Moving on doesn’t mean you’re letting that person go or are forgetting them. You’re simply continuing on with your life while carrying their spirit with you ❤️
Having lost my Mom 7 years ago I never agreed with the saying “time heals all wounds,” I think instead time helps you be able to live with it. It never heals, really. I still cry sometimes and long to hug my mom. I don’t think that will ever go away while I’m here. My advice to people reading is to hug your family. A real long hug. Tell them what they mean to you. I’d do anything for one more GOOD hug with my Mom.
I’m 23 and have been watching you for 4 years because you remind me of my mum who I lost when I was 19. The comfort your mannerisms bring me is very similar to those of my mums. Sometimes when I’m drifting off with your video in the background I forget she’s gone, the best part of my day. Stay happy Mary, it bring me happiness in the very dark world I live in.
My wife and I lost our eldest child a son aged 47 due to a heart attack about three months ago right in the middle Of this Pandemic the funeral was not the same only 10 people allowed at the funeral in our area of the UK So it's all been a bit strange not even been allowed to see him at all after his death Although we're have become a little hardened to death Because we lost our eldest daughter back in 2010 Due to complications due to epilepsy But I will say to you Mary and others it is very hard at the beginning with lots of tears but you will feel a little better one day other wise you will go crazy with grief Thanks Mary for doing this video always best to talk about things like this than let it fester A grateful fan of yours from South Wales UK
i am so sorry. i understand things can be rough at times but just know that both of your children are looking down at you from heaven. you are so incredibly strong
I am truly sorry for your loss of both your son and your daughter. ❤️ I'm from South Wales UK as well and I cannot imagine how difficult the funeral was having it during that time.
I have lost my mom and my little brother a few years ago. I’m still not over it. My mom was my best friend and she passed suddenly. I truly believe it was the way she was supposed to go because if I had to slowly see her go I would never be able to let her go (sorry for saying “go” too many times) and when my brother passed, I was devastated obviously but almost felt comforted that they were together. I don’t know, I’m very comfortable talking about my losses but terrified of dying myself. Thank you for talking about this Mary ❤️
I just lost my father in June 13 days after he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. While 7m pregnant with my 4th. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone threw in my life. This video was definitely needed for me. I'm due Saturday, and I haven't mourned my dad's death like I should because I hear his voice in my head telling me if you cry the baby cries... Thanks for making this video Mary
So sorry I have six children on earth one son Mason I lost halfway through pregnancy and 3 early miscarriages..my husband killed himself two years ago in december when I was six months pregnant with our youngest baby so it's been rough my faith provides hope and strength
I lost my son on Easter Sunday April 21st 2019, the most difficult thing by far in my entire life... I was in a very dark place, contemplated suicide numerous times, my son was only 16 and was special needs, was Autistic and was like a Child, having to bury your only son is something no parent should have to go through, not a day goes by that I don't cry.. To my son Matthew James, it's not Goodbye it's see you Later.... Mommy loves you until eternity 😢 😢
❤️ Mary has posted many videos oddly/randomly during extremely similar life events. I take it as a sign and I follow her advice always. She is so wise.
My husband and I lost someone on Sunday too. 💔 Sending you so much love and light during this time. May you find peace and warmth in the memories you treasure most. 🤍
I learned last year that grief pops up at weird times and in strange ways. I had been grieving for a little over a month and the sadness suddenly turned to anger. I didn't know how to process it and got pissed off at any plant in my house that had a brown spot or even looked questionable and just started chucking them in the trash. Seems so dumb now but you just have to let the feelings come as they want to.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, Mary. I lost my dad 12 years ago. He had many health problems, but all seemed fine. He went suddenly due to a heart attack. I’ve experienced a few losses in my day, but that one is still, by far, the hardest. I miss him every single day. This is a good talk, Mary. It’s such a difficult subject that not many people care to tackle.
Everyone in this comment section deserves absolute happiness. Remember you are far stronger than you could imagine. That person(s) will always be with you, no matter what you do
I lost my father when I was 13 and my mother when I was 21. They were both only in their early 40's when they died. Being an only child added to the pain and loneliness. I am now 54 and even though time is healing, there are still days I long to talk to my parents. My only advice would be is to make as many memories as you can with your loved ones. You will cherish those special times one day.
I completely agree with your advice. Memories are all we have when someone is gone. It’s been 8 months since I’ve seen any of my family due to COVID... it’s tough because if I go visit them, I don’t know how long it’ll be until I see my partner. (Different countries) but your comment is making me feel like I need to move up my planned visit date so thank you
Mary, this video was posted at the perfect time. My little sisters birthday is on Wednesday. She would have been 17 and starting her senior year. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. Thank you for this video 💜
Can’t watch now but will soon. My dad took his own life a couple months ago and the grief is unpredictable and bizarre and so freaking sad I can’t stand it. Looking forward to comforting words from sweet Mary.
I think we’re all grieving in some way this year. Whether it’s the loss of loved ones or big life events/experiences. This video will comfort a lot of people. Thank you Mary ❤️
This one hit home and I was bawling just a quarter of the way through the video. I lost my mom 2 months ago and I miss her terribly. My dad is all I have left and he now has liver cancer. I love them both so much. This is too much for me to bear at once and one of the hardest things in life. I feel for all others going through this. 😥
Thank you, Mary. 💗 I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer. It was sudden, as her treatments were working... but she was allergic to her final chemo treatments and it killed her. There are days when it slams into me out of the blue, randomly, like, “Whoa, she’s not here anymore. My mom is gone.” I’m in a surreal place from it. This video helps.
This video really helped me. I've lost people in my life that I was very close to. It's true that every one deals with grief in their own way. I have senior parents and I too have had that moment recently where I looked at them and it hit me like a ton of bricks. They got older in a blink of an eye. It also made me sad but I excepted that it's just the circle of life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, your views, your suggestions. I know it helped me and I'm sure it helped many others. Take care & have a good day.💕💕💕💕💕
Thank you so much, Mary. I lost my grandmother a few weeks back and this video truly helped me feel a bit more at ease in making this big life transition. You're an amazing and eloquently spoken woman and are very loved by this community.
Thank you Mary, this definitely hit close. I just lost my grandma last Wednesday due to complications from covid. That is the second close family member that I have lost in my lifetime. I lost my maternal grandmother in 2013 and did not deal with well because I was not able to see her before she passed, with all precautions taken, I was able to see me paternal grandmother last week before she passed.
*Oddly I got really hard news about my grandpa who was my father figure growing, up my entire life actually.. and I’ve been a mess. A MESS. He is getting weaker and sleeps a lot. I know he’s elderly, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I feel for anyone going throw any sort of a less. Thanks for this Mary.*
I'm glad you were led to make this video. My grandmother has bladder cancer, and it's not looking good. She's 92, and I know she's lived a full life so you'd think that would make saying goodbye easier, but it hasn't. She's been my best friend since the day I was born, so life without her is hard to comprehend. Cancer and Alzheimer's are such cruel diseases, and they're both "long goodbyes." Thank you for the video, and thank you to whomever requested it.
I am so grateful that you are talking about this. I have listened to your videos for over a year & enjoy them all. I also made a point to listen to River Road & finish it this spring. I loved it & was listening to the last episode the night of May 30. Didn’t quite finish it bc I fell asleep. I woke up on the 31 to find my 26 year old son had died during the night. He had battled addiction for 10 years & that night was his last. I am shattered & time has stopped for me. Or the days race by, faster & faster, further away from the last day that he was alive. Children should never die before their parents. Therapy & group counseling do help, if only momentarily. I just can’t bring myself to finish to that last episode of River Road. Maybe someday I will.
My beloved dad passed away early June from cancer. He was one of my best friends. Thank you for this video Mary. I want you to know that he knew about your videos and how much they help me, every day.
I really appreciate this video. One of my closest friends passed unexpectedly last Saturday and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this now. I keep reminding myself, it's not goodbye, it's "I'll see you soon."
I lost my best friend in February. 21 and speaking at her funeral felt like a joke. Ive never felt so alone. So many people assured me that time heals, but truthfully it doesnt. There really is no moving forward, you’ll never be the same person you were before. But there is another side, you get there. Ive found strength i never knew i had and resilience i didnt know existed. If youre in pain, hang in there. Be proud of yourself for eating a meal, for showering. Its tough but youre tougher.
Thank you for this video, Mary. Talking about death and grief needs to be more normalized since it does affect everyone. My big sister died unexpectedly when I was six. Ten years later a friend's dad died and one of the first things I told her was that dealing with the loss is never going to be easier, but you will get used to it and it will hurt less and less with time. You also shouldn't feel bad for hurting less and becoming happy again because you'll never forget about them. It's been nearly 22 years since I've lost my sister and it still hurts like the first day, but I know how to handle it now.
Yes I just lost my sister and best friend in January. It was sadly a sudden death. Grief has been one of the hardest journeys I have gone through. May god bless you all and keep grief from your doors and if it does know that the pain does ease it just takes time.
Thank you so much for doing this video..I sometimes thought I was the only one who felt that way about parents getting older.. You're so spot on with this..it hits you , out of no where..its a sad and scarey feeling, along with a hundred other emotions, that follow. Its a feeling you cant explain, its just something unfortunately you have to go through and process it, In the end though, you will be ok.
Thank you Mary, and to everyone in the comments sharing your stories. This video could not have come at a more relevant time. About 3 weeks ago my close friend passed very suddenly. She was a bright light in my life, and in the lives of so many others. She had a talent for making you feel like you were the most important person in the world. She was a champion for the downtrodden, and gave a voice to the voiceless, and it feels so senseless the way she was taken so suddenly. It's been difficult coping with this massive loss, but I'm taking some solace in knowing that we all have our own personal losses to deal with. You are so right to say it comes in waves. I thought I was doing okay and getting over it, but as I read the title of this video and clicked on it, I burst into tears on the bus. I don't know that I'll ever be truly over it, but I'm hoping it'll get easier as time goes on. Thank you again 💖
I just lost someone I was really close to very suddenly. You're right. Time is the best medicine. It's hard at first, but it gets easier as you go on. For me the pain will never go away, but it will get easier to deal with the pain. Thank you for posting this. It's so different for everyone.
I lost my great grandmother this year on Mother's day to covid. It was my first experience with death and I didn't quite know how to react. I thought I would cry immediately when something happened but I didn't. It didn't really hit me that she was gone until we were at the funeral and they were getting ready to lower her into the grave. It was hard because I had spent my entire 15 years of my life with her always there and the last time that I saw her was through the window of her room at the nursing home she was living in. Thank you Mary for this video. It was extremely helpful. My grandfather was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and that has also been hard. But it was nice to know that I'm not alone.
It is good to hear you just talk to us. This topic hits me a little differently. More in the loss of my family falling apart (grieving over the loss of a relationship). Being taken away from being at home with my children. I just started getting back into the workforce, after being at home with my little ones for 5 years. The training is difficult, but that is another story. Becoming a single mama just crushed me 😔 I miss their father and being at home with my kids. Sorry, I'm rambling I just have a lot of stuff I'm carrying around. Anywho, I love you Mary over and out -Heather
Please remember that you are beautiful in and out, and that people care for you. Now I don’t necessarily know your situation and circumstances but as a suicide survivor I want you to know that everything gets better, and all the happiness you deserve will be there at the end of all your pain that you may go through. No I don’t know you but I care for you, and I hope you get better from whatever you may be going through❤️
So sorry to hear about your pain...Please seek help. It doesn’t feel like it now but it will get better someday soon. Love yourself, you are worth it!!
Karena Rivera thank you so much, i’ve recently been recommended a therapist but as a minor with parents that don’t believe in mental illness i’ve been hiding coping mechanisms that help, you’re so kind, have an amazing day
You’re so sweet Mary. 💕 Thank you for being brave and taking on this subject. I find too many people are afraid to talk about grief, which makes it harder for those who are grieving. I lost my mom when I was 22 (I’m 32 now). She was very sick for ten years before we lost her. My paternal grandpa died from Parkinson’s and my other grandpa died from lung cancer. Then 4 years ago my first child, my son, was stillborn because of an infection. Last year I went through 2 miscarriages. I often used to wonder why I’ve experienced so much loss at a young age but I realized that I’ll never know the answer and knowing won’t change anything. The best lesson I’ve learned is that moving forward in life doesn’t mean you have to forget your loved one. I will always miss my loved ones but I keep them alive in my heart and through my actions in this world. I actually do many charity projects in memory of my babies. Those projects have been really healing. I also see a great therapist. Some days are really hard still but happiness has returned to my life again.
Mary, I have always been deeply terrified of death. Whether it’s my family, my friends, or myself, our own mortality scares me so much. However, this video is very helpful and comforting to me. I unexpectedly lost my papaw this May and I have been struggling with the idea that he truly is gone. I also lost a great grandfather to Alzheimer’s Disease when I was a sophomore in high school. (2013) Hearing you talk about terminal conditions as a, “long goodbye,” is such an accurate statement. You want so badly to end their suffering, but the human side of you wants to keep them so badly. It’s so very troubling to deal with those things, especially something like Alzheimer’s. Hearing you speak about it was an eerie, yet strangely lovely reminder of my past with my great-grandpa and the memories we shared together. Again, I’m so glad you made this video. It helps to ease my mind and my heart a bit. You, your mother, and your family will be in my prayers.
Thank you. My grandfather died unexpectedly 3 days ago. He had dementia, but otherwise supposedly in good health and had only been in a senior center for a month. We were called in and made it to see him not even an hour before he passed... Struggling with getting my mind and feelings around it.
My oldest baby had her first day of college today. Definitely bittersweet. When they were all little , a day seemed so long, and now half a year goes by in what seems like a blink.
sometimes it feels like all there is is death , i've been trying to fight the depression and thoughts of not wanting to be here it just feels like it never ends
@@elliea5088 You're welcome. I could go on forever about my own experience with depression, but I'll spare you that. :) When things are all doom and gloom, try to focus on the little things that make you happy. For me, it's chocolate, Adam Sandler and Kevin Smith movie marathons, and lots and lots of music. Goofy as that sounds, it does help me. And, of course, there are the big things, like family, that make it worth fighting for. It's all worth fighting for. And when those negative thoughts invade, just raise your hand and extend your middle finger at them. ;)
It gets better, there is so much that is waiting for you to find it. And there are people who value and love and need you, you might not be aware of them, but I promise you they are there.
Thank you Mary. I am going through so much loss at the moment. I lost my uncle and my best friend in less than a month apart from each other. My friend was there to console me when my uncle passed away, then before I knew it she was gone too. Each day gets a little bit easier but I still have moments where I catch myself not really being able to fully accept it. I really appreciate your content, it helps me get a few moments of much needed distraction. ❤️
When I was 9, my mum drowned in the bath on the morning of my cousins wedding after having an epileptic seizure and the bathroom door being locked. I was 9 years old and I’m now 23. It was so so so sudden and out of nowhere. The last thing I said to her was I love you mum, goodnight and she was gone. I didn’t really know how to grieve or deal with it because I was so young and my family didn’t want to speak about her anymore because it was too painful too so my way of dealing with it was to just lash out and it made me severely depressed and anxious but now after 14 years I can start to heal. Death is so sudden and so raw. But she’s right, you have to talk about it and you have to be real with yourself in how you feel always otherwise you’ll bubble over. It never gets easier, you just learn to deal with it and it becomes the new normal. They’re always with you though in memories and in your heart, you carry them with you no matter where you go. It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later. RIP mum 💖
Hi Mary, haven't seen you in a long while. I lost my mom in 1997, and, father 1979 several aunt's etc. I'm glad to hear your mom and dad are both still here with us.
This last couple years my mom lost her dad, mom, moms cousin, and cousin. After seeing such grief first hand, I respect all those going through such heartache and I hope anyone with grief feels ok soon remember, and that it is ok to feel sad and think about death after losing a loved one. Remember therapy is always there if you need it and it is ok If you do. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you will get through anything your going through.❤
Thank you Mary for doing this video.. You know my story of what I’ve gone through and lost that I wrote you on messenger on Facebook a few months ago. It’s still so hard here for me by myself to accept the fact I won’t be able to see my dear Mother again till my death comes. It was one year ago on the 14th she passed away here peacefully at the age of almost 90.. She had lived with me for 3 years, was bedridden the last 14 months here.. I did everything for her.. She was my sidekick 24/7 the entire time she lived with me. That’s what made it even harder for me and not having any family left here or really close friends since I haven’t worked on around 11 years .. thank you again...💔💔💕
Little did I know that watching this video when you made it that it would be so applicable to me these last 3 weeks. I had to put down my beloved dog, my father in law died exactly one week later, and then exactly a week after that my father was hospitalized for a stroke (he's still there). Im less than a month away from giving birth to my 2nd child. I dont feel like ive had time to grieve the loss of my dog yet, much less my FIL and now the uncertainty of my own father. And bringing a child into what feels like just pure sadness, is scary. Thanks for making this Mary.
My older sister has FTD dementia, & I’m her only family member left. It is heartbreaking. She’s in a nursing home yet I haven’t seen her in months bc if Covid. Seems that I’m grieving the loss of my sister before she is actually gone.
Hi mary,i found your channel a few months after my mom died. You have helped me get some sleep and i thank you for that. It will be 3 years this october i lost her to pancreatic cancer. Her health declined in less than a year and its a horrible thing to see your mom take her last breath💔 i am not the same nor ever will be i miss her terribly. Suicidal thoughts have crossed my mimd but im fighting to stay here. Love your videos.J from california
Thank you Mary. Wise words and real thought provoking. It’s so true that none of us escape this : loss, bereavement, grief and inevitably death - but that, combined with joy, laughter and love is what the human experience is all about. I learned such a lot with a massive jolt when my Mum died. It was like I half believed that because she’d been around for as long as I could remember, she always would be! Older and hopefully wiser, I hope that Ive learned to accept the things that I cannot change. 💜
Totally ASMR...your voice and your accent are the reason I keep coming back to your channel. You could be speaking in tongues and I'd be here. As a Buddhist death is a daily reminder for me how precious life is and death is simply a transition. Thanks for your honesty and candor... I'm sorry to hear about your mother, that's a tough diagnoses. Just keep loving her and accept that it's her journey for whatever reason. Take care of yourself.
i lost my uncle two weeks ago and i miss him so much and it just reminded me of the passing of my auntie i both miss them so much but this video was calming so thank u
Wow, crazy timing. I lost a fellow classmate to a car crash on Friday and my mom lost a dear friend to a stroke on Saturday. Thanks for this, especially during these already hard times.
Thank you very much for this video, Mary. I know it is not an easy thing to talk about, but my experience tells me it is not good to avoid it. I was surprised how many people refused to come to my colleague´s funeral (sudden a very quick cancer) claiming " I do not do funerals", "I cannot bear to go" etc. When we prepared my mother in law´s funeral, the lady in the parlor told us that majority of people do not have it, just a cremation and that s it. I feel it is important to say good bye, otherwise you cannot let go.
I respect your feeling led and know what that feels like and agree it’s important to listen to. How strange we can’t discuss death here. Glad you’re doing so. Also, great outfit!
I remember when you posted this video two years ago and deciding not to watch it because i didnt need it. My grandmother passed away on monday. I dont know how I will continue my life without her in it everyday. I dont think it has fully hit me yet. Thank you for being my favorite youtuber, I watch you everynight.
I am 68( and I say 1/2 too)...lost both parents before I was 40.and I still feel it everyday....and my 2 best friends each from Cancer when we were in our 30's and 40's.....you are so right about the long goodbye....thanks for doing this
I ve lost plenty of family and friends but noone like when my dad died june 8th. Every single day I cry and say i wish i could talk to him so bad. Everything i see reminds me of him.
Thank you so much for the video Mary. I believe I’m the one that requested it but I’m sure you get many on a daily basis so I wouldn’t want to assume but I’m pretty sure! Thank you for your words and I couldn’t agree more with the fact that I’m not alone - even just looking in the comment section today with everyone that is mourning the loss of a loved one. I continue to listen to your videos in the background of my day while I process it all - thank you for your dedication to your channel!
I lost my brother a two years ago very suddenly in a motorbike accident. I now know that the grief passes and changes. But in some sense I'll never get over it. I'll never get back the bliss of ignorance of not having to deal with someone close dying. Up until that I never thought of death. I didn't really feel the possibility and probability of losing someone important. In that instant I realised how fragile life is and that threw me into two years of constant fear of my own or somebody close's safety. For almost two years I felt like there's nothing in life, anybody could die at any moment so what's the point. Some may call it existential crisis. After two years of therapy I can finally say I'm in a better place, but I will never be the same person I was before the loss. Thank you for your wise words Mary!
I lost my mom to dementia in 2009. Even now I have some days it still hurts so much, it takes my breath. You are amazing. It means alot for you to take time to make this video.
I lost my mom from Alzheimer’s 2 years and a half ago. It was awful because the last year she didn’t recognize anybody. Even my sister and I... we were all her world for more than 60 years and she didn’t recognize us anymore. It’s an horrible disease because it transforms radically the person you used to be. I try to only remember my mom when she was young and so beautiful. I love her so much and will be her little daughter forever.
Thank you I needed to here this my Husband died 3 month ago I have good days and bad but when it hits me I just go with it I see a therapist he had cancer it was sudden thank you 🙏 for this
I lost two aunts, an uncle and my sister in law within the past two and a half years. I was very very close to all of them. Being able to talk open and honestly with my family and friends helped get me through it. My sis in law committed suicide. My relatives had health issues. Different scenarios but same heartbreak. i hope anyone going through tough times right now can find their peace and comfort also ❤️
I haven’t got very far into the video yet but I really needed to hear the bit about the terrible twos, my son turned two right at the beginning of lockdown and this has been so challenging! Thanks for that little reminder to enjoy it ❤️
I’m trying to get my 4 kids back to school too 3rd,5th grades, and middle school and high school too! So you just Hang in there Mama! ❤️ you got this! And I hope your boys have a good year! Thank you for this video... death and grief, is not spoken about enough or honored enough. We lost our youngest daughter 5 years ago, as of August the 13th... it really takes so long to get through your days in the beginning, and to make it to the place where it doesn’t hurt to just breathe again, it’s literally hard to just wake and to just function every day for a long time after. But, You can not deny the loss, you have to feel the loss but also feel the love ... because it’s there! The loss is Immeasurable but so is the beautiful everlasting love that’s left behind. After my daughter died , I found asmr actually. I couldn’t sleep after being so used to be a mom that would wake all through the night to get my 7month old, I just couldn’t sleep or feel Alone at night after my daughter died. Asmr brought me some comfort. ❤️. And as far as comforting people through grief, I just wanted someone to sit in the darkness, to be there with no expectations and love us through it. That’s it, no words just be there with me. ❤️ and those people that do that, they are a gift!!! Hold on to them! Bless your sweet heart... and everyone who has suffered through loss. Stay well!
I watched my mom struggle with my farmer grandad who had alzheimers, and sometimes you realize the quick deaths are a blessing because they don't suffer so long. I found peace in that. Just trying to help you see a bright side.
