I feel the same way. I was molested by someone who I really trusted, and was almost raped by a neighbor, all before the age of 13. I’m 23 now and am still learning not to blame myself for the things that happened to me, and trusting someone is so scary.
i've never understood this fuss around virginity.it's an individual's personal choice whether to have sex or not. why does it matter to anyone else? you don't owe an explanation to anyone. since some of you seem to be disagreeing with what i said, my point is that no one should be mocked for being a virgin or not being one.
Right also people treat it like it’s a must do. There’s more to life than that. I think teens rush into that experience before learning more about themselves.
I think there is something to be said about religious indoctrination which can have serious negative consequences related to virginity and glorification of sex and marriage
In Asia Typically in Philippines, when you loose your Virginity at a young age(14-17) you're considered as dirty, sinful, war freak, slutty, horny teenager, etc..
@@novavanguard1313 yeah, you'll get discriminated just by posting on social media that you're proud you're not a virgin anymore or just by talking about it... In other countries it may seem "COOL" but in Asia Typically Philippines its the opposite...
As a 25 y/o virgin I’m kind of afraid if that. I’m a very passionate-driven (but not emotion-driven) person as well, so I’m afraid my body will tell my brain that the first one is “The One,” simply because that person happened to be the first to give me the time of day.
Exactly, thats why I prefer sex after marriage. Cuz even if like u lost it and if the first time is bad, at least I lost it to someone that'd have higher chances to stay with me longer, than losing it to my for eg bf who can just break up with me after the sex itself yk..
What I dislike is. When people hold their virginity for any other reason besides religion everybody supports it. But if they hold it for religion. People mock and hate it. Doesnt make sense. When a lot of secular reasons match up with religious reasons lol. People hate other peoples religious beliefs so much it’s ridiculous
@@sunshine3914 no y’all are just superficial and refuse to see the deeper in things. Y’all rely on the 5 senses that repeatedly fails you everyday 😂your idea of a God is very limited and unintelligent and that’s why you mock because you don’t know how to understand. But I wouldn’t expect to when you worship and rely on only your eyes, taste, smell, touch and not your consciousness and spirit. You ever noticed when a child grows without his/her parents. No matter how successful they grow up to be. They will always be missing something inside. Because humans have a deeper longing to connect the source that brought us into this realm of life. Humans are meant to connect with the higher source that brought forth life. And that’s what religious people do. Seek their humanly source so they feel complete. Like an orphan looking for its parents. And you mock them for that. It’s sad. People who go throughout their life content on only the superficial and refuse to attempt to connect with the source of life are missing something and it’s even sadder most of y’all refuse to realize y’all are missing it.
It's because being pure is more than simple virginity, it also makes a person pure in other ways such as behavior. Children are innocent which is why a pure person seems childish.
That girl made me feel so not alone. I’m also 22 and still haven’t even had my 1st kiss. It’s just hard to find someone genuine nowadays. I’m also scared to have strong feelings for someone haha
I'm almost 42 and have never been intimate with anyone. Because I'm older than the people in the video I felt a bit weird while watching it, but I can relate to the answers they gave.
Not far behind you, turning 36 next month, and having read and heard many stories of people who wanted to share their stories, I for one don't know if I can trust I won't have the same negative experiences. Would rather not risk it.
I’m 21 and I’m still a virgin, never had a boyfriend because nobody matches my expectations and I would like to do it with only the love of my life, not for religious reason. But men like that doesn’t seem to exist :(
man that matches your expectations does exists.....hope you find him soon👍......by the way man with exact same thinking like yours does exist though you havent seen but they do exist☺️
We definitely do exist, but there are very few guys like me and girls like you. I'm the same in that I wanna wait until I fall in love with a girl. But so many more people would rather have sex before falling in love. Which is of course absolutely fine, but just sucks for people like us ;_;
I lost my virginity at 30 to my wife, and I truly believe I have one of the happiest marriages ever. We were best friends before marriage when we dated for 3 years, and we're still best friends now. We always talked about sex, but we decided that waiting for it till after marriage would be so much better. Honestly, it really was though. I'm not saying people should do what I do, but still think my decision is one of the best I've made in my life.
This video honestly helped me feel better about some of my own insecurities about being a virgin. I only just started my first year of college, but I felt like I was behind everyone else, especially since I've only been on one date and never had a boyfriend. You can't look at someone and know they are a virgin too, so you can't gauge how "apart" or "behind" you are from a group of people. The question about are you afraid of your first time is interesting, it's not really a yes or no answer. I'm not afraid of it, but I'm afraid of the pain, of not feeling pleasure, of not proper protection, and most of all if it's not consensual. Because sadly enough, that's something I, and many people, have to be scared of in this day and age.
i am a non religous girl, i turned 18 a few days ago and i have not had my first kiss yet, nor have i had a boyfriend yet. i occasionally get very, very insecure about it (to the point that if i had a bad day, just thinking about it makes me feel bad about myself and just kind of not beautiful, even though i know it has nothing to do with that). but i know i am not the only one, and i just want to remind everyone who reads this who might be in a similar position, dont beat yourself up. i know its hard and how it feels, but just know it really doesnt matter. If you want it to happen, it will happen someday. And i have noticed that i truly am the only one putting this amount of pressure on myself because of it. edit: wow i love the positivity in the replies. thanks guys :) i love having positive conversations with strangers on the internet
Ay don't stress about it. Youy don't have to be religious to wait to have sex. It's perfectly fine. I'd even argue it's better to wait and find your spouse, as it's best when physical intimacy is combined with emotional intimacy. About looking for a boyfriend, make sure you know what you want and what a healthy relationship looks like before jumping into one
Don’t feel that, it’s really not that crazy, trust me you’ll be the same person once you come out of it. If anything it’ll make you want you to hook up more (distract you from what you wana do)
I was in the same position as you are now. Don't worry abt it. The reason i never had my first kiss or a girlfriend is because there just wasn't anyone i was interested in, even though i considered myself pretty social.
I have vaginismus, a condition that makes sex nearly impossible atm. Oh, and I'm married :)) I'd love to see this type of thing talked about more. I'm only a virgin by choice because it's physically painful. I'm currently in therapy, and slowly making progress, but this isn't talked about enough. At first it was religious for me to abstain, until I tried with my now husband and had many failed attempts. If you're going through the same, know you're not alone!
Thank you for sharing this information with us. I'd like to ask some questions based on what you've said and I'd appreciate if you would answer them, thank you, but I will understand if you don't feel comfortable doing so❤️. How long have you and your husband been married? How does this affect your intimacy, if it does? What are your alternatives?
@kendall walker Thank you for sharing your story, I hope that you and your husband can eventually overcome your condition. I know it’s hard to deal with sometimes, I had vaginismus too. I couldn’t use tampons and I was too anxious to fathom the idea of anything going up there. Luckily I went through the vaginal dilator therapy, and successfully got up to my largest dilator. It took me months to overcome vaginismus, and it was a very lonely journey.
Being a virgin feels like such an isolating experience, so it’s cool seeing that there are literally so MANY of us out there. Sex should never feel like pressure, even once you enter adulthood. This year I’ve grown comfortable just being myself. I can only hope that because I’m an adult now, I have more emotional intelligence to deal with something as serious as sex when it happens. Either way, I’m chillin!
I STRONGLY DISAGREE! Being as famous as I am on RU-vid, I know that it gets hard to read every comment I get. I try my best, but I am just so famous, that I can't do it much longer. Sorry, dear abe
so sad that people cannot fathom the idea of someone choosing to be a virgin or whatever choice they've made for themselves, it's so nice to see people that still values it and cherish it for a shared experience with someone special and GOOD FOR THEM!!! Also, the fact that so many people define themselves based on their sexual preference or experiences is kind of empty IMHO, we are more than what we decide to do with our bodies and who we choose as our sexual companions
@@domii6400 you're right and I've been wanting to go for the past few years but my parents aren't happy about it/keen on letting me go. I went for 3 sessions and it was so helpful and freeing but than it just stopped and I've been too scared to ask to go again.
@@hach7836 parents support is so important When I started talking with parents about my anxiety I showed them short video in which young girl shows some situations and talk how she feels It was easier for me 'cause talking about feelings wasn't common in my home They also read a lot of books and articles and they say that now they more understand social anxiety Maybe going with your parents to therapist helps? Anyways, stay safe,I wish you the best❤️
what the long haired guy said about praying after his wedding was so sweet!!!!! really loved hearing all the people who were so outright about their faith :) definitely feels like i’m in the minority sometimes even in my christian circles
The fact that society makes it so it’s “weird” to not have sex is ridiculous and harmful. Sex can have major consequences.. for one, and two it’s the person body, it’s there choice and sex is not a NEED.
I'm happy Jubilee has done some videos about virgins. Makes me feel less weird lol. I relate to the orange haired girl the most. I definitely want to but I've always been introverted and eccentric. I haven't put myself in situations where it could've happened. I do lie about it and say that I'm not a virgin because I feel as a woman (esp. in your late 20s) it can make you feel undesirable and I'm afraid of being honest because it makes me feel more insecure about it.
i’m a 22 year old girl i kissed a girl 3 years ago and haven’t done anything romantic since then. i’m not religious or anything. im just v anti social and bad at putting myself out there and i just want to feel comfortable with the first person i have sex with bc it’s still v vulnerable
I'm 25 and virgin. In fact i havent even had a relationship before. But everyone is in their own phase in life, dont let other people define you or make you become what your not
@@evildeities8750 Because catholics and protestants apply their puritanical and restraining rules to every part of life. Sorry but that deserves judgment. You can clearly tell some people were stunted by the rules and fears they were taught as children
The only time I feel uncomfortable about being a virgin is around friends who aren’t virgins and they start dissecting it like I have to explain myself as if I’m something that needs to be fixed. The most annoying is female friends that talk about how much of a catch you are knowing full well they aren’t interested so their words mean nothing. It’s like you’re failing in math and you’re teacher helps by saying “you’re good at math. You won’t pass my class but you’re a top notch student.” Always a student but never a graduate. I can talk about anything with anybody but there are just too many judgmental people out there and the worst ones are the people that don’t even know they are doing it. They’ll be a nice person but their biases make the feel a certain way about other that kinda inadvertently makes me resent those people. We have these struggles in society because of the people that can’t self reflect and understand other points of view without being clouded or aware of their own biases and flaws in logic. It literally takes a moment to think “why do I feel this way.” Literally just thinking before you talk. Not sorry for the rant. It’s frustrating.
this!!!! I have friends (and I probably should cut them off) who judge me because they find it weird that I haven't had sex or that I don't masturbate, and they really do try to "dissect" my mindset like there's something abnormal about me. They'll try to be nice about it with me but they don't realize that they're being really judgmental and it's frustrating :(
@@lsnqkcnqkpnkpsnqpjcbpq God girl. Don't let others tell you otherwise. Where I am, if you have sex before marriage, your parents will spank the soul out of you. It's disgraceful to have sex before marriage.
@@alext3480 yes, but there are, as well, aromatic people. And since there isn't a lot of representation for ace people, it would be more educative, in my opinion
"Are you afraid of sex?" Me: *remembers the saying "you attract what you fear"* "Oh, nooooo, not sex, the products of a nightmare!!! Ahhhh, pls dont catch mee, ahhhhhh..........."
I’m saving myself for marriage because of my Faith and I think that it’ll be a beautiful thing for the body and soul to connect while worshipping/praying and consummate our covenant before God. Really glad other Christians feel this way too and are speaking up about it!
I am waiting also. The way the Bible describes true sexual intimacy of married couples gives me the strength to carry on in a society that does not value the gift of sexual intimacy the way it should be valued.
I was sexually abused as a kid, for a few years, so it really shows how that trauma affects people differently. I haven’t had sex and it’s taken me years to get over it, and I’m still uncomfortable with the thought of having sex.. I also struggle with relationships and friendships, so it’s gonna take a while for me XD
To the 29 year old: I'm 36 and just married a month ago. We met Christian speed dating. Praying before our first time was amazingly special. And several times since we've prayed together after sex. It's not weird.
I'm glad it was special! But in the video he said he would like to pray during sex (that is what I understood I don't know for sure if that is what he was actually saying), which I don't really understand why he would want to do that, being religious I get before and/ after.
@@DianaLopez-uw2lf Prayer doesn't have to be eyes closed and talk to God. Prayer is communication with God. I would be praying first because it creates a safe environment for my partner who is maybe afraid. Second I will be thanking God for something so beautiful. Its a time that I have waited for so long and I know im giving thanks. It would be based more on intimacy and thankfulness than the physical action.
I feel like there really is no need to have this expectation from people to have sex at a certain point of life (which is usually after 18 - before 21) . It's a personal thing and some may want to do it when they are 60, some when they are 18, some want to wait till a certain time and some may even not wanna do it because of personal reasons or maybe a lack of interest for sex. No one has the right to shame a person for the way they decide how their sex life is and the person doesn't owe you an explanation as to why they are a virgin or why they slept with 1000 people as long as it's all legal and with consent from all the sides.
>to shame a person for the way they decide No one does that. They shame people for being virgins in spite of trying to get laid - you know: most people that are virgins. You are just so massively priviledged that you don't even acknowledge this reality.
Virginity should actually not be the right term for that. It should be called chastity. Things you shouldn’t do with other people if your are married or have a partner. For a religious person like myself... i wouldn’t count kissing as losing your virginity. But i also would not kiss a guy or cuddle with a guy i am not married to.
i think the idea of virginity doesn't cater to a lot of people and there are some valid reasons for why different things should be considered losing your virginity too, apart from the classic definition, but kissing is definitely not losing your virginity lol
I never realized how many Christians there are in this world. I’m also a hardcore Christian but I’ve never thought of premarital sex as a sin. And I don’t consider homosexuality a sin either (I am bi). I think it’s because my own mother (also hardcore Christian) got pregnant when she wasn’t married.
@@edouarddonald4817 i thought the bible just said that homosexual intercourse was a sin rather than just experiencing an attraction to the same gender.
@@edouarddonald4817 You don’t define their Christianity and if they say they’re a Christian, then let them. Saying that they aren’t is the type of things that drive others away from Christianity.
@@bm1259 it didn’t even say anything about either actually, the verses I know of where it talks anything remotely close were mistranslated during the time of King James, or just added in by corrupt translators. It’s a lot to explain but there are a lot of articles that talk about it.
@@edouarddonald4817 God wouldn’t appreciate your judgment towards another person’s relationship with Him. That said, you don’t get to define what Christianity means for someone else and even the Bible has been interpreted in so many ways. Not everyone will align to what you think Christianity means and that’s okay. In the end, we still believe in Him.
I’m scared of being with someone who would fuck over my career, life, relationships etc. I’m close to being 18 (I’m in highschool) and a lot of my friends have been already been active. I am not religious but I’m scared that I’d either be exploited by someone and that I’m insecure about what I don’t know compared to my partner.
I completely get that, love. Those are very real and valid feelings. Just always remember that it's important that you feel comfortable and safe. It's completely okay if it takes a while to find someone who makes you feel that way. Don't rush into anything you're not ready for. You are amazing and I hope you'll have a happy life.❤
"If I have sex I'll go to hell" as a Christian, I'm so sorry that that's the narrative given to you :( The whole purpose of the gospel is that if you sin you can be forgiven and start over. I'm not saying like go on a sex spree lol but if you've made the choice to have pre-marital sex it doesn't mean you're permanently over with and will rot in hell
Isnt that convenient. So basically you can do whatever you want and always be forgiven. Thats some shitty morals. How about that sex is not bad in the first place.
@@ThornyRoseV it's that Christianity is a faith and not a religion. Religion tends to follow a structure of 'follow the rules or face condemnation'. The Christian faith is about acting out of a place of love for God and for everyone else. If you can do this perfectly, in theory, you'd never 'sin'. But no human is perfect and Christians believe God loves us enough to forgive us. Doesn't mean we can do what we like and then say sorry on our death bed. It's about doing your best in what God asked us to do. And Christians don't believe sex is bad, we actually have a much higher value of it than almost everyone else
@@89Dustdevil well it is for many people but most Christians would argue they've misunderstood the core biblical teachings. Most Christians that denounce Christianity seem to come from religious backgrounds in my experience, rather than faith backgrounds. When you see both first-hand, they are poles apart
the guy who spoke about prayer is as if he is talking about me exactly the same thing that I want..you don't seem crazy. There is a logic that we, the Virgin, understand.
@sad boi It seems crazy I know. We feel that prayer is a way to bless our beginning, as a kind of thanks and gratitude that after waiting we have found the right man to marry him, so we pray that this bond will last 😅
I understang praying before or after but how can you pray during sex? 😂😂😂 I was with him till he said that.. I feel like prayer should be focused on and not done while multitasking
I've never had a boyfriend, kissed, or had sex with anyone until I was 28. I didn't feel anything about me changed before and after. I'm still the same me.
On the topic of the young lady who said she and her twin were assault, not every person who, unfortunately, is put through that thinks the same way. I, for example, being molested at a young age, like the touching and such, it gives me control over it. Though I understand not wanting intimate touch. I just don’t want people who have been assaulted to think they have to not want or desire intimate touch. Ion know if any of that made sense, sorry.
But some of us definitely are effected that way. I have no idea how I’ll ever trust a man after what happened to me, and I’m not even keen on hugs from friends
Love watching these type of videos and reading the comments. I’ve waited for 19 years and have been with the same man for seven years now. It’s so worth it and I recommend waiting for the right person all the way. Patience is key. 💗
I’m about to turn 20 in a week and this comment section makes me feel comfy about not having lost it yet, like I’m not ashamed at all but it’s always nice seeing you’re not alone
i’m 28 and i’ve never been kissed yet. in high school, guys were so immature and i didn’t want to be a name a guy would add to his list of hook ups. after that, i never socialized much outside of work, so it just never happened
I can relate with the white lie, I hate when people define you by how sexually actively you are. 🤦🏽♀️ I’m so ashamed talking about it, I just avoid the question or pretend to be having a blast.
For us women it's not the idea, feeling anxious, or nervous about it really it's just a concerned or worry how guys think about us in that moment if their gonna be in aggressive or a gentleman at our feelings.
I totally understand you, while the "act" itself is physical, it also involves emotions. Personally, for me, there is the fear of being objectified, of being disregarded as a person and simply used for another's own pleasure and then discarded or even worse, be a plaything, some people don't care and even like it, but I simply can't choose this deep aversion of mine.
I'm an adult virgin because I was very shy and raised to have strict Christian morals. Feels too late to change that now, but maybe I can find some lady to convince! Thank you Jubilee for not shaming us sexless people out there.
i am 21 and i am a virgin cause i don’t feel comfortable with my own body, and i am afraid that the other person might laugh at it. Also i fear the fact that it might hurt and the awkardness after it :(
I'm 21 and maybe I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, but due to mental problems, eating disorders, withdrawal, things develop that are often beyond our control. I don't know when I'll have my first, nobody knows. I feel very lonely, but it's not about sexuality, but about to be close to someone.
I'm a 19year old virgin and people always think that it's so weird when I tell them, especially since I don't have any "valid" reason for it (I'm not asexual, gay or waiting for marriage). I feel very understood by this video, most of those people weren't the typical shy, awkward virgin stereotype and they all had different reasons or experiences, which is something I really like
I love what the girl said about knowing it’s going to be awkward....but being with someone who makes you feel so comfortable that you laugh off the awkwardness. Exactly what I want.
I was a virgin until I married my husband. I was 22, almost 23 years old. I can absolutely relate to these individuals on almost every level. That is your body and no one lives it, except for you. You continue to respect yourself and your beliefs or whatever reason you have. As casual as society makes it now days, it shouldn't be. That's giving the other person a huge part of your self. It is very intimate. And I'm not saying intimate in a romance way (even though it can be that mood if desired) but it's intimate in what you're sharing. No shame at all in waiting. B patient and hold your ground. You'll be so glad you did and waited for the right one to come along. It is worth the wait and as long as it's the right one....it will be amazing. You two will perfect it. Not right away. That takes time, but the practice makes perfect!
Please, make more videos with the same questions, so there is an even wider range of answers (questions for men, questions for women, for virgins, etc.). They are so interesting, educational. Thank you!
Well I disagree Jimmy. Sex should be what you want it to be. Wholesome and loving with your life partner, or a hot passionate one night stand with a stranger. It doesn't need labeling into little packages. Do what makes you happy. Mind your own business about what others are doing.
I’m 23 now, but when I was 20 I was going back to my house in a train with a new friend and a classmate from college, and this classmate (she’s a girl and I’m also one) asked me if I was a virgin. Like, why??? And because the train was dead silence I lied and said I wasn’t, she started asking me with who and when because she didn’t imagine me having sex. And I just kept lying while trying to change de subject. A few days later the same theme comes up with my group of friends at college (it was my first year and we were still all getting to know each other). This girl asked each of us if we were virgins, I wanted to say that YES I WAS but this other friend from the train was there so I had to lie again, because I was so embarrassed of explaining that I had previously lied. I just said that it was with a guy from highschool that I didn’t even care about. THE BIGGEST LIE. I would never sleep with just anybody. I felt SO TERRIBLE afterwards, three years later and I still feel guilty and yeah, I’m still a virgin. The reason I lied in the first place was because this classmate from the train did not know how to keep a secret, and I knew that if I had told her, everyone would had found out.
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm 23 yo girl I'm proud to be virgin i just give it to my future husband my only love. So if someone try to mocking me bcse virginity i will said out loud that I'M VIRGIN, so what your problem with that.?
I'm still trying to figure out why people are so obsessed with someone being a sexually actuve or not? I've always been been confused about that. I don't ask my friends what they have going on and vice versa. If they mention it then so be it.
It's modern society thinking they have the right to know everything and be judgemental while they are at it. The only time anyone should be concerned or curious is if they think the other person is in danger.
Same here. I feel like I might want to try sex someday, if it's with someone I trust, just to say I tried it. But I have very little interest in it now
I'm still a virgin. I've kissed a couple girls but there's only been one opportunity for me... and I'm 27 now 🙈. My mates are more concerned about it than I am at this point. 🤣
Yea Ngl I’m in the same boat, in my twenties no kiss, no sex, societal and peer pressure. Losing it to someone where you both love each other is how it should happen tbh.
Hot tip for everyone out there who is a virgin and feels pressured to lie about it to friends: "A lady never kisses and tells." *flirtatious wink*. Or for a more gender-neutral option, "I don't kiss and tell." Best way to end the conversation in a playful manner without ever having to lie, and whilst maintaining some frame of mystery.
I personally don’t feel the need to be in love to have sex but I just haven’t found someone I’m comfortable enough to be that exposed. I don’t see myself having sex with a guy mostly because I’m not sexually attracted to men but just thinking about having sex with a girl kinda freaks me out both on a good and a bad way... I’m hopeless, I know. And it doesn’t help that I have the biggest crush on dianna agron
the comment section makes me breath a sigh of relief seeing I’m not the only virgin pushing 30. Society makes us believe there’s something wrong with us, it can get really heavy sometimes cause you can’t help but question yourself sometimes. But this video and the comments are amazing and very helpful. THANK YOU to everyone ❤️
You're fine buddy. There are much more inexperienced people than you think. Because since society and people shame those who lack experience, the latters are lying about it.
I feel like it’s pressuring to lose it now, everyone is like “omg have you had it yettt😍😍” or “brooo it was so good I can’t wait for you to experience it” and it’s just kinda annoying that people kinda want me to rush to it, I’m scared to do it but I want it to happen. I just don’t want to regret it I guess
Yes, same. Now everyone wants me to install tinder xD Every acomplishment I do is like "wow, look at you now! If you got tinder imagine how many guys would be into you". And I'm like "yeah, I'm happy for my improvement too, but make it about me, not about guys" xD
the only scary thing for me is once it happens, does the person i love think of me less incase i did something wrong or some stuff like that? i want it to naturally happen but at the same time i dont want it to happen
To the girl saying she wants satin sheets, candles, and rose petals: you deserve to be with someone who would go out of their way to give you that and make you feel comfortable. Don't settle for less.
@@sechabatheletsane9784 That woman sounded like she has high needs and not everyone's like that. There are people who want to do it once a week with the lights out and that's ok, but being mismatched in that area means someone's going to be unhappy.
