Steven, I think I speak for all of us when I say that it is an absolute HONOR to be entrusted to share this journey with you. While some may think it’s too transparent, or over sharing, I think it’s just an incredible testament of the trust you show in us as your subscribers/friends. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to share in the precious memories you hold. We will always be here to show our love and support to you through everything!
I can't tell you how moved I was when you said that you probably would not have been able to do this without us. What a privilege that you chose to share this deeply private experience with us. I wish we could have been there, physically with you. I'm so happy that you could do this and find what you obviously needed, closure of a kind, I imagine. We are your friends, and we love you.
Never apologize for loving someone so much that your pain of missing them grips you. It is healthy to allow yourself to go through it. It is the only way to move forward.❤ Please let us be your family; you are not alone.
I’ve told you this before 😉 you may not believe in G. O. D. but He believes in you😘. Look how far you’ve come. What a beautiful memorable trip. Honoring Mark and your grandparents. Praying it brings you the peace and comfort you so deserve. Fly safe.
Sounded like you and Mark were partners in crime. I’m sure he’s smiling down on you and knows he’s not far from your thoughts. I bet you were the best brother ever! I couldn’t keep my eyes dry watching this. It really tugged at my heart strings.
We are blessed that you took us on this so emotional journey with you. Even if it has been 44 years ago, it’s still a bruise on your heart. Never apologize for your emotions. Sending hugs and know that you are not alone.
Steven, it took immense courage to return to the place of such heartache and pain. We are here for you to listen and learn if we need to. You’re a very special person and I’m positive you’re brother would be so proud 🥲❤️
Thank you so much, Steven, for sharing this heartfelt and beautiful tribute to your brother, Mark. No apologies are necessary, because you were speaking your truth regarding Mark's death and the impact that it has made on your life. I am grateful that you allowed us to share this intimate journey with you.
1111 sign that angels are near: that’s the length of your video. Dude he was with you no doubt!! I’m going to watch later when I have time, but wanted to let you know, he’s around you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for trusting us with this. I really appreciate your sharing what makes you the Steven we love. I will watch this but probably in tiny segments over a few weeks. So thank you for the warning. Stay safe x h
Steve , I just wanted to tell you that , I was very touched by the detail that you had with your brother when you buried the acorn. That was really beautiful.
Oh Steven, my heart went out to you when you were visiting the site of your young brother's untimely death! Thank you for sharing your precious memories with us. Since you're not forcing anyone to watch your channel, please don't apologize for any of its content.
Dear Steven, my heart reaches out to you, and you went to painful and sweet memories that most people would never go to. Let my hugs envelop you and bring some peace. I think you needed to go to go there. Thank you for sharing those memories. Glad you are getting comfort and peace by sharing with your virtual family. You are loved. 🌎✨🎶
Dear Steven, he will always be with you. Every time you think of him he comes close to you. He listens to you. He is pure light due to the age that is passed away. I think that revisiting the place where this tragedy happened will bring closure to your grief. We will be here for you any time you need. Love you!
Thankyou for sharing this touching Journey with us Steven. 💟 Mark would have been there with you in spirit and I bet he would be so proud of you. Big hugs.
I’m the worst at expressing things and apologize in advance for being awkward. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hurt for you that you have missed Mark for so long.
Hi Steven. I can completely relate. I lost my Grandmother at age 15. She too was a victim of a tragic murder. It's so difficult because it happens so suddenly. I think about her every day. I'm glad you went there.
Grief never completely goes away when someone you love has died....no matter how many decades pass; what changes is that it gets easier to accept while not overwhelming you in the same it did, and for as long as it did, in the early stages of your grief. Glad the trip back to celebrate your love for/relationship with your brother was cathartic for you. Maybe that gorgeous spring day was your brother's way of making sure you knew that he knew you were there to "be" with him, and to show you how much he still loves and misses you.
I was crying with you! I’m so glad you went... you needed to do it...I think covid has made a lot of people take a look at what is important in life. You were never alone after your family died... they were there in spirit with you. I just wanted to give you a hug! 🤗🤗
Thank you for taking us on a very personal trip. I do remember when your Mom died and you were going through the box of pictures. Crying is a release, losing someone will always stay with you. It was not your fault, you were just a little boy too. Your long time viewers are giving you a big warm virtual hug 🤗. ❤️. Di
We love your "transparency" what you see is what you get, this is me, who I am nothing more, take it or leave it attitude and we love you for it.....P.s a whole hour of you? awesomeness, YAYYYYYY ❤❤❤ Let's goooooo.....
You look amazing in the intro of this video!! Thank you for allowing us to share this very personal journey with you. I’m glad it brought you peace. I understand what it feels like to be the last one left standing. I’m not close to my family, but as each one passes, it rattles me somehow to be left behind. It feels like a form of abandonment. You have such beautiful memories of your brother. Hold them close and speak to him often. I am positive they hear us!
Steven I am glad you were able to make the trip. Emotion and loss have no time frame so don't apologize for sharing your feelings or crying. My husband was 14 when his brother died. It has been 50 yrs and he still misses him greatly and cries. Many hugs and love being sent your way.
Steven….beautiful video. Thank you. You have an amazing memory and are a wonderful story teller. I’m the last one standing in my family. It’s so strange isn’t it? We witnessed a little girl get run over in a parking lot. A pure accident. It was horrific. I still get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I’m in that parking lot. And we didn’t even know the little girl. Still sobering to this day. Her father’s anguish is forever embedded in my memory. And yet, people move on. People come and go in that parking lot not knowing what terrible thing happened there. Thank you for always being vulnerable with sharing your life experiences. It makes it easier for the rest of us to do the same. All the best. From south of Houston.
Oh my gosh, that was heart wrenching! No eight year old should ever have had to go through something so horrendous! If I could have, I would tell that little boy that as tough as life could be at times, he would grow up to me an amazing man with a heart bigger than Texas. I am so glad that you felt a sense of peace in laying some of your pain to rest. You deserve it!! Thank you for taking us with you, and you are right, I am sure there were a lot of boxes of Kleenex being used whilst listening to your story. I bet hugging your cats when you got home felt wonderful:)
Thank you for opening your heart to us and sharing your story. I remember hearing about Mark when you shared the story of your recovery and I was (and still am) powerfully moved... Sending love and hugs from NYC to you. ❤️❤️❤️
I've been one of your long time subscribers but on the quiet side of posting. This video touched my heart so deeply...perhaps bc I have a 5 and 3 year old boys and they are very close. I had to stop and start a few times to wipe away tears. You are a blessing to those around you near and far. Mark and your family are in your heart and it's a privilege that you are sharing this private space with us.
Idk if it’s just me or anyone in which has had a traumatic childhood.... I now cry at the drop of a dime. I cried with ya! Oh the irony of you & your brother making airplanes & now you work on them. He’s smiling for sure.
I cried right along with you. You are definitely not alone. I am sorry for Mark and all that you and your family had to endure given such a tragic event.
What an honour Steven, Thank you for sharing such a special vlog with us though extremely heartbreaking to watch at times I wanted to hug you and be there in person with you, you and your brother had some special memories which was beautiful. Always remember we are all your family my sweet friend, don't ever feel alone. Xx 💕😉xx
I found this today. Lovely tribute to your brother. I found his info on Find a Grave--obituary, headstone with grandparents. You were a child--it's not your fault. I wish for you peace in your heart and mind. Since you made this, you have found more family in Vegas.
It took me a good 24 hrs to write this to you. I know what it feels like to lose a sibling at a young age. I thank you for letting me go with you. We don’t have a place to visit my sister. She donated her body to lupus foundation. But I have her memories. I cried with you. It’s good to cry. I truly believe they are with us each day. I talk to her even after 30 years. Nothing wrong with that Thank you for taking me along
Thanks for trusting us to share your journey. You never get over a loss, you learn to live with it...or at least you try. Some days are so much harder than others. Glad you were able come home! Sending you a big hug and lots of love. ❤️ Yes the roads are ridiculous, hence why we’re called Massholes! 🤣
It looks like you’ve come full circle. I hope your visit gave you some sense of comfort from the pain. Never apologize for shedding tears over your brother. Tears are liquid love. You can never fully understand why a tragedy like that ever happens. It wasn’t your fault. There was no way you could have known that the truck would back up onto the sidewalk or anything you could have done to stop it. I hope you have a sense that Mark is always still with you in a way, in your mind and heart. I think he’d be very proud of the person that you’ve become.
What a touching video Steven, what a great tribute to your brother who will never be forgotten. It's interesting that you made this video, I was just talking to a cousin the other day about my grandparents and other people who have passed and who I cared about and my cousin was like oh they're gone who cares and it really pissed me off. Our loved ones may be gone but they shouldn't be forgotten I talk about my Great Grandparent and Grandparents all the time because I have so many wonderful memories. Your brother passed so young and in a tragic way but you honor him each and every day and with this trip, I am glad you went and that you shared it with your followers on RU-vid. Your brother knows you loved him I don't know how he knows but he does. You should be very proud of your life and all that you have gone through to be where you are today. Much love to you. Regards Todd
Thank you Steven for taking us along with you, I feel honoured that you shared this with us. I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug you. This terrible tragedy was not your fault in any way! Keeping the acorns to feed the squirrels during winter was so sweet and I'm so glad that you found some to take home with you. I hope that this trip was cathartic for you and remember that you are not alone - you have all of us!
Thank you so much sweetie for sharing such an intimate moment of your life with all of us . You do not have to apologies please , no apologies are necessary . I also lost my brother seven years ago and I know exactly how it feels . I watched the video and I cried with you , you're not along , you're not along , we are your family if you let us be . It was such a beautiful tribute to your brother and I am sure that he's with you as well as your mom . One of the things that I learned when I studied Psychology was that you never , never hold it in , let it out , talk about it and you'll see how well you're going to feel . Never hold it in because when we do it , it only ends up in a cancer or a heart attack . Do not feel guilty because it was not your fault only God knows why things happen . We might not understand it at the moment but only time will let you know why . Take care sweetie , stay safe , be well and flight safe . Just remember , you're not along , we are here with and for you . Hugs and kisses , kisses to the babies and you have a bless night !!!
I am touched by what everyone here has said. I agree with their words of care. We consider you a friend and we all love you. The story of collecting acorns for the squirrels during winter is so fitting for you. And when talking about saying sorry, I thought about the poor guys who caused the accident. They surely must have lived their lives carrying the trauma too. And what a brave thing for a big brother to think quick and run to the fire station. Thank you for sharing. Even in this very sad video I found you could make me smile.❤️ Oh, and that loud rooster was probably announcing to the neighborhood that someone special was visiting!
I loved this video because we were able to see you through this difficult journey from the trip to Boston to the trip back and you sharing your memories good and bad. I hope it was therapeutic for you. Thank you for posting and sharing it with us. We love you Steven ❤️
Oh sweet friend! I know it is hard. My heart hurts for you. We are listening! Thank you for sharing! I am glad you went there. Sending virtual hugs! Tears are good, they help heal! Friend, I know what you said about your family, but you have over 5000 family members who love you and we love you so much!! We are here! Steven, dear, it was not your fault!
I'm proud that you went to Providence. Also need to point out that Providence means divine guidance or care. I think Mark has been watching over you all these years
Thank you for sharing Mark's story with us, I'm so sorry you had to experience this at 8 years old. I felt so much compassion for you during this video, and I'm happy you were able to take these steps in your healing journey.
thank you for trusting us enough to share the most vulnerable aspects of your life & your processing these traumatic events in your life. Many blessings for continued healing 🌸 we truly appreciate you and sharing your journey here. I always start crying with you when you cry. . It’s not at all torture watching you, it’s beautiful to witness your courage in processing your past. The world heals when we heal.🌺
😘😢Steven, the magic is ALWAYS with you and so is Mark. I wanted to jump right into the screen and hold your hand while you relived that terrible day. I’m glad you found a sense of peace. You will never “get over” the loss of your brother but I’m glad you spent the time and money to do this trip. If you have to pick up trips every day in May to pay for it, it was well worth it. Now I hope you are home and have planted that acorn. Not sure how well an oak tree will do in Vegas but you might as well give it a go. Give the cats lots of love as they will feel your emotions acutely. Stay safe.
Thank you for sharing this day. I truly believe your brother has been by your side all these years even if you cannot see him. I don’t think anyone could go back after all those years and not have a good cry. I am glad that this has given you peace. I said a few prayers for Mark and your family as you were sitting by the grave. Love & Hugs
Thank you for sharing this touching and memorable journey with us. You inspire me to move forward positively despite the many curveballs in life. Thank you! 🤍 Your brother would be so proud of you and if there is anything to forgive, I am certain you have been forgiven. May his bright light continue to shine on you.
I found you because of your denture video, I had 16 extractions this past week and you have helped me. I also spent many hours each week at goodwill after my divorce. I am 55, single and successful and I enjoy all your videos. Thank you for your help and information and positive attitude AlWAYS!🙏🏼😘
Related? Maybe. Sometimes when I’m out and about, usually on walks, I think about what would a 17 or 18 or 22 year old Dan would tell me, the 55 year old Dan if I met him on a walk. Advice, thoughts, feelings that I’d forgotten. I wonder if other people are like that, too. I’m glad for you that you took this journey, Steven. I know how places that are pivotal in my own life. I remember being in the car when my sister called me about my Dad’s passing. I think I’ll always remember where I was when that happened.
No matter how old we are, revisiting things that have hurt us, things that have made us grow, things that we don't and didn't understand are growth producing and make us cry , think and pray. It takes courage to confront our past and put those thoughts and hurts in a different place in our hearts and minds. My heart goes out to you. You were little boys playing, and your brother died. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I pray your acorn grows and gives you hope.
Hi Steven Thanks for sharing that video very heartfelt I’m very sorry for the loss of your Mom and your brother how awful 😞 it was nice to see Boston again living in NH I don’t get down that way as much anymore I loved that shirt on you at the beginning of the video you looked very nice!
Dear Steven, I am sending you a warm hug and I count myself between many of your subscribers that would have loved to be there with you in person so you wouldn't feel alone. However, I believe that your brother's spirit is with you all the time and he loves you and nothing of what happened was your fault. Thank you for sharing this video and no apologies are necessary, it would be hard to believe that someone would leave you a negative comment for just being yourself, for having the courage to go back to the place that has such sad memories. May your heart finally find closure and peace to close that chapter on your life about your brother's story... you are an amazing human being and you deserve love. Thank you for all your videos, for sharing your experiences in life, and for taking us with you along the ride.
Oh Steven my heart is breaking for you. Such an emotional journey but I’m so happy you found some inner peace. I’m sure your brother Mark was there with you in spirit and doesn’t blame you for anything. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Sending big hugs ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so so sorry you had to go through such a tragic loss love. You are so strong for being able to visit your old home and share with us your story. Continue to cherish those beautiful memories of you and your brother. He will always be with you dear. Good luck with your acorn tree! P.S. I love your hat. Much much love for the support. I watch your videos all the time and you are such an awesome person with a beautiful spirit.
I know you have shared bits of this story over time here on your channel. It is heartbreaking for you to have gone through this, but feel free to over share. You have won our hearts and we care about you! I believe we have seen you grow as you’ve shared and peeled back the layers so to speak. You are a beautiful soul Steven. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother, but hoping you can hang on to the good moments with him. 🤗🤗❤️❤️
What I appreciate is your are this loving informative person who is unapologetically you. When you have someone who can be so open sharing and loving there is nothing wrong.
Finally watched and he is consciously aware of how much you love him. Love never dies. (I feel my mom with me all of the time) So glad you got there. And more importantly so glad we are with you. You are so loved by us. I’m happy you know we are with you. Crying washes some of the grief away so it’s good and even healthy. Love you so much!
First of all, you look FABULOUS in the intro part of this video. I'm getting into it now, even though I know a lot of this journey of yours. Thank you for sharing YOU!! Much love!
Oh, Steven, I don't know what type of people are watching your videos but THIS person watches your channel FOR your very heartfelt videos. The ones you consider oversharing I consider simply.....sharing. (I think the person who coined the term "oversharing" should be smacked. So offensive telling someone they are sharing too much. Oversharing isn't a thing. Sharing with the wrong person is.) I so understand needing to visit the place that a trauma occurred. And SO relate to it being the place where your life changed forever. Mark wasn't the only one who died that day. The Steven you were, died too. I think our brains get stuck in a loop of forever trying to make sense out of something that we can never understand because it doesn't make any sense. Like part of our brain is frozen in shock for all time. My heart breaks for the fact that you had to grow up without your brother Steven. By yourself. To never know what your life would have been. Or his. I'm sure you've often wondered how much that loss contributed to the challenges you've had to overcome in your life. The survivor guilt. The guilt you must have instantly felt (undeserved but you were too young to know) just being the big brother and being so young. And that tree. My heart stopped thinking about you watching that happen to your fragile, small baby brother. I can't imagine the horror and fear you had to have felt. You were just a little boy! To witness something so horrific. There are no words. There's no way you could have escaped that experience without carrying all of that trauma and guilt deep inside all these years. So I'm so glad you said you were sorry to Mark. That you released yourself of it. You could feel it in you when you would talk about certain things. I'm so happy you were able to cleanse yourself of it. To get that huge boulder off of your back. I loved the shingle story. Making things fly even before the paper airplanes. :) And the acorns. Oh my, how sweet and kind to want to feed the squirrels. Two kind, fragile, beautiful boys. What a beautiful memory. Thank you Steven. For sharing this. I feel humbled and honored to have seen and heard this part of your story. I understand the courage it took to revisit this place. The conflicting feelings of trauma but also feeling closer to Mark. So I'm proud of you. And I'm touched and heartened and so grateful to 'know' you.
Steven, I just love you. I am going for my f2f interview soon, as I got to your channel with the flight attendant videos…. But you are amazing, and so strong. I enjoy your content & Mark loves you ❤ and he hears you. I appreciate your real down to earth transparency & he would be so proud of the person you are. Keep healing, loving, & being authentically you! ❤❤❤ lots of hugs!!!!
I'm glad we could keep you company on your emotional journey. It seems like the day was very helpful to you. I hope you know you are not alone, we are here with you. 🤗 You reminded me of a forgotten memory from 45ish years ago. We had a small field/park behind our house and one year I, my brother, and our friend next door gathered a paper bag full of acorns so we could feed the squirrels in winter. LOL. I don't remember what happened to the acorns so I'm just going to assume they got them.😁 Thanks for giving me back a snapshot of my childhood.
xoxo it takes what it takes. its a lifetime of grief. Big hugs friend!! We are with you! We love you thank you for your transparency and your honesty!!!!
Yes rental car prices are through the roof because they sold off so many cars during the pandemic. I've had to wait in line for hours to get some of them with staffing and car shortages -at DTW they were announcing the cars that became available over the loudspeaker saying "will anyone take a minivan?"-third world at best😂. Thank you for sharing and so very sorry for your loss of your brother. So true that a single event can change everything in your life going forward. Again, my heart goes out to you for your terrible loss. 🤗❤️
Oh my God, the houses remind me of where I grew up in Everett, MA. We lived on the top floor and my godmother and godfather lived in the 2nd floor. I am so sorry something so terrible happened to Mark (and you saw). My God. Thank you for sharing this important and tragic part of your life with us. ❤ I keep putting it off, but one day I’m going to take my mom’s ashes to spread them in the place my grandfather is buried in Medford (MA). One day.
I'm so sorry Steven that you lost your brother at such a young age...I too have lost my brother a different situation but believe that God had a plan and needed him more. Wishing you a blessed day.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Yes I cried with you, I laughed at your acorn story and smiled at you both crushing rocks and pretending to be cavemen! Your walk around the area your brother was so tragically was taken from you had me riveted. How wonderful you had the opportunity to go back and start coating that little piece of grit in your heart with love and healing. You were not alone while you were there. A female was humming a song 20:48 - 21:11 while you were in front of the houses where Marc was killed. at 31:08 a female singsongy says "when, you are the only people....at 31:20 she says "sweet thing" after you said you felt like you should talk to someone. When you went to the car, they really got chatty, after you said you had a good cry I heard "cry" 34:30, you said you talked to higher power and Mark I heard "Marks here" 34:36 and "what do you ?? couldnt hear the rest because you added "and grandma", at 34:38 "he's all by himself" I don't want to intrude on your experience but thought you might be comforted knowing they were listening, I heard no other voices after you left the site. Slow the video to .25 and you can hear them yourself. xxxx- I bet he loved the acorn cap!
It took me quite a while to get through this video because every time I see you cry it just breaks my heart in 1 million pieces I personally love the fact that you over share it makes you seem like I’m talking to a dear friend ( which in my head we are lol) and you’re just so authentic and a lot of people appreciate that I’m one of them I’m glad you got to visit the place where your brother transcended I feel with something that you needed in order to get closure it pains me to think that you have any guilt towards it but I can understand why but I’m glad that you were able to say that you were sorry because it seems like that gave you some closure how awesome would it be if you planted those acorns in your backyard and a tree grew what a beautiful reminder that you would have every day of your beloved brother continue to give yourself grace in all things oh and I’m happy to see you got your first dose of the Moderna vaccine( saw your FB post) watch out for that second dose though my husband and I had chills and body aches and we’re exhausted so make sure when you schedule your second one that you have a day off because trust me you’re gonna need it continue to be safe be well and be blessed💜
