Truth is, some of our ppl really do put a stain on our collective image but while they're following us around the store, Karen is in the next aisle with half the store in her purse 👀. And the judgement and side eye is coming from folks who have literally stolen human beings, cultures and lands.
I disagree with that last statement, ascribing the sins of one’s ancestors to their present self is wrong, they had nothing to do with those decisions. Also white people aren’t the only ones to have stolen human beings, lands and culture, almost every race has done it, I’m from west Africa and it’s STILL being done. Humans by nature are not good, it takes God to make us good. A man is defined by character not by what his forefathers have done. With that being said extend a little grace.
I am from New York and definitely can relate. I live in Long Island Suffolk county and I went to Target and a Karen racial profiled me. I went to self checkout and she literally took my items from my hand and started ringing them up. She made it clear she wanted me out of the store. It was so bad the manager told me to reach out to corporate which I did. I’m not sure if something happened but I refuse to go back to that store.
Yes, definitely happens more often than not. I just try to change my mindset and know that as long as I’m doing right I have nothing to worry about. We belong just as much as anyone else and I’m not about to prove myself to no one but God. Other people’s thoughts/opinions have nothing to do with me. Love your vlogs. You’re my fav❤
I’m glad you brought that up about the stigma with black folk and it’s honestly sooooo sad I literally get anxiety shopping in person and so I rarely do it There’s a target on Jamaica Ave if y’all from nyc I literally went in to do a return which I also try to NEVER do and the under cover security guard stood by the register literally looked at my screen n card no shame I’m like wow and I was dressed cute in my lil lulu lemon outfit but still got watched!!! Wow so sad
Your not alone on this. This happens all the time. I don't get mad anymore I just film myself with my kids as I shop. If there's an issue I have evidence for my own records to protect my kids and I. Thanks for sharing love the vlogs. Lea looks so cute in her white dress. Stay blessed
I'm going to be moving into my first apartment in the next month or so and there is so much stuff I want. I am obsessed with glassware (cups, pitchers, straws etc,) I just feel it gives a simple, but yet pretty glam look. Your baby girl looks so cute in her outfit she seems so comfortable in front of the camera. I totally get how you felt about the tips I've experienced this especially in Wal-Mart. I feel like we have to get to a point where we understand that we deserve what we worked hard for. For me I always downplay my achievements or if I'm in a store and an employee is constantly looking I'm making sure everything is seen. A solution for this may be to allow yourself the things you've worked hard for. You worked hard for those tips, so you are deserving of ALL of them. As long as you remain polite, understanding and calm in those situations you are doing nothing wrong.
I think majority of black people feel that way about walking into a store and being looked at or followed bc it happens often unfortunately. Even though I LOVE Target, I always feel like I’m being followed. When I used to Shipt, I saw first hand the loss prevention team following people bc I was there so much so I knew them. They were dressed down and always wore baseball caps. Now when I’m in there, I can almost tell just by how they fake shop and follow. It makes shopping so uncomfortable! Like, it’s sad that I can’t go and spend my money in peace 🤦🏾♀️
I was going through this recently but I honestly feel honored now that people devote their time to watching me. Sometimes I do things on purpose while they are watching me, it is very funny. I try to to let it get to me because I believe that it’s an illness in the brain. You are beautiful as well so they might be in disbelief❣️
That's so interesting having someone verbalize that feeling of wanting to prove you're not what people expect you to be. Self-awareness was the first step for me then my version of positive self talk. I just think "forget these people, I have as much of a right to be here as they do if not moreso". A lot of times I realize I'm projecting and no one is thinking about me lol.
Lol! You’re right! No one has said anything to me directly but I just have this weird feeling in certain settings.. it definitely runs deeper than the surface for sure
Honestly, lately when I’m being followed around the store… I ask to see the manager. Deadass serious! I hate it and it’s literally an insult. I work too freaking hard. 🙄 Edit: I’ve learned to be more verbal and speak out when I feel targeted. When I say that I’m a frequent shopper at a certain store and say I feel targeted to the manager, they do all they can to make up. SMH sad but TRUE. Find your inner (legitimate and factual) Karen. 😂💁🏽♀️
Great vlog! Per usual 😊 I just wanted to submit to you that this is probably not the first time they have had descreps with the tips. They "may" do this from time to time. But some may not have the courage to question it. Don't turn this inward. Put the freaking flashlight on THEM! They owe you a proper explanation. You are a brilliant black beautiful queen!! They see that. They may not admit it.... But they see. Love you ❤❤
Happy Solar Return to your Beautiful Daughter (Laya/Leigh) On the closing of your video my thoughts are the same as well. But I was thinking until “we” stop doing certain things* to each other/one another, they*{whomever “they” are-because sometimes it’s your own people)will always look at us* sideways. We* must treat each other better too. Because if “others” see us* doing, sometimes they’ll do it based on “well they do it to each other so” Just be you & address it when it’s needed and keep your integrity Luv Ya #Bombshell 🥂 Yo all my #SeaShells & #Bombshells 💫
girl I completely agree with you having to prove that your not a "typical" black person , its so annoying. I hate when your in a shop and they following you around or looking at you then they pretend that they aint but its so obvious. enjoyed the vlog 💕💖❤
Hey Queen!! So glad you’ve posted!! You’ve brought up a great topic. You are not alone in feeling that way in the work place or when you are shopping. Me and my husband have felt that way too. Ignorance is real. How I deal with the behavior depends on the situation, my mood, (like do I feel like making this a teachable moment and educating you?), if I have my two daughters (because as I’m educating the ignorance I’m educating them as well in the moment while also keeping them safe), how much time i have, etc. How my mood is also determines how I digest the ignorance. If I’m already in a foul mood the situation of ignorance lingers and affects my foul mood but if I’m in a good mood and happy I can just brush the ignorance off. On another note you have beautiful clear skin! ❤
Oh Shelly..where to begin? Lol I'm actually not going to make it super long but I think the majority of black ppl feel this way and I deal with this all the time at work. Now that I've been there a lil while it's not as bad but I feel like I'm just going to stop overly proving myself bc we shouldn't have to in the first place but it kinda brings it on even more sometimes but overcoming that feeling...Sadly I don't feel like it's going to go anywhere.
I definitely use to feel the same way you feel when entering into stores but, my friend taught me a valuable lesson one day when we were walking. Normally I would move out of the way to let a white person pass so that they would feel comfortable and know I’m friendly but my girl friend did not move and she kept walking and the other person had to go around as they should have. They we’re definitely surprised. I asked her why didn’t she move. She stated that she is entitled to the same respect and liberties that they are and she shouldn’t have to move to make someone feel comfortable. It’s their problem if they feel uncomfortable because I haven’t done anything to give them any sort of impression. After that I chose the same for myself. I don’t move out of the way. I don’t smile if I don’t feel like it (sometimes I still struggle with that). And if someone is following me and watching me I speak up and don’t let it slide. I’m quick to ask “yes or can I help you?” now. My white boss told me that I needed to learn “to not ask for permission but to ask for forgiveness later”. He said that got him far in life.
I completely understand, I feel that way when I eat out, if my food isn’t right I hate to complain and bring it to management because I don’t want it to seem as if I can’t afford to pay or just want to complain. But I started to realize that I am a customer and if my food isn’t to my expectations I should say something because why pay for something I don’t like?!
You’re not alone. I’m the same way, I still walk up to the front of the store when I bring a bag in from a different store to see if they need to hold it. Just to prove that I’m not trying to take anything.
My bombshell 💣 💣💣🥰 That middle parting is 🔥🔥🔥 Laya is so funny and cute not cut and action please I like her too much 😂😂😂😂😂 That black stigma really gets you uncomfortable even worse when you need to prove something, I get uncomfortable even when asked if I’m window shopping and they approach me to ask if I needed help It’s wild really… I appreciate you my Bombshell 💗❤️ You are so gorgeous 👌🏽
I’ve always had that feeling going into beauty stores. I notice I’m not greeted or offered help but someone is always laying eyes on me and if I am offered help it’s always in a rushed manner to quickly get me out the store and it sucks because I enjoy shopping and taking my time in stores and trying different things but I have to always have a list beforehand so I’m in and out quickly. And I’ve never been approached and accused of stealing but the subtle looks make it worse because it’s so uncomfortable.
The princess is back!!!! Haven't even watched yet but I know it's gonna be a good one! Hope Laya had an amazing birthday - my fellow taurus baby girl! ❤
I use to feel like that also always feeling like I had to go the extra mile until I realized people are going to feel how they feel regardless of how I treat them, and it's not black peoples responsibility to make everyone feel comfortable around us. Now I am a naturally nice person, so I'm going to handle everyone with kindness and respect, but that's their problem, not ours.
those studio type places are so annoying when you have to cancel. orange theory tried everything to get me to stay. geeez. oan Happy birthday🎉🎉Laya. so glad to see you grace these youtube streets, i kept refreshing and saying where is Shelly.
😂😂😂 when Shelly said she only wears ripped jeans, hoodies n sweatpants.....you sound like my mom n I'm 28 n she still tries to get me in dresses n when I do she always wanna tear up....such a cute moment
Love homemade yogurt bowls. Baby giel outfits are perfect for her. And you look great! Hope I run into you this summer. 😊 Oh yeah you have me addicted to thst Blueberry Almond milk from Trader's Joe.😢 i have been looking for a braider here too.
Omg my daughters birthday is May 17th as well! This year was her golden year. She turned 17 on the 17th 🎉 Happy Birthay Layah (sorry if I missed spelled)🎉🎉
I let them think what they want and then I go to the register and pull out their store card or bust down with that card that be carding and earn their respect! But I so feel you and yes it's very sad that they think of all of us as such!
Yes I agree with you about going places and you feeling like some one is watching you. Some times I leave and go to a different store. It just depends also I might ask them what is it I don't want nothing in here to steal and I have money. 😂😂😂😂
😢It’s sad because it’s 2023 and as a race we’re still trying to prove that some of us are truly honest, reliable, responsible and hard working individuals… I find myself doing this at work as well… 🤔 Will it ever get better for us or will we have to always fight harder than everyone else…
I just came across your channel and I subscribe🎉🎉🎉. I am a single mom to one child too. Although she’s 26 now. So I love your channel for that!! But, about you over compensating to not be look at as dishonest, just stop caring. Don’t care. Because here’s the truth, they will think what they think either way. So unburden yourself and just be ❤
OMG I'm the same way thinking i have to go above and beyond to prove that i'm honest and not a crook etc too!!I used to bring in docs notes if i had an appt during the day and they would be like ' whats that? i would say a docs note and they would roll their eyes like, girl bye, we don't need that' lol. Even yesterday i thought i was going to be late returning from lunch cause i ran into traffic at a stand still and here i am recording, taking pics bout to crash my damn self texting my supe etc letting her know if i'm late this was why. She simply texted back, 'no worries, be careful' I get in my own head and overthink all the time and half the time they don't even think of ME that way although there is the stigma about us out here so i totally get it. And lets not talk about a store after you paid and your leaving out and if a sensor was left on and it goes off, OH MY GOD, u might as well pick me up off the floor then!😯😯
This is a similar situation that happened to me. The store manager was getting ready to tip me out same as you I received an unusual large tip. To make a long story short the shift manager assumed that there’s no way that someone would tip me that much so she went in and manually changed the tip and assigned it to another employee. The store manager was apologized and suspended the girl for a week without pay. Racism shows up in many different ways. I’m sure if it was the other way around I would have gotten fired for stealing from her.
I thought it was just me. I always feel awkward in certain stores like ulta and Sephora. Like I gotta make sure I’m not doing nothing strange looking 30:05
It's systemetic Trauma Sis and unfortunately Black People hold onto this both consciously and unconsciously. Thanks for talking about it because this trauma is what causes diseases, cancer and mental imbalances within the black community. Do I see a lot of healing around this with Black People stepping into their power like never before, YES! It's Ancestral Healing sis and we need to heal this out of our bodies. We are worthy to feel safe in this World. It is safe for us to be powerful and able. It is safe for us to SHOW UP.
I had the opportunity to ask my client, who is a very nice woman what does it feel like to be white? At first she dodge the ?, however I kept the question before her. Then she expressed," I feel nothing". She stated,, I come and go as I please without question. She also stated she's free to shop and go about her day. The difference is we've been taught that we don't have that luxury, through movies, life, news, etc. She knew what I was asking and she reluctantly answered, and I thanked her for her honesty. When white people commit crimes, their status is not taken away as a white person. I'm just at the point, I don't have to prove that I'm an admiral citizen and you don't either, none of our community does. Also, I believe white people don't look at the ones who commit crimes as a bad outlook on their community. They already have an excuse for their actions in crime.
Hey Shelly and everyone watching I haven't watched your video yet but I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely beautiful in your thumbnail 😊❤
I def go abbe and beyond to prove how honorable I am smh I blame the people who even put that stigma on us b/c no race or culture or ethnicity is completely bad or completely good but we get a lot of the stigma smg
You literally feel that way because of all that we’ve been through as minorities in this country especially as black women. So society is making you feel that way. It’s so unfortunate. I’m thankful that I’ve never felt that way as a black woman even though I understand it totally, I just never felt that way when I walk in to places I literally don’t give a fuck maybe that’s why. You have to understand that you belong here ,any room you walk in you belong in you’re not a visitor. 🤎🤎
