Want Gender Equality? Let's Get Creative | Kyl Myers | TEDxSaltLakeCity 

When I was four I wanted to be an archaeologist, welder or fighter pilot. I’m a 39 year old female welder and steelworker today.

I will enjoy a TEDx talk from Zoomer in 20 years.

i've studied sociology and this video is wonderful

I'm a 25 girl, unmarried, and was very happy about this until I realized the down side. It's like living far from your family - yes, you feel independent, unrestricted, and able to live for yourself. But with age, you realize that living for yourself is entertaining, but not fulfilling. You don't need to rush into marriage, and when you're married don't rush out of the marriage. But the journey of life spent with another gives you something precious that can't be bought. That companionship, even if it ends badly, is better than ending alone. When I was younger, I looked at all the divorce out there and misery and hatred between exes, and I thought “I'm not going to make some one miserable, I'm not going to spend my life with someone I hate” …well, that's like saying “I'm not going to drive a car because of all the accidents.” Thats not the answer - the answer should be to wear seatbelts, take precautions. My resolution SHOULD have been “I'm going to love my spouse, for whoever he is, and I'm going to give him my best.” Instead, I chose to live for me, and that's who I got …just me. Find someone to love, and give them your best. Like an ocean voyage, it may not last forever but at least you gave it your best shot. And there may be many perils and storms, but atleast you survived them with someone. The relationships that I've had were very special to me and I wish I had gotten married. Instead, I married my “independence”. The people that get divorced and hate each other, they didn't know how to love, they were selfish - it wasn't “marriage” that created the misery, it was their unwillingness to love each other. Love is willing to accommodate (not a reluctant willingness, but an eager willingness), even when you don't really want to. Even when there's no gain from it. Even when the other person is annoying, or stinky, or exhausting. And when you can love your spouse like that, chances are your spouse will, too. And yes, it's POSSIBLE that you might love a person who doesn't, or can't, love their spouse …and that is sad. It really is. But I'd rather go to the Olympics and fail, than never go at all. Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful and is not conceited. Love is not rude or self-seeking. I'm waiting for the right one. If you agree with what I said, then contact my whatsapp: +447901380061 I travel around the world, and my love won't be limited by district. Never Ever Part As Lovers.

STEM employers are twice as likely to hire a female as a male with the same qualifications, and pay her two to three percent more if she is single and doesn't have children. Men with children get promoted more than women with children because men with children work more hours than men without children while women with children work fewer hours than women without children.

Finally, someone who gets what I wish everyone would understand. You are a great inspiration.

So .. according to her, de-gendering the child is the solution, and not trying to convince those idiots who say "it's not for boy/girl" NOT to say those things... I'm a sad panda.

This is what usually happens with me. One side I feel is wrong, so I look at the other. And then that side brings it way to far to the point of stupidity. Sigh.

Babies aren't born "knowing who they are". They learn it. Making them guess who they are is just cruel.

I’m so confused. I’m a women and my mom never said “This isn’t for girls.” She raised me to just enjoy being a kid. I didn’t start wearing and being curious about wearing dresses til I hit puberty. If you wanna say everything’s for everyone, then don’t confuse your kid. What if they question about why they’re not invited to a girls sleepover, or not invited to boys night? What if your kids’ a girl and goes thru puberty? You’re gonna tell her that boys get a monthly thing too?? Or boys can get pregnant too, so watch out? Just let your kid be a kid and don’t purposely exclude them from activities cuz of what You want. Kids could do whatever they want. When they hit puberty is when they would for sure know what they’re gonna get themselves into. If they wanna switch, get them the surgery. Don’t leave them blind for 10+ years.

So it'll go away if we stop believing in it? This relies on the assumption that it is entirely created by us. If I stop believing in the monsters under my bed, (whether I can or not is a separate issue) then there will be only positive results from my change in belief. If I stop believing in gravity, (I have flown under my own power numerous times while dreaming) there may be some negative consequences. In a sense, this sort of thinking is its own experiment. I look forward to seeing the results.

Fun fact: there is no "he" or "she" in Turkish

I'll say this too. I think it's great to embrace your children and anything they choose to become, but I wouldn't shield them from the realities of the world. You can tell a child anything and they will believe it. You can paint a pretty picture of the world for them. When they grow up and the world punches them in the face, it will hurt a lot more, and the ability to handle the situation will diminish. I say when, because this is not and cannot be reality. Genders are physically different, so rather than reject those traits, embrace them as both genders inherently have advantages and disadvantages.

I thought the creative part was going to be encouraging women to give up their comfy office jobs and do the ditch digging, concrete pouring, roofing, and siding jobs men always do. Women have a lower center of gravity than men ... they should be great at walking slanted roofs and keeping their balance on ladders and scaffolding.

Poor Zooma is going to grow up to realise that world is not how he imagined it to be. This theory can only possibly work if everyone adopted the same practice at once and that is impossible. Odds are, even if we did, things would gradually turn out how they are now.

4:12 False

The comments on this makes so obvious how gender education and equality are so needed in the world.

In this unfair society, men die, and women don't have enough money ...

A great talk about Gender Inequality/Equality

You'll get paid less, just because you're a girl??? Really?? Be an electrician, you get paid by how much you know and you're level in the trade. All journeymen get a bottom rate and that increases as you gain experience, don't matter if you are male or female. No one stopping you, except YOU. Be who you want to be, but there are consequences - both plus and minus. We are all human but we are not all the same. If you don't like the wages you are offered, don't take the job. I don't understand this entire mindset.

The problem is not gender roles. It's in the disparity of respect given to these roles. Raising your child as a social experiment is not a good idea. Regardless of "gender performance" a child is male or female and deserves to know that or they will be confused. It's fine if a female child relates to "masculine" things more and if a male child relates to "feminine" things more, but they still deserve to know that they are male or female and what those things mean in their society. To deny your child that knowledge is, I would so far as to say, abusive. Hopefully this woman's child is intelligent enough in his/her own right to figure out their sex and gender on their own and move on from their mad parents' abusive experiment.

Have two boys and than a girl. We have tried not to treat them any different and I expected girl to take trades of broders. But NO girl is girl. Gander is not just social construction!!! But YES give them fare opportunities. It DON'T mean SAME but what they need to express their potential AND fare rewards.

When I started learning and asking about feminism and gender imposition, I was very esceptical. I believed in equality above men and women, but insisted that gender was just the way of life to achieve some kind of order and that of course, had to be defined by the biological sex. After watching this video I realized there is not an aswer to continue reproducing these ideologies. I mean, why do men and women should be treated different? Why should we have different interests and qualities to enhance? There is no answer, there is no reason.

I agree with most of your points but the one of raising a child gender neutrally. I am not talking about you raising your child but this idea. I too believe that all genders must be treated equally and that anyone can do anything they want but nature has given us with different physical traits. And that is the reality that both genders are different biologically but then also equal. So the ideal way would be to not constrain them under the gender stereotypes but teaching them that they are different but yet equal

So what bathroom will zoomer use when they’re alone?

Thank you Madam for this Honest talk Where no women or no men is criticized its all about equality.

Maybe we should let our kids discover what species they identify with most. Who are we to tell them they are humans?

Kyl Meyers is still selling that snake oil. To think U of U employs such intellectual gold 😂

50/50 with her

would have been a great talk in the nineties but very few of the examples she gives held any weight outside the US for decades.

How about we quit turning everyone into a victim of their situation.

I would love to meet the parents that paid their daughter 4 dollars and their son 5 dollars for allowance. My guess is the data sample of families just happened to show that the family with more boys gave more money to all their kids than the family with more girls. It's statements like that where the talker loses me.

gender/sex is biological and not a social construct. stop trying to insist that women and men are exactly the same. Just embrace the differences. There are things that men are generally better than women and there is things that women are better than men.

"Gender inequalities can not exist if they are not perpetuated." This presupposes that cognitive and behavioral differences between sexes are purely socially conditioned, i. e. constructed. This is factually false as any serious scientist in a relevant field (biology or psychology) can demonstrate. It is true that there are aspects of male and female stereotypes that are constructed, but what she is trying to hammer home here is that millions of years of evolution have no effect on behavior and don't matter at all. I'm also wondering how she is going to isolate her child from its peer group who may and will definitely also have an effect on its behavioral development as well as its preferences and interests.

Let kids choose their own toys and clothes - and even their own pronouns. But trust them to do so. If you wind up with a very confused child with multiple personality disorder after using plural pronouns for years don't blame anyone but yourself.

Why don't I hear women complaining about not staying behind in a disastrous situation where men would save the women and children first!? Why don't I hear women complaining about not having to take up hard physically dangerous jobs just so there would be food on the table? Why and why and why and more whys!? Bunch of spoiled women, who are pampered by hard working men, who want all the benefits without having to earn it. It's much easier to move your mouth than actually having to do the work. Let's put these them in men's shoes and make them work like men. Wait, that wont work either, they are privileged to the female standard that cuts them such slack and delusionally makes them believe them are just as good as men in all areas. Truth is, women have your strength just like men have our own. Honor it and celebrate it instead of asking to be equal in all areas unless you are ready to work yourself like a man. Learn your strength and focus on them. Why would you try to measure yourself up to someone else who has different strength than yours and when you fail, you cry out loud about not being equal!? I know I would never measure up to women in certain things in life and I am ok with that. I respect women for their uniqueness and their feminine intelligence they have to offer to the society. If any one who does not treat women equally it's your own gender, NOT MEN!!! I know more men who are willing to work for and love their ladies than women who know how to honor and love themselves.

That was good. Thank you. FTN :)

Wow! Love it!

The wage gap is a lie. There are many reasons women get paid less. They typically go into the less dangerous and stressful jobs, work overtime less of the time, and ask for raises less of the time. The study that showed women getting paid less than men classified several similar jobs together, but by no means did it compare the woman and the man doing the exact same job at the same place for the same amount of hours a day. It doesn't consider these mitigating factors at all. When these are controlled for, most employers do pay their workers the same or similar wages, with not all that much difference. There are exceptions, but most of these have other considerations to control for. Take, for instance, modeling, where women generally get paid considerably more than men because the man is getting sold on being able to date that woman and the women are getting sold on the idea of being that woman. This is where the advertisers find they benefit the most. Then take, for instance, police work or other work which requires a certain amount of strength that men are more likely to have, which results in men doing the more dangerous tasks inside the job. Men and boys are more valued than women and girls? Where is this woman living? Who is being evacuated from the ships first in her world? Who is getting sent to fight wars more in her world? Who is being put in more danger as a whole in her world? The women? No, the men's whole basis of living is to support the women. The women are the people who have the choice in the majority of their lives. You have your idea of who is valued more mixed up.

Mixing ideas is the way of constructing confussion, is the same as trying to make an acceptance culture in handycap ones instead of making science prosthetic to keep them moving forward. Most gender problems need to be treated in fetal momentum , because is there where we can treat and prevent gender dysphoria.

I love this talk, if we could get this kind of thinking to become reality we'd have a world where there are no set categories that people have to fall under from birth, it would be such free, loving society where no-one would shame non-cis gendered people or have gender roles at all, to all the people criticising her in the comments please try to see how monumentally life changing this would be for everyone. I'm not sure that you quite understand just what a free world it would be, try to think out of the box and as she said get creative!

It's like saying to a person I don't see your skin color when I see you, saying that to someone is wrong, your looks are what make you, you. We are not equal male and female are different, together we are complete .

Thank you for this talk. I thought I was open before, this split my world in half and gave me a completely different way of thinking things. What I love most about this talk is that you aren't asking men and women to be the same... you are asking them to be equal and to get creative about what equality looks like.

what a sad ted talk! 15 MINS of life lost forever.

7:20 what else could we ask? "how old is the baby?" "who is the father?"

5:30 7:06 8:23

This was great

Nonsense! It doesn't take an intelligent person to realise that there are no gender wage gap. Its the average of wage between woman and men. Its because men work harder. It is illegal to pay men more than woman. I have not seen a work place that pays men more than woman. And I dont know anyone that know such a workplace. And even if there is, then its not because its a man, but its because he's better at his job. I have also seen a woman getting paid more than a man at my workplace, and that's because she was more abled at her job, nothing to do with gender. Not goimg to bother finishing this video.

I struggle with an Eating Disorder and I'm a Male

if she truly believes this gender equality then does zoomer call her by her name and not mom. mom and dad are gender assigned names

You seriously found an objective study done on gender differences is children's allowances? The "Allowance Gap"?

there is a handfull of sexchromosome "variations" or better "defects" or "mutations" besides xx and xy. A "spectrum" is a bit different than a countable number. Or would you call EGA-Graphic (16 colors) as a "spectrum" of colors? Pls get some sanity... for Zuma atleast.

What if children can decide freely and decide like the world is today? Would you stop complaining?

Very few items that spewed from this ladies mouth I agreed with. The majority I just felt she was showing her sexist unintelligence she has conditioned herself to believe.

Great talk and a great way to view the world. And for all the negative comments below, you really are part of the problem, the scary thing is that you can't even see it.

What the hell ? ... gender as a social construct ? Yeh, right ! I used to think that once too. I was a feminist when I was young because I grew up watching my father beat my mother, and so I despised masculinity, including my own. But then I couldn't get a girlfriend ! Then I remember a tough guy said to me "You gotta understand a woman doesn't want a man who is more feminine than she is ..." The message clicked and I started to get girlfriends. These biological drives and instincts are very old and hardly anything to do with social constructs - that's BS !

I stopped at 'I'll get paid less because I'm a girl.'

I garauntee you she is one of the least happiest people you'll ever meet if you get a genuine encounter with her. this woman has errected wall to block her view from every obstacle in life.

but men ARE different. to say we're not is ridiculous. and if they're not then why can't i wear a tampon?

Lmao XD Obviously people will ask if it's a girl or boy bcoz besides that you can only ask how many is in there, are they healthy, or when they will be born, maybe the possible name choices or who the dad is, but I suppose that last one would more likely to trigger the mother than the "boy or girl" question....

So she is claiming the differences in the sexes is purely social. She is also spouting figures in isolation. An awful "scientist" and she doesn't know what she is talking about.

nothing like a social experiment on your own kid

there was a time when ted talks used to mean something.

“I’ll get paid less, just because I’m a girl”. This has been debunked so many times, it isn’t even funny. Women who do the same job, for the same amount of time, at the same skill level, make MORE than men. So can you feminists please drop this narrative and come up with another?

Apparently any ideologue can get a speech at TED talk.. And TED tries to pass as a science based talk. What a joke this TED-talk became, sad really..

I'm not going to listen to all of this, it's rubbish! Everytime someone harps on about things like women not being represented in politics, I want to point out that they're not equally represented in refuse collection, sewage works, delivery jobs, plumbing, farming etc... the list goes on and all, all the basic infrastructure of society. The only thing I agreed with is when a man notices he has something wrong, he often ignores it, until it's too late. I didn't grow up in a family like she describes. I grew up in a perfect family! :) lol My brother had a doll that was brought for him... my other brother didn't. They were both great with kids.

the pay gap is a myth.

If I (a hypothetical business owner) can pay a female less than a man, why would I ever employ men?

There is a it to take in here that I feel like a lot of people are missing. For one she makes the very important, and oft overlooked, distinction between gender and sex. There's no reason to believe that being raised without knowledge of one's own sex is the same as being raised without knowledge of their socially expected gender. And while I personally disagree with their decisions as parents and question whether a peer reviewed version of this as an experiment would pass an ethics committee, their ability as parents isn't what is this is about. It's about taking a closer look at the source of gender-based problems that have a negative impact, and potentially how to solve them. I do not assume to know all of the details of these people's personal lives, but as an open minded member of the scientific community, as presented I disapprove. But that's not to say that if I met, or was able to observe them that I couldn't be convinced otherwise, but it seems that it would be far more useful to simply raise their son as a boy and make sure that he's aware of gender-based negativity, and lead him on a path of education. Again, I'd like to emphasize that I don't know the details and that I'm only going solely from the information presented in this video, but I honestly have a bit of fear and anxiety for Zoomer in terms of his mental state during puberty, especially in terms of suicide. The sex-based gender-lens is how an individual builds an identity within the world and understands how they relate to it. I feel many of the negative outcomes highlighted in this video are largely oversimplified with the assumption that child development is something that just happens more or less the same way across all subjects. And while it's true that many of the tragic deaths of teenage suicide are due to gender identity, in that particular case, I'd wager that the birth assigned gender is far less of a problem than the child being taught that it's okay to change if they discover differently. There are so many other problems I would bet contribute more, like religious background (both familial and societal,) socio-economic factors, access to education, and on. This feels a bit like the gluten-free thing of the last few years, where "what's good for the goose is good for the gander," even though most people can eat gluten with no ill effect, yet it gets applied to masses of self diagnosed people to whom it grants no benefit or hindrance one way or the other. Most people are fine most of the time with their birth-assigned gender, it's an assumption to say otherwise. If there were some genetic testing that said otherwise, maybe. The assumption that a child (and the world) is better without an assigned gender is the worse than the assumption that assuming the childs gender based on sex will significantly impact it's life or the larger social order negatively. I'm typing this on my phone and have kind of lost a few of the points I was trying to make, so in short: I liked the talk, I'm fascinated by it, I'm interested to see what happens to Zoomer, and I think it's a positive intent and that her heart is in the right place, but poorly thought out, poorly implemented, and reckless.

and this is a typical example of junk science

superb

LOL... Lady when and if you ever pull your head out, check out your software, and by the way, there are many other differences that make up the "real" reasons for what you perceive to be inequality.

Hopefully, Zoomer will have a strong sense of social intuition, since you are not willing to teach him. Lots of children in the past generation were raised with the lie that boys and girls were the same, and it left them confused and at a disadvantage when they reached adolescence. If your kid understands gender roles and chooses to be non-conforming, then great for them, but for you not to teach them about the world... you're abandoning your responsibility as a parent just to promote your ideology.

@jordonpeterson bashed all her hypotheses and they are destroying the life of zoomer.

te saltaste un diamante en el minuto 5:34

What did she say Gender bending of girl to boy is tomboy and boys to girl is-?

Study Petroleum chemical Engineering and work in an oil rig.

Why did nobody point out the blatant mistakes in her speech?

Everyone is different male, female or non of the above, blame the parents, there was no such thing as getting money for jobs in my house as i was in my eyes just doing favours to make my mums life easier.

But she still raised zoomer as a human? Why lock them into such a strict framework. We shouldn't be categorized or restricted to just our physical characteristics. If they want to be a human, they'll figure it out eventually. Also, much of our identity is rooted in language. A baby raised speaking english can have a different experience of the world than one raised speaking cantonese. Why lock the child into the language of your choosing? Just grunt and point until the child figures out what language they want to speak. I hope zoomer survived this extremely restrictive upbringing.

I admire you and you have inspired me, don’t take offence to the small minded comments, people are scared of change and ideas bigger than their comfortable worlds. ❤️

"when i grow up i will earn less just because i dont work as hard. and i wont be able to wear the latest cute summer fashions because the airconditioner is too cold 😢" oh those poor upper class white western women. so much injustice

Nature vs nurture, it's a mix... empirical studies have shown that boys are naturally inclined to be more interested in things and girls are naturally inclined to be more interested in people, even without social or cultural nurturing.

Most realistic and all-encompassing gender-related Ted talks I've seen.

"I'm confused so my offspring have to be more confuse"

Pay gap doesn’t exist

i tried. i actually genuinely tried. i couldn't get the past the 5 minute mark.

Women will now need to DIGG for GOLD and DIAMOND and other resources like oil. Contruction area are now require that 50% of them are women. There will be ONE CONFORT-ROOM!!! I see that women now a days can see is only money to buy things,but never think how things are made through bending metals, bronze and aluminum. CAN THERE BE A GENDER EQUALITY in a CALAMITY?

Very inspiring!

Who's here from Humber lol

She says fact .. thank you girl

The ideas here are very appealing, but she fails to go into any serious depth. I recently discovered Jordan Peterson who counters them very successfully. Really worth watching his videos as he certainly knows what he's talking about being a Professor of Psychology, and IF the ideas presented in this talk are wrong then it could be seriously damaging for both women and men (and feminism...).

Can this woman give one example in 2018 of a "gender disparity" that disadvantages women? I would like documentation please.

When I was 9, I wanted to be a PweDiePie subscriber.

My mom gave me freedom to choose who I am,I chose to be an apache helicopter. Life's great

She looks frustrated and unhappy.

Hi, Im a social "scientist". She is a political BS´er

Sorry miss but the social construct model is not the whole story like you present. Equality of result is not the same as equality of opportunity.

You should move to Sweden, quickly. Then they can be a hen in your funny little world. I think I will identify as a guava berry today.

You are so wrong on everything! You need to research your research more.