colleen hoover is an extremely problematic author. the way she frames abusive behaviors as romance in her other books, and even atlas waiting until lily was 16 to sleep with her in the book was odd and problematic. colleen deserves all the criticism if not more.
The marketing is being harmful TO victims of DV. My mum was going to see this film tomorrow and didn’t know it was going to be anything other than a romcom. She grew up in an incredibly abusive household and would have been retraumatised having PTSD flashbacks. These are the kinds of people that should be protected by marketing being accurate and honest about the subject matter, not kids like you said people are upset about; no one is talking about kids seeing this, DV survivors are the ones speaking out. Absurd take on the marketing.
oh no. I just got finished commenting on how DV is not a legit "twist" to hide. I'm so glad you found out so you could let your mom know ahead of time. I've had much smaller bouts with DV and still feel the need to prepare myself for this one. I think if you're ready, movies like this can be healing. But certainly, survivors should get a chance to make that decision for themselves.
@@Stress-Free-K Treating DV as a “twist” feels so gross I agree. She decided a couple days ago when I talked to her about the movie that is she still wants to see it when it’s on streaming we’ll watch it together just in case. That way she doesn’t have to worry about panic attacks/flashbacks in a theatre with a bunch of strangers but can still have support ❤️
Justin made very clear that it was a DV....movie in all his interviews the only ones who were putting in it in a chill light were Blake and the rest of the cast...
False marketing is never a good thing, in my opinion. Advertising a movie that is about D.V. as a RomCom is actually harmful. Women do not NEED to go into a movie thinking its a romcom to be hit with D.V. we are all very aware of it and are confronted with aspects of it on a daily. I can see how this movie can benefit men seeing it, like the director has been saying, but women already have our traumas romanticized through movies. This movie also doesn't paint an actual realistic scenario of D.V. and womens real experiences. That she is "magically saved" at the end finding her "real love" and not the reality of the constant back and forths of toxic abusive relationships and how they work and look like in public and private. The entire story just isnt good to start with and making a movie and then promoting it as a "fun girly romcom" is just gross. Love your vids and opinions on things as always but this topic is a very complex one and not one to gloss over. (Not that I think you did but the marketing did.)
Also one of the things I heavily disagree with him, is the understanding Ryle part. If you care about victims you don’t make the audience borderline sympathies with the abusers, you don’t have to think, oh she’s should be honest. You need to understand why she stays not why he might feel like hitting. Because not every time there is a pseudo reason. Most times could be the silliest things, like the dinner not being ready in time or the partner not wanting to be intimate or the partner being stuck in traffic and getting home later . I hate the way they leaned into the love triangle and the almost justified jealousy part
As a survivor of DV, I feel like Blake Lively is making fun of women like me. I'm really offended. Justin Boldoni, on the other hand, has obvious compassion for our cause. It's sickening what Blake is trying to do to him, girl has money but no class at all.
Love Justin. His podcast is so positive and inspiring. I have been a fan for many years. Justin has always pushed this film as a DV movie and asked the big questions on this topic. Blake is a phenomenal actress, however her promotion of this film and the fickle nature of her responses in interviews of this film has been unsettling. Blake has avoided and washed over the question of why men hurt and/or why women stay. I am team Justin. And for that reason it will be an interesting movie to watch.
I kind of wonder if the reason she’s not talking about it is because the DV part of the movie is supposed to be a bit of a twist midway through the movie, and for those who haven’t read the book, it would come as a shock and surprise, so you’re really able to understand why Lily fell for Ryle (ie. because he wasn’t abusive from the start). If you know from the beginning that Justin’s character is going to abuse her, then perhaps you don’t really empathize with Lily in quite the same way, because you know he’s rotten before she does and it’s easy to say “she should’ve seen the signs” or other bullshit that people say about victims of DV. Anyway, I don’t think she’s obligated to talk about DV in every single interview about this movie. It’s also a love story between her Atlas, and a woman’s journey of growing out of a generational cycle. It’s not JUST about DV.
@@wearesatellites91 I would have to disagree. I've been in a couple of short DV relationships and used to wonder why I picked those type of men. Fortunately, I never really let them go too far. Nevertheless, DV is super prominent in our society and I really want to know before hand if that topic is going to be covered in a movie. Generally, I don't watch trailers cuz I want to be surprised. But I also don't need a DV twist to be witheld cuz I want to prepare myself first and make sure I"m in the right state of mind. Honestly, maybe find out that your loved on is a serial killer could be considered a legitimate twist. But finding out the handsome devil is actually an abusive P.O.S. Please do make that clear in all the promos.
I probably see your point that the movie is half romance half DV. But that still does not justify the marketing strategy BL and her PR team are going for. Have you seen the reel where RR interviewed the guy who plays Atlas? Wtf was that? BL saying wear your florals and go to movies as if it's a purely romantic movie and does not include very disturbing topic that impacts many many individuals across the globe. Unbelievably tone deaf. Her interviews reflect she comes from privilege and does not have the maturity to understand underlying seriousness of DV. Additionally her team trying to somehow crusify JB also isn't playing well. Like seriously, you won, your cut was the final one. Can you just not for the sake of promoting a film which includes really sensitive topic, just stayed quiet and let the work speak for itself?
@sklynn yes I did. He said that 14:00 into the video. But did you see that he also defended the marketing strategy by BL? She effing promoted her Blake Brown company during this movie's premiere. As much as one can justify that this movie is not entirely about DV, but it's not entirely princess diaries. BL either has zero emotional maturity to acknowledge depth of dv in this movie or she is intentionally avoiding to acknowledge, not sure which is worse. The pr of this movie is just beyond wrong.
I am a fan of Justin for years and I think he’s been incredible ever since I’ve seen him on Jane the virgin and started following him and on socials too ❤ this man is a good egg, and clearly made that movie for the right reasons!
You're talking about a topic you have no experience with, are not a woman. And you're saying that people who feel offended by the minimization of DV (Blake Lively trying to make this a Barbie moment) are pearl clutchers. I think you tried but your take is naive to the issues at hand.
The problem with Blake's promotion of the film (at least for me) is that, as someone who has not read the book, just seen and learned a lot about Colleen Hoover books, and what this one is about specifically, through reviews and stuff, her selling it as a rom-com and a love story makes me wonder what she and Justin are doing in this film and not want to watch it, because it gives me that vibe of romanticising DV. On the other hand, Justin's way of selling it changes my mind completely and makes me think he actually, as a director, fixed that and he has good intentions with the adaption.
Blake Lively could have said "I appreciate that so many people have been victimised like Lily Bloom. I am an actress, not a therapist and I think it could be harmful for me to talk about this from a place of authority. I encourage you to access registered mental health professionals and local support groups". She should be prepared to say something like this. I love when actors humble themselves and say hey just because I played xy and z doesn't mean I'm any kind of expert.
I feel sorry for the main actor of her last film Justin Baldoni who is the director of the film and holds the rights to adapt the book to the cinema. She acts he doesn't exist in a very disrespectfully and unprofessional way. As the film was hers. Very disrespectful this actress who wanted to take over his film he has been working for years. She and her husband did it. He talks about domestic violence, she's more about selling the film like Barbie with flowers and selling the beverage products and hair products along with the film's premiere. And the book writer selling nail polish and colouring books. The movie poster she produced ( her face and flowers), there isn't his name either. He is a class act, mature with high emotional inteligence. His interviews of the film are the best. In his interviews, he shows the reality of the film and speaks out against domestic violence very accurately.
I’m a therapist and I honestly think this is the most balanced take. There is potential for harm with the marketing (in that someone who has a trauma and stressor related disorder can feel triggered if they don’t expect the abuse), but I think there’s something important there as well - we don’t go into an abusive relationship expecting the abuse, and similarly we take this journey with Lily and it’s in a nuanced, four dimensional way that we explore the dynamics and characters
Justin Baldoni talked in an interview about how he wanted to show that DV isn’t about straight up monsters. There is love and charm and good times that lures women in and then there is the violence, but still hope that he can change and you can go back to the good times, etc. It shows that he consulted with a DV prevention group because he did a much better job than the book did.
I read that scene as SA, not attempted SA. The nurse/doctor started to try to ask her about a rape kit and she said she wasnt but it was clearly acted as a "shes lying to herself".
I grew up in the 90s and I remember MOST of the things I watched, that were actually marketed towards my age group, dealing with pretty heavy subject matter. Kids can handle a lot more than people seem to think they can today.
I think so too, but I think it is silly and kind of manipulative. I feel like they tried to spark interest in a similar way in Dont Worry Darling and I dont think it benefited them. @@jspencer7788
The problem with the marketing is that survivors may be miseld to believe they're in for a romance and get massively triggered. It's not about not being able to handle it. It's about expecting date night fluff and ending up having a melt down in public.
NGL ... I haven't seen this movie but prolly will since you like it and I do have an Alamo season pass. But once you said there's juicy tidbits behind the scenes ... I skipped to the end of your review. Purely for any context you might add to my enjoyment of the movie. (jumping to 19:00) And I'm so happy I did. I do feel bad for the author if she's getting the Baby Reindeer treatment by the press and glad she took a stab at this subject. Cuz, DV is for real. So now I really want to see the movie and see how in the world the lead actress has a kinda "trad wife" vibe about the subject matter in the press.
The author isn't good at depicting these types of situations..... She's known to glamorize really controversial relationships like DV or student teacher relationships (just to name a few)... From what I understand, Justin wanted to bring awareness DV in relationships from a female perspective using this story
@@Rosiebud82 That's my take as well. I'm with Marshall. The author sounds like an abscure novelist that hit the jack pot with a major motion picture getting the rights to one of her books. But like a lot of women who get swept up in a world press controversy, I think they go too far on pillorying regular people associated with major media stories. My real issue is with the actress. But perhaps she is some one who has lived their life in a bubble and can't conceive how devasting DV can be. Or perhaps she's experienced it herself and her way of coping is to make light. Either way, as the lead actress to what sounds like a very powerful movie, society owes it to her to try and educate her on the dire realities many many women and men face by the hands of abusive partners.
@@Stress-Free-K I agree with you about the lead actress. I'm also baffled by how she's promoting it by promoting her hair care line, Taylor Switch, Brittany Spears, Her themed clothes, and Deadpool.... I was commenting more on your sentence about the author taking a stab at this issue. The author gained a lot of popularity through TikTok (which I have learned is not the best book recommendation place... a lot of poorly written books are popular there). She was supposedly a social worker so for her to write a book that glamorized DV is wild. Which i think is another contributing factor to why there is so much discourse over the promotion of the book. Additionally, the author has been promoting the movie with the lead actress. And like i previously said, the author isn't good at presenting these situations well. She glamorizing everything she writes. The source material is bad to begin with. She even tried to make a coloring book out of it Ends with Us... All of this discourse was before the movie was releasing and being promoted. The author has been problematic for along time. I think the false advising with a major tipping point for a lot of people.
@@Rosiebud82 Apparently she's no Upton Sinclair (or Orsen Wells, given your avatar) who some people thought was romanticizing the plight of the everyday man in his books. Or thought he was a communist. When in reality his books are biting social commentary and his everyday schmoes are depicted with a certain degree of nobility and heroism because that is exactly what they are given the circumstances they have to overcome. My point is that these tough subjects could be tackled with the victims of DV seemingly oblivious to the dire circumstances that they are trapped in because that's the only way they know how to cope. I could definitely see a former social worker attempting to do that. Because I've met many sex workers who glamorize their work until the brutal realities become too overbearing to ignore. However, like chronic substance abusers, there is a honeymoon phase where they live in denial. Nevertheless, being able to pull off that type of near surreality is no mean feat. So I think that is why Marshall gives her a pass for at least broaching these complexities. Because, unlike a JK Rowlings, this author seems to have realized that the mass-market coloring book may not be such a great idea. However, from her social worker's perspective, giving children a way to express their feelings about living in a DV home is not a bad idea. And such tools in the hands of a professional could be quite therapeutic. Sorta like having anatomically correct dolls, which the author may have used in her social work investigations for child abuse cases. Overall it seems like this author's intent is well-meaning but her gifts as a writer to pull off rather ambitious subject matter are apparently lacking.
@@Stress-Free-K she had to be told it wasn't a good idea..... By multiple fans complaining about it. I'm guessing she only decided against it because she wouldn't earn money. Nothing of her actions have lead me to believe she didn't think it was a good idea. And I had been generalizing her writing because she doesn't write just about DV; it's over things as well which I have brought up. And I know DV victims have rose colored glasses to DV; I'm not trying to engate that. What I'm trying to get at is the author wasn't using these situations (DV, student teacher relationships, Murder, infertility, etc) to bring social commentary on such situations. She wrote them as plot devices for erotic romance novels.. For example: in the book Lily is told by Rile's sister that he blacks out in his fits of rage but later it's blatantly obviously, he doesn't. Which they changed in the movie So, no, I don't agree that that the author had good intentions.
Think what it is is that people are not getting that sometimes the domestic violence sometimes people are still in love even when it’s committing with violence my parents even love each other, even though sometimes you know, it boggles the mind this won’t cure virus what can happen not like the woman can’t leave but you know she’s still in😅 hello thank you goodbye I love you videos😊
Yeah its that easy if you leave early enough. I had a boyfriend i lived with and he raised his hands at me once and tried to hit me, next day i was gone. F that 💩
That's not fair. Have you ever tried writing? It's really hard to make a masterpiece. But that doesn't mean people should be crapped all over on because they don't get the sensibilities exactly right. Cuz it sounds like this writer is trying to show how people in what outsiders might view as really f...ed up situations. But the people in the middle of the storm often romanticize situations in order to survive. It's not the healthiest approach. But we're only human.
