gonna vent here. sorry if you're uncomfortable with people venting on ur posts, in that case, just delete this, or ignore it, i'm not exactly expecting a response anyway. honestly i'm so, so so tired of living. what point is there to living? i have nothing. my friends ignore me for days. i have nothing to do all day every day. i barely go to school anymore because of my social anxiety. the only person i've ever truly loved, left me. he emotionally abused me, broke up with me for attention, lied to me, i almost killed myself multiple times for him, yet after all of that, i still love him. it pains me so much knowing that he already has moved on and is dating someone else. he loves someone who hurt him over me. am i really that bad of a person ..? he's the only reason i'm still alive now. he made me happy. he was the only person to ever make me happy. and he's gone. he's gone. and its probably all my fault. i hate myself. so much. i still feel like i can't live without him. i want to move on, but i cant. i need someone. i need someone to love. i want to love again. i want to be happy with someone. its all i want. but i cant even make friends, never mind find love. i spent hours day after day looking for someone. i want someone with the same interests as me, so i interact with people in the bungou stray dogs community. oh but, they always have people they prefer over me. they dont even wanna be my friend. they already have someone they love. a lover, even a best friend, or a friend group. id never be important to them. the only people i'm a little bit important to, are never online. and im mostly too shy to speak to them. i honestly don't know what i can do at this point. i've been trying for years, but nothing works. im tired of trying. i'm tired of living. i'm sick and tired of everything, why me? whys it always me? why can't I have anything good? Why cant i have someone to love? please its all im asking for
I understand you. some of my classmates bullied me in junior classes because I was "strange" or something like that. there wasn't something really bad like beatings, but they beat me up verbally. i spent a year to get rid of panic attacks and social phobia, but I still have social anxiety or smth like that. I'm not good in supporting anybody (or myself lol), but can we be friends? if you want so my tg is @Bio_muso3 i can't promise anything, but let's try?