my parents got divorced. My dad moved just a few streets away from my mom. I was able to walk to his house. My parents stayed best friends all the way until my father died. We had every holiday together, birthday, celebration, and hardship. They were a disaster living together. Constantly fighting. Put them in two separate houses and they were an unstoppable force of love and team work. It's more than possible. Best wishes to you both!
My parents get a long better as friends vs being married and we did holidays/trips together. Even after my mom got remarried. So I agree that it is possible 🥰
Because your father really loved your mother. He must have suffered terribly for so many years. Nowadays, unfortunately, most women abandon men. For various reasons, sometimes nonsense
Except my situation, I can tell he's waiting for me to be back to work and steady... then he's leaving. Had his baby, had to stay home and get supports in place due to his autism... but hey, make me a single parent because the attention isnt all on you (my bf)
@@meichey00 Lol, it's not the rule. If you're a person more in tune to your emotions and put value in your relationships, you'll feel it like lots (not all) of women feel. I know some women who are more emotionally unavailable and find they end up mourning after, due to not caring enough to pay attention to the signs while the relationship was crashing and burning. The men/women like that, all act so shocked when it's over!
This is heartbreaking. She looks so hurt. Someone else in the comments said he’s in denial, I agree. He’s lost so much weight, and in his eyes he’s just a bit.. manic. They’re talking so respectfully to each other, it’s incredible. It’s just so sad, the whole situation.
Wow, I haven't seen these two in over a year and I'm sad they're divorcing but it's nice to see how amicable they both are ❤ I wish all divorces and or relationships could end this way! Very mature.
Stephanie, Me either. I thought they had just gone away off line. Then I recently (just in the couple days) found her on FB again. Now i find out all this and I’m kinda heartbroken but then again I’m heartbroken for ANY couple going through a breakup & divorce.
As someone who mourned the relationship already, Laura has been through all the stages of grief, including denial. Stephen is still in the denial stage. He doesn't realize it's too late to save their marriage. In time he will and they both as well as their children will be better off for it.
Yes I follow him & Laura, and like a lot of women, she left the relationship emotionally before they physically separated. My mother did this also. Women can't always just up & end a marriage. They will be more deliberate & plan ahead before telling their husband they want to be separated.
Right. And its hitting him now, a year later. I think bc she was so nice ane open w him, he had this subconscious feeling they still had a chance. Sometimes u have to cut your ex off for them to GET that its truly over
People should really step back and realize how painful this is for you both and at the end of the day you deserve the respect and privacy and although you shared your relationship/family we don't have a right to information or to tear you down. Love to you Laura ❤❤❤
They don’t really get privacy because they put their whole life out here public ally. But I love both of them. They can’t really have it both ways though
Maybe it's just me, but I sense tons of tension. I know it's peaceful, and as respectful as possible, but there seems to be a lot of tongue biting and repressed resentment on some stuff. Keeping the friendship alive and co-parenting is a huge feat in those circumstances, and I really commend them on treading the line between being genuine and being respectful of one another's views. I really hope they heal individually and find their footing. Change is hard, and they're clearly working harder.
My parents got divorced when I was 7 and I can’t even imagine how miserable the whole family would’ve been if they tried to “stay together for the kids.”
Well, trying to stay together for the kids actually involves TRYING. If not for the sake of the live for your partner but for the love of your kids. People today doesn’t know what really trying is, in a relationship.
The whole point is to TRY, which means letting go of selfish desires for the sake of being stable for the children 😂 divorce is too easy for people to just quit. And this is on BOTH sides.
I think the people picking sides are the most vocal about it. There’s a lot of us remaining quiet who just love you both and want the best for you both. ❤
Exactly… It’s not about sides it’s about the person. I won’t tolerate victim blaming. … I don’t know why I answered the way I did but this is what I’m seeing allot in hateful comments on choosing sides…
I agree but with that said Stephan has changed did a 180 and now is someone he wasnt before. So I cant support the new him because I do not gel with what he is now putting out there. I followed and watched his videos when he first started until he started spewing stuff that I disagree with so unfollowed him. She so far has stayed true with what she has always put out there so I support her.
Dude listening to you two speak about your kids makes me want to bawl my eyes out. Such excellent parents your kids are so lucky to have you and you're lucky to have them ❤
@@holder1971 I disagree, I think the family unit is important and beautiful, I have a Son and work hard with my partner to maintain a healthy, loving relationship so he has both parents together. But my parents were a terrible couple and I was way happier when they separated, sometimes good parents are better parents not together, it depends on the situation and we don't know how their relationship was effecting the kids, even in small ways, that would have been detrimental long term.
This was tough for me to watch. I see two people who still love each other but just can’t be together. I’ve been with my husband for 28 years - married 23. We met in high school. Marriage is so so hard. Especially since a lot of us don’t have all the right skills ect. Big hugs to both of you. I hope you can continue to be friends for the kids. Keep working. ❤
I started watching you all when you were doing the Steven pick up lines. Then of course things changed but I still love you both so much equally and watch both of your all's content. I have 3 kids two with Autism , not with the father anymore and were great friends. So I can relate to you all. Love you both
My heart hurts for both of you. Even the most amicable split up is still major/life changing and has so much emotion and grief. I'm happy you're doing what is best for you and the kids. ❤
You’re doing the right thing. I was a child of divorce and I was relieved when my parents split. Coparent and be kind to each other - you have already found the right way. Kudos to you both!
My parents finally got a divorce when I was 19 and living out of the house. I had started telling my mother to leave my father when I was 13, literally telling her “if you divorce dad, I’ll be okay, it won’t hurt me.” But they kept insisting on staying together, supposedly for me. I cannot even begin to describe how much happier they are now that they’re divorced. How much better my relationship got with each of them as individuals. Obviously things aren’t perfect, they’re pretty overwhelmingly damaged people at this point, but my only reaction to learning they separated was “thank god, finally.” I only wish they had done it before I started high school. “Staying together for the kids” is the stupidest thing ever. It’s a lie adults tell themselves when they are too cowardly to leave a bad situation. Staying together for the kids teaches your children to accept their circumstances when they are miserable instead of learning to take agency over their own happiness. If you stay in your marriage “for your kids” you are failing as a parent because you are failing to sufficiently teach your children healthy independence-and raising your children to be a happy, healthy adults is your entire job as a parent.
I’m hard of hearing and even with AirPods turned up all the way, it’s still hard to hear you guys. I just thought I’d let you know. Very proud of both of you for doing this! It must not be the easiest thing to do but your strength is inspiring ❤
Have you tried turning on the RU-vid captions? I use that all the time. Let me say, it isn't always accurate and can make hysterical mistakes, but it's obvious when it happens. Most of the time it can be helpful.
@@thnkx I almost always use captions when I can but I listened while at work and I can’t have my phone out like that 😕😕 but it wasn’t bad enough to where I couldn’t listen! I was able to get through! I just had a harder time than with other podcasts is all 🤷🏻♂️😊
Thank you for saying that about the volume, I was getting ready to say the same. The person on the microphone needs to bump up the volume. The commercials were blairing when I had it loud enough to hear them talking.
I noticed this too! I’m not hard of hearing but I have my volume all the way up and even the sound of me preparing and eating my food made me have to turn on captions 😂
I went through an extreme amount of trauma because my parents wouldn’t divorce. My mom still talks about divorcing my father as I’m an adult and she won’t.
I love seeing you two chatting together. It’s really nice to see when the media is full of angry divorcees and everyone wants that tea. It will be great for the kids to see this as well. They will grow to be angry if their parents are. So cool to see parents come together to make content and set an example.
I enjoyed this.. I enjoy Stephen in this space. My heart broke when Laura said “i was mourning the relationship for years” and Stephens reaction was so sad. You are both amazing to come together like this. I wish you both continued peace and healing
I did the same in my marriage. I mourned the loss and came to terms with it after begging him for counseling or anything. I then proceeded to tell him we were divorcing and he acted shocked, begged me to stay, threatened me, did anything but it was OVER for me.
Laura, you amaze me. After all you have been through, you still strive to maintain your relationship with Steven. Your statement about a women mourning the relationship during and a men mourning after, is spot on. When a woman tries over and over to explain to her partner and she repeatedly gets dismissed she eventually is done, once she shows she is done, the husband might clue in but it is too little, too late. It shows a great deal of maturity to successfully co parent..good for both of you. Meanwhile I no longer follow Steven because I find he is so volatile, he gives me anxiety. Best wishes Laura and I will continue to support you.
This same scenario occurred with my daughter. He dismissed her even when she begged him to be more attentive to family and friends. Especially their own family!!!!!! Avoided the kids for a time, refusing counseling. Laura was done!!!!! I'm concerned about him being off his meds totally
My husband and I were told that we were rare.. we have a few kids on the spectrum, I’m on the spectrum, my Mum had gone through cancer and passed from it, and so much more.. and we were STRONGER THAN EVER. We had our problems, absolutely, but we loved each other and so we fought for each other. It’s bloody hard to have one child on the spectrum, and the more you have, the harder it gets. I lost my husband 2 years ago, and I would give anything to have him back, arguments and all
The first 10 years of my marriage were definitely the hardest. Things definetly got better after that. We werent stable and had a lot of issues that we were able to work out.
Amen! I think we get through things and with age and maturity we learn to really appreciate the other person. I always knew I loved him, he would be my first choice but now I really feel it. I know he’s a good man, good dad, hard worker and anyone would love him. I know he’s a catch. We have raised one son who is 19 and the others are getting older and we did it. But I see myself really respecting him more these days, after 18 years. :)
How did you manage that? We are in year 4 of our marriage and it's been really hard. Mainly because he's always dismissing how I'm feeling and telling me how I should be feeling. He isn't an effective communicator. There's only so much I can do to impact a conversation, but he needs to pull his side too. Aside from the fact that he's emotionally cheated on me and I found him on dating sites a few months back...its been hard. He claims to be a Christian and doesn't want to divorce me interestingly.
@@essem7878Apologies for asking such a harsh question, but why are you still with him? It sounds like he doesn't respect you and most of all has very little emotional inteligene :(
i praise you guys for your relationship, as a child of divorced parents, my childhood would of been so much better if BOTH my parents got a long. my highschool graduation was a mess because the adults in my life couldnt adult properly. please keep showing and guiding us how to have a civil relationship. I LOVE both of you, and I will continue to follow and support both of you! ♥♥
I just feel uncomfortable with the masculinity, weakness & vulnerability talking. I feel sad who he has become…also, my son is asd & nothing gave him autism, his brain is literally different. I love Laura & I don’t hate Stephen but I feel sad for him
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING LAURA! I'm a child of divorce- and the only complaint I have is they should have gotten one sooner. As a little girl I would beg to go to my grandparents house to get away from the atmosphere that was around my parents. I would cry & cry when they would come to take me home. The relationships I formed with my parents did not become positive, and did not really start until after they had divorced. I then watched my mom go through another marriage that she tried so hard for, and I was telling her for at least a decade she needed to divorce- that staying with my brother & sisters father (half siblings isn't a term I like, but for the purpose of this comment) wasn't making things better it was hurting them- now they've also separated, and things are going so much better for my baby siblings (they're 14 & 16 - I'm 30 and my "full" brother is 26) and I'm so glad they are got their more peaceful life earlier on, so maybe the trauma won't be as bad as it was for me and my oldest brother.
He did the sterling men’s weekend, it’s obvious. When my boyfriend many years back did that weekend he came home and announced to me “honey, you are 100% in charge of the emotional side of this relationship” I was like WHAT? No thanks. Lol Then I got talked into doing the sterling women’s weekend, i’m not gonna say I didn’t get some great things out of it, but the guy who runs does workshops, Justin Sterling has an unbelievable history of not practicing what he preaches in his own relationship. And also, a lot of the ideas are very archaic. However, the biggest thing I got from the woman’s weekend is how to be super Duper, supportive to other women and allow them to support me. I carry that with me everywhere, I no longer am competitive with women and I’m so grateful to that weekend for teaching me that.
You can tell they both still love each other. Sometimes love isn't enough to fix the problems. But it's important for their co-parenting. ❤ The respect and love they have for each other is going to show their kids how to treat people even if they don't always agree 💯 with them. That's beautiful ❤
I was completely invested in this conversation you both had in this one. I can tell Laura is still struggling internally about the situation but is also trying to heal in her own time. I feel she is being patient with herself, which is healthy. But Co-parenting and staying friends is the best way to show the kids that both Mommy and Daddy are still together in some aspects and there is nothing wrong with that. Accountability was shown on both ends which I see is tremendous progress in my opinion. However, it is never healthy for the kids for the parents to stay in a anger fueled marriage, just for the sake of the kids. It sets very bad examples for the kids and they do usually end up being a product of their environment. Since, you guys are no logner married but are working together as friends to raise those beautiful babies, will help them in the future. You guys are doing amazing, and for Laura, stay away of those comments. Those comments will never validate the real progress that you are actually making.
As an autistic person the implication that a vaccine caused his son’s autism is so insulting and disrespectful. Autism is a genetic factor - and no, vaccines don’t turn on those receptors or cause the gene to “take over”. The fact he thinks something caused it shows clearly he grieves a “normal child” or thinks theres something wrong with his son, autistic people are amazing and the world wouldn’t have ANY of the great inventions that we have on this earth if it wasn’t for autism or adhd. He’s likely smarter than both parents and only has issues communicating, which doesn’t mean the thoughts are not there
As watching you guys from whenever you had help Helen smash page, I absolutely loved how adorable and authentic and hilarious. You are Laura, it hurts to see you guys separate and I think understanding and having space for someone is so important as someone that has a very loving husband, I relate to you in a lot of ways, but you can’t pour from a cup that’s empty. Mourning a relationship is so hard. But you both are amazing. Sending good vibes
WOW these comments are NOT it. Honestly happiness is SO important, and if this is what you two need to make your lives work, do it! No judgment here, I'm surprised how many feel you should force a relationship at all.
Yeah you force it and you end up hating each other or despising each other instead of still saying friends and having a healthy relationship because they have kids and making it work versus trying to force it and stay together.
I think Laura is very vulnerable right now and struggling to keep the emotions at bay…I truly feel for her and totally understand the propensity to disassociate
Yes without felt safety the brain naturally goes to it to cope. Therapy greatly helps and I don't think given how erratic he's been online it's probably for her safety
@@melissaparson you can clearly see that Laura wore the pants and admit to being the man in the relationship. Stephen had to walk on egg shells and suppress his entire identity throughout relationships and hide his true feelings and opinions.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
You can see how raw both of their feelings still are. I really hope they both do what’s best for themselves and for their children. They really are amazing people and deserve all the happiness in the world and it makes me so sad that he had to go through everything he did and she just had to watch the train wreck. They love each other so much. I really hope they figure it out
I'm happy and sad for both of you but my biggest prayer for ya'll is that you both can continue to be friends and gently co-parent so that everyone ends up happy. Our opinions don't matter. Your happiness as the family you always will be is all that matters.
My parents eventually got divorced when I was 17 and moved out but my mom stayed together for the kids and I truly wish they would’ve got divorced years before. I actually begged my mom to divorce my dad he was/is a narcissist who abuses alcohol and drugs and put me my siblings and especially my mom through Hell! 😞 You guys are doing the right thing especially for your kids mental well being! ❤️
I can see the heaviness in your eyes, Laura. This is big on your heart as it would be. Stephen looks like he’s trying to make peace with it. I love how mature conversation amongst so much speculation and all the “good for you, he’s crap” comments. He’s the father of their children, have respect as she does. Follow Laura people. Negative comments aren’t needed. Praise them for sharing their discussion.
Looking at this from a counselor standpoint, it’s clear the dialogue between them is very disconnected. When you see a separated couple come back into a space together and talk, it’s a lot to process without a mediator present, especially when you 1) have a partner that is blame shifting, 2) has media presence, and 3) is constantly spreading content that is controversial.
Agree... I think they have not fully processed their feelings and situation in private. This is basically them processing it in full view of public scrutiny. I can feel their pain, both of them :(
My parent’s divorce is one of the best things that happened to me. They were toxic together. I can’t imagine what I would have had to go through if they stayed together. My step Dad was also so amazing I couldn’t imagine the person I’d be without him raising me
You can tell Laura is really holding back at points. I can so sense her stress, pain, and unease. She is trying SO hard keeping it all together. I feel such compassion for her. He seems really out of touch at times. He totally glossed over and dismissed her pain and tried one-up her when she mentioned hate from his followers. He also dismissed her when she discussed her parents' marriage. And joked casually about how they are divorcing at 10 years. Very sad.
Yeah those parts really saddened me. It's a pattern in a lot of their interactions. He doesn't hear or acknowledge her pain or feelings and dismisses and minimises it and changes the subject super fast to talk about his own pain on an unrelated topic. Very very sad.
@@theskincareskinny5006 I'm aware and do factor it in. Being ND doesn't change the pain and distress that it causes the other person whose feelings are being dismissed. It's still sad and unfortunate. And here's the thing: he wasn't willing to do family or couples therapy to work on himself and help the family relationships. Not everything can be excused by being ND. He does seem to at least on the surface take accountability for it, and I give him credit for that. But that doesn't diminish the real pain caused.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!! AND SO MANY OTHERS I PICKED UP ON. I ACTUALLY SHOWED THIS TO MY PSYCH. PROFESSOR WHO IMMEDIATELY STATED TURN IN A PAPER REGARDING MY THEORIES ON THIS SPECIFIC CONVERSATION. I THOUGHT HE WAS ABSOLUTELY JOKING....TO MY DEMISE HE WAS NOT!!!!
That was REALLY hard to watch. I am also autistic and I can still manage to listen to people and properly respond. We are still capable of gaslighting and that’s what that was. Instead of him saying, “I’m sorry that’s happening to you,” and addressing his followers immediately right here to STOP, he said “well I am getting attacked by the left and they’re just awful,” and I read his comments. I don’t usually see people being terrible to him. What I see is folks telling him he’s being inappropriate, insulting, and insensitive for absolutely no reason, and he calls ANYONE who disagrees with him “the left or liberal,” I am neither and anytime I have said something he didn’t want to hear he’s responded with, “you’re attacking me, you’re a liberal.” It has happened twice now and I am never attacking or even REMOTELY rude in my comments.
Stephen, NO child wants to live in a broken home BUT no one wants to live with two adults who hate eachother and fight and scream and hurt eachother every day of their lives.
@jypsyfalcon4076 I'm not talking specifically about them, but in general about parents who do or do not get divorced. I'm sure my experience is similar to others whose parents got divorced and experienced the screaming, crying and emotional abuse.
I think people sometimes underestimate the problems that come with living in a broken home vs coming from one. Living in the toxicity daily is rough and causes a lot of damage. Divorce is hard too! But two amicable parents in different homes, who are respectful and supportive (which they seem to be accomplishing) is a good thing. Especially if they're unable to do the same living under one roof.
@@denisemeissner1015 I don't think she was saying Stephen and Laura currently hate each other. But they could end up hating each other if they stay married. Like my parents. Married 57 years. I'm 43 and I've never seen them happy with each other.
I just watched the video on his channel and I wish he would actually listen to Laura and respect her boundaries instead of CONSTANTLY being manipulative pushing to stay together "for the kids" ! I can see she's so fed up of it, he does it so often now she just gives a apathetic sigh and moves on in order to stay civil for parentings sake and hats of to her for that !! Not only does it show a complete lack of respect to her...all it does is reinforce why she's left him ! He's worryingly delusional if he thinks attending one cult like mens retreat has solved every flaw and issue he have ever had. Despite him admitting to the fact he's a better parent now than when they were together he continuously says they NEED to be together for the "children's sake " yet again reinforces how selfish and out of touch he is! It's not for the kids he was less attentive when you were together, it has nothing to do with their happiness and everything to do with his control. At this point Laura just nervously laughs and moves on purely to be civil because even when she makes it clear that she doesn't currently want to try agin he just ignores her wishes over and over and still uses manipulative..guilt tripping language. Laura I see you and support you 100%, you are an incredible mother and a good person. Continue to reinforce your boundaries in a civil way and get yourself legally set and covered in case things get worse. ❤️
I'm very grateful my parents divorced. They divorced when I was 2, and my sister was 4. My Mom asked for full custody only because my Dad was moving to the other side of Canada my sister and I were living on (We lived on Vancouver Island and my Dad was living in Nova Scotia) so that made it hard to get medical tests and especially surgery due to me having a liver transplant at 10 months old and needing both parents consent at that point. My Dad agreed which I very much appreciate as that allowed me to get the care I needed immediately at that time I needed which allowed my Mom to give the attention and love my sister needed too.
I am so proud of you Laura! You are truly handling all of this so gracefully and you're so unapologetically authentic yet respectful. I support your decision 100% and to think I was originally wanting you guys to get back together so badly 😂 You keep doing you and being an amazing person and loving your babies with your all! ❤
You are both your own people. I’m glad you’re touching on this. Because I’ve seen people compare you two. I might not agree at all with what Steven says. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to harass either of you over it. He’s allowed to have his own feelings. I’m just glad you guys are able to be civil to one another 🥰
I loved your channel, the funny family videos were always so much fun to watch, it made my day everytime I saw you guys just having fun with ur kids...it's almost been a year I guess, and suddenly I remembered about your channel for some reason only to find out about your divorce. It must be so hard to deal with, I hope that both of you and your family will be able to get through it, especially those kids. Take care!
My parents divorced I was 18 months old. I have always loved both of my parents immensely and going between homes was hard at times but even then I never once growing up wished that they would get back together because I had such different experiences at each parent’s house that it didn’t make sense to me how they got together in the first place and I knew even at a very very young age that them getting together would be unbearable for all of us, myself included. I am very grateful that my mother had the strength to chose divorce despite the social disdain regarding divorce in those days.
I feel for Laura speaking about mourning the relationship while in it. My husband, having not dealt with his demons, was more absent than present and it was hurting us. I could speak on my perspective in the relationship till the words spilled out my ears. He would act as if he was interested in hearing and learning ways to do better for all of us including him but all this changes were surface level. Then he reverted back so easily. Until he, and I, actually, started digging down deep to learn about the root causes of the issues we were experiencing was it possible to begin healing our relationship. We just hit the 10 year mark and yes, those first 10 years were so hard. Fingers crossed for continued healing for you both. Healing is where freedom will exist.
Specifically just commenting for the part at 28:25 when the topic of toughing out a marriage for your kids came up. I am 26 and have 3 siblings, 23, 19, and 17. Our parents stuck it out "for the kids". Couldn't make it to the 17 year old graduating. I have diagnosed PTSD, my doctors were willing to go on record to the judge in the divorce hearing to confirm that my father was the root cause for my PTSD. The horrific things we endured because my parents were "toughing it out" are forever etched into my memory. I had PTSD for so long by the time I was diagnosed, I didn't even realize I was experiencing flashbacks. Divorce and co-parent if you genuinely want to make your kids happy, because if things were bad enough to even consider separating... don't put your kids through it.
My parents did this too. They did wind up ultimately getting through it, AND they didn’t get through it until we were out of the house. I have so much anxiety and PTSD. I didn’t learn how to have a healthy relationship because there wasn’t one modeled for me.
At first I really wanted you to both work out. But, he's pretty insane. It's clear he has no identity and needs to really soul search. I wish you both the best and hope you can continue to love eachother and support each other even after the divorce. Good luck to you
You have both come a very long way in your personal development. I think you should both be extremely proud of the fact you both have your children's best interests at heart and the way to ensure they are getting the best of 'you' is to have a respectful and calm relationship with each other. Who knows, as you carry on in your journey you may 'find each other' again... but for now, focus on the present, on being present for yourself, your children and each other as co-parents. Much love to you both x
have you seen his page? he is obsessively hateful toward trans people. just because he's speaking calmly here doesn't mean he didn't record like twenty videos within the past few months bashing and maligning trans and LGBTQ people generally
The love they so obviously still have for each other is heartbreaking to see. I'm still rooting for them and all the possibilities they have as a couple in the future.
Yeah that was just a crazy lie people made up. It's genetics just like being Gay. Everyone has Autism in their family and everyone has Gay people in their family.. it just IS..
Yes, it's true. But I think the vaccines can really make their symptoms so much worse. They're so sensitive to environmental changes and jabbing autistics should be looked at closer because I'm pretty sure they're not helping them with the vaccine schedule they currently have
100% agree with Laura, my parents divorced when i was 17 and i wish they had done it so much sooner, i was the last kid at home and it was so hard. Once they were done it was so much easier, i only wish it hadnt been during my senior year in high school.
Find your peace girl!!! You are an amazing woman! Mother! Friend! Human being!! You are kind and funny and honest.. you have a character that is so unique and I’m so proud of every step you make everyday with everything going on!!! You are an inspiration! Be kind to yourself ignore the rest ❤
@@kimcallaghan3581 oh I do hope they stay civil and are able to parent their children. May they each find happiness on their own. They choose to divorce so I will be supportive. Not my place to judge the why.
I adore the both of you in this. Even though you are amicably divorcing, co-parenting and remaining friends; you are both human and have your own feelings/thoughts/emotions/experiences etc. And you are allowing the space for yourselves and each other to have all those things. Bravo to you both on that. And love and good vibes to you both on this next leg of your journeys. I'll stop my run on sentences here.
I'm a child psychologist and I can tell you that staying together for the children NEVER EVER works. Also, the best schedule should be for the child. Alternative days won't be better for them when they get older, watch for their cues & needs.
It’s clear Stephen has changed a lot and you’ve grown apart. I’m glad you’re doing things amicably. My parents divorced when I was 9 and I was grateful.
@@colleenm4031 no that’s BS. Thankful to live in a time in our country where we are not forced to stay married to someone especially just bc they impregnated us. I stay in my marriage every day because I WANT to. No one should be forced to stay married. We don’t know their whole story. If she doesn’t want to be married to him then that’s enough.
@@colleenm4031 my parents remarried and tried to make it “work”. They fought. Hated each other. There was abuse. Physical violence. Sexual violence. I would’ve had a better teen life without my dad around. Divorce is a live saver sometimes
you can see how laura is fighting to dear life or whatever is the saying... to try to speak her true but at the same time keep thing in peace with stephen, she knows that she cant say something that triggers stephen because shit can go down like really quickly... like she just say to him... i mean.. you are autistic... my dad is autistic... theres nothing weird with alfie being autistic and still stephen is like... well yeah but i have other data... like ... u can not reasoning with him. i really feel soorry for laura you can see how she just can´t believe who stephen has turn in to. like she feels like she actually never knew her husband at all.
I'm seeing that too and this therapy retreat he was talking about seems extremely problematic. Ranting on about "married people should stick together for the kids" and "divorcing after 10yrs is stupid" and constantly talking about his masculinity like... sounds like he's got a closet full of maga gear 😪
We are not God and we do not create or manifest anything! I’m so glad Stephen is finding God and spiritual guidance. God has a person for you Stephen! You are well within your rights to refuse the jab. You have simply found you are conservative and a man. Best of everything to you!
A few points for Laura(after watching that stuck out to me): I have read before that when someone becomes [whatever wonderful thing], after experiencing trauma and someone gives credit to the trauma they are discounting the fact that, that is the part of the individual deep down that they retained not because of the trauma but in spite of the trauma. I don't believe we should "give credit to", the trauma for the good that you'd worked towards, in your adult life, despite having gone through traumatic things. Laura gets the credit for that, for who Laura worked to be, and accomplish, for the light inside that the trauma didn't extinguish, that light "is the true you" according to some trauma experts. I also feel as though although people would ideally like to not be effected "by work", most I have talked to are effected by work to some compacity, despite their best efforts and the statistics on social media effecting anxiety/depression in women are high. All this to say, you both are valid in disliking the negative feedback when your work is social media. I feel as though your comittment to peaceful co-parenting is admirable. In regards to Stephen: Someone can get stuck in an ego state,surrounding a situation that triggers toxic shame(like this divorce and his internalizing it on himself) where someone has core beliefs and they aren't receptive to any information outside of their view. The view I am referring to, is his belief, in "staying together will make it better", that is why his mind won't register an outside or different view on this, is the core to the toxic shame, needs processed with a professional (in either toxic shame/addiction or trauma) so he can effectively "let go". Its his work, for himself. The grace and respectful communication in this video, shows leaps and bounds,about those who have worked on their respective ends. Even as Stephen seems in a vulnerable place where the input of others clearly sways him and effects his thinking patterns.
YES! I had to be DRAGGED into our apt when I was 6 to,”meet” my new step dad. He was a monster. I suffered abuse from him, he broke my arm over a bag of chips, I could go on. They finally divorced when I was 20. All the abuse had happened to our family. So bad. So severe. I love you Laura.
Oh my god that’s terrible. I also suffered a monster like that growing up all the way until I was 21 and my disabled brother had to be the other subject of his pain and he suffered along with me until we finally got released from him. I am so saddened to hear this it breaks my heart. Stay strong like you already have been ❤
I’m not shocked about any of this. And truthfully I came here to actually see if one of the situations would be brought up I fast forwarded to halfway in and Laura is getting emotional about the hate she gets. And then he compares the hate he gets to what she gets. First of all.. it shouldn’t be a competition.. hate period isn’t cute. Don’t try to one up her. That’s weird. Second of all.. he’s getting more hate because he’s making content being disrespectful to kindhearted people simply because they are TRANS. He continuously misgenders people and talks down on those who live differently simply because he doesn’t agree with the lifestyle. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to support it, but going out of your way to be discriminatory in your content will IN 2023 NO LESS.. will absolutely get your ass handed to you. She’s supportive of people. And that’s the kind of person you should aim to be. I am glad, however, they are both growing and focusing on their children first and doing it the best way they can by being apart, that’s a very smart mature decision.
I just hope he doesn't pass the hate to her children.. I don't consider him their father anymore. He's too radicalized and too far gone to be a father and a responsible role model. Kids don't need to hear CRAZY from their father.
@@karmakamille1988 honestly that was so wild to see. All the sudden I’m having to do a double take because I’m not sure if I’m seeing things correctly and it’s actually Steven acting this ways. so wild tbh.
It’s a bit disappointing that Laura was discussing how some of his radical followers attacking her and he brought it back to himself saying that he gets attacked by “Liberals” far more. But he missed the point that it’s HIS followers attacking her…
31:42 Laura's face when Stephen said that if you divorce after 10 years of marriage you're an idiot broke my heart! Her poor face while he was laughing it's just too much! Laura, I wish you and your kids all the best! ❤
He was repeating something he was told. You can repeat something without it automatically defaulting to him calling her an idiot. And you'll notice he had a 10 year marriage prior to her, as well.
I've found listening to this that Laura is playing the victim and takes no accountability for the failure of this relationship. Very shitty attitude...YOU, YOU, YOU...ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS. ME, ME, ME... Hopefully they can get 50/50 placement so Laura won't guilt trip Stephen constantly. 🙄
@@ChristinaFromRU-vid I'm not going to be able to fully inform you of their entire history, especially with the amount of BS that's happened since then, in a comment section but he went from being sad and wanting his family back to being one of the most angry, confrontational, and hateful people I have ever seen online.
Wishing you both the best. I no longer follow Stephen because I don’t share his views, and I’m just not interested in what he has to say. But, I want you both to be well and raise your beautiful children.
@@baruch2602just absolutely sad. He was making skits cross dressing and making fun of and showing much hate to the LGBT+ community and for Trans people. His fan base was eating it up talking about how much they hate Trans people and just becoming a MAGAt. Watching his Mental health spiral down. I had to unsubscribe to him his content became scary and ghoulish. It's very sad I used to like and respect him.
I'm also going through a messy breakup. We had 1 child together and we are going through court with joint custody. Watching you both speak on the topic has helped me with the lonely side of it. Watching you both voice your sides of coping and your ups and downs has helped me relate so much. I know you both say this has been such a public divorce. But at least you're also helping some of us out here going through it as well. Keep up the good work. I have been a long-time fan of the both of you!
I feel this. It is so - heartbreaking - but also very beautiful. Some people just are not a good match. I love that you are great friends and co-parents. That is a blessing to your kids and yourselves. Maybe it's the best outcome.
@@kimberlysalvage8670I think she's ignoring it to survive. I don't want to judge her because I can't even imagine the trauma of dealing with this person and having children with them.
Love you guys! This podcast made me cry. I respect how you handled this conversation and life change and how you are putting the kids first and still keeping a friendship and good co-parenting relationship.
I've been watching your videos since I was in college. I would show my boyfriend your videos, lol. Yesterday, I just found out about the divorce. My boyfriend and I were very shocked and saddened by it. I do remember seeing some of the problems you've addressed in the video. I'm glad you're both still friends and are able to talk about things. The way you talk about your kids is amazing they are so lucky to have you guys. Also, I love the positivity twords one another. I hope you both continue to grow and work on yourselves. I'm not trying to be rude, but I do think Steven needs more time to self reflect. I think this time away will be good for you both. We love you both! ❤️
Stephen, I'm so impressed with your personal growth in every way. You remind me of junior Russell Brand. Keep up the progress and process of finding what makes you comfortable and fulfilled. I watched you two years ago and quit abruptly for a particular Instagram post. But you came up randomly on RU-vid about the divorce...and wow... your transformation is fantastic. So proud of you. Subscribing now.
Its so sad because you can see that you genuinely love each other but sometimes love isn't enough. I wish you both happiness in this challenging journey, wherever it leads. ❤
You are correct. You also have to choose to put your kids first. Choose to get along for your kids. Choose to get counseling and stop fighting for your kids. Don’t make your kids split their time between parents.
@nellybelly623 ya but if one person's choosing to not see they have issues it doesn't matter how much the other one works on themselves. Divorce sucks but sometimes it's better for everyone to not be together 🙃
They need God. I went from living in the chaos of the unknown, in a dead-end and not always feeling safe marriage with kids who witnessed it all. In less than 3 months after finding God, he honors and respects me and treats me better than I ever imagined. Better than he ever has in the almost 15 years we have been together. Redemption is possible for anyone and everyone. Especially the severely lost. You just have to open your heart and soul to the goodness of God's love and grace. Believing in God is believing in love. True and unconditional love. It changes you from the inside out and makes you a better person than you could have ever hoped to be on your own. Glory to God!
@@clintonanthony5905 it sounds like Stephen was weak and meeting culture rules for promoting the women and pushing men to the back supporting role. That’s not healthy for families and goes against Gods design. He has had an awakening after being involved with a meme church weekend. Christ is manly and we need strong manly men as heads of household…. He’s finally ready to learn that proper role.
Laura you are so well spoken and I appreciate your insight. I wish my mother had been thoughtful enough to see that her happiness and view points mattered enough to exist outside the bounds of a marriage. The toxic relationship my parents had has made it impossible for me to have a relationship with my father as a grown woman when they only just recently divorced. You are amazing and this will be so good for your children and yourself. Good things will come.
I am so proud of you Stephen you took this time and found yourself and found your happiness. You are expanding your circle and beliefs. I believe in God and I believe God is going to use you to do big things for you and your family. You sitting there talking with Laura your soon to be ex wife and y’all are being so respectful to each other ppl don’t do that anymore. You have grown so much. Also so proud of you both for putting your kids first because they deserve the best of both you. You both are doing amazing work ❤ Edit: how come you can’t do joint custody? You both seem to want as much time as possible with your kids and I sense a little hesitation about that with Laura.
Laura, you’re stronger than you know. Your way w Stephen was delicate & understanding. I don’t know if I could be that way…& I’m openminded & try to be a nonjudgmental person. He’s been behaving in ways that would truly be embarrassing to me. And I’d worry bout what my kids are hearing. But I see how much you want a peaceful co-parenting situation.
As a child of divorce I want to stress that sometimes it IS the right thing to do. My parents were teen parents and felt they had to get married because it was the “right” thing to do. They divorced when I was four and I have said time and time again that I’m so glad my parents separated because all they did was fight and hurt each other. They both always said that they loved and respected each other more when they divorced. It’s not true for everyone but it IS true very often. I’m 28 now and have a beautiful relationship with each of my parents individually and they still ask about each other and love each other. We’re still a family, it’s just different :) Just wanted to throw in my personal experience after seeing you guys wanting input. Love you guys and at the end of the day it’s what is best for YOUR family. Always best to try to keep an open mind and heart.❤
It's very interesting hearing his perception of himself while in the relationship and post relationship. It definitely seems like it was a building up thing.
Laura you are so strong and I admire you so much. I have been a huge fan of yours for years and now even more so. I too am going thru a divorce after 10 years of marriage. My husband like yours had participated in the “men’s weekend” away to be the best “husband and father”. Since he went our lives have been turned upside down! He was doing meetings for almost a year in the woods and then went on a retreat. He is unrecognizable and he can’t talk about his weekend away. Yet another secret in our marriage we can not navigate thru! I wish you all the luck and will continue to watch your journey. Xo I love when you asked about the fire pit!! 🤣
I am a product of a divorce have one child and am divorced and the only thing I would suggest is that please don't let the third party who ever does show up to be your partner come in between the relationship of your parenting
I wish I was as cool-headed and understanding as Laura. If anyone can get through this absolutely impossible situation it is her. Her kids are so incredibly lucky.
Right?! The only way I will watch Stephen is with Laura in this kind of space in her videos… i cannot watch him anymore. I don’t mind the vaccine stuff, I just can’t handle all his hate. I feel for her. Her tears. She’s incredibly mature. ❤❤❤
All of the liberals sound like they are reading off of a telemarketer script, “Stephens mentally ill, he’s having an episode, he’s a hater, he’s dangerous and unstable, no wonder why Laura divorced him”. It’s like they’ve all been plugged into AI and they’ve turned into cyborgs. They are all falsely accusing Stephen because they are so threatened that he has a mind of his own and has rebelled against the hive-mind mentality. It’s so creepy!
All the comments seem to congratulate both of your adult civilized attitude, what I see is this is not going to work, it won’t last it seems, all this politeness is all pretend, I’m sorry but that’s what I find here… there’s a load of tension here.
I was 2yrs old when my parents divorced, I believe that they were married for almost 10yrs too. They harboured so much resentment towards each other, and I always felt that. I think the hardest part for myself and my older sister, was they both went on to remarry and have 1 child more each. It really made us both feel unwanted. Anyway, my dad is dead now as he drank himself to death, and all my mum can say is nice things about him and regret for divorcing him.
Good for Laura for pointing out that she’s not Stephen’s mother. The people telling her to do something about him are extremely controlling and ridiculous. Some people need to get a grip.
I completely agree. But u also have to understand that because these two were married most people are seeing his content and are wondering" is this what Laura is really like?"
100% I am autistic and so are 2 of my brothers. None of us are vaccinated. My mother received no vaccinations. My son is autistic and also didn't receive vaccinations. He's extremely unwell mentally.
Perhaps there is autism and then perhaps there is vaccine damage (actual thing) and perhaps some vaccine damage symptoms can present similar to autism symptoms. A family member of mine has a nephew whose family is being compensated for vaccine damage and he has autistic like symptoms.
Very sad to watch. You are both clearly hurting and both look so full of sadness, regret and confusion. Which is completely normal and understandable but its still sad. I hope you are able to continue to be amicable and can remain close. The pain will gradually heal and you'll both move on but try and stay close for your kids.
Good on you Laura for putting your foot down when he mentioned staying together for the kids. I have seen that attitude cause so much trauma in people close to me. A friend of mine recently got divorced and his kids are THRIVING in ways they weren't before. The tension in the home was causing behavior issues, their grades were slipping and now that mom and dad have split and they're figuring out coparenting the kids are doing so much better.
