Thanks for posting this video! Sleep training is such a bad word in the crunchy momma world but I’m just here to say - gentle sleep training is THE WAY TO GO. I’ve co-slept for 9 months and the sleep deprivation is not working anymore. We’re about to start the Sleep Lady Shuffle (same method you used) after feeling so guilty for wanting to sleep train. But if you’re a momma who isn’t sleeping and it’s messing up your life, it’s way better for your little babes to have a rested and happy momma than a sleep deprived, depressed, irritable one.
Our daughter turns 2 next week and we are slowly starting to talk to her about sleeping in der own room. She will be involved in setting up her new bed, a cozy corner, lamps, accessories and all of that and hopefully she’ll be excited to try! And then I’ll follow your tips lol!! Thank you for the video
This was my same experience. I was bedsharing for two years and my daughter still woke every hour or 2. I was miserable. We worked with littlezsleep, but the program sounds very similar. No cry it out, it was gradual. Remember, you're a mother not a martyr. You will be the best mother if you take care of yourself and your relationship. 💜💜💜
Okay… anyone else feel like they are never going to stop cosleeping? Ughh these decisions are SO hard! I feel so much guilt and sadness thinking about my son not sleeping with us anymore, but I don’t know what to do when a new baby comes. 😩
Okay so I have a question for you! I’ve heard of slowly moving away from the bed. Currently I am stuck cuddling my 18 month old to sleep. She grabs my hands with an iron grip and won’t let go until she’s asleep. My question: Did she keep getting out of bed when you moved out of the bed? My girly will sit right up and get out of bed if I take my hands away but remain in bed with her. And she’s so smart but doesn’t choose (i am assuming) to listen to “you have to stay in your bed” or anything like that
Could you gradually change it? So, instead of letting her grab your hand, allow her to have your hand on top of hers, then next to hers, then just lying next to her, then further away. Etc. And keep resetting to the step you've decided on?
Do you have Turkish or Arabic background? Aliyah and Ezme are popular names in that part of the world. My family is from Palestine, and my name is Aaliyah; when I was in school in rural Minnesota, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was bullied to the point of suicide for my looks and my name. But I see many modern white people giving those names to their kids without acknowledging systemic racism is still present in society. I hope that's not the case with you.
Just started cosleeping with my first, he is 3 weeks old, I have set a reminder to rewatch this video in a year in case I feel it's time to compassionately sleep train like you have done. Amazing video thank you for all that you do.
We coslept with our first for about five months, when I realized he was sleeping in his crib during naps better than he slept at night in our bed I transitioned him into his own bed at night and he started sleeping 4 to 5 hour blocks more soundly than I thought he ever slept in our bed. I really wanted to co sleep for longer but he apparently actually really likes his own bed!
Can anyone recommend any free resources for a similar method? I am not from the us, and 100 dollars is extremely expensive... our 2.5 year old spends at least and hour and a half being put to sleep by mum/dad or both... i just cant do this anymore
I am curious....did you go back to co sleeping after this? The timeline of you videos seems like you have. Is that the case? If so what are your reasons behind that decision if you don't mind sharing. I am in the middle of deciding to night ween. Currently pregnant with baby #2 and feel lost with how to get my first not to nurse to sleep. Let alone sleep in their own room. I know there's no way I can do both kids all night long and still get sleep myself. I'd love more resources for night weening. Weening in general. And stopping co sleeping. Perhaps you can do a podcast episode or episodes with hour full realistic experiences or interview some specialists in this area. I feel can't find hardly any information around breaking co sleeping..... Needless to say this whole phase of things gives me a good deal of anxiety! I hate making her distressed or hearing her cry for prolonged periods. Sorry for such a long post! Hope to hear back from you ❤ Thanks Shayla
I love this! Congratulations girl. I am on baby #3 and don't regret sleep training for a second. It's not for everyone but it is for our family. I do NOT believe in cry it out and I feel like that stigma is associated with all sleep training. I feel like when you do it from the beginning, it helps my babies get enough to eat more than anything. I breastfeed on a schedule (yes that means waking them up for the first little bit) and I'm also flexible to nurse on demand. I rock to settle them down but I always lay them down almost asleep, but not sleeping. Feed wake sleep works well for us.
I just booked the 15 min session with your lady for tmr! Thank you. I did buy the sleep lady bo ok that talks about the sleep lady shuffle and tried on my own and last night was a NIGHTMARE. Never heard my toddler cry so much in his life and I ended up sleeping in his bed with him for several hours due to my exhaustion after like the 5th wake up. You talked mostly about falling asleep being your issue, ours is staying asleep. Hoping this helps. Feeling REAL defeated today after last night.
Thank you for this video, it is so helpful. I have a 20 month old daughter and I have been always postponing the sleep training but today when I AGAIN couldn’t put her down to sleep for over an hour, I said to my self that I am going to start with it right now. And it went so well! But what do I do if she wakes up in the middle of the night? I still nurse her and would like to until she is 2 years old. Should I do the same process when she wakes up at night?
I appreciate you and this video so much! It's such a relief to finally find someone who nurses to sleep, cosleeps, uses a floorbed AND has used a sleep training method to help their toddler to sleep. This is exactly what I was looking for, we have tried your method and it has helped so much!! Thank you!!
Congratulations!!! 🍾 🥰 Shayla, thank you so much for this! 👏🏼I’m expecting my second in 3 months and have a 2.5 year old son whom I breastfed to sleep until he was 16 months old. It’s so interesting how you can read and research til eternity and at the end of the day - literally - your child is unique, your situation is unique. What works for others may not work for you. We did the whole sleep training, gently, at 5 months, lasted until the next sleep regression couple months later. Fast forward, at 2 years old my husband or I would lay with him on his floor bed (that he’s been in since 7 mo), until he fell asleep. My husband actually slept on a mattress in his room next to him for two months in my first exhausting trimester so that I could sleep without being awoken by our son middle of night when he wanted only me. Long story, this is super helpful as we gear up for baby #2. Thankfully we are at the point where he is sleeping in his room through the night and comforting himself back to sleep (we leave a water bottle by his bed and he often takes a sip middle of night and puts it back down). But our efforts at getting him to fall asleep independently have thus far failed. So this method gives us something clear cut to work with. Will try it and if it goes sour, will definitely reach out to your sleep consultant. Thank you thank you! 🤍
I didn’t sleep train my 19 year old. We coslept until she was like 7.. I did not love it. I did sleep training at 9 months with my second child - it was amazing. I also think my 2nd child loves the independence and sleeping alone in her bed. ❤
This was sooo helpful. I recently found out that I’m pregnant and our toddler co sleep with us. She does not like sleeping in her bed. We did do the read a book and sitting in her room til she fell asleep but we wasn’t consistent with it. So know I know I have to be consistent to make it work.
I love this video I can’t wait to try it out with my 16 month old son. My daughter is 4 and sleeps independently. My son uses a pacifier only for naps and bedtime. I want to gradually remove it. What should I do first? HELP😊
I can totally relate to this with my almost 2 year old. But we’ve tried sleep training gently a bunch of different times and different ways. Even hired a sleep consultant. They helped some, but man my kid is persistent. At least we now have him in his own room and falling asleep easier (not an hour anymore as often), but my husband still has to sleep with him from about midnight til morning. I’m not new to this either - I sleep trained gently (gradual retreat) as a nanny a few times before having my own.
Okay, what did she have for naps? I did this same thing after seeing your video and reading the happy sleeper and it was a total game changer. He reliably sleeps through the night now and he never did once the first 18-19 months. However, I still can’t get him to nap without driving and even that doesn’t work all the time anymore. I’d think he was just done napping, but he’s not even 2. How did you get yours to nap? Maybe it’s partly because he’s non-verbal, but he just won’t sleep when the sun is up.
Also look at how many hours of sleep he gets in a 24 hr period. He might not be tired. Aj is 2.5 and gets about 11.5 hrs in 24 hrs. Rarely naps at home and sometimes dies at daycare. But girl has always just needed less Sleep
I would love to know what Aaliyah’s bed is like now that she’s sleeping there on her own. Is it still on the floor? Is it a crib mattress or a twin? My son moves around so much in the night I’m nervous to have him sleeping on his own in case he falls out of bed but I’m coming to the end of what I can handle with co-sleeping and hour long put downs
Hey so your one of the few people I know that also bed shared and breastfeed. Do you think breastfeeding your little one to sleep past 1 made it harder to sleep train? My son is almost one and I love the connection of nursing him to sleep and how peaceful he is going to sleep that way but I’m scared it’ll make it harder when we finally do sleep train him. Any advice?
I needed this! I have yet to fully commit to sleep training. My 17 month old has recently started sleeping with me because I got so sick of getting up to soothe her. Idk if it’s the 18 month regression or leap 10 or teething or what, but she nurses ALL NIGHT LONG. And if I try to refuse nursing her she flips out and throws a tantrum and then I just give in. I’m totally at a loss as to how to fix it. It’s so hard to stick to your plan in the middle of the night.
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been on the fence about it. Have you read any books that walk through this more gentle sleep training method? There’s almost too much info out there and not sure who to trust!
There's a book called 'the happy sleeper' where they basically describe what you just said. Very helpful if you don't want to pay someone or just to start :)
If you have a newborn, I highly recommend takingcarababies newborn class "will I ever sleep again?" - I took the course when my son was 6 weeks old, and then I bought Cara's pdf for months 4-5.. There is no crying involved. The class literally just gives parents a technique and helps set up babies for healthy sleep habits from the beginning. He started sleeping through the night (10-ish hrs) around 4-5months old. He is turning 1 in a couple of weeks and I have only had to enter his room at night once since he turned 5 months old. Fingers crossed and knock on wood for the toddler years to come.
