My wife and I have been married for 41 years. I can’t imagine what it would be like without her. That being said, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the same room ALL OF THE TIME! With a toddler. Working under deadlines with over a million people judging your product and comment only a keystroke away. On a rocking boat. Doing watch and watch while sailing. Maintaining an ocean-going yacht where everything that breaks costs twice as much to fix (or much more) than a house on land. That is a lot of stress. A lot of little stresses, and some big stresses that pile up and compound. Dealing with officious officials in port, overcoming language barriers and slow internet. Shopping for food where the labels are incomprehensible. Trying to operate a non-profit business with global supply chain issues during a global business stoppage. Having to always be “ready for your closeup” on camera. Living with interrupted sleep cycles. Just as La Vaga needs to be hauled out for maintenance, so does a partnership. Thanks for doing the hard work to produce this content, and thank you for sharing with us, both the smooth sailing and the rough. EDIT. Wow, Riley/Elayna, and everyone, thanks for the positive replies, being part of this community is wonderful.
Honestly, we'd all respect you guys if you wanted to take a digital break. Your 'mental load' is most probably astronomically high, especially with the sheer amount of effort you guys put in to creating content to please the masses. We as the audience aren't privy to half of the organising and background admin work you guys do, and I can imagine your list of things to do only grows rather than shrinks. HUGE respect and love from me, please take time to just be people x
Great idea-take a digital break and instead of posting send a link to a podcast or something you want us to watch. A meditation series...a free yoga teaching. Have you all been keeping up with your yoga.!
Katie said it well. Maybe you feel you have obligations to keep up? Lennie is the piece that you have added and that needs to fit in with all you are doing. I see many people implode after children come along. Many times it is the massive amount of energy a little one takes. If family is most important then maybe we can see fewer videos and deal with it. Nothing is more important than your happiness. Thanks for all the great footage and you have complete control over how much you work at it. Kudos to you both.
Riley, thanks for speaking up about mental health. It's really important for men to hear from other men who are struggling. Society is still way too focused on gender roles and men being tough all the time.
I love this. Been with my partner since I was 17 over 20 years now and two kids later. Always take time apart mini vacay or even just get away for a day. It’s got to be hard being on top of each other all the time. But good on you both for all that your doing for your mental health ❤️
I know this was some time ago now, but thought I'd say thanks for your honesty, ultimately that is what this world that's saturated with social media (aka ´the highlight reel´) really needs. Something I have learnt over the years is how important diversity is in our lives, which is probably why people like us are attracted to a life on the water! But even that can become ´all consuming´ at times.. and a break from sailing and time apart becomes essential. I know now you are currently ramping up for the build/launch of the new boat, and I can imagine you are in the midst of a high pressure and extremely stressful time!! maybe I'm wrong, and I'm sure there's a lot of excitement too.. But just so you both know all of us here are behind you every step of the way. So if you feel like you both need some time away from filming and editing and putting your lives on show whilst you focus finishing the boat I am certain all of us will completely support you both in that decision. Just do what's best for you guys and your little family. Take care of yourselves, much love and fair winds... Jimmy X
“You’re probably sick of me banging on” - not at all. Being real is one of the many reasons we all tune in, and there’s no limit or restrictions on that. ❤️ It’s hard enough feeling down, let alone broadcasting it to the world in the the hope it will help others.. I can promise you it does, so thankyou.
Exactly what I was gonna say. Thank you for your vulnerability to share the hard stuff with your viewers. We want the best for you guys and if space is what ya need were here for it :)
Great video! I agree - so real. We’re all going through a lot these days and I’m glad to see you’re taking care and time for each other and yourselves.
Having a child will put a massive stress on any relationship never mind that you all live in a boat with little time for your own space.......please dont let resentment creep in once it does it's a difficult journey to bring it back on track...good luck guys
Sailing, life, companion, years of social networking, all can be very exhausting. May be you were giving an impression of being the perfect sailing mates etc. I often wondered whether something was lurking in your spirit. I can hear in your voice, especially these last few months. It's good you are speaking about this, and remember your not alone. No one is perfect and low moments can happen just like high times. We are all here for a short while, Keep track on positivity, and your beautiful family and life🥰🙏
SO TRUE, PAUL: YOUR COMMENT IS RIGHT ON POINT. RILEY AND ELAYNA: your followers like myself are here to help you. Others DO NOT matter. I am sure your Donors will agree.
Really agree that especially young men should speak up. My close mates and I all sat around a fire not long ago and all talked about our anxieties, our fears, and what we worry about. We are all at the age of 19 and I'm so happy that we are starting to get comfortable enough to talk about these things together.
Jahvis Loveday Bless you and your friends. Thank you for sharing your story. What most politicians forget is that medical care includes mental health. Mental health issues are NOT a sign of weakness. They are a sign of being a normal human, experiencing ups and downs. Please vote and volunteer to support mental health initiatives.
Don't forget that this Covid-19 situation has also had a huge impact on everyone's mental health worldwide. That on top of everything else you are experiencing as a couple and parents makes it that much harder.
I've watched hundreds of you're videos, starting with the first old La Vaga. They helped pass the time pretending I was in paradise while I was rehabbing a torn ACL. I've never commented before, but as a husband, father of two, and a human, I deeply respect both of you for opening up and sharing your experience with this issue. You're not alone. Life is a beautiful, messy struggle. All my best to you guys.
I have been married for 40 years to my beautiful wife. This year during the Covid lockdown in Texas, we were spending our first Winter in our RV. It was awful to have no where to go, no outlet. So I started working on me. I went for bike rides darn near daily, and it was magical. We are still happily married. Everyone hits those times when you need to get away. It is great that you recognize it. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Much love to you two, you have entertained me for years. Long may you love.
Going through the terrible 2s, 3s, and 4s with a child are very challenging. Elaina can't do it alone, not if you want a healthy child. Having time apart is all good but Elaina needs time off to reconnect and balance herself also without toddler in tow. I think, docking and giving Elaina time free from all baby and baby daddy activities would be truly beneficial for her psyche too. More so, if mum thinks she doesn't need it.
Raising a child alone is perfectly acceptable and although not ideal, will not rear an unhealthy child. Many, many successful people were raised by one parent. That is not the issue here. Everyone needs their own space. This couple is phenomenal and doing everything right..
Exactly. I have to convince my girlfriend to let me take the son alone sometimes because she can't let go. But it is important. Now he is almost 2 and we can really hang out. The pandemic actually brought me and the boy closer.
I’m a mother of three and I agree. I’m in a nice comfortable home with my kids and it’s as child proof as I can get it and I am overwhelmed. I can’t imagine a toddler on a boat. She needs a break for sure.
Agree I raised 2 children on my own one is 26yrs o,d and the other 19yrs old. It was so very hard on me now I have many health issues however the closeness my kids are to me is priceless ! I had to be mother and father, parenting is for life!
Completely understandable. I also think Elyna should get a day away from Lenny as having a baby around isn't getting her own space needed to self reflect while a baby is talking away. Even in this video you can see who's had a more relaxing time. You both live in a small space, it's great your having some time. Elyna you look so beautiful but your eyes have a look of exhaustion, please have a day to yourself with a girlfriend or yourself. Sending hugs to you both, making sure you reconnect and have alot of cuddles after your space. Sorry if I said to much, hope your well and thank you for showing us your life. 🥰 You both sailing a boat with a filming job and a toddler. Give yourselves a pat on the back you both do great things. Xx
Thanks for your openess. A word or two from an old guy who has been through some stuff. I have been married 52 years and have along the way suffered some serious stuff. For example we lost our son, our only child, when he was only 19 in an auto accident. That threw us into depression. My wife went on antidepressents and I took the typical male route and stuffed my grief. It eventually caught up with me and several years later I went into depression and went on anidepressents. A couple of observations. Antidepressents are helpful but eventually you need to work out your new reality and figure out how to go on. I quit taking the antidepressents because they not only took the lows away but they took the highs away and I missed the joy that I had lost. In going through what we did and being careful to observe what it was that helped us turn things around we discovered that we got better when we stopped focusing on ourselves and started helping others. Unfortunately there are many folks who have suffered losses like ours. They are hurting and in need of an understanding ear. We learned to be good listeners but we also read and went to conferences and learned how to help those who are depressd because of loss. we spoke at grief conferences, we hosted a grief group, and sat for many hours with hurting people. When you suffer the kind of loss we did you discover that there are those, who like first responders, come rushing in to help and there are those who run for cover. It would have been easy to say that those who helped were our real friends and those who ran for cover weren’t but the truth is everyone did what they were capable of at the moment. It took us a couple of years after the loss of our son to get to the place we could start helping others. We are Biblical Christians and believe that happiness comes about from our circumstances but joy is a decission we can make that will allow us a possitive outlook in the worst of circumstances. This has gone too long but one more thought. The last 15 years of our marriage we have been together 24/7. They have been the best years of our lives because we have stayed focused on helping others and becoming better at it as a couple. I’m thinking what you two might need is a babybsitter and a couple of nights in a hotel. Keep working at it. You have much to give and Lenny needs both of you. in the meantime those of us who enjoy the content you share with us will be praying for you. Best wishes.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have children so have never experienced the loss of one but I have experienced severe depression and I know that it is not an easy battle to fight your way out of. Thank you for sharing your story and for helping others through the darkness. Bless you and your wife💓
@TRUMP 2020 hate to hear that. Your wife must B AFRAID to be alone, or very insecure. I am better at being alone. I wish to find a man tht realizes ALONE time IS healthy!
When times at “home” are tough... I always find it helpful to think of all the people who are in a much worse situation who have much less, who don’t know where their next meal is coming from or a roof over their head. And I’m thankful for what I have and who I have even though it’s not much. So sometimes it’s nice to reflect and see what you actually have, a beautiful family your health and an amazing catamaran that can take you all around the world. It may seem simple but like you said giving is a bigger gift to yourself... and see what you have through others eyes is a gift in itself. Especially during this pandemic I’m staying home and staying in because I’m in a hotspot in the United States where people aren’t taking this seriously, and you’re out there exploring the world and enjoying yourselves. So I hope you can see what you have and just be thankful and when little things annoy you or bother you about each other try to look at the big scope of the world and realize that you’re living in virtual paradise...With a beautiful beautiful little boy
Rearing children isn't easy, particularly when they go through the terrible 2's which can certainly put pressure on a marriage relationship for sure, maybe more so on a confined boat.
Thats exactly what I think. As rewarding as children can be, it's really the most challenging part of a parents life especially those in a confined space.
I appreciate your honesty. I think the comments that are disregarding Rileys recent sadness are out of touch and unfair. He has as much right as Elayna to have periods of low mood and difficulty. From what I have seen, they work as a team, and this time Elayna has been tagged in. Next time it might be Riley who is tagged in. A sign of an incredibly healthy relationship, regardless of the difficulties being experienced.xx
I'm in my 70s and suffered with Depression all my life even got to the stage of hanging myself, the only thing that stopped me was my Dear Wife finding my body, I asked for help and I got it, every day isn't Rosey but tomorrow is always better. You've done a great Series to the young men of today to bring this to the forefront Bless You all on the Vagabond I Love the Vids.
I really really really appreciate it when "influencers" (I only put quotes bc you did) show the reality of their lives. It's so important for us as humans, young people especially, to have real role models; so often people are comparing their lives to the lives they see on screen and that in and of itself can lead to depression. Life is messy, and not always perfection... although I would say even the mess is perfect. :) Does Elayna ever get alone time without the kidlet? That's ALSO important. Love you guys! ♥
There is a reason why on every flight safety talk they say "in the event of a loss of cabin pressure masks will drop from the ceiling PLEAS E PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK BEFORE ATTENDING TO OTHERS" You guys are parents so you owe to your child to be selfish about your own well being, you cannot offer Lenny the support , guidance & attention he deserves unless you are both healthy mentally & physically. The steps you have taken to relieve the pressures of marriage, parenthood & working together are commendable, sensible & necessary. It may also be worth considering getting grandparents involved with Lenny's care for a short time to give you both the opportunity to focus on each other. Remember it takes a village to raise a child & that goes the same for everyone, its cliche but true that "nothing worth doing is ever easy" I wish you all the luck, love & happiness you deserve.
i havn't spoken to my wife in years either, i didn't want to interrupt her. she also told me i wasn't very vocal in bed. sorry dear but i lose my voice after all the pleading to get you here in the first place.
"I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." Rilke PS No one here would object if you took a pause from producing films to spend time healing and coming together. Everyone, on one level or another, is experiencing a sense of stress and compression that effects their relationships and lives. Sending a lot of gratitude and support your way.
Being in a small confined space with one person all the time is hard but then to throw a toddler into the mix its definitely a whole other story. Take the time off you need, take time apart when you need it because family and your relationship is so important ❤️
This was not unexpected. You ultimately went solo to begin with and bumped into this amazing person which changed your perspective. You're a great couple that brings out a lot in each other. Glad you're being open about it and hope you resolve it in a way you're both happy with. Lenny is all that matters as parents now and that's another big adjustment! Lots of love from the UK x Lenny's food review haha!
Hi “Riley, Elayna” and Lenny, you are human after all, this was suspected, you live in a pressure cooker a 45ft one. The balance you have communicated gives an important insight to all relationships, thank you for the honesty. You never fully appreciate the good times, until you weigh them against unsettled times. These unsettled times are the opportunities and are times of growth. For you each can grow from witnessing, respecting and looking to understand the others perspective. Introspectively witnessing your own perspective - maybe you write down your actions and thoughts from an objective perspective and be strong enough to see the others perspective, again write this down and share what you have written. This is tough stuff, this honestly will enlighten you to each other. When the relationship wins you both win. I read the word “compromise” is an earlier comment, this is of course the precursor to the relationship winning. Space is important, reflection is important, introspection is important and honest communication is important. Be kind to yourselves and to each other, be aware when and open to do both. Tough times never last tough people do. Tough people work hard and hang tight, the sun will arise again and appreciate it more than ever you will. As you both appear to love read/listen, Riley and Elayna if I can recommend a Book, it is called “First you need to row a little boat” by Richard Bode, I think you will like it. There is a sequel, “Beachcombers at Miramar” Best of wishes. The Portuguese Wallaby Down Under
That was a very mature expressive depiction about problems close familiarity can impose on a relationship. Particularly the points you pointed out about the familiarity of your life on a boat with a new baby. Wanting time alone is not rejecting your partner, it is merely finding and affirming your position in the world you have both created. I have been married 52 years and always worked with my husband, so know how a life of familiarity at all levels can cause times of needing to find one’s personal self.
If you only new how many folks you have helped get through their C-19 quaratine by virtually sailing with you, you would be amazed. Thank you for sharing ALL of your life. Always be true to yourself and those you love. Meditation is amazing and something we all should do ". . . may I free suffering creatures and place them in bliss ~ may the compationate spirit of love grow within me ~ that I may complete the enlightening path . . . " You are all giving so much to so many . . . Thank you
I'm constantly confronted with the mental projection I have of what living on a boat would be like and what it really is and they are not the same thing. Through the incongruence I see more clearly.
I can’t imagine how tough it is doing all you do but you are loved, appreciated and have so much support. Thank you for being the realest, most honest versions of yourselves and showing the raw side of your lives that other influencers don’t. You’re so appreciated and you add so much happiness and inspiration into my life. Thank you for taking the time and putting in even more work than you already do to make these videos. Love you guys. Stay safe❤️
You two are an example of how to handle all that life throws at you. The world pandemic is NO help, and having a toddler just increases the intensity. Thank you for sharing; it’s important.
Few weeks apart and You be happy again .25 years of marriage experience lol.But one Advise Rilley, She need Break from kid to ,Keep Lenny For few days so she can Get away and Clear her head .Best of luck
I have the same with my girlfriend and our son who is the same age as Lenny in the video. But it is very hard for the mother to leave her child, even for a day. I have to convince my girlfriend to let me take the boy for some hours so she can be alone. And every time of course she is very happy and rested when we return. But the next time i have to fight her to get the boy again haha.
TBH, been married 34 years with 2 kids, never needed time away. I would guess this lifestyle had to end once you had a baby. It's not fare to deprive Lenny of a normal childhood, might be time to drydock the boat, get a regular job and focus on the family. Lenny can never go to school, have friends, ride a bike and all the great stuff that makes up a childhood. The ocean will always be there, your son is only little for a short time, don't waste it!
@@beerhammer1881 they can do the as they visit islands, They can Ride bikes or Have fire on beach .You be suprise how big Yachting Community is ,40% have kids with them And they become friends For life .Unfortunately Do to Covid19 Lots plans or even gathering is prohibited so They having hard time to enjoy themselves.Things will get better and Happiness will return. Why will they want get regular job ? They make 10x more doing this then Most people working on land .Cheers
Bambeakz well, if we don’t have oxygen, we don’t have a family. So no problems! I think God gave us everything we need. Including oxygen. And if you think mankind has enough influence to destroy all the oxygen.... your a nutty one! 🤣
Reading so many “mental happiness” books can be tricky at times. I honestly believe some of those outside influences can make one see problems that aren’t really a problem at all so to say. Everyone needs time apart especially when you coexist in a small space. Being apart from one another gives your head and heart the openness to think about those wonderful little things that made the other person so perfect to you in the first place❤️
A problem for me in many relationships is that I'm introverted. It's not that I don't like you it's that when I'm alone I recharge. I enjoy peace and solidarity but many don't understand it and think I'm just being un caring.
A deep Thank You for sharing. It's all a journey, eh?: ups/downs; winds/no winds: inhale/exhale....even the pause between the breaths. We're all lucky to be here, through it all. Lots of love. xoxoxox
I'm glad you are starting to speak out about the hard times and mental health. My wife and I have been together for nearly 11 years, we've lived aboard our 41ft mono for the last 2.5 years and of those 2.5, theres been a full refit going on from full bulkhead replacements to floor stringers to entire settee builds to entire gutting of wiring and installing new DC/AC panels and pulling all new wiring. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like doing a RU-vid channel as well as having a child. I give you guys great empathy for what your going through as I can only imagine the struggles. I know that all relationships have ups and downs, some harder than others, but stick with it and work on yourselves, and work on each other. I think Riley also probably like all similar aged males(including me), have a hard time discussing the hard times and just "manning up", but with everything going on in this world, it is no better time to start speaking out, showing that this mindset of "manning up and just deal with it" is something that is for the worse and we all need to be more communicative on these things. Stay strong you three, enjoy life, we never know if this is the last time we do something.
Raising kids is difficult. Lenny doesn’t have any other kids to play with most of the time so he is looking to his parents to provide constant attention, which is really hard to do. I can’t imagine raising a child on a boat. Best of luck to you!
My son is an only child-grown now. When he was a kid, I was the constant playmate. Not that I didn’t love my son immensely, but it was tiring. I’m told that a second child brings more relief to parents by my friends who had two. A third is another story. But, I hear it’s nice to have two. Caveat: I came from a two child family, and we fought a lot. 1) We were three years apart, so it was uncool to hang with my baby brother. 2) We weren’t challenged to solve our disputes, so they spiraled. We weren’t taught to love each other, so that compounded things. I do believe that two sibs can work if parents are willing to do the work of teaching their children how to get along, and they don’t put more than two years between them if they want them to hang together. Sounds like a lot for La Vaga. But, it just might work. I’ve seen more in a smaller boat.
I can't imagine what it would be like to depend on just one other person to meet all my needs every day, isolated on a boat. It's a tremendous amount of pressure and a big job. Most people rely on entire communities of support to raise a child and build a family. I hope you're both well and find the balance you need to thrive and be happy.
I think now, more than ever, people are experiencing depression on some level, given what's going on in the world. People who particularly suffer from depression probably have it worse than ever and others. Aside from what's going on in the world, to be in tiny environment with 2 other people, 24/7, and for a long period of time, can't be easy, regardless if anything's going on in the world or not. Hope you all get through this with flying colors.
Heyyyy I had to reply to this as I’m a Sue “O” too!! I completely agree with you its a very strange time and the worry of this virus is like a cloud hanging over all of us taking the shine off everything! Funny Riley should mention being thankful for a fluffy cloud ⛅️ We have followed them for years now and I truly appreciate the honesty as its my husbands dream to buy a Cat and take it around the Greek Islands! Its not all perfect and certainly not easy!! Well done to them both for being so real!! I like you truly hope they get through this!! Xx
I don’t know any parents of toddlers or kids between the age of even one and five years old who aren’t struggling. It’s definitely a time where all your usual tools of calming your nervous system through meditation, being out on the ocean with only nature echoing in your ears or other normally effective tools just don’t cut it. Constant screaming, crying and the many demands that young children make definitely elevate our stress response system. You will get through this. Best to recognize that over the next few years, you both should take turns hanging out with your beautiful son at times while the other gets to “decompress” in whatever best way works for them. It is definitely a high and low moment to moment experience and don’t ever feel guilty for having those feelings. I have a child going off to college & another mid high school and when I look back at those beautiful adorable toddler years I also do remember the extra needed self-care to deal with the caustic noise & exhaustion. Hang in there❤️
I'm so happy you shared this, thank you! In this age of watching clips, reading blogs and viewing FB, Insta and Twitter posts it's easy to get sucked into the notion that some people have everything sorted and are living perfect lives, in abundant happiness with no struggles! Every now and then we need a reminder that what we see on screen is polished and picked out perfection - like you said - you're not going to pick up the camera when you're feeling like sh*t! Life can be epically tough sometimes, but that's what makes it all worth it. Five years ago my boyfriend and I moved to a country where we couldn't speak the language, we knew nobody, but we wanted to move to a simpler life, quit working and live off the land on a little homestead. That meant working and living together 24/7. Man its been tough! Especially in winter when we're literally in each others space for several months. I can imagine that intensified significantly on a boat, with a toddler!! But, its the best thing we ever did - and we find ways of coping and giving each other space when we need it. With some yoga, meditation, mindfulness and a little time apart, even if its a few hours a time, we've made things work. I'm sure you guys will too. Best of luck xxx
The older I get the more I realise what you're talking about is just life. You can't escape it, whether you get on a boat or on top of a mountain. We are all only human, the more everyone understands no one is perfect or has a perfect life the better. Props to you guys, talking about life and all its baggage is important stuff.
As someone who's suffering from severe depression for several years now, and is dreaming of becoming a liveaboard and circumnavigator once, this video was pure gold! Thank you so very much you two for being so honest, so open and just being you!
I thought similar. Except why did he get the holiday and not her? Blokes bloke bit of a joke but we don't know what's been said... Maybe she couldn't part with him or other things. Brave ppl putting it all out there
The way you all approached the issue is to be commended. “Doing life” is complicated at best, but doing it in a small confining space, raising a child, and sharing all this with the public can be extraordinarily stressful. Having been married 34 yrs, I can certainly relate to issues couples face year end and year out...we all go through trying times but at the end of the day, I can’t imagine being without my wife. The good will always outweigh the bad if you are determined to make it work...and I have a feeling you guys will be just fine in the end. Hang in there...you will be better for it and you will find at the end of your journey you’ll be glad you did years from now. It will make you guys stronger and even closer and the ultimate benefactor is Lenny. God bless!
Would be nice to have a grandparent or trusted family member to watch Lenny for a week so that you could reconnect as a couple. We watch my grandson at least once a week for several hours so my kids can enjoy each other. Breathes life into their relationship ❤️
The secret to a happy relationship is knowing when to pick your battles. Learning that it’s sometimes just not wort the stress to get upset. Instead, work on accepting each other for who you are. Eventually, the things that your partner drive you absolutely mad are the very things that you generally grow to admire.
Looks like mama could use alone time as well. As a mother of young boys I know it can be hard to have time away but it is much needed especially when living in a boat because she can’t just get in her car and have a grocery trip to herself or anything even as simple as that. Also I know every time I leave my boys with their dad they all realize how much they needed the time alone together as well. Just my opinion and I know I don’t know much about your personal story to know if that’s even a good opinion or suggestion buttttt I also know moms need to have time to sift through all those open tabs in our brain and come up with some solutions to help through the hard times.
I couldn't agree more! My husband used to take our 3 away for a camping weekend once a year. It was heaven for me. Years later, they have good laughs about their adventures; I have good memories of the peace and tranquility of having the house to myself, and the luxury of immersing myself completely in my own projects.
I agree, I hope she gets some well deserved alone time soon. Who knows, maybe she has and they haven't shown it in filming. Either way, Elayna, I hope you are finding peace in the ways you need. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.
Its natural that there would be some friction after 5 years on a boat( even in paradise) and the addition of a mobile baby boy. I expected that there might be changes when lenny arrived. its a full time job keeping him safe on a boat. You guys have to keep him from the lines, falling overboard, falling down the stairs, and there is the weather and the ocean. its an environment that can turn deadly in seconds. Its no wonder theres tension. We see the able calm funny Riley and the cute reasonable Elayna. Your not going to leave the arguments in the edit. I've expected you guys to get house on land somewhere (Australia) as a base and sail part time. I've got friends that went boating every weekend all summer that have parked their boat for years now. Life is what happens while were making plans. Good Luck Guys
Bringing up a child is incredibly stressful in the early years, especially so in a confined space like a boat. The saying " It takes a village e.t.c" is so true. Every parent needs a break now and then, something that's impossible on a boat. Being a parent is all consuming and it's easy to lose who you are/were if you're unable to have some "Me" time. The only consolation is that it gets easier as they get older and are able to communicate better. Good luck.
The one thing I’ve learned from raising three kids these past 23 years is that you must give those years to your kids first and foremost. It seems like a long time but it goes bye so very fast. 😞 Love you guys. Enjoy the journey. Peace!
“It takes a village” remember you both need time to yourselves and also social interaction with friends and that makes it extremely difficult on a boat constantly moving from port to port while being new parents and also difficult in the “Covid” time we are living. Love you guys and hope it all works out. Come back to the 🇧🇸
Thank you for keeping it real. It can’t be easy to share the not so fun parts but it’s important to show that life is not always sunshine and roses. Before the pandemic, my husband travelled frequently for work and it always made us appreciate each other more when he was home. It’s definitely been hard for him to not travel as much but we are doing our best to stay happy and healthy (and we’ll be celebrating 20 years of marriage in a couple weeks!). Sending love to the 3 of you ❤️
Elayna: "But we're happy aren't we?" Lenny: *spits out pasta* 😂 I respect you and Riley even more - I'm in a relationship and I felt this whole heartedly.
A lot of us are having hard times since a lot of us are on lockdown and stuck in a small house with a significant other. You're not alone! Time apart is a great way to decompress and release some stress from the relationship.
Time apart and time alone is vital. My husband and I (together 22 years now) found that it was even more important, and yet paradoxically harder to come by, when we had very young children. When each child was about 1.5-2.5 years old, it was HARD. Add in working together and a pandemic, and it must be even harder! Take good care of yourselves and each other, you've got this.
my wife an i are almost 6 years now with a 4 year old starting kindergarten and a 1 year old. i can confirm this. it's hard and even just getting time to yourself to do your own thing can be hard to come by.
First: Everything that Charles Ward said...plus: Second: So this is pivotal. And what "Reality TV" should be. Thank you for being honest. You have integrity, and it shows that you respect the people watching you enough to not present an Instagram version of your reality.* Ironically, it's what will, IMO, catapult you onto a whole other calibre of viewing, which will bring even more pressure and chaos. If you don't already, consider enlisting the help of professionals for both your personal lives as well as the business end of things -- even Oprah sought personal counsel via Maya Angelou, and had business advisors. The family you've created is the most important thing, so it's great to see you taking time out to do what you need to be healthy & happy individuals first. * I can't recall the episode number but there's one in which Elayna has a bit of a cry and she shares that she's surprised to hear that people think she's brave; and how "brave" is she, really, if she's miserable (at times) and crying? Well, Elayna, you ARE brave because you're doing it all in the face of fear. That's the very definition of bravery! Seriously, how many couples had a hard time getting through Covid lockdown? Most! THANK YOU for this episode in particular. It really affected and resonated with me. Oh, and thanks for all the resources/links above!
G’day Elayna and Riley. You are an incredible couple and Lenny is a blessing! My wife Susie and I have been married 28 years and raised our six children together, but I,m not suggesting you do that on your Cat. Life has been incredibly challenging for us over the years, where most of our griefs have been caused by other corrupt or inconsiderate people. On top of that I have trouble getting Susie even on a boat, lol. Just a few comments and thoughts from an old Ozzie mate. My bible is my psychology book, because I believe it is the workshop manual by the one who created US! Most everything you mentioned is in there. Giving is better than receiving, and love just flows back at you. Respecting and caring for one another is so, so Important, when the world is often teaching us self focus. The huge thing is, as a believer you have the Holy Spirit to draw on as a mate and mentor in times of testing. Two critical things I feel are crucial in maintaining a balanced exciting relationship are, one, Try never to to fall into the trap of using your spouse as the butt of your jokes. Sarcasm, is the lowest form of wit and bible says build up and don,t tear down. The second is life is not a competition. As a couple you there to complement and complete one another. You are both amazing individuals with gift and talents and together the bible says you become one. Being in a relationship , as a couple is challenging enough, but becoming a Mum and Dad is another whole journey of learning. Susie and I were completely out of our depth, when we had our first little girl. Believe me it gets a whole lot better. Be patient and don,t beat your selves up. Oh, and one last very important thing I have only recently realised, is that SLEEP is the foundation of good health and well-being. Do some study about sleep and I bet you find some of your most lowest times will directly link back to sleep deprivation. It is SUPER critical. Thank you for being so real and honest. Please remember the most important thing in life is your relationship, dear little Lenny, and God. The rest of the world can wait on your next adventure, if you choose to keep sailing or what ever! Love you guys immensely, God Bless.
Elayna, Riley: You’ve been living a dream and have been oh so generous in sharing it with the world. Now you have a third member on the team and perhaps you’d like a fourth? Something needs to give. Perhaps you need to head back home, chill out, take a sabbatical? This is something you need to work out for yourselves. It doesn’t mean the dream is over, simply that it’s moving to a new phase. You’ve catalogued some fantastic times which you can look back upon with joy. Take some time to work out the next phase. Wish you all the best and whatever decision you end up with, I’m sure it’ll be the right one.
Whoever told you that happiness should be your life's constant goal is an absolute farce. If you're feeling low, go volunteer, there are heaps of people in need. Aloha
As viewers we have all seen your evolution and growth in your individual interests. Riley designing a new vessel, Elena designing her clothing line, for example. At some point, the physical constraints of the boat, the pressures of producing content, financial worries, there are always financial worries, a new member, Lenny, and it appears you have the perfect storm. Five years is a good long time to be doing what you are doing. Only speculation but the view from here is that questions about your futures and what direction to take now is something that is weighing on both of you, if only in the background. As always, your honesty comes through loud and clear and is the secret sauce to your success of your channel.
Hang in there guys, My wife and I have been married 26yrs this November, two grown up boys and far away from our families but we have each other, could not imagine life without them. Just as you on the sea, yes there are troubled waters and difficult passages to navigate through, but if we all gave up on the first storm or path we would never get where we are today. Love one another, respect one another and care for each other. There is no secret and there is no guide book. The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you have come. Stay safe and stay happy.
Been there done that..it is hard to spend time apart, really sucks actually. However, it can be beneficial. I wish you all the best of luck..You are an amazing family..nothing wrong with taking a break..peace and love...God Bless..
Close quarters with kids is tough. We lived in a TINY Brooklyn apartment with 3 kids for 8 years and almost divorced so many times. Then we moved to a big house in Connecticut and like magic, fights reduced 95% (severity and frequency). People need space, and the city and ocean are the same: though big, they are not your space.
Having kids - until that point the most important decisions you make: where to put the sofa, what picture to buy for the wall? After kids, you’re making decisions about a persons life, if you don’t agree it’s tough. Plus, you’re tired, you have no time for each other, so you forget why you liked each other in the first place.
my guess is it would be next to impossible for riley to sail alone with lenny at his size. he’s very active now and i think they always need two sets of hands on board with lenny now!
I will be praying for you guys to find joy when together and refreshment when apart! Love the channel and the content! Remember you can’t give from an empty cup. My faith in God is what fuels me, find your fuel!
Can't imagine how hard it is to rise a child without a tribe and during a pandemic (each of those are already hard enough on anyone's psyche!) You guys are amazing and I admire you for all of your trueness
Caring for a young child is constant, and on land this is where grandparents or trusted others can give you a break from the 24/7 routine. Get 24 hours where you date each other again, without Lenny, even though he is a delightful little boy. We have dates like the original days regularly, and I'm 69! Total focus on each other and no distractions. Also breaks from one another are necessary, no matter how wonderful and thoughtful partners are. Of course for free spirits covid has made life tedious for cruisers, some people like Nikki and Jason Wynn have not been able to get from fiji to tonga to their boat for 3 months! Take care. Have you watched any tony robins videos on you tube? He's the worlds highest paid coach, and he has seminars on line. A bit ra ra, but an incredible human. Rergards Murray and Jean
I write this as my husband and I are in two separate rooms “cooling off”. Like you we tend to do everything together including sailing. We are older “newlyweds” and childless. My point is...this happens in everyone’s life’s so please do not feel like your moments of reality wouldn’t be understood or embraced. Sometimes there is no way in hell I will kiss him before going to bed to make up - we are human, feelings get hurt and the space feels too small for the two of us. Once we get our head’s on straight and align our hearts, we make our way back and I love him just as deeply as before. I wish you two the best in whatever your choice of the future holds. You’ve given so much of yourselves to this community and will always be watched by those new and seasoned in the sailing world. Keep what is important to you first and foremost. And give that little Lenny a big squeeze, he’s the cutest soul on RU-vid!
The problem with reading and learning how to be happy, is that you forget just to be happy... Anxiety forms when you think you should be happier because books say so... Own your own feelings, you don't need textbooks, trust your heart that your brain forgets to use!
I agree. I have had trouble being happy and the things that changed my brain from struggling to being on a happy plain was just to trust my instincts, not judge myself, see the silver linings but most of all REST. The brain is like a muscle that needs rest.
Bravo. Bravo to you both for being transparent and demystifying the notion that anyone, no matter where they live, is happy all the time. It takes work. That’s the thing that needs to be talked about! Cheers!
