I am 60 and just found out that I am autistic a few months ago. It's been such a relief and so enlightening. I have been re-evaluating my life in light of my new understanding. So much in my life makes sense now. I am very fortunate to be with someone who understands and accepts me for who I am.
YOUR NOT A WHO OR A WHAT OR A I AM THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FACTS HERE,SCIENCE MADE IT VERY CLEAR THEY ARE FUZZY WITH THERE SCIENCE THIS MEANS THEY DO NOT KNOW WHERE THIS WORLD IS GOING....BUT WE WILL BE RESET AND DELETED JUST LIKE BEFORE IM NOT TAKING ANOTHER BIRTH I HAD ENOUGH OF THE GAME IT REALLY IS.
I really enjoyed watching & hearing your story. What a true delight; I appreciated how at ease I felt. Here's why, I felt comfortable. The tranquility of all the different shades of blue going on, yet the texture of your Jade plant with those eager red & yellow parrot tulips peeking through, just resonated with imagining who you are. I loved the big button on your cardigan. Everything felt so well balanced. Oh, usually I don't like the distraction of music in videos; though, it wasn't until nearly 19 minutes into your video I fully noticed the beautiful music softly playing in the background. It pulled your entire video together beautifully. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm an undiagnosed 57 year old unemployed woman. Most days of my life have been a major struggle nobody ever sees or believes. My mask is old & brittle from years of use & oxidation. It's hidden many decades of tears & shame. ❤
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I am so glad you enjoyed my video and reading your comment truly made my day 😊 Have a lovely rest of your day!
Sometimes when I tell people that I am autistic, they say: Aw, well, everyone is a little autistic. Now, these are people I know well, and they come from a good place. However I don’t know how to reply. How to help them understand that, no, everyone is not a little autistic. It feels so invalidating to me, who really struggles in so many areas of my life. Sure, you might not be able to see it, I get that. I don’t need people to feel sorry for me. Or treat me like a child. I am a fully capable adult in many aspects of life. But being autistic really does come with a bunch of challenges in my everyday life. I often have to work twice as hard to accomplish everyday tasks, and not to mention the bigger challenges in life. i have overcome so much in life. I have come a long way in so many ways. But I am 100% autistic. How can I educate people on being autistic and be respected as an individual with autism? ❤😊
Yes, I have heard that before too. I actually go into this a little bit more in my next autism talk. But I think depending on the person the best way to let them understand it is by educating them on the fact that you need a whole checklist of "autistic traits" and actually struggle with them in some capacity in daily life for it to actually be autism. It's all human traits but the combination of how our brain just works differently with those traits is what makes it autism. So no, not everyone is a little autistic. That would be the same as saying that everyone has a little ADHD. It's just not the case.
@@BridgeOfLifeStudio Thank you 🙏🏼 I think that was a good answer, and it will definitely help me on the road to help those around me understand my autism better. I also have to practice standing up for my own needs and wants. And as an autistic person those needs and wants often differ from neurotypical people’s needs and wants. 😊
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story ❤ I'm glad your family was accepting and supporting for you! I couldn't imagine even telling my mum I think I'm autistic or have ADHD but I'm not going to let that stop me from finding out. I've recently started my journey of figuring things out at 30 years old so it's really helpful to hear how others experience things, I've always been incredibly aware of being different, though I didn't know why. The imposter syndrome has kicked in though so my brain is like what you were talking about at 13:13, if people think my external monologues are hard to keep up with then I'm glad mind-reading isn't a common human skill because the internal ones are so much worse than the ones people have to hear/read when I'm trying to think things through. As much as I'd like to share my story so far I tend to overshare and write a bit of an essay which is why I normally avoid commenting altogether even though I normally want to, but I'm trying to work on it. I will say to anyone that reads this far though that neurodiverse or not, I think a lot of people would benefit from self-reflection and learning to be kind to yourself as you work out your thoughts/feelings. Had I done this earlier in life instead of thinking I was just broken and weird I probably would have realized sooner that I was just different and not at all alone.
Thank you for sharing! Essay or not, I would read it 😜 Have you thought about a blog, then you could write as much as you would like. I also think everyone could benefit soooo much from getting to know yourself and learning to love or even just be nice to yourself. It makes life so much nicer.
Thank you, even that's a bit of a confidence boost ❤ I have to keep reminding myself that not everyone is horrible (I've just been unlucky previously I think). I have tried writing a blog but I tend to get carried away with the details and then just get exhausted, I even considered YT for about the last 8 years but I still keep putting it off. It really does, they should really teach self-reflection and probably emotional education in schools or at least in the UK as I'm not sure if any other countries care enough about their population to bother teaching stuff like that 🤞
In addition, yes I’m also sensitive and intuitive. What works best for me is to trust and choose what feels best out of all the options that are available in each moment. It can even be seen as a game to discover the intelligence of feelings and intuition.
I think it's great you went through such a journey to discover more about yourself, and I hope it brought you more peace. I enjoyed listening to your story about your personal experiences. The story about the drawing activity during your assessment reminds me of an art assignment in elementary school where we drew the Eiffel Tower as it was slowly revealed from the top down. I really liked that assignment because I used to also be more inclined to work on a sketch from its details before I realized that to consider space, you sometimes have to look at the wider perspective first. However, I do want to note that there are self-diagnosed autistics who have bothered to delve deep into research and engaged with the autistic community before reaching that conclusion. For a variety of reasons, a professional diagnosis may not be accessible to them. It can be hurtful and invalidating to assume that someone who has self-identified as autistic doesn't know anything or is not autistic because they remark on autistic traits in what may appear an off-handed manner. I don't know the traits because they are not clarified here, but even if they are "stereotypical," it doesn't mean they aren't correct. Autism is indeed a spectrum. Also, the deficiency-focused model of diagnosis for autism is a barrier, a tool for gatekeeping -autistic people are born autistic, people don't become autistic after diagnosis. And everyone struggles to different degrees. You're right that it is not always visible. That may apply to the people you mentioned. Also, due to the pervasive stigma against autism, an allistic person is probably more inclined to apply the identifier to someone else than themself. I hope that didn't come off rude. I have a tendency to say a lot to make myself very clear and the tone can be perceived as aggressive. But I just want to provide more information and a different perspective on this topic.
No, it didn't come off as rude. I did a bunch of research both before and after my diagnosis, both for myself and my thesis so I do have fair knowledge about it. I am not against self diagnosis at all, I started there myself. But as I said in the video, when it comes to those comments, I am quite sure there is no autism involved in those cases. With strangers I am not as likely to think one way or another, with people I know quite well it's different. Also in Dutch they often say "autistisch trekje" I don't think there is a good English translation. Usually it's meant in a way where there is NO autism but the behavior shown does have autistic tendencies. I am mostly talking about comments regarding that. I hope that clearifies it. But I get it if I didn't make myself clear 😅
@BridgeOfLifeStudio Thanks for replying and clarifying~ Perhaps there is a cultural difference. I do still think that the deficiency-centric model of diagnosis can be problematic, though. On a personal level, I'm kind of tired of trying to convince people my autism exists based on this model. (It feels like it leads to the assumption autism is the cause of my difficulties. Then I have to explain to people the social model of disability. Lol)
Hey, I would love to have you as a guest on my stream to talk about your ideas around late autism diagnosis as well as neurodivergence in general. Let me know if that is something you might be interested in. My contact details are in my channel description.
Hi, I might be willing though I have never done anything along those lines before. If you want to do a video together you can contact me through the email in my description box.
Thank you for sharing! Just a quick note: We have to take into account that many autistic people are self diagnosed. The deficiency paradigm is problematic. You might find The Double Empathy Problem interesting.
I'm currently in the process of self-diagnosing autism (and adhd). In the Netherlands the mental health services are *way* too much of a hassle. Either expensive, LONG waiting times, or both (depending on insurance). I'm curious if you've had much trouble in this process as well? So I'm just doing it myself through extensive research. But this route is difficult as well, since it's really complicated and difficult to convince myself I am autistic or not. Especially because of the many other afflictions and neurodiversions that exist and can co-exist. It wasn't even until 2013 that the DSM allowed a combined diagnosis of Autism and ADHD, which is very important for some very seemingly contrasting or hiding traits. Even if I am, or am not autistic, the various understandings has brought new possible life-style changes I am trying out to see if things get easier.
I get it, I struggled with the exact same thing. First I really dove into autism but as I said in the video, I found it difficult to actually say I was autistic since I wasn't sure and then I felt like autistic people might feel like I wasn't taking it seriously. So I ended up getting a diagnosis because I felt like it would give me clarity, and it has. I was sent through by my family doctor and insurance covered a good part of the expense but it still is a lot of money. I don't struggle with ADHD so I can't say much about a double diagnosis on that part but I get that it might make it more difficult to self diagnose. Thank you for sharing and good luck on the journey 😊
@@BridgeOfLifeStudio Interesting that you've had a similar road, with a good positive outcome it seems! Another good thing about the Autism community is that they're very accepting of self-diagnosis, so that makes it a lot easier. Probably not going to take an official diagnosis unless it has practical benefits that I need. Maybe eventually some like-minded peer-review, would probably bring some clarity. The ADHD part just makes the picture more complete! If I solely look at autism I can still 'feel something missing'. (Likewise vice versa) Thanks! You too! Hopefully you're going to have a nice post-diagnosis journey, unmasking, accommodating, all that stuff. 😄
It’s been nice listening to you Also beautiful and cute And i relate so much to all that you said My diagnosis starts next week, and since i have appointed it, i have been obsessing only about watching autism relative videos haha Did you have similar experience?
Yes I totally understand! I feel like I consumed every autism related type of media I could find 😂 But it really does help to understand it better and put into words what you experience.
Kind of reassuring that you say u had a similar experience I watched many people on youtube express their autistic experience, you have been the most i could relate to, even the way u look around when you’re trying to translate thoughts into words, its like watching myself You got a new fan haha
ADHD and Autism , but to be fair, Im not sure If I'm both of them , the only piece of information I recognise is I'm neurodivergent ; Neurodiversity is a whole different world to me, Despite of knowing the drill, I struggle to regulate my attention span and deal with my mood swings.
@@BridgeOfLifeStudio I've got features of both. I tend to procrastinate before starting a task or I sometimes wake up extremely chuffed and optimistic about life and wanting to do a plenty of activities, on the other hand I've days when I feel blue and can't find a purpose of life and can't stop comparing myself ( you know that sensation pretty well) I Aldo struggle to control my hyperfixations and my organisation schedule. You know, I move from a black AND white mindset towards a " life is a colourful " one, too outgoing or too reserved.
I believe i'm autistic. This isn't something that i'm just saying. 7 years ago I got tired of feeling like i didn't fit in anywhere and I started to research. At the time i didn't know what autism was. When I started to read and watch videos about neurodiversety it was like reading and watching stuff about my own life. Anyway, I went to my GP and said that I think that i might autistic. I quickly got an appointment, about two weeks later. Little did i know that the place i went to was known for not doing propper tests and that the doctors there was known for being unproffesional and had little knowledge on girls with autism. The answer I got in the end of all the testing was that I had to low IQ score to be autistic.. Even if I checked all the other boxes. Anyway, now as an adult i've tried to get a second opinion but i get turned down no matter how many times I try.. I just find it pretty frustrating how the system can turn down people that are just looking for answers. The only option I have is to pay a huge amount of money to go to a private place with actually professional people. It costs alot of money but I think it'll be worth it. I just want to know myself better. Also, my apologies for the spelling. I have dyslexia.
That is so frustrating! I think I was lucky with the place I got tested since they had a lot of experience with women on the spectrum. And don't worry about spelling, fellow dyslexic here 🙋🏼♀️
