WEDDING SHOWERS: EVERYTHING You NEED To Know 

HAHAHAHA I don’t want any of that either!! It doesn’t appeal to me

I don’t think that’s right. Smh I feel like they could have at least provided a meal to everyone.( to show they were thankful of their families support). Also I think wedding shower games is something they could have done.

My fiancé and I planned our wedding shower. 😊

Sincerely Eccentric in my culture it’s actually the common practice for the wedding couple to plan the wedding shower. That’s how I thought it was done until I started prepping for it that I realized American culture has other people do it. So just plan it with confidence and you should be good😁

I also planned my own shower ! Partially because I’m a control freak and also because I had a very small “shower” ( 20 people) so it was super easy to plan, I hosted it at the restaurant I used to work at and it was GREAT !!

Have fun! ❤️

I'm in a similar boat. I'm having multiple showers as well, to keep numbers small, and we just had to cut our guest list again. ....after I gave my guest list suggestions to the lovely ladies hosting the events. Which means that some people invited to the showers aren't on the updated wedding guest list. What is making this easier, is that we will be livestreaming our wedding ceremony and sending formal invitations for that. So we will ultimately have a very small in-person wedding and reception and more people joining online. Most people have been super supportive and excited about how we're handling this and get that we're trying to include all the people we love as much as we possibly can in this chapter of our lives.

I’m having a wedding of maybe 60 ppl. so I’m telling them, we have extremely limited room at our venue, and a small budget for the wedding but they can come celebrate with me at my bridal shower instead!

You could do a brunch or cake and punch style reception! Cake and punch might be best if you don't want to feel rushed; it usually includes things like pastries, tea sandwiches, and other relatively simple but portable food. If you do it cocktail style it means you'll have more freedom to bounce around and mingle while still getting to eat (easier to balance a tea sandwhich in one hand than a steak/whatever while you hug your people). I did a cocktail style with tacos and lots and lots of appetizers, and it worked really well for mingling and making the most of the time we had the venue and our photographer :) You can also decide what feels important to you and your day. Don't need dancing? Cut it out of the timeline to make more time for speeches. Really love dancing, but don't want to skip speeches/cake cutting/etc? You could look into doing an "after party" by booking out a room at your favourite restaurant in the evening, or having an open invite to join you at your favourite bar afterwards. Biggest tip in general wedding planning, imo, is figuring our your priorities and scrapping anything that isn't meaningful to you, your partner, or anyone else you want involved in decision making. Makes for a more streamlined day, and a day that's only full of stuff that is meaningful to you. Good luck!!

I agree with Morgan. Rather then have a formal sit down meal, if you offer appetizers or finger foods during the reception then people can mingle and dance and walk around the reception at their leisure rather then feel like you have to follow a traditional/strict timeline

I want to know too! I've heard you can split the amount you plan on spending in total between the two events, but I don't know if you can just do the engagement party.

Depends on your budget. Keep in mind it is two separate events. Also, how many events do you want to have. Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party or Vacation, Engagement Party, Wedding ceremony and reception, so many events it's all about you and hubby to decide how you two want to celebrate your love.

Can only speak from personal experience, but usually it's been a good get-together for people attending the wedding/the wedding party to meet and mingle prior to the actual big day. I also think it's a good "appetizer" in terms of getting people excited about the wedding itself.

@@MillennialRevolt Oh okay thank you 😊

Same here, but I guess it’s safe to say that a video about that is really hard to do since every county of every US state is different in the gathering aspect and can change at any given time. Given that the point of a wedding shower is to shower the wedding couple gifts, I’m sure a drive by would be appropriate...especially if it’s done through the element of a surprise to you and your spouse-to-be😁

Maybe have a bag of favors and a thank you piece of cake wrapped up for each car that drives by, so you can express your gratitude. It’s hard, but I don’t think anyone would pass judgment on your shower during these times.

If there is a large park nearby, maybe that could be an option. You could have some distance games (ring toss, corn hole, etc) and ask people to wear masks. You can get some distance between people and ask people to maybe stagger their times there. It depends on your local rules but it could be an option

Natalie OMG that’s such a great idea!

A shower your mother and mother figures attend this event. Women only. There’s fun games and presents given to the bride. A bachelorette party is more party sexy drunk last time going out being “single” type of event, so mother figures do not attend. This is in my experience when close friends were getting married

@@stephanirenee12 thanks!

Not sure if Jaime will respond, but it’s hard for her (or any of us!) to know what next year will look like. I think this is a good time for you & your partner to think about what’s important to you (having lots of people you love attending? No one wearing masks?) and (try to) plan accordingly. Since you said postponing- do you already have vendors booked? Their availability would be a priority to me (gotta keep that money!), but if the comfort of knowing that 2022 will likely be better than it is right now (again- likely), then that may be where your answer lies. I’m currently planning for a Jan 2022 date and I know vendors have told me they’re filling up quickly for 2021, so if you’re leaning towards that date I’d decide sooner than later.

I postponed from October 2020 to October 2021. Our venue was almost completely booked for 2021 from all of the brides moving their dates. Obviously it’s so hard to know if life will go back to normal. But whichever option you think you’d prefer, book what you can asap so you can relax and not have to worry

emily brogan you’re not alone! I’m the MOH for one that got postponed from Oct to next year- I know the bride is feeling a lot less stressed now that it’s officially moved vs. not knowing if it would be or not. I hope your new date has brought some peace of mind too!

My husband and I just postponed our wedding from June 2021 to June 2022. We are so grateful that our vendors (venue, wedding coordinator, photographer, and videographer) let us move our date and we didn't lose any money and it worked out for us. We are having a destination wedding in Hawaii and we didn't want to take a risk for our guest when traveling as well as I just got laid off permanently. My husband and I are more focused on our finances first so we can pay for the wedding as well.

I think it’s more likely that some people might not realize that it would come across as shady. Someone might think it could be a way to include more people without adding to your wedding budget and not realize that it’s hurtful and poor etiquette. Especially if you haven’t been to many other weddings. But true, the shady ones need to hear this too 😂

@@Egershon OH I get it, it's just my mind started having fun. 😂😂😂😂 But could you imagine.... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

8:29

This is 100% acceptable. You can also ask for visa gift cards and such that can be used everywhere. :D We've done that since we've lived together for the past 6 years, we have everything we need so we just asked for a house / vacation fund. :)

Do it girl! That’s exactly what we are doing :) we’re using a website called fundly

Traditionally in the US it's been viewed as tacky to straight up ask for money for any occasion. (like don't tell Grandma you want a check for your b-day). So older &/or more traditional guests may not be very happy with it. To soften that feel you could provide the option of a donation to a charity you & your partner support. I had a friend who actually created a scholarship fund at a local comm. college and it reminded me of how great her spirit is.

@@26Bluegb I think a good way to accomodate the more traditional guests, you could ask for specific things for your honeymoon. Like a voucher for a candle light dinner, couple massages or anything that can be booked in advance at the honeymoon location. That way your guests feel like they're actually giving you something useful and not just money. But yeah, it's defintely ok to just ask for a honeymoon fund.

You don’t think that it may look tacky to invite someone to the shower and not the wedding?

I have been invited to a wedding shower and I wasn’t invited to the wedding and I was actually deeply offended. I felt like they just wanted me to give them gifts

@@user-emilyyyy I'm sorry you felt that way, that's your choice to feel offended, and like that was what they wanted. Also, if that's how you really felt you didn't have to attend.

@@laurenstrobel7039 First of all, I'd wouldn't call a special event, especially something having tondo with a wedding, tacky. Secondly, not sure why I'm even taking the time to repeat myself, but some people in this world actually appreciate being able to spend fun, quality time to celebrate the new couple especially if they weren't able to attend the wedding. Other people can go right ahead and be petty, but I dont see those people paying for the weddings.

I was just sharing my opinion with you. No need to get defensive if people don’t agree with you. God bless and have a great day! :)

The wedding registry is used to cover all those different parties, no one makes separate registries for each event (I agree that would be tacky). But having the registry ready to go prior to the shower is beneficial for the guests to know what the couple needs or wants, so the guests aren't wasting their time and money going out to buy the couple's fifth toaster.