Wendi's experience living in a marriage with her spouse in a faith crisis. . 

I’m currently experiencing the same thing with my wife. She is a wonderful woman and unfortunately my best efforts to “help” her were pushing her away. I have grieved her faith crisis and continue to although I’m finding peace. In my prayers I have felt God tell me to let go of trying to control the situation and let the Master Healer do His Work. This sister’s peace is palpable and you can see how she has given this burden to Christ to handle. I need to find this support group. This trial has been so isolating but these stories give me strength. Thanks for sharing this story!

Thank you for doing this podcast. I have felt alone in this as my husband has not been to church in several years. Even before that, he was struggling, not so much from a faith crisis, because he still has a testimony deep down, but a struggle with expectations and misunderstandings about doctrines. He doesn't feel worthy of God's love, which is so sad because he is such a great man, and I know he is so loved. People have commented to me over the years that I am so strong for going to church by myself (our children are grown), but the gospel brings me such joy and peace and I can't give it up. My living the gospel (as best I can) strengthens our marriage and family. I don't know if he will come back in this life, but I am loving him and leaving it in Heavenly Father's hands.

Wendi utmost respect to Wendi for giving her husband the space and support and respect for his choices. It’s so easy to try and manipulate your partner into your way of thinking, but it takes strength of character to accept him no matter what. All the best to both of you! ❤

Thank you for sharing your experiences. One hymn that I love that helped me is "Know this that every soul is free." My husband was not a active member. I could deal with the grief most the time. I was active in primary scouts. My grief returned when my 3 boys turned 12. They had amazing leaders in our ward. I would cry and pray for my husband and boys, and myself.

Everyone’s trials are unique. The most important perspective I gained from this podcast is identifying a clear description of Wendy’s choice to love! This love is for her children, her spouse! And for everyone listening! I absolutely loved this podcast!

Thank you for being one of the few hearts and voices on the table concerning this issue. I’m inspired by your bravery 💜. I’m glad you could talk primarily in past tense. I feel compelled to represent those of us “believing members” who feel we are more in the messy middle. Though my husband left the church almost a decade ago and despite plenty of therapy, I still struggle a lot. I choose to trust that more peace and capacity will come in the Lord’s way and time. I also choose compassion for myself when I can’t seem to buck up and choose for forgiveness to happen today! I experience ongoing trauma watching each of my children reject the gospel of Jesus Christ. Im open to suggestions on how to blame my husband less and let him in. Mostly I want to validate those in a similar situation. Here’s a huge virtual hug 🫂

Beautiful story! I went through a similar situation about 8 years ago, but a year after my former spouse left the church, he decided he wanted a divorce. There were a lot of dark times and faith struggles of my own, but I chose to believe and continued on the path towards my Savior. I have since found a wonderful eternal companion, and although combining families has been quite the challenge and my 3 biological children have decided to leave the church, I have hopes that someday they will return to the loving arms of our Savior.

Thank you for doing this Podcast Wendi it’s giving me a different perspective on the spouse. My spouse’s coming back isn’t a strong as mine right now. She goes to Sacrament meetings, read the daily scripture says she prays. I’ve asked her to pray with me and she not wanting too a few other things but now I won’t stress or stop my burning desire to go through the Temple. These podcasts seem to answer a lot about my question. I am so very grateful for you guys doing these.

This sounds very similar to my story. We are in the midst of it as well and I have spent hours pleading and praying for answers and the answer comes clearly and almost immediately every time, “just love her.” There are some differences with ours since she doesn’t go to church and is participating in some word of wisdom things as well. I keep myself strong by dedicating my time to the Lord and studying the atonement every time I get the chance. I have spent hundreds of hours in the past year studying the gospel, listening to conference talks and looking for answers for myself of the questions she has. I have refined my social media to be only church things and dedicate my free time to listening and pondering those things. Its hard but its my faith, not hers yet so I am doing everything I can to do to be what I need to be strong despite our differences. It is hard but like Wendi said, we have to rebuild on the current situation and find similarities to build off of. The church is true friends!

Wendi is so awesome a sister in Zion that I love her strength to continue keeping her faith and children safe and taught this great gospel. The spirit is so powerful in her heart and she will be rewarded continuously so keep being strong for us Saints! Thank you sincerely for your testimony smarts. Your wise

Thanks for sharing your testimony, Wendi. So many of us are dealing with the heartache of spouses who have lost their faith and, though they may not recognize why, are in pain and anguish. Trusting in God and relying on the Savior for comfort is the thing that keeps my heart at peace and allows me to love my spouse in spite of the hardship. I’ll be praying for your husband that his heart may continue to soften and he can experience again the overwhelming, transforming love of the Savior and the joy of the gospel plan. I’m excited for that day when you can stand with him as he becomes the most amazing missionary ever.

Her story is eerily similar to mine, right down to the name! My marriage did not survive but my testimony did. It wasn't easy but today I am happily remarried and closer to the Savior than I've ever been before.

Yeah i get it... Its their journey to walk, only they can do it for themselves. The best thing & most effective thing we can do is pray, fast & leave it to God..... Great episode!

It's refreshing to hear Wendi's perspective on the CES Letter. To me, it's written like a legal motion. Full of confident, absolute language, and a host of cherry-picked arguments, all wrapped up in argument disingenuously packaged as a question.

Excellent! Gives me a whole new perspective!

Thank you for sharing! Talk about resilience! I love what you said about it being God’s time. Be stoked! If you have your own fire burning bright and unapologetically share then the sparks can light another’s fire. Also so true about there not being depth to the letter. If not Joseph then no Moses, if not Moses then no Jesus since he quoted Moses, if no Jesus then what? Respect is the baseline - if someone in your life won’t allow you to share what you feel that is good then I can see either tabling the discussion or parting ways.

Wendi you have a sweet spirit!

I LIKE YOUR STRONG TESTIMONY OF THE GOSPEL AND BEING FAITHFUL IN THE CHURCH😊

I did share this video with my friend. I do hope she listens and is encouraged by your story. Thank you for the courage to share And thank you Matt. You’re a great husband and father

This hits home. Thank you, Sister.

Wendi, what a lovely girl you are. Your determination to allow your husband his agency while giving him all your love is inspiring. My best wishes are with you, your husband and your children. They are so lucky to have you. 🫂 x x x

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Wendi! You are amazing! It might help Matt to watch David Alexander if he hasn't already. David has a talent for defending the gospel clearly and boldly. I'm sure that you are already doing it, but one thing that came to mind to help your children is to help them have experiences with the Holy Spirit that can buoy them through difficult waters like your own spiritual experience has done for you. If they have their own experiences with answered prayers and witnesses of truth, it will be riches that no one can take from them. Sending my love to your whole family ❤️ God bless you.

My husband stopped going to church. Our marriage didn't last though we had counseling with LDS Social Services. After my divorce many married women came to me with very serious troubles in their marriages. Most stayed even in dangerous marriages with batterers but that was 40 years ago when there was little help.

Incredible story. I've shared this podcast with a family member in a similar situation.

This was a really interesting discussion! I've always wanted to share my story, but this makes me realize just how important my wife's side of the story is to mine. Hearing from the other side is amazingly powerful!

35:53 This is a great example of Cognitive Dissonance where most refuse to believe information that threatens preexisting cherished beliefs or would requires big adjustments. Many refuse to believe or acknowledge any information that is unsettling or uncomfortable. It’s far easier to pursue a comforting falsehood than a hard true reality. In other words, “The truth hurts.”

I would love to see Tember Harward on this podcast. He’s a convert, but grew up around The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, lived in and out of the gospel, great perspectives. CES Letter: I agree with the guest, it did nothing to bring me closer to Christ. Neither does the deceptively named “XXXXXX Stories” podcast, neither does the darkness found in psychobabble coming from J H, or M S, or even soft core doubt instilling podcast from Murph or Bridger or now Jim B. I see how people leave though, I get it now. But Christ is not the focus of those trying to create doubt ever. Worldly or socially acceptable lifestyles that are in direct contradiction to the Gospel being supported by some aren’t helping people stay faithful either. I see why they leave though. Interesting stuff.

My story, except I’ve always been a “spiritual single mom” since we married. And I wouldn’t change it ❤️

You are a true saint.

I wish Wendy would come and talk to me

❤❤❤❤❤

🤍

I don't think that you should have forced him to attend church as a condition to your marriage. If you really love and respect him you would have let him be himself. Conditions like that are of Satan 'I'll force them to make good choices'

As a man and husband who has stepped away from the church, I have the following thoughts: I’m sorry to hear about your health issues, my own wife struggles with health and I can empathize rhere. Thank you for sticking it out with your husband. I would say your husband isn’t struggling, he’s possibly deconstructing. He’s trying to figure out how certain things that made sense before might not make sense anymore, but it’s not “struggling”. Saying he’s struggling implies that he lacks something active church members don’t, but he isn’t lacking anything. Choosing Joseph Smith over your husband is disturbing. Your husband is right in front of you, you know him. Joseph Smith may or may not be a prophet and there’s so much information to make this such a complicated topic. Choose your husband please. Your husband is whole and complete, whether he pays tithing or not. Unfortunately the church allows this thought process to occur about those who don’t pay tithing, but it is toxic and can lead to a mindset that members who pay tithing are better or more privileged than those who don’t. Major boundaries to make sure your children are safe from your husband on word of wisdom issues? This is a toxic mindset. And a church that teaches families aren’t together in the eternities because one spouse drinks coffee/tea is deeply disturbing. I don’t blame Wendi for some of her comments. She’s the victim of a church that creates these mindsets. It’s happening less now than before which is the good news. In 20 or 30 years we probably won’t have these mindsets in the church anymore, society is adjusting and using more critical thinking.

Both of your comments would be so much more effective without using the word “like” in every sentence. Don’t mean to offend, but ….

I think her boundary is extremely toxic and dangerous bc it can lead to a lot of resentment and more fights on both sides. This is coming from an active member, and this marriage is literally going to fail if she keeps pushing him to the point where he is uncomfortable. You can’t force someone to do something and if you do, it won’t be sincere. He’ll have to be the one to choose to do this and I hope others don’t force kids and loved ones to do this. This is what leads a lot of people astray and for a lot of resentment to spread