Red flag: when he is bad with the waitresses or waiter in a restorant, don't like animals and children and talk about money and luxury things all the time.
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Depends what you mean but not liking children and animals. Literally hating children would for sure be a red flag, but just finding them annoying and not enjoying spending time with them is pretty normal in my opinion
Once I was on date, we were having lunch (this is comum in Brasil) and he looked to my food and asked: will you realle eat all that? I felt so embaressed that I couldn't finish to eat.
1. bad hygiene 2. ask for income and job 3. is rude 4. conceited 5. always on phone 6. no sense of humor 7. to shy (some confidence is good. a lil shy is fine but if your quiet the whole time well..) 8. close minded or arrogant 9. complains a lot and always makes excuses rather than manning up to her mistake 10. judgmental
Because some people are reluctant to talk about their occupation without having to deal with the anxiety of social status or hierarchy. One can feel subordinating, especially in first world countries where white collar professions are well respected and have higher salaries compared to manual labour as it is looked down upon. As George Orwell has put it "All People are equal, but some people are more equal than others".
@@fernandooliveira3432 You'd be surprised how many women don't have white collar jobs and don't care if their man does. They often ask because they want to get to know you, which includes getting to know your line of work and whether you're passionate about it.
A big red flag for me is no compassion/making fun of people and also constantly texting being on their phone but being really vague about it. Honesty and kindness are the two things I look for
red flags: when food is falling off his mouth (messy eater), when he smells bad, dirty unwashed clothes, dirty hair, dirty fingernails, asks me to pay or being cheap, talks about his ex (nobody wants to hear it), talks about something negative or focuses on negative things around or in the world (stay away from negative people), talks about something inappropriate or makes sexist, racist jokes.
I will let them have all the cats in the world as well. Women talk about "equality" a lot, but are always looking for the man to pay the bill. Go figure....
Lol, chivalry, flowers, and not splitting the bill is an obvious thing here in Russia, I’m Ukrainian and now married to Russian, we still have conservative roles but when it’s needed we can help each other’s out, like when he can’t pay home service bill I help him and when I’m too tired to do home chores he helps me, but for the rest of the time it’s pretty conservative(mind you, Russia(USSR) have had equal gender role society for more than 100 years and it is fu**ing does not work that way!! )
Pretty sure I always appreciate the humour and delightful way you portray cross-cultural relationships. One critique: Please make your segments longer. I know it costs more, but I think it might pay off in terms of viewers. :)
For me the biggest one: when they try right away to know about your financial status "so, what do you do? (...) No, not your hobbies, your job" "which neighborhood do you live? Near (hipster neighborhood)?" etc etc.
bellydancerinanna The thing is: most people work because they need the money, not because we love what we do. If you love your job you are very lucky or financially bountiful. In general, the rich kids are the ones that land the "cool" jobs.
How is that rude? Asking about someone's career makes for good conversation if you share common interest or you're interested in what they do. Asking about income is of course rude but occupation isn't.
lack of social skills, etiquette, degrading a group of people like sexism or racism, being stupid, boasting, smelling, talking about sex, lack of humour... are a definite no no for me.
+Laura Happy Most likely, because 1) She lied (concealed) her past until this very moment, and suddenly dropped the bomb. 2) Most guys do not like girls with baggage.... most guys would like to have a relationship a girl where they can both start with a clean slate. 3) Both (1) and (2). #kthxnbai
Raj Rajput woww I was actually having this conversation with two guys 2 days ago and they told me that it's good when the girl have a son/daughter because that mean she is an easy lay. (That is like a common thought around here)
Laura Happy I'm assuming you mean a woman who's late 20s / early 30s and who has kids, because anything else (early 20s or late 30s / 40s etc) means that's just a totally different sexual fetish.... Also, guys are all types of cretins, so that's no big deal.... I know a lot of girls who purposefully get involved with guys and then break their hearts and dump them to "hurt them" just because they've been hurt once sometime when they were young....
Any kind of sexism, racism (any -ism/stupid phobia, basically) would be a red flag ... and, to be honest, that would include an extreme insistence on paying the bill, any comments about men's/women's "roles" in the relationship, and so on.
you realize all the other girls say that they like the man paying the bill at least in the first day. you weird as fuck whit your gender roles. you nuts
2:42 => that's actually a red flag for me. Like... it's fine if I pay for the drinks at this bar/cafee, and next bar/cafe you pay. But for a girl automatically asuming me to pay for her... yeah, that's not gonna work
I think it depends on the culture of the country as well. I definitely would insist and pay for myself, or if my partner pays on a date then I will pay for the next one, but I would also insist on sharing house chores equally etc. Some countries are more traditional, meaning that yes the man is expected to pay for his girlfriend/wife, but the woman is also expected to do most of the cooking/cleaning/etc
This is confusing in the US because there is such a mixture of cultures and views. I feel like it is a guessing game or test over paying or splitting. In the end I decided to pay for everything. I have developed an Eastern European and Russian view of dating.
@@Endoptic True somewhat, I should have specified that when I say cultural thing, I really meant that it is whats most common/practiced in said country. Not everyone in Russia believes the man should pay for every date
That's not gender equality coglione dodicenne! That's about manners and culture of that country ; if you don't want to pay her anything don't take her to a bar or restaurant,don't be the one courting her.I don't care about being payed but if u brag about it very luckly u are a cheap selfish overall whiner misogenist who thinks he's a civil rights activist,.And GUESS what,some women let u pay because u know MASCULITY SO FRAGILE.
That's true, if I invite a guy out (yeah I do) I'll pay, unless he denies 3 times. Like if he insists on paying I'll insist 2 times and give in at the third. But if you invite me like ask me out I sure as hell expect you to at least offer to pay.
I know normally it's been tradition for guys to pay the bill at the end of the meal but a red flag for you girls is, if the guy pays for his own meal and not yours, he's most likely not that into you. THEN AGAIN, it really does depend on how good you think the date went. Also, splitting the bill or him even asking for you to if you mind to split the bill, don't take offense to it. Though it is a date, it's not a relationship, you're not together at all. So really, don't get upset about it.
Eric (Germany) said that he likes to drop some jokes in order to see her sense of humor, and if she doesn't laugh, then... bye. Okay, and I understand that, but... I wonder how a German joke sounds like?;);)
I'd find it difficult to answer. I love hugs and have very little problems with physical contact. Maybe that has something to do with me being Brazilian... who knows? :)
not offering to pay is a big red flag. and a girl offering to pay and then insisting on it is a big turn on for me on the first date. Entitlement is a huge red flag!
Not dressing properly. I think it should be a red flag for both women and men. Elegance is a must for both sides. For men, a smoking girl is a no-no. Smoking ruins the beauty.
if a girl is asking me questions like its a job interview, she isnt really interested in knowing my interests or feelings. and if she does the fake grab for her wallet! thats so rude. i dont pay for someone i just met
splitting the bill is a turnoff?? So these girls are basically saying "I am more special than you, we are not equal because my time is more valuable than yours, now be a gentleman and pay for me or else I am never seeing you again." Not hypocritical at all ladies, especially for the side that fights for equality. Selfish hypocrites. A real man never dates a girl who expects him to pay and makes herself more special than him. A real man finds a woman who will be his teammate and want him to feel special too. Do not be selfish ladies.
I think it really depends on what culture the girl is from. E.g. in Russia it's normal for the guy to pay and it's considered unmanly to ever let a girl pay for herself. So It's kind of understandable that the Russian girl would think that splitting the bill is rude. In less traditional countries with equal pay on the other hand I would also consider it selfish if the girl didn't want to pay her part.
Red flags: Extreme laziness, taking forever to style the hair n get ready for the meet up and then afterwards taking forever to reply to a message/phone call. Obesity/showing you don't take care of yourself. Complaining about your job/your ex/your life/everything in general. Rudeness and arrogance, big turn offs. Being busy on the phone, texting etc. Telling you their life expectations/10 year plans straight up. Being over-polite/formal/pretending to be someone they are not. Not offering to split the bill, at least offer. Not paying any compliments whatsoever. Only talking about themselves the whole time. Only talking on topics They find interesting and want to do activities They like.....i.e non compromising. Lol yeah I have a long list from experiences....
hahaha this was awesome! I've experienced a few of these red flags, it is really awkward and sometimes you just don't know how to end it so you can leave! Ps. I'd definitely date the guys from German, Brazil and France
Bad breath!!!!! I personally can't get over this one haha. Being extremely late. Being rude to anyone. Bragging Being racist, discriminatory, homophobic etc etc. Using or checking phone - unless emergency. Getting really drunk when it does not suit the context of our date. Any sort of passive aggressiveness or signs that he's a sociopath. Guys who use the negg method (yeah people do this, its ridiculous) BIG NO for making sexual remarks and we're talking about something completely different. My reaction would be: "We're here to get to know each other as people right? Or are you here cuz you just want sex?"
When they suddenly meet their friends somewhere like when you're in a restaurant and they see them and they run of to talk to them but forget about you
red flag for me on a date is when the guy doesn't appreciate that I'm learning Korean for my friends benefit and is racist about it when I slip in a word accidently.
I am just like Tatyana. not just because she's russian, Tatyana as an individual. talking quietly, polite, let others talk first... When a guy asks to split the bill... I know some think about equality and after all it's for the woman's good, but to be honest, I'm quite traditional and I can't help but feel as he's not serious if he doesn't pay. I want to be the woman, and him to be the man. so as long as we only met and on the first dates, so please dear men who date 'traditional', delicate and quiet women: don't be shy to be assertive and take the lead. I'm promising you will be repaid.
If you are traditional then let me tell you what is traditional. Woman place is in the kitchen, she must make always her husband haapy, she has to take care od children, clean the house and she has no right on her own opinion about nothing. That is traditional. That is patriarchy. You just cannot say I am traditional when it suits you, and to call for gender equality again when it suits you. Or you are traditional, or you are for gender equality. This is not attack on you Rita, I am talking to all women.
Well yeah Zemun I know what's tranditional. Like I said, I'm Russian. In Russia we don't complain about "gender equality", our culture isn't "Gender Equal". When I say I'm traditional, I know what it means. I know that traditional means the guy pays, is the "bread winner", and I'm "at the kitchen"; taking charge of the chores, growing our children etc. This is what I prefer. This is my style. If you thought I was talking like a hypocrite who wants someone to pay all the time while not giving nothing in return, you have to understand, In Russia we don't care about gender equality like Americans/Germans/Dutch do. I said I'm traditional knowing full well what it means. I'm sorry to hear that some people like you had bad experiences with hypocrite women who wanted to act a part but didn't give anything in return. But you have to understand, each country has different values. For us, this stuff goes without saying. I know you didn't mean to attack me but you used my comment as an example of a hypocrite who wants a guy to pay while still wanting some "gender equality" (whatever you mean by that). So I want to promise you, there are many women out there who are traditional. It's not so rare, especially not in Russia, where the norm is the guy to spend lots of $$$ on the girl, and the girl is taking care of the guy in all ways after he's back from home, filling his belly with delicious food, while all the house is clean, the children are cared for and are sleeping in bed, and sharing all our daily complaints :) Traditional isn't bad. It all depends on what you prefer. Couples can lead very healthy relationships the traditional way too. So leave me out of your complaints about feminists, Forget that american-centric world of view.
As a Man, for me , the red flag would happen in 3 situations. When women ask my zodiac to check if I'm her soulmate, or if our relationship would be Nice. That's stupid. Other situation is if the woman is loud, scream with you in front of other people, if she likes to make scandal and fight (have an argue ) in public. The third one is talking about ex's.
Well, money has a value so you change your money agenst a service. When I go out eating, I pay my meal with money (Money -> Meal "Service"). But when I go on a date and only eat one meal, but pay for two. Thats bullshit! Maybe thats the reason why every year more and more men dont want to date or marry girls anymore. They just dont want to pay for two and only get half of the Service they spend the money on. Friendship+ is becoming more and more popular, I wont why... Maybe because friends split the bill...? :)
All the post are about a girl with bagage, but no one from the other side guy with bagage, when a girl knew i have kids, suddenly i have a "bye", and girs with babage turns on the red flag, if you know the movie "cinderella" you know what i mean
A huge red flag for me is perverted, sex-obsessed men who watch pornography. The sad thing is that you won’t be able to figure it out on the first date unless you ask directly but that would just make it awkward.
I don't get why women have a problem with splitting the bill on d 1st date. It's only logical to pay 4 what you consume! How can you expect a stranger to pay for your luxuries.
Because women (real women, not dudes with vagina they call “women” in USA) want to be with a man whom they can rely on in future, who will be able to take care of the family and will be GLAD to take responsibility because he is proud to be a man, who can appreciate that you are making yourself beautiful for him, with whom you will FEEL yourself a woman. And paying for his lady on a date is a good indication of whether the man is like that or just a fuck-buddy. But as we say in Russia, if one needs explaining then there is no point in explaining!
Noticed that the ladies hated him bringing up his exes but my pet peeve for first dates: Men ask me about my exes on the first date or when they are trying to 'lay the foundation' before they ask for a date. I don't like it because it always smacks of "you seem nice, there's got to be something wrong...". I've had it said to me right up to the point "you SEEM like a nice girl, why didn't it work out with your exes?". I don't bring up my exes unless I am asked about them. And even then, it can be done so rudely.
How do you see yourself in 5 years is genuine, or you can be in a rot then. That was key for my husband as I got engaged & married having common values of respect, commitment with opposite personalities. As for the picky things like touch, loud, smoke, are personality traits that a compromise can be found. When with friends I get loud or touchy on a restaurant out of fun or speak not proper out of joy with anxiety; my husband taps me on the leg under the table, to stop for him. Smoking can be done outside the home or an specific room, balcony or deck. Marriage is work with great benefits, when no work is done because similarities like being siblings, it becomes nothing more than roommates.
Only someone that doesn't know where they see themselves in five years would be afraid to answer that question, and not having any future plans is like the biggest red flag ever.
My red flags: shows up in street clothes. Talks about his mom too much (indicating he’s a mama ‘s boy),talks about kids (indicating he wants kids), rude to the wait staff, and no sense of humor.
I don't get it; If I (Dutch) go on a date. I am definitely sexually interested and am only looking, if I like his brain and character as much under closer inspection...but it seems most here date, while they do not know if they are interested at all?!? Seems expensive to do that.
You noticed how the woman just automatically assume the guy has to pay for the date, its such an archaic system. Why can't we split the bill while we are still getting to know each other. I'd be pretty upset about spend $50-80 on dinner to have you decide later that you aren't interested.
Because chivalry, Matt Porche.... A lot of cultures (not Europe or 'murikuhh) still believe in chivalry.... And, besides, if you pay the first time, what's the big deal? Don't you want the girl to realize you're a self-sufficient man who can take care of her? PS: I expect the girl to at least indulge in saying "are you sure you want to pay, because we can split the bill if you want" before I insist.... If she automatically expects me to pay, then even if she's interested in me, I wouldn't be....
What you said in the PS is mostly what I meant by my statement, but at the same time Chivalry is more about who, what, and how to stab people in the most knightly way possible, being courteaous to women is kind of a small part of it and is slightly sexist....BUUUUT, that is completely irrelevant to your statement. :D
-When she doesn't order any meat, or if her food order is accompanied by an unreasonable amount of special requests -When she makes a big deal out of who should pay (regardless of who she thinks should pay) -When she doesn't maintain eye contact for more than one second; doubly worse if her eyes are on her watch or phone -When she is a _______ and is completely dependent on her ideology to determine her personal views and values (and not the other way around) -When she gets angry or takes it as a personal attack when you disagree with her
Meeting someone who doesn't like the same kind of food you like. For example, you go out for Chinese food and at the restaurant she confesses that she is a Level 5 Vegan with Nut Allergies. You want to order the Mongolian beef and Cashew Chicken but she can only have broccoli cooked in a special wok. Yeah... that's not going to work.
2:43 splitting the bill --> not a date --> red flag? so this chick wants to earn as much as men, is more than likely pro-alimony, but also wants to have the man pay for her shit... she's the red flag here.
For me..its when a guy starts bragging about his salary or how rich he is..or how many cars does he have...this z a major turn off...nd yeah...definitely stupidity z a major red flag
I used to be an open book.Women say they want "information" and they "want to know about you". But on the flip side they like mystery, that sense of mystery builds attraction. Now if I reveal everything about myself to a woman I'm 100% sure she would not be attracted to me.
