What Boys Look For in Girls 

GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE CORNEAS OF BOYS!!! -Hank Green

"We're crazy, we don't make any sense." -Hank Green, 2014

"Whether or not someone wants to date you is based on.... complete randomness, and is thus a terrible thing to base your self-worth on." Well said.

"How do boys look so hot without makeup?" Because society hasn't told them they needed it yet...

at the start i loved this video because of the strong sarcasm and then i loved it because of how right his opinions are and then i got kind freaked out/intrigued at how he moves his body & limbs so quickly. twas a wild ride.

A man needed to say this. And golly hank was the man to do it.

I laughed so hard when you started talking about other cultures and their definitions of beauty. So clever and cute. THANK YOU for putting out a good message for girls! I wish I had that when I was 14. Would've saved me a lot of heart ache and insecurity and annoyance :)

Totally read the title of this video as "What Books Look For in Girls" and if that doesn't explain my life, I don't know what does.

SO SO SO SO GOOD

I've been told (multiple times) the following statement: "You're so pretty, why don't you wear make-up?" Does anyone else find this statement dumb and an oxymoron? It's really annoying that other girls put this pressure on me (not men - GIRLS) to spend a ridiculous amount of time dolling myself up, because there's always the implicit "your way is wrong" attacking my self-esteem.

We all want to be appreciated...but initial attraction isn't really based in reality. There's a really huge audience of very young women on RU-vid, and I'm really worried about them basing their self-worth on whether they appeal to guys. That seems to be how the world is set up. I'm a dude, of course, so I'm basing this on what I've seen on RU-vid and IRL, but I don't think I'm crazy. I should have said in the video...this isn't meant to be relationship advice. There are lots of good people out there with whom to have relationships, but what they're "looking for" doesn't necessarily correspond with what they actually want or need. That "love at first sight" moment is pretty much the least interesting moment of a relationship (despite being one of the most exciting.) What Boys Look For in Girls

My earliest experience of being judged on my looks, was at about 6 or 7 years old when I asked my mother if I could cut my hair short and she said I could but I wasn't to come crying to her if boys didn't like me. I think what parents say to children at a young age is so important as it can affect them for the rest of their lives. The amount of times as a very young child 3 maybe 4 years old I heard my mother say something along the lines of " my thighs are soooo huge, my stomach is so big or my waist isn't small enough" affect me so much that at 9 years old I developed an eating disorder, to conform to my mothers idea of beauty or the perfect body. If there are any parents reading this, please, I beg of you to not say these things in ground of your children, it can affect them for the rest of their lives.

"In England men wear really tight pants for example, and I wish I could pull those pants off." Phrasing, Hank. Phrasing.

Ironic how a lot of the comments here are from men saying what they find beautiful in women. The point is, it doesn't matter what these men think. Even if it's in good spirit, it's still a standard women are meant to meet in order to provide appeal to men. Ignore these comments and do whatever you want.

This poem still makes me cry (the ending): "you do not have to be pretty if you don't want to it's not your job" Girls, it's not your job.

GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE EYES OF BOYS. Quote of the day.

"GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE CORNEAS OF BOYS!" Added to my favourite quotes, and needed on a T-shirt.

"you exist for your own sake" hit me hard

I would be more convinced if you waved your arms just a bit more.

I once told a friend that I was going on a date that evening. she immediately asked me "is he cute?" I thought about it, and responded, "not really, but he's not ugly" she was aghast at my frankness and asked me why I was going on a date with him if I didn't think he was cute. I don't like it people feel that I must decide about someone's looks before deciding about their personality and it mutual compatibility. I want to think my husband is very handsome, but I believe that once I have a husband, I will love how he looks because his face means all the things that I love about him. "and was Mr. Rochester then ugly in my eyes, reader? no, his was the face I most liked to see."

Hank, you're legitimately the best person on RU-vid. You never fail to amaze me with your cleverness and sense of humor.

"Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys." That is the most inspirational statement I've heard in a really long time

"You do not exist to please someone else, you exist for your own sake" This hit me hard and I've realised I have to do things for myself not for someone to "accept me". I have to accept myself. Thank you Hank :)

What a guy wants in a girl: A girl that he likes being around. What makes him like being around her? Well, that's specific to him.

I especially love how he made the point that there is /nothing/ wrong with liking to wear makeup and caring about what clothes you wear and how your hair looks or whatever, but that it should always be on your own terms, for yourself, not for anybody else. I think that's something really important that gets left out of discussions about this, even the (albeit generic) positive, "everyone is beautiful for being themselves" ones (because those can sometimes seem to be saying that people /shouldn't/ wear makeup, and there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup if you genuinely like to).

When I think I'm attracted to a girl, I as myself a few questions: Is she intelligent? Is she unique in an interesting way? Is she responsible? Is she mature? Do we have compatible interests? If the answer to any of these is no, I move on. Notice anything physical on that list? I think it's always best to like someone for what your ears tell you, not your eyes (or your genitals.)

Mimei is right~ It's not normal at all to get your teeth unstraightened in Japan. It's just not common TO straighten them. Insurance doesn't cover braces and they're very expensive, and other facial features (eyes, nose, face size) take priority over teeth when it comes to analyzing beauty. It doesn't detract from the message of the video at all because they do have different standards of beauty, but Mimei is right that this is something that sort of evolved in the Western media to seem much bigger than it really is. A good example that Westerners might find strange would be "head/face size." East Asians in general have larger heads in proportion to their body than Westerners. The smaller your face in Japan, the better. -Rachel

Hank, before I say anything else, I want to say that I'm not stalking your old videos just to randomly comment on it...in fact, I this is the video I watch every night before I go to bed which is what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm going to be honest with you, I like every other teenage girl has at one point been sucked into the game of makeup and hair and expensive clothing in order to impress boys. I watched this video my freshman year of high school which was my lowest year... I valued my life on what others said about me and try to conform myself into someone else in order to please others. And I started watching this video because it seemed like you were simply informing about what other cultures do, when the video changed my life. (I know, the sappiest thing you've ever read, right?) well, it's true. I had never thought about what my life would be like if I stopped caring about others opinion of me was and instead cared on what I valued myself. I have grown out of the makeup and expensive clothes phase, but I still watch this video every night to remind myself of why. I just simply wanted to reach out and tell you, thanks. You may read this, you may not and that's fine. I'm simply a nerdfighter who is proud to say that your wisdom and humor has brought joy to my life. Congrats on meeting the president, exciting! And I'll see you here tomorrow night as usual. DFTBA

Funny how he said not to seek validation from men and the comments are 50% females grateful to have received validation from this man!

"Young men love with their eyes, not with their hearts" -Shakespeare

i usually look for a pulse in a girl

i remember when this video came out, i was 13 and i really invested in all of those videos of “what boys look for in girls” i clicked on this video interested in what hank had to say, and i remember being really mind blown by it. i’ve thought about this video a lot since then, and i’m happy to see it again.

"You exist for your own sake." That's too perfect.

I really wish every woman in the world would watch this video.

When I was a teen, my Mom told me that men don't have to wear make up and women do, because women are inherently uglier than men. This was to drive home the point that it was very important for me (a girl) to wear make-up and nice clothes if I ever wanted to "catch a man." I told her that maybe men and women were the same and she just thought that cause that's what commercials were telling her to get her to buy things. She looked at me like I had two heads. Anyway...thanks for the fantastic video Hank!

I simply stopped giving a shit about what other people think about me, make-up or no make up, i simply stopped caring about the opinion of random strangers. I've come to find that I am a lot happier once I have adopted this mindset

Dear Hank, I feel like I would have grown up to be a completely different person (a person who I wouldn't like) if I had not grown up watching yours and John's videos. Such a simple thing, three or four minutes every few days, but you two have made such a wonderful impact on my life. Thank you for teaching me to be myself. DFTBA.

What a man should look for in a woman? Internal organs. Brain function. Lack of overall dead...ness. That sort of thing.

I love the hell out of my girlfriend's rant on makeup. "It's like I'm looking at Home Depot...for my face. There are things to fill in the cracks, hold stuff together, smooth out others, a base coat and then the surface paint." God I love my woman.

As a black girl I have grown up feeling inferior all my life and somewhat idolizing white people or mixed races, but I've never felt pressure to look good for a guy. I mainly put pressure on myself because I wanted the positive attention they received. I remember feeling like I had to make up for my skin color. I was all kinds of pathetic. 

It's lovely how Hank has responded to the horrible things the male youtubers have done, it really shook me up but I feel like Hank and John are like the dads of this community, and this video trying to address the issues youtube has created of young women idolising young male youtubers has made me love them even more.

I saw that tumblr post too! Someone later commented, "It's because no one has ever told them they look bad without it."

I don't wear cosmetics. I don't need them for my face to look good, nor do I want them. I just wear blue contacts and dye my hair blonde. But it's not to attract boys, it's only because I want to do it. I mean, why should a guy influence what I wear? It isn't like they have to make the first move. If I get to know a guy and want to date him, I'm going for it.

There are a million online and magazine articles about how women can be more appealing to men- 'what guys look for in a girl', 'fashion trends men hate', 'dumb things women do to drive men away', 'beauty trends men hate', 'what men think about your shoes' (no shit, that one is real). Women's magazines are all about how to make men want you, love you, commit to you, stay with you, approve of you. Yet, rarely is the same focus made of men- there will be no articles telling you what clothes to stop wearing for our benefit, which personality traits to cultivate or conceal as it pleases us, how to get us to commit, our opinions on our shoes. When men's magazines mention relationships, it's in the form of articles on how to get women into bed, or what to say (what lies to tell) to avoid an argument, how shop for lingerie for your girlfriend, how to tell when it's time to dump someone, "Is she high maintanence?" quizzes. You won't be told what's wrong with you that's driving women away. Media assumes that women live for men, and men live for themselves.

"You do not exist to please someone else." That's like every cross-sectional analysis of feminism in a single sentence. Kudos.

This is so good! Thank you, Hank. After I started making videos about why I love having super short hair, I started showing up in search results for that topic which led me to start getting a lot of comments about how that is supposedly not attractive to men. Men in those comments started talking about how disgusted they are by women with short hair including their own mothers and daughters. Men in those comments had all manner of excuses from the bible about why God supposedly thinks women should not have short hair and also PS they think it's ugly in case I was wondering. And you know what? Those comments stopped bothering me when I stopped changing my physical appearance solely to please other people. AND IT FEELS AWESOME. And I love my hair like this. Things have been so much better for me since I started truly believing that my appearance exists to make me happy. What other people find attractive is far too random and unpredictable to base something important like your self worth on. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. Also, holy crap the new recording with the cool new band sounds GREAT, Hank!! I can't wait to hear the rest of them! Awesome job so far, based on what I've heard in that little clip.

Well put Hank, we can always count on you for great perspective

I remember watching this when I was 13 before I knew I was trans and just sobbing bc no one had ever told me I don't need to worry about being pretty. It was a little thing, but it really stuck with me after all these years

I'm always surprised when people go "Oh wow, I didn't realize how superficial our culture has become!" because I think about that almost every day. It's hard for me _not_ to think about how bad our culture is becoming.

This could have gone so wrong with that title, then it went somewhere great. It's kind of disturbing that people accept others for how they are (boys without make up), but feel they have to alter the way they are to be accepted by others.

I'm seeing a lot of comments from guys along the lines of 'I don't like it when girls wear lots of make up anyway' and 'I prefer a natural look' and 'Actually I think nerd girls are hot.' These statements might be well-intentioned but they don't help - they still imply that women should present themselves in certain ways to please *you*, not themselves. Get comfortable with the idea of girls determining their own self-worth and work from there.

This video helped me a lot as a 14-year old. It still rattles around in my head at 21. Thanks, Hank.

I wonder how much time I would have saved as a teenager if I knew exactly what Hank was saying instead trying to conform myself for men and not for me. I could be running the world by now, frankly.

"Girls are not the photons that hit the cornea's of boys" #QuoteoftheMonth :)

I feel like I should watch all your videos. In a short time. Without any break.

It's not only that young women base herself worth on her appearance, its that our society is contorted to the point that that is the only thing that matters about her. I have been told that I am pretty, and I know that I am smart, BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD BY A BOY THAT I AM SMART! The only thing that our society is interested in is apperance! This leads to it being the only depending point in dating. I would rather have a smart boyfriend then a hot, stupid boyfriend. I would rather be seen as smart than pretty.

This is why I love and respect both you and John so much, Hank. I know I'm always down about my looks and constantly wonder how I will ever find someone when I'm not beautiful like I want to be, but I know I have to stop basing my worth on that. It's a big problem that I see with my friends, too. I hope society can move toward a future that doesn't put as much pressure on guys and girls to be "perfect". Thanks for another great video :)

New t-shirt for DFTBA records: "Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys!" Like so he can see. =D

"Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys" - one of the best ways of putting it ever.

"You do not exist to please someone else. You exist for YOUR OWN sake!" Bold of you to assume I exist!

Thank you!

This video actually made me start crying because all my life I've been called ugly, and for once I get to hear someone I respect and admire talk about how little importance attraction is. Thank you.

Honestly, I'd say women are pressured into wearing makeup by other women FAR more than they are pressured men. It's about fashion, self-worth and peer pressure much more than about the opposite gender. I honestly believe if tomorrow, every girl stopped wearing makeup, most guys wouldn't care. I'm seeing this trend whereby women are indirectly insulted by good intentions. Like telling women 'you don't have to wear makeup to make guys like you' - well-intention, but it rests on the assumption that they're doing this in the first place, which I think many women would vehemently disagree with - they wear makeup or certain clothing or whatever else because THEY LIKE IT. I'm not accusing Hank of this, I pretty much agree entirely with what he said in the video, but it's something I've noticed generally. I dunno, does anyone agree with me?

It's been over a year now since I first saw this video, and I still come back and watch it every once in a while. This was the thing that really drilled into my head that I don't have to constantly be worrying about the way I look. Looks are somewhat important to me, because I feel like it's a way to sort of tell people a little about myself before they get to know me. But it's also just a small fraction of the person that I am and the person that I want to be. So it may not matter if I have a bit of pudge on my tummy, or that my top teeth have some gaps, or if sometimes I dress a little wacky, or if I decide to not wear any makeup that day (which I do a lot more often now), because people are still going to like me. And if they don't, those are the people that I know I probably wouldn't get along with anyways. So thanks, Hank, for helping me realize that. And I will probably continue to stop in here and watch this video every once in a while, just to remind myself.

I wear makeup for my auditions and such, and obviously when I'm actually on a film set. But I'm very grateful that I'm not socially pressured to wear it ALL the time.

We cannot deny that there are good men in the world. Hank exists. (And John and many many other peoples of course). But it's always nice to be reminded.

"We're crazy. We don't make any sense!" Finally, someone came right out and said it. This answers almost all philosophical questions. There is just one little problem: if we are crazy and don't make any sense, how is it possible to create something that seems to makes sense -- something like this video?

I actually cried while watching this. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and helping me to realise that my self worth shouldn't be solely based on my looks. Instagram and other social media platforms have severely distorted my perception of beauty.

'Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys' is one of my favourite quotes now.

There are very few videos I wish I could like more than once, however this is one of them I want to be like "have all my thumbs!" but then again I only have two thumbs. Basically, Hank Green knocks it out of the park yet again.

Good on you for bringing it to our attention, Hank. I find it sad that not more people automatically feel this way. Boys and girls alike should stop worrying about whether they look attractive because the end result is they'll just be piquing their physique and nothing else - making them effectively less attractive. Most people don't look for appearance, they look for depth. And while good appearance is a great thing to have, it's better to appear great. DFTBA, world, DFTBA.

Say whatever you want this is one of my favorite videos ever

"GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE CORNEAS OF BOYS." Someone put that on a t-shirt!

I think that, in reply to the tumblr question, it's because culture has made it that to feel sexy, you must wear make up. I remember that on an askreddit thread, someone said that "You look better without makeup." can actually be an insult and not a compliment, because it can express that you are displeased with how the makeup, which spent time, looks. It's basically like saying that you do not like my standard of beauty which I have asserted myself into. Or it could be that men are more commonly seen without makeup than women.

I think people aren't getting the point... It isn't that everyone is beautiful, or that looking amazing isn't a valid goal. It's that you should only care about your OWN standards. Not some hypothetical other's. That's what all that confidence stuff they go on about is. If you desire the perfect mate, you should take steps to be the perfect mate.

I usually have the same opinions as Hank except he says them so much smarter than me

That was perfect. Thank you, kind sir. Also, might I point out that in the animal kingdom it's often the other way around: males usually have to make themselves look extremely 'pretty' to attract females. :)

The song at the end got me super excited! Hank's voice has really improved, I don't know what it is but it sounds better. (And I promise this isn't a backhanded insult or anything, I love Hank's music, I just also think people are always striving to improve and we should celebrate when they do c:)

The thing is, WE tear each other apart too. If it was only boys, we (girls) could lift each other up, but women criticize other women all the time. And it makes no sense to me. There's more to it than the pressure of being acceptable by society, now it seems we have to compete with each other & I think its really sad. We shouldn't judge each other so harshly. And I think this happens because there's this glorious notion of being original and special and girls often put others down because of it. We find pride in things other girls do that we don't, instead accepting differences and moving along.

I'm crying...I really needed to hear this and I didn't even realize how much thank you

This, by far, explains every opinion I'm pretty sure that I've ever had.

I personally don't wear makeup usually, only when it strikes my fancy. But I don't judge people that do. To each their own. :)

At moments like this I wish there was a 'love' button.

Hank and John are both EXCELLENT on delivering messages and this is just one example

I think this is probably the single most well spoken video in this "Genre," on the internet. I entirely agree.

and then people get mad when I make a vlog about feminism... oh youtube

self respect is something that requires very little effort to put on and is extremely attractive. Seriously. Mentally and physically, people who are comfortable with who they are attract others who are the same way. It just doesn't seem like that in school because people go there to find out who they are.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST VIDEO REGARDING THE TOPIC - EVER

Really good idea to put the "Okay" design on packs of tissues...we're gonna need those on June 6th...

FYI, it's not just the makeup. Sometimes girls try to change their appearance by enhancing their boobs, butt, reducing their weight, or making sure they aren't too muscular cause that's too 'manly', lightening or tanning their skin etc. There are just too many things that are dictated based on the preference of the male eye!!

I think that attractiveness changes with what is historically an effort to obtain at that time and in that place. For example, at one point pale skin in women was considered attractive because it meant they did not work in the fields; being fat was attractive hundreds of years ago because food was scarce and in contrast now where being overweight is seen as lazy being, physically fit (beyond the point of healthy) with muscles and stuff means hard work. I guess this could be left over from the survive and reproduce mindset of an species not developed to our level of intelligence which still makes us focus on certain body parts that were instrumental in bringing up healthy new members of the species.

i will never forget the first time i saw this... i was twelve and it popped into my sub box. it still sticks with me, six years later. thank you, hank

It's a shame this video had to exist. I mean, for the content, the horrid messed-up-ness of our twisted beauty ideals. I'm glad that you made this video, Hank, because even though I know what you say is true, I (and we, obviously) need to be reminded of it. Constantly. Unfortunately.

Great job, Hank :)

DEAR NASH FUCKING GRIER. You have been educated by Hank Green.

Watched this for the first time today! Yeah, I was on a film shoot presenting (not big, so we did our own makeup). Myself and a male presenter were.... presenting. I was smothered in makeup whereas he was just himself - watching the footage back - it makes me so angry, because I had to do so much to look "normal" and appear beautiful! It's horrible the differences between male and female :(. Great video though, not what I expected but I love it! :D xxxxx

Thank you for making this video. I'm glad there are some sane people left in the world.

take notes, Nash Grier

From my experience, girls don't wear makeup because they want to look good for men. We do it because we like the way it looks (ourselves). In fact, a lot of guys say they think a girl looks better without makeup, and we're like, whatever, I still like wearing it so I'm going to, regardless of your opinion.

Oh My... I stumbled through so many video essays about this exact topic not knowing 8 years ago Hank Green told it all in 3mins33seconds 😂 In my freshman year, I was washing my face in the restroom and a sophomore, whom I only know from class but hadn't really talked, suddenly talked to me and asked me if I wanted to put on some lipstick. She always wear perfect makeup (I never understand that because in my country it's hot and most of us travel by motorbikes, she rides her own, too), and when I kept saying no she's like "girls should wear a bit makeup so we can look better". I'm never against makeup, I wanted to learn it too but my skin is sensitive while I haven't got enough time and money to experience products and yada yada. But I use lip balm to keep my lips from drying and cracking, and for me that's okay because... I'm going to college doing a major I don't really like, I have more important thing to care about 😅 I was just washing my face to fresh myself up before class 😂 to me that is more important than wearing a makeup that makes me *perhaps* look better but feel uncomfortable. She gave up after all, but that's like the first time I felt uncomfortable about the beauty standard that some people take and try to impose on others, especially when I'm the type that doesn't like to be told what to do 🥹