I live with constant joint pain in the hands and fingers and even my daughter’s dad doesn’t care my foster mom thinks that i could have rheumatoid arthritis, but I don’t know i think that she may be right but doctors aren’t willing to help me
As someone w severe chronic pain all I can say is we’re ALL resilient for still being here while having to work three times as hard as anyone else just to feel ok.
You are so right i live with chronic pain. What keeps me smiling at isiah 33:24 no one will say i am sick in jehovah gods new world here on earth like in the garden of eden it was jehovah gods original purpose for mankind. Not like as many religions teach when you die you go to heaven. Speak with one of Jehovah's witness to find out more ❤❤❤
It's funny right? All these healthy people thinking how this was just "sooooo inspirational!" yet to ppl with actual pain this is just borderline ablist nonesense no chronically ill person would ever preach.
Daily chronic pain takes away your independence, hobbies, relationships, identity. You are living a game of losing. Chronic pain is not a choice! And resilience is not a cure! When you suffer from chronic pain you learn to pretend that everything is alright, go above and beyond to do activities in an ableism society and learn to numb your emotions. At the end of the day, all I crave for is for physical relief. The absolute and whole sensation of feeling like a weightless feather.
The part where he said “imagine you have a severe headache that never goes away and nobody believes you” I started crying... because I don’t have to imagine. I live that.
Try earthing, it's good for almost all health problems including headache, migraine. Go DIY a grounding mat, pillow or sheet to use at home. No need to buy, it's free and effortless.
Monoke Shoten, Please hang on. Don't give up. You're not Alone!! I too am a chronic pain patient. Please join "Don't Punish Pain National Rally " and Don't punish pain rally in your state. On Facebook. We are fighting for our rights. We will win!
I don’t know, at this point I’m starting to see Monoke’s point of view right now. But I guess you all know this feeling, just hoping it’s a fleeting moment. It’s amazing what pain can do to people. How it slowly pushes all the people out of your life either purposely or unconsciously. I was once recognized as the most outgoing and popular, need-to-do-well students in HS. 20 years later, I’m starting to not recognize that this person was ever real or if he had died slowly sometime between my first hemolytic pain crisis occurrence up to now. Even with the meds, like today, I just don’t see the point of pretending anymore that this life was ever worth living..
This is clearly a case of 'there is chronic pain' and 'there is chronic pain'. Millions of people have chronic pain. I belonged to the first group of chronic pain sufferers, since I was 13. But I managed to go to school, uni, get a job, have relationships, social life, travel etc. Then age 33, I had an accident and then the other chronic pain' hit. The kind that takes all that away, no surgery, no pain medication, no amount of yoga/meditation/exercise/PT takes away (of course they help), but it leaves you so so so very lonely and hopeless. I don't feel like a failure because I no longer participate in what society expects me to do - work full time, have kids, family, hobbies, go out, be social etc. I have accepted my new life and try to make the best of it, but resilient? What other option do we have if we are still breathing right now?
Too simplistic...until you’ve lived for years with incurable severe pain that never goes away, I don’t believe u can really understand...but hopefully others will hear something here that helps them.
Cynthia darling, this is for all the people who "claim" they have chronic pain but it's not unbearable. There is a very specific difference. if you missed he mentioned the Opioid Epidemic earlier in the video. It is simple for those whose pain is not primarily physical. now I've had chronic back pain I'm 25 now since 19 . I'm young now so it doesnt hurt, but sometimes I'll hit the top step if the stairs and I cant move my back straight for a few seconds and it hurts really bad. a vision of what is to come. this videos so people like me who havent had the bad effects yet to work better and become better people and take care of themselves. and that way he will HAVE more time for people who actually have been living years with some serious pain and no relief. Resilience can be it's own remedy. in a way but you have to decode this message.
Here, here! I was resilient the first couple of years after herniating my L4 disk at work, then followed 4 lumbar surgeries (2 to correct mishaps), including a 2-level fusion, which is now causing the disks above and below to break down. My resilience packed up and left around year 5 of suffering in severe pain. I'm now at the end of year 8, but maybe I am resilient, because I'm STILL HERE to type this message.
Yes, I have chronic pain, and it is constant, from waking me up many times a night through the entire day and evening. Yes people's lives are completely destroyed by pain. I disagree with you saying. you can choose how pain affects your life. Messages like this are really bad for society. really horrible to be allowed to say categorize people in pain with these descriptions.
It's real easy for you to say if it just emotional but to physically not be able to do something is different. It takes a different toll on your mind and body. Yes you can always make a good situation out of a bad one but some of us can't just get better by thinking that way
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What does it matter if a person cannot relate? To feel as though someone relates is merely a comfort blanket until a solution can be found. It says nothing for a persons ability to help others find solutions. Does a doctor have to personally have survived every illness to understand how to treat it?
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I have knee pain and I'm concerned I might have to switch career or get surgery at the worst. But my sensible self knows if I avoid aggravating it outside of work doing heavy exercises I shouldn't and stretching I will be ok. That being said I don't have serious chronic pain so I don't know if positive talk can cure something so terrible.
I liked your video.. Only i disagree in the point that we can not choose how the pain is effecting our lives.. Pain which is chronic will in most cases (with me it happened after 9 years of pain) result in depression and mental problems.. These are things which we can not choose.. It happenes on completely unconscious level.. There is not only the pain itself but also a deep deep grief which we are feeling everyday..
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It’s an individual thing. Very subjective. Some are more resilient than others. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t effect them. It just means they don’t let it keep them down. Also I’ve met ppl with autoimmune disorders & yet they don’t get anxiety, simply because they don’t really think about it. I can attest that perspective is everything.
Im only 21 and I have been living with severe chronic pain for the last four and a half years. College has been very hard. Suicidal ideation and cutting is constantly on my mind as well as clinical depression and anxiety. Doctors have misdiagnosed me over three times and still aren’t able to treat me. Believe me I’ve tried so so so many things (mainly opioids at the moment). It hurts to use my arm at all. It started in the brachial plexus area but then spread down to my hand, neck and now (started this year) back too. I have zero friends and no longer live in home with my family because i am at school. I try to be grateful for what I do have, which I recognize, but I also feel guilty to admit I’m suffering because I’m blessed in many other ways, if that makes sense (especially after his testimony). I am missing out in so many college things, and opportunities which I am grieving in a way. (In addition to grieving my life before this started). Anyways that’s my venting that no one asked for.
Did he just say suffering iis a choice my god imagine been stabbed day n night from the inside and saying suffering that pain is a choice argh 😭 oh I'd love to see him feeling knifing pain 24 hours of the fkn day see then if he'd say people r complaining I'm out
This is not very helpful as it suggests that chronic pain is the result of a person’s personality, willpower (or lack thereof) and simple resilience. In essence, it places blame on the person suffering from chronic pain and it makes light of the real physical limitations pain can result in. Of course attitude, self-care and mental flexibility play a role. However, suggesting that chronic pain can be overcome by resilience or a change in attitude is misguided and unhelpful. Anyone suffering from chronic pain would change their mindset and attitude in a second if that’s all it took!
The doctor-hopper part doesn't sit well with me? Like, be resilient but don't try to find cure. Basically, the message is just suffer and put yourself as a priority, but if you're unproductive and can't be independant, then you're making yourself a victim? Sorry, but this is a very weak message to people who have been in pain for years now. It is very clear to me that this doctor had no personal experience with chronic pain because only people who don't experience it can tell you something like this
If I didn't get a second and 3rd opinion I wouldn't know I have 4 herniated cervical discs that crushed nerves, so yeah it's best to keep searching when your body is telling you something's not right. And my dad had pain in his bladder went from doctor to doctor for a year finally found one that found he has bladder cancer and now it's too late. Some doctors are better than others so never feel it's wrong getting as many different opinions as U want ✌️
I spent 11 years with a misdiagnosis while going from one doctor to the next searching for a cure to get my once-productive and pain-free life back. It took becoming visually impaired from a degenerative eye disease to connect the dots on what was really wrong with me. I referred myself to a geneticist who specialized in what I suspected I might have and the rest is history. I continue to get worse with age, but at least I know what is wrong with me and now I don't bother chasing doctors and magic cures, even if I still have to see doctors, physical therapists, etc., way too much. I just have to accept it and the current depression and anxiety from my disease and comorbid conditions, compounded by severe isolation, for the past twenty years. In all honesty, doctors just don't care to see or treat the whole person, but I also don't live in Canada with socialized healthcare.
I’ve lived with extreme pain in my hips for 3 years now. I’m 21 with 2 hip replacements. I was a world class athlete for years winning across the nation. I lost all that in an instant. I’ve been struggling to find meaning in life ever since. All my brain can think about is how much pain I’m in. Every step. Every move. I just don’t know what to do anymore
Hi you have to keep fighting. I am in the same position but I wasn't a athlete . It's horrible and no one will ever understand. Your a soilder now and your fighting in a war that no one else can see . It's horrific but it's going to be ok . You have to hold in there and you will find a way . I'm sorry for what your going though but don't let it make you hate. You can and will do this I believe in you and luv you so keep up that fight and even though they can't see it feel it you can and you will prevail . Be strong
May I ask what happened which led to the situation you're in? Or it just happened randomly? For me, I randomly have had pain on the top of my foot and has no rhyme or reason.. Been like this for 3 years and I'm hoping something will change soon. Also, I recommend the book The Mindbody Prescription by Dr. John E Sarno. Only book I've ever read twice, and also the only thing which has given somewhat long term result so far
Awful. Categorising people in patronising, over simplistic identities. The attitude of seeing productivity as a person's worth. To be living in chronic pain and look for support online during difficult times and find this sort of smug, "suffering is a choice" rhetoric really sucks. Arrogant, thoughtless.
Especially coming from a man that compares the agony of living years or decades in non stop physical pain to his wife having a few miscarriages where in the end they have a successful pregnancy. It's infuriating.
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Sciatic pain is truly something that I wish no one experiences at the age that I have.😢 Im 21 and this has truly become an extremely debilitating thing for me.
Exactly the same here brother, just turned 22. Spent my pretty much my whole 21-st year at home in pain. The psychical pain is bad but to me the mental pain is worst. All the things I miss out on, my outlet that was the gym and fighting sports I can’t do know. I can work a few hours a day but after that I am to tired and I have to much pain to actually do things I enjoy. I feel your pain brother, stay strong, it will get better one day. The harshest battles make the greatest warriors, you are being prepared to do something great friend. Keep hope and invest the little energy you have into the people that actually care about you; that will show brutally when you are not around your friends and family as much as you were, so some people stop contacting you or checking in on you. The ones that stay loyal are the ones to keep💪🏼👊🏼
Yeah your 3 miscarriages = having pain everyday for years, guys out of touch. Yeah we understand that resilience has to be exercised, infact people who are in chronic pain have to be stronger than anyone else and it's being strong for too long that hurts us.
So emotional pain is the same as physical Chronic pain? I’ve had both and I strongly disagree. My body hurts me a lot worse than any anxiety I’ve had. I have myositis
I don't understand how its acceptable to put trivial labels on chronic pain patients like that. Imagine the outrage if a patient of some other illness like cancer was given equivalent advice, being told they’re not healing because of their lack of resilience.
I think you’re not seeing my point, so let me explain. Chronic pain is a very complex condition that is an individual experience, varying considerably physically and psychologically from patient to patient. However, he seemed to trivialise this fact, compartmentalising patients into a few very simple patient types with derogatory names. That’s why I think this video only serves to alienate those who still suffer from chronic pain after trying what he calls “being resilient”. It’s very easy to judge people if you’re not the one experiencing their pain. I’m not saying his approach to healing is wrong. Some may benefit from being told they’re catastrophising, but to make it sound like resilience is all that people who suffer from chronic pain are missing is totally blind. I get it, a lot of the time the cause of chronic pain is very hard to pinpoint, so mental intervention might sometimes be the only way of improving quality of life. However, if that’s the approach to treating chronic pain from the go, the actual cause of the pain might be overlooked, and patients are left to suffer with pain they could have treated physically, if only a doctor had just listened to the patient and considered many different diagnoses. In fact, this was exactly my experience. I suffered from chronic pain in my neck for the last 2 years, and yes some doctors told me to toughen up, be resilient, and believe me I was. I kept doing neck and shoulder physio, kept going to different doctors only to see puzzled faces of doctors not knowing why I was still in pain. Finally, one doctor managed to pinpoint I had Facet joint pain, and that there were indeed other injection treatment methods I could try, and not just “mental” treatments. Yes, I spent 2 years in pain, because the many doctors I saw before weren’t creative enough and “resilient” enough themselves in actually identifying the cause of pain. Instead they just handed out painkillers and told me to toughen up. Isn’t it nice for the doctor to be able to take the weight off their shoulders, and blame the condition on the lack of resilience of the patient? So I hope you now understand my “You wouldn’t tell” metaphor. If you discredit someone’s argument without even trying to listen to their view first, you’ve already lost.
@@asdfghjkl41114 You need resilience if you've got chronic pain. Your body has legitimately changed from the norm. Mine has chronic pain, chronic deformities, bone disease, nerve scarring, failed surgeries and arthritis. I've done all I can and am literally stuck now. I can only get worse and can never get better. I want comfort, so I am fighting for comfort but accepting the pain. A lot of pain patients overdramatize their pain. You need to be realistic. Stop saying "Everything hurts" or "I'm an 11 on a scale of 1-10". By being overdramatic you cause problems for the rest of us. I have different types of pain and different levels in my body. I can pinpoint my bad areas and do gain a sort of domino effect by making everything hurt if I don't care for my pain areas. The fact you were even given pain pills is more than some of us can say. Try being 12 and told to deal with it when your elbow has shattered and your surgery was malpractice ruining your joint and you couldn't sue cause the doctor was on the run. Try being my age now and having to fight for help, being told 30 is still too young for arthritis. While we all suffer from pain, some people really aren't resilient. Seeing someone with a papercut complain nonstop for a week like they've broken their arm is kinda sad. I am not discrediting their pain, but some people are just super sensitive. My father has had bones snapped and bounce back from it like nothing. After my first surgery, I got frustrated more than anything and wasn't really in pain. My mother has had 60 stomach surgeries and still cares for her mother and us kids. We've all got tons of conditions and we're still living. Meanwhile someone with one of our conditions whines and complains and says they can't work and lives off disability. That is bad resilience whether you want to admit it or not. Your body is supposed to learn to cope with pain. I find it hard that people can't deal with pain after many years of it always being there. Sure I've had bad days, but I have responsibilities and a life to life. I can't just give up.
@No one I’m very sorry if I offended you. I didn’t mean to alienate you or discredit resilience as a way of healing for people who actually may not be able to find a cure. What I was attempting to point out was, for those of us who are lucky enough to have physical interventions that work, being prescribed resilience is a long winded way to relief from pain. I can see that my condition is a lot milder than yours, but that does not mean I am supposed to give up on finding a physical cure and suffice with mental relief. I think trying to find a physical cure no matter what some people or doctors may tell you is also a form of resilience. But again I suppose I am a part of the lucky few that actually managed to find a physical relief.
With all due respect, this guy is oversimplifying matters. Go listen instead to what Jordan Peterson has to say about pain and suffering. He really get it.
I'm writing this for anyone who didn't find an answer in this video, we are all both, I don't think you can categorise people into either or categories of (resilient or victims), those subjects should be dealt with compasion which is the biggest struggle for someone with chronic pain (you are expected to live like you don't have it), the standards of the status quo expectations out of a functional person are draining to you (not necessarily impossible), so far I feel that my life has been pretty productive and successful although no one ever witnesses my physical or mental setbacks, at those times I do align more with the (victim) description not in the mindset he described though, the thoughts that enter my head are like (why should I keep going if I'm in too much pain or fatigue to feel the pleasure of my own accomplishments) (why should I bother hang out with others when I am in too much pain to enjoy it or blend in) but at the same time I try to think that even those good feelings I couldn't feel would've been temporarily, maybe meaning isn't tied to those feelings, I feel grateful for the people in my life even if they don't understand this, the best thing in the situation is that there is always someone who would understand (a community of people like you), I wish I had the energy to actually feel like a victim like the guy in the video described 😂, my best advice would be you don't have enough energy to do something you hate, whilst it might make sense for someone else to endure things (majors, careers, people) they don't like for a reason or a reward like money and status, it wouldn't make sense for you to spend so much energy for an outcome you won't get to enjoy, your energy and tolerance is scarce but it's there, tailor your life to what would work for you even if it was too simple or unaccomplished for someone else
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Rubbish. Glad you think you’ve got it all figured out doc, but you don’t. One does not CHOOSE to suffer just as one does not choose to not be able to stand or sit or walk or take care of one’s children or work or have a life. One does not CHOOSE to be a burden on their loved ones or to feel completely alone or to reach the end of all hope. You can label “those who suffer” however you want and stuff them neatly into your compartmentalized little boxes, but the fact is that doctors like you are the real crisis. Doctors like you, who say “pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it”, and think that positive thinking is the way to give someone back some quality of life, are simply stealing a living.
This is insulting. You have an example of a lady that got better. Some of us do not have an option of getting better. Some of us have strong minds but we can’t do much with it. We are stuck in our own heads and our own dreams of what we could do if we could just get off the couch longer than an hour or two. I had to have my tubes tied because I don’t have the physical energy or ability to have any children. Also having kids could have killed me. I used to do volunteer work at animal sanctuary’s. Now I can’t. It has nothing to do with negative thoughts. I have a rare connective tissue disorder. People with my disease do not get better. I accept my fate and I deal with pretty well but you Sir are just insulting.
This video was not insulting. I have a condition that won’t get better as well. Look at it this way. Yes you cannot do things you normally couldn’t do before and your body feels like it’s against you. Your ego is in the way from staying positive. That’s a truth I have been there. Find a way to live in the present and ways to make you happy. Some or a lot of things are not reachable but not everything. Don’t take life so personally. You missed the point of the video so did many others.
I've been on opiods for 8 years, I wouldn't be able to live if it wasn't for pain medication. The opiod crisis in my opinion is based of people who abuse the system and most aren't even prescribed opiods who succumb to it.
Amen to that. I've been in chronic pain since i was a teenager. My life has been defined by the pain, the trying to function, the guilt that comes from being a 'failure', the guilt foisted on me by a few psychiatrists who tried to (and in one case did) convince me that my pain was all in my head or not as bad as it was, the guilt from my family and friends who think I am a drug addict. I am just so tired. I'm tired of all of that, and mostly, I am tired of managing a chronic illness. Suffering is not optional, pain demands to be felt. This guy's point of view is toxic. He's the kind of guy who makes people like me feel worse. I've tried his way of doing things, and it led me to attempt suicide. Not because i'm weak, but because i've had to be strong for too long.
I hope you’re okay. I promise your resilience is appreciated and you owe it to yourself, you’ve fought for so long and proven yourself wrong so many times
@@danieltate2006 I wish I could give you a soft, loving hug, Daniel. I'm in the very same boat as you are. I've had 4 lumbar spine surgeries (including 2-level fusion) and am left with mind-blowing agony. I am 56 years old, and did have a great legal career until 2012, when my world was blown up. No one -- and I mean NO ONE -- will EVER understand what we go through until they have had to live through it. I hope you find your peace.
The fact that he compares his temporary situation of having 3 miscarriages with chronic pain shows that he doesn't understand what chronic means. In most of our situations our pain is debilitating (as in it interferes in ALL aspects of our lives. We're not living life as usual with just one small aspect of it going wrong... it's ALL gone) and there is NO END IN SIGHT. When I found out I couldn't have kids, it was barely a blip on my radar compared to all of the other losses I had experienced due to my chronic pain... but sure, it's my lack of resilience that make our situations different, duh. I have NEVER heard of an entire team working 5 days a week with a single patient, ever. The average wait time just to get into a pain clinic in Canada is 3 years, so I don't know what fantasy world you live in where patient get that level of care. I can't even get most of my doctors to slow down long enough to hear me on my medical stuff, but sure, this sounds like a real thing.... enough with the victim blaming already.
@@momosauker and while that must have been a terrible experience, what's your point? I've been in constant pain for over 20 years... bad experiences don't make you smarter, they just happen.
@@markborkowski965 most people don’t get this level of care in America. I had 3 recommendations from doctors for chronic pain programs like this. I was turned down before I ever even got on the phone with the receptionist.
Living with chronic pain all my life as a young person has been difficult. I try not to let the fact I'm sick all the time determine my worth, but when your constantly in pain, constantly uncomfortable, often the only thing you feel like you can dwell on IS that pain. I have an illness called fibromyalgia, and I deal with managing the pain every single day. It makes me depressed sometimes. I can't really do much about it. Even though I have a wonderful mom that takes care of me, loves me, and is there for emotional support, I still feel extremely depressed. Man humans are very good at focusing on negatives..
@@EDD519 That's pretty expensive for daily use (like, compared to cannabis) unless you have a cheap source, but I think it's a pretty good suggestion to try. It's too bad it can't be prescribed and covered by insurance.
He has no understanding of chronic pain! Obv has never suffered if he thinks it's mond over matter. Giving eg of someone who got better went to work married had kids. I am a qualified lawyer and can't work due to pain in every joint. Drugs don't work so just suffer daily. Talk is unrealistic
Chronic pain is real, and there’s a good chance you can’t overcome it. The best advice I’ve ever received is to acknowledge it wholly. Don’t try to ignore it, acknowledge it. Being in chronic pain has many unique perspectives that profoundly affect mentality. You truly can’t just move on. Trust me, if it’s possible biologically, we would have. You have to acknowledge and shape your life around it. Finding a community has been the most helpful. Having someone be in the pain with me is the best. I recommend finding community.
@@frankieboyseje I’m so sorry I don’t! I found my community through hospital stays. I will keep you posted if I hear of anything. Good luck with everything
I don't think that chronic pain contributes to the opioid epidemic nearly as much as doctors over prescribing them for acute injuries and post-op. This guy is so out of touch it hurts.
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i have a shattered L3 and i've slowly lost my ability to walk so telling me my anguish and the torture I go through is simply a choice is insulting on the highest level, I dare you to try to walk ( or crawl rather ) a mile in my body l0l
Been struggling with chronic pelvic numbness and pain it’s taught me that life isn’t about you it’s about how adapt to whatever situation your put in. Hang in there everyone let’s keep our minds at ease.
I get so tired of know it alls blaming hurt or injured people for the pain, anguish and oftentimes disability, they suffer due to accidents, illnesses or the hateful, selfish, vicious behavior or actions of others. We simply endure as best we can the drastic changes in our lives over which we have no control. We live the best we can with what we have, trusting God to help us to be productive with unfailing hope. More often than not, we say we are good just to spare ourselves the self righteous, all knowing, perfection of those who couldn't care less about how we're doing or feeling. Most of us NEVER called ourselves "victims", we were labeled as such. Do we have days where we feel as though we can't make it? Of course. Yet, we continue to ride, go forth and greet each day of God's New Mercy with hope and confidence.
Sorry, but her case sounds like a stroll on the park compare to mine and others. This is a bs and condescending opinion that literally doesn't look at the worst outlier situations
How do you do it, if without meds, you can't walk, brush your hair, and worse of it , be treated like nothing. I have pain 24 , I keep falling because of pain. Get hurt, it happens on daily basis. I am an artist. If I could sit, and move my arm, I could at least make some money.
Amazing quote by Epictetus: "during my illness, my conversations were not about my physical state; I did not waste my visitors time with things of that sort, but went on discussing philosophy, and concentrated on one point in particular: how the mind can participate in the sensations of the body and yet maintain its serenity, and focus on its own well-being. Nor did I let my doctors strut about like grandees. I went on living my life the way it should be lived."
What do you think happens in a country like the US where you have to pay thousands of dollars for any type of care if you can afford it at all. I had gallbladder surgery which was supposed to be in and out and ended up with a postoperative bleed with 4 transfusions and another surgery to stop and drain the bleeding. Then you get the bill for nearly $9,000 dollars out of pocket. People in the US don’t often get any help or care and die every day from being denied the help you need.
The white man has to make money somehow. And his daughters have to live extremely high qualities of life, the highest on the earth to be quite frank Somebody's got to pay for it
No, what he's saying makes sense. Just cause you haven't found the drive to fight doesn't mean he's wrong. I've had 10 surgeries that failed. I am deformed and broken until I die. When top surgeons told me I am no longer able to be saved, I accepted the truth, understood pain will be here forever, and am taking control over my life. Try finding something to fight for.
Of pain you could wish only for one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes
The def of hero according to the dictionary : a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. A lot of people who deal with chronic pain match these criteria. Read a book, talk to a friend, try better next time
if you dont know or experience chronic pain, dont talk about your patients this way. i cant believe his patients like him bc the way he talks about the mental aspect is so full of doubt and "pull yourself up by your boot straps" mentality. worst way to approach patients who are HOPELESS because of their pain. why not try to inspire people instead of talking down to those who are struggling? you are blaming your patients for being understandably depressed. what is wrong with you?? are you trying to advertise medically assisted suicide?
I’m so sorry, Jir Ficco, although I’m not a dad, I go through chronic discomfort and it’s the worst. Worse than any emotional or existential crisis I’ve been through. I am suicidal daily, and nothing satisfies me like it used to before. Stay strong. Your kids need you. I’m sorry you have to go through this you have all my empathy!
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This video is a two sided story...yes we do have control of some parts of our health depending on our effort and the quality of health care.. some people try so hard to heal but can't heal aka people on wheelchair..some people do recover..you can have a great positive attitude but are still sick.. there is no absolute solution..some situations are hopeless and some are not... attitude towards your self matter...but who can blame an angry sick person who suffers from chronic pain... depending on people for survival as a sick person leaves you vulnerable to mental or physical abuse especially from your own community who has the same issues not even mentioning the so called normals who don't get you.. everyone's stories are different.. depending on the pain you can still volunteer or help others or like Some people become home bound with chronic pain...
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Doctor, Until you've lived with chronic pain then you have no idea how hard it is to live daily. I'm actively taking action but it is the most difficult thing I've dealt with and I've been shot 5 times. I have daily suicidal thoughts that come out of nowhere. I take medication, therapy, etc and they just come. What you're talking about is unrealistic. Half the time I can't get proper health care and even when I do it's very temporary relief. Imagine having to deal with daily life problems, etc and your head is pounding non stop or you want to rip your spine from your body.
More gaslighting. Telling us our suffering is in our control is misleading. I’m neither a victim or a catastrophiser. I don’t fit in your categories. And I struggle. I have heard it all from Buddhist principles to “drugs make it worse, try yoga!” But one of the most horrible things for some (I’m not saying it hasn’t helped some people) is CBT and telling us our thinking is “disordered” And we are thinking, and thus feeling, wrong.
look at the person a few people down who said that you see this as simplistic and you can't possibly understand this. very sad you have so many judgements against people with pain in your words and the inflection in your voice. ugh
I ruined my life Being a good natured, yes person. I'm 23 and have had chronic back pain for 2yrs. primary care, neurologist, and physically therapist I've been to only make it worse in their lack of attentiveness and general indifference to my situation, they get paid either way. I tried killing myself taking 10 sleeping pills, drinking a whole bottle of rum and taking a bath. My boyfriend came home and found me thrashing around in the bathtub. I still want to die and did even before the physical pain. I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
do not listen to this video, he clearly does not experience chronic pain. he is blaming his patients for being (understandably) hopeless about their disability. you are valued. you are important and you deserve to take up space on this earth just as anyone else
I think many resilient people will go through this "doctor shopping" phase he speaks of. It's kind of a derogatory term but people who are natural problem solvers will hunt for answers. It's normal.
When no one behaves as if they want to help me like im a burden & dont want to help has made me worse and hopeless i struggle with self love so how can i expect people to love me
I'm so sorry to hear that Renee. I can almost guarantee that the people around you care more than you think. I'm sure you're doing a lot to not be a burden and you should worry less and focus on healing ❤
Renee please find someone near you who practices reiki and timeline therapy. Be open to it. It helps understand why you feel the way you do. It will help with self love and you deserve to live happy within yourself. Sending you love and light and a massive hug from Yarra Valley Melbourne Australia 🌏 🤗💜
Not all winters are equal and, from a practical perspective, some winters do indeed last forever. A winter in southern Mexico is warmer than spring or summer in Antarctica. A person can't wait out an ice age.
That's one of those pleasant quotes that helps no one like "Hope springs eternal from the human heart" but I know you are trying to help. God Bless you.
He spoke of victim mentality and it is interesting how many are here in the comments. For some, it is a mild comfort to them to believe that nothing can be done, no one understands and that their situation is unique or the exception. This is what makes psychology so difficult, people become dependent and identified with their ailment to the point that they unknowingly fight to defend it.
The same way you think it is easy or recurrent that people fall into this “victim mindset” you have to acknowledge that is also very easy and recurrent that people without severe disability’s and/or chronic pain dismiss people with those disability’s because they themselves cannot understand the others persons point of view, sometimes it is insulting to them that something outside of the other persons control could make a person unable to achieve their goals because it also means that their own success could of been out of their control. They rather think that everything is earned and a result of your own skill/work because that aligns with a mentality that makes their accomplishments something to be proud about, thats their ego working. You have exercise empathy to understand both points of view, and empathy is also something we have no control over if we have it or not. Life is unfair, people are different, we have to understand this first because “victim mindset” is just as real as “victim blaming” and this mindset of “everything is earned” which is hurtful because it is just not true.
@@HawksVR it is true that people belittle others based on attribution biases: not paying credence to all 4 attributions. It is a frustrating and common occurrence that is seen in people with a "doer" complex. However, what matters is that the person suffering can get to a point where they are no longer suffering. But that is not what is happening here. This is just a Ted talk and one that is relatively accurate and helpful, and yet people are here painting anyone with an answer for how to move upwards as one of those assholes with attribution biases. As if one cannot have a right, or helpful solution if they don't know the exact feeling they feel. You are right to feel alone, misunderstood, or judged. It may be true in some cases, but to always take a me vs them approach is holding yourself hostage and refusing to let yourself get better until some external demands are met. I agree, assholes are out there and in number, but by running away from a beneficial solution because it came from an assholes lips is litterally giving them control over your inner state. When you do that, there is no hope of bringing an end to suffering.
I am literally at my wit's end with all over chronic pain im 32 single mother work full time, i am just exhausted from it.. I am tired of taking painkillers I am sick of cortisone injections sick of physio sick of exercises, I am fed up, I just keeps it all insidetand tonight i just sat down and cried, trying to find some answers .. I am so close to giving up
Don’t give up! See other doctors, get second opinions, research other modalities. Make it your mission to get better, even a little bit everyday. But don’t ever give in.
Chronic pain kills your excitement for anything, when in constant pain and you want trying learn something, you can’t. It has over 15 years and the only reason I’m still here is my lovely daughter.
I'm from India, I'm 26, preparing for Civil services Exam. Got Slipped Disc coz of Long sitting and bad Posture... Its been more than 10 months now, i have consulted to many doctors physiotherapist, but not getting any good result... And pain is getting chronic day by day.. please anyone help me out.. what should i do :-(( this pain haunts me alot, i couldn't go anywhere, couldn't sit without back support :-(
Same situation brother I'm also from India and I'm suffering from chronic neck pain and it's really haunting.. My life is ruining bcoz of this pain, all the hopes and dreams are slowly disappearing..
Chronic illness teaches you that you literally had everything you ever needed when you were born as a healthy baby or at least a "fresh" human. But since humans do crazy things like dangerous activities, driving fast, sports, taking risks, doing movie stunts, eating inorganic food over and over again, eating unclean foods over and over again, we get injured or ill and then get reminded "ahaaaaa I had gold but didn't realize it" to me that is the biggest lesson here. There's times where I get 30 minutes of sleep at night, then go to the supermarket in the morning with bloodshot red eyes and extreme body pain only to look at a healthy kid running around or a healthy couple kissing and holdings hands and I think "wow it must be good" aside from money or any monetary goal, the real money is having your health in my opinion. If I could do it over again I would not live in a big city and prefer to live in a quiet village in Africa where there is fresh air, barefoot walking, garden eating, and absolutely no chance of spontaneous illness because the pressure of making physical money is very low.
Um no. Many are born with genetic disorders and illnesses snd it had nothing to do with “doing crazy things.” It was completely out of their control. But I agree people need to be aware and grateful of what good they do have.
It sucks living with joint hypermobility syndrome, fibromyalgia, ulcerative interstitial cystitis and polyarthralgia. Chronic pain is unfortunately with me every second of my life.
Thank you Trung. As someone going through chronic pain right now, at the same time as the breakup of my closest long term relationship, this really struck home. I was becoming desperate and hopeless. I cried a little. Thank you for reminding me to focus back on what i can do now
To anyone who sees this and suffers from chronic pain: do you have any tips that help you cope with it? Or things you tried that didn’t help or made things worse?
acceptance of the situation and therefore the ability to focus on other things helped me a lot. your pain wont go away, cause your body is like it is. i too suffer from chronic pain. i m okay with it, even though there are times where i really cant ignore it cause it hurts so freakin bad everywhere in my whole body. but it doesnt change if i concentrate on it. i will just feel worse. do whatever you like. just dont allow your pain to highjack your life. pain is real, but surrender is choice. (:
@@alexg8038 that's it. im 18 now, it's been 6 years since i got Rheumatoid arthritis, i can say the two most valuable lessons i have learnt 1. acceptance of the present 2. understanding that you have choices in every situation you are in. this makes my life so much easier even if i get severe pain.
Counseling and find a doctor that listens and respects you and vice versa. I went decades with awful doctors until I made it a mission to change that. Ditched the VA and spent out of pocket costs I never should have paid for but it has changed my life. I also studied food as medicine and natural resources such as vitamins and super foods. I did experiments of gummy vitamins, liquids, or tinctures to see what worked and what my body responded to. I tried nightshade/caffeine/chocolate/gluten free diets 6 weeks on, 2-4 weeks off, 8 weeks on, 4 weeks off and so forth. This was to really find response rates and not placebo effects. After my surgery 1.5 years ago I lost the little energy I did gain and now I am figuring out a regimen with diy capsules of various powders such as turmeric, diamanté, goat weed, Ashwaganda, and many many more. It will take time. Pain and energy keeps me less active than I would like to admit so I am ordering a yoga trapeze to help stretch and limber without the impact that causes more issues. It’s slow going but it’s not up to anyone else but me to find improvements through trial and error.
I sugger from chronic sciatica in my legs since 2 years now. It startes around the time I graduated from PT school. Its more functional for me. I struggle to sit for prolonged time, eg in theatres, stand in qeues. I have a choice to exercise and feel better or do nothing and face the consequence of pain. Its the choices, every minute i have a choice to be more conscious of how im sitting. Some days I cant get out of bed bcoz of pain. I take a walk on my bad days.
What if your adversity is a condition that can't be fixed? What if after making every optimization in your life possible you still feel miserable because the condition is just that agonizing? I have chronic fatigue and it hasn't yet been confirmed nor denied if it will be life long condition, but I'm extremely worried that it will be. What will I do then? No amount of optimization could fill the void of feeling unfulfilled in life. I used to write, watch series, read books, program, play rhythm games as a top player, go to school, talk with friends... there's big things I want to do, but with this fatigue I can barely even take a shower... Any advice is appreciated
Your message was Soo powerful and True. I live with chronic leg pain & in the beginning of my journey I had a expectation of Doctors and Medications fixing me. Slowly I began being proactive, changing the language & words I use, learning how to live & sleep around my pain. Today My life is great, I have a rescue dog who supports me, I walk daily, have lost 120lbs, have a stronger support system and some new friends. Today I'm happy, grateful a dog Dad and living with chronic pain. Sincerely, David Potter
Suffering is a choice? F@?$ off. Ohhh this made me angry. I don’t choose to feel terrible when I wake up migraines 4 days a week despite getting help almost weekly for the last 5 years. You don’t get a choice when you are overwhelmed with pain.
Just reading the comments and it’s truly heartbreaking to read about the debilitating chronic pain that many people are in 😔 I agree with some comments that this talk seems to be most helpful for those with a lower level of pain - like myself. I’ve suffered with chronic pain in my feet for 4 years. It doesn’t affect me when I’m not walking so I able to live quite fully in many ways, however as an outdoors person and a young mum who has to walk, it has certainly taken it’s toll, mentally. The pain is exhausting and is getting worse. Trying not to worry about it getting even worse is hard, but letting go of what life would be without it is the hardest. I have found this talk really useful because I know when I focus on looking after myself, looking for different interests and focusing on what I can do, it truly really helps me be happier. I realise that this can’t necessarily be the case for others with worse pain.
11:58 "Resilient people are able to let go of their expectations of how things should be and they're open to different possibilities" I've suffered from severe chronic pelvic pain for years. This statement is a slap in the face to people like me. I've been open to any opportunity along my path through pain. I've had a major career change, I've travelled the world, I've done many things most people without pain wouldn't only because I was lucky enough for my lines of work to afford me those opportunities. One opportunity I will NEVER have is to be pain free. I wish I could expect that and knowing that I can't have one seemingly simple thing is NOT a relatable emotional state through a miscarriage. It is a deeply personal longing not beyond but from within ones own mortal vessel. I am left grieving every day for a future I can't have, a past person I wish I still was, and a present filled with smug doctors like this with no practical solutions beyond the success metric in medical literature that aims for a 30% - 50% reduction in pain. Sounds like a lot when you aren't suffering. Would you like 30% less suffering or 100% less suffering?
I've had chronic pelvic pain since 2009 so I understand where you are coming from. I can not even sit down normally to have a meal. For what it's worth, you are not alone. ❤
This guy makes it all seem so simple. I’m not buying it. He speaks from the viewpoint of someone who doesn’t actually have it. He gets to judge others.
This guy is borderline condescending. Just like all those other “professionals” that haven’t got the slightest clue until they experience it themselves.
I suffer from chronic pain; I’ve had IBS since I was born, and I have Sciatica. I have felt tied down my entire life by these two things. I am definitely a catastrophizer! I stay home and don’t go out because “What if I get sick the one time that I go out?” I hate living with this mindset. :(
There's help out the. Therapy such as CBT helps a lot. There's also a youtube channel called Pain Free You that helps a lot with pain caused by stress. He offers a group session for 100 bucks a month and it's once a week. Worth a shot if you haven't tried either. I'm currently doing CBT myself and plan on joining that group I spoke of. I suffer from panic attacks and chronic back pain. Hope you get better.
Check out the YT channel Pain Free You. He even talks about IBS and Sciatica and how fear can keep the pain/symptoms going. Sounds like you have alot of fear by reading your comment... You should definitely check it out. He also share success stories and im quite sure one or more of them are with people who dealt with IBS and became pain/symptom free with his approach. He himself had backpain and sciatica for 13 years and is now pain free
Check out the YT channel Pain Free You. He even talks about IBS and Sciatica and how fear can keep the pain/symptoms going. Sounds like you have alot of fear by reading your comment... You should definitely check it out. He also share success stories and im quite sure one or more of them are with people who dealt with IBS and became pain/symptom free with his approach. He himself had backpain and sciatica for 13 years and is now pain free
I absolutely agree, a multi disciplinary team is the key to making a plan that includes living that evolves with time and includes the supports needed to live with dignity and see a future.
This video assumes too much that the solution is in the individual and very little a out affordable access. blame here and blame there. some good points followed a lot of cringe
