What Dating an Addict is Like 

Hi everyone! Definitely definitely want y'alls thoughts and words on this one.

It’s nice at first, when you’re the thing they’re addicted to. It’s when other addictions take precedent that the romance wears off.

Damn nice shoulders and important words ! 😏❤️ I must say this resonates to a certain extent with what it’s been like dating a person who struggles with depression, especially that first idea of « can’t live without you » being an unhealthy sentiment that needs to be addressed... I think it’s very hard not to romanticize dependency given the general message around love in our society - it tends to almost become a criteria of being in love, like, if you don’t « need » each other in that life and death kind of way, you second guess wether you are truly in love. And yet it’s such a beautiful thing to get to the point where you can say, I don’t need you, I am whole without you, but I choose to share life with you because I want to. I hope we can all get to that point in our relationships sometime soon ! And congrats on staying sober all these years xx

Seeing you with shoulder-length hair and painted fingernails and a super cute top makes me so happy for you!! Thanks for giving me representation (as a nonbinary person) by being you 💕

Addiction is not my or my gf's issue but I needed this. Thank you.

This video was so clear and you are very well spoken !!! Wishing you the best 5 years later, 6 years of sobriety is amazing 🥳🥳🥳

I definitely relate to this but from a different point of view. My mom has chronic severe pain due to an autoimmune disease and I find myself constantly trying to help her and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m living my life for her rather than for myself, which isn’t her fault at all but that’s how it is. I want to get to the point where I’m living my life for me while still supporting her and this video was a great reminder, so thank you.

i wish i had sweeter words to share and i will come back to this video if i find them but today i'm deeply sad and lonely. i don't think i'll ever find the words for how fucking grateful i am for yours though. thank you connor. thank you thank you thank you. you're the most beautiful person i've ever seen and i'm still beating myself up for not finding words flattering enough because beautiful doesn't begin to cover it. thank you

ACorn, I have to say, you look beautiful. 💗

The whole thing about life being boring and how important it is to feel gratitude towards life while recovering is so true, and I know it 'cause it works for depression recovery also. You're so clear and so spot on with your thoughts! Love it, as always. xoxo from Brazil.

i've always been lonely and had mental health problems so when i turned 18 i started to rely on drugs. one night i was unknowingly having a manic episode and i got drunk and suicidal. the next day i opened my bag to find that my friends had stored their drinks there and i gave them back but was left with two cans of beers. i got home and placed those beers on top of my desk, the desk where i journal and create stuff every night. the beers from the night i tried to kill myself stayed there for two years as a reminder not to drink. it didn't work instantly but they served as reminders that when i'm drunk or on drugs i... i sometimes try to kill myself. when i seek substances it's because i'm trying to numb myself and it gives me the courage (or cowardice) to act upon my suicidal ideation. i tried to drink beer a couple of weeks ago and it made me super fucking depressed. i haven't managed to stop smoking, matter of fact i shame smoked today and i'm aware that cigarettes are a way i've found to self harm without leaving visible scars, it's a way to punish my body and to shorten my life and they're so normalized that no one will ask me _why_ i'm smoking. i have forced what i think my loved ones should do on them, when it comes to addiction or otherwise. i still live in fear that my friends who haven't gone sober will die. i still live in fear that my friends will die for various reasons out of my control. i wish i feared my death in the same way.

This top? On you? It looks stunning.

Wish I’d watched this five years ago before my ex.

This is such an important reminder, and something i recently realized and need to improve on. Thank you for reminding us amd informing us about your findings as a person that facilitate the lives of others and ourselves. You contribute a lot to our lives from afar with your videos.

Hey Connor, you are fricking strong, you look awesome! I was away for awhile but now am back. I am so happy to see you looking so good. I agree with every word you say here especially about connecting with another human being as being the greatest gift in life. I am grateful..........love you, man...............Ray

Maybe just being there for him/her and trying to tune in his/her current emotional status is one of the ways we can do about in relationship

I am recovering from depression. When I was in a really bad place in my life I found myself leaning on people who were not stable themselves. I tended to take on every single one of their problems and treat them as if it was my job to fix them. And they would do the same for me. And that’s what we thought a stable relationship was supposed to be. And when we stopped we both would completely fall apart. It’s not healthy. I know now that that’s not how a relationship should work. Ever.

i love your videos! i send you so much love from argentina!! ♥

thank you

Shiiiiiit my heart

Wow!!! That shirt fits you perfectly. That said, it matches your skin-tone exactly. Hon get out to the sun, you need the vitamin D.

Why were we all our best selves in early recovery ?

You look so pretty/handsome ❤️

That hair tho

This video must hit home for Arianna Grande

Omg. I thought I experienced it alllll. This is the most selfish painful situation I've ever been in.

I don't know how I started watching this video but my heart hurts for you listening to your words. If you're willing to hear my thoughts from a complete stranger. I'd like to tell you I believe we all were made by a perfect loving God. I'd like to tell you that you have value and worth beyond anything you can ever do to earn it. That you are fully known and fully loved. And there's nothing you can ever do that would make God love you anymore or any less. You don't have to try so hard

Ah-THANK you. I just let a narcissist throw me in the garbage, and they have that same thing you note. Depending your everything on a person. Your happiness, your satisfaction, your contentment-all of that responsibility DUMPED willfully onto their partner. They're attention addicts. They are not two seperate people coming together-the only person who exists in their relationships is them. Addict behavior.

Wonderful video! Very real, I so appreciate it!💖🙌

Wow I needed this. I just broke up with my crack addict boyfriend. The paranoia is too much. The paranoia always involves me lol down to me being in “kahoots with his past employer in making his job harder” or with his neighbor to Kill Him 😀 always great. He claims he’s going to rehab. I hope he does and he is successful but I was going to tell him let’s get back together and try BUT I can’t help him he needs to fix himself and he is responsible for his own mental health like you said.

Thank you.

Today my boyfriend had a seizure at the park while we were about to eat and he had been explaining he had been having withdraw and it’s the fact in a minor and he is a well that kills me more that I almost lost him today and I don’t know what to do anymore I need guidance and help please anyone with advise please give me some I’m so traumatized with what happened today

Great video thank u 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙

Thank you so much for sharing this video. I think its helped me understand a bit better how to care for someone with addiction.

Just popping in years later, my fav "if youre dating someone who isn't alive., work on that" Idk why but i laughed so hard. This is probably the best video i have watched so far, love it. Such good advise, I got some major feelings for someone in recovery and I enjoyed listening to this and taking it all in! Thanks

Thanks for this video, it hits home. I recently made a friend who is a hard drug addict and homeless. He claims to have failed rehab 10x in 15 years. He did something very beautiful and kind for me (in the space of a few hours of deep conversation) and I wanted to return the favor, maybe do much more. But I feel powerless to help. All I do is drop by and give him clothes. I so wish I could do more.... the pain is so great to watch him wither away. It took me a few years to get over it.

Thank you in this time of need can't stop crying THANK YOU, Henry

My ex replied 6 weeks back and lied about it. I found out last week. It still hurts me...not that he lied but the fact that he relapsed. And I don't understand why I feel that way. Can someone explain why?

whyyyy are youuu so cuuute T_T why

You are a good person 🌲🍄

My boyfriend lied to me tonight and went to do drugs. He feels guilt for me using today. He told me not to lie and he lied. I am crushed.

Hey I have a question maybe someone can help me out, so I really freaking like this girl I work with and even though she is in complete denial I know she uses heroin. Ive been trying to take her out on a date, but its like impossible she never answers my txts, or calls. I dunno if thats just what heroin addicts do, seclude themselves in a room with her cat or if shes just messing around with other guys and find me too nice and a beta type of guy, which im not im very alpha, i wouldnt do any of the things ive done for another girl. I am just trying to support her and help of stay healthy while she is still using, getting her food at work, researching best suppliments for heroin addicts and buying her viatmins and CBD oil, Kratom. Its like no matter what I do she never has time. And im stuck I dunno if she is just playing the game women play on nice guys or if its cuz of her addiction. She wont tell me when i ask her and ive asked many times. That makes me think, either she is messing around with other guys getting fucked up, or she just doesnt want me to be around her high and shes ashamed. I dunno and its really killing me. I dunno if i should just take the red pill and man up or i dunno. Pls someone give me your opinion.

Six years? I doubt it. Also u look like a fucking weirdo 🤮

My girlfriend relapsed yesterday.. I can't even wrap my head around it. Idk what to do. I'm lost.

I relate to so much that you said and I’m really grateful that you shared so honestly and specifically. I feel a lot less alone and a lot more sane after viewing this.

I love him so much, he is so sweet, like a puppy And he's addicted to drugs. That's where all his money is going. I wanted to start a life with him and move in together, but I cant. I just know it will bring me down too. And I dont trust him at all. :( but.. leaving him doesnt feel right either 💔

Thank you so so so much. Your video has given me so much hope for the relationship I’m in.

At this point I would take a dead bf. The older the better I don’t need any rotting flesh. They make great listeners, that’s for sure.

What if he dismisses trying to talk about it. And doesnt wanna hear about. My boyfriend lied about his use of cocaine after being together for 3 years. He told me hed been using since 19 years old. He says hes been only using one every other month. I asked him to drop it. And said that hed "try". Which tells me theres a problem. And is still lying about it after telling me how much he used it. And I don't think hes going to get help either, after admitting. Cause he thinks hes not addicted.

Thank you for this 🌸I am grateful

Thank you. My soul needed this.

"If this person was gone? Would I be able to carry on?" I thought that about my girlfriend and I always thought like...probably not, I've been in several somewhat codependent friendships that always overlapped and then me and my girlfriend broke up in Feb of this year and I was at uni at the time. And I proved myself right. I didn't move from my bed for months. Somehow I managed to hand in my assisigments through crying breaks, and I did alright but I felt....hollow? Like I had completely lost myself without her and now we're back together and I feel...the same way? Idk if I could survive if we broke up forever which is worrying because I'm only 21 so...oOp

I fucking needed this....

thx u

Hey there Connor. I went to your channel after watching an older collaboration you did, and I just wanted to thank you for your experiences. I've never done drugs, but I continue to deal with the effects of self harm addiction. I know that my experience is different, and perhaps brighter, than what you put up with, but videos like yours are some of the only places I can hope to find a bit of community with others who have been Addicted. It is intensely lonely- sometimes i find myself wanting to make a Relatable Joke but I know that those jokes aren't okay. I don't know, I think I just needed this today. Thank you, for everything you do

Thanks for this.

Been watching you for a couple of years now. Gotta say that it's been so weird seeing you transform. In fact, it is the strangest, quazi-self realization that I've ever seen, and I would feel so awkward around you. From a great looking guy, to some weird 2009, sleeveless turtleneck wearing, girl(?) that still has a jawline that could cut diamonds. It is truly bizarre. But as they say, grab a seat, grab your popcorn.

this video has such an important message, and the curious things is that this also works the same way for mental illness and people recovering from them... these reminders you do to yourself are seriously something I, as someone who is finding his way with mental illness, really need to remind myself as well. thank you so much, I really admire the courage it must have took to make this video. I'm sure I'm not the only one whom you've touched

Hi, you're amazing. have a good one! xx

you have a weird perma-victim thing going on. You are fucked up. Stop being so selfish and acting like you have so much to teach others. youre not unique and your struggles dont matter. stop being so narcissistic and maybe things will get better for you

hello i love you!!!

As someone who struggles with an eating disorder, which is similar to addiction in so many ways, this really hit home. Thank you

I’ve never had to deal with addiction or any friends or loved ones with the issues. But lots of what you said apply to my life in other ways. I also tend to over do my care /My self insertions into the lives of those I love who are hurting. And I’m learning to take care of me first before I do. So that I’m not being self serving while trying to give care.

Nice hair. Stay strong. Life is wonderful. I have 0 friend, but I can't be happier to get rid of people I don't like. I don't feel lonely at all. I just need youtube. Being lonely has nothing to do with the number of people around you. But it has something to do if you feel significant to the other person. If you have a friend(s) or a lover, but s/he make you feel insignificant or act like you don't matter to them, then you will feel lonely. But if you feel significant, means the person thinks about you (either in a good way or a bad way, lol), then doesn't matter if you are alone, you feel lonely no more. You must be willing to let go of things that don't serve you. And... Don't lose your mojo. ;)

Over the course of psychotherapy/mental health treatment, have you ever been prescribed psychopharmaceutical medicine - and if so, was it hard for you to accept as a recovering substance addict? If you're comfortable sharing, of course. I don't mean to intrude. It's just that I've gone to absurd lengths to avoid and resist medication doctors wanted to give me and I just wonder if other people faced the same struggle.

Man you have bony shoulders. No opinion on that I just noticed that now.

I love you and you are so gorgeous!

Love your videos! And you look so cute! Your rocking that top!

I’m in dialectical behavior therapy/intensive outpatient treatment for anxiety and depression after a major spiral and this video means so much to me. Recovery is so hard and nonlinear I am trying so hard to remember that, and that it’s my job and my therapist’s job to help me manage and coach me through my intense emotions. Thank you so much for this video. It really means the world to me. 🖤✨

My gift to you: I listened. Your gift to me: Your honest wisdom. Deeply thankful that you walk this planet during a time I'm on it.

I remember watching you a LONG time ago and you look so different now! Not a bad thing at all. I hope you feel comfortable with your appearance because you’re rocking your look. I hope you’re flourishing too 💕.

I loved this I feel like I never the right words after i watch your videos but I feel this as someone who always seems to be a bit codependent in relationships. I recently broke up (I mean a couple months ago) with someone bc of it, bc we both realized we needed to work on ourselves a bit and be responsible for our own mental health

I really enjoy your videos. They make me think and I can relate to a lot of the topics. I’ve seen you grow as a person and I support you. Keep creating what makes you happy💕