What does it mean to go "no contact"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships) 

They stab you and pretend they are the ones bleeding

That moment when you realise you no longer care about them is SO good.

When you go no contact, you might experience similar feelings of grief to that of a lost family member. Don't worry, it will pass, it does take some time but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I get panic attacks because of the long time spent dealing with narcissists,, I open these videos & listen to sooth these attacks. You literally save lives Dr. Ramani.

Going no contact to a toxic person is absolutely liberating.

Do not feel guilty for ghosting someone that emotionally abuse you. I am finally free and I am happy.

I went no contact with my daughter after Christmas 2022. Eight months of no verbal abuse by her has been healing. I’m spending a lot of time by myself figuring out who I am. I am 74 and have been a victim of narcissist, my whole life. This is my first taste of freedom.❤

I'm so sick of people that judge me for not talking with my parents. They have no clue about what I lived in my childhood and adolescence

You don't even realize how much of your emotions were being activated until you've put the relationship behind you. The peace is palpable.

It was sad at first, but now I'm free.

After 52 years of marriage, I have reached “indifference” toward my husband, and I now feel freedom and have peace. Thank you, Dr. Ramai, for helping me realize that it wasn’t my fault! I’m now 72 and I could write a book about the abuse that he has inflected upon my children and me! But NO MORE!!!!!! It’s OVER!!!!!!!!

Going 'no contact' is the best decision I ever made for my own well-being...it is life changing!!

Anger, after realizing that it took you soooo fricken' long to wake up.

I left almost 2 months ago and it gets easier everyday, the first few weeks I never imagined I could ever be as good as I feel today!! Stay strong, better things are on the way ❤

cutting off my narc has been simply life changing. But mine has not attempted to make contact. Because that in their mind would shift the power to me. That would be grovelling and admitting mistakes they feel they never made. I'm I'm so glad that's how it's gone! Guys if you have a narc in your life that is making that life constantly miserable. Go non contact. It's empowering and peaceful all at the same time

You can miss someone without wanting them back. Don't give in to contacting. You will be humiliated.

Have stayed NO CONTACT 11 months now!! Soooo happy and healthy now. I can’t believe I got myself back! I thought I had lost my soul completely. So thankful 🙏 I have 0 feelings about that man. Complete Indifference 🤗

Once I realized what was going on, I silently gave them one more Sunday dinner to observe and make mental notes, just to be sure I was doing the right thing. After that day, going no contact was one of the easiest and best decisions of my life. I held firm for a few years, then relapsed and gave them a second chance. Unsurprisingly, nothing had changed, so I went back to no contact and now I'm doing better than ever in many ways.

No contact with my sibling for 10 years. It is a wonderful feeling. No more walking on eggshells. I am enjoying life to the fullest.

The 20 people who disliked this are narcissists.

Dealing with a narcissist is like having a monster underneath your bed, that only you can see...Which is why this series is so important. No one can truly understand just how damaging and cruel a narcissist can be; until they themselves comes face to face with one. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani. Your videos provide the tools needed to fight back against the invisible monster AKA: The Narcissist.

I've gone 'no contact' with 2 different relatives, both narcissistic. What a joy. Also went 'no contact' with two different alleged friends who were using me. In both instances, once I figured out what was going on, 'no contact' was easy.

I must say my shaky moments are when I'm outraged and I want to break no contact just to give them a piece of my mind. Fortunately good sense does kick in, I know it would be playing right into their hands.

Overcoming the guilt of no contact and cutting the narcissist out is a big job.

It Is just unbelievable how strong this pull you feel towards a toxic person. It is as if you are addicted to this person, even though you don’t actually want to be around him/her.

I don't get tired watching your videos for hours and again and again. Thank you Dr. RAMANI.

No Contact really does work. It's important though to not use it as a strategy to get their attention but more to get attention back to yourself and healing overall. I'm not absolutely at the 100% indifference but I feel it coming👍🏽

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like having a heavy cigarette addiction. It just wastes time money and energy and most importantly ruins your health. It can takes years off your life. There are no benefits. The best thing I ever did was stop smoking years ago and go no contact with my narcissist. From now on I’m taking really good care of my physical and mental health. There is no room in my life for unhealthy toxic addictions.

I was told I was holding resentment because I went no contact with my ex and my sister has befriended him So I cut her off too

No contact is an absolute must to start the healing process. It’s tough at first but the longer you do it the better you feel. I am 14 years on no contact and counting. He called a few weeks ago and I simply ignored him, 14 years later! 😂🙄

Usually, by the time you learn the person is a "covert narcissist", you have already 'dealt' with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a 'covert narcissist' just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW,what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don't that sound easy. The better question is how do you STOP 'dealing with' a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The 'best way' to 'deal with a covert narcissist' is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them. If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No "hi, how are you doing", no "hi, I wish I had time to talk to you", no "hi, it's nice to see you", just "hi, hope you're doing well, I've got to run" or just "hi" and keep walking. If at all possible avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a 'flying monkey' can observe you or listen to you. 'Flying monkeys' are the narcissist's 'possessions'. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist 'owns' is considered the same as 'dealing with' or interacting with the narcissist. The more you 'deal with' a covert narcissist, the more you will have to 'deal with'. Do not 'run' from a covert narcissist unless you can 'run' totally away from them. When you 'run' from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you 'run'. Once you 'learn' the person is a 'covert narcissist', you have to 'learn' to either 'covertly' avoid the hell out of them or 'overtly' have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to 'deal with' them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever "dealt with" one and they'll tell you it's one of hardest things they've ever 'dealt with'. Additionally, Metaspyhub@gmail. com is a company that is ideal if you need to be able to confront a cheating spouse because they have some of the most advanced features in the industry.

No contact = Freedom from toxic drama! I wish I had done it 30 years ago! ✌❤😊🙏

Better book mark this and watch it in those hardest times

All these mental issues I had developed during our relationship just melted away once I stopped communication. Can't go no contact because we have kids, but the peace I have is so relieving I actually feel lighter.

I’m moving and going no contact with a borderline narcissist.. I absolutely can’t wait. I’ve learned so much. Now it’s time for health and peace.

Started No contact, and he hasn't even checked in to see if i died or was laid up in a hospital somewhere. Makes it easier to just keep walking i guess.

I have had to do this to prevent personal abuse. I have a saying. Same Train, Same Track, Don't Get On and Don't Look Back.

I recently unblocked out of a fear of my narcissist contacting me via extreme measures like popping up at my house or work. I’m blocking again and am SO grateful for these series. I’m in tears cus I could never articulate the madness. I’m safe 🙏🏾💕

I've been no contact with my ex for about 2 years now, and I've lived life so well since then that the thought of me even trying to glance at their social media makes sick to my stomach! The only reason I watch these videos occasionally is to remind myself what to do and what not to do if I ever come across a narcissistic person again 🙏🏾💯

I left my abusive narcissist 20 years ago today! I saw him for the first time again last summer. He looked like shit, and I can't even imagine now what I ever saw in that pathetic creep. Congratulations to me!

"Narcissistic relationships don't really change. There's nothing that you can do or you can say to make the relationship less invalidating, to make it more respectful, and to make it more empathic. There just isn't. So as a result, every time you have contact with these folks, you end up in the same place, and it feels awful." -Dr. Ramani-

I went no contact from my narcissistic father 6 years ago. Back then I didn't even have the language for what he was, I just knew that I couldn't endure his abuse for one moment more. It was one of the best decisions I've made and I've been healing ever since. I have dealt with the backlash and judgments from a few enabling family members, but I don't care anymore. If they refuse to see the truth of the situation that's on them. I will not be gaslighted anymore! Best of luck to anyone who is embarking on a healing journey from narcissistic abuse. If you are safely able to go no contact, I highly recommend it. 🙏🏼

I'm going nc with my parents now..it's been a month, and I am feeling the exact feelings you mentioned. If I did it a year ago, I might went back to them. But this time feels different. I can finally focus into myself without feeling too much guilt. At times I even forget about them and my life is so happy. Still fighting with the guilt and the voice in my head, but your video convinced me that it will be all gone soon:)

I've learnt missing someone doesn't mean you should reconcile. There are going to be days that your heart hurts but do not break the "no contact" contract you made with yourself to retain your sanity.

It will be so funny in a few weeks when he realizes I am not coming back and freaks out. I am NEVER talking to or entertaining him or letting him control me anymore.

I'm on month 4 of no contact and 6 months since I walked away from the relationship. Struggled emotionally for such a long time with this person and I'm so thankful for the events that lead me to FINALLY walk away and be FREEEEEEEEEE!

I’ve done the no contact before. It’s like a detox from drugs. The beginning can be both physically and emotionally well. Eat healthy foods. Find healthy forms of distraction from any thoughts of the person you are in NC from. Find any type of support you can get during the detox faze.

No contact helps stop the abuse. Allows you to fill the void with loving yourself, the love you've deprived yourself of while being with the narcissist. The exercise of no contact builds the strength that you need to move on.

Stopped talking, contacting, and seeing them. It got worse, they fought it, then suddenly it got really good. It's fantastic now.

I wrote a message to my narcissistic mother telling her I needed a break from our talks. This was before I knew she was a narcissist. Our conversations had gotten so aggressive, where she acted self righteous about everything, venting extreme opinions, but especially a subject I'm passionate about (not that she knew that). I was no contact for over 2 weeks and it was very interesting to see how I felt. In the beginning I was so stressed, heartbroken how she must feel and so on. I noticed I was only thinking about how she would take it. I was used to her being put first. After a week or so I was terrified of calling her again, so scared of what mood she would be in. Then I started thinking about myself and boy oh boy was I furious! It's been about 4 months now since I called her back and she's been very stand offish. It feels like the silent treatment, longer than ever. Going from calling me almost every day she now barely calls herself but waits until I do after 1-1.5 weeks. I was so extremely sad realizing how important I am to her (or more accurately how UNimportant I am to her). One boundary and that was it. I've been trying to grieve as best I can. Some days are really hard and I catch myself trying to get her to call me by for example sending her a message which made her call in the past (now she just replies but doesn't call vack). I've lost my mother and it feels like I did that to us. At the same time I'm furious that that's what I'm feeling because of how she manipulated me growing up. it's so complicated and I'm exhausted.

I often say that " You can't see it, when you are in it". The clarity that you get when you have the STILLNESS AND PEACE to put all the shattered pieces, together in your mind, is PRICELESS. I LOVE THE SOUND OF " NO CONTACT".

Best thing I ever did was go no contact, I was constantly trying to get him to understand, hoping he'd be nicer, wishing he'd change! No!!! every contact was his trying to cause me pain, hurt, distress, stress...I closed up all point of contacts and I could not be happier he was an albatross around my neck! To not care, hope ,wish and remember him has truly been a gift! Letting go has led to untold joy!!

I've been no contact for approximately 6 months and not one argument or drama session with anyone ! 100 % disconnection saved my sanity. Ty Dr R and community.

I got to the " I don't care anymore" part in early March 2023 after 60 years of being the scapegoat. I just don't care anymore! It feels great! I thoroughly recommend🙂 it!

You are saving my life on a daily basis

I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got away. Going no contact was the only way I could see the truth. I look back, and I’m still amazed at how blind I was.

Going "no contact" with my mother and my sisters meant that I would have solitary holidays. OTOH, there's no shouting, insulting, cruel criticism or chores to do for them. Silence can be a blessing.

My stepmother is a covert narcissist. As long as everyone allows her to be the hero, she is lovely. But the second I don't want her interference or the minute she is called out on her bad behavior, she becomes a different, mean, nasty, passive aggressive person. She loves to make tiny hints that I am lying or being dramatic. She like pretending to misunderstand so she can say something incredibly insensitive.

Great video. Have cut off a Narcissistic parent and a few friends that were toxic out of my life and im much better for it

i love the part where you said just don't care even if they got hit by the bus. as cruel as it sounds, it works. 100% no contact is the only thing that works.

I’ve been no contact with my family for 5 years now. Fucking sweet.

When the covert narcissist is your (only) adult child, it’s absolutely heartbreaking to go no contact. Dr Ramani has the best advice from all the RU-vid channels, thank you!

I went no contact with both of my parents thirty years ago this coming Christmas. By then it was pretty clear that this was my only choice. I had to go to the extent of legally changing my name and refusing any attempts at further communications. I can personally confirm every word you have said here. I am pleased at your work in making these issues clear and l thank you.

It's such a joy to feel that you have complete authority over your own life. When you realize that you can trust your own reality and are not confused anymore.

Whenever I want to contact again with my narcissistic ex-partner, I watch this video and remind myself the importance of no-contact. You've survived me Dr Ramani

I'm at the point of no longer caring. Amazing feeling after 37 years of narcissistic abuse

There is no other way but no contact. In extreme narcissism they invent things to keep control. No contact is like a shot in the head and I think there maybe times they realise that they are beyond belief but they are consume with the rage and that is what they blame you for. Its not always easy, they drain emotions and sometimes that can be mind numbing to give thought to where ever a person should be. Thanks for the video, really does become transparent ❤

It's funny how they want you to reach out to them but yet they don't reach out to you.

Perfect, that lightness and freedom from the heaviness and suffocation of walking on eggshells, subconsciously always being on edge and hiding your true self. That lightness is priceless!

6 years of no-contact and counting with my narcissistic sister. It has been an incredible relief for my wife (the main target of her abuse) and myself. It also required going minimum contact with my parents (mom is also narcissist, although lower grade, which is why they feed off each other; dad is a conflict-avoidant enabler), but it has been an incredible weight. I find I go months at a time without even having a single thought about her. I wish I felt the same relief about my parents, but that is a tougher relationship to completely release.

This talk helps reinforce what I am doing - no contact with two narcissistic sibblings. There is brilliance found in the message and also what feels like so many authentic responses from others who know. I am being tested right now after 5 years of no contact, my sister got a message to me. Although I was triggered, it didn't last long. Yay. I am better. This is my wish for all of you.

My sister is the best she believed me and made me stong not to talk to them

When I went no contact with my narcissistic mother it was the best decision I have ever made and I have absolutely no regrets!

I had to figure all of this out on my own, but I am glad to finally find some validation here.

Dr. Ramani, you have single handedly helped me to get off of a path that would have lead to suicide to actually enjoy life again. I cannot stress how thankful i am for your videos! Youre doing gods work by helping us all going through such though times. I much apreciate you and the effort you put into those videos. Thank you!

It is such a mix of feelings because I'm a caring person. I have to be indifferent. Six months no contact now

I feel much better without my whole family. I am no longer the scapegoat, being put down, or disrespected. It has been freedom for me.

Indifference is where I'm striving... I think it's most important.

I have been no contact for a week now and I have been so peaceful, I have actually started to feel again. I love this feeling so much, it really helps me to stay determined to stay no contact. The abuse was HORRIBLE.

The feeling of peace after going NC is amazing.

I slipped up after 2 years. Big mistake. Went back to no contact but now I know it has to be forever.

Went no contact yesterday. Started it and it felt soo good.

I went as no contact as I could with my alcoholic father years ago (I only spoke to him at family gatherings or if I needed paperwork from him as I was transitioning from moving out of my childhood home to being on my own), and the day I realized I no longer cared what he did or what's happening in his life was so _liberating._ My family kept insisting for years that forgiveness was the key to moving on from my childhood trauma and having a relationship with him, and how wrong they were. I gave myself the space apart that I needed, went to therapy, and finally managed to make it to the other side with him. Some days I still don't trust or can't believe I do finally have that inner peace when it comes to his past issues, but the days I realize I'm happy and have created a healthier and lovelier life for myself is something I would not trade.

Husband has done it all but I am ahead of his game. All my friends are.praying for me and thank You Jesus for not abandoning me

almost 10 years of no contact with my dad and life is goooooood

It was so terrible going no contact, not because of the “longing-for-them-feeling” but rather because of them spreading so many lies about me. He started to say terrible things about me that weren’t true and everyone was feeling betrayed by me even though I didn’t do anything. It was really hard, I don’t wish this to anyone. He even faked chats, dialogues etc. Not even my parents believed me and this hurt so much, oh god. I felt regret going no contact bc I thought this wouldn’t have happened if I just didn’t break the contact. I still have anxiety meeting them by coincidence, I am scared what they would do to me. I wish Dr. Ramani was living next door 💕 but thank you for your help. It was really helpful❤️❤️

I went no contact with my Cluster-B "mother" and siblings 20 years ago and moved about 1,500 miles away. Haven't looked back!

No contact is absolutely THE BEST and indeed, when you see them after a long while you can literally feel that they have zero power over you. I know it since I’ve experienced it. The feeling is unbelievable. I was with this guy for 3 years. No contact was possible when I moved to another continent (I was in my twenties and mentally too weak to end it otherwise), and it saved me. He would send me looooong love letters about how much he misses me, how much he realized that I was the best woman for him blah blah blah... When I met him accidentally during one of my visits in home country, he would still try to convince how good and happy we would be as a couple 🙄 I felt nothing, absolutely nothing towards him by then. No love, no hate .. simply nothing and it felt very good. I know, we not always can physically move far away from toxic people, but my point is that no contact really works best.

Wish going no contact wasn’t so depressing.. constantly thinking, obsessing , dreaming.. there’s no peace of mind. There’s no enjoyment during the process… keep watching all these videos … checking their social media… it’s really not that liberating. I wish it was . BUT I will say this… prayer prayer prayer prayer and PRAYER will help you get through it …. God will give you the strength IF you ask for it …. As TIME goes on the heart does HEAL… the MIND BODY AND SOUL WANTS what it is used too.. it’s time to feed your spirit and it’s BETTER!

your videos are really helping me because it’s so hard to step away completely from these toxic relationships…

no contact makes me feel relieved and a sense of peace. enough of toxic and evil people.

Imagine going no contact with your own, disabled, elderly, immigrant, outcast, impoverished, tragic parents. That is what I am having to endure. God help me.

This was much needed. I got sucked back in AFTER blocking someone on 8 different phone numbers. I didn’t want to be in contact but what I wanted had no relevance. It wore me down after a while and I consider myself to be a strong minded and quite stubborn person. The manipulation is strong.

Going no contact is such a beautiful thing. I'm empowered to be my own person and to live in peace ✌ 30year survivor.

I used to spend 45 minutes in the greeting card aisle, looking for the mother's day card for my narc mom that didn't say "You're the greatest mother on earth, I love you so much" or some other nonsense that I couldn't give her without lying. There aren't many cards that say "I'm giving you this mother's day card because it's socially expected, not because you deserve it." Going no contact was so freeing, on so many levels. Definitely recommend it for those who can do so.

These are the words from a meme that literally changed my life for the better. I hope they resonate with others as deeply as it did me. I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry and accept an apology I never received

Omg! So perfect explanation! I some times feel so guilty for making no contact with my adult daughter. It’s been almost three years, it’s tough. 😢

I find that whenever I start thinking about breaking no contact I listen to Dr Ramani. Thank you. I feel like you make difference , you give me strength

No contact with my covert sister going on 2.5 years. Life is much more relaxing and I'm saving a ton of money becuase I'm no longer giving it all to her. It works!

I've been no contact with my NPD mom for 3½ years now. It's still hard sometimes due to family trying to guilt me into coming back, but it I'm the healthiest now physically and mentally that I've ever been.