I relate to what Robin Williams said: “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
@@gsue33 Some people extort their spouses with their emotional intimacy when trying to get what they think they want. Then the other one feels trapped and alone in his own home and marriage.
The last thing you want to hear as a suicidal person is "stay alive for your family" because that's what you tell yourself every minute of your miserable life... It's exhausting.
@@JFCotman Better to be wanted than needed, if someone only needs you, then there's no telling whether they actually care about you, or just what you provide.
Yep, i used to be opposite of depressed. I used to be high on life, on cloud 9 always, super happy, motivated, and have delusions of grandeur. Then this depression hit me and its very painful, very painful. I never even thought something like that would happen to me. I thought was indestructable. But i believe in God and will get treatment and get out of the hole. Never give up, no matter what, the Good Lord is with us. Let us all go to heaven, amen.
I lost my wife few days ago to suicide... I am totally destroyed. I don't understand what to do.. I just start crying whenever I miss her, whenever I see her photos. It's very hard time for me. I hope that with time, I can live normal life as possible. My heart goes out to all those people who have been affected by suicide.
You should lead a healthy life. If you have children, give them attention. I know, it sounds hard at this point but life goes on, and we struggle, life is struggle and struggle is joy.
All things take time but grief is forever. It may subside but on any given day even if you "get over It" it can hit you out of nowhere like a freight train. Just don't go down the road of blaming yourself. Im sure there's a million reasons you could have and find of how it's your fault how you could of done something anything to save her to give her reason to live but depression does work that way. You could have everything you ever wanted the perfect life the perfect family and depression could let you not even see it and be a broken person. Be a light in the world and cherish her name. When you speak of her death celebrate her life. Remember all the good times and know she would want you to be happy. I have been suicidal for 10 years and every attempt has been unsuccessful. God must not be ready for me. I always hesitate because of my son. And my father...it's it's hard to explain when you don't know how it feels it's easy to say just get over it. Just get better. Be more positive stop thinking so negatively. I'm here if you need to talk. Talking don't help it makes it worse at least for me. Love you man seriously I hope you caj pick up these broken pieces and try to move on with your life.
for anyone who doesn't understand depression i describe it like this: You forget your past, you hate your present, and you dread your future. When people say things like "just snap out of it" they have zero clue what that feeling is like.
Exactly. Just snap out of cancer. Just snap out of your broken jaw. Severe depression is a horrendous life threatening condition. Until it's understood and treated as such, there will be horrid outcomes.
The best description of a deep depression I've ever heard: 'the cure could be right beside you, but you won't reach for it.' That's the nature of despair. But it's more than a bully, it's a sadistic torturer that feeds on your pain while you beg for death. Everyone has their limits.
You are correct. It starts to attack you when you are experiencing things like grief, loss of control, freedom and alienation. Get professional help quick, tell as many people as you can, read your bible or whatever gives you strength, write down what you are grateful for and all the things you accomplished, give yourself small goals, go back to doing things that made YOU happy (dancing, singing, hiking ,biking, painting, listening to comedy). Laugh until it hurts. Be a silly as kid, because after all, if you are happy, who cares what other people think.
From time to time I even don't want a cure. Sometimes I somehow want to be depressed. It's like being scared of heights, but at the same time the edge draws you in.
Yeah, the worst advice is to stay alive for others. It shifts the attention from the suffering person to the people around them and makes the suicidal person even less important.
There is nothing any of us can do in the face of someone determined to kill themselves. Lori Prichard's story is sad, but she could not have saved him.
Yes, because it heaves blame on already full shoulders. And it takes away a possible solution without giving any better one. It's the tyranny of guilt.
@@emi1ypayne which in some cases may have been a major contribution to the problem in the first place. Few suicidals feel completely worthless for no outside reason.
I finally decided to stop keeping my pain to myself.... I've been married 15 years as well. When I told my wife about everything, the bullying as a kid, the molestation, the abandonment, the ptsd, she was astonished that I kept it to myself that long. But I will tell you that with her help I'm still here and getting help. I also found out that she loves me for real not just because of our circumstance. Get help. "Being a tough man" is a joke. We are human.
I feel like had your wife not paid attention to you, that may have driven you over the edge. What I despise about this video is that despite saying suicide isn’t selfish, she still somehow blames him! I can bet my last dollar that he’d expressed concerns - albeit in bits (because when you’re that low it takes a lot to fully open up) and he was ignored or made to feel like a bore! A therapist listening to you is not the same as a loved one listening to you. It’s why celebrities with all their money to pay for the best therapists in the world still commit suicide. One of the key elements of depression is the lack of an intimate human connection. If you don’t feel connected to anyone - like someone really cares, it’s easy to give it up because they’ll be better off anyway since you’re not that important. Women attempt suicide more but don’t go through because their complaints are taken seriously and they’re given the help and emotional support they need. Men on the other hand are either ignored or ridiculed! I’m glad your wife showed up!
You are a brave person. I too was molested, have Ptsd, depression and not protected from the age of 4. Some days the pain is so great, I can barely breath. Thank you for sharing and giving me a safe place to tell my truth. I wish you the very best of everything. May God heal your broken heart.
@@dea784 not brave. I just felt my mind closing in on me. I knew what was next. I didn't want to leave my family. I still feel the pain, but try to remember what I'm doing now.
Good for you!!! It's such a selfless, brave act to open up like that! I don't know you personally, but I'm very proud of you! You are a wonderful example for those suffering. Keep fighting! Keep loving! Life is worth living when you have help because you opened up. Thank you for posting your story!
I am so sorry to hear that, i wish you to peacefully accept the reality and continue your life with the knowing she suffer no more. I am in huge depression because of my addiction for years. I see no future for me, but keep fighting. We all should keep going trough life. We are not born to be happy we are born to survive.
@aleksandervaradinov1210 sending you prayers and love. I, too, am also an addict, been clean from fentanyl for over a year now. I think getting clean was the first step, now dealing with all the why's and how's has not been easy. I wouldn't say I'm happy, but I can say I seem to be getting happier. I don't have kids, or a significant other... but, and it's the difference of life and death to me, I have my dogs ❤ my bonds with them make it so I never have to explain a single tear I shed. They are with me on my worst days and celebrate the good ones with me ❤ God bless
My Dad committed suicide in 1999 when I was 15. My mum and sister found him hanging and they never recovered. Mum died of a broken heart and we were orphaned. My Dad never spoke a word about his pain. 22 years later, it's still painful.
I told my wife I was struggling. She divorced me. I tried to get help I was told I can see a professional in 3 or 4 months. The only reason I don’t eat a bullet I won’t give her the satisfaction.
May great blessings be upon your life. I'm sorry you had to face pain, upon pain, upon pain. It can be so helpful to ponder all the things you can be grateful for (the ability to walk, see, and hear, etc.) and that can spiral into changing your perspective on life. Living out of spite is no way to live.
Believe in God, the purpose of life is to go to heaven where you will be in an eternal state of bliss, beauty, and peace. Paradise is the solution to all of life's problems. Believe in Jesus and the gospels and read them. Then read the Quran, Muhammad was a true prophet sent by God after Jesus was sent. Please trust me on this.
I believe that all of it makes us unhappy. We are used to simple lives and slow meaningful ones. We live rapidly and forcibly uniquely now. I hope you be happy in your life.
@Peter Evans Having had to bury several people due to suicide, I am not willing to lay "blame" at anybody's feet, unless that person knew of the other person's suicidal ideations, and did nothing about it. Even though I have a very strange and macabre sense of humor, I don't think I could even crack a joke about somebody's suicide.
@Peter Evans I think it's one of the ways people try to make sense of what's happened. Something negative has occurred. What could I have done differently to prevent this? Like when children are told their parents are divorcing they may wonder if they did something wrong or if one of their parents doesn't love them any more.
As an extremely Depressed person the more you try to fight it by working on yourself forcing happiness the worst it gets, sure you can defeat it for few days or months but sooner or later will sneak up on you harder than ever before more each time stronger, a lil bit of you dies each time.
You may have just saved my life and prevent the people I love the most in this world from feeling the kind of pain I can hear in your voice. I don't know how to say thank you to someone who had to bear this burden to save the lives of others, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you 💛
I think dark thoughts are more common in teens because of less control over their own life choices. And also especially for people with a melancholy character type or disposition. If a person is angry ( choleric) they can take physical exercise. If a person is a criminal they can choose higher a higher standard of behavior ( sanguine) if they are phlegmatic ( lazy) they can create a schedule and to do list. When melancholy you can have a special pet and sing something upbeat and encouraging. Song can always be used as a weapon against discouragement. Joy comes from caring about others salvation. Sharing Truth is a lift for both. For me the hope I have is in my friendship with Jesus in His word. It’s all about becoming an Overcomer of our own weaknesses and living from our strengths. Introverts can give other things than time. And can expect from those you allow close to you to be kind thoughtful and share insight by really hearing your perspective. Please don’t expect people to be able to read your mind. I hope you can find someone you can trust to share friendship.
Lost my wife to suicide recently. She was suffering from depression caused by extreme mood swings and her hormones acting up so randomly. I feel the earth shattering pain you are going through. it's the survivor who pays the ultimate price. after losing your life partner, it's the loneliness that kills you from inside. The burden of letting her down is something I will carry through the rest of my life. can't forgive myself till I breathe.
I lost my boyfriend February 26 2024 . He did it right in front of me. I have so many emotions. Idk if I have much tears left in my heart I do. I cried so much my eyes have been raw. It hurts. Ur not alone
Some of the best advice I heard was "Ask yourself: do you want to die? Or do you want to simply stop feeling this way? The two are separate - you can stop feeling this way without dying"
The danger is when these two reach the same conclusion. After that, the question changes. "Why not today? Why not right now?" I don't see many people talking about those questions. I think not many people live long after that shift takes place.
This has helped. Maybe more than anything anyone else has said. I'm still contemplating death. The equation looks like that's the sum, but there are a few unknown variables.
“All our anxieties relate to time. The major problems of psychiatry revolve around an analysis of the despair, pessimism, melancholy, and complexes that are the inheritances of what has been or with the fears, anxieties, worries, that are the imaginings of what will be.” Fulton J Sheen
There is no help. Unless you have the luxury of insurance. Help costs money. I'm so jealous of her husband that he could actually go through with it and succeed. Facing homelessness, being alone and unable to care for yourself because of crippling PTSD and depression and anxiety..I would gladly trade with him.
Sadly, there doesn't seem to be a good way to do it. That's probably why I'm still alive. My friend and I are trying to figure something out that will work if need be. (hope for the best, plan for the worst)
Wow. Watching this was like watching a video about my own life. The only difference in our stories would be that my husband did it in front of me. I just wish I hadn't stumbled across this at work so I could have really let my emotions flow. I'm speechless. All I can say is wow. I know EXACTLY how she feels. As she mentioned, when I look back at pictures of him over the years I can see the sadness written all over his face.
Wow I’m sorry to hear that . My ex recently took his own life & I was looking at Instagram pictures of him & he looked so sad I don’t know if I’m over analyzing because of what I know now
Those of us who have suffered long-term depression have become masters of hiding our pain. The depression can become relentless and it is like drowning when everyone around you are breathing.
So true! Ive been dealing with depression since the 6th grade. For whatever reason it started right after puberty. My kids are the reason I stay strong everyday but people dont understand it. Ive tried all types of medication and it seems like self discipline is the only thing that works. It's like a dark cloud over your head and its unprovoked. People will think your nagging and keep refering to try more medication because they cant handle it. I just stay to myself and journal so I wont be a burden to anyone. Just take one day at a time.
What if ... Reincarnation was real... and this life with all these very raw, heavy loads that we endure was the reason we came to balance these energies within our energy fields that we carry as a part of the human consciousness? What if the very real effort and struggle we face each day is to help not only ourselves but all those who carry the same struggle? Would our pain not only having meaning but a very real purpose and mission to overcome to become that light for others? What if to overcome the bully that lives within us frees us from our karmic bond we then don't have to come back to a life of struggle again but to bring the joy of breathing, to see the beauty in another, what if that other was you?
Abounding grace yes he is one pathway, there are many that all lead us back to our true nature, not to be overlooked, for there have been many to lived a god realised life
We lost our son in July of 2019. He was the most amazing young man. He tried so hard to survive, as he was tortured everyday. He didn’t believe anyone who told him how amazing he was. I miss him every minute of every day.
My husband died by suicide within just days of my birthday, also in August 2019. One of the most deeply painful experiences of my life. He was a veteran who spent his last moments on a suicide prevention hotline. I sat at his bedside; 9 days he spent on life support. He was without oxygen for too long, machines keeping his body alive. The totality of it all was just horrifying. I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain & the forever-unanswered question of WHY. Thank you for sharing your story. Your family's story. I pray you have the strength to carry the broken pieces, even though your children nor you "deserve" to do so. He was hurting, trying to be strong but hurting nonetheless. Suicide, it simply takes all the pain a person feels and transfers it to those left behind... RIP George W. Stapleton Jr ❤️ I will love you forever.
I just lost my wife a few days ago to suicide... I’m destroyed. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that with time, I can live as normal of a life as possible. I’ve never experienced something this devastating before and my heart goes out to all people who have been affected by suicide.
Wade, i am sorry to hear of your suffering. I spent the last 35 years trying not to kill myself. I still think about it all the time, what helped me was Neil Peart's book Ghost rider. Nothing anyone can say anything to make you feel better, but I hope you find peace at some point
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 She is. Losing someone isn't easy and the fact she did a Ted talk just to transmit a message and make sure people don't make the same mistake as her is a proof of her strength.
After 44 years of being with my wife, She threw me out 5 months ago. I am 73 years old. I am struggling to carry on. I am very depressed. My heart goes out to this lady. The pain is too much .
Your life. Make a choice. I was left and hospitalised for suicide after my husband suicided and I found him. I decided I could never leave our child (then 6) like he did. Moreover, despite mental illness I will never let it win. Never. It was a choice even in my darkest, most hopeless moments. I reached out and got help, he refused to.
This was so surreal for me, I'm in tears 😢. On July 14th, my wife took her own life too. We have an 8 year old daughter is who is the sweetest little girl in the world. I found out around 6pm that evening. I waited till the next day (when our extended family could arrive) to tell my daughter. It was the toughest thing I've ever done in my life. She sat on my lap surrounded by family, as I told her "your mom was in an accident". I started to cry then my daughter asked "did she die?" and we all burst into tears. I pray NOBODY ever has to experience what my family has been through.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your daughter. Life can be incredibly ly unjust. As a person who has struggled with mental illness I hope it is okay or me to help you understand your wife's pain must have been enormous. What doctors cannot see with X-Rays and cannot help with often ineffective medications is a very REAL disease. If healthy people could experience mental illness for even a minute, they would understand why your wife could not go on. I say this so you can know not to take her action personally. If the doctors cannot help, what are people to do?
I am sorry to hear of your loss of your wife. As the mom of a 32 yr old wife, who killed herself in their home quietly and peaceful, that her husband was downstairs n just thought she was sleeping. The only point of my comment is, my daughter did not have kids, thank God, but her 3 older siblings did. This was under 2 years ago so they were 2 girls 9 and 5, and my grandson age 13. My daughter told the 8 yr old exactly that aunt Meggie did not want to die, but she had an illness in her brain that changes her feelings. So yea now at 11 my granddaughters will openingly talk about suicide. You should always be honest with important issues, cause whe. they are older and find out truths, you've lost all their trust. Jmho
I can 100% relate to this . Telling my children that their father had taken his own life was absolutely the worst day of my life . It was also the day before my birthday.
When I told my mom years ago that I’m struggling with depression, she responded by saying I need to pull myself together. When I told my dad that I’m struggling with depression, he also responded by saying I need to pull myself together. That was the last time I ever spoke to anyone about my depression. I’ve been trying to pull myself together ever since. It’s tough. The only reason I’m still alive is because I’m trying to put up a fight, not for myself, but for the people around me.
TAKE IT FROM AN AUTISTIC PERSON. Your worth your DIGNITY as a human being is INDEPENDENT of your circumstances. There's a difference between deserve & need...many people..like her husband didn't think he deserved to be love. ..."deserve" is off topic because we NEED to be loved. Deserving,when it comes to being loved is outta topic. Depression may be guilt driven or you're annoyed about yourself or such...WE ALL got limitations. These don't make me less worth in the eyes of GOD or in HIS circle of life in nature. Who is the world...who are people...who is mainstream to judge you and determine your dignity. I understand that depression blocks our self awareness of our dignity....BUT IT'S STILL THERE just because you can't sense it THAT DON'T MEAN it ain't there.. see the difference ?
Powerful powerful powerful! And very helpful and important, not to mention brave to share publicly. Helping someone or yourself through depression is so incredibly difficult, good help is essential and this video does a great job in encouraging us all to do that. Thank you.
My best friend took his life when we returned from Iraq. I have never been the same since. I was wounded in action, we had a rough time over there but I didn't see that coming. RIP Byron McGreer.
C N, I am so very sorry for your loss, brother. My best friend also died by suicide on Christmas Eve back in 1997. I was the last person to see him alive in person, and I didn't see it coming either. The guilt of "failing my buddy" almost got me to join him. Please get help, if you haven't already. This burden is at least a two-man carry.
Lori, your talk is so raw and true. Your pain, so evident in your words and experience, may it be the video that a person conteplating suicide watches and it gives them the strength to reach out to their loved ones. May the days ahead have brightness for you and your children and may your beloved husband find peace.
Thank you Lori for being so courageous to share your story with us. It definitely opens our eyes and hearts to the invisible pain that many suffer from in silence and cultivates the compassion we need for oneself and others to connect more and more deeply. Your beautiful soul brightens the world.
@@ek7407 If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything alive now is eventually gonna die, what's the point of feeling sorrow for something that's just a natural process?
@@mysteriousenigma6288 depression and isn't a natural road. I don't feel bad for anyone that died a decent death. You clearly are just a dark person with no remorse or emotion. And before you argue back "I'm not dark, I just don't focus on dead people, I have my own life" I don't focus on what's already happened, I do however acknowledge it.
@@ek7407 I'm not a dark person. I'm a Nihilist. Do you feel sad if you kill a spider or an ant? No, so why feel sorrow over humanity? People die every single day. It's how it is.
Suicide is not selfish. It’s relief. Yes your leaving loved ones behind. But depending how far gone you are that feeling of snapping and the feeling of losing your mind it’s nothing like it. I’ve suffered from depression since I was about 15 and I’m 42 now. At 20 I endured an abusive marriage. Which took me over the edge. I ended up leaving my ex husband and just when I thought I was able to love again depression crept in. Depression has made me introverted while he is extroverted. He gets very angry at me when I’m just not in the mood to live. I just want him to slow down for me just for a second and let me slowly peak my head out into the world but he just wants to push me…… just slow down for me.. But he won’t and I can’t blame him life is to be lived. I ask him all the time to help me I ask everyone to help me but everyone’s too busy. You’re too tired to try to look for help. Thinking bout the extra bills it will causes anxiety. Too scared to be put on medicine because it might make you crazier. And always searching for the most painless way to slip away from life. Most aren’t selfish cause they are staying here much longer than they intended for their loved ones. The feeling of a mental relapse is unexplainable. It leaves you tired and feeling hopeless it’s just no quality of life. Since I don’t have anyone who takes me serious I just exist and hopefully I’ll continue until I naturally leave this world. I can honestly say I haven’t woken up happy and excited in years and it’s just a feeling you learn to get use to. But I encourage all to hang in there.❤️ and like she said if you do know of someone who is suffering take them seriously. Put your arms around them… show them you care. Because when I’m in pain and crying I imagine God wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. Because I know if no one else understands I know he does. 😔😊
I'm so sorry you're in pain and no one is listening to you about it. Have you tried reaching out to a physician? Please take care of yourself, you're worthy if all of the love in the world and more. I hope you're doing okay and seeking professional help.
Im sorry love i am going through the same thing and worse im in china as an intl student i just want to die but the anxiety of the expenses to die as a foreigner in china. I also imagine Jesus comforting me please help me return to my country please im begging you i havent had a decent day
Thank you for sharing your experience. I had a failed suicide attempt 8 years ago and only very recently grateful for my failure. My depression is still with me but I now realize what harm it would have caused my daughter. Your story drove that home for me. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Most people I've come to with the subject of depression are judgmental and unforgiving and worst of all aren't interested in researching like they would if the subject was cancer or diabetes etc. Hopefully videos like yours will help change that. Wishing you strength and comfort. 🇨🇦
my Mom died on Mother's Day. She sadly was so depressed with three kids under the age of 5 that she hung herself. Many many years later I came to an understanding that she is at peace and in a much better place than we are. She is resting peacefully and I forgive her because depression is a very serious thing. I am proud today to be a part of her life and I know she walks with me. I feel grateful now knowing that I can feel her presence. Sheila
I lost my father 41 years ago this July. For years I tried to forgive him, then I realised he had nothing to be forgiven for, He did not take his life, his illness did. I still miss you every single day dad Rest in Peace.
Thank you. I think I might be able to get closer to acceptance of my own mother's suicide 3 years ago if I can remind myself to shift my perspective that my feelings about what happened would be as ridiculous as being angry for a loved ones succumbing to death from cancer.
Thank you for sharing your story. My deepest sympathies for your loss. I recently lost my partner to depression and this has helped me feel a little less alone. It doesn’t help to judge, but compassion and kindness do help.
What I would wonder is, as someone with severe depression, the energy that it takes to 'hide' this from others. How could nobody notice? The amount of strength it takes to hide this is nearly unhuman.
Sometimes those close to you KNOW IT. Specially if you have talked to them about it (whether briefly or in detail) it’s just that they do not care. Or they think you’re just weak and want to play victim card. This is what happened to me. I opened up to one of my siblings and he violated my trust by making fun of the situation in front of other people that were not even my friends or people I even knew well…. 😢 I want to get away from him before I start resenting him
I know someone that expressed how depressed they were after a breakup with his girlfriend. What did they do? He was locked up in a "hospital" with actual lunatics and violent criminals for 24 hours. He told me he didn't sleep the entire night because he was in fear for his life. After they let him go they sent him a bill for $5000. Yeah, that makes little to no sense. Doesn't seem like seeking help for depression is a wise thing to do.
You know what? I understand 100% where you’re coming from!! Mental health professionals and the facilities they work for are so often more dangerous than they are helpful.
@@backpfeifengesicht980 - Yeah, I would have thought they would try to comfort him - instead he was treated like a criminal and charged $5000. So, what exactly is the message here? Don't seek help.
Get the best help you can. All hospitals, clinics and therapists are not alike. Check what services are available before you go. Check what your insurance covers. Ask if anyone knows a good therapist. etc. Excercise is good for lifting depression. Fake a smile to release some of the natural painkillers. Ask a friend to check in with you more often. Challenge the bill if bad services were provided.
My therapist wanted her cash before I even entered her room! I get that they have bills to pay. But it just reminded me that the compassion she was showing was an act she was doing for money.
@@jeradkiester698 - where in the world do you get off making a statement like that? You have ZERO clue as to how crushing clinical depression really is. Try waking up on any given day and wondering why you don’t feel happy. You can have a loving wife, a great job, wonderful children, and friends, and still feel sad. I live this and have thought about suicide literally thousands of times. As this woman states, I struggle to “silence that bully in my brain’” on a regular basis. Sometimes people fall so deep in a dark hole that suicide seems the only solution.
@@aeromedical6750 I strongly encourage you to talk to a Dr and get some professional counselling. There is support and assistance available. Don't let depression control your life. You deserve to feel valued, loved, important, happiness, peace, joy and fulfilment. There is always hope and room to make improvements. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and good luck xoxo
@@susanmcguire4664 - thanks for the kind comments. I am actually doing very well. My point of the comment was help people understand what living with depression is like. It’s not something you can just “turn off” but you find ways to deal with it that are not destructive to yourself and others. Unfortunately for this woman, her husband couldn’t overcome his demons. There are days when it’s a struggle to do so, but I have a really good support system,
My son attempted suicide twice last month. I found him both times and the medics intubated him and were able to save his life. Both times he was hospitalized for a week. It's like living in a nightmare.
Dear Kathy 💔💔it must be so hard for you and the family.. wondering why,questions unanswered..wil this happen again .wil the next time be the final time..wat am I doing wrong. Your heart is so full of fear and hurt. I just wanted to reach out to you. I haven't experienced any of this but I felt wat u are feeling and I wanted to let you know someone's here for you..I am from South Africa 💗
Michael Hoffman thanks for sharing your story bro, excuse the name, I'm a male just wanted to point that out. I'm 34 and I too suffer from depression since the age of 12 people say you should talk about it but it's difficult to do nowadays, people will ghost you or down play you because of it. As a male you have to be strong at all times and that's impossible, depression is nooooooo joke so if you want to talk just let me know bro.
Little known secret: you hide your feelings when you realize that there is no treatment, there is no cure, there is not even a willingness to see it. So, you cover it up so that you can suffer alone until it's over.
Suicide is an escape option for those who feel trapped. No one wants to die, they just want to escape something they consider far worse in terms of physical or emotional suffering. I’ve always looked at it myself as a nuclear if all else fails option and that strangely is comforting. I take the example of the services of euthanasia being offered to a young woman in Belgium who was chronically depressed, she had chosen to die by euthanasia but when the day came to end her life she chose not to. Why? Because simply knowing she had a way out made her life more bearable as a result
Yes. That is some of the reason voluntary euthanasia and assisted dying services are important, worldwide. They remove a lot of the fear of dying for many people that are lucky enough to be eligible.
Although I don't want to speak ill of the dead when I see someone who left their family behind, who had something so many people kill themselves for not having and people willing to help I wish I could curse the suicidal person with a form of immortality. Not one where they live forever, just a normal life but a form of temporary invincibility. I wonder what they would do if they could not die no matter what they tried.
RJL why do you feel any individual is obligated to live for others? This man spent a good portion of his life for others and when he was finally too tired he slept. His life his right. I just hope Lori can get to a point where she appreciates what he did do for her before he took what was rightfully his.
@@joshuasukup2488 I understand your perspective and in the end, it is that person's life and decision. I just can't help but think there are other and better options. It's still difficult to see someone you care being in pain and not realizing it. Also, people can be toxic with themselves, and decisions made from that mentality are already so compromised. How do we know it's truly what they want when the decisions comes from a dark place? Many people don't feel their lives or themselves worthy when in reality, they always were. Yes, in the end, it's their life and decision, but I hope, truly hope, that they find their inner beautiful voice.
No matter what people say, society still looks at mental health as weakness and attempts at “getting attention”. It is still not a topic that is taken seriously. This lady’s Ted talk is so powerful.
The hard part is the people who love you most don't understand it and get annoyed. It's very isolating. It never goes away. It's a life long battle. I don't blame people for not understanding it but please give struggling people space sometimes. We just need space sometimes. It can be managed but never goes away.
She speaks about the silent struggle that many many people wake up to daily and we keep it to ourselves and choose fight it alone. Holding it together and hiding how much pain is part of the mastery that is learned and held together until you can’t anymore. People get help. Hopefully you wife, husband or friend sees it and look at this the way she described it. Hopefully my kids aren’t burdened by this disease and live a happy joyful life.
My brother took his life in June of this year. I will never, ever get past this. I just cannot. He wasn't just my brother, but he was also my best friend. I have so many regrets. I wish that I had done so many things differently. I wish that I had been there for him more. I just keep going over that day, over and over. I wish that I had called him or even sent him a message. Something that had moved his mind from that thought, that very moment. But now, here we are, and I can't change what has happened. My brother was such a good person. He had things inside him that he conflicted with, addiction being one of them. But I know who he was. He would do anything, for anyone. I will miss him for the rest of my life. I miss you, Michael....❤️
I have a great brother myself, who I love the most out of my entire family. Everytime I don't get to see him for a while I miss him a lot. So I can in a very slight way understand your pain. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know you or him but from how you described him he sounds like a fantastic guy. I believe in you, not to completely move on from your brother because of his tragic death, but to keep him as a permanent good memory for the rest of your life.
I know how you feel. :(! MY sister took her life in June, 2018. Not a day goes by, I don't think of her! There were no signs, no addictions, no issues we thought! Please, take care and stay strong.
How you describe your brother is exactly how I would describe my father. I regret the same things as you too. My dad took his life 3 days before christmas in 2016 and I still feel the guilt of not making that call or something i should or could have done that might have stopped him. But one person said to me that even if you can stop them on that day it is very likely to happen on another. Once someone has made up their mind. And he never let us know how serious his depression was either so we never got that chance to help. At least now my dad is free of pain and the torture of his own mind working against him. But I wish every single say he didnt do it..he has missed so much and we miss him.
Just remember it is not your fault. He was sick. I have had depression and please trust me when I say. It is not your fault. Take care. Love from Holland.
I feel for you Lori, I experenced the loss of my wife of 25 years to hidden depression. Thank you for sharing. It is ironic we only fully understand their pain through the loss.
As a woman it's difficult to believe you. Studies have shown that wives do not care if their husbands commit suicide. I hope you were got some money from it.
He understood the pain he would be inflicting on you all but the one he was feeling was sooo much harder to cope with. He didn’t want to die. He just wanted the hurting to stop.
I call BS on the "he just wanted the hurting to stop." He (and everyone) wants/needs to be heard. They want & need to be seen and accepted and loved. That's what was missing in the relationship. You can tell by her testimony. It's a copout to blame it on a "disease" as many testimonies in these comments prove. I've read dozens of comments here where suicidal ppl got better by simply talking & sharing their pain instead of holding it in. In the talking and sharing there is love if the listeners care enough to really hear & see. In many cases, the survivors simply need to repent from their own narcissism.
@@jimwest5027you are probably not a suicide survivor, as some of us are. If you were, you would know that ending the unbearable pain is all this is about
They’re not trying to end their life, they’re just trying to end the pain. This comment sums it up very well for me. If you've been there and experienced the overwhelming pain as you cling by your finger nails to life, you know there's one thing that will stop the pain for good, and finally give you peace.
Yep. Sometimes you get so tired of scrambling to keep your head above water you have no energy left. Some of us retreat to our beds. Others can't even face that any more.
This is very powerful stuff. Thank you for sharing your tragic experience with others. Many will learn from it, usefully apply it and live fuller, more meaningful lives as a consequence. I know this has been so difficult for you, but please know that your misfortune, and the significant insights you've have derived from them, will help countless others.
May his soul rest in peace. Sending all the love and healing and strength and i hope you keep succeeding like this and spreading awareness advocating people. I wish the best of the best for you and all his loved ones. May you heal and stay this strong. ❤
I was so close to the edge when I finally admitted to my wife what I was really feeling. It wasn't just a comment to her. I asked her to sit down and just listen to me because I have some things to say to you and I really need your help. Next, I told my physician, who set me up with a specialist. Just talking and being honest about it was like lifting the weight of a car off me. Looking back I can't believe I lived most of my life in such sadness and pain when just having the courage to take the first step to say to someone I have a problem was the biggest single step to living a much happier life. If you are considering suicide, please talk with a friend, spouse, a doctor... There is all the help in the world out there for you. People who truly care. Just reach out. A helping hand is there.
I wouldn't trust a friend or a potential spouse with any of that, especially not the latter. She'd surely leave. Help most of the time is just drugs, they drug you up so you feel numb to it. For many there's nothing that can really be said to them.
I was so relieved when in college, a close friend willingly checked herself into a mental health facility because of her depression and suicidal thoughts. She understood she was sick and this was something she could not fix. She was then told by the nurse that she was too young to be depressed and had too much going for her to be suicidal. I was wrong to assume that encouraging someone to get professional help is a always good solution.
I no longer get any calls or texts from anyone unless they need my help with their needs or on holidays and birthdays. HOW can anyone believe that anyone loves them? People keep saying “get over it!” “Stop thinking too much!” “You’re just looking for attention!” With these and many other similar comments is why those who suffer don’t want to say anything. This is MY story now and it’s a struggle living alone and no one around to talk to without worrying about hearing THOSE comments! And I can JUST hear them now 🙄. Thank you for your video. Aloha 🌺
This just breaks my heart. We all need to pay more attention to the men in our lives. Our husbands, our sons, uncle's, boyfriends, father's, nephews, grandsons etc. Men tend to bottle up their emotions more often because society expects then to always be strong.
Carolyn Brown interesting yes understanding is indeed the key, men do not process their thoughts and feelings like women, their needs are very different. Have you heard of the queens code by Alison Armstrong, she has a website understanding men and women and how we as women emasculate men in very subtle ways, this has changed how I interact with my husband and sons.
Carolyn Brown if you find Alison Armstrong on you tube and her website all the information is there. If you watch her on you tube you can glean a lot of information. She wrote a fictional story called the Queens Code and even though it's not a literary best seller the information is vital.
oh so powerful. thanks Lori. I hope you and your children can find some healing and peace soon. so brave to do this talk. I live a lonely life with my doggie too. he has often been a protective factor for me against suicide
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I would bet most people can be empathetic of the pain of the person who killed themself while also being frustrated with the pain they caused you at the same time. it's not one-dimensional. I agree "how dare you leave us" on its own isn't generous to the person who died, but it really does hurt being left.
I was waiting for a comment like this. While she was all teary eyed and emotional, I felt like she was still low key blaming him despite saying ‘suicide isn’t selfish’! This is what happens when you’re all focused on what your husband/partner can do for you, that you have to watch videos and read his journal to realize he was dying right in front of you. I can bet that he’d tried to open up to her but his concerns were dismissed. One of The main reasons for suicide is because the victims don’t feel like they have an outlet and that they’re being a boredom to their partners for expressing their pain. I’m sorry but I’m not very sympathetic towards her. She’s crying because she didn’t pay attention to him while he was alive and wants to play victim talking about “now I have to worry about the children”... yeah, too bad!
Yeah, world’s a surreal place. People expect you to be happy or pretend like them and only care about your suffering when you’re gone. Mental illness is everywhere and I’m not talking about suicide
Nope. And even if they're supportive at the start, their patience wears thinner as time goes by. No one wants to be with Mr Misery Guts, "oh woe is me". So you hide it and that just adds another straw. Plus some people are scared - like they think you're about to flip out, or that they might catch it, or they just don't know what to say and withdraw. They'll sometimes view you as less as well, given the stigma associated with mental illness. One thing that does seem to be changing is the appetite to get a better understanding of mental illness out into the public awareness.
@@davidbgreensmith And the Reason peoole are starting to take mental illness and suicidal ideation seriously: the sheer number of rampage killings. Now it's affecting them.
Thank you. I try everyday to remind myself the pain I would cause my family by taking my life. It is the only reason I'm here and I appreciate you reminding me of my importance.
Lori, you are spot on, there is a bully in our heads. I have dealt with that bully for 41 years, I’m now 56. The pain is real and expressing it does make me feel like a failure. I’m thankful I stumbled upon your presentation, it does help. Thank you!
I‘m 20 now, been dealing with the bully for 6 years. He shows up when I am alone, drunk or tired. It got better, but I really, really want him to go away.
Jesus loves you only God knows your pain and struggle He wants a relationship read the Bible is the Word of God talk to Him He is everywhere only He can truly heal you no when can who??? What can you do??? Nothing only Jesus
Of course you afterwards see this signs because you have now the time to specifically pay attention to these signs and look for them in photos etc. But at that time you cannot know if the person does not talk about his or her inner world at all, or, whenever doubts are spoken out, downplays these. It wasn't her fault and you have no idea how their life went.
One thing I always use to relief my self when I feel really exhausted and stressed out is how vast this universe is. I watch some of those videos and realize my problems are just big in my head. Nothing is as horrible as I thought it would be. Its strange but has helped me manage my stress all the time.
@tfssoccer I am going through a horribly dangerous depressive episode right now and your comment made me remember that i used to do this too when i was younger. It helped so much. Thank you for reminding me of it, it's exactly what i needed right now❤
By not opening them it shows she doesnt want to face the reality of why he did it, and the chance she could play a role in having fault she wont accept.
@@saltandiron3379 I agree. There is no way she wouldn't have opened the presents he left for her. If he had gone to the trouble to get her those gifts, even though he knew he was going to kill himself, they must have been very significant and may have contained messages she would want to read.
Thank you, Lori. Thank you for finding the strength and the courage to share this incredibly personal story of such pain and tragedy to everybody who will listen. My heart hurts for you and your babies. May you three never forget how much Travis did love you. May you remember that in that final moment, he was not himself. That bully had gotten full control. I will continue to pray for you and I will pray for Travis. Thank you again for sharing this story, Lori! God Bless you and your family
Most women I know are too selfish to care about such a note. The moment you give it to them they will stop seeing you as a man, which is likely what our now deceased fellow understood too well - a no win situation
My husband of almost 21 years took his life this past August. We have 3 young sons together. Thank you for sharing your story. So many similarities. I can say I understood unequivocally EVERYTHING you talked about in your speech. I know it can help others if they will truly listen. 💜💜💜💜
Depression is a strange thing to explain to someone who hasn't had it, it's like it sneaks up on you, you don't see it coming. Once it has you you feel trapped in despair totally hopeless wanting to escape, that's when the thoughts of suicide come in. I think that once suicide is in someone's head as an option it's hard to talk them out of it.
The advice given is a bit problematic for someone with depression, how do you talk to someone you love if you are numb to that love to the point where it doesn't seem like love anymore?
i've had that feeling before from "light depression" as I call it. Feeling sad and empty, finding it hard to smile, and feeling like everything is hopeless. It's a ROTTEN feeling. I couldn't wait for it to be over. That was a year or two ago and fortunately I haven't had a repeat.
@ShiftCtrl85 I agree, suicide was something younger people did but older people are now taking their lives, I would imagine the thought has been with them a long time and finally ground them down. Perhaps losing friends and family and failing health is the final straw. My own mother tried twice last year and she's 72.
My mother found my father and never told me he took his own life because I was 6 when it happened. She passed away before we could ever have a conversation about it. I never blamed her, but I wish she could have found the courage to tell me the truth as I grew up. I could have helped her not blame herself for my fathers death and maybe she wouldn’t have lived so many years broken hearted and depressed. This is a valuable speech to me. We shouldn’t treat depression so lightly but it’s a hard difficult battle.
Jesus Christ is the only real relationship you (or any man) can have on this earth that will never fail you..in what is best. The day I said out loud, Lord I no longer want to live, I heard an audible whisper right behind my ear. He is very real...so are the Angels that surround us. Obviously, devils are real too. Say out loud, (Jesus Christs blood won over all you devils) and they run.. Also speak, "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord." "No weapons formed against me shall prosper."
I am all alone, both parents die in my arms. Mother at 16 father at 24. My gf left me when i went in depression. I am all alone in this world. But i live, i live because i made a promise to my father, he asked me to never give up and take care of my sister. People say you have to live for your sister, which i do. But its so tough. No one understand, not a single relative or extended family want to talk. Life is just endless suffering.
