Gary Chapman-Author-Conference Speaker Book: "This I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married" To Get Your Copy: www.crossroads.ca/store www.garychapman.org
@@Health_Is_Wealth_Media Well....yes. lol. This whole thing is like what comes first the chicken or the egg. Lol. Both respect and cherish are kind of the same thing:)
Oh hohoho that’s where you’re wrong me friend. You have not been married yet apperantly, because the family court system is the most one-sided mouth destroying curb stomp you will ever suffer in your existence of a man.
For you to learn your partner it requires HONESTY of who we are from both parties. Don’t hide who you are in an effort to please the other because once in marriage, the real you will always come out.
Truth. My Ex hide who he truly was. He presented me with who he wanted me to see. Slowly as we were planning the wedding he start to show me his true self. I go out of the engagement because he wanted to hold me back from being a progressive person.
Here's my two pence: Since nobody is perfect, perfection is not and should never be the point. Therefore, before getting married (1) be ready in yourself to simply make a commitment, (2) be mature enough in yourself to have impulse-control. THAT'S IT. FOR THE REST, YOU JUST GOTTA DO YOUR BEST.
This woman is such a good interviewer! This video was both informative, engaging, and fun to watch in a way. She covered so many parts of the book also, I loved this.
What I learned. Don’t depend on your spouse for love. They are human and will inevitably fail you. God should be your SOURCE of love that will never fail, deny, or reject you.
Alexandra that is what i realised also! I love my husband but despite reading the 5 Love languages he still doesn’t use that knowledge. I have had to accept that he is an act of service guy and that’s how he loves me.
I think living together takes something away (diminishes) from marriage...To me, its'what makes the beginning of marriage exciting and unfolding. I was 23 and did it before I was christian..By the time we married, I wasn't really excited...think women see it as one step closer to altar. But wouldn't it be better, if the guy proposed beforehand to say, your worth it...Not let me try you out.
My favorite phrase Gary used was, "I was blown out of the saddle!!!" at around the 6:20 mark. Very insightful and helpful video. Definitely going to read your book. Just had my heart broken recently and I decided I needed to focus on being there bride of Christ before being the bride of a man and this video was exactly what I needed to watch today. ♥️🙏🏼
I have read this book and it is amazing!! This video doesn't even scratch the surface of the amazing content of this wisdom-filled book. For those of you trying to sum it up in a cutesy little quote, that's nice, but there isn't a magical quote that will help you through your marriage. This book contains practical advice that will help you prevent conflicts and reduce escalation and I highly recommend it to absolutely everyone.
Very nice advice from Dr. Gary Chapman.. I just saw this video and it's really helpful and insightful. I learned a lot and such a soft spoken voice with great wisdom about marriage life.🙏😇😊 Thank God for this man.
superb video. this is helping me, esp the part about becoming a student of your partner and learning their love languages. thank you and shared to show my appreciation
Romantic love doesn't sustain a relationship. It's temporary and euphoric. Learn to speak each other's love language. What makes one person feel loved doesn't necessarily make the other person feel loved. To a lady, telling her you love her might not mean anything unless you help her out whenever she's in need. Get to know his or her family members, you're likely going to have them in your life for live. Such an insightful video.... It blew me out of the saddle.
Great video. My entire adult life has been centered around work and music. I don't follow sports, but I like the integrity of golf, would love to utilize this an occaisional outlet, nothing more.
I agree w the family part. Family shouldn't be the only reason you do/don't get married, but fitting in with each others' family makes a huge, huge difference. Also look at whether or not your spouse stands up for you in front of their family, or lets them run the show.
I wish I’d NEVER got married. People in the church pushed me to get married to relieve their conscience of me being the pastors son. I was supposed to be married and not single. Had I known what I know now I would had stayed away from church until I was more sure of who I was.
People often give up before they get started. The average life span of the obsession is 2 yrs. We have to speak each other's love language. What is she / he into? Golf widow How do u process pain? 20 yr research shows divorce rate HIGHER for those who lived together before getting married: not logical
I guess it's okay if we don't have enough plan about everything because marriage is not all about the happy moments that you've shared together, but it's all about how you face all the trials and challenges that you've encountered and learned from all the mistakes that you had.
Wow, I went on my 1st date last weekend and we already discussed all the important questions... it just came naturally to us. Very imformative and a comfortable conversation in the least.
I heard a preacher say to a couple who wanted to get married. He told them they would have to wallpaper his kitchen. He said that if you are both still friends after you finish the job then I will marry you all.
Most people need to get married and raise a family. Not everybody, but most people do. I love coming home to peace and quiet; I couldn't have that if I'm married. I already have two sides of a family; I don't want two more. I was raised in a family and I'm still taking a break from that. I know how to be miserable all by myself and at a much cheaper rate than two people miserable together. I can deal with the disadvantages of being single better than I can deal with the disadvantages of being married. I like spending time at a library or museum or taking a short road trip and/or getting my news fix or youtube channels dealing with economics or cars. I don't care about living in a house, I'm not that talkative in addition to being a total introvert as well as probably having asperger's. Most normally socially developed people should spend the time and effort to find the right person to marry and work at it for the rest of their lives. I've heard it can be extremely fulfilling.
The issue is if you marry in that 1st romantic phase < less than 2 years, it will not matter what the family does and their level of dysfunction because at that point it will only be ignored because of the deep and strong emotions. After the high wears off, then it will become a problem (you know the issue with that person and their family members! Good discussion!
Sunday morning Christians and daily devotional Christians is the difference between Christians and Christ followers. Great advice! Marriage is hard don’t let people lie to you and say it’s not!
Your book, "the things I wish I'd known before getting married" makes so much sense. I love every single letter of that book. Thank you so much for writing that book sir.
So blessed to have read your book doctor. My wife and I use your insights in our pre marriage counselling sessions with our counselees. God bless you richly to bless many all over the world. We are from Sri Lanka
A person should learn as much as they possibly can about marriage before they get married. What the Bible says primarily, and from experts like this man. My wife and I were married in less than eight weeks and hadn't even met before I got on the plane to meet her for the wedding thousands of miles away, different cultures, much different ages and are going strong over three years. I read this man's book a long time ago and loved it and think about it to this day. Like him, I need words of affirmation to feel loved.
"Maybe that is why we are more successful in our vocations than in our marriage" A couple reasons: 1-Your marriage doesn't pay your bills. 2. You can please more than just one person but a whole team! 3- Usually (if you are indeed sucessful) in your workplace, then you are doing something right with your vocation. 4- People have no choice but to cooperate at a business otherwise, no paychecks!
One of the elements of my love language for my husband was preparing tasty and nutritious meals I knew he enjoyed..and he did! Imagine my shock when one day he threw it in my face that being a good wife was not just cooking for him..we are in an informal separation for the last four years. Basically means he doesn't give me any support financially and is living a single life again. I am working on a formal separation to change this..wish I had seen the signs that he was the biggest narcisist ever 😭
Exactly, the high of just dating (not to mention marriage) don't last no more than 2 yrs...but if two people learn each other AFTER learning themselves somewhat with the help of God of course...I believe relationships period would go pass the "in love stage"...my view!!! I've learned to love and appreciate me now. I haven't dated for yrs but I'm sharing this to inspire people to self love and just getting to know self first.
I was alwaysx about true love , i felt love was about giving i believe excitement , share finacial i thought she was my best friend it ended me with making her dependi g on me i loved her to my soul bt i thnk i need more
@Valiant Woman Agreed... but... if a man wants to marry and a woman does not... No wedding takes place. Just as if a woman wants to abort a pregnancy, but the man wants the child to be born... The abortion takes place. The woman always decides..
@Valiant Woman The point here is how many times do women benefit from divorce compared to men? Women win all the prizes. No fault divorce and child custody laws are the reason marriage is actively discouraged. There is NO RISK for a woman to get married. Whereas the man risks everything. No thanks...
