that assault question made me so sad, like i dont have a female friend who has not been assaulted its so messed up. a guy pressuring you into saying yes is not consent!!! no matter how close yall are ,and do not feel bad because it is not your fault. if you reading this and struggling to deal with something that happened to you im so sorry
@@Lordkeepmesafe It means that when she says no, it's no. No begging, no bargaining, no anger, no nothing. And definitely don't 80s sex pest songs like "come on Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners. XD
@@myoung4720 LITERALLYYYYY mine is like 3-4 days but I have really intense cramps and Im always in a bad mood feeling miserable so its like literally the worst even for that short time
You dislike my v*deos? Are you just a h8er boi? I say see you l8er boi. Don't watch my stuff anymore. Your dislikes are damaging my good reputation. I am a superstar, dear julia
Can we appreciate : 1. The women in this video, who are really open and sympathetic 2. The creative team : the music and the colors are just so prettyyy, wow, it's a beautiful video, regarding aesthetics but also the subject ! Thanks Jubilee !
It’s honestly sad that in our society this topic is so vital yet it is overlooked and very much so, there’s stigma surrounding it. Given that the person who was a victim of rape is often blamed. Man or woman, boy or girl. No one deserves to go through that and then be unable to get help because of how they’ll be viewed and what people will say. We need to do better. Sex crimes shouldn’t be quieted. Every victim deserves to be heard, not blamed and every culprit deserves to be punished and educated. We need to do better. This is an important topic. When that lady with black hair talked about coercion and having been a victim and not even knowing it back then. I felt for her. They don’t teach us these things. It’s sad to think that many may have normalized it.
@@Bellyndaakaeme Nowadays, the majority of people acknowledge rape and feel we should do something about silenced victims, however the perpetrators of the rape themselves are the ones shaming and blaming. People just need to do a better job raising their children. I'm male, but somewhat a feminist and in all honesty can see myself thinking differently and possibly even being a sexual offender had I not it jammed into my head the dangers of thoughts like those. Sex offenders are results of things, and society.
@@chickofmusic001 not all men are like that but just because a guy (guy thot)is sleeping around doesn’t make him morally good, sleeping with multiple people is not good in general for both men or women
A lot of guys are ignorant about female sexuality....but who can blame them. They aren't women, and to expect them to think like women is just as asinine as men expecting women to think like men. Once you figure that out, and how much of the brain is actually involved in sex, it becomes easier to figure out what women want.
@@supermodelwannabe no, it's mostly because women choose guys who are bad for them because they feel attracted to a "bad guy". If you choose a nice normal guy he would never shame you for that.
I think the bigger issue is men NOT being ashamed that they can't last more than 2 min. At least we can actually last longer than it takes for a hot pocket to heat up in the microwave. i'm only talking about weak, loser men btw. not real men.
Assault is another thing that can be easily missed and disregarded as one’s fault. Not only for women, but for men too. In fact, a better name for sex is intimacy. You should never feel like it’s your “duty” to please him/her, both should always have their voice heard. It can be an amazing tool to bond with your significant other. It’s a precious thing that shouldn’t be thrown around, especially without your consent.
What I plan on telling my children, is always assume the answer is no before their partner say yes. Meaning that their partner shouldn’t have to say no. If their partner wants to be intimate, they clearly should say yes. And this goes for both men and women. That way there should be no accidents.
My neighbour (around 70 years old) is a bee keeper and one time I (17 at the time) was there with my father. A bee started to fly around me and I started to freak out. The neighbour said "In your life you're gonna be poked by something else than a bee." And everyone around started laughing including my dad. I told my sister about that and she said that I'm too sensitive. I still don't know why we live in a society that is normalizing verbal sexual assault. That is not okay. If women can control themselves around a person they find attractive why can't men do the same?
Omg I’m so sorry that they said that. That’s not okay! If someone’s freaking out about something it’s not okay to joke about it and especially not something like THAT. I also don’t understand how people can joke about stuff like that so openly. Sure some people joke about their trauma. That’s fine cuz that’s what they’ve gone through and that might be their coping mechanism. But just joking about it?? Nah.
I’m in my mid 30s and through work interact with a lot of divorced women in their 50s 60s 70s. When they tell me I should be a model they are most definitely making a pass and rather than make an issue out of it we just have a laugh about it. At 17 you are making yourself out to be far more vulnerable in that situation than you actually are at face value.
As a straight virgin woman, I really need this. Thank you Jubilee, people don't really talk about sex experience around me, even the people who I close too
@@RedMisfit I mean I can appreciate a beautiful or talented or smart women when I see one but never more than that. I live in a place where I don't have any influence to be a part of lgbtq and I don't even have any desire towards women no matter how bad men are so yeah 😂
@@apocalypse_____ The pain level varies from one person to another, it's normal that we worry when we're not certain how bad it could've gotten, most of us have had some pretty awful experiences.. Personally before I started taking the pill I had to miss days of school everytime, there was fainting, vomiting, cramps so bad I couldn't move, it was horrible, so of course hearing about someone who's had them for a year would horrify me, and I assume it's the same for the person who commented this. Don't be mean
@@apocalypse_____ don't be a dumbass. Everyone has different levels of period pains but I'm sure even you can atleast imagine how horrible it would be if you bleeded every single day for an entire year
@@tanktopthief6094 I think the point is to make a space for trans people to discuss their experiences. They no doubt have unique experiences, that’s all.
@@perple9534 and that's why they need to learn. You can't except someone to act mature about a subject when they don't even have enough knowledge about it.
I’m 14 and not tryna do anything (“it”) yet but my mom tells me not to do it and makes it sound horrible like it’s a bad thing.. I’m a teen who now gets, THOSE feelings but because with what I’ve been taught, I always feel guilty for having those feelings.. What do I do? Sorry if I just ranted but I was looking for a comment like yours.
@@sophiaa7721 It's not really my place to tell someone what to do but I guess be smart, try to keep yourself well informed and make your own decisions. Parents are human beings, they're not always right. Use your head and don't get affected by people's opinions.
Omg you’re gonna look amazing!! Don’t stress, everyone who shaves their head looks so ethereal and bougie, and if you choose to grow your hair back it’ll be so healthy💜💜
When the girl talked about the feeling like you couldn’t be with other partners after your first time I felt that omg, after my first time I felt like I had lost a part of me because we are thought to reserve it to the one, when in my reality I dont believe in the one I dont wanna get married a virgin, so I did but I still felt like I did something wrong and men wouldn’t accept me because I was not a virgin anymore :c
As a recently divorced man whose only sexual partner was his wife, I can relate. It hurts to move on, like I'm being unfaithful even though I know our relationship is over.
I wanna say thank you Jubilee for giving us all such a wonderful opportunity to think and talk about this sensitive subject, which is hard to mention even among closest friends. Kudos to all those women also!
Rape is such a sensitive topic for everyone. I feel like that word triggers a lot of negative memories in people of being touched and used. (Including me) It's a huge problem in the world and overlooking it or making fun of it is in no way alright. Everyone is talking about how they went silent and I could totally relate to them.
i see these rape "fantasies" online everywhere and they say they don't condone that type of abuse in real life but it still seems wrong because their content is triggering. i reported their content/them and they guilt tripped me, rape isn't something to "fantasize" about and putting that stuff out online without trigger warnings is just, sick. it's a sensitive subject and the fact that people look at women as objects and in that way is just emotionally saddening. sorry i had to let that out, whoever read this have a great day!!
@@Neha-zc4yq oh I so understand you. There are people who write comics where the guy forces himself on the girl and people just normalise it anyway. It's disgusting and I hate it
I’m a teenager and I’m watching this- my school does NOT teach us about anything. So I rely on RU-vid videos and my own research, I’m glad hormones or being h0rny is ok and normal. Also when the question about rape or assault came up and their faces fell it made my heart break 💔 and I also agree on that none of this is shameful, it’s a normal part of life and school should really talk more about it.
i feel you! mine sex ed was basically "dont have sex" both from my school and my family... had to figure it all out when there wasnt even a youtube :') you're right it's definitely normal to talk about it to make sure everyone is safe and healthy! its a part of life! haha
bruh i cried... I didn’t know this whole “coercion” thing was a thing. I was pressured by my ex to have sex, and for so long he would guilt trip me or get mad at me when I said no so eventually I said yes (YES i said no FREQUENTLY before finally admitting yes because I couldn’t take the mental war and verbal pressure he gave me anymore). Like, I knew something felt strange and wrong about the whole thing, but just couldn’t grasp my hand around the situation. I wish other people knew the signs and doesn’t have to go what me and the long brunette haired girl through.
It depends. If it's just persuasion that's not coercion. If there's threats/fear that's coercion. I say that because it's important to distinguish and not lump everything together. Either way, it sounds like a really bad experience :( things don't have to be r@pe to be bad experiences.
@@Luxembourgish coercion isn't dependent on evoking a fearful reaction. You can be coerced by just the idea of being tired of them asking or just getting mentally worn down to the point that you just want to keep them happy for the time being so they don't get mad or upset with you. You have no right to tell someone that they didn't get coerced. Just because they said yes in the end doesn't mean they actually wanted to, and consent is literally based on the idea of WANTING to. So yes, she did get coerced, and no, coercion doesn't mean you have to be afraid of saying no. I got coerced into oral sex by a family member when we were both very young (elementary school age), and all it took was them saying "please" and pulling me into the bed, and I was way too young to even know the whole "no is no, it's okay to say no" rule because I guess nobody could've seen it coming, but if I'd known it at that age, I wouldn't have, and I would've told my parents. I wasn't afraid of that family member, not even in the slightest, but you cannot tell me that wasn't coercion just because I didn't get threatened or wasn't afraid. Oh, and persuasion is coercion if the other person doesn't want to do it but does anyway. Don't make the mistake of invalidating other people's rape/molestation experiences.
After 24 years I finally gave it a chance with someone, I really wanted it, but it hurt so bad we could not go through with it til the end, I felt like some other things should have happened, and he made me feel so bad about the experience because he was not as careful, attentive and caring as I wanted someone to be. I feel so bad everytime I think about it and it will take me a lot to trust someone again due to my fear they will never prioritize my needs. 😓
Ok this is why I don't google my symptoms. I was itching all over my body one night I thought it was bed bugs or even worse, googled it and it said skin cancer andd turns out it was a skin allergy when I went to the dermatologist 😶
I am a bisexual virgin woman, and this video was honestly made me rlly sad but also comforting, Im very scared abt having my first time with someone who might leave me, seriously,,, I really want to be with someone who loves me and will stay with me,,,
Hello! I am also a bi woman. Not a virgin anymore but the person I "lost"(don't like saying lose cuz you don't lose anything if anything you GAIN experience) it to was my first relationship. They ended up leaving me but oh my that was honestly the best that could happen. Don't misunderstand that relationship was the most amazing experience of my life at that point. I think you shouldn't fear losing things in life because even if you'd lose someone you love you gain so much more! Even if you don't end up with your first person they teach you so much about what you want in a partner and yourself! However if it's still a big fear of yours to end up in a relationship that doesn't last then my biggest tip is be friends with them first and reaaally get to know them well and BE YOURSELF. Nothing holds better than a solid friendship before a relationship, just be sure that you aren't overlooking something about them because of love. That happens a lot! Remember you deserve to be treated well and the person you're with should deserve that too! If you have any questions I am open to try and help :)
@Hacker Jonathan most lesbians don't actually care about what their partner looks like. some lesbians are more masculine so they look for feminine partners and vice versa but most of us just want someone we find attractive and have a "connection" (couldn't find a better word) with
I'm so happy this video included girls who haven't had "the big O" yet. I wasn't able to orgasm for a really long time when I first started having sex and I honestly felt like I was broken and that it was never going to happen, which just made it harder and harder to actually do it. It's nice knowing I'm not alone. Thank you Jubilee.
the question about assult/rape made me cry. as someone whos gone through styff like that i know how it feels and it sucks. i really needed that cry and im thankful i saw this
the first girl who spoke about her first time having sex in the rape or assault question is 100% how it went down for me and its very shocking but comforting to realize how I feel is validated and that it was a form assault. I struggle with it from time to time and her speaking her experience made me feel better that I'm not crazy... so thank you
I wanna say this for all the girls reading the comments, if you’re with a significant other or someone you’re very close with, and your pressured into doing something you didn’t want to, it’s assault. Don’t feel that since you’re close to them it’s okay, because it’s not. No matter if you just met the person, been dating for 4 years, or been best friends for 12. Consent is CONSENT!
@@weltlos What do you mean and thus must have wanted it? It doesn't matter if you are "with" someone or like them, if a person feels that they are pressured and don't want to go forward they DESERVE respect. It is NEVER okay to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do.
@@files2653 Well, respect is a subjective thing and the idea of who deserves what as well. It may work for you, but not for everyone. So take that out of the equation. And I don't agree with you when you say that it is never okay to pressure someone. Take the typical example: there is a son whose mother is a heavy smoker and is going to die in the near future if she doesn't stop. The son asking her more than once to stop this etc. is absolutely okay in my view and it should be in other's as well.
@@weltlos They are very clearly talking about pressuring someone into sex or a sexual act. No one, absolutely NO ONE should be pressured into having sex or performing a sexual act - that is assault/rape/coercion. Everyone deserves to have their wishes - whether they want sex or not - respected. If you honestly believe that not everyone deserves to have respect regarding sex then please, please, do some research on consent.
My experience with birth control effects actually helped lessen my extremely painful periods when I was younger. It was so bad I skipped a ton of school because I could barely walk, then a nurse suggested that the pill would help and suddenly I could function like a normal human being. It was an absolute lifesaver. Although, I eventually got the injection and it had the opposite effect. I definitely felt far more sick.
Schools also need to teach how to print with an Epson printer, because I got one as a present but I was never told how I can use it. It would be really helpful information.
I’ve never had sex but I can really resonate with the 4th girl who talks about the emotional side of it. I even feel like flirting just feels so wrong. Every time I get close to talk of sex it’s like I just back away. I know it comes from a place of shame but I just can’t help it.
omg - I'm guessing that this has been said by now countless times, but I really appreciate all of this to be completely honest, because my folks or school never taught me this or explained these things that I can relate to, and I'm in my 20s now, so a big thank you ...
That rape/assault question at the end changed the whole vibe of the video! I hate that this happens to all ages even as early as Middle School. I was a School bus driver and I overheard one of my students described being raped by her then "first" bf.
It was so funny the girl talking about how she was infatuated with a girl but just wanted to look like her haha when I was younger there were so many girls I thought I wanted to look like but ended up actually wanting to be with 😂
You know? I've had girlfriends who wanted to become sexual. I have also had girlfriends who just wanted to hold hands and kiss. I just love my memories, and I am still like that! Not too long ago, a cute girl ran up to me and she started holding my hand. I just sat there and let her do it. I have never took anything into the next level unless she wanted to go there, and I really am still like that to this very day. I'm not going to harass any female, but I will tell you all that I do love you all. That's it!
@@Cryboutet @Friend I'm saying PLEASE change that rock and roll symbol. It means curse. I'm down with you not wanting to get old and die. If I had my way, you never would. Please change that sign to the one with three fingers extended. Oh, and I HATE masturbationn too. I don't really like my male hand going down there. I only do it because the memories of all those girls I used to squirt come back and it's the only way I can keep it under control EVERYTHING about males is gross, but girl anatomy is beautiful. That's all I'm saying baby. Peace.❤
I am a guy so....... POV: At 1:46 "When you really have the urge to go to the bathroom"😮 ok so far so good "That relief" 😯yes maybe I can imagine that. "Except it the reverse" 🤨😑 what the fuck, now I can't imagine anything.
Think it’s like, the pressure of having to go. So you have relief and nothing before, but when it’s in, you have this pressure like you gotta go. The pickle one was good. It’s basically just constrictive...I mean you gotta imagine it’s not spacious
They NEED to talk about coersive control and respect in relationships with teenagers. It plays a huge part in abusive relationships and can have long lasting damage on a person's psyche.
realizing the different levels of sexual assault and coercion took me a long time and it is so important...everything that makes you feel uncomfortable is serious. I had an experience with someone i knew and trusted where he wanted to have sex without a condom and i must have said no about 15 times but he kept pushing and pleading and i honestly felt so powerless. I was visiting him in another country(i was visiting some other friends as well but different cities), he had been so sweet showing me around and introducing me to his friends and family that i didnt know what to do. I ended up giving in more than once and i remember going to the bathroom and crying and feeling so ashamed afterwards because i really didnt want to do this. The only good thing that came out of it is that i now know how to be in control and put a stop to situations like these.
When you realize all you have is the option of being attracted to the masculine sex you know that it will be more difficult to find a sensitive and enlightened partner or one that thinks as similarly as fellow women tend to because the influence of societal gender roles and the more you go and date men the more difficult it is to come to terms with liking men and the unique challenges that may come with that all it entails and if you aren’t with a healthy masculine man it sucks but it’s hard to find one at least this is why it can be hard for me to come to terms with being a straight female personally Even though you aren’t marginalized or looked down on as much as a straight it doesn’t mean being straight is simple to deal with Hope that helps
I kind of had the same experience as the girl, I wasn’t ready for my first time. I’m still not quite over it and it helps to see there’s someone with a similar experience
The question about sexual assault made me start crying because I’ve asked myself that question so many times, and sometimes still do. Glad I’m not alone.
Thank god I'm not the only one....because my first time didnt hurt at all & there wasn't any bleeding. I thought I was weird for my first time being like that aha. 😅
@ Recce a Dillon Some people find it hurts because they have vaginismus or endometriosis. There’s many other reasons too like general discomfort. Hope that answers your question.
For a guy like me, this is very educational. You really get a understanding of how imortant it is to understand a women. Love the video guys! This is a topic no one really talks about but you guys killed it!
my health class was terrible, my teacher was pregnant and left the school for months, we literally played board games till the end of the year and I never got proper education on sex Ed
I saw the sexual assault question coming and it hurt but at no point was I ready for the girl who spoke about her story to have such a similar situation to me. I never knew how to feel about it and it’s almost a relief to know I’m not the only one.
I always thought so, but watching this video, I felt that it was important to properly learn and understand the depth of the concept of "consent." I want everyone to know that it's an act that shouldn't be forced.
I’m soo happy that this video didn’t cut out the part where the girl talked about coercion because that is something that I struggled with and many of my friends around me went through. At first I thought I was alone, being sensitive, or it was my fault, but years later I learned that this was almost common, and as unfortunate as it is, a lot of women can share similar experiences. So to the women like me, you’re not alone, you are a victim, and it was not your fault! ❤️
