What It Feels Like To Be In the Freeze Survival Response - Hope For Repair and Rewiring 

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56 years in freeze. It’s been years since I’ve been under that threat but it’s always there because I was in danger for a really long time, like a cheap paint job-scratch the surface and there it is.

If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, here’s what she said: when you go in to the freeze response, just let it happen rather than fight it. She found that if she did that she came out of it more quickly.

You are the first person to EVER put into words how it feels for me. My Dr says that the heaviness is depression but I don't think it is. You hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you. I look forward to listening to more of your videos.

That sense of isolation and not interacting in groups, for me is also coupled with tremendous sense of nervousness, fear of my peers, due to severe shaming and bullying from my childhood

My physical hatha yoga and pranayam practice (which took me a LONG time to commit to) was the first thing that took me out of what I called my 'catatonic' depression. This was more than 25 years ago, and because of them, I've never gone that frozen. I just never knew that it was the freeze response to trauma, which was exactly what i was going through. It's so good to hear this as this is my trauma response, and i still deal with it. This helps take away the shame and gives hope. You are a gift to me. Thank you 🙏

I feel like I have been in this state for a year or so. I am frozen mentally and physically I believe. I read all the books, watch all the videos and I am well aware of all the ways I am supposed to help myself to feel better BUT I cannot execute anything I have learned. I don't have any support or family members or a spouse. I am divorced, 50, still raising teenagers and feel flatlined and overwhelmed by any life skill or task I am responsible for doing. I procrastinate everything , paying bills, phone correspondence, even daily showering.....I don't know what to do anymore.

This basically sounds like what it feels like as an autistic person masking. This is very similar to how it feels. I am only relaxed/authentic when I am alone or with my best friend. With all other social interactions I feel just how you describe. Except there is a very powerful constant fear/vigilance the whole time I am forced to be socially interacting. This is why I prefer to just be alone or with animals.

HI Aimie, I spent most of my childhood in the freeze state and as an adult I have been struggling with fatigue a lot. I used to feel so paralyzed in life and would often go into periods of ‘I dont care’ or ‘I give up’ states. I thought feeling like this was normal, until I stared uncovering my childhood traumas. Thank you for sharing. Much love!

I'm in the freeze response daily at least half the day. I do so much therapy, I hope I can heal. Thanks for this video, making me feel less lonely

Basically, youre learning to accept and love the traumatised parts of you that are in freeze. Im learning this too -- thank you for sharing.

thank you, this is me. I can’t seem to change it, I’m all alone with no support, have lost relationships and my ‘sensitivities’ get on people’s nerves. I don’t want to live,

When I go into freeze, which is 95% of every waking hour, I also have this strong shame component where I feel like a monster. When people look at me I can see them react to my shell shocked face with their own fear and people pretty much avoid me. I’m working on it but it’s pretty difficult. I have been unable to hold down a job and I’m pretty much homeless now. I’m glad you are getting better, that gives me hope.

At 65 and after years of inner work I realized I had trauma early in life (with no specific memories of them) and that since then, my coping mechanism has been the freeze response. A couple of years ago it escalated to a collapse/shut down episode that was terrifying. After recognizing what was happening and learning to work with these reactions, I have made tremendous progress and feel more alive and energetic than ever before. Thank you for this video, it always feels good and is helpful to learn that we're not the only ones dealing with this and that there are ways to grow through these states and behaviors.

thank you so, so much. you have described it perfectly well. i belive i've been in freeze for the past 7 years, which basically stole my teen years. i am recovering today, trying to get my life back❤️

Thank you thank you thank you! Was diagnosed 30 yrs ago with CFS & have suffered sooo many years! Have addressed all the medical but with no relief! I now understand the freeze response thanks to the 21 day journey. You have given me hope...finally...to have a life!

Thank you so much for talking about fatigue & trauma! I've had so many doctors tell me there's nothing wrong with me yet these fatigue episodes have been debilitating

I have been in a freez mode for a long time, And I feel isolated.

This video is almost serendipitous for me. Your episodes you were talking about is me all over. Ill go into total shutdown and completely dissociate and cant function for a couple of weeks. It would scare the crap out of me. But since i finally became more aware of what was going on with me in my body its so much easier to catch it and be able to come out of it! Im really excited about it as well

If I give in to it, I will be on the sofa for months on end. I wish I knew how to overcome freeze.

I have been trying to fix myself the last 40 years. It seems like I'm back in undergrad studies, doing iterations in quantitative analytical chemistry. We would get one answer, plug it back into the original equation, get a closer answer, plug it back in, until we came up with the closest practical answer that we could live with. I started with some pretty far out answers, and it's exciting to be getting this close to an answer I can live with. Dr Apigian describes the freeze response better than anyone I've ever heard, even though my body does a few different things with it. I can't wait to dig more into what she has to say, and see where this iteration leads me.

I had my first extended experience of "freeze" during my Somatic Experiencing training. We were going through the pandemic, my mother had died, I felt very isolated where I was living and was having to 'stay strong' for my son, bereaved father and my clients. My experience of freeze manifested physically - brain fog, exhaustion, lack of drive and motivation and a literally frozen shoulder. When I was finally in a place where I felt supported and safe - ie during and after the training - I was able to slowly and consistently embody my experience of grief, loss and isolation and return to far greater vitality and strength. I'm so grateful to this body of work and what it's doing for me, my clients and family.

Thank you so much for being real with your freeze response. During my childhood Trauma / s abuse I froze. Never new what it was till 50 yrs later. Now I can face it and realize I have triggers and can learn why I feel so bad after. What you described, I now know why my body aches and pains come on. I’m going to learn more about this condition and look to get better. Learn and practice tools I learn to get me out sooner.

Thank you Dr Aimie, Fascinating. I'm from the 1970s and we just didn't do any of this healing stuff then:) You just got on with it. I'm not quite sure how, but we did. At what cost, I am not sure. I remember so vividly the aftermath of having to attend big social occasions, at which I would feel as though a real, physical vice gripped the back of my head; and everything felt very dream-like and distant. I like people but it would leave me feeling out of it and exhausted for a long time afterwards. Certainly in Britain the most often told lie in English is "I'm fine". You and Carly Jones are doing a vital job of helping people articulate how they are feeling and what they need in terms of transition times and realistic expectations without constantly having to apologise. Thank you, warmest regards, Karen

Yea, I found relaxing into and accepting that s.ui.cde was going to happen, a strange but enough of a 'releif' feeling that gave a form of hope. Not an approach recommended to anyone lol. But that, allowing and accepting the response and seeing how one is, I've found has been good in other circumstances also. It's like, so much work and processing needs to happen prior to, 'exposure therapy' of situations that the brain think is similar but is actually quite different, in order to learn that these other situations are safe, and can be explored without the need for being as cautious, and get to enjoy all of the colour that the situation has to offer. With a few setbacks prior, I'm close to rehaving this currently. Life is good. It's good to be here.

Someone who talks my language! I'm working with clients and teaching practitioners on the association of emotional trauma (particularly attachment trauma) and CFS/ME. Thank you for your information, it's so needed.

I never heard anyone explain it this way!

This is interesting stuff to me. My dad was severely mentally ill when I was growing up and when I went to stay at his house I would feel sleepy and have to go to bed during the day.This explains it well.Thanks!

My heart breaks for how you share your experience. Having seen you on video today and here three years or so ago this is testimony to the work you have done. You describe this so well. It’s how I feel. You have done so much to explain my own symptoms. I am now taking greater care of myself. I’ve stopped driving myself through the stop light of life. My override button doesn’t work any more. I have to stop. It helps. I’m learning and I too have noticed that I’m not ‘knocked out’ for quite as long as I used to be. It’s a difficult thing when your mind has deadlines and you’re not achieving quite what you want in life as fast as you’d like it but this is important work. An investment in the future. Thank you.

Thank you for the wisdom of talking when you're experiencing it. That must have been a challenge to put yourself on display like that. It was so helpful to see because there are so many things about this that just have to be observed and I can see it clearly that you were experiencing it at the time. That is so validating and insightful, and I'm so grateful to you for doing that. I've lived my whole life in freeze mode. I started saying, "I don't care" to just about everything in life when I was about 6 and I never knew why.

I slept for a week completely exhausted. Slowly one day at a time I began to go outside and begin my routine again. Thanks for your explanation of your experience. It helps.

Waow! thank you so much for clarifying as this is so important for everyone to be aware! I am glad you are better and hopefully me too one day I will get out of big trauma chronic responses in which I have been stuck since childhood. You bring big info and hope in this world! Take care 🙏🏼✨️ Lucy

I am just learning about the freeze response and past trauma. I am so grateful to you for so eloquently putting your experience and wisdom into this video. I thought I was the only one with those symptoms. I too have been dealing with debilitating fatigue, and when the fatigue hits so does depression. I have exhausted the medical route, as they tell me there's nothing wrong with me and then treat me with antidepressants, which make it worse. I have also worked with numerous nutritional and functional medicine doctors, with limited success. Thank you for helping me find the missing pieces.

Thanks for sharing. Invaluable ❤️ For the past two weeks I have been in this dissociative state, and I'm learning how to discharge this energy. I guess like you said, just let our body fully sink into and let it naturally ride through the full cycle.

i went through a horrible time after my dad died, when my mom was taken by my brother & isolated, with dementia, against her will, & her condition never addressed (so he could manipulate her for her & dads money) When she was so far gone they let me visit periodically & after each visit, only a couple hours allowed, and 3 hours of driving involved, i’d be unable to do anything when i returned and often collapsed in bed for a couple days. It was such a time suck, as well as an emotional & physical drain. I can see similar reactions to other trauma triggers. Thanks for sharing ❤

Have been in this for years off and on. Lately it seems to be here to stay. Haven't done the dishes in two weeks. No clean clothes to wear. I work, then crash on the couch with nothing left. Don't see an end in sight. Can't stop shaming myself for it.

A nervous response to a trigger... I can relate to having stopped caring, being in so great a pain as to stop moving. Fearing to move for fear of feeling...of remembering the feeling of feeling it. That must be the way to thawing 😊

For years I have been searching for something/someone that can teach me all the essential things I need to know when healing trauma and I have found it here, all in one place, in your modules. Thank you, the world needs more of this ❤

I have been suffering from fatigue for over 25 years I tried every diet and medications But this makes a lot of sense Because sometimes a single sentence can send me into a spiral of fatigue and depression Your videos are very insightful

Very interesting. Suffering from CFS for 2 years. Am just now understanding how past traumas are still driving my nervous system disregulation. Thank you!

I call these crashes and your video helped me so much in seeing why I will crash at times! Thank you!

Thank you for sharing! So true!

Thank you for sharing your experience and message of hope. Keep up the good work! 💖

Hi Dr.Aimie,I can relate to all you are talking about in this video as I can feel something that is like something that happened to me relating to all of it that really happened,and now it”s like addictive,and it”s become accepting,and the symptoms you describe are the same that I had,and now I get triggered not knowing where it”s coming from,and it”s almost like addicting,and won”t never go away as I can”t let go of it all,and a lot of it relates to a great amount of complex traumas that I suffer from,thank you for your videos,love Denny😘🙏⭐️and🌙🧡🦋

Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity to share Dr. Aimie!

Thank you so much. You described how I feel to the tee. This explains so much. I’ve struggled through this my whole life. I’m feeling hopeful ❤

Thanks a lot for sharing your experience with fatigue. Bless you

Thanks for this video Dr. Aimee. This is really helpful and appreciate your sharing your own experience. I can relate to freeze as a default response.

thank you so much dr aimie. it was so interesting to hear someone describe my experience objectively and in a way that makes sense. i really appreciate your video.

Thank you for your honesty. It always helps to know you’re not alone on feeling this way. I realize this was 5 years ago and I’ve listened to your more recent stuff too. The journey feels sooo long sometimes.

Thanks for sharing these ideas! Like always, RU-vid seems to suggest what we really need to watch even without searching.

Excellent insight dr. Aimie - thank you for sharing 🙏💖

Thanks you for sharing your personal journey, valuable information. You give all of us hope for a healthy happy future. Much gratitude.

Dr. Aimee, thank you so very much for sharing your story as so many Med Pro's do not but I find it helpful & relatable. I'm finding with each of your vlogs I am gaining so much more ground for healing that cannot be gotten from the current medical/mental health system, which I find terribly tragic for those suffering daily. A thousand thank you's for your wonderful works, please never stop! You give so much hope!

Great advice here. It’s taken me a long time to put these pieces together. I finally can see the mood symptoms connected to the thoughts and physical fatigue and take a time out as you describe and come out of it much more quickly. Pushing it away only makes it worse. Sometimes it’s as simple as gently moving outdoors or to a sunny window to let my body connect with nature. Thanks Dr A

Thank you, Dr Aimie! Beautiful share! I feel blessed to have come into contact with you through your Summit and ..I am still interested in participating in your 21 day : tools to come out of overwhelm and stress. Love ❤️ what you have done to heal and shine your Light for others ✨️

Thanks for sharing, so helpful!

You strong and thanks for the share

Thank you, this has helped me understand something that I could not quite grasp. All the best

This lady is smart! Definitely a blessing. Wow.

Thank you so much for being authentic and sharing your own experience. I highly appreciate it and it helped me, too. Love. 💛

I appreciate this vulnerable share

Hi Aimie, I really like your channel, it helps a lot. In regards of these responses I have the same experience with the responses of my neuro system. Also such as autistic burn-out or shut down, panic attacks etc. I found that method studying various spiritual teachers. And through all my various studies I found that knowledge of "what you resist (or fight agains), that grows stronger". And also advice to never suppress emotions (even strong emotions and emotional responses) trying to "make it better", but rather let it go "through you"... And so I started to apply it some years ago and found out it really works! Exactly as you describe - it just heals quicker, it goes away much faster. Even for the panic attacks :) Thank you very much for what you doing! Thanks to you I found out I first need to allow myself to feel safe and supported. Now I am slowly going through more your videos. ❤🙏

Thank you Dr. Aimie. That was really helpful. Your Videos provide such a resource in times of freeze and shut down. I am slowly learning to adjust. But the freeze and the pain feel so overwhelming and bad sometimes. Best regards ❤from Bavaria

Thank you

This information is so incredibly valuable to me, thank you.

This helps SO MUCH. Thank you for these insights, this share. So much.💗

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Now I have a good idea on how I can respond to those moments of overwhelm. I've been learning a lot about the stress response and our window of tolerance which has helped me understand what is happening to me. But your experience is what truly gives me hope for myself. Thank you so much!

I relate, you dont hear this too often. Thank you.

Much gratitude to you Dr Aimie. You are amazing.sharing your personal journey. Changing life se. Brilliant explanation. I have just moved house. I am in this place right now.much love ❤

Wow this video is so helpful! Thank you for talking about this. I experience this and it takes 4 days for me to get out of it. Anti inflammatory food like tummeric greens and beetroot and olive oil help me. x

Omg I have been in this state and behaviour, for years and I’m so good to hide it, most people like you said, can’t tell.

Thanks💌

NOW I KNOW .... thank you!!!

The way i just have discorver about getting over a freeze response is: let our body rest. Including soothing the body. I found out that when i get flashback, the body get so tensed up that i can’t even sleep well. The tension stored in the body without me realizing. And I get mind fog, fatigue faster than normal. Our body won’t calm down naturally like healthy people. So we have to actively release the stress out of the body. And leting go completely, ease the body completely. Also, mindfulness works wonders. By staying in the complete present, the brain will stop feeling in danger, we get grounded and can work on relaxing the body. Hope this helps.

Love hearing your connected awareness amidst triggering! I too found a fast track out of the reactivity guided by Gabor’s list of 8 keys to managing & healing. My best is that - Shame us never appropriate & based on old familial lessons within the parents trauma. And knowing I’m not them or what they passed on but unique, a learner, curiously & actively seeking healing so to heal but also to hold deep love for me! Gosh we are growing well despite those decades of dread & horrors. ❤

❤😊❤ *** Please keep 🙏 Going Forward * & it will All Fall Into 🙏 Place * for you one ❤ 😊 day!

Thank you Dr Aimie🙏🏼♥️ Do you work one on one with people?

Wow I’m having a major “aha” moment! I go into this state when I’m overwhelmed by my people pleasing efforts. It’s absolutely debilitating. I’ve often described it as paralysis. Then I’m extremely depressed and tired for days. I’m now wondering if episodic depression is the freeze response for more than just me! This is very helpful to know that if you allow it, it dissipates. Kind of like emotions when I’m meditating. Thank you!

triggers for me are anticipated conflict, and then if the conflict actually occurs, I feel really defensive and wrong. I dislike conflict and have trouble calmly explaining or defending my position.

👍👍👍 thank you so much....

You explained this so well. I have been living mostly in a freeze response for 15 years. I have suffered greatly, constantly seeking answers and new therapy models. I would find temporary relief, but the unhealed trauma would always circle back with a vengeance. However, I just started Accelerated Resolution Therapy about 2 weeks ago and I'm Amazed at the relief I'm starting to finally feel. In this moment, I feel hopeful more so then I think I ever have. Thank you for this video. I look forward to hearing more of your content.

Thank you Dr.Aimie , it‘s so helpful

my freeze after shock looks like a physical coma, lay down, can't move, sleep shutdown, very cold. help

Before my holiday which is a big one. I was waiting for someone to dot something a while afternoon and they didn't come until the evening to help me with that thing. I was in freeze mode for a few hours until they came. I could not do anything else until they came. Ive been doing dbt for. 2 years. I just couldn't practice any skills the anxiety of not getting the thing done was overwhelming. But once they came I was able to snap out of it.

You describe a state I'm always in... At least for the last 5 years, last year worse

Thank youuuuuu for this.

Thank you for explaining so well the freeze and fatigue episodes which I can totally relate to, my fatigue is caused by chronic pain from the neck bone spurs, mainly a physical condition, in addition to other life situation stressors, i wonder if your condition involves or is also triggered or caused by an obvious physical factor? Thank you for taking the time to respond!❤

I have always felt defective for being so tired. Before I had children, I would lie in bed for days at a time, only getting up to go to work. I sometimes would sleep for 18 hours a day. Now I have children, I cannot do that. But I wish I could sometimes.

I always knew there was so much wrong with me and hate myself when I go into freeze and can’t explain to ppl 😭

I feel like I have lived in “freeze and fatigue” so about 40 years 😢

Trauma caused this to hurt her. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you all a hug. I love you.

I have major fatigue associated with trauma and anxiety. Life is devastating with events triggered by tragedy and I am in freeze response associated with religious gaslighting

The way you said you can’t have authentic conversations with people I feel exactly the same way. Also how do you know if your fighting it or not?

B12

That was very helpful period now I understand what I have been going through. Is it common for it to go on for a year or more after 2 years of constant stress?

I have childhood trauma from relinquishment and adoption, and my adoptive mother, whom I loved very dearly (she is now gone), would call me "lazy". But it wasn't that I didn't want to be productive. I know now that I was in the "freeze" response. This is my response whenever I feel afraid or threatened. I don't fight and I don't flee. I just freeze, cannot think of a single thing to say until hours later when I've been away from the situation and can thing of a gazillion helpful responses I could have said... And I've suffered far too many blows in these past ten years. In the past 4 years, I've lost my parents, my birthmother, my parents-in-law, two aunts, an uncle, and our family dog. My child has come out as a transman and is about to have gender-confirming surgery. Has been on testosterone for months and his voice is now permanently altered from the exquisitely clear, sweet soprano voice I'm accustomed to hearing. Parents have to grieve when their child comes out as trans - it doesn't mean we are bigots. It means dealing with the loss of the future we thought we would have, with the potential loss the dream of becoming grandparents, the loss of the name we selected with such great love and care. My therapist, who fully endorses queer theory, tells me it is necessary for me to grieve, but not to tell my child about it. We love & support our trans child fully and are going to be there (flying across teh country) for his surgery in support of his own dreams. My birthmother died while still rejecting reunion, never having heard my voice nor seen me since the day of my birth. At the time I learned of her death, I was composing a last-ditch-effort letter to her with the aid of my therapist. I haven't had a lick of energy for these four years. I stopped my career, which requires in-person work, when Covid hit, and haven't worked a day since. My adoptive mother died a wretched, traumatic (to me) death of Covid and I cannot unsee what I saw nor unhear what I heard in her efforts to get some amount of breath into her lungs. I don't know how to get out of this freeze response, but I think it will require more than just talk therapy and sitting still with my eyes closed. Thank you for sharing about this and I will definitely remember it for when I'm finally healed of all this and my freeze responses may be more temporary in nature.

After a triggering event, I get disassociated, my body is heavy and aches. Some of my abuse was physical. I always thought it was body memories of abuse. Idk.

Any important deadline causes me to freeze. For instance I've got to be strong enough to go to Thanksgiving with my family this year. I want to go so very badly. My freeze causes my already very weak body (I have Myasthenia Gravis, a totally destroyed thyroid from Hashimoto, and destroyed adrenal glands from decades of prednisone), to almost become paralyzed. I have developed this freeze thing just the last year. It's a living nightmare.

First time here. Who have you worked with helping /treating you? Or have you been able to work on your own only?Have you been having an OK social , normal life apart from it? I don't get why I haven't got help all the decades of seeking, writing applications, researchingand self-helping. With getting negligence, deception, withholding and mistreatment instead, despite being proactive, willing, gifted enough and able to contribute if given a chance. HAve you been working as a Dr meanwhile?