What's on the tapes?! - Mystery Tapes Double Feature 

I enjoyed how intensely dry and almost jaded it was

The great, late Victor Borge. I got to see him live in concert, a very long time ago.

Me too. I might have to check out Victor.

Now that I've rewatched the video specifically for that opera singer skit, I think I'm officially a fan!

Brian Stone It’s weird, i was just thinking about him today, specifically the commercial for his best of tape I saw all the time in the early 90s. In fact, this recording may be it

I can't think of Eisner without thinking of Defunctland. What a damn good show.

OMG hahah You can’t have Eisner without Defunctland

Yeah, Defunctland has made Mr. Eisner a genuine PTSD trigger for me.

"Hello, I'm Michael Eisner." Defunctland fans: *[PTSD FLASHBACKS]*

The fact that a bug's land is also gone now (very recently too) is just the cherry on top. Maybe we'll get a defunctland episode on that soon

Ok so it's not just me. Good to know.

It doesn't make me feel weird. It makes the world feel right to me.

It kinda feels like a portal to an alternate reality

yeah, real shit. I have dissociation issues as it is lol

NOW you're playing with POWER!

DragnSly That’s just what I was thinking.

Sounds like politics to me.

Gotta say something when you can't say anything of substance policy-wise like most politicians.

He's savage

A tradition that continues to this day

Mama really did have the magic that day

I remember the Clorox commercials. The music sounded a bit more calypso than Harry Belafonte did. It keep saying “Mama’s Got the Magic” over and over like a broken record. If you know Mama got her magic, as the platters would say “You got the Magic Touch”.

Wow! This is better than my version

Watching classic movie or mystery series marathons are the best way to bond with your family members at home...

@@KasumiRINA I see what you did there!

With a sponsor from Squarespace!

As a massive Defunctland fan, this made me breathe out of my nose when something’s funny on the internet.

"OH NO"

@@TigirlakaLaserwolf6 OH YEAH

You should really send that clip to Defunctland, Ian. I think he’ll like it :)

Oh, man, if only!

But then the news would be "Christopher Valentin killed some random person today. It's also cold."

Be careful. That's what the dinosaurs said.

@@1KayBilly "Awesome! Is that a shooting star? ...."

That's pretty much life in Iowa.

It makes me think of Defunctland 😅

@@robinw.8083 Him and Yesterworld both for me. But yeah, that was every Sunday night for my family and I for years. It was one of the few real small pleasures we had when I was growing up. Seeing the segments set in the parks always killed me because we could never afford it. I went once when I was 5 and then the next time I got to go was almost 30 years later.

I think the two phenomena are related; I don't think I would've cared a great deal about the CEO of the Walt Disney Company without Kevin going into the foibles of his tenure.

same

In Tim Minchin's "3 minute song" he makes a joke about how Victor Borge became such a standard for musical comedy that it not only laid the groundwork for people like him but gave him a constant point of comparison. Stilgoe and Skellern are the only other musical comedians I've seen come close to Victor Borge and Tim Minchin in terms of piano playing skills AND comedy, the sheer genius of Richard Stilgoe being able to take any 6 or 7 random things the audience shout out and write a funny rhyming song about them in the time it took Peter Skellern to play just 2 piano songs amazes me still.

Wow Ian aged fast.

Yeah! I heard he booked himself for his own funeral, and did a hell of a job

I love how it is the one comedy pianist i know

A true musical chad

Vanilla Cinnamon? I want their oatmeal as well.

jared "close-your-eyes-for-a-foot-long-surprise" fogle

@@yourdadsbbqbrisket8526 definitely more like a 6 inch

jared “if-they’re-under-3-they’re-alright-for-me” fogle

Jared “if-their-names-on-the-clock-they’re-ready-for-the-cock” Fogle

Jared "give my sub a little rub" Fogle

In Tim Minchin's "3 minute song" he makes a joke about how Victor Borge became such a standard for musical comedy that it not only laid the groundwork for people like him but gave him a constant point of comparison. Stilgoe and Skellern are the only other musical comedians I've seen come close to Victor Borge and Tim Minchin in terms of piano playing skills AND comedy, the sheer genius of Richard Stilgoe being able to take any 6 or 7 random things the audience shout out and write a funny rhyming song about them in the time it took Peter Skellern to play just 2 piano songs amazes me still.

SpaceLordof75 so Ian made another mistake?? :(

Yeah, I guess, but who’d expect only 2 world records in 52 years?!

That's wild!

Did they think the shoppers kept forgetting where they were or something?

NON STOP but damn it does make me want to go into a Menard for that lumber and tire rubber smell...

@@LEdHeadW I've never been to one but you just convinced me to go. (Once this pandemic isn't a bother...) I love those types smells.

I remember going to one a few months ago and you weren't kidding about the jingle playing it constantly.

I work in Plumbing. What’s worse is hearing “High Hopes” 5 times every fucking day

Yes

Sadly he has passed. I got lucky enough to see him live in concert before he died.

That's what I thought. I remember ads for his comedy shows on late night TV back in the 80s.

I was screaming victors name at my phone lol. Glad I’m not the only one who recognizes him.

He’s literally talking about Victor Borge in the video though, even mentioning that he died in 2000

Milkshake I yearn for those days, again. Ironically, the MAGA days have brought us, instead, into the “everything is divisive and you have to think about horrible things at all time” -era. Great time, indeed. I really can’t wait to have a day with no news.

@@rrpostalagain basically the news media has realized that the best way to attract viewers and keep them coming back is to make them scared and/or angry

O That’s nothing new. I don’t agree if you’re trying to say that they are making “fake news” or making up a global infection. What I want is a president who isn’t infatuated with being in the news and being worshipped. I don’t want to think about the president every day. It’s not a good thing.

@@rrpostalagain ah yes it's all trump's fault definitely not the predatory habits of the news media ok

O ok? That’s all you got? Incredulity? At the absolute very least, Trump has failed to unite the country and “lead” with a “plan”. You are somehow convinced that the media expecting something from the president is unfair? Personally, I can’t believe they still give him as much respect as they do.

Oh hi there, Defunctland viewer!

... and I'm Kevin Purjurer

Man, I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows who this is.

We're the same age and I watched him with my grandparents also. I still think he's great too.

I really miss him

I never heard of him before now, but he seems like a musical version of Tommy Cooper, who was similar but with magic tricks. Bill Bailey is a modern music based comedy act that is good.

This is something I had not thought about in 30 years.

In Tim Minchin's "3 minute song" he makes a joke about how Victor Borge became such a standard for musical comedy that it not only laid the groundwork for people like him but gave him a constant point of comparison. Stilgoe and Skellern are the only other musical comedians I've seen come close to Victor Borge and Tim Minchin in terms of piano playing skills AND comedy, the sheer genius of Richard Stilgoe being able to take any 6 or 7 random things the audience shout out and write a funny rhyming song about them in the time it took Peter Skellern to play just 2 piano songs amazes me still.

Not to be confused with Cream witches, my go to porn search.

And yet, I don't even recall any of those products aside from them existing. Makes you wonder how the marketing execs felt when they made great commercials that _failed to sell anything._

@@wellthismachinekills3809 ...

pigs are better than people, but should we really consider chauvinists and capitalists 'people', over smart, big hearted pigs? really makes ya think

​@@russianbot8576 "should we really consider chauvinists and capitalists 'people', over smart, big hearted pigs?" Nice post Snowball. How's the farm going?

@@warbossgegguz679 pigs are so much cuter than capitalists if you ask me.

Hardee's - e a t t h e r i c h!

​@@livly_garden But they're still people. The only thing lower than all 3 is a communist, but being fed to humans or pigs is too good of treatment. Good people have been killed and fed to pigs, and it would be an insult to the dead to do that to a communist. :)

I just wonder how the employees have to deal with that jingle all day and or night. I know they can't help it but every time I shop at Menards thats what I end up thinking the whole. Kinda distracting from shopping if you ask me. Just a regular Minnesotan passing through

R E S T O R E A L A R G E P O R T I O N O F C U R R E N C Y A T M E N A R D S

RESERVE A RATHER SIZEABLE QUANTITY OF LEGAL TENDER AT MENARDS

Every time I go there, I'm glad I'm not an employee. That jingle has got to be so annoying to hear all day.

@@bigtaste985 RESERVE A RATHER LARGE QUANTITY OF GREEN SLIPS OF PAPER USED TO PURCHASE ITEMS AT MERNARDS

I'm glad youtube exists, because a lot of that stuff would be lost to time.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

Mmm Mmm Good, not better.

I remember the snowman commercial they showed it a lot at Christmas

You just stirred up a memory that I haven't recalled in years...

@@yo-kaishopper5049 I don't feel Mmm Mmm Better

YES!! Oh my God, I always used to turn on the NC channel 46 Saturday morning cartoons- Yu-Gi-Oh was my favorite- and I remember that commercial clearly. I'd basically forgotten about it until I read this

I just tried that stuff, it’s ass.

It was recorded on a vhs of course it looks old lol

Me too...

I totally thought that debate was from the 80s

i remember the 2000s

@@romulocasas4906 I thought it was from the 90s

No.

Oh fun!

SamTheSclam that’s a great thing

Lazy game reviews

I think he actually did a cameo in one of LGR's videos. The Y2K one I think.

@@squidud yup you are right

It's actually kind of funny. Back when LGR started out, he recorded his live action stuff on a VHS Camera, then moved on to a modern one. Ian's just worked backwards, but dammit if I don't love this niche. Now Ian just needs to get his own ugly 70's plaid chair.

Chauvinist police meat apparently 🤣

Long pig is still technically pork, right?

Human, the *other* other white meat.

Ever seen Soylent Green?

Eat the rich

Classic

Character development

I'm glad you brought that contradiction up! It adds further weight to my theory of why "Ian" (as he would like us to believe) is different in so many ways from how he was years ago. Avid watchers of Mr. Moose's channel, including his Brutal Foods spinoff series, may recall a particular episode revolving around reviewing a variety of *Hungry-Man™* brand frozen TV dinners, back in 2017. _"But where are you going with this?"_ you might ask, and with good reason. Perhaps your mind went to the friendly and lovable Tiny Ian from certain Brutal Foods episodes, having discovered a way to enlarge himself to successfully impersonate (Big) Ian? Maybe, but unlikely. We've never been given reason to be suspicious of Tiny Ian. No, the real culprit is none other than *Hungry-Man™* himself! Who was it that supposedly came to the rescue by flying to Ian's apartment, when a not-hungry Ian was assaulted with frozen dinners, pleading for help? *_Hungry-Man™!_* And who was nowhere to be found for the remainder of the video as soon as that muscled, hungry "hero" arrived? _IAN!_ If you look closely enough, those gargantuan muscles are nearly bursting out of his sleeves at all times. Who else would have the might to not only lock Ian away but restrain his physique for the last few years to fool us all? It all adds up! >:(

@@allendrake6960 Allen did we just experience a manic episode?

@@EagerSleeper Don't be fooled by his incredibly muscled and insatiably hungry facade! THAT'S JUST WHAT HE WANTS! #EXPOSEHUNGRYMAN™ #FREEIAN

Fr

I get what you mean. I remember a lot of this stuff even though I was like 3

I felt the same with the video he did about VHS from 1998/1999

Zeri R. Not scientifically possible

@@dariuskikstra3994 yeah that’s what i’m tying to say

It's expensive making things pink. They might even throw in a few objects that vaguely taste like strawberries.

I find these sorts of products insulting. How dare they assume I want pink oatmeal! I want my oatmeal brown and boring like everyone elses!

Because pandering is empowering of course

I don't get the point of complaining about the "pink tax." If it's the exact same product then just buy the cheaper version?

They added soy to it...that's it. At the time, the phyto-estrogen research for soy made it seem more effective than it actually was for treating symptoms of menopause. That said...just buy regular cheap oatmeal and make it with soymilk.

We convinced some kid that it was a tab of acid and he started acting like he was tripping like an hour later.

@@HookedonChronics God I miss gullible kids. I once convinced a girl that all sparkling water was actually vodka. She started coming to school "drunk".

I did 12 once my sinuses were clear for a day(had childhood asthma lol)

I think the fact that he's wearing a MST3K shirt is perfect

Whatever happened to the EIT RU-vid channel. Any idea?

@@joelrizzo2786 It got deleted by YT but they made a new one at ru-vid.com/show-UCqTOTqDeuSBP5rSc2ov5oMw

@@secondman Thank you very, very much. Love those people. And god knows we can all use some laughs now.

the man has impeccable taste

Oh I didn't knew BASF made VHS tapes, I knew of them as they're quite present in Poland from where I am

@@moramento22 I only know them from VHS tapes and Floppy Disks. Norwegian national here.

BASF does a lot of stuff. They produce products for the chemical and automobile industry as well as stuff like VHS tapes back in the days. BASF alone holds 110,000 patents.

At BASF we don't make a lot of the things you buy, we make a lot of the things you buy better.

No wonder that tape packaging looked so familiar. Im German and I remember my mother used to buy these.Certainly a blast from the past, let me tell you

Absolutely. Victor Borge is hilarious.

Yes ! Victor Borge help ppl to love orchestra by doin the clown on scene ! It was very nice !

Loved Victor Borge for decades-he was incredibly talented. Best Of videos to be found on YT

Mama's got the magic

Yo, just found peebs in the comments? Hope ya’ll are staying safe/healthy out there

S I N G E

What is this? A crossover episode?

Same here

I don’t understand why we need our own oatmeal

@@someone___1240 because marketing

by the oatmeal logic, i want nonbinary corn flakes

I want iron in my oatmeal tho that's cool

Tlontb, the NB Ukrainian Army Ball love this.

omg lol why did kids come up with oddly specific places where food came from?? I have a similar story where a kid in 1st grade told everyone that mcdonald’s hamburgers were made of “goat brains”, and even though i eventually knew it wasn’t true i didn’t eat them for years after that just because that was what i associated them with lol

There are some 2019 and 2020 ads available on RU-vid. Aside from a modernized look, they haven't changed one bit.

Aliens..

Same banjo intro, same enthusiastic male voice, same green. Everything is there same.

@@wareforcoin5780 Even our local store, which was built in 2002 when I was 10, really hasn't changed. Heck, at some of the customer assistance desks, they still have the same CRT TVs that show who is working right now and they are so faded from running nonstop for 20 years.

Agreed, I absolutely love the way this was recorded.

And forgetting whats coming next, I had a friend over one time and i put on a tape that had the hot wheels cartoon. But kept forgetting how many other shows where on before it

The real question: does it know it exists in a body so temporary? Do living bubbles fear death??

I thought that was obvious, painfully so. How could he not see that?

@@floyd2386 Maybe because the design is too opaque. They look solid white on top, not translucent the way you'd expect a bubble to be. It took me years to see it myself for this reason. When I was a kid I just assumed that was maybe a specific design of a bathroom-cleaning brush.

I always thought it was some kind of brush you held in the palm of your hand. Kinda weird now that i think about it

@@wjdelu6758 That's what I used to think, too.

It was great but sadly it’s now been replaced with Cars land

@@maddieb.4282 Both were there when I went, so unless Cars Land moved or doubled in size you're mistaken

Damn, son, that _is_ a long jump. I'm sorry.

He is just now re-entering our atmosphere

@@ptcrusa His landing shall purge the Earth like the lizard titans before us

I feel that same way. All the best dude.

@didz13 Thanks

If you like this kind of stuff, you may be interested in RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst: Black Spine editions.

I wish I could find a comment like this that can enjoy stuff like this without having to complain about current day. Soundcloud is fun to dive into and see the random songs people come up with, youtube has so many random videos to go through... current day is just as fun and random if you know where to go.

You, sir, have won hipster of the year! Please report to headquarters to ensure your beard is up to code and then you can collect your reward and get a polaroid with the club president.

Sounds like "Mama's got the magic" to me

Easy. "Mama's has got the magic".

I only remember it as "Mama's got the magic." So, I go with that.

Anyone who hears 'mom has' is just wrong lol

nezquick there’s whole compilations of old ads on RU-vid. I hate modern ads but the early 2k and before stuff is just nostalgic as hell. I guess this is the only channel you’d hear that from but he’s not alone for sure.

I found an unlabeled tape. On it was Anal Intruders vol. 1-3 😯

That would be absolutely amazing!

You just blew my mind. I always just saw it as the brush's handle.

@@solchapeau6343 I'm here with the Real Name from the official S.C Johnson website his name is Scrubby. Also I'm in with the company as my sister works for them. I love my scrubbing bubbles.

Why did this never occur to me

Wait, so it's not a handle? All these years, my life has been full of lies...

A scrubble.

Sounds right. "It's cheap because I'm nice enough to sell such a fabulous, premium quality product to you at a reduced price, not because it's cheaply made!"

I have the other stereotype: low prices simply mean they're not overcharging. While always on sale means they have problems selling it due a high amount of returns or negative reviews, so I always double check items that are often on sale for reviews online.

thank god its gone

Just like the movie

As soon as the Clorox 2 bottle came up, it all came back for me.

What's strange to me is that the time period seems a little too early. Surely there wouldn't be many people in the 90s who felt nostalgic for the late 1800s.

It would be the Silent Generation or Greatest Generation that was nostalgic for that era. Boomers would be nostalgic about the 60s I guess.

@@ashkitt7719 thanks for the correction :D

This entire series/video is literally just watching TV to make yourself feel nostalgia lol

I have an old recording of Van Helsing that has amazingly calming Christmas commercials from the early 2000.

Same same 💓

Me too. I started watching old commercial compilations a few years ago during a depressive episode. Anymore, media like this gives me a sense of comfort.

Imagine: he finds a recording that someone made... of _himself._ And then it cuts to little kids chanting in Greek, blaring over shots of burning dollhouses, all filled with Ian figures.

@Frizzurd I know that one, actually

Malachi Atkinson porn. He’s talking about porn.

I waiting for it

Legit I grew up in a small town not far from the town goods furniture is in and ended up working for a company that delivered there, turns out the lady in the commercials is not a nice person when you meet her

@@ThemightyHerm ... Can you spill the details?

norweeg what I love more is the fact that you have a yes album cover as a profile picture

Hollogyny Thanks! I get that comment a lot. ✌️

They have had the same voice-over guy since I was born in the late 80's. I remember all of these commercials and saying "Me Nards", during the commercials. Also, "Subway, Eat Flesh" as well.

I was gonna say, I swear that announcer still gets work even though I’ve hardly heard of Menard’s.

@@expendableindigo9639 It's a Midwest thing. Menard's is kind of a big deal over there.

Jordan Quiles I live in the midwest, lol. Just probably not the right part.

@@tonyjameson3111 Save big money at my naaards

Split Banana A fellow Iowan I see. LOL

this is the last place i expected to see some Iowan news lol

hey now, earlier this year they debated furiously about whether or not trans people should be people with rights, or free to hate by corporations and landlords. give iowa some credit. (the decision was, they didn't remove gender identity from discrimination laws)

This reminded me of a Harvest Moon weather report.

Hooo boy. I remember. >_>

Eisner was great through the 80s and 90s and arguably saved Disney from fading into obscurity... He just went insane in the early 2000s.

I didn't know this video was a crossover with Defunctland!

Secular Ascetic I agree, but damn when he goes insane he goes insane

I get more PTSD from "And this 'gentleman' without the antennae is John Lasseter"

@@kenziesmall7858 I gotta give Eisner this going off of both their film output and the stuff Defunctland taught me: dude was willing to take way more risks and endorse way more outlandish ideas compared to modern, cold, calculated, corporate Disney. I remember I first really started missing of Eisner back when they announced they were putting guardians of the galaxy in epcot...

Thanks, Headset Guy: I hoped someone would point out Victor Borge, one of the funniest Danes since Hans Christian Andersen. Funnier.

I particularly enjoy his "version" of The Magic Flute.

I think that was the most interesting part of this video for me. His comedy looks like the kinda stuff that's right up my alley. I'm definitely gonna look into him after his. :D

Phonetic Punctuation is great too!

I remember watching his stuff as a kid. Idk why must have been a rerun.

In Tim Minchin's "3 minute song" he makes a joke about how Victor Borge became such a standard for musical comedy that it not only laid the groundwork for people like him but gave him a constant point of comparison. Stilgoe and Skellern are the only other musical comedians I've seen come close to Victor Borge and Tim Minchin in terms of piano playing skills AND comedy, the sheer genius of Richard Stilgoe being able to take any 6 or 7 random things the audience shout out and write a funny rhyming song about them in the time it took Peter Skellern to play just 2 piano songs amazes me still.

And they have all kinds of tricks to do so. One of them (for print ads and product labels at least) is soaking a tampon in water, microwaving it, and then hiding it behind the food to make it look like the food is steaming hot.

Defunctland is getting pretty big...

Mike Kobela speaking from someone who is a fan of Defunctland, I get the reference.

That's been stuck in my head for years. I remembered it was for cookies, but I thought oreos. I never tried em.

Now I'm just thinking about Manly Oatmeal for Men. Extra large *manly* oat grains, cedarwood packaging, 500 grams of protein per serving to get you SWOLE. Gendered food is weird.

Pepperoni Pizzazaroli, for women!

@@omnipresentsnowflake4698 Chef Girlardee? 🤔

Why? Because you can charge them extra if it's pink and says "for her"

@@SolaireHighwind You forgot the part about it being bacon-flavored.

WE GOT SOME CHEAP-ASS BOY HOOKERS, SAVE _BIG MONEY_ AT MY NARDS

"suck my dick and my nads" That's the one I still say to this day. That, and calling menards hillbilly Disney.

Clyde-outdoor-products excuse me

I am suddenly very uncomfortable.

OK yandere

I think veins are better. Non pulsatile gives a smoother ride.

It's so surreal to see an Animal Crossing switch being filmed on a cassette tape

Cause it is