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True, but even the absolute best parents are only human and are going to make mistakes, and will unknowingly or unintentionally hurt their kids/family members. It's something we ALL do weather we mean to or not.
@@ville666sora yes, but being a good parent is about recognizing when you are wrong, and know how to apologize when you hurt your kid. Also it's about creating a close bond where you and your kids will be able to talk with you openly. Most parents don't acknowledge when they hurt us, and they blame us for having feelings, saying we are overreacting and dramatic. Or they just never even apologize. Being a good parent means knowing you are not perfect and seeing your kid as a human being with real feelings.
@@smokyquartz5817 That also really hurt me deeply because I also sing. I was really insecure about it and didn't have the self-esteem to sing infront of people. If the people around me didn't encourage me and instead said negative things about my singing, I would have never been brave enough to take initiative and sing at my graduation. I'm so sorry he hurt you, no one should ever discourage their own child ,or anyone for that matter, especially in their formative years. I didn't have a good singing voice in the beginning, it wasn't terrible but just not really great and a friend of mine recently wrote me a card saying, and I quote: "[...] But what I regret, is that I didn't believe in you at first. I just didn't really listen to you or payed attention. And now I'm soo happy (I mean that with full earnesty) that you continued to sing and practice! Because it's just so incredible to listen to you. It really is an angels voice that you have and I love it!" I cried at that because my music and singing is still a sensitive topic to me. She felt that way at first but she didn't tell me and I'm so grateful that she chose not to. What I'm saying is, don't ever let people tell you your worth and how good you are at something. You are able to achieve great things and people will try to tear you down, be it jealousy or just them not being happy with their own life, but you shouldn't listen to them. If you like singing, then fucking SING! You don't have to be good at something to be doing it. I assure you that as long as you sing with your heart and have passion, I will want to listen to you, no matter how good you are. I may not know you, but I see you.
And they mostly don't even know. You need to know your own scars and traumas to be aware of the impact you have on your children nd how your past affects them. Not many people are self-reflective enough for that.
@@vanillemor5009 sometimes its less about being reflective and more about plain survival. To face your traumas for what they are is terrifying and most of us would rather do anything but face our worst fears head-on as that means doing the most excruciating task of healing.
I think I heard somewhere that there is actually a psychological reason for this. "The easiest pain to ignore is the one we cause to people we love the most" or something like that. It's a defence mechanism in order to avoid seeing ourselves as monsters for hurting them. Every parent / lover / sibling / friend etc. does this. You and me as well. Best we can do is be more mindful and kind, but every normal person has a healthy bit of narcissism that protects their self image.
Yeah because They are not Perfect beings sometimes they talk without thinking Sometimes or out of their own struggles if you take every word,people say to you seriously,you will end up killing yourself....
parents don’t need to work hard to send something past your defenses. You trust them and need them, so you take what they say as true, even when they say something about you. So an offhand comment they make can be foundational because you believe it. To them, it wasn’t usually an attempt to wound you, it was swatting a fly, something that was annoying them and they commented on it. They probably forgot the next day. The power you have as someone’s parent is massive and you need to respect that
Countless times I've told people to take themselves off the planet. I said it out of anger and always regretted it later, because I never knew who actually followed through with it.
The worst thing I ever said to someone happened in sixth grade. This girl Sam, I don’t remember how the conversation started, but she said that her mom told her she was beautiful. I remember saying, in a very sinister way, “your mom has to say that, she’s your mom. She doesn’t actually think that.” And I remember seeing her lip quiver out of the corner of my eye and seeing the tears fall. She was a sweet kid… and after that she changed. She turned to a lot of bad things for validation… and I think my little comment is what started that domino effect. I was in a bad place in my childhood at the time and I think back to it now and tear up… I probably ruined her life in some way with that comment. Sam, if you ever see this.. I’m so fucking sorry. I had my own shit and I took it out on you. You ARE beautiful, and your mom saw it before I ever could. Please forgive me.
My family bullied me to the point of wanting to kms, and I told them that they should put themselves before anyone and that family didn't matter because one day we'll all grow apart and I still regret it.
I discontinued my education for 8 years at the age of 15 and I wanted to restart it at the age of 24. My dad said, " schools are for children. Not for those who had wasted their time. You are a grown ass woman now. Won't you be ashamed to join the children who are almost half of your age? You should stay at home and do house chores" . These words tore my heart. I wanted some encouragement and appreciation from my parents on my life changing decision but couldn't get a single soft word😭😭 Edit: I am a certified medical doctor now🥰🥰 I completed my education after my marriage with the help and support of my hubby.
There is never any shame in getting an education and creating a better life for yourself. Your dad did not want you to improve. I would love him from a distance.
@@misshoneynevercame4832 I was a drug addict and victim of child abuse. I had a tough childhood and teens. My dad was not supportive at all as he and my mom always fought. After every fight, my mom used to leave the house and I had to cook and clean for my siblings as I am the eldest. At last, things were getting better, he quit alcohol and was doing a job. He was happy for me when I performed very well in my medical university. We lost him in pandemic due to covid 19. I still love him. In his last years, he tried to be a good dad and he really supported my siblings.
So happy to know that you got to complete your education and have supportive partner 🌸 there is never an age requirement for education ..we are learning all the time ,doing that through an educational institute is not a bad thing.
If you die tonight, do you know where you're going? Did you know that Jesus Christ is THE only way to Heaven and He loves you? Through Him, God offers you a FREE gift - forgiveness. All you need to do is repent, turn away from your sins and evil ways, from now on put your faith completely in Jesus Christ and be obedient to Him. Biblical explanation of the Gospel: God doesn’t want anybody in hell because He loves us, but you must understand why we deserve hell and why those who refuse to live under His authority will go there. (Matthew 12:30) ''Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.'' He gave us the law (Ten Commandments) not to make us righteous, but rather to show us our sin (Romans 3:20). God gave us free will and since Adam sinned in the garden, sin is the nature of our flesh and we ALL have sinned. (Romans 3:23) The law demands death to those who sin (Romans 6:23). Revelation 21:8 says that all liars will go to hell. For someone to be justified before holy God they have to be sinless, that's why everyone need Jesus Christ - for He lived a sinless life and resurrected. None of us are good in God’s eyes, because for God good means moral perfection. We all have broken God’s commandments, we all have sinned in our lives so none of us are good. ‘’For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.’’ (James 2:10). Our carnal mind is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's moral law and it never will (Romans 8:7). We hate the thought of God for the same reason a criminal hates a policeman - we know we have sinned against God and are guilty of it, but we don't want to be damned. Good News is that Jesus Christ lived a perfect, holy, sinless life, Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, He was buried and He was raised from the dead on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4) For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’’ (John 3:16) We aren’t saved based on our good deeds/works, but only by the grace of God through faith. ''For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Jesus said ‘’it is finished’’ (John 19:30) just before He died on the cross, which means He paid the fine for our sins (past, present, future) to be forgiven if we repent and trust in Him. ''What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!'' (Romans 6:15) ''Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out'' (Acts 3:19) Repentance is a turning away from sin and all evil works, and it always results in changed behavior (Luke 3:8). Biblically, a person who repents does not continue willfully in sin. While sorrow from sin is not equivalent to repentance, it is certainly an element of scriptural repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). Do not play a hypocrite. ''God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.'' (1 John 1:5-6) If you have repented and have genuine faith in Jesus Christ then you will receive the gift of Holy Spirit and be born-again spiritually. (John 3:3) Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." When you believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14) You are born again with the Spirit of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:36) ''You will know them by their fruits'' (Matthew 7) If you have been truly born-again with the Holy Spirit and He has regenerated your heart, you will desire righteousnes - to do what is good and righteous in God's eyes, to seek God everyday in His Word and prayer, to strengthen your relationship with God. You will no longer desire to willfully continue living in sin but will want to obey God out of your love for Him because of His amazing grace revealed to us through the death and resurrection of His Son. ''Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.'' (2 Corinthians 5:17) ''For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.'' (Eph 2:10) You will have a testimony - of what your life had been before and how has it changed now when you have surrendered it to Lord Jesus Christ. As a declaration and affirmation of your faith in Jesus Christ, get baptised in water because He commanded us to do so. In John 3:5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.'' ''Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit'' (Matthew 28:19) ''Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.'' (Acts 2:41) ''And this water symbolizes the baptism that now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God - through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,'' (1 Peter 3:21) ''We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.'' (Romans 6:4) ''Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.'' (Colossians 2:12) Please get right with God and start your relationship with Jesus Christ today before it’s too late, because there’s not much time left! "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.’’ (Mark 13:32) Get to know Christ through God's Word - Bible. At first I recommend reading Gospel of John and book of Romans. God bless you! Jeremiah 29:13 - ''You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.''
It always strikes my heart that one single moment can cut into your soul so deep that time cannot heal it. I still remember my mom telling me "the music you listen to means nothing". we were in the car. I was 13. I was trying to show her a song about sexual assault. I'd been assulted by her husband, my step dad. She did back track, and try to fix it, but the wound was dealt. I cry now typing this because the pain still overwhelms me.
i feel so bad for that girl who said her father didn’t enjoy her singing. you’re supposed to encourage your daughter, not hurt her. i feel lucky to have parents who let me reach for my dreams as a child , whether they were real or not
Had a girl that I was close to (but just friends at the time), after talking back and forth about some of our past relationships, she says just casually, "its so weird to imagine someone being romantically attracted to you." the way she said it was as if she didn't even think twice about it being rude or not or whether it was painful to me. I still have problems putting myself out there to meet women because of it, 5 years later.
Are you sure she was not talking about herself?? Do know know for sure she was not referencing herself as the you in the statement? I myself have expressed thing this way to others and they understood I was talking about myself not them.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've been told worse living with a disability and all. I've learnt and still learning to see the positive in whatever people say to me. It's not being delusional.. just a matter of being kind to yourself and knowing everybody is worthy of love.. despite what others think.
I'm sorry, but was it obvious that she meant you as a person or just in general? This was about romantic relationships right? ...I probably read that wrong. The way I read it gave me Aromantic vibes, because that's a legit way of thinking sometimes.
"Crying is for poor people, you shouldn’t be crying. Go see a therapist, a therapist would fix you and don't come back until you're fixed." My dad to me after I tried to explain to him that I couldn't immediately come out of my room right away because I didn't want him and my mother to see me in tears after I had nearly cut ties with a friend.
Please cry, please communicate your pain, please reach for help every single time you need it. And I hope each time you will have someone there for you
Went to visit my dad in hospice who was battling a rare and incurable form of brain cancer. I was the first one to enter the room and my mom just looked up at me while sobbing and said "He's gone." It's stuck with me ever since and I still have nightmares about it. I still remember his pale discolored body and his cold skin when I touched him for the last time. I was 14.
The way these people are captured in these moments. It’s mesmerizing. Maybe I’m looking too deep into it but seeing the humanity in each person is such a wonder to me. To see someone is awesome.
Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. I feel for this people and just shows how deep words can remain with you no matter how many years go by. Let’s be kind to one another we never know what someone else is going through.
I told my dad about me having an eating disorder and he said “you weren’t very bright back then and you aren’t very bright now” this is the same man who says he’s supposed to show me how a man is supposed to treat me.
This is mess up… a father shouldn’t say such things… I hope you never hold anger against yourself or ur family!!.. If they keep harming you its better to leave them
For all these people in this video, I’m so sorry that you all received hurtful comments and it’s ok if you’re still hurt. You’re all stronger than you know! Not every parent deserves to have kids because of how they abuse or bully them
The one about singing literally broke my heart… 🥺 I love singing, I loved it as a kid too, so I can imagine how painful that must have been, especially from a parent who should’ve supported her. Please, start singing again 🙏🏼 I really hope she’ll finally be able to get her voice back. She deserves it.
The most painful thing I've been told was "Can I go with someone else?", cuz up until now I've never been the first choice to any of my friends, and I still feel like none of my friends want to actually listen to me when I'm feeling down. Every person I know tells me and reach out to me when they are going through something bad cuz "they really feel comfortable talking to me and telling me their secrets" but when I need to talk to somebody, all of them turn their backs on me and go to someone else. If you read this whole, ty ❤
"raise your hand if you want abi to die" This was said during lunch in the 2nd grade by one of my classmates. Once it was said everyone who was sitting around me raised their hands. The situation only got worse as it was brought up to the teacher because I tried to make fun of the girl who said that after we got back to the classroom. My teacher rightfully told me it was wrong to make fun of the girl, as well as disapprove of what she had said during lunch. My teacher then gathered the entire class in a circle with the lights dimmed. She made us each state our case and I revealed to them how lonely I was and didn't have friends to play with at recess. I would basically just roam around alone and occasionally talk to the teachers who would watch over us. My teacher then said to me that I should let the teachers do their jobs. I just felt like at that point I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't feel like I belong at school and now I couldn't even talk to my teachers. I also felt the same at home because I couldn't come to my parents about this. I didn't feel comfortable because I told my dad that I didn't have any friends at school a previous time, and he just brushed it off. My parents were absent while I was going through all of this, and continue to be as they are very conservative catholics, and I'm queer. They've shown their disapproval of me from things like taking down my bring me the horizon poster and putting a giant rosary in its place, to throwing away my clothes and pride flag because my mom didn't like them. All of these moments really drilled into my head that I don't belong and I feel like I really missed out on emotional intelligence. I feel so detached from my family as well as the real friends I did make later on in life. I struggled through the rest of my grade school days and up to college. I became the problem because the way I have carried this hurt has caused me to hurt and distance myself from others. I just turned 21 last week and I cried so much while typing this out. I have a lot of healing and learning to do.
I wish you a lot of strengh and love for your path! Be easy with you! It has been a lot and you done great so far! It isn't easy when you don't have a support system around, but there is a reeeaally big world outside. There are people who will come into your life and they will like you the way you are. Just be easy on yourself. And if it might help you, please talk to someone professional about it. It can help you heal. It will be hard. But it's going to be worth it.
Raise your hands if you think Abi is brave; Me: raises both hands You might feel suffocated and unacceptable of yourself right now but please believe me when I say if you hang in there long enough things will get better. Your identity was interrupted while forming and now you define yourself as others define you not as you uncover. Speak to someone, speak to little Abi as well and draw strength from her. You stronger than you know. Be kind to yourself!
I’m in tears with you too. I know how it is to be lonely and treated like a problem…Jesus Christ was treated the same way on earth, misunderstood even by the closest people to Him. Jesus Christ is for the loner! “‘If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you’” John 15: 18-19 ESV
As a kid, I was always pretty isolated, when I got to middle school I had a group of friends who I thought I got along with, and one day I will never forget was one of them talking to me only, and said “we only include you because we feel bad for you.” I still carry that with me, and feel unworthy of friendships/relationships. I forgive, but certain things just cut too deep to forget.
happened to me as well. I was friends with the "popular", extroverted girl who was never present in this specific group of people, she was with others. Then this specific group once told me that I shouldn't actually be there bcs they wanted to kick that friend of mine out of the group and that they were being "nice" and inclusive with me just out of pity. This was very hurtful since I considered all of them as my friends :(
I feel the same way, whenever I meet someone I always tell them if they want to stop talking to me or unfriend me they can and I won’t feel offended at all, I’m used to it! I say not to beat around the bush, and I realize that I constantly apologize for really stupid things, like confusing them or messaging them at the wrong time.
Never liked what I saw staring back at me in the mirror. I had two women actually tell me I was too ugly to go out with. I was a nice guy, funny and smart, but they couldn’t get over my looks. They just made me hate myself more than I already did.
This is one of the reasons we all should be tested before having kids. It's so freaking sad how parents/people think that if You hurt a child, that's not important. 😰
I was told by my mother “you’re not a strong person.” Yeah that hurt. Also had a close friendship that I thought would last for a lifetime but she just stopped responding after some time, about a year later I asked why she never responded and she told me “you’re emotions are just a lot.” It made me feel dehumanized.
7:07 this teacher is horrible and a sinner, it's one thing to hurt someone 1 on 1 but when you do it in front of an entire class this is the same as murder, I felt so bad, and it's so sad it lasted for 15 minutes without anyone standing up for her. My heart breaks for her and the fact she managed to tell this story with a smile on her face....just hurts as heck.
I think that man suffered childhood abuse and that’s why he gave an immediate no to opening up. I think someone (likely a close family member) was doing something evil to him and ended it with “I love you.” But it definitely wasn’t love, so now he can’t trust when someone says it and actually means it.
I'm not surprised sadly. Working with elementary school kids I have experienced it several times now that kids feel worthless and not good enough because of their parents. It is so sad that parents don't see how the things they say might damage their kids for life. Those pure souls deserve all the support they can get. We need to lift them up, not bring them down! Life's hard enough later on.
Just imagine all the parents who cut down their children would have supported them. What could they have become?! I am crying for all these little souls 😓
The thing that stuck with me all this time was ironically not supposed to be hurtful. When I was 13, I was suicidal. Those were the thoughts and emotions I battled every day in the back of my mind. I was also very lonely, and felt like nobody cared about me and being my friend. So when I was on a school trip with classmates, I started talking about something I did, and one boy said instantly as I finished: "kill yourself". I knew it was a joke, but it was so unexpected, it shattered my heart. To be suffering without noone knowing and then others suggesting you do it after listening to you talk...damn.
“We sometimes forget you exist” - my former and only friends I’ve ever had. Spent 6 years with them from 6th grade to the end of high school technically. March 2020 - Autumn 2021 never heard anything despite my attempts. They ignored me and eventually asked me to play hockey with them. I did and they dropped that statement after the entire time of me feeling invisible and learning they had kept in contact with each other. They dropped that statement and I left early. It’s been another 2+ years and I’m still all alone. The silence speaks volumes over anything else.
I remember my parents and I being in a fight because I tried to open up about my feelings regarding the bullying, emotional abuse of a friend and what not I had experienced and my father just breaking down and saying he feels like he failed as a dad. My mom screaming I belong into some kind of institution…I think seeing my usually so strong father cry because I tried being honest and frustrated hurt the most.
When I was in my teen years, my dad became a mentor to an intern at his work. She was beautiful, outgoing, and intelligent. Got into USC then Stanford. She was everything I was not. I will never forget when he told me that he wished I, his biological daughter, was more like her. To this day, I still think I will never be good enough for him. It hurts. It really hurts.
It's crazy how you can just ask someone a question and they will just open up to you, it's so beautiful and it gives me faith in humanity and reminds me everone is going though something ❤️
I have PCOS and I've been overweight almost all of my life. My face is round and chubby. Almost 11 years ago i was 16 at that time. I went to attend my cousin's wedding. And this random aunty from my cousin's family came and said "o my god you are so fat and ugly your face is so round and chubby." She said it in front of almost 20 people all of them are my family and no body said a word they just listened felt embarrassed tried to change the topic and went on. But i was totally changed at that point. I was bullied in highschool because i was fat. My confidence level was already so low. I never ever felt confident again. I'm 27 now and still whenever I look in the mirror i see an ugly girl starring back at me. I'm getting married in March but I'm not happy because i feel so ugly all the time and i feel like people will make fun of me when I'll go in front of me as a bride. I feel like everyone is prettier than me. I hate myself so much!! Pls pls pls be kind to others when you talk to them. If you don't have anything nice to say pls be quiet. Your words can ruin others life. Pls be nice to each other 🥺
It always comes from the people we least expect it to come from - family and close friends. Shows that strangers can love you more than those who have birthed you or raised you, and although it’s scary, it builds our character.. makes us stronger and want to break generational curses
the most hurtful thing i have been told was by a guy in my class..we were heading for chemistry class and he said my waist and me totally looked like a dog on the street that hasn't been fed for years.and it struck me i didn't like react to it at all cuz i was like the most liked person in school..but i cried a lot at home..Even those you think have a perfect life are probably nothing close to perfection....all that is behind me now just wanted to share with you guys..and let no one determine who you are ..WE GROW EVERY DAY EVERY MINUTE AND EVERY SECOND EMBRACE IT😉
I cried throughout the video...a lot of them were about parents..mine's too...I have lost count of the times I cried because of my dad ..I have told him many times that his words really hurt me but he never listens .says harsh things and forgets about it like it's nothing but every single word is like a stab to my heart .I wish parents realize how much their words ,actions and views mean to their children.
the most painful thing I've ever been told was said by my brother and my mom a few weeks ago. he said "nobody trusts you anyway" and my mom just laughed and didn't say anything. That really hurt me and made me cry for several days.
My dad telling me that I literally mean nothing to him! Now we have quite a « normal » relationship but those words I’ll never forget. It still hurts me.
when i see adult people telling their experiences/traumas about something they lived at such a young age (like the lady who was told her singing was horrible), i don't see an adult, i genuinely see the child crying, i see a traumatized child who will never be the same. Something I learned the hard way is that no matter how many times someone apologizes, and no matter how much time has already passed, what hurted you will hurt forever, and words are the most powerful thing in this world
The heartbreaking thing IMO that ppl says the hurtful thing straight away it's showing that it hurted too deep that it's carved in their souls it's crazy how a word or action could effect somebody's life
This cleanses me emotionally and I don't feel any need for drugs/alcohol to vent the pain because these people have offered themselves as proxies by sharing their stories😭
I have SO many just from my parents alone. They were abusive growing up and still are so I’ve got lots of painful things that have been said but something I will never forget is when my dad found out I was bisexual. I’m a girl and I was 16 at the time (20 now). My dad was absolutely disgusted when he found out I like both genders and he told me “You can do whatever you want, but if you marry a girl, I’m not coming to your wedding.”
I really hope that the third woman in this video sings again, every day, for the rest of her life, and she is filled with joy knowing her voice is a treasure her Dad didn't have the intelligence or wisdom to be grateful for. I'm a musician and a trained singer, so her words cut me to the core because more than any instrument, a criticism about one's voice is so personal and is really hard to forget.
The most hurtful thing I’ve been told was last year in 10th Grade, my mom and I got into an argument. I’m the kind of person who tries to see the perspective of the person I disagree with and I remember my mom said to me: “Just die!” I have forgiven her but I have never forgotten it. My mom is a single mother and has gone through a lot of shit in her life and I can’t say that I was a good child, but I wasn’t expecting her to say that to me… I still love you mom❤️😘🥹
The worst thing I have ever been told was if I lost some of my weight I would be prettier and I was only in the 8th grade getting dressed for prom and that hurts because till this very day my great grandma still says those kind of things to me and it sucks because I am trying and they have no idea what I actually put myself through just to meet up to their standards and the standards of society.
Just be yourself forget about what others think. Love yourself the way you are, if we were all the same this world would be lame.. Dont worry, be happy 🎶
Tbh people have said alot of hurtful things to me but the worst thing I heard was my mom telling me that she’s fed up of taking care of me and that I’m a burden. Being told you’re a burden hurts because I always try my best but it’s still painful to hear your own mother say such a thing like that. Usually my mom tells me hurtful things but hearing that one hurt alot.
We love you too Thoraya for the work that you do. I feel so sad for these people and it makes me also think of the words that I have used to hurt others.
when one of my friends stopped talking to me because our relationship was "too unhealthy" and that i was "too mentally ill" or that when i mentioned to my parents that i wanted to get screened for adhd, and their response was "dont be stupid, there is nothing wrong with you", which completely put me off of asking them ever, or even talking to them about any of my problems, especially since finding out more about adhd and realising that there was quite a high chance i ACTUALLY had it, and the fact that they just dismissed it without even really thinking about it.
the worst thing in my life was 3 months ago when i told my parents i was going outside with my friend and i went to the pride march in my city for the first time, i came home and my father stormed out of the bathroom pinned me to the wall and told me some things i'll never forget, such as that he wishes i was dead and that he never deserved shit like me, that broke me till the end. i knew he may not react well but telling me he wished me and my friend were dead and calling me a worthless piece of shit made me feel like never before, i'll never forget that feeling. im still scared and scarred because of that and i cant wait to move out because even though he calmed down, i feel like im living with a tempered bomb which may explode any moment if he anyhow suggests that i am queer, i cant even describe the excruciating pain
There has been many hurtful things that we have been through in our life. Once we start forgiving people, and make amends with ourselves. It gets better
Hurt children raising children....trauma is passed until one can parent oneself..They didn't know unconditional love so couldn't give..I pray healing and peace for everyone
“She’s gone” I’m sorry to everyone who’s gotten trauma from their parents, fortunately my parents had me in their 30’s and they were more suited to raise kids. I had a wonderful childhood and am grateful for the time I had with my mom. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
I think the most painful words I've heard were from my mom when she asked, "can you tell me what's wrong with you? How do I help you?" I was 12 years old and struggling with ADHD, anxiety, and REALLY bad depression. I had been to countless experts, none of which had answers or solutions. They just said I was polite and well-behaved and there was nothing they could do for me. I was an evangelical christian at the time and the only "therapy" my dad believed in was bullying queer people back into the closet. I didn't know how to help myself, and hearing my mom have to ask ME for guidance broke my heart. Since then, I've believed that there's no point asking for help when I don't know why I do the things I'm seeking help for.
This breaks me a little. I recalled the worst thing ever said to me, I knew I wasn't alone in the hurt. But to hear these things now, from the beautiful people here, i realuze how truly powerful words are. The woman regarding her singing, pyts much into perspective. The world has even cheated by not ever hearing the voice of this beautiful woman, only witnessed by the woman while dad shot her down. Wow, how many of us hold ourselves back by words we were told, that we accepted as truth from others we live. Its very sad, BC often these things are said when we were children or teens. The most vulnerable time for us all. Words hurt. Often, if said at a particular time or moment, words can literally destroy heat might have been our life purpose. If you are here reading this, you are more beautiful, talented, loved and appreciated then you have ever have been told. Words create the energy around us, positive or negatively and the words arw created from their own pain & trauma, and had nothing at all to do with you and who you could have been. Trudge through the pain, and font cheat the world out of you very special, unique gifts, only you can give us. It is only a moment that someone chose to be hurtful, ugly & small. Give what they said back to them and know the source that caused the pain, couldnt see the beauty through their tarnished glasses. You are beautiful, uniquely & exactly as you are. Please don't cheat us all or deny us the gifts only you can give, or believe the lies you have been told. Rise above other's who act poorly and recognize there are people (whomever they are to you), who are incapable of seeing your incredible beauty & greatness.
Dude... in my 21 years and as someone who would like to be a father someday, even knowing that there's no instructive booklet of how to be a good parent, I just think that we should be more responsible of what we say... I mean, as someone mentioned: 'words have power', and parenting or love can't be confused with leaving painful marks in the own life you're rising.
If I was there,I would run barefoot through the grass with that 3rd lady,and we would sing Moonshadow at the top of our lungs,and enjoy every minute of it!Keep singing!🎶
The most hurtful I heard is One of my close family she always called her kid 5 years old every time she do something bad she would say to her “ I hate you” that makes me cry inside because I can't do anything to her. She is so young and so innocent she doesn't deserve it. No one deserves to be said hurtful words. The heart is like a mirror once you crash it will never be the same even if you brought the pieces together. Please be nice and if you can’t be the parent your kids want you to be please don’t even bother yourself to have one 😭
"Your grandma wouldn't want you, she would only want your sister" was said to me when my parents were in the midst of divorce. It hurts feeling like a problem child when you didn't mean to. My childhood ADHD made me messy and depressed and words like this did not help me at all. It made me feel bad and sad for struggling. I kind of gave up in life, if I'm so unwanted anyway then why would I want to care to take care of myself? I am 32 years old and I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling like a burden.
both of my parents told me that i only care about myself. I don’t. i’ve always had trouble showing how i care about people, but i do. i’m introverted, i like spoiling myself, and that always lingers in my head. Especially when i lose relationships.
Mine: My rabbits died when they were one years old. We were in skills for life (at school subject) and one of my partners said they deserved to die. I cried that day when a I got home. Another one is: When one of my friends told me that techno died. I thought it was some sick prank and I couldn’t concentrate the whole day. They are my experiences. Also, whoever is reading this, I wish the best upon you, u matter and are worth it, people are mean sometimes so let them be, do not react, it will work out for you at the end, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️
Once my parents and my teacher told me that all the creative stuff like writing, drawing, making music would never pay my bills and it has no worth in this world. That line always stuck in my head, because they basically told me that I waste my life with that. But to be honest, it hurts me more, when my dad told my, that he is sad, because I am not creative anymore and how good the things were that I did. This breaks my heart, because I stopped most of the things, because of all the people who told me that it is worthless. I never talked about that with anyone and I guess, the reason for this is, that I blame myself for being not strong enough to stay with all this creative things. I still do write and I will finish my novel series maybe this years. So, not everything is gone. Maybe one day I will be a successful writer and I know what I will do... Try to reach othere people to not give up on things purely by the fact that others see no worth in it.
I think currently it’s “I don’t know what I want from you, but I don’t want to lose you,” someone I was seeing told me this while saying they weren’t over their ex. I was just a rebound for them.
This is absolutely heartbreaking :( However, I think the reason that makes it hurt so much is not necessarily because of what's been said, but because of the people that said it. When it's your parents (or someone else very close to you) that hurt you, it hurts so much more. They should be the one you trust and when they break it... wow :(
Please... Do EMDR. This will help you relive that moment and process it as a grownup. You will -for sure- be able to let go of that hurt and open up all kinds of possibilities ❤️
I feel the same my family doesn’t care I can sing or want to listen to me sing …only my boyfriend loves it when I sing he tells me to sing to him …and sometimes at night he wants me to sing and not stop lol
A quote I always remember is: “when you keep criticizing your kids they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves” As an individual with one verbally abusive parent and one absent parent, this rings true for me.
🥲 That hurts parents should really have more insight of the things they say to their children, somethings should never been said. As children we look at our parents as the people that know us the most so when our parents discourge us and belittle us we believe them and we grow up thinking we are not worthy of love, so we cope with this feeling by pleasing others or drugs or other bad things
that's precisely why they hurt, oftentimes. A stranger saying something hurtful can be brushed off, but not when it's someone you believe cares about you.
It hurts so much because it comes from those who we think should love us unconditionally. Anybody else can say the same thing and it would get brushed off for the most part
Words spoken by the homeless shelter manager, after the house fire that took the lives of my spouse, two daughters, and two dogs. "You're now a family of 1" . 😭
The woman whose father told her she should never sing has a beautiful speaking voice. I can just imagine how beautiful her singing voice must be. I truly hope she finds her song again.
I could relate. I love to sing. My grandmother told me all my childhood "oh God how off tune this girl is!". When I was 21, my mom offered me singing lessons for the first time: my coach was so amazed by my voice she wanted me to enter the conservatory of music. But till this day, I can't sing knowing someone can hear me. Up until now, my mom never truly heard me sing. It took me 4 years before being able to sing in front of my husband. The first time he overheard me singing in the shower, he was so in shock and touched, he told me "Wow your voice is amazing!". He's the only one I sing to, because of his genuine reaction. As for the rest of the world, I freeze because how insecure I still am with my voice. Thanks grandma! And the funniest thing is, growing up and learning singing techniques, I realized how aweful my grandpa sings! I share the same great voice and love for singing as my mom, as well as her insecurity around it. So I guess grandma screwed two generations after her!
The fact that woman hasnt sang in all these years and is SO emotionally devistated by that loss... means she really was good and it really was her passion and imagine whats awaiting under that lock and key if she could be brave and let her voice free again. Dont ever let someone else change who you're meant to be ❤️
To the woman who stopped singing, please never give up trying to get your voice back it’s possible and you’re not alone and you are so much stronger than you think
I really hope she can find her passion for singing again, if she is still stuck with it it means she probably still loves it and would like to try it out, it's never late!
The lady that spoke about her dad telling her that her voice was horrible when she was nine so she hadn't sung since really crushed me. They all crushed me, but that one really got me to the core.
The pain she felt mustve been immense, my grandma told my mother the same thing, and that she's dumb and cant learn anything, she still believes it to this day, it hurts my heart, my grandmother was a sweetheart on her old age but thats unforgivable
Its wasted potential... nothing is worse than that. I hope that lady finds the strength within her heart to sing again because I am sure she sounds absolutely beautiful
I had a similar experience with my mother, she herself told me to sing a song about mothers (mother themed)... But she yelled at me and made me repeat it over and over again telling me that I sang terrible. Since then I feel a great discomfort when singing, I don't do it and only when they force me but little, I can't even remember the lyrics of the songs, my mind just floods. This happend was when I was 8 now I'm in my 20's.
it makes me realizes how bad parents are and still are… I had to pause the video and think on the one where her dad told her daughter her voice is horrible. I relate to some of them too because my mother isnt so nice sometimes and has fucked me over mentally
It's not that surprising though, because the things that hurt us most are the things that people say, who we love and I think that we never love anybody as much as we love out parents, when we are kids.
The thing is that parents don't realize how much we value their words, so when they say something bad like this, we engulf it with our very soul and it puts a permanent scar on children for ever. I would know because my mom always calls me useless
The singing lady got me. I never cry but I burst into tears. Truly so painful to imagine how different her life may have been if she was supported in her talents. I pray that she heals and realises it’s not too late.
Same here. it was immediate tears for me, after she said what her father told her. How awful for a parent to so swiftly and brutally destroy their child's confidence.
My sister would tell me she was annoyed at my guitar playing and singing, and she once said she didn't like my voice. And I don't pretend I'm great or something but it does hurt your confidence, and ruins something you just do because you enjoy it. And I married and my wife has actually said the same things, like she didn't really say she didn't like mt voice but that my guitar playing was annoying and excessive and repetitve. and there was a point where we had like a huge fight and then I looked at her face and promised I wouldn't ever play again, at least in front of her.
