What to do when a narcissist turns people against you 

😆 great point!

What goes round comes around.

Oh yes. I don't bother any more.

Although it hurts at the time, they are doing you a favour, cutting out the dead wood.

@Crystal Pei yes, you are a long time dead and we are only here for a nano second, in the grand scheme of things. Don't waste your time.

He or she 😳☕

Yeah, a narcissist can also be a female, it's not just males.

@@gorgess IKR?STATISTICALLY THE FEMALE NARCS GREATLY OUTNUMBER THE MALES.

It's so true, it must be approached with Grace . In my case I'm referring to my ex-husband, I did notice that other people treated me as well as badly as he did. It was unsettling and I didn't have words for it but now I have a name for it and I'm so thankful. Flying monkeys . He told everybody I was a big fat ugly slob would never amount to anything, and when they met me they were astonished that I was quite the opposite. So, they stopped associating with him

Well said excellent. It happened to me.

I agree !!

Yeah, but evil always takes for freaking ever to do it, and leaves a pile of corpses and ruin behind. Better that good openly and actively confronts, thwarts, and destroys evil rather than waiting for more and more destruction to be piled up.

It’s exactly what my sister did and then convinced others in the family that I was the problem! It broke our whole family up!

This is happening now with my narc sister ​@@donnahatchett3833

Flying monkeys are people of low moral character. They want to believe the juicy lies.

Good point. It is like a filter. Sad to see people you thought had good critical thinking skills and empathy be recruited as flying monkeys. The ones who are clearly narcissistic as well are easier for me to let go of...

​@@donnahatchett3833 I'm going through this right now with my family and my sister. It's so hard and so shocking. I just can't believe that all of these people that have known me my entire life would suddenly turn on me. And the lies she's telling aren't even believable! My life is forever changed because of this. I will never have a relationship with my favorite aunt or my closest cousins ever again. It's all because my sister didn't get her way. She has to make me pay. And it's not just family members. It's literally anyone that will listen to her. She's so convincing! She's so good at what she does. She almost had me turn against my own self. I just want to stand up in front of everyone and shout it to the world but I don't think it would matter

I totally agree with you. It was hard for me to do so but now I've decided not to explain myself in front of other people even if they used to be my friends. The only way is to cease communication with such people.

100% facts💝

Since I ignored her.. she started to only insult me around other people to isolate me.

@@lalili1358 it's called smear campaign. I understand your feelings,I'm going through this now. At first it hurt me, a Narc tried to isolate my best friend from me but I had sent her a message via Twitter to explain what's going on and warned her that she shouldn't answer questions about our friendship, and my friend understood me. I've "lost" some mutual "friends" of course. One of them became flying monkey and tried to provocate me when she was my guest at my flat. I realized that only when she left and became less emotional with her- I'm not texting her first, when I'm online, I've muted her on Twitter, I don't call her first, not replying to her messages via social media at once as I did before, don't share something too personal, always say that I am doing well, repeating that I'm doing nothing special- reading books, learning Japanese, cooking and that's all. I also don't involve other mutual friend whom I know as loyal. This flying monkey tried to do the trick and said that I must be hurt that our mutual friend don't text to me much as it was before, I said something like : well,she works a lot ,she must be tired after work and smiled to my flying monkey like a fool 😂 It maybe a coincidence but this mutual friend texted me after a while and we had a nice talk about poetry and literature and were both happy to talk to each other again. We live in different places ,my town is not far away from her city but these days we can't leave our houses to see each other due to the quarantine rules,so we use internet to communicate. It may sound strange but this smear campaign against me helped me to see real people's attitude towards me,who are my friends and who are pretending to be ones,I became more understanding when my friend is not calling me back or texting me back at once, I've moved my focus from the world outside me to my innermost,all this quarantine time made me sit and reflect on this situation- I ceased or blocked all the contacts which are poisonous to me,I don't care what these people post about me via social media,I don't care about who unfollowed me on Twitter during the smear campaign, I'm more myself than I ever had been, realising that every day can be my last when I go shopping for food made me free,it made me more compassionate, loving, caring and sincere. When I want to say that I love someone or something on social media,I say so, and I don't care if these flying monkeys of a Narc will shit post a screenshot of my words to a Narc- they won't change and they are not my tribe, and I won't stop being sincere to the people I love because it's who I am. I stop being open-hearted to flying monkeys but it does me good and I become stronger every day. Don't be upset about the fact that someone left you because of a narcissist, they were never your tribe. I truly believe that when you move on, becoming stronger every day, you will attract healthy friends who will love you for who you are and won't believe any gossip about you, and won't involve in a smear campaign against you as a flying monkey of a Narc. I wish you much health, take care of yourself and stay home 🤗 warm hugs from Russia ☺️

you have to first even hear the story. the "skillset" of this guy to "adjust" the fabricated story was incredible. each person got a 'custom fit'. my uncle got a "vague" story as he knew me well, relatives once removed got a more specific story, other people who didn't know me at the time got a "full meal deal". Wow.

Yes, when i cut, my "friends" are gone too.

Yeah they triangulate your siblings , then your cousins .. then they come after your young kids … so sad

I am living it.

So true. And don't be afraid to let them go, they were not worth it.

@@DirkArnez my experience too.. 😘

Learned this the hard way. They find the weakness in the venting and use it against you.

They can take one thing and make a whole different story out of it and get people to believe it.

Like the time a beautiful red haired gang stalker invited me over, a very long drive for me, and met me at the door with a glass of fruit juice loaded with Prestone anti-freeze - then when I got such pain I thought I was going to die, really began to die and went into convulsions she had wild sex on me knowing the exertion would make the poison act faster? 'Chaos' would be a step up for that Heather.

​@@gordonanderson3111omg I'm so sorry that happened....my sister thought I wouldn't believe that her ex husband poisoned her cat with what her vet said was antifreeze. I told her I absolutely believed it bc I have heard that same antifreeze poisoning story from others and worked as a veterinary technician seeing first hand the animal victims of narcissist/sociopath/psychopaths. There are a lot of sick people out there and everyone needs to protect themselves and loved ones.

@@user-mf1kv4lk2m Yes, i was told as a boy and young man "Don't bother trying to tell anyone what we are doing, no one will believe you." So now that these videos have helped me figure out what is going down, I say 'At the center of the word believe is the word lie'. I would say more but it would not be allowed up to be seen - many, such as my 89 year old mother Shirley, have dissappeared and many in law enforcement and gov. have resigned (up to our senator Al Franken)- because - my new song about it all will be a HIT - 'Corporate funded gang stalkers rape & murder with impunity' is the woking title. Act cold hearted and unfeeling and like you can not hear me, like your life depends on it - because... Sing it with me - if yu dare 'CORPRATE FUNDED GANG STALKERS RAPE AND MURDER WITH TOTAL IMPUNITY!

66 and right there with you timing and all! Had to look and see if this was MY post! Hah! You think you are the only one in the world who had to go no-contact, and it's embarassing. Then you start reading all of these.

Mine was also my Mother. Did exactly what you’re saying. I just couldn’t believe what people were telling me she had said about me, still struggling with it. I went to a family wedding recently where nobody was allowed to talk to me, The Bride and Groom made a fuss of me but nobody else dare talk to me. I’ve never felt so hurt in my life. I’m a grown man but when I got home and shut the door I cried like a baby. I think this must be how a victim of bullying feels,

I do the same thing. I have been at the bottom of the totem poll most of my life, right where my parents wanted me. They didn’t like me because wasn’t the pretty daughter they dreamed. I feel like a grease stain on the pavement.

@@StephanieGrantham I hope you can cut ties with the people who mistreated you. Reject their hateful opinions. You are worth loving. Accept and love yourself. Please don't criticize yourself. You need time to develop into the person you were meant to be. Abuse can slow that development so get free of it and get to know the real you. Clearly you are a strong survivor. Many people understand your situation and we support your efforts to have a happy life! Best wishes!

Not only am I happier now, I can really be myself and not waste time on someone not worthy. I am somewhat isolated too, but it's something I'm working on by learning more about what I like and what I enjoy spending my time with rather than what everyone else wants. Write it down to get it out of your head and create room for something new to take your attention!

But what about when you try to warn people about the narcissist and no one believes you? Then it makes you look like you’re the narcissist who sells lies. I’m dealing with that and although I know I don’t have to fight to be right; that it’s not worth the effort, still. People should know this person is not to be trusted.

@bigsistahtips for them to find out. When I left I left everything nasty behind. Worked on myself. What others do is non of my business.

Thank YOU! 🙏🏽💐💐

That's what my husband is doing to me blames me for everything tells all his family and friends I'm a nutter but ill be the one who has the last laugh when I move away😮😮😢😢😢

😊😊

Well, psychologically speaking were wired to see negatives and pay attention more to them as a survival mechanism.

Amen

Yes, and you have to wonder why your family is so quick to believe the flyin monkey routine begs belief... Even after they have proved to be a liar you would think they would question the Narcs whole artificial facade and pack of carefully constructed lies. But most Narcs are very successful and take all the credit for the life you built together so when you divorce your family would rather keep them in the divorce than you.. Just sayin..

Plus there are so many with latent traits of narcissism so they're glad to not only believe but spread the negativity too

Don't remember the origin but There's a saying that "bad news travels twice as fast as good news." Majority of people have a crabs in a bucket mentality. They want to drag you down (because of jealousy, envious, etc).

'Gang Stalkers' as we call them destroy everyone and everything, including themselves, in the End.

​@@gordonanderson3111ugh I hate that word. It made me end up on a psych ward. Please cal it what it is, which is flying monkeys.

@@carly582 I too ended up in a psych ward, for 7 a/2 weeks - SO I was motivated to find out who worked with my family members to do the series of crimes that totally destroyed my life and al my hard work - a family with over 120 BILLION dollars - name rhymes with coke, Charles Coke, can hire an army of flying monkeys, with bat like wings, crazy eyes, long fangs, that swoop down to carry children off to be ... well you know, eaten alive while a wicked witch named Chuck laughs with sadistic glee! IS THAT BETTER THAN SAYING 'gang stalkers'? How about NSA "Disruption Operations" hired to destroy citizens?

They have been brainwashed, like we were 😬

Narcissists are VERY adept at picking the types of people that will believe their narrative and smear campaigns. If a person has high empathy and weaker boundaries they are more likely to be swayed by the narcissist.

Matthew Tucker Most definitely.

Erika People sadly misuse religion too - some “religious leaders” are also Spiritual Narcissists. They are truly dangerous types - thankfully most are not that way, but far too many are. Be aware always.

The flying monkeys are weak minded individuals.

He turned my grown kids against me. They ignore me...they dont call, text or email me back when I send them an email. Now they're attacking me saying things about me that are not true! Its like they don't know me! I've been feeling so unloved but I got back into understanding narcissism after going to years of therapy when we first got divorced 25 years ago. I'm happy to see how the understanding of narcissists have evolved! I KNOW I'm a good person and deserve love. I'm probably going to go down to NC to live with my sister and her husband. I'm tired of the abuse. But I have grandchildren so I will miss them. But I'm afraid they will eventually turn them against me. I've put so much love and energy into my family...and now I dont have the love and support that I need in my golden years! Thank god I have my sister and her family!

I agree they plan their undermining over years the victim has no idea what's going on Its too late when you figure it out They are evil Shakespeare villains

Thank you Anna Leone for your comment. What you write is exactly how it is to tangle with a sociopath/narcissist. I feel fortunate to have gotten out of my situation with my life. My sister in law played the long game for 30 years smiling in my face while destroying every relationship she could detect I had. I went no contact, but she is a master of subtle destruction and still out there destroying the lives of others. Attractive, charismatic, and throughly rotten on the inside. Thank you for summing up what goes on.

@@jaydeecee1643 I am so infinitely sorry for what you are going through. How deeply sad that is. But we have to keep in mind that if people are that easily brainwashed and turned against their own mother or any friend then those people are not good for you to associate with. They are unhealthy companions. In order for us to heal we have to stick to healthy and supportive people only and nobody else. In work based relationships we have to discuss only the things that pertain to the profession and keep personal things to ourselves. There are not that many compassionate people in the world to begin with and it's always better to have fewer friends than deal with those who are cold. I have only one human friend in my life and I value him deeply. And All non human animals are my friends.

You are so right! It happened to me with my ex turning my three kids against me and my family. I have not heard or seeing my kids for 15 years. He did really turned them against me!!!

100%

Knowledge is power

I totally agree with you after I experienced this with my sister whom I never suspected !!!!

Totally

Exactly. If they don't want to see the truth about the narcissist they will be sucked in by them forever

Truly.

And don’t give a fuxk!

Yes! Exactly what I have done!

But sometimes it’s kids who can be easily manipulated

When you reach a Point in this life with a narc....you can't be bothered about what other people will say ...just continue being you..its nothing to do with us. .

What about your own children being brainwashed, and walking away!?? You're telling me, my children are not worthy? They are barely legal adults...they know not what they do. I'll always love them and miss my babies. It's a horrible grief, too, to lose a child whom is alive.

@shannonyeung8491 My heartfelt compassion goes out to you experiencing such grief. Of course, your children are a different scenario. I hope the situation with your children turns for the better, sooner than later. 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

Exactly. I know the truth. Why should I care about defending myself to the people who ate up the lies. There's still times that I want to bring him down to how bad I felt and humiliate him by making him tell them all the truth. But then I go back to no that's not me. I'm not mean and malicious as that and I would gain nothing from it. I know the truth and he will be exposed eventually. Still working through the hurt and betrayal obviously.

You apparently didn't lose jobs and positions...​@@emilychandler3160

Being an "untouchable" around Hindus is not a good thing.

Yes ❤...."Untouchable"....

@@gordonanderson3111 Would you explain? I’d love to learn 😁

Hey love, we're in the same boat. Stay focused and strong. ♥️♥️♥️

For me, it was the step dad that forced my mom to choose between him and me, and later the younger brother who survived the abuse by becoming a clone of the step dad. I still can't escape them three decades later

Yes. She passed but said before that she had arranged for this to continue after she left. She predicted that I would run out of money in a few years. Only child. Relied on me since she was diagnosed with lupus when I was 9. Leaned on me then abused me.

are you talking about my mother ?)

Cynthia, me too my father and older sister. 💜

I would have said the same thing 10 years ago don't always count on that to be the case these are Master manipulators as long as me and you have breathed as long as they have been breathing they have also been manipulating this is what they do for a living the only important thing in their entire universe as themselves no else that I mean no one no one no one else comes before then we Have No Boundaries No Limits and they will cut to the white meat we will not do that as an empathic person we have limits we don't hurt those that we love her care about or even strangers they don't mind doing all of the above I can billion times over if it gets them what they want and then include smearing your name and convincing others that care about you that you're not worth caring about please listen to me when I tell you don't always count on that

@@aprilpratt775 Despite clearly contradicting my first comment by saying this, I need to give you an example as to why what you're saying is right.How's this for master manipulation.I had a Police sergeant pull me over for a random license check in my car & he blew up at me like I was some sort of homicidal maniac when he realised who I was.His co-worker whom WAS what I thought to be a close family friend had been telling him that I hadn't been showing up to work & that he'd been having to take time off his work as a Policeman to fill in for me.The thing is that I've never not shown up for work ever, he was just using me as a scapegoat to not show up to work & blamed me for that to his sergeant.What a manipulative liar...& now he says to those in my social circle why he can't understand why I haven't wanted anything to do with him for the last 10 years

@@carpathianken one more thing my bad I absolutely cannot believe that I'm not been in more trouble for this by now up until this point I have done nothing but speak my messages instead of sight them so I'm not illiterate I promise I'm just the biggest ball of nerves all the time and I can't find time to sit down and breathe or even pee let alone type out messages :-) because grammatical errors drive me crazy but I had to clear that up LOL I'm wishing you luck and sending prayers your way keep your head up

I have lost a couple of friends thanks to my former boss who has done the gas lighting thing. I have reached out to them but they have chosen to not respond . It hurts but I will be okay :)

True!!! 💯

Kathryn Sullivan He’s never held accountable for any actions or things he says. 😢. I’m blamed for everything, yet I’ve been the one over the years that has tried to work things out. He knows how to pout and say things like, “I really love her”, and “I really love your mother “.

Yes, absolutely right. Going through that now.

@@carolinesand9711 Excuses... it works for him for years.. why should he change his program now, when it works for Him?

In my situation my wife started an affair with a narcissist. I was amazed how many "friends" disappeared. What was clear to me was that the best thing as a target was distance. Clearly this narcissistic paramour was being supported by my now ex-wife at the time. Later she became the victim. Being outnumbered and available as a target was not a good situation for me. As explained in this video, for me this was a gift as I could see exactly who my wife was, the betrayal and many of the "friends" were not really friends. I moved countries for work and ...it took time before the narcissist was outed for the person he was. But it happened. Eventually the narcissist is often clearly exposed.

Extremely painful. I realize it now as an adult and lost many.

Yep and trying to then deal with it becomes impossible without making you look unhinged, which is the narcs evil plan.

This was done to me by "trusted church" people

Totally nasty behaviour. I have a family member doing this me. It’s so distressing.

@@colleeninprayer1498 Once you can see that it is the narcissist that has the problem it will be less and less distressing.

@@psalm148.1 People are going to Hell

Ridiculous

Same for me. I was recently invited to a family wedding, I spent most of the time sat on my own, the Bride and Groom made a fuss of me but not one other person would talk to me because of my controlling Mother. At one point everyone was in a massive room with myself sat alone on one side and everyone else on the other side. I’m a grown man but when I got home and shut the door I cried like a baby. I’ve done nothing wrong but feel like I’m being punished.

@@hardlines2635same, I’m a guy that’s going through this right now at the hands of my covert narc mum. She’s turned everyone against me and it kills to think about the shit everyone believes about me.

❤

That is so hard. I overheard my sister reversing our roles while talking to her boyfriend at the time. I couldn't believe it and then I kicked the ice chest on my porch and she looked down from her balcony, saw me, turned this insane color of gray and from then on she's been a worse devil lol. I thought it was creative or imaginative but she just literally says I act like her and she acts like me lmao!

True, but I believe that the red flags are there. We just happen to ignore them.

True

if someone is too eager to know you thery'e probably a narcissist,here's your first warning sign.

Thank you cuz for the life of me I couldn't understand why people are so gullible about taking gossip at face value. 😔

@@sfr2107 WELCOME.

100% facts

@@williamivery1809 DEADASS.

So true.. and when you look at the people they all fit one of those if not all..

Same here. I’m probably going to have to transfer to another location because of him. There have been several complaints against him but miraculously nothing was ever done.

Same here. I filed an HR complaint.

I had a team leader who openly abused me, whenever I started to answer back she said HR will take my side. I challenged her and she said" you being rude". I said prove it. These self absorbed bs people have to be stood upto.

Are you sure, are people going to realize the games of the narcissist one day? This gives me hope.

@@ayseyilmaz3910 They will probably have to learn the hard way 😬

I'm instead just stuck in purgatory with nobody coming forward and even asking my side of the story

Same here if I had known that what narcissist do or the type of behaviour they have I would cut off them no clue narcissist exist what a drama and truma of life

A true friend will try to bring up any positive side of you in a malicious gossip to balance the situation behind your back. If they don’t then there is not a true and healthy friendship there to begin with. You better walk alone, as hard as this may seem, and wait for karma do its thing.

I've defended people in their absence and they turned around and betray me at the end of the day friendship is a two way street

I so get that.

Same Sam

It's sad that someone would even think that they are punishing you, they're just showing how insecure and unhappy they are at their spirit. I feel even sadder for those who use their status or money to show how close they are to the ground with their feelings, maybe depression... God gave us all free will, even to use and hurt others... praying for you hon (my narcissist, because they may read this) :) no hate here for you. God loves you. He's using you to answer my prayers.

@@celv181088 Huh? You are saying I am a narc?

@@celv181088 ok, thank you kindly

@@debstein8685 You're welcome.No I’m agreeing with you. Was just saying what aI think of a narc I came across. This kind of people insist on enforcing their “power” o ver others, but the reason learned is that deep down they truly believe that the victim is better than they are, so they spend their time, energy, and money into convincing others and themselves that “No! this person is not better than I am” pfff, Still trying to erase this comment because everyone shouldn’t know they are envious of their victims.

Yes, you hit it on the head, they thrive on hurting others ! F ing sickos !

Easier said then done if the narc manages to control the parents as well

Same with my situation except their are other people involved that use the situation she created by framing me as a foothold to make their selves feel good and be able to get away with stuff too. (Do not report this i will not get helped and my family will just make up a lie on me and I'll get locked up in a mental hospital Which is worse than prison.) I have been going through abuse my whole life and now i'm nearly 18.Now my parents can get away with it even more easily. cause my mom has false diagnoses all over me 11 That i know of but I am sure there's more.Which I didn't actually start getting diagnoses put on me till I moved in with my mom for the first time when I was 10 which I moved back and forth so when I was 12 that's when she started getting serious diagnoses put on me.my family takes advantage of those diagnoses so now when someone makes a DSS report or the police get involved my parents can just bring up the diagnoses and the social worker or police won't even talk to me or look at my video evidence going back to when I was 8 over 320 Videos.My parents just say I am "hallucinating,delusional,manipulative,lying" the list goes on with excuses they can make.here are the people that are calling me crazy (THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ME LABELED AS INSANE,VIOLENT AND MORE.)⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇ (MY MOM she is first cause she is the one who got all the diagnoses put on me mostly by her self but with the help of Steven when he eventually came along) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxHdpwnsxPLoIc0ySGqo1t2 (MY DAD🌟) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxRDG9ajRU5Np94Xhco5HXW (MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxvOn_PGnjpgkW0cL5REW56 (MY SISTER although she is not the cause of the diagnoses and had no say so in it she does try to make it seem like I am the crazy one well plane out lying and that things aren't as bad as i think they are.#gaslighting) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHzG5KucsJdpwQPsJX4DckQl (HERE IS THE CHANNEl OF DAILY VIDEO EVIDENCE) going back to when I was 8 Of different types of abuse I go through. ru-vid.com/show-UCjkV9F3jkP3r-qVIHB3gwww. ⬆⬆has to be typed into google.here's a playlist VIDEOS IN CORRECT ORDER⬇⬇⬇⬇ ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHzaFRmkDx4pj9Fk0Kq5IVqr There are a lot of playlist that put the different things that are happening in different categories so if you want you should look at all the different playlist.some of the categories are specific people do abusive stuff that they do. here's one of the playlist from the channel.it has the videos in it that I think are the top craziest. ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHwyMQxKOXNcGygBaEo7coSZ So here is the channel focussed on what mental hospitals are like and how deadly antipsychotics are it's my story of side effects I had and how I almost died from the pills over an abuse cover up. with proof of the stuff i say in the description and video.it also give people advice on the description it really depends on what they know and believe. ru-vid.com/show-UCS9hlrcVz9SUw_anmcAXbIQ Tell me who is really crazy me or them? I already know I don't actually have the diagnoses everyone knows. ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHyP-MtrqCI4RwnCQvOt_9FN ⬆⬆⬆⬆There's people admitting it or agreeing look at the first video. people that have been around me and my parents have even told my parents this.Like girls my dad was around were questioning why I have diagnoses put on me that I obviously don't have and why I am taking pills that make my digestive system stop working, has me shaking with fevers,and makes me basically go into comas and lay in bed for 2 weeks straight

Amen ... 15 years NO CONTACT. ✌️

@@xahsinor4364 stay cool, if you react to their bad behavior, your the one who looks bad. The only way to help yourself is to stay cool headed.

@@betsy3075 I do at one point I got to my breaking point when I was 12 after getting abused and basically attacked once I moved in with my mom i no longer could take it.

Sounds like white supremacists i wish everyone would get it already and just love one another.

Which is why and how marathons were created!

@@lordraiden777 heaven on earth!

Nailed it

I say don't run. Destroy them by not playing, But going in for the kill. the only way to destroy an Opponent is to Effing Destroy them. This is war! YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER.... if the whole world becomes narcissistic, where are you going to run to then?!?

experiencing this now, your story gives me hope. i will wait and one day they will learn

I won't accept them back into my life. You survived for years without them, so continue surviving with them.

I wont even give them the shrug, I rather keep quiet and ignore what they said.

Yes, this exactly

I haven't experienced the return but I am going to say, your healthy attitude is beautiful and shows grace and composure. Good for you!!!

Yes exactly. It works the best and other people will find out the truth eventually anyway about the narcissist.

@@Mondoshawn usually, they do, but narcissists move to the next Target and repeat the same process. They have no conscious about what they've done, and it's sad that others don't understand what they are doing. This happened to me with one of my neighbors, whom I helped out on many occasions. I didn't see the betrayal coming and found out after the damage was done. The narcissist would continue to speak and talk to me as though nothing was wrong. They are master's in different disguises, and most people do not detect their hidden agenda.

It took me 42 years.

@@escapingnarcissists1549 50 for me.

@@loris80 oh my, I thought my 33 years was tough. I have noticed that I have picked up some traits out of their playbook and it has worried me. However, I try to be loving towards myself, it's a long road. And look, at our age ,we are still learning

You are not alone. When your former spouse turns your child(ren) against you, it's called parental alienation. My ex husband did that as well as the family of my 2nd husband after he died. My daughter sided with this family even though she didn't really even know them. But it worked cuz of the parental alienation that worked prior to that so it was easy for them to convince her that I was the bad guy. Parental alienation is very common these days. I've had close friends who also suffered from this. It's horrific.

You are not alone. I have been going through this hell. My narcissist ex turned my teenager only child, my son, against me. He started doing this since my son's childhood.

You are not alone. At all. Keep loving them. No matter what. Tell God all your hurts and feelings. Keep telling Him out loud.

I'm sorry

​@@mine1685Hallo for me IS the same,m'y daughter 22 Nevers talk to me nor answer the phone,m'y son 15en IS going the same way ,i tried everything possible i'm very ill and i should need help from them,i feel liké thé are waiting me to die i'm very sad and i dont knows what to do ,if you 've any suggestion should bé great i want to die in peace.already talk with psy

Same story here😒

Same here

I'm so sorry.

Same for me as well

once you realise that jesus is everything yr life will be good. to have the almighty lord as a friend is the best way to live and he will NEVER hurt you.

It sucks but I’ve flown solo in my own family to get away from my narcissist sister. I gained a lot back, but she’s reentered the equation again, and is already splitting the family up again. I keep my distance from all of them.

This is my story. My mother turned everyone against me. I’m an only child so now I have nothing.

No amount of feeling can describe their actions My niece has just gone insane with her smear campaign All my years I have never experienced such

FACTS

Dr ramani must have had a lot of narcissists in her life

@@messue428 Same but those people are ridiculous to listen to only one side of the story and judge everything by that. So good riddance.

In social and family relationships, that might be decent advice, but a smear campaign must be confronted in the professional arena as it can affect career, financial security, and even legal security. I know this from experience. My own life was set back by more than a decade by a narcissist’s smear campaign against me because I kept being the good person and going about my business, rather than confronting the rumors and simply asking people why attitudes toward me had changed. Just like melanoma, ignoring it won’t make it go away.

Sarah Kittelson, that is disastrous advice. These people are poisonous and cannot be allowed to lie without being shown up with the truth. Believe me from brutal personal experience.

I tried that and but for a miracle it would have cost my life.

@@monstermcboo7282 👍💟

@@bobtaylor170 ‼️👍💟

Thats my narc mother to a T. When she has a fight with someone in the family she will act like a victim and involve the maximum people as possible as if it was a community project. She has so much rage inside that she would be yelling the same BS or the events of a fight for months. And then it becomes the topic of the moment until she jumps into another fight. Its so pathetic. I always say to her that I dont want to be involved in her toxic stories so she makes sure to talk loud so I can hear the crappy details. It pisses me off.

@@independenthoney1 Your mom is a complete loser. Why do you even have contact? Get away from that insanity. It is not healthy.

@@independenthoney1 Yeah get away from your mother. My mother destroyed every area of my life. I can't believe what she did to me, the sadistic abuse was mind boggling but it took me my whole life to work out how utterly hideous a person she really was and her legacy lives on. Get away from her. FAR away and NEVER go back.

This!!!!

I've gotten to that point. Unfortunately ...I need to let go of my grown children and I wont be around for my precious grandbabies. But...I know they'll turn them against me eventually. Its heartbreaking!

I agree, BUT what if those FM"s have kids, your cousins and other contacts you want to keep in touch with/?

@@jaydeecee1643 Yes, same here. Incredibly sad.

@@LuketheFinn I have an update. After my narc daughter slammed me for whatever she thinks I did...She said "I still want you around"...I said OK...I've been to see her and my grandson and acted like nothing happened. My feeling is that I am done looking for validation or approval from my kids. I just don't care anymore. Let them think what they want. I'll continue to be nice and if they're shitty I'll just ignore it. The more I try to change their perception...the more ammo it gives them.

Him*

My covert narc sister precedes her awful comments/gossip by saying, "I'm worried about her" and blasts away with her toxic ideas. It makes me hate the people who believe her.

@@heathergraham652 That's the exact tactic that was used against me.

Heather Graham Me three? Damn, they all read from the same script.

Erika Wow! The predator admits it.

You are describing "Sheeba" a dental assist I had to work with for a while....very covert and very vendictive.

If a piece of gossip seems to negate what you already know about a person (or believe about a person) then ask for hard evidence to back their assertions - no matter how carefully couched in concern it seems. Proof doesn't lie, opinions do.

phemyda94 exactly! I just posted something very similar to what you said. You said it much better! To understand a narcissist you either have to be one or have been a victim of one.

B G that's where the narcissist eventually gets tripped up, details that don't match up.

So sad and true it's really unexplainable for someone to begin to understand the depth and pain unless they've been in this type of situation

@@terrylemal5163 Hello there .. YESSSS .. their actions don't match their words and vice versa .. they are malignant, they have a Batchelor's degree in pathological lying and are soul-less spirits ..vapid and empty...

@loveable rouge I am healing a day at a time. ❤️🙏🏼The defamation of my character was the hardest part but as all this time has passed nobody believes her anymore so the worst is definitely over. Thank you for the kind comment checking up on me!

Always does. I live next to one. Tried to turn me against neighbor other side of her. Found out she couldn't. So she enlisted a renter across the street, and her contractors. I wrote an email to renter's landlord because she threatenend me twice. As for all of us homeowners, everybody is against the narcissist, because yes-we all know the truth. As for renter, she will get discarded and nobody likes her because she has cussed all of us out. She will be alone. 🤷‍♀️

@@andreaberryman5354 that is sad.. :-(

Yes believing is seeing

@loveable rouge have you?

Thank you was so lost as it happened but as I ponder I realize they’re just insecure

I think you are spot on with two.

3. They are fucking assholes who doesn't deserve you

@livefree so true. Great comment

When your mother is a raving narcissist: 1. They like patronizing and on this occasion they look down on you with e.g. "What a terrible daughter you are, I would never behave that way with my mother... Did you consider that she will be dead some day and how sorry you will be?" 2. Your mother always tells them the compliments they want to hear, so they feel in honor bound to defend her. 3. They are mothers / fathers themselves and feel that parents must stick together ("After all, childen are always ungrateful" etc.) In any case: run for your life. Who is not interested in even hearing you out is not worth your time.

That's because without you around she has to find somebody else to pound on. But don't forget who those others have shown themselves to be.

Exactly

Like this one!

Good point. However, the people who should have known better, cause a lot of pain and disappointment by believing the worst and behave as if they don't care.

wow thanks!! 🙌🙌this mindset helped me re think my fear of rejection from their flying monkeys

No, then u missed the point of this whole video.... the ppl who know you are turned against you, even tho they know you. This is the pain and upset.. the truth is so easily ruined/tainted...

I remember thinking I had entered the Twilight Zone.

Yes it is a case of, well all seemed to be going alright as far as I was concerned 😟, then comes the narc to point out that that's delusional on our part! 😞

@@joseenoel8093 ❤

It led me to ego death. I literally detached from my personality because I lost the fabric of my identity due to the level of emotional abuse, gaslighting and invalidation of my ‘truth.’ People can be absolutely terrible

🤦‍♀️.if only people around cud be empathetic.n help heal

Absolutely

You are absolutely right. I found out a few years ago when my oldest sister and I were at the hospital with my mom. She started talking about how much her life changed for the worst when I was born? I couldn't believe my ears... She is almost 70 year's old. I am 8 year's younger, and all I could think was, seriously? You've been holding onto this like 60 years? The middle sister always helped in making me feel left out. This all made sense to me. I always felt left out and picked on, and now I know this is not anything I made up in my head. Thank you for your knowledge.

@@NOSHITification Exact same but I could see it since I was little. My mom turned everyone against me and her utmost to destroy anything I wanted to do, even turning my fiance against me. Now I'm the only one of her 4 kids that will take care of her 😩 so your not alone and welcome to your freedom . Cyber hugs from UK. Stay positive and get stronger and more happier as it will really p her off 😚😚😎

Very true

Yes.

I dont think i have to justify myself to everyone its so draining with their twisted minds sorry for the words. What everever I write is my issues of what I get from trolls.

And the Truth never dies. Never.

I think you have the best attitude to this situation. I had to hang on to the truth and trust that eventually it would be apparent to others. It’s terribly hard to have to do though and you have my sympathy!

Amen

@@allykatharvey awful

Rightttt.. I would let bygones be bygones.

A valid idea, but my ex is doing a number on my daughters. One has separate relationships with each of us and we love each other. When I hear her relate his lies, I simply move on. The youngest (27) is starting to repeat his narrative. We all live in different towns, so she goes and stays with him. I feel her changing towards me, but it is what it is. The other daughter has withdrawn from me completely. Last words? "I'll pick you up on Sunday and we will go out for your birthday". She didn't come, call or explain. She has ghosted me. I tried for nearly three years to re-establish contact. Regular, simple messages. Nothing back. But she did go and stay with her father. He could heal whatever is going on. He dosen't. I love them, but it feels as though I'm sending it into a void. I won't stop. BUT IT IS HARD NOT TO HATE HIM.

Say that again

They are not worth keeping around

Well yes if they are your adult child and your ex is using years of parental alienation. It makes it even harder when you suffer Chronic illnesses and are bedbound, so the of course the narcissist now has more to offer them financially as well as physically.

Wtfffff

My mother has gone though similar scenario in her family…. her aunt turned all her close ones against her…. Like my mother’s brothers and cousin sisters everyone stopped speaking to my mom like before and always sided my mom’s aunt…. Like she’s a angel to them ….. and the worst part was that my mother too believed that her aunt is an angel until I exposed her true face to my mom ….. now the damage is done and my mom feels lonely, but it’s ok she made many new friends and spends time with them

So sorry. I can't imagine. Stay strong

@@Blurufoodaz yes I think that’s the saddest when the victims don’t realise what the perpetrator is doing.

Good for you! My mom is going through the same thing. My late grandmother really did a number on my mom on multiple occasions. Put a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouth about my mom. A good family friend stuck with my mom and made her feel sane. Now that I’m old enough/mature enough to see the trauma my mom went through, she has yet another person in her corner (along with my siblings and some church friends). I can see her regaining health (she actually sent me this video 😂)!

Envy evil intent

And that's how it should be!! Some people for whatever reason are easily influenced..

Sometimes they might be the Truthteller, too. Targets can look like Smear Campaigners when they tell the #Truth.

If the Narc senses Your suspect, They will attack You also. Spot it and lend support secretively

This only happened to me once where someone wanted to "talk to me" about someone. I was kind of young but even then thought it was odd that they were talking so much crap about someone they always hung out with. I never paid it any mind until many years later that it happened to me... where one of my "friends" turned everyone against me and lied about it whenever I confronted him.

Like

Agreed

Currently hold this mindset. I see it to be true. On a journey of self-sufficiency and financial freedom

Exactly same in my case. It took years to figure out but now I know who is the next person she'll target to brainwash

@Tanya Brown Right! They weren’t real friends to begin with if they leave. You only need 1-2 true friends and family

Ditto

you should punch him right on the nose or sue him

Same. I developed such strong anxiety that I eventually developed a stutter. Due to her physical abuse I’m always on “fight or flight” throughout most of the day. The best part, when I try talking to her (just have a cool headed conversation) she says “ I don’t want to hear it”, turns away, and screams at you if you don’t shut up. Yeah, I know the feeling. I’m glad you made it out, may God bless you and your loved ones. 🙏🏼🦁🕶✌️

@@davidlefranc6240 Punch who!

My father did this constantly with all five of his children.

My friends mother sent her away to boarding school, when she told her mother about her foster brother molesting her, the foster brother got a huge 21st birthday party, she got a bunch of flowers. Its not blood that counts, it's who loves you.

WOW. Thanks for saying it out loud. ☀️ Stay strong while forgiving and setting boundaries.

If you miss your abusers without a doubt you're suffering from helinski-syndrome or stolkholm-syndrome.

Michelle Mykel House I think it’s different if it’s your mom. Having littles, it would be helpful to have her around, but sadly for safety reasons due to her refusal I have gone no contact. It is her loss because she’s getting older and missing her kids and grandbabies but it’s still hard for me when friends of mine get along with their moms and have support for childcare pretty much anytime.

Totally nailed it.

Yes , THAT PART!!

Amen

I understand, I had the same happen to me at about the same age. And it is hard being that young and being subjected to that. Sorry that happened to you ...

My mother started it when I was around 13-14 years- I was at her mercy and very much alone. She started programming my father and my two brothers. She painted the picture that she was ‘taming the shrew’ in me- she projected an image of me which was in reality not me. But the vicious cycle was that I began to rebel because my father and my brothers began to look at me and treat me with the warped up ideas in their heads that she fed them. I lost the love and support of my closest family growing up. I became an over achiever in school- thinking I could win my parents’ love and my brothers’ admiration if I topped it in academics and sports. But it didn’t- it sometimes backfired- kindling more jealousy, competitiveness and anger from my mother- she kept putting me down at every opportunity she got. She did a lot of gaslighting. Later she spread her tentacles to my husband, my extended family, my sisters in law and colleagues at work (unfortunately I was forced to work with her in our family business- which I regret to this day) She curtailed opportunities that I got to go further in my education- she stopped me from taking on a scholarship to do my PhD in Chemistry in Scotland by informing my husband that I might run away from him and my kids if he allowed me to go. She just cooks up stories and talks like it’s real. When it’s your parents it’s extremely difficult to distance yourself- and the world is very judgemental- especially the Asian society I live in. It’s a cardinal sin to cut ties with your aging parents. But a narcissist never changes. Now I’m 45 and still feeling that I was robbed of a happy life by a woman who actually needed therapy and an enabling father and brothers.

@@hasnaiflal5363 I'm so sorry this happened to you . My situation was similar. You have to think of yourself. You can't sacrifice your whole life because of tradition. Doing that you are playing along with some would call - MORE than toxic scenario. What is more important - not sacrificing a God given life or worrying about what others think ?? No one will reward you or think higher of you to go along with this nonsense and it will be all for naught. AND also you will kill the only avenue for change for your mother otherwise she will carry on till her death. If she doesn't take the chance at least one person can survive - you. PLEASE don't sacrifice your life anymore by someone who has let themselves be run by this darkness. I too thought you have to stay attached because their "family" - then I didn't. You can either leave completely or hold them at arms length with the least amount of contact And you MUST do that !!

Consider yourself lucky you figured it out so young. Now you have a whole life of being able to spot narcissists, avoid them, or deal with them in the right way (if you have work with them etc). It's like GOLD in the bank.

REMEMBER THIS; INTELLIGENT MINDS WANT THE FACTS AND BASE NOTHING ON HEARSAY..THEY KNOW THAT THE RUMOR SPREADER IS TRYING TO MESS UP A PERSONS LIFE..THIS TACTIC IS COMING FROM A JEALOUS ENVY PERSON..YOU HAVE WHAT THEY WILL NOT AND YOU ARE GIFTED IN WAYS THEY AREN'T..TO BAD AND I DON'T CARE.. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW ME AND THE ONES THAT DO LOVE ME..I'M PRIVATE AND I SEE THROUGH THE SMOKE SCREEN..I JUST SEE THESE LOW LIFE LIARS AS DUST BEHIND ME...LIFE IS GOOD AND JOY SPEAKS LOUD...GOD BLESS EVERYONE..LIFE IS HARD AND THEY TRY AND MAKE IT HARDER AND I GUARANTEE YOU THAT YOU WILL WIN BY LETTING THE TRUTH OUT BY BEING WHO YOU ARE AWESOME...THEY WEAR A MASK AND ARE FAKE SCAMMERS ..WATCH THEM CRUMBLE..WITH THEIR CRONIES FULL OF B/S BALONEY..HEHE HE..THESE PEOPLE CAN'T GET WHAT THEY WANT IN LIFE..THEY CON IT...AND WANT YOU NOT TO MOVE ON AND STICK AROUND WITH THEIR DEMONIC PATHETIC AS8ES....YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THE ABUSE TAKE THEM TO TRIAL..WATCH THEM CRY...REPORT ALL STALKING,SET UPS AND SCAMS TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AND CHILD ABUSE..THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ABUSE THEIR KIDS AND HAVE THEM HATE AS WELL...

The Narc comes across with complete sincerity.

@@angelaparmelee9983 yes, I have a sister like that.

YES, THEY ARE EVIL NO DOUBT ABOUT IT AND THEY THINK IT WILL WORK..NOT COPS FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER THE TRUTH IS OUT.. THESE MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE KNOW IT'S WRONG AND WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION..I'M SORRY YOU HAD THIS DEPRAVED ENCOUNTER..@@rjvasquez6385

@@rjvasquez6385 How do losers like that sleep at night? I mean, I could not even live with myself if I was such a loser.

when my older son was born my sister wrote him a letter saying we will make him fat ? ,I kept that letter she is a jealous and evil and I didnt realize she was on a campaign to get him, she really wanted him and now he is older her husband walked out on her so she needs a son and has taken mine, she chose carefully which son she wanted, now she has a bunch of friends she can control , my son , my mother and has everyone I know on her side, but Im strong and have people I know that dont know her , Iv joined groups , I go to night school and I have another son who Im looking after carefully ..she tries to find out about us through my mother but I only tell my mother things that dont matter, Im onto the evil witch ..

same here

So sorry. I know how you feel.

It’s happening to me too❤️

Same here. I’m still trying to figure out how to heal.

Or people who dont know what narcissism is.

Agree.... I am living with one. My sister in law. She has made my brother's life hell. He often thinks where he goes wrong but when told not to react or expect her to change, he loses it on me instead. I have decided to keep mumm. Let him deal and figure out his way. My parents think the same. They often question my decisions and actions towards her and my brother's attitude. I have understood this there's no point in changing them. Cut yourself out from such group of people, the ones who are narcs and also the ones who aren't ready to accept that they are living with a narc. Life's way too beautiful. You can't spend on something or someone unworthy. I have moved on and I wish my brother, parents success that they realize it soon and act wisely.

@@svsc07 These type of people can make a loved one, feel it's all their fault cause these Narc's play the victim so well.

Truth

Useful Idiots

I had many "friends" like that. Including virtual people online...Total farce. *No Contact* is the best decision a person can make. Good riddance! And yes, never reconnect with toxic turds because you're lonely... Or when they come around "wanting to know what's up", say they've changed or missed you etc. The best person to like is yourself. Don't look for validation in other people. Find it within..

😭 I have the same problem!! For years now, I regret it!!!! We became best friends not knowing who she was and I thought it would be a great idea to play Cupid and introduce her to my brother in law, 8 yrs later they are married and have children. It has been hell now sharing the same family 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Talk about losing my sanity throughout the years! I had my few bumps until I started doing research on what I was experiencing and little did I know this person was a narcissist the whole time made sense!

I made that mistake twice with two different narcissists

Right-projection. I just found out narc neighbor's son was a major alcoholic. Her husband used to beat her son. Her friend beats their dog. She called and reported other neighbor for beating his dogs and kids. She kept accusing me of being a drunk. It all makes sense!

It is better to be alone than to be lied on a day to day.

Your comment is so spot-on and quotable, especially the "It is not important who left you, just don't leave yourself." Thank you. You sound like you're really at peace.

@Vashti Jones 25% of people will like you and won't ever be swayed, 25% dislike you but can be swayed to like you, 25% like you and can be swayed the other way to not like you, usually by the 25% of people who will never like you no matter what. That last group usually has an agenda that you stand against or don't fit into and it's nothing really personal. That group will look for people who share the same ideology as them. The third group disengaging from you is the most hurtful. However, we don't see the other people who start to like us, group 2, because we're so concentrated on the people who left us. In the end we all have the same individual who will always stay with us. The one entity that every major religion in the world believes in, and that's God. No group of people can change his mind against you.

As a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ, He did not defend the truth when Pontius Pilate asked Him what is truth? Pontius Pilate was looking at Jesus Christ and knew that He was innocent, but still went along with the masses to have him crucified due to the smear campaign of the Sanhedrin (Jews elders) who hated the truth. He felt that truth was relative. Hold to the truth of who you are and stand strong. The truth will prevail.

They enter like a parasite

@@aharry31 Unfortunately some narcissists who call themselves Christians do the same thing. You confront them and ask for an explanation or the truth of what they have been doing and they 'become like Christ' and do not answer, saying that, like Christ, they are being persecuted. They then play the victim card and you look like the abuser....

They will not. And they don't have to.

Yes! I've had people I didn't hardly know follow me... And stare me down. They're bullies

Exactly, like all of a sudden the details of our private lives are under a microscope. The issue at hand is that everyone thinks they know you when in fact they only know the lies that have been told.

...This!

@@accountcompromised2166 so true and I dont even know these people but carry on

@Silver & Cold same here

Right?! Like "if you're so into control, why don't you just control YOURSELF?!" ugh

@@soblue315insecure narcs need every ounce of importance they can ascribe to their image

These people get a high from destroying their victims. It’s truly like a drug.

I equate it with rape.

@@soblue315 wow well said. Lol