What To Do When Your Husband Doesn't Want Sex - Sheri Mueller & Erin Smalley 

Lifting you and your marriage up in prayer for healing and restoration. Focus on the Family provides wonderful counseling referrals and resources. The book provides insight into new ways to communicate your needs and to potentially understand some of the potential "whys" in your husband's world.

What were his first symptoms, if you don't mind sharing. I ask for my own marriage because my hubby is avoiding the doctor like the plague. He just turned 60.

We're sorry to hear that. We'll pray for you and your marriage and we're glad this talk could provide some help.

So true

I agree. Shame was used to describe one reason this topic has been hidden by wives about their relationship with their husband's for so long. It can be challenging to portray the whole heart of a book in a 20-30 minute interview. If you decide to read the book, the words rejection, loneliness, embarrassed, alone, starved, deprived, and ashamed are used throughout. Everyone's experience is different, so to define a too long wait period depends on many layers. The book also addresses the dangers of indifference and what if nothing changes.

If you’d like to talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). Just give your number to the Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone. They will pass along your phone number to one of our caring Christian counselors. One of them will return your call just as soon as they’re able. We hope to hear from you soon. - Steve L.

Lord, I lift this marriage up to you for healing.

Have you thought about asking to watch it with him? The marriage bed is undefiled.... Keep in between the two of you

Praying for you right now sister in Christ.

That’s interesting

I lean toward disagreeing with this observation on many levels as one of the societal myths that is perpetuated in movies, TV, and through distorted perceptions of female sexuality.

If a man knows how to give pleasure to their mate it would change the world for them and it would not be a chore

I wish those people would get together. Match made in heaven. Lol😂

@@sherim5943 I’m basing my observations off of real life conversations.

So shower together make it fun

How did you stopped to be addicted?

Yes that is a great question

Very true! The thing is that way too many people forget about this issue, not to mention how they dress a/o other things that brought them together. I think it’s that people get too comfortable with each other and start taking each other for granted! After a few years that begin to feel / think that they are stuck with each other, which is the worst way to think in a relationship. I’m not married, but these are some of the issues that have come btwn me and the many women that I have dated a/o lived with.

Wow that a lot of information

Thank you for sharing @jessyjonas4988! God bless you! -Luna H.

Yes, I to am trying the other things

What do you mean.. past it?

Neurodiversity is discussed in the book.

So you're saying that you only married her because of what she looked like. I guess emotional compatibility didn't factor into that equation huh. Maybe that's why she's gained so much weight? Truly if someone feels that they are loved and appreciated they are going to want to be attractive. Emotional neglect can wreak havoc on a person and make them find solace in food

So what happens if one of you become disabled and does gain a lot of weight? What happens if one of you comes down with some kind of illness and gains a lot of weight and can’t lose it? That kind of superficial desire for attractiveness based only or even mostly in looks is not what can sustain a lasting marriage.

@@jseehowitsbeen3177 She was bucked off her horse 2 years ago and broke her elbow and hurt her back. It was about 12 months until she was A1 again. We adjusted diet and she trained as she could until she was back in the saddle figuratively and literally, riding and gym wise. Didn’t lose a pound and didn’t gain one either. Letting ones self go is from lack of discipline, all body builders and fitness athletes know this. Being injured or sick can be hard but if youre careful and disciplined it won’t matter. Living the way we do works for us. Living the other other do seems to work less well. You’re defending your opinion which is fine, I’m going to assume you have a different perspective because of your lived experiences, which aren’t that of a pro builder - take my word on it, it’s better to be jacked with a hot partner than not.

Focus on the Family has counseling resources that I would highly recommend, even if your husband will not join you. The book - I Want Him to Want Me - addresses several of your concerns with some potential solutions that could not be covered in the 20 minute interview. I lift you and your marriage up in prayer.

It is very difficult to address all scenarios in a 20 minute interview. The book - I Want Him to Want Me - addresses several scenarios that are of concern to you.

That’s just what it is

Pity party

???

@@kimberlygreidanus5639it ok have confidence in yourself

Yes weight can be a issue

@@robertshriver8392 An issue that arises for both members of a marriage.

No, it’s not.

@@omowunmioyedare From a Christian perspective? Because in terms of marital law, it’s called ‘alienation of affection’. Does anyone truly expect a husband or wife to live for years - perhaps decades - without physical affection? We ARE human, after all. Sorry, but no.

That's confusing because if somebody's alienating you from affection and you go to find it from somebody else didn't that person kind of set you up for failure.... Seeking attention and affection because they are denying you? I mean isn't this the excuse that a lot of men use.

@@dlight2669 and women

I kindly suggest that you consider reading the book (I Want Him to Want Me) with your wife, which might open your eyes because it contains a great deal more information than the 19 minute interview (including self-reflection for wives and husbands). Then pursue open and honest communication about what is causing barriers in intimacy.

Equally consider this how many men know how to emotionally engage with their wife so that she's truly feels loved and cared for. And how many men actually know how to pleasure their wife so that she in turn wants to give . Try it you'll reap 100 fold.

If a man knows how to make his wife loved and cared for and gives her pleasure she will self-reflect.

@@dlight2669 accountability is kryptonite for modern women.

​@@samuelbell3281truth

This is addressed in the book.

With all due respect, both women being interviewed are women of faith, and Focus on the Family is a Christian organization. I believe faith and science intersect. The book that is show in the background, I Want Him to Want Me, is written from a faith perspective but does integrate information on current research challenges about this topic. We may need to agree to disagree, which is the option we all have in being kind toward one another with differences of opinion. I feel it is difficult to examine this topic without a balance of faith, emotions, counseling, and science.

This is addressed in the book.

​@@sherim5943 😂