Everything this describes here is what was inflicted onto me during my time experiencing TOUGH LOVE in the name of Doctor James Dobson, whose name makes me physically SHUDDER.
He needs to stop interrupting her, but that is a small issue. I appreciate that Diane Langberg did not adhere to Tim s perspective on trauma survivors needing to change their “victim mentality” but rather focus on healing. With true healing, comes a God given propensity to move on with the life He has given to each of us. 💗💗💗
Doctor James Dobson, YOU contributed to my emotional and spiritual neglect and abuse as a child. Your philosophies also fueled my adoptive family to justify extreme ostracization after they left me with no resources to deal with the trauma that "Tough Love" caused in my life. You have NO RIGHT to own the feeling that you have helped innocent children. You have helped emotionally unavailable parents to justify their behavior. So many terrible things happened to me during my time as a child experiencing TOUGH LOVE, which by the way is Biblically untrue. Not once when God describes love does he include torture and emotionally manipulative pain.
When the circuitry of the brain has been rewired as a result of a marination of cortisol education on how the brain works is essential in order to remap the circuitry in a functional way, not necessarily focusing on the addictions but rather on the cure, especially if it was a result of abuse of power in the church that was partly responsible for high levels of cortisol.
What are people to do if they have past and present ongoing trauma???? Memory loss? Bits and pieces? Having to live with the people that cause trauma now? Ongoing chronic illness, very traumatic for me? There is so much not addressed here and I need to find help for the situation I’m in. Guidance, please!
I could have written this post myself- when I read it I though I HAD written it. The church cannot deal with severe and ongoing mental ills and trauma. We are directed to prayer and to Jesus who does not always heal mental or other ills. There is a fantastic doctor specializing in early and lifelong trauma, Dr Bessel van der Kolk, unfortunately secular but with stupendous knowledge in this area. I’ve never felt more known or understood by anyone than this man. Churches and Christians often shun and look away, Dr van der Kolk is in the trenches. May god help us
@@JayneDurrell Many years ago, I used to hear statements as you have made here, that a person, even though they are standing on truth, is coming not from the sacred, but from the secular, and that this is "unfortunate." I just want to say that truth is truth. Truth arrived at through rigorous study and experimentation is not secular or sacred. If practiced by those who are honestly pursuing the truth and do indeed arrive at it for the good of humanity, how could that truth not be sacred? not be precious? There are Christians who have not used the scientific method to discover the truth but instead, like some of the secular "scientists," have twisted the evidence to "prove" what they want to believe to be true instead of letting the data speak. It was one of the fathers of psychology (Erik Erikson? or . . .) who could see that the people in the church were losing their understanding of the symbolism of the church, their understanding of the truth of the soul, etc. This is what motivated him in his study of psychology. Why did the church turn its back on the study of the soul, of psychology in decades past? It used to be a subject that was extensively taught in seminary and then taken out of the curriculum as a result of the Christian view of Sigmund Freud's work. At that point, the church began to abandon the study of the soul, the eternal part of humanity that Jesus died to save, to secular society and why it has taken so long to come to a detailed understanding of the effects of abuse on the human mind and body, especially in the context of the family where it does its earliest and most extensive damage. How dare the church criticize so-called secular psychology when it abandoned the study for what is often a form of Christian mysticism where, as you state above, we are directed to prayer and to Jesus who does not always heal mental and other ills. Agree. The church has taught that God wants to have a personal relationship with each individual. But for those coming out of abuse and family dysfunction, they don't have a clue as to what having a healthy relationship looks like because they have never had one. They also don't have a clear understanding as to how and why they got to where they are in life; with each individual choice that they made before they even had language, with each of those choices motivated by fear and the need to survive. They acquire a strange belief that one will become who God created them to be by reading their Bible, spending time in prayer, going to church, and sharing the gospel will change them like an incantation or magic wand. They don't understand the difficult work ahead that they need to do if they want their lives to be different. God already did His part of the work. He gave up His only Son who died a horrible death on a cross., and the continued work of sanctification which requires the cooperation of the one wanting to change. But the church has done little, in my experience, to disseminate the truth about the painful individual work of undoing the choices of one's past, of walking back and untangling the mess of false beliefs about ourselves and how we dealt with the pain of believing those abusive lies modeled and perpetrated by those who were supposed to be the ones we were loved by and needed to trust to survive and thrive. I know that understanding these things has probably improved in the church, but it is not the people of the church that have taken the lead on the subject. It is those in the secular community who have been looking for answers that have done the work and have found truth through vigorous study to find the answers to their pain. In all the years that I listened to James Dobson during the eighties in particular, did I ever hear anything on this personal level? It was right-wing politics, boycotting and protesting the symptoms of a traumatized society and culture where the healthy connection between children and parents for whatever reasons, had become rarer and rarer. As I look back at what I heard from Focus on the Family and the Christian Psychologist Dr. James Dobson; had he focused on the science of psychology or on Christianity and the teachings of Christ, that would have been a win. But the focus was on the family when it needed to be on the health of the inner life of the individuals that could result in and make up healthy, loving families. If this sounds like I disagree with you, I apologize. You are blessed to have found validation in the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. He is a seeker of truth. Dr. Jordan Peterson is also a psychologist and a seeker of truth and has recently found The Truth. Maybe Dr. Bessel van der Kolk will find The Truth as well.
This would be awesome if the guy would shut up long enough for Dr. Langberg properly answer without being interrupted. Good grief. You have the expert there and you keep talking over her.
From a Trump voter that has experienced complex trauma. "Do you feel better about yourself, having written your comment?" I hope you do, because with your mindset, you're about as happy as you're ever going to be.
