I watched this video and bawled. I was the Cami and Kolby of my previous ward, along with only a handful of other ward members. The similarities between our stories are shocking and disturbing-down to the talks on forgiveness being given in Sacrament Meeting. It’s like there is some kind of handbook about handling these situations in the most illogical and unchristian way possible. When the people who you trust to protect you not only fail to do that, but actually hurt you and then claim that it was God guiding that hurt- so traumatic!!! I am so sorry that you have had to experience this.
There might be an actual handbook on this. But that´s not even neccessary, the sentiments the church preaches and how the church is run produces the same outcomes everywhere. It`s the logical response if you look at how they handle everything else. They tell the girls to dress modest, not the boys not to look, be creepy or invasive. It`s the same ideology and way to look at the world behind it.
Standing ovation for these two. Standing up for what is right at the risk of your family, belief system, friendships and more is courageous and brave. Thank you both for your courage when you could have stayed quiet and kept your heads down.
100% agree. These people put children, the most innocent and vulnerable, first and foremost above everything else - as any good parent/adult would. They risked their entire social circle and community to ensure their children and other children were safe. Amazing people. Amazing parents. Well done. ❤
When my child was assaulted by a church leader, I understood the mentality of most ward members firsthand, just like this woman. And the excuses most members will spout! I still can't wrap my head around it!
I'm so deeply sorry this happened. I'm British and 'nevermo', and the whole content of this podcast is beyond shocking to me. I've got so interested in the mechanics of this "high demand religion" as John (kindly) calls it, and I thought I had a handle on how this sect sort of ticks.. but I had NO IDEA it would be like this, about something like this. About sexual abuse of children. Totally incredible and everyone involved in the coverup should be in freakin prison. I am so cross right now on yours and theirs behalf, and sad. Thank christ I'm an atheist, lol 😄❤️ All best to you and your family. I hope you have found community somewhere else cos these people are not worth it. I hope something like this never happens to them, is all I can say.
Stop calling these criminals "leaders", it is disturbing the level of brainwashing going on. Criminals can not be leaders of anything, only in cults leaders are criminals
Growing up I was LDS and my husband was Baptist - his father was a Baptist pastor - when they move to Utah neighbors kids weren’t allowed to play with him . We got married in the Baptist church by his father but I stayed LDS and he is still a Baptist!
Jason Reynolds told a story about how when he was in high school he had a teacher who bought the class a fish as a pet. He told them that under no circumstances could they touch the fish and if they did, they would be suspended, no questions asked. Some time later, he scoops the fish out of the tank with a net and sets it on the ground. Two young women run over and pick up the fish and put it back in the water. The teacher tells them they’re suspended, as he promised. As they’re leaving he tells them that they did the right thing and often times doing the right thing comes with consequences. Thank you two for saving the fish. This takes so much courage and we need more people like you in the world. People that are willing to stand up for the right thing even when it is unpopular and has consequences.
You two are 100% totally courageous number one I’m a Christian and you finally found Christ the Mormon God is not the God of the Bible thank you very much I wish Mormons would open their eyes the leaders do not speak for God
We were surprised that this was in our area. Somehow we never heard about this. Kudos to Kolby and Cami for standing up for the safety of our children and the need for transparency at great personal cost. Then they had to face their own faith transitions. That's a lot. Our hearts to yours.
In our area in Utah a similar thing happened. A bishop's kid assaulted a non-Mormon kid. When the police got involved, the wider community was furious with the victim and their parents. Appearances are more important than justice for so many and it is so disgusting.
Yup. Often those calling attention to other's bad actions are the ones criticized, ostracized, and punished. "Don't ruin X's life!" It's nonsensical. If X made choices, that when known, ruin their own life in anyway--that's the result of X's choices, not Y for being honest. There's a big difference between gossip and accountability.
And the nonmember probably really didn’t give a hoot about what the LDS Church members thought about them. Their opinions mean nothing because they don’t think for themselves. They don’t have a brain.
I'm thrilled that John mentioned Spotlight. There's a phrase from the film that hah stuck with me ever since I heard it, and that echoed in my mind throughout this episode: "If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one". I'm in awe of Kolby and Cami's bravery and persistence
Kolby and Cami are amazing examples of the kinds of people this world needs more of. They are teaching their own kids the power of voice and courage in doing the right thing, to never silence themselves, or to let anyone crush their worth or dim their light, but to have confidence in themselves and their intuition. That is so powerful for children to observe, rather than to sit down, be quiet, and obey without question.
Over 20 yrs ago my son disclosed that his friend and he had been sexually abused by his friends LDS step father. No police but that family was relocated to another state in Australia. No leader would talk with me even when I asked by placing notes under the bishops office door for help. I left the church with my children because that was the final nail in the coffin as evil was ruling this situation.
My mother didn't believe me and even though my family is atheist, I just want to say thank you to Kolby and Cami for speaking about this in such a respectful, precise and heartfelt manner. It heals my heart and I wish you and your family all the best ❤💖
Someone in our neighborhood. Also a member of the bishopric at the time, was convicted of having child pornography. He also has many children. My daughter was going to girls camp at the same time and absolutely no one informed me and my husband. I found out on the sex offender website. Needless to say we resigned from the church many years ago now. It was just one more straw…
"... the LDS culture of conforming to authority vs following one’s conscience and the fallout of doing the latter." I could write a book about this. It's so so so harmful to give these folks so much power. As well-intentioned as some are, far too many people have been hurt by giving complete deference to these untrained clergy. Thanks for bringing this to light!
That's something that gets me as a never-mo. The fact that these people are "called" as clergy with absolutely no training makes no sense to me. I have been brought up in New Zealand with the very traditional churches, mostly: Presbyterian. Anglican, Catholic, Judaism, Methodist etc. There is Mormonism and we do have Jehovah's Witnesses and the Megachurches are finally making an appearance here. But in what I refer to as "traditional churches" the clergy are always trained in some way. These guys are getting no training, they have no idea how to relate to their congregants and they end up doing some really screwed up stuff.
Cut the B.S, there is no training to make this cult better. The cult is infested by narcissistic pedophiles and the only solution is to stop it. Make it illegal. If adults are stupid enough to believe in Kolob, lost tribe of Israel, book of mormon, etc. I don't care, adults have options, they can go after wisdom or go after stupid ideologies. But children must be protected from this cult. It is too much bla bla bla and no plans to solve anything.
I joined the church in Kentucky in 1999 and moved to Utah. This wasn't as happy as I was struggling with the Word of Wisdom. I finally got temple worthy and was endowed. The ceremony was so bizarre that I went home and took off the temple garments never to wear them again. I ended up moving to Ohio where I resigned my membership. Mormonism was a terrible part of my life. I'm glad it's behind me now.
This breaks my heart! I know the families involved including the abuser in this particular case. This abuser fooled so many people, including his wife. I pray for her as she holds her family together and moves on after this shocking tragedy. 😢
So sad. I think it goes back to the purity culture , these parents in the ward were freaked out about having to have a talk about homosexuality and molestation and just sex with their kids. I can't imagine not being outraged and greatly concerned in this situation. It's been 2v years. I hope it formed out OK. This story is just crazy
YOU BOTH DID THE RIGHT THING. And what an amazing example of your hearts. It’s one of the hardest things a person can do, stand against everything they’ve been taught since birth. Proud of you guys.
This story isn't a one-off. It was shocking to me, from my own personal traumatic experience, to discover that the leaders didn't have discernment, that male leaders who abuse are protected, and that the victim is told to "forgive and forget," even as the abuse continues.
It was noticeable that in all the statements of the leadership and of the defenders of the former bishop there was no mention of any concern or compassion for the abuse victims. No one was praying for them. 😢
"Bishop was released for sexually molesting 2 children....... and now is in prison......he's pled guilty." - - I have a good friend that did 4 years in the federal penitentiary system for some white collar stuff he did back in his early 20's. (He got bad advice on something) He's a good guy. Learned a hard lesson. And is no doubt, the kind of guy you want as a neighbor. But his stint through the justice and penal system clued him into A LOT of things most people don't know or think about. He said, depending on the charge a lot of people will just take a plea because the amount of time and money it would take to win, isn't worth it to some. Said he served some time with a lot of guy that just pled out even if they had a good case they could win. But he said, "One thing absolutely NO ONE pleads out on is crimes involving children. If you are accused of harming a child and you didn't do it, you will fight it until your last dime and your dying breath. So when someone actually pleads out on child crimes, or just pleads guilty because they don't have a defense; it's very telling that they really did it. And they are the absolute scourges and pariahs of the prison population. No one wants anything to do with them.
also it baffles me that people didn't realize how serious it was, like, y'all understand what it means for him to admit to that he sexually abused a child?? What part of that did they find excusable? What on earth makes that something you can defend?
I am an RN and some of the worst beatings of jail inmates were those beaten by other inmates because they were in jail for crimes against children, especially child sexual abuse!! Other inmates will KILL then if not stopped in the act of the beating!! These I have patched up in the Emergency Department many, many times over the years!!! To inmates these people are worse than serial killers!!! It's really difficult to patch up a person you would rather never cross your path. So if someone's pleads guilty and goes to jail rather than getting convicted you bet your bottom they were REALLY guilty to begin with!!! And most will request solitary confinement because they know mingling with the general prison population might very well be the end of their life!! Even hard core inmates detest child abusers!!!!
Even though I have left the church this is my ward. I appreciated the emails from Brian Tooley and Kolby. Because of their courage, I was made aware of the situation and I was able to ask my kids about their interaction with Ex-Bishop, who was their youth leader/teacher for many years. Thank you for speaking up. Thank you for truly following the example of Christ. I am proud to know you.
One more thing. You did the right thing. As Porter Rockwell once said, "the time will come when you will tested for the steel in your spine and the grit in your gizzard. Went that time comes you stand up for what is right." Please don't conflate the institutional Church with the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know from personal experience that over time doing the right thing will always prevail. The days will come when the dust of the earth is back where it belongs and there will those who glance away not because they judge you as doing wrong but because they are embarrassed that "they" didn't have the courage to stand up like you did. Always stand up. I think that is what brother Dieter uchtdorf meant when he said, "the restoration is still taking place."
I thought that what they were standing up for was self evident but your question is important. They stood up for informing the parents of children who may have been victims of inappropriate behavior by this man. Sexual assault is one of the most heinous crimes in this life and must not be ignored to protect the supposed integrity and good name of the Church.
@@jferristube I thought the point was self evident but perhaps your question is held by others so I will give a detailed explanation. Sexual abuse is one of the most heinous crimes especially when children are the victims. In such cases parents of children who may have been involved with such a criminal need to be made aware of any possible inappropriate activity so they can help instead of being kept in the dark. The guilt, shame and trauma caused by such crimes need the light of day not silence to protect the supposed integrity and good name of the Church.
7 0r 8 years ago my daughter was hospitalized for an illness. They saw something in her uterus that was suspicious for cancer. They brought in a gynecologist that was on call to examine her. Luckily there were 4 or 5 female nurses in the room as well as myself. He appeared to be a nice, jovial guy. So months later my daughter screamed "Mom, there is a picture of that Gyno that examined me in the paper. Apparently he had child porn on his computer and was also distributing it. He had a leadership position in his ward and used his influence to abuse young girls in the ward. We also found out after that he was my cousin's gyno. The most disgusting part of this interview is that the church leaders s!oh pray for the bishop, other church leaders and pray for the perpetrator e .
Thankyou for sharing this difficult and sad story and having the courage to listen to your inner voice and conscience and challenge a system that is not safe for those most vulnerable in the case of child abuse. The actions and inactions of a powerful corporation seem to trump any evidence of a church that cares for people and professes to follow and exemplify Jesus's teachings. But the real legacy of goodness that is not bound by cultural conditioning, shame or self preservation can continue in the heart and actions of those who follow conscience over culture and seek for what is right for humanity and individual people above all else. Thankyou for your integrity and courage.
Just have to say. Now that the church has made the formal comment that they stand against abuse in all it's forms... It's just not enough, too little too late at this point. Loved this interview, thank you for being brave and sharing this message.
@Kolby Reddish - Fight the good Fight! Way to stay strong and do the right thing in spite of the hardship. You have my support! I respect the way you framed the church system instead of the people. Just because something is legal (reporting system) doesn't mean it is ethical. Yes!! The church needs to be held accountable.
@@reddish22 just finished listening to you guys on Mormon Stories. You guys hit on so many points that I am feeling at the beginning of my faith transition. I was grateful to hear someone’s story that are still keeping their faith in Jesus Christ, it seems there are so many that leave that as well. :(. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife.
It was a private matter happening in the private home of the bishop with his step daughters. The bishop was not found to have been inappropriate with anyone outside of his own home. It was not a church issue. Kolby wants to be a hero but realistically kolby has always had issues with church and has always wanted to be praised. Parents that could not call him out and tell him he was in the wrong. Self righteous. Again.. not a church issue. It was a private family issue.
@@Godinetfamily I don't think it matters whether he was abusing kids at church or not, does it? The former bishop is a pedophile. That's a fact - he confessed to it. It becomes a church issue as soon as the church puts a pedophile in a position of authority. In the church, bishops are expected to conduct interviews with children behind closed doors. Often times this is still done one on one without parents present (although recently the policy was changed to allow parents to be present). Would you want your kids to be interviewed one on one behind closed doors with a pedophile? That's why this is a church issue. The church is responsible for creating safe environments for its members at church. That includes NOT calling pedophiles to positions where they have increased access to children.
@@bryankm2 yeah it definitely does matter when Kolby is trying to imply that the victims were youth in the ward “the victims sat in the congregation”. The church cannot get involved in private family matters which also makes it matter. It would be impossible for the church (or any organization for that matter) to identify every single pedophile or dishonest member. Unfortunately these situations happen and that is awful. But Kolby wanted what? The stake president to get you and air all of the details of the private matter to the ward members?? To finally stick it to Dylan because he’s had a life long envy of him and now Kolby can be the hero? This situation (kolbys story) is so multi faceted and manipulative.
this is horrifying. I can’t imagine how anyone, regardless of religion, could be so grossly negligent of innocent children. I’m so glad there are people like Cami, Kolby, Brian, and Natalie. they are truly showing christ-like qualities and proper moral judgement. (edited because I caught Natalie’s name)
The more stories I hear like this the more validation I get for leaving. I’m learning that I don’t need validation from anyone else but me. This is SO disgusting in every way and I’m so glad I left. I just hope that the church changes policies like Bishop interviews and background checks, and how to report abuse. Until then we will unfortunately keep hearing stories just like this.
Good for you! But to leave, knowing how destructive it is and not do anything to abolish this cult, it is selfish. There are a lot brainwashed people that need help to get out. Do something and help others
Something pisses me off so much in all of this... For a man who does such things as child abuse, it is asked to forgive and not judge... A teen girl who gets sexually involved with a guy gets shamed publicly ! The forgiveness takes much longer and when people gossip about that girl nobody says "oh you shouldn't do that forgive and pray for them" ...No it looks more like my children will not be in contact with that girl ... but for a child abuser they are fine forgetting it ?! I am so grateful that i found this channel and these informations .
This story made me actually sob. I am not Mormon or LDS, but this is the story of what happens in hierarchical systems. Patriarchy, whether we are LDS or not, works this way. It systemically destroys everyone down the pyramid. After leaving my childhood church, I became Episcopalian, and I love my small sweet parish with a gay priest, many gay members, and some of the dearest, kindest people I have ever known. But outside those walls and up the hierarchy I have had soul-crushing experiences. I can hear this deep love of Christ in this couple. You are in my prayers and your courage is inspired by the example of Jesus Christ who acted as a servant and washed his followers' feet. He had no bishops, no PR consulting, no big bank account, and no legal department calling the shots to protect endowments. My love to you.
Every person can have their own direct relationship with their Heavenly Father. Each of us is responsible for our own actions and will answer for them one day. We don't need a particular church or pastor or preacher to tell us what we must do in any situation, or that what they do and what they say has to be obeyed. I didn't have to face sexual abuse for my son's when I was a Mormon but there were many things I thought was out right ridiculous . For instance when my son's were teens it was the fad and style for teens what to wear and how long hair was in. My older son let his hair grow down his back and had it shorter on the sides and top. He kept it clean and neat. He had gorgeous hair any girl was envious of. It was a blonde color , thick and fell in wonderful waves all the way down his back. I didn't mind at all as long as it was clean and neat. The Bishop called him in and told him he had to cut his hair because he represented the church! He was to get it cut short and over his ears!! Also he was called in for wearing frayed at the seams jeans to youth activities. My son wasn't going with numerous holes in the jeans and body parts hanging out. He was a trend setter for the kids at his school. His 501 Levi's were double stitched along the seams. What he did was meticulously pick out the outer seam only leaving a small fraying along each leg seam! Then he made a small peace sign cut out over the left knee only. That is it!! Within 3 days all the kids in his school were doing the same to their jeans. And he posted them with a black T Shirt with a big round yellow happy face on the front. I didn't mind the look at all. I told my son he didn't have to cut his hair or change his dress style as long as it was clean and neat. It always was!! My son always said every picture he saw of Jesus he had long hair!!
I have avoided this episode since it came out. Somehow I knew it would break my shelf, and that it did. I can no longer contribute money to a corporation that hides such horrible abuses. I can no longer keep my head in the sand that keeps me feeling safe and comfortable. What if that was my own child?! It very well could be, because the culture does not make it safe to come forward.
Thank you so much Cami and Kolby for sharing your story. I am an ex Mormon and thought about going back to the church just for a visit, but your story absolutely solidified that I did the right thing when I left years ago. I too served a mission and truly believed everything the church taught. I still miss the community.
Kolby and Cami - I don’t know if you’ll see this but if you do, please know that I’m rooting for you and am so grateful for your courage in sharing this story. I think it has been the most impactful episode for me thus far in 2022. I’m a never-mo (although I have family that converted) and love how the time was taken to explain concepts to those of us that are interested in learning about this high-demand religion. I was raised devoutly catholic and while I had struggled with my beliefs for a long time as an adult, seeing the movie Spotlight irrevocably broke my shelf (to use an expression I learned here). I was incredibly disheartened, disgusted, and have not stepped foot in a church again since.
Thank you for sharing that with us. We'll share some more about our newer beliefs tomorrow, but we still keep a belief in God, just a very different God that really only acts in our lives through comfort and kindness. We believe that Christ's message to help and love others is the only way that miracles happen. I only share that to say I hope you have landed at a peaceful place. We're still new to this, but we feel very comfortable with our new beliefs.
Per the Reddish's experience, Mormon leaders consistently defended themselves by saying that they were just following orders. The Nuremburg defense didn't work for the Nazis and it doesn't work for these Mormon leaders.
I wondered when someone was going to make the reference. Some people say it’s an exaggeration but this is the EXACT same thing. It’s alarming and people should be alarmed but just like this situation being upside down, so are most things. It’s a constant mindblow if you let it be…
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I have so much admiration for this couple for doing the right thing. I am not Mormon, but I was raised in the Catholic Church (almost as bad). As a child growing up in the 1960’s I was sexually abused by my bio father for many years. I had no voice. No one spoke up for me. No one stood up for me. It’s still happening to too many children in 2022 but at least it is talked about more and people are being prosecuted!!!
A former bishop of mine had physically assaulted the son of my friend in the church building gym while he was then serving as a YM leader. She should have pressed charges, but didn't at the request of the Stake pres who asked her to forgive him and move on. This man was not released from his youth calling. Most people didn't know about this and the few of us that did find out and talked to the Stake pres about it were told that we believe in forgiveness and to just let it go. This man then served as our bishop working directly with the YM again and I watched him like a hawk. It was so disturbing to me that they would put him in that role. I later found out he physically abused members of his family. Why, WHY do we ignore the warning signs and continue to do damage to our people this way? It's devastating.
That's insane to me. Good on you for keeping a sharp eye on him. I really don't understand why the church does this other than to just keep the illusion that they're all good people. But do they want that image so badly that they will refuse to do the right thing? Just crazy
As a parent- if my child was molested I wouldn’t have stayed silent. How sad that the children saw their parents stay silent, and listen to speeches on forgiveness. I would have stood up and screamed at everyone that day. I know the parents are victims too from indoctrination but I cannot comprehend how they stayed silent.
With sincere respect, you have no idea how you will handle it until you are in the situation. You might be right but you might also not be. People surprise themselves all the time…you would be surprised haha.
Sometimes speaking out puts your child into the limelight and makes their information public. That is often not the kind of attention they need to heal. That’s why it’s good for others to speak up. People in general, are not aware of how they victim blame in many situations. Even by saying things like, well we shouldn’t judge and wait until we have the correct information. Comments like that make victims feel like they are not heard and people won’t believe them. It happens ALL the time! It just happened at my kids school with a coach.
That all sounds insane to me! As an RN of over 30 years I can tell the fact is those victims will live with the emotional trauma for the rest of their lives!! A very precious part of their lives had been taken and they are left with the shell of that. It's even worse when very young children are involved. In the Emergency Department I assisted the doctor with a gynecological exam of a raped 18 month old girl. YES we do have tiny little instruments that allow us to be able to do the exams!!! This little darling was terrified!! There was no way for us to explain we were trying to help her. All she knew was that she was being hurt again!!! That precious little one had to go to surgery for all the damage that was done to her!!! She will never be able to bear children of her own!!! All this is left to her is the terror, the pain, and the full life she lost!!! When we worked on her that day, I did so with tears running down my face and mingling with hers!! I was horrified and have never gotten the images out of mind even after all these years and I still cry when it comes to my mind! I never learned how she survived as she grew up, but I also know because of psychiatric training that the horror of it all stayed with her and affected every aspect of every relationship she had. On top of that was the fact she could never be a mother herself!! I often wonder if she ended up a shell alone or if she survived enough to have a bit of life. No matter the age of the child, it will always be with them. Counseling helps but it's still there!!
Cami and Colby, you can find great happiness and joy outside of the LDS church. Now that you are seeing the deep wrongs that are happening in the church your eyes will be opened to so many other untruths, whitewashed histories and bald-faced lies that have occurred during the entire history of the Church. You two are just amazing and honest and courageous people. ❤️
By building your own close relationship with your Heavenly Father you will prosper and go forward no matter what established religion you may choose to follow.
Thanks for your courage to speak up! Here’s my question. If you went to the bishop and told him your neighbor had abused your child, what advice would they give? Would they try to handle it in-house? Of course not! They’d send you to the police! If you treat the offender more favorably because they’re in your in-group, you make your in-group a more dangerous place. We should expect MORE of our in-group - not less.
This is 100% proof that spiritual discernment doesn't work. Priesthood holders need to quit with the make belief that they got anything different than anybody else
Grown men regularly questioning children about their sexual habits, in private and unattended, mandated by the Church... what could possibly go wrong? SMH
Sexual dysfunction is so strong and runs very deep in the church, whether that be abuse, perversions, or general sexual dysfunction/problems due to the sexual guilt that is taught to every single member. I hope that in the future people can hold the church accountable for the trauma and dysfunction they have perpetrated upon it’s members, and further, allowed abuse to flourish.
I don't understand why there wasn't more outward outrage from the members of this Stake and/or a mass exodus. If this had been a teacher in their children's school and it had been handled like this, can you even IMAGINE the uproar within this Stake?!
It was an issue that was happening in the ex bishops private home with his own step kids. It was not ANYTHING that happened at church in any way at all. Kolby is being totally dishonest about the whole situation. Which growing you very close to Kolby and his family.. NOT SHOCKED.
@@Godinetfamily ummmm.... even so, what makes you think it doesn't absolutely make him a danger to other kids?? Diddling his step-kids in the privacy of his own home STILL is absolutely appalling. And it absolutely should have been disclosed to parents by leaders. Why are you making excuses for a pedophile?! THAT is more telling than anything.
@@Godinetfamily are you ducking kidding me. A pedo is a pedo is a pedo. The fact that your excuse is that he molested his own children so it’s not a public concern is madness. You have to be disturbed in your heart and your head to think a fucking criminal that touches his kids won’t or didn’t touch other people’s kids. Especially since he was in charge of the kids in the community. Do you stop to hear yourself!? Are you praying and actually reflecting on your words. Or are you so far gone that if your own child told he he hurt them, you wouldn’t believe them until a church leadership confirms it? Wtf is in the water over where you are!?
Also, even if the sexual crimes were restricted to his home, it’s a public safety concern still. He is a child molester. Don’t the children deserve protection. Even if the children are his? I mean, their mother or step mother is giving church talks while the children are dealing with trauma. What parent has time to do a PR run for a spouse that sexually molested their children. Every grown up in that ward should be calling child protective services to do home visits and assure that woman is in the right state of mind to be in charge of traumatized sex crime victims who are under age. I’m horrified at this mentality. Children in that place have my sympathies. Adults seem to care more about the church approval than their children’s wellbeing
@@anonymousone9699 I never implied any of what you said. Of course I care that a pedo is a a pedo and is dealt with accordingly but you don’t go burn the town down because he lived in the town. That’s ridiculous. I also care that liars are liars. And I think Kolby is outright lying in the video. I know Kolby, I grew up three houses down and his mom was my young women’s teacher. Of course he’ll pretend we didn’t but he and I know the truth and that’s enough for me 🥰
The Church failed and the State of Idaho and Canyon County failed even worse. A plea bargain that allows the offender to be paroled after only 3 years and the prosecutor will not object to the offender having his name removed from the sex crime registry once he's done his time. This shows how little we as a people respect women, it's criminal.
3:08:00 ---> 3:11:45 ~ Goose bumps from head to toe. And that last sentence .. I just cried uncontrollably. John 11:35 And this is not the first time I've heard this story from faithful families. Closer to the 100th time I've heard a family get ostracized for whistle blowing. My heart and soul ache for you. Sending y'all some love.
No one should ever be told to keep their mouth shut about crimes against children. The leaders should stand up and admit it, say that yes it will affect 5he church standing of the perpetrator , and will probably reflect against the church but it should be made public to protect the children and the public and we will do all we can to help those involved. Then give the help.
I pray for those pedophiles youve stopped . I pray for the kids that will.come to you knowing there are people out there that will believe them & feel safe
Kolby and Cami are amazing. Thank you for having them on and for their bravery for speaking out. This is bringing up a lot of emotion for me. I’m in my forties now, but just found out a few years ago that a leader in my ward was a child molester. It was brought up so nonchalantly (by my TBM parents) and it has been so hard for me to process. I feel like I have weird memories in my mind of awkward conversations with the bishopric as a youth…but it’s so blurry. Why any youth is meeting behind closed doors with grown men is beyond wrong. This. Needs. To. Stop.
Yes it does. I never did let my son's meet privately with the Bishop. So from the first my Bishop was aware I didn't mind my child's long hair and wasn't going to make him cut it!!!!! I was there for that meeting. I had told my son's to never meet privately with any adult unless their father or I was with them. Even teachers and principals at school. The boys were taught to simply stand right in the doorway and say they want one of their parents there for any discussion and then say no more unless they had to repeat what they had just said. These are children, not adults, Most adults should know better than have meetings with children privately!! Having a parent there prohibits lies, misunderstandings, and abuse!!!
I commend you both! As an abuse survivor - thank you for speaking up! The world needs more of you and less of what you had to stand up against. The fact you even had to have the conversation that you may lose your membership because you did what THEY (leadership of church) should have done truly speaks volume! And shame on those that judged YOU both- may you find joy peace freedom and a life apart from the church like i have🙏❤️
In his final little controlled message at your ward, The stake president had two goals: (1) CYA for himself and the church (2) to throw you two under the bus and shut you down. They did not want to protect children or find out who else had been abused. Members always trying to assume good intentions is a symptom of the church’s life long grooming of its own members.
We have a similar situation in our family, three abusers and one victim. The spiritual leader of the family, who is in the stake presidency is telling the victim and those of us that support the victim to keep our mouths shut. They are hiding behind the atonement, saying that they have already repented for it, although at the time of the abuse no formal action was taken. I feel like the friend Brian, I want to expose the problem so that the abusers can’t hide anymore and so that other victims feel safe to come forward but I feel like it’s not my place. I myself have am a victim of sexual abuse from a family member but haven’t been public with it. The irony of this whole situation is that the “spiritual leader” of our family was my bishop at the time I was being abused and I can’t tell you how glad I am that I didn’t one out as a victim. I can’t imagine the damage he would have caused in my life. I feel like I can’t keep quiet any longer but I’m afraid of the backlash that will happen with my family. I’m already labeled as the exmormon and so any reputation I had is already mostly gone. When John talks about that spiritual and social ghost town, I completely relate. No one, no one that I was close to before has reached out to ask how I’m doing or why I left. I feel like a plague in my community.
Hopefully Brian’s example can inspire courage in you knowing that at least you’ll have a clean conscience and know you did the right thing amidst the bobble headed apologists. You will probably be surprise at how many people quietly thank you and support you.
Seriously y’all NEED to watch all of this one. It is…I was speechless. (Actually JK I was flipping tables angry and HAD SOME MESSAGES FOR THE LOCAL MORMON LEADERS AND AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THIS ALL CAPS COMMENT IT WAS NOT VERY NICE.)
Good thing I was alone. Because nobody heard all the screaming I did. "Church Legal" is the most heinous anti-christ organization I know of. I hate LD$, Inc. more now, than I did 3 hours ago. "Even as ye have done it unto the least of these ... ye have done it unto me."
I experienced a very similar experience in 2019. This story is not about one crazy ward, this is the standard legal counsel given to local leaders and then they pass it off as something that was prayed about. The legal advise given to the child molester in my experience and his wife (my parents) was that reporting was not necessary and that they should not contact anyone to appologize. The church leaders sent my dad, an ADMITTED child molester, to their 12 step program and disfellowshipped him for 18 months. He then became a facilitator (leader) in the 12 step program and recieved all his priesthood rights back. Church leaders never went back to look at reports given to the bishops in the ward of girls 5 years, 1, & 2 decades before that he molested them, they just moved on. Finally in 2019, a woman in her late 30s was finally able to go to police about abuse she experienced in the 80s and 90s and all the cover-up started to show. Many other women came forward about molestation from the 1960s to the 90s. Just think how many girls (children 3-10ish) would have been protected if reports were taken seriously the first time. Just like Kolby and Cami, the molester was seen as a victim by many in the ward because he was now old and had served in the ward for so long, and the people speaking up were shamed as being unable to forgive and let the atonement work. They were called liars by some even though the perpetrator pled guilty in court. I stand with you Kolby & Cami and know a bit what you're experiencing. It's mind blowing how many adults will not actually do anything to to stand up for the abuse of children when it's from a man they know.
Ephesians 5:11 comes to mind about this story: "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them". This story needed to be told to church members. (I'm a Never Mormon but that doesn't matter because this could happen in any church).
Everything... I mean EVERYTHING you said, I can relate with. I knew two people in my childhood ward who had committed sexual assault. Multiple children were involved. The perpetrators were never prosecuted. Their victims brought their complaints to the bishop and stake president. Not only nothing was done. Not only did both perpetrators remain in good standing with the Church. But to those who asked what the Church leaders were going to do about it, they were met with contempt and complete disregard.
May God richly blessed you as you follow Jesus Christ! Keep reading the scriptures. I’m praying the Lord will give you His Peace as you share and crusade and stand up against child sexual abuse. I was a victim as a young child until about the age of 16. Thank you!
As a wife of a former bishop twice over this should never have taken place in the first place! The church does have in place now that no adult can be in a class without another adult present.. This is a safety factor not only for the kids as they in need of are our first and foremost protection but in rare cases the adult who might get accused of a crime that they didn’t commit.. it’s inexcusable that any child should experience this!
My heart breaks for the Reddish. Children of sexual abuse suffer and is horrible that the adults that are supposed to protect them are more concerned about apperience and forget the victims
That's right! That is what I don't understand. As a parent, you should be doing everything in your power to protect your children and it seems that they are allowing these people to abuse their children.
Hi Kolby and Cami. Thank you for standing up to the Mormon organisation.on this serious safeguarding issue. By way of support for you both I will listen to the next instalment. You are not alone.
I felt this episode so much. Kolby and Cami. You are so brave and courageous. Hard to challenge leaders when we are taught to blindly follow all our lives. I felt your pain and completely understand the pain of deconstructing. It does start to get easier the longer you are away from church and it's toxicity.
These two people are people of strong moral and spiritual courage. They are so much more intelligent and courageous than their so called “church leaders”. God bless them and keep them safe. Its about keeping children safe for the love a God!!!!!💔💔💔💔🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
This isn't about judging people THIS is to protect the children!!!! The church is harming everyone in the congregation by not facing it full on and handling it properly with the entire membership having full knowledge of what was done to rectify , change, or handle the perpetrator! What they as should do is notify the law if that was not already done!!!
I’m shaking in anger right now. The response that the leaders and some members gave, I just wanna give them some harsh words. I am glad I left that cult. I cannot stand to be in a system or a religion that doesn’t take abuse seriously and dismisses it. I can’t stand the thought of defending someone like that. Shame on those members. People should automatically be doing their best to protect children. They should be doing everything they can to protect them from harm. Not put them in harms way and let people with intent to harm to be in a position to lead. God wouldn’t harm children. End. Of. Story.
I’m no longer a member of the church for my own personal reasons. I’ve heard multiple times that the church tries to handle issues like this privately… in my opinion… it’s to protect their image. This couple is in the right! You can see how much they love the church because the issues they continuously point out is the way the issues was handled by the church. But the church is always right… right?
Been getting into these podcasts a lot recently and I've just been picking them based on topic more relevant to me. But there's something even more surreal when you look through them and you recognize the name of the interviewee. I know Kolby's family, not well, but I know our families have interacted several times over the years. I was in the same stake at the very least. A lot of these podcasts have been incredibly validating for me in my decision to leave the church and seek my own life and this one hits it a little harder than most just because it's the experience of "oh...I know them, I was in that area." I do remember the sudden announcement of Christofferson visiting but I didn't attend the meeting he was there for, nor did I know why he was there. Thank you guys for speaking up. I still have trouble speaking up about things I disagree with in the church myself as much as I want to. There's a lot to lose when you do, even when you're already out of it. I hope others (and eventually myself, I'm getting there) can be inspired and brave enough to come out with it all and stand up for the right things as you have.
I am becoming convinced that the God they follow is not who we think.. They are actively complicit in these crimes by remaining silent! Bravo to this courageous couple!! 👍🙏👏💓
I knew my dad was abusive to my mom-eventually she became so too-but this video has shed light that the church didn’t do anything except “take his priesthood away.” I don’t remember any police. He only had to confess to each new bishop. Nothing else.
A very similar thing happened in our ward, when one of my friends got molested by a trusted high priest. The way they found out about it, he was caught kissing my friend(did other things as well), and then punished legally by her parents. The people who knew the seriousness about it was our circle of friends. The bishop threatened our parents with taking their temple recommends away if anyone (even us kids) were found talking about it to others. My mom at the time was in Young womens and there was a daughter of a friend of the molester, who she noticed changes in. She talked to her parents about the situation, and they were told by the predator and his wife that it was something less serious. They didn't know he is a child sex offender. MN state law is that anyone who his is around him in the community is suppose to be notified. They had to tell their whole neighborhood, but at church we were gagged from talking about it, and it was swept under the rug. Also state law, he wasn't suppose to have children at his home, yet, their friends didn't know and they continued to have their friends over with their young children.
@@reddish22 I want to thank you and your wife for coming on Mormon stories and speaking out about this serious issue and shinning a light on these problems. It's very validating for those of us who have been silenced. Funny thing is, one of the Articles of Faith states that Mormons believe in obeying the law of the land, which was clearly NOT obeyed in your story or mine.
Such wisdom coming out of this couple. We desperately need to learn how to navigate through child molestation. I come fr a family of incest & bec we love its so confusing how to healthy deal with holding someone accountable so they can come clean, repent & even the person starting to come into healing & turning their back to sin. My family member was held accountable, & did stop as far as i know.
I'm in this Nampa stake that Cami & Kolby are from. I support them and what they did. Had I known them, been in their ward, etc I would have publicly said so.
You 4 could teach a Master Class in having a conversation, each listens to the other, nobody is rushing to talk over each corner even though you think of something, you wait to allow the other to finish a thought then ad yours. I understand you are advocating together, and your Bishops Lawyer is not included, but Bravo.
I had a slightly negative experience during Pioneer Trek in the mid 80s, and it makes some of this story make sense to me. I had just turned 14 (had converted at age 12) and had gone through the uncomfortable, Bishop interview where he asked me about masturbation, weeks or months before. I was on the bus traveling from California to Utah, with members of my ward and stake. A boy I didn’t know, sat next to me on the bus. He was a little weird. Before long he was touching my knee and leg. I told him to stop. He didn’t. So I said it louder and more sternly. Then I heard laughter from the ADULT woman chaperone sitting right behind us. She had been listening the whole time and she found it funny. I had a bad sex abuse experience once at the age of 5, and then a minor one at age 12, so I knew how to recognize this kind of abuse right away. Anyway, the adult chaperones on our bus did nothing to stop this weird kid from inappropriately touching me. I was so glad to finally get off that bus when we arrived. And obviously I stayed clear of this teen during trek. A day or two into Pioneer Trek, the male chaperone who was the mock ‘father’ of the ‘family’ group that this boy was in, came running up to me and asked me to be friends with this kid….”to FORGIVE” him! I must have said something like I wasn’t interested in being his friend, because that male chaperone came up to me again the next day, still pressuring me to forgive. No one ever showed me 10 seconds of empathy, while one adult laughed it off and another pressured me to jump to forgiveness. It was ALL about making the BOY feel better. No one cared how I felt. I didn’t realize it then, I was just uncomfortable and felt deep down that it was wrong. But now looking back 40 years later, I realize those inappropriate adult behaviors were simply the classic LDS reaction to sex abuse from their playbook. Diminish it, ignore victims, pressure them to forgive, care about the abuser, all without there ever being any acknowledgement or apology or check-in with how the victim is feeling. So completely toxic. I stayed in the church 2.5 more years after that. I didn’t quit because of this incident, but I never forgot it. This patriarchal church does not respect females. It was made for and has been maintained for the benefit of men. I am relieved I got out at age 16.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for speaking up and speaking out, you did the right thing! I can't believe this is the Church that I once loved and defended....
Listening through this just reminds me of how toxic the whole "forgive and forget" stance is. It's not even a church issue, it's a societal issue that we all need to really rethink. Sometimes, you can't just forgive and forget. Sometimes you need to heal through what you've gone through and those around need to be supportive.
The church needs to do some serious house cleaning. Kudos to Cami and Kolby as well as their friends Brian and Natalie for standing up for the safety of children.
What.the.eff! I don’t understand why people still go to this church. What will it take to abandon an institution that won’t take responsibility even when your freaking babies are involved. #thesunkenplace is real. Im thinking about the babies. I hope a lot more parents are refusing to let their kids into this very unsafe environment.
Super brave interview. I grew up in Nampa and it is a VERY close nit community in the Mormon world. Good for you guys to have shed some light on the situation and need for change to make the church a safer place for the youth.
The seminary teacher in Provo that got caught having a relationship with a 16 year old. His last name is Pratt, for those who want to look it up. I want to say he was either arrested or maybe the whole thing played out in 2009. Anyway, I was in one of his first seminary classes when he started teaching. I would go into his office and talk with him all the time. I would think about how lucky his wife is because I wish I had been older and been able to date him. But I didn’t realize all of that until much later. I convinced myself that I never had those feelings etc. but now I realize that it was him. He had started grooming at least 10 years before her.. My heart went out to that 16 year old girl and I hope she knows how strong she is!
Standing ovation indeed, I am praying for you both and your entire family. In my opinion you two are wonderful parents instilling courage, confidence, and independence. I have no doubt your children are going to be extremely proud. I pray for your ward, I pray that they can see the light for the changes needed. Until then I wish you both the strength to keep fighting for what is right. God Bless You
Thank you for standing up for truth, for what is right and wrong, and in spite of the men who try and use their "power and authority" to justify the wrong actions that are taken within The Church leadership roles. It's people like you who initiate change and that's what this organization needs.
Its heartbreaking to see people choose to support an organization instead of its people. Im glad to see so many people waking up but its gutwrenching. I love watching Mormon stories, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to speak against toxic systems
So heartbreaking that a "church" and it's people great you like this. As a nevermo I commend you on your courage for speaking out like this. So very sad for what you are going through. Thinking of you and the other couple who were also so very brave and courageous.
