We are very touched by the number and sincerity of your comments. Each one is read, considered and helps us to better appreciate you - our valued audience.
Thank you for the truly exceptional content you bring to the world...in this dimension, especially currently, there's no words for how important and appreciated deep messages of love and inclusion are, when so many feel they need to dwell in the murky waters of division and 'the other.' Keep on!
I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss and I pray you and yours find peace. Your content helps many people find their way in this clown world including myself, providing a program to calm the mind when our lesser selves wish to run manic. Thank you for your service to us listeners and again, I pray you find resolve in this situation.
My name is Noah, I’m 20. I can say that the past 3 years of my life were the emptiest I’ve had up to this point. And it hasn’t gotten much better. In October my girlfriend of a year cheated and left me, and I tried to hang myself, only for a police officer to see it and stop me. Following that I caught pneumonia and my lack of will to live nearly let it kill me, but I have recovered. All of that to say that I am appreciative that they care and take this topic very seriously, and that this video has given me hope, that I can improve my life still. I truly and sincerely appreciate this so much.
I'm glad to find this channel and this quiet, thoughtful, humble man with his wise words. At the age of 47 I have struggled all my life so far to find a place in this world that sits well with me, jobs, relationships, housing. I do see that all the materialism and diversions are the workings of Lucifer or the 'Prince of this World' as he is known, even though I wouldn't consider myself religious. I am conscious though and I always seem aware of this fact and it does stand me apart from people and I suffer depression due to this. I have known about the benefits and drawbacks of meditation for a long time but have somehow not managed to practice it. My problem at present is a state of limbo. I don't seem to be able to start and also I have come to the realisation that I don't believe in the system (society) and I don't really want to part of it anymore but I don't know how to live apart from it yet. I dream of being self sufficient but that's very difficult especially on your own. Do you have any thoughts on this or how to overcome this limbo?
In my own long experience with the black dog or depression. And from my own more recent experiences with this deeply despairing and hopeless, place. State. And still to this day the simplicity of at the very least a possible answer, which still at times alludes me and is conveniently forgotten in the moment. Is the simplicity to ask for help. But more so for myself inner help. Yes that can and does not exclude outer possibilities. But what I am referring to is. Deeply heart felt call for help from within the darkness. From within the river of tears. Those tears have saved me a number of times. It would seem to this little me. That depression is just the resistance of the mind to fully allowing the energy of what is behind the depression to be fully experienced and felt. Too often done alone. Yet what I have come to see is. Don’t do it alone Ben. Ask for help. From whomever comes to mind. Wether they be alive or not, seen or unseen. For it is there. It is just simply remembering to ask. And yes. We are not alone in our suffering. From the richest to the poorest. We all suffer. And lastly. One might consider how much courage it must take to actually take ones own life. I am not in any way condoning this choice. It is just a simple observation I personally came to see. Being on the edge of it and not following through. I can see now if that willingness to act to step into such an unknown was only directed in another direction, another possibility. As impossible as it can feel in those dark moments. What that might lead to. This is what I was being lead to. Kicking and screaming the whole way mind you. And still at times. To be open and honest. Maybe what Dear John is exemplifying by his simply being. And sharing his experiences of his own life and that of his spiritual life both the same, it is like for me anyways that he gives the rest of us permission to accept the possibility that we to might also come to this simplicity of being. For this little me it always starts with asking for help. In what ever form that might take. I am 45. And going through the toughest time in my life. And life has been a rough ride. And what has helped me finally is just the willingness to ask for help. To cry out in the darkness of the night. And let Grace do her thing. Love is a very very strong medicine. It shows up all the hidden wounds. Which finally one by one must be revealed and surrendered. Dragged kicking and screaming for most of us. Not all. Some are lucky I suppose. Yes meditation is a strong medicine especially if one is carrying a lot of trauma. And unconscious guilt/pain. Guidance is very much recommended. I wish I was more humble in that department. Don’t do it alone. The mind is a tricky customer to say that in the mildest way. Please go gently. Kindly. With yourselves. And maybe you will find it becomes natural to be kind to other. That is the miracle I myself am finding. Not easy though. No way. Yet what else is there. Thank you for this video John and Phil. Deep blessings from Australia 🇦🇺 🙏💙🦋💙🙏
I have a feeling nobody will see this, but I’m very young and In highchool. I was in a terrible state, and was going to jump off of the local bridge. The day my breaking point was reached was when this video appeared into my recommended section for some reason. The realization that I’m not the only one with these struggles, and butler’s powerful messages saved me. I’m still confused on the topic of religion, and I’ve been identifying myself as an atheist, but this miraculous savior was not just a random act. Something reached down and helped me through a dark time. So all I’m trying to say is thank you and keep up the excellent work.
Praying for you!! I have a spiritual relationship with my creator that I feel and love.I don’t go to church it’s not for everyone. I don’t get into religion and rules of man. I hope your finding your purpose and your value and realizing this video on RU-vid didn’t just pop up for you to hear out of nowhere but for a divine purpose.
Clifton Rankin You’re so young, how fortunate you received the video on your darkest day. Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary problem. Keep growing, you have much to offer the world.
My mother took her life last year. Shortly after Christmas. I miss her every day and every single day I ask myself what I could've done differently. The guilt is horrible, the grief.. Yeah the grief is really hard to deal with.. Mom, I wish I could've been a light to you, but all you saw was darkness. I wish you could've seen the brilliant light of your own being at the darkest of moments. I hope you're at peace now.. I love you.
My mother passed away 2 years ago and I always found a way to blame myself. I hope from the bottom of my heart that you can recover from this unhuman experience. I wish you all the best.
@@shrekwazowski8199 intelligence isnt based off of gender... So you could still be just as smart and just as thoughtful... The only downside is you're not gonna get the awesome beard
SUBJECT DELTA i know. But I kinda want the beard if ima be wise. I’ve always wanted the haircuts that look good and don’t get in the way of everything and I don’t look good with short hair lol. But I also can’t get a cool beard when I’m old so that really sucks
After my gf cheated on me and left I lost everything. I lost my job, friends, and her family was the closest thing to a family I ever had. I attempted to commit suicide and lived, barely, and I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. In the hospital I had 2 coworkers that visited me every day, and that is when I realized how even someone like me, who had nothing and nobody, would be missed by someone.
You lost nothing of a value. Every day is a new beginning and all we have. You can volunteer in the hospital and help others. Serving others is the ultimate cure.
I went through cancer then kidney failure then when I was in hospital wife left me dog died and I was left homeless I know what being at rock bottom is but I came back from deep depression and made a success of my life This as only recent .👍👍 Never give up on life folks
@thomas seven I see your point. There is also another kind of death tho. Death to the belief that I am someone who is living life. Some call this dying before dying. Unfortunately/fortunately there is no control in this. Surrendering the ego-doer. What to do when you don't know anything about anything. Just be? just be...
the right RocknRoll ........you have been through the worst..now good,luck with all that’s ahead if you .....you are meant to be on this planet for a reason enjoy the rest Of the ride, you are certainly strong enough. ❤️🌸🌺👵🏻
I do not believe in God, but this man, his kindness, his assurance, gives me tremendous comfort. I do suffer, but mostly in silence. Things will be ok.
@@SC-oi9wp I appreciate your perspective, it's not what i believe, but i thank you. I'm just glad there are people like John Butler who can share their story. Gives an anxious mind hope and respite.
I don’t believe in god ether buddy I know now I wasn’t being good because I wanted “ god “ to love me I was scared of hell after becoming atheist I’ve had a joy ride I cheat on my wife literally but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her :) good and evil are subjective and this to me is good and wonderful I might even take another mans life if it where legal :) It’s good to be atheist
@@courageukrainian2208 weird time to be sarcastic. I was saying that even though John Butler speaks on God, someone who doesn't share the same belief still finds comfort in John's words speaks volumes to his character. If you're suggesting that your locus of control or your ability to discern right from wrong is completely reliant on an external morality, then perhaps it's good you have a faith. That, however, is an indication of your character.
I am so glad that 2 days ago I had the strength to stop myself from jumping out of my window by calling the ambulance by my self. I live alone, I have a very good social systhem, but at 6 o clock in the morning on a sunday, there was no one who could help me exept myself. To call a hotline or 911 took all my strength but now I am here and ready to fight my ptsd. To everyone who is fighting for his live: Don't be ashamed, be proud of your self, because you have the strength that most of the other people couldn't even emagine. God bless you all.
I watch this as I feel afraid and alone. I'm 27, dealing with an unknown medical issue which is slowly killing me. Each day the physical symptoms get worse and I've been begging the hospital to treat me. It feels as if I don't have much time left. I'm scared and alone. Listening to John gives me some comfort. It's terrifying to look death in the face at such a young age. I want John to know that listening to him makes me feel held and loved.
I’m sorry to hear of this, I want you to know you are not alone, I am also suffering illness and awaiting diagnosis. I too am lonely and I know how frustrating it is at this moment in time to get the treatment you need. I feel like I have been left in the dark by the health system. There are lots of people going through similar experiences unfortunately. I sincerely hope you get the treatment you need as soon as possible. Take care and best wishes.
« Funny » how some people are terrified by inevitable death and some people (like me) consider your condition a blessing and want more than enything to switch places, stay strong brother
I don't think "I am not my thoughts" worked for me in deep depression/despair either. Awareness seems so contracted around the painful feelings/thoughts that that does not seem real. So often people who commit suicide are judged as "selfish." I find that to lack compassion and insight. Yes, there's a spiritual and emotional component to depression, but there are also neural and chemical changes that can make thinking very distorted. In other words, the person in "sick". Very, very sick. Peace be upon that young woman.
man, just don't let it win. Depression happens to all, so there is no real reason that you suck, or feel bad other than a human feeling of doubt. Cus you shouldn't, know that depression shall not rule your life, only you shall
@@gilded2342 The irony is the dude just fucking proved exactly what the original comment was trying to say. "It's just a doubt and isn't physical lmfao just don't let it win." I have clinical depression, there is some days where I am so lethargic, so sorrowful and in so much pain mentally that I can barely bring myself to move. Not to mention neck/back/muscle pain. Depression CAN rule your life. It can make you hurt so much that you'd rather literally not live anymore. It can make you not care, it can make you snap.
Dave once said suicide doesn’t stop the pain you’re only moving it and after hearing that on his album I realised I now live for others who don’t deserve the pain from my loss
So many people deep down inside have so much anxiety and depression and most people never know it. I am one. My young son is another. We both suffer with anxiety and depression and only a close few know it. I guess my point is that being kind to your fellow man goes a long way. You have no idea what those people could be feeling on the inside.
They are not always temporary problems. This is the equivalent to telling an addict to "just say no.", it rings hollow. Some problems are permanent with only one solution. It's sad but true.
@@southernwonder7024 I am more then likely wrong, but I believe they are temporary because just about every human being has the ability to achieve and overcome obstacles through Christ Jesus. I myself abide by the path that Jesus creates for me, as we all do our own, but trival moments can be offered to Christ in order to strengthen our relationships with him. I may have just dug myself into a deeper whole with what I've said, so in a conclusive manner "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". That is why I believe all things come to pass.
You can see that the contemplation has effected him deeply by the resounding pauses he makes between speaking. You always feel as though John goes within himself to give an answer that is completely pure. Thank you for your honesty John. Thank you Phil for the efforts made towards such a relative and at times awkward subject.
This past year has been especially rough. I appreciate that Phil and John spoke about this subject. Indeed the 19-25 age range is very tough for young men in particular these days.
@@aIkaIi Please be patient, I'm trying to understand what you're saying. Are you saying that in the past few decades there was equality between men and women, but today men are more oppressed than women?
I think the 19-25 is pretty accurate. I'm 19 and never imagined I would've even thought of suicide, let alone try it. I had a period where I was terrified of myself and my own thoughts. I cut my neck (not deeply) in attempts but each time realising that I'm scared of blood and that I don't want to die. I actually hid knives that were visible to me to stop myself making a mistake. This all stems from social anxiety and awkwardness along with imposter syndrome. With all the social media stuff I'm supposed to keep up with these things make it pretty hard to do so. Just wish my fear of doing something embarrassing in social situations would not be so strong, it really sucks.
Having been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder I have had my share of unreasonable pain and disconnect driven by a mind that will not stop worrying about the worst. It leads to an isolation of the mind. Feelings of isolation in society, self and spiritually is definitely a factor in these thoughts and inclinations to end the pain. It's seems that I have been left stuck in a world of desperately wanting to live yet half wanting to die and end the pain. Fortunately thanks to John I have been able to focus my energies on the stillness and spirit. I had not really heard of the stillness before and initially did not have a deep understanding but after having listened to you and your thoughts I had a realization of the heart while watching the stars and reflecting on a beach in Alaska. The stillness of the mountains, the waves and the incredible vastness above was absolutely deafening, and it's everywhere now. Now I know exactly what you mean about stillness and spirit and have something to strive for and help heal my negative energies with. Since then I haven't really had any thoughts about ending it all. It's hard to pin down with words what happened, to really describe it, as it seems to have been a realization of heart and not just mind itself. John's wisdom in these videos was direction changing and helped deliver me to that moment. I'd like to let you know, both John and Phil, that you are changing lives with your videos and to thank you.
you wanna live stillness, go in the woods and bushcraft. Let me tell ya it will calm you down and give you a sence of survival wich takes away any thought in your head. We live a life that is worthless now and thats why people are so sick mentally. A life to no where, just for a pay check and metarial, we lost touch with our souls and thats why the mental sickness is everywhere
I must admit I didn't know who you were, never heard of you before, but my dear GOD Sir, you are blessed with a gift that cannot be described in the depth of truth embodied within your words. Your exquisite tenderness, emanates through you, and all around you..... right into my heart and soul; a connection, I have never experienced in my 62 years of life. Oh, if only there were more like you; what a beautiful world we would have. Thank you so much. WOW!
Recently I have been struggling with thoughts of suicide and although I’m not sure if this video helped any. It is nice to hear someone talk about it in a way others can understand.
hi there. you are not alone my friend. i struggle with these thoughts all the time.. close to 24/7 in fact. the biggest mistake i made was using alcohol to cover it up because now ive created another problem which are withdrawals and panic so please do whatever you can to avoid mentally detrimental solutions... i wish i dicovered John before all of that. wishing you all the best
@@Nucky420 yes i understand. i am also unemployed for the last 7 months and just look forward to the next drug to get away.. i can totally understand the whole not understanding this world. i refuse to even bother trying to work it out. thats probably because im very cynical and angry now and just wish i could get back to when i was a kid and not mentally scarred with this BS. but people are keeping me here and thats a saving grace.. mostly for them but i guess each day means theres another chance. i hope we can both take the right path one day. lets just keep on keeping on for our loved ones if not for us. thanks alot Zack
@@Nucky420 you're a kind person,seeking to advise others even while in your position. Please take care of yourself, man. Show the love you have for others to yourself and live another day to tell the tale.
In this world, sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to carry on when all the baggage you're carrying with you is mounted atop your shoulders. People will tend not to be kind. The most important thing to remind yourself of is that the top of the mountain is really just a slide once you've reached the peak of the precipice. Try to put yourself there. Visualize it and immerse yourself in that sheer sense of awe. Then all that's left to do is get there. Find the path that you feel your feet should follow. I wish you all well in your endeavour. I'll see you at the bottom of the other side. Don't forget to have fun, my many friends abroad. Love, honor, and peace to you. Enjoy.
Life itself is very depressing especially the second one turns on the TV, listens to the news, reads the paper, hearing the never ending debates between politicians and citizens in general. There’s tragedy all around us. Rules and regulations and the constant conveyer belt of life some people call the rat race. Unfortunately, many of us place more importance in winning and give little Time or importance in losing. Eventually in the end we all lose our lives on earth. Imagine all those lives lost in wars, what were they really fighting about. Life is more complicated than we think or could ever even imagine. Judge a man not until you walk a mile in his shoes.
i wanted to die when the father of my three children and i were separating. i had a 'spiritual awakening' that i had succeeded and my three precious children were crying and i was unable to comfort them. it was so powerful and i vowed not to play with such thoughts in honor of my LOVE for those precious children.
When I heard him say on another video, regarding depression, sometimes all you can do is open the window and get some air. I knew then he got it. “The curtains that close around one “ in times of depression create utter despair, total isolation and hopelessness. You are locked away in a dark secluded place where no one can reach you and you cannot reach others. The loneliness and descent into hell is indescribable. What I can only describe as the tsunami of painful emotions and physical effects of depression are quite literally agony. It is no wonder that people elect to kill themselves due to the intensity of psychological, emotional and spiritual pain in the same way that some individuals choose assisted suicide in cases of intractable physical suffering such as terminal cancer. My soul recognises his suffering and all the work he has done in Spirit. He speaks to me as someone who is wise and good , treading the paths of old, a Soul friend for all of us fighting not to let our darkness speak to us. Thank you John Butler Your honesty and authenticity of spirit in this world is helping to light up the most desolate of landscapes.
I am aged 44 and have had periods of depression on and off since the age of 18. I also have got a terrible work history with big periods out of work along the way, so many years you would find it hard to believe, lots of drifting along doing not a lot. Some good things have happened along the way, i got married and had a son, my marriage didnt last long, under 2 years. Life has felt like a struggle at times if im honest. As such I do feel i have a good understanding of depression and although we can never be in anyone elses head or view the world in the way someone else does, the feelings of depression and despair are the same i would have thought. As for why people take their own lives, well there are many reasons. Some people have private things that haunt them, it could be something they feel deeply ashamed about from a long time ago, or even recent, maybe something that they did in fact do wrong, or something they did in a moment of madness that they havent been able to fully shake off or forgive themeselves for, other reasons are deep unhappiness that has gone on for so long and mental suffereing that they feel they can no longer deal with. Im sure there may be other reasons, like fear of getting older, or perhaps just someone who is an extremely deep thinker and feels life has no meaning and they arent religious so they cant see hope in an all loving god. I imagine a word that sums everything up for a suicidal person would be ' Frustration' Frustration that they cant find a way to peace on mind and some lasting happiness. There are some people though who have no concept of what real depression is and think you can just snap out of it or just say a few positive mantras and everything is ok. I do believe their brains are wired different perhaps. Real depression can be physically and mentally exhausting, its someones worst nightmare, I always remember reading about a person who had had cancer and the treatment that involves and at another point in their life had had serious depression and they said if they had a choice they woulf prefer cancer. So that tells you how hideous of a condition it is. Without waffling on anymore i will just say that as humans we are our minds, and if we have problems with our minds in the form of deep despair and mental anguish it can be very difficult to find a way to peace. Peace of mind really is everything in life once your needs for food and shelter are met. Thanks for taking the time ro read this and all the best everyone :)
justmadeit2 Thanks for sharing, I hope you find a way to peace of mind. In my experience meditation has brought about peace, leading to self acceptance and forgiveness. We are all victims of circumstance, once you see that you can see we have a choice to a happier life.
i'm 26, and am in a somewhat similar situation like yours.. in my teens at school i stumbled through all the available classes there were, and never found something that interested me enough to persue as a career. When i was 18, i quit school without graduating. My parents didn't give me any slack and a week later i found myself working in a glass factory. It didn't take long for me to realise that what i experienced in school for 15 years was just going to continue in my adult life, and so i stumbled from one shitty job to another, never feeling like i "fit in" anywhere. I started to feel down and isolated, and the motivation to get up in the morning and go to work just dissapeared completely. I would just stay in bed all day or bingewatch movies just to stop my mind from talking me down. My parents (whom i love very much, let that be said) didn't understand the state my mind was in and just had this mentality of: "oh you're just lazy, get off your ass and find a job you leech". After a couple of heated fights with them i moved out, found a small but cozy studio and thought things would get better from there. Which it did, for a short time at least. We're now 6 years later and i find myself more and more out of touch with society, i can't hold a job because i have no goals to work towards to, no ambition for anything. Not even finding a girl. i've been out of a job for more than half a year now, debt is piling up and the anxiety is getting worse. My best friend is 3 years younger than i am, and is now already way ahead of me. He has a bachelor's degree and a respectable job with alot of responsibility, has a nice saving's account, a girlfriend, goals etc.. He's one of those people (just like my parents) that don't really understand depression because they've never really experienced it. Or maybe their brain is just wired differently, i don't know. But it's frustrating as hell. I'm so jealous of him just being able to go forwards all the time and seeing him becoming "succesful" in life. I want that too, but it just feels impossible to me. I've had a couple of times in those 6 years where i came close to pulling the trigger on myself, sobbing all night with the rope still round my neck... The pain was just too much to handle, it had to stop, and when you're in that state you're not thinking clearly anymore and you think that suicide is the only way to make it stop. Even in those moments i dissapointed myself because i just couldn't go through with it, the thought of being dead felt liberating, but the dying part made me shiver in fear. Living with depression is literally like living in hell. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. i'm sorry for this enormously long comment, i originally just wanted to say a few words but got carried away i guess. Besides the on/off episodes of heavy depression i also suffer from social anxiety and i can't talk to anyone about what i truly feel, but here i can for some reason. Anyway, i wish you the best in life and i hope that you've found your peace of mind =)
@@wardgeys4175 Thankyou for sharing that honest and heartfelt message about your experience with depression and disillusionment. I can relate to what you said about seeing people you know succeed and get on with life and nothing seems to get them down. I do think some have a predisposition for introspection and perhaps low moods. I try and take hope from those who have turned their life around and like to believe I will find a place of peace in my life. Once again thanks for sharing that
I can say thank you enough for sharing this. It's very beautiful and I think of parts of it time to time. I wish you the best. You deserve grace if there's ever some to give.
I think it is a form of "curse" for people that are "blessed" with having deep thoughts of existential problems, that we tend to get a bit depressed from time to time. I am a student of history of religion and tend to over think things a lot, which sometimes traps me in darker thoughts.
Same i am not at all religious I consider myself an anti-theist he does have a relaxing voice and means absolutely no harm he does help me sleep most nights all my love Amy from Liverpool x
Wow what a timing.. My best friend tried to take his own life 2 days ago but he miraculously survived 2 attempts. It’s all I’ve been able to think about the past couple of days. Thank you for adressing this important matter.
I had a good run. I for one sure am looking forward to getting some peace and quiet. It doesn't need to be all sad and painful. If your very existence bring uncomfort to so many it just seems like natures way of sorting itself out. Sure you could stick around hoping for things to get better but maybe you're just prolonging the inevitable. It's hard to judge for anyone but yourself. It's also safe to say someone taking their own life is an instant reminder to everyone around you of their mortality. Should I stick around just so others don't feel so bad? Or should I just listen to that voice in my brain that has been echoing in my head for 20 years telling me to just kill yourself and end this hellish facade of life?
Ideas of death and mortality are always hard to comprehend as no one knows what happens after death. Using the excuse that everyone dies to kill yourself or others is devaluing life.
I think suicide is a trial in a way. For me at least it was. And when I surpassed that depression I was feeling when suicidal I became a happier person as a whole. And from then on my life has gotten better. Suicide is indeed never the right answer. It's like we say in order to see the light there needs to be the dark, and depression is very dark indeed but once we do see that light you have to grasp at it. And people love you and they don't want to see you go. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking no one cares.
Spiritual Unfoldment with John Butler I did indeed try meditation and in a way it helped. It kind of let everything go away for a while. And with friends as well supporting me I managed to make it through. It’d definitely not an easy thing to do though.
I truly appreciate the seriousness and sincerity in this video. And Phil, I'm deeply sorry for your families loss. I lost a brother to suicide and the good Lord knows I've had to grapple with my own depression in this life. God Bless you both.
So sorry for this word, but damn! I feel so strange today. I woke up after having a dream with my sister, (She commit suicide this year) and she was talking me about a videogame call "Limbo". I search for it and its a story of a boy who tries to find his sister on the other side (the limbo). Immediately i opened youtube looking for a gameplay, but this was the first video on my feed. Yesterday i go to sleep listening to a John's video, of course that is the reason of this other one appearing on my feed, but, why this video? 😐
John Butler is just an Eckhart Tolle's brother who hasn't become a millionaire because he doesn't have best-selling books. I love both, both of them are great guys with much to teach us. The world needs more people like this. Thanks!
I feel continually suicidal,I really don't see a future to look forward,a loveless marriage,a job that could be pulled from under my feet at any moment,no qualifications,no faith in myself. Suicide is something I have held at bay all my life but have always thought off as my trump card. Cue "It's the cowards way out" or "Your selfish". I really don't see any other way.
the way things are today I'm not surprised people want to commit suicide,I've contemplated it myself,but I haven't done it. I think people like John Butler helping people find a way through what he says is the only way forward,so you would be in a state of "being" instead of identified with the condition of your life. For example I'm a bad husband,my marriage this is bad that's bad or even if your saying it's good,does it matter However if your in a state of "being"suicide I feel wouldnt even be thought about. So I would not advise anybody to commit suicide as I didn't either ❤️
I do hope you will find love in your life in the future! it is not to late to start a new chapter in your life, learning a skill or a craft, someting that broadens ones horizon! There is a lot of pain in the world, but there is also so much love and beauty! Hang in there my unknown internet friend! And always know that there is someone who is willing to lend you an ear and help you! suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html
I'll tell you this: Don't rely on suicide as a trump card. You are underestimating the sheer courage and passion involved in desiring death so much that you actively bring it on yourself.
This video has definitely added some perspective for me. For years I’ve struggled quietly from depression and anxiety mostly. I went through 14 years of being bullied about my appearance, my weight, and sometimes just my personality by not only my peers in school but my family as well. The first time I thought about suicide was when I was 8 years old. I’ve thought about it every year since then up until this point, I’m 23. I’ve always made it my mission to make everyone around me happy, or try to get them to like me. I thought the more I did the more they would see me as a person. I’ve carried this weight of abuse, pain, and loneliness for so long; I quietly tucked it all in the deepest part of myself and tried to ignore it. This year in particular it seems all of those feelings have matured and aged and have felt like a weight. The things I desperately tried to never feel all have come rushing back. I feel so worthless and that the only way I’ll know peace is by taking my own life. I always understood that some of my family, and some friends I managed to have would feel sad and grieve me being gone but apart of me wants to leave them so I can finally have some peace. So for once I don’t have to carry this weight, these feelings, this hurt.. Im I can just be. I’m willing to pay the price if it means I can just feel alive inside. Even if it’s for a moment that’s something I would do anything for. I feel like I’m better off gone. I’ve always wondered why I spent so much of my life not wanting to be alive even at a young age. It makes me think that I should just go on with it finally, and see what else is in store. I say all this not to garner sympathy from anyone but I guess to share.
I hope you manage to keep going and see what the future brings. I sympathise and empathise I'm 32 and I've also struggled my whole life. It's not guaranteed to get better but it can and it might. I had a few months of blissful contentedness - nothing too special happened I just felt incredible happiness and energy in mundane, everyday life. Even though it has faded now, and things haven't been so good since, my perspective has been utterly transformed. It made all the torment before seem worthwhile and, even if the rest of my life is twice as long as twice as bad I feel it will be worth persisting with anyway just on the off chance that it _might_ happen again for a single day. That might not be a very comforting story - haha apologies...I just wanted to respond and share something because your words resonated with me but I know how trite the usual words of sympathy can sometimes sound. I have great respect for you - people who care for others while in turmoil themselves have beautiful souls and I hope you find the endurance to keep going.
I think It’s nice that people try and help suicidal people out of the goodness of their heart but I’m also of the opinion that no religious organisation, government, or governing body has the right to tell you that you aren’t allowed to do what you like with your own life. If one day you ever feel like clocking out early... that is YOUR choice, no one else’s. (This is not including mental illness such as depression and schizophrenia). RIP to Phil’s niece who took her life, it genuinely is a shame when mental illness, or social pressure leads people into taking their own life.
Autumn CAUDILL That’s your opinion and I’ve got mine. Obviously I know that someone killing them self and leaving kids behind is wrong, you don’t have to preach that.
Severe mental illness is a lifelong battle and suicide is a natural cause of death in that case, just like any other illness. You can’t share the burden of the person’s suffering so it isn’t reasonable to expect the person to keep suffering just to spare you the inconvenience of grief.
I went through a really tough depression where I couldn't sleep, had no appetite for any joy and all my thoughts were of how bad my thoughts were. A constant feedback loop of negative thoughts about negative thoughts. A few years on and now I am healthy, happy and hopeful. Remember time heals all no matter how you feel now.
Seriously everyone...if you know anyone who you suspect is suffering from depression for God's sake SPEAK TO THEM. I have had very little response since admitting that I am suffering, except almost total isolation from my 'friends'. It can happen to literally anyone too...don't fall for the old 'it's common among young people' bit either. My nephew had the same treatment and it ended with him taking his own life. Don't let that happen to you. Please.
An unjudgmental listener or an empathic friend can be lifesaving. Depression often goes hand in hand with isolation or with loneliness and the "cure" is to connect with something or someone to reach through that curtain described in the video. Unfortunately many of us are not deep thinkers, or emotive souls, and even those who are often find it impossible to articulate these things to other people. If we could only bottle and recall that clarity of thought and those great emotions that come late at night, or when walking alone or listening to music or in times of happiness or grief...those moments of clarity. Talking to other people on a superficial level makes those sorts of thoughts and feelings seem so far away...the world would be a very different place if we could communicate to each as deeply and clearly as we occasionally do with ourselves in those moments. So much is lost in misunderstanding and in the spaces between our communication - it's a shame that we find it so hard and that people with the ability to exlress these thoughts and feelings are so rare. I suppose I'm trying to describe some of the less petty reasons why your friends might have failed you but I hope you can forgive them for it - not them as individuals necessarily but "them" as in the human collective. And forgive the world in general. We all have to lift each other up (or be a candle in the darkness as the gentleman in the video described it). You deserved better - we all deserve that comfort of connection and belonging. I can send you my profound, heart-aching empathy from an unknown stranger yet, hollow as it seems, it's much more than I would be able to articulate if we were speaking in person - even in the unlikely event we were somehow able to break the barrier and touch on the subject in the first place. It's a shame there was nobody in your life whose eyes had been opened enough for them to feel comfortable reaching out when you needed it...but from your message it seems that your suffering has made you into the sort of person that you were yearning for. Perhaps you will be able fill that role for someone else and make their own darkness a tiny bit brighter. Scant consolation in the long nights or the despairing moments of course! I'm not a spiritual person so to me I see it as more of an analogy or metaphor but the sort of perspective from the video that I'm clumsily trying to elaborate on feels like a great truth to me. It grants a kind of meaning to suffering and lets me feel sorry for the people who couldn't reach out - pity them for that they found the emotions too uncomfortable or the conversation too awkward instead of hating them for leaving me all alone.
I think systemic issues play most into suicide, although some people just cannot be saved. Building a society that prioritizes people and the planet rather than capital is the first place to start.
material solutions don't address spiritual or existential problems and never will. Building some type of society rather than another is not the point. Some people are affected by deeper things than economic pressures. The people who aren't think this is all that matters,
Helvete_Ingres people who are subjected with constant fear, doubt, and internal and extrnal battles ALL the time, not once or twice but 24/7 are the ones who develop mental disorders now that ive realized. And that constant emotional torment is acctually now parents and the media because you CANT get away from either unless they know how to handle children emotionally and/or know how to give genuine good wisdom onto how to deal with emotions. Basically no one knows how or is allowed to “run away” to just collect themselves, instead we have condisioned ourselves to stay put when we are being punched, to take in every negative emotion when we want to scream, and face death even through we just want to be cradled and hugged, we just get trapped in a box until be crack and unravel into a broken husk who just wants to feel safe for once.
@jessdoritowhale I don't know what you're talking about, that wasn't very coherent. Are you saying that inner torment really comes from external things like media? The kind I'm talking about does not. Spiritual or existential despair isn't just feeling depressed or feeling sad or unfulfilled or w/e. It's when you can 'run away' and 'collect yourself' and your thought is, I am done with existence and I want to die.
maybe that's the point of realizing we're all "connected" as John has said before. Because Phil I don't know you and I don't think we'll ever meet on this Earth - yet my heart broke for you and your family. I hope you are all able to find some comfort. Suicide is so common and yet when it's done we just ignore the survivors in so many ways because we're afraid to ask the real questions. thank you both for bravely giving us this video to digest and think over
John, sometimes there isn't an answer no matter how long we live. I buried my beautiful 19 year old daughter 15 years ago. It was not from suicide but I'll never be the same. That's just the way it is. Phil, I'm so sorry for your terrible loss.
I remember being 17 you know and the year was 2003 will I had to watch my brother that was 19 get buried by the USMC he got shot 14 times and bleed out in the helicopter than my other brother was 18 a year later he joins the marines seeking revenge I suppose and than in 2004 he gets shot getting his wounded buddy out of a building that was also shot it hurts man it really does I lost to damn brothers within just 2 years because of some stupid war I live in a japan now I’m mad at the USA but I have 2 American flags I raise just for them .... the pain never really goes away you just have to forget about it
My beautiful son took his life and this message spoke to and eased my heart. Thank you. As I have sat with the why’s and what if’s I too realized my son just felt way too much for a person so young. I so wish he could have realized that this would pass. Then again on some level I’m glad he has found his way home and I pray that he has found peace. This tragedy has taught me so much and I am trying to shine my light humbled and recognizing how little I truly understand.
I’m among the many who have, and still do, fight an ongoing battle with depression, and the suicidal tendencies that come with that. Particularly, I suffer from seasonal depression, so I’m really not looking forward to this coming winter. But John’s words, as always, provide me with at least a little comfort, and remind me that there’s much more to life than this dark spell I’m currently experiencing. Thank you once again for an enlightening video 😊
Ssaa nn thank you, Sandor, for your kind words 😊 Im going to try my hardest to follow your advice, and with a little bit of luck, I’ll hopefully be able to see this dark phase of my life through. God bless you.
When Robin Williams took his own life. Billy Connolly knew he was saying goodbye to him (crucially he did not know this at the time) but he has said, since, he wouldn't have stopped him. To me this shows a profound understanding and love to what his friend wanted and needed and a deep respect and deep connection to his friend and allowing him the space he needed to do what he needed to do to have peace.
Well done for stepping up and addressing a major taboo subject in society. Passing 80 years of experience on to all of us. We need more strong men like John in our world 👍
I'm one of those that meditation causes harm. I go into this painful deep pain, it hurts beyond words. It seems to cause almost like a deep pick pain in my brain. I try and try. I practiced the safest of meditation from well known gurus. But nothing seems safe for me. I acknowledge that it's within me and not everyone feels this and I'm glad. I have resolved to using mindfulness instead of meditation to reach my path.
Yes well being in the present/moment is of coarse meditation I have been talking to a therapist lately who is really good. At the end of each session she tries to hypnotise help me be present She asks me always to picture a happy a moment from my past. I struggle with that and it makes me feel so low worse than ever. The realisation I have been so unhappy for so Long! I darnt try to meditate in the conventional way as it’s too much right now So yes just hear the birds, every leaf moving in the wind, be aware or everything, see your breath entering your body like energy be there now in that moment timeless and amazing! It’s enough and amazing xxx
I had a bad experience with meditation and I was practicing witchcraft at the time and I had a realization that I needed to stop playing with things that are dangerous and out of my control! And I turned from wrong doings in/of meditation and witchcraft I am back on the right path for me !
I'm going to say something to everyone in this comment section, or just to people who might need to hear it. Trust me, suicide is never the answer. It's a permanent solution to (a) temporary problem(s). You may think that there will not be anyone who misses you but believe me, there will always be people who will miss you. Those are the people who are dearest. You may be at a terribly bad place right now, but we all have those moments. You are not alone. You never will be. There will always be someone who *wants* to help you. Someone who will see you and think "wow, this is such a beautiful person.", And they aren't lying either. We're all human. I love you all, stay strong.
I found speaking to a medium or asking God for a sign of hope was helpful for me. I also found thinking about my future family was also a great motive “I’m going to keep pushing through for my Wife and kids.”
Gosh if I knew someone with his energy and aura, I wouldn’t need to take any anti depressants for depression. He will be all I need but at least I have these videos. God bless this man.
I don’t understand why i watched this, I am in no way suicidal, but the only reason I’m not suicidal is because I have a strong belief that my future will get better, no matter how lonely or sad or shitty I feel right now, I believe things will get better, apart of me knows that I’m just lying to myself, I just need someone to believe in to get me through this, something to comfort me, but hey it works...I’m just scared of what happens if my future doesn’t get better, what will I do then?
Keep going and keep hoping that it will. The person you are looking to believe in is yourself but it's easier said than done for those of us who judge ourselves harshly and think oureelves worthless. Try to love yourself and see yourself with the adoring eyes you see a loved one through.
Ex-serviceman with bad PTSD...Ive thought about suicide many times over the last 15 yrs....its not a simple thing to do. For some reason every time i hit bottom and grab the pills, theres always something to bring me back from the brink. Really sorry to hear about your niece....prime of her life.
Thank you so much for everything your existence on this earth is so appreciated by us all! Youre truly amazing and im so sorry to hear about your niece, sending peace, love and light
Thank you both for handling a sensitive topic so sensitively and helpfully. I could watch John sit in silence for an hour as a sort of group meditation. I find his presence very calming.
Thank you Phil for holding the silence for John so gracefully, so lovingly in these emotionally intense, fragile moments, enveloping his whole being in the protection of compassionate, patient human attention. I can hear the silence within you resonating with the silence in John, a resonance made possible by the blessed wordless attention you are giving so sensitively when that’s what’s most needed. ... and when it’s time to dissolve the silence, you find the most appropriate words. Thank you.
John's expression was especially touching when explaining his experience with the "young man" and his friend, the mother. I think the especially-contemplative, in temperament and thought, are especially-vulnerable to intense thought which is depression, in the negative direction, of course. My mother took her life when I was very young - kindergarten age, in fact - and it devastated me and my two brothers. I can say without reservation, we never fully recovered. That said, it has not kept me away from "the ledge" , the same desire to "end it all". Now, at the age of 61, without spouse, partner, children ... it seems ever more pressing. I don't know that "Why?" is the right question. The answer is simple - "Being alive is too painful".
I am a destroyer by nature, I'm no good at keeping anything together. I got to the point where I had hurt everyone I love and I felt so bad so guilty so shame full I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into the sea . I tried many a time but there was something holding me back, it felt like a hand pulling at my heart saying no . I think that was god
I am currently going thru a bad enough depression episode i called the crisis line (the same day this video was posted). So i was blown when i dropped my phone and opened the YT app amd this was at the top of recommended. Im still struggling to hold on and i couldnt watch at this time but i look forward to it when i come back in a better and open mindset to take it in.
My mother attempted to take her own life in front of me. Luckily I stopped her just in time. The feeling of your own mother begging you to let her die is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. She's been through so much and I just hope she gets better soon. And to that unknown girl that took her life in front of me, may you pluck the strings of your soul as you dance through the ethereal cosmos for eternity. Sometimes it can seem like death can follow you around. It's very disturbing sometimes. This life. Very disturbing indeed, but very beautiful still.
Thank you John for your honesty, vulnerability and periods of intense difficulty during your earthly existence. It is comforting to hear this especially when I too have experienced 4 years of deep depression, despair, utter hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, yet lacking the courage to take my own life. I now accept the greatest battle is within ourselves and this process appears to be common, where the soul/ spirit within ourselves is at war with our own ego. My greatest comfort and periods of healing and restoration has been experienced when I've been alone with Jesus of Nazareth. When we are in need of help, if we can somehow call out to the blessed Master of all Masters, JESUS OF NAZARETH, you will be helped I promise, for we are loved beyond all measure. John, you speak truth and wisdom. Thank you. You have helped me and comforted me more than you will ever know.
I still have my moments but a few years ago I was in this endless pit of depression This is the misunderstood part of it is when some people talk about ending their life They are really saying they want to end the way life is going Some feel theres no hope for their life's but I can say from my experience so far If you end your life you end the chances of it getting better Surround yourself with people who care and support you don't shut yourself off, loneliness only chambers you into your dark mindset and keeps you embedded in this field of self destruction Reach out...your not alone
We are experiencing a time when we are truly desperate to feel the presence of God in us and in our lives. This is being felt by all of us, the reconnection with the energy / presence of God. Every kind of suffering that we experience is the illusory absence of that presence.
This is what we should be doing, expressing and coming together, this gentleman is a beacon, use him if yu need to because that's what he is talking for.
I am wondering if the loss of mentoring, or apprenticeships if you will, is really harming our young people, particularly young men. I'm 31 and have never felt suicidal or depressed, but I am lucky in that I always knew what path I was taking and how I wanted to get there. I think many young men are sorely missing an older male figure in their life to guide them through the disaster that is their twenties. Especially in these modern times where they have been told their whole lives that they are toxic.
