Thank you for your video I was married to a pastor who divorced me and then four months later he remarried somebody he told the whole church that I was crazy which I’m not but I think it was God just protecting me I have kids with this guy I’ve been no contact for about two years but the trauma and abuse and pray that God will deliver me from PTSD
I'm so sorry for you. but more and more I can't stomach most/all Pastors, they are narcissists who build their temple. I would reccomend you speaking outloud in faith words of healing and declaration over your life to break all the lies that your husband planted in you...
Pastor's wife received a "prophecy" that her son and my sis should be married immediately(they married within 2mths of meeting). Being the protective big sis, I voiced my concerns. But my parents were flattered that their daughter got "chosen"...long story short me, hubby and my children have now been excommunicated under influence from this pastor's family.
am also married to a pastor. He’s also divorcing me. He’s also claiming I’m crazy. Devastating. First year together was so beautiful. Our ministry together changed lives. It was a dream come true for me. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be His holy name.
I would suggest watching the RU-vid channel Fighting for the Faith Pastor Chris. I am finding great healing in that from so much false doctrine I have learned and 13 yrs of covert narcissistic abuse.
Some pastors are crazy for power and the next one is money and some for women. The first two, they treasure the most. Others are not that important to them. Never mind if their congregation are dying. They verbally, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically abused those they regard as 'rebellious'.
I’m shook to my core after watching this video. My church as more than just 1 or two signs but actually has ALL 10 signs. To make things even worse, the church is my parents church and it’s all I know but after watching this video there’s no possible way I could remain. Your ministry has brought so much deliverance and healing to my life . Please, pray for me. What I have to do will not be easy.
Definitely leave. It won't be easy because when you are out you can see clearly. Then you have to work through it all. But above all the Lords wants us to live honest and he shows us what we need to see to bring us closer to him.
easiest way out avoid all churches they not what they should be anymore I don't go to church for 50 years and live a free life no musts and what to do or not to do
Big ego is the first of abominations Pro 6:16-19 that God hates. It is the first of the 7 evil spirits we can all operate in, but when a person keeps going in all 7 that is who they became and are filled with 7 evil spirits. Like Mary M had 7 evil spirits and this was it.
My "church" had ALL and I do mean ALL the signs of a cult. I got excommunicated in front of everybody by the pastor/"God" and believed God had abandoned me forever. Devastating, tormenting for DECADES until the Holy Spirit finally broke through these lies with His truth - that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God.
False leaders want to dominate and exploit you. True leaders want to teach you and see you grow. "For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and man, the man Jesus Christ". 1 Timothy 2:5
Spot on! I was told by this pastor that his goal was to guide me, a new Christian, in growing in Christ. He deceived me in that gradually, SLOWLY, his true goal was to dominate and exploit me. I have HUGE mistrust issues among others as fallout from this.
Excellent work. I have been outed from at least 3 churches for asking a question or because one so called sister in leadership didn't like me and had me disfellowshipped. It was traumatizing but God took care of me. Now..I'm in a healthy, great church. Well done sis!
Where were these videos 10 years ago when I needed this godly leading?????? I have had to navigate this journey without discipleship for the most part and it's been a nightmare I've prayed to wake up from. I'm 2.5 years out now and ready to move on. Finally. What a blessing to have some godly leadership and someone to validate what I've been through for 45 years. Thank you Jesus for rescuing me from the very pit of hell on earth!!!
@brideofchrist945 This woman is not talking about the Church; she is talking about Religion. But she does not know that she is talking about Religion. The Church IS NOT a religion: The church is the Body of Christ. The Body of Christ is Holy. The Body of Christ is righteous. The Body of Christ is all together lovely. The Body of Christ is alive. Et Cetera. Et Cetera.
Another sign of an unhealthy church is when the leaders project their seminary training as a lofty status, yet they are oblivious to spiritual issues such as narcissism and the demonic influence present in a member of their flock. When I started sharing things that my ex-narc wife was doing, and that I was walking on eggshells in my house, the Elder told me that I needed to just ‘love’ my wife more..???! The Elder would take my wife’s side during our counseling sessions and would refuse to hold her accountable for the way she was treating me. It was then that I realized that no one was coming to save me - I had to save myself. Never felt so disrespected and unheard than when I was going to those ‘counseling’ sessions. Unreal!!
My heart goes out to you. I tried talking to a female member / friend / mentor from my church about my troubling marriage of 25 years with my emotionally dead narcissistic husband. I told her I've tried everything, every angle, every option, for years, to get him to talk. She basically waved her arm in the air and said I just have to learn to keep my mouth shut. Yet she is a "pillar" in the church. My husband openly cried in church, sang loud, helped elderly with the doors and walking, scanning the room to see where he can help out ... all this as long as someone could see it!! Fake fake fake. Yet no-one knew he ignored emotions, growth, and bonding... with me and our two adult children for forever. And the friend basically sided with the fake even though it was such a struggle for me to open up with her in the first place and she could see that, plush the anguish and tears on my face. The more I learned about narcissism the more it made sense. Also I want to here a pastor close prayer with "in JESUS' name, we pray, Amen" .. that's another story. I've left that church, soon to leave the narc and seeking wonderful information on line from many people like Shaneen. May God bless you I.I.
@@susanl698 Thanks, Susan! I know the deep loneliness that’s present in a relationship with a narcissist. Now that I’m out of that mess, I’m slowly healing from the heartbreak. Stay strong and be diligent to guard your heart throughout your exit plan. In addition to this channel, there are other channels on YT that approach this from a more clinical but super practical point of view that provide a TON of information and guidance to help you navigate your journey. Let me know if you’d like the links to these sites. God bless.
@@LoveOneAnother1758 No, it was a ‘reformed’ church. They are good at expositing scripture, but woefully unaware or ignorant of the practical spiritual issues people face on a day by day basis.
I love how after each warning sign, you share what a healthy situation looks like! It gives better context, and the scriptures you share make it all the more clear❤
Wow this was awesome, I recently discover my pastor to trust in famous prophets too much I don't trust any men but the word of God, so i've been praying about this and also to find a church that believes in the gifts of the Holy Spirit without all the craziness made up by men.
But there is a hierarchy like it or not. It’s is a matter of finding out who has authority. I went with the organization that decided which books would be included in the Bible. The Orthodox Church. The fruit of the church is the saints so look for the church with the most saints.
@@katierucker2870 ha ha, I guess if you were raised Protestant anything goes, but for Catholics and Orthodox there is something called Canonization which has a few qualifications to meet for sainthood. Feel free to call yourself a believer though. God bless your journey of salvation working it out and all.
You nails it, sister. Awesome! I definitely see Seventh-Day Adventism, Jehovah Witnesses, the Mormons, and other similar organised groups in this video.
I just left the Mormon church. It has all 10 of those cult signs. I’m so grateful to be out. Even though I lost my identity by leaving that cult behind I’ve gained so much more that I’m extremely grateful for. My relationship with the Most High God now means everything to me.
My husband got very annoyed when I asked questions, even about trivial/house related things. He said that questioning was a sign of lack of respect for him
I left a church that accused you of the Jezebel spirit if you questioned the pastor or questioned a leader. I wasn’t the first, I’m sure I’m not the last. It’s so sad. The pastor told my husband that the church board wasn’t really making any decisions, it was for looks because “he’s the king” of the church. Wow!!! So glad to be in a church now where Holy Spirit is allowed to move and people receive healing from hurts.
My favorite is when church staff or leadership revel in the “trials” they are required to endure whenever their wrongdoings are exposed or questioned. “We must be doing something right if the devil is attacking us so fiercely”. 🤣🤣
This is spot on! Thank you for sharing. I used to attend a church during my teen years and the youth pastor told me that if anyone outside of the church told me otherwise regarding knowledge and biblical information that they were wrong. I wanted community and belonging and I feel certain adult leaders took advantage of that, then when I wasn’t complying in a biblical manner I was shamed and then sort of shunned ultimately. I hope if someone else is in a similar situation that they have the courage to leave as soon as possible. It’s hard but worth it
It’s crazy to me because there are people in church who really want community, but if they dare ask a question or “challenge” the leadership, they are shunned by so many. It’s sad. I’m sorry you went through that. Hopefully another church will appreciate you.
I think it’s a huge topic that nobody wants to cover because there are a lot of pastors that grind it into congregants heads “touch not mine anointed...” to name only a few. I’m sure a lot of pastors are constantly under attack and are trying to defend themselves, but I’ve seen so many congregants protecting the Church and pastors when there are times we need to question things that are unbiblical. We are all still fallible human beings; the only person who walked on this earth that was infallible was Jesus. We forget that!
@@shelleybayless8968 I used to go to a church that endorsed prosperity preachers that abuse and misquote the "touch not mine anointed" verses all the time and the pastor of that church was arrested for sexually abusing his adopted daughter and the whole church stood by him and blamed the victim
Walking with the Love off God keeps you healthy, if others walk unhealthy peacefully delete. That includes leadership that become boss. God is boss and HIS WORD underpins your direction.
This was confirming for me, i was in "discipleship" for 3 and half years come to find out they had all 10 of those signs, God dismantled the whole thing because He is rich in mercy and grace, but im so grateful the Lord has placed me in a church that Loves God and Loves people! Holy Spirit has His way every service and we're all equal there is none above the other, we work in unity and move as one, and Holy Spirit does so much with that atmosphere! Im eternally grateful for Gods deliverance and love!! Great content woman of God! Very informative! ❤
I was most def in a “church” cult…wowww. God has recently taken my husband and I out of there, Glory to God!! Supposedly the leader there is now telling our friends “to watch out” for us….major confirmation…just because we left. They make it seem like their vision and church is the best ever, and only they are in the right path. Wow I pray the Lord opens their eyes
Holy smokes! You nailed it on the head! I served in a ministry that sounds like the model you used for your 10 warning signs! Thanks! I needed a reminder of why I left!
Thank you Shaneen! I literally had just watched this when a friend messaged me voicing concerns about her church, and I recognized some of the signs you talk about. You are a blessing!
Just saw your channel today and am incredulous why there are not many many more views. Have seen two of your videos today: this and How to break an ungodly soul tie. So liberating and healing. grace and truth amply taught and with great insights. Henry Cloud and John Townsend were the last people I have appreciated this much. Thanks a lot for your work in His grace.
A man has a duty to be the leader of his family and to make decisions to keep them healthy and safe. It's part of the natural order. That's why boys who grow up without a strong father in his life are often troubled
Thankfully I’ve never had to go through this, but I watched this video because I am looking to join a church after years of being uninvolved. I’m worried of being manipulated as, unfortunately, I have had experiences (with friends and exes) of visiting their churches and just getting a really weird vibe, and then being chastised for not wanting to return. This video hits the nail on the head of what I was feeling. I also found it interesting that many of these cultish traits overlap with narcissistic abuse. Thank you for your insights Shaneen, your channel really is a beacon of light! ❤
Coincidentally it was the time of this video publication I started reaching out to ministries for advice on how to deal with a cult containing old friends. Without the structure this video now provides it would have been daunting for me to approach them alone. Now I feel I can. Thank you!
If you are in a cult, get out now! The fear of leaving is not worth the opressive and burdensome waste of your valuable living days on earth! dont waste energy wasting time... serve God for real!
"[...] For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” I have a theory that the Lord put this quote in the Bible because many churches unfortunately end up cultish. The position of being the "spiritual leader" is far too tempting and dangerous. It also attracts people who tend to have a dominant personality to begin with. Couple that with being able to manipulate scripture to their own will, and you end up with a cult using the Lord's name for evil. It's awful and devastating for families who fall victim to it. Praying for everyone stuck in a situation like that.
Study to show thyself approved. That's a Proverb. If we have a relationship with the Almighty God we're not easily misled. Just shocked at what some folks will try.😮
Seventh day adventist has at least 8 of all points mentioned, sadly. This is an opinion of a person with 40 years of experience in the SDA, in both national and international levels. Believe me, it is sad to say that there's no hope on the horizon...
Ok, I was in a cult once... but I was not in it so deeply as other ones... I was often seen as untrustworthy and as an enemy, because I was independent... I just waited that my mom would open her eyes to leave together... best thing we ever did, thank God 😊
I've been attending a church where the pastor Announced that he doesn't want anyone to be visiting other churches or for Members of other churches to visit his church on top of that, he said that no one in The church knows god more than he does.
That’s crazy. I went to a church where the pastor said that “church hopping” is wrong. Yet, most churches will tell you that you should find a church where you feel at home. Oh, the hypocrisy. It seems most churches like to compete against each other, even if they’re speaking Biblical truth, and get mad if you find a church you’re comfortable in.
I think when they start judging you for not going to every thing they have ever single week and the ones who go to everything are seen as "model examples." Like its starting to get toxic... start running! Things become Jesus + it gets weird. If you don't volunteer you are "less spiritual" and judged.
OH MY LORD JESUS, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, YOU HIT EVERY NAIL ON THE HEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. (Bring down the energy) In all seriousness this is so true this stuff goes on and on and leave people hurt and devastated, if it wasn't for the Lord's almighty hand my wife me and my children would have been completely destroyed because of everything on the list, the church started out so GOOOD I mean so good, but because of pride arrogance and a lack not just scripture but understanding scripture and scripture as a whole it deviated so far. Praise the Lord for his children and for someone talking about this and exposing it.
The Boston of Christ fits a few of these criteria. When I wanted to leave, they said if I did, then they would question my salvation. Automatically, I knew it was a cult. They think they don't have flaws in their doctrine, and all churches outside are false. They didn't like the idea of me leaving, lol. Too bad. Like what this video said. There's a bigger world out there, and God can still use people no matter where they are in their lives.
I'm in the process of changing a church and this video was helpful. There are other factors as well, celebrating Diwali in the church because it is a Festival of Lights (it is a pagan festival) speaking in tongues with no interpretation, no depth in the teaching but more of a life coach approach, asking for funds for expensive speakers and clearly saying that the money will come from us, no discipleship, pastor's absence, no fellowship and no accountability of their sheep.
Also by having an enemy "out there," the "pastor" preaches an extreme separation from the world; therefore they can manipulate the congregants to stay "in here where it's safe under my teaching." Then the congregants feel more like a "special family" and are more prone to looking up to the "pastor" for guidance.
i asked for a budget report and was refused. not too much later my first grader was attacked by two teachers there and when i confronted them the pastor had my wife and i asked to leave!!!
The church I was visiting someone was asked to leave for not tithing This happened during a Sunday service the pastor from the pulpit called him out and told him to leave I immediately got up and left and never return to that placeThey love the money more than the souls
@@legendaryangel1991 Read John 3.16 as you see God loves us all even those who may not be real.!Seek God, Follow Jesus and find a church that does the same.
Shaneen, you described perfectly the preachers of the prosperity, so called, gospel. I was involved in the prosperity gospel for forty years and all 10 of your points are spot on. I left that plantation, and the dogs came after me.
Thank you for such a clear statement that accurately describes cult sign in church. I was a member of a cult church for over 25 years. While cult churches are not specific to any denomination I believe there is a theological par- dine that fosters cult churches often. It is Charasmatic or neo- Pentecostal . I hope this information will reach many who are caught up in cult churches.
@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql I was at church on a Sunday; the pastor from the pulpit called someone sitting in the audience the pastor said that person was robbing God cause he didn’t tithe; the pastor then had that person thrown out of church that person was set as an example to non tithers I grabbed my bass guitar ( I’m a church musician) and ran out of that church never to return; they speak in tongues they give prophecies they lay hands on people but have NO love for the souls it was all about your 10% tithe I have a distrust of pastors that demand tithes telling people that God will curse you and your children if you don’t bring 10% of all your financial earnings
This is the same pastor who had a meeting with home owners; pastor wanted home owners to co-sign a $750,000 loan from a bank, home owners told pastor “we cannot co-sign for this loan” the following Sunday the pastor said from the pulpit that certain members at church had no faith, home owners ran out of that church never to return!
What is funny is that when you approach your average Christian with this information this lady stated, they will look at you like your crazy. I conversed with so many Christians over years about various things ranging from biblical versus to cults. These Christians like to look at people like they are crazy when those people have a different line of thinking. I believe in God and want to go Heaven, but dealing with some of these judgmental Christians can be problematic sometimes.
Im grateful to God the many blessings I received from that church and it holds a special place for my first love in Christ as a new creation and if I left that church before it became a cult okay but I just got confused that as a baby believer the pastor refused accountability and he said because they were not legalist
Do you think the narsisstic family is a cult? My experience as the scapegoat of almost 60 years - finally two years no contact - after trying everything leads me to think so
Yes! Narcissistic families are run like cults. Jerry Wise speaks on this and he used to be a pastor and is also a therapist and life coach., Watch his videos.
Peace Shaneen. I have been finding your videos extremely helpful! Would you be able to do a video on how long it takes to do spiritual clean up in order to advance to the next level? This would be most helpful! Thank you so much, in Jesus ✨
Shaneen, amazing job, although hit me between the eyes. It took me so long to see... So much good at the start. Many lives changed for the good. Our leader claims to be like Moses, and his financier his “Aaron.” They won’t forsake this ridiculous position after several people confronted them about it. Use of intimidation, gaslighting, fear, not allowing contact with those who leave ...
Yeah those are usually the signs of an unhealthy church...It is sad when a ministry can start off so well, doing so much good, and then go off track along the way.
Cindi, do you not think it to be your Christian duty to publish on line your experiences as your then pastor's 3rd wife to warn in advance any candidates visiting DAL who might be considering becoming wife no.4? Also, what documentary evidence was given to you that your pastor had legally divorced his 2nd wife before you become victim no.3?
Yes I do consider it my christian duty. Timing, venues, and other factors are being prayerfully considered with counsel. Mary and Dr Hovind’s marriage was not with a state license, and was less than one year, therefore Dr Hovind served Mary with an annulment. She made it clear to me she would not return to him for reasons I then did not agree with, however, now I understand them.
@@cindilincoln so you were Kent's wife? I use to watch Kent's videos for years still do. I'm sorry for what happened to you it was wrong and do you regret ever getting involved with kent? And it's shocking to believe he's really like this also
@@cindilincoln also I may add it's a Mans first duty to protect he's wife. Kent should have protected you immediately. Also don't let what kent did to you break your faith in the Lord cindi. Many people do wrong under the name of God but those are who do are not truly Godly people
Thank you for this video! I am currently very concerned about Lifewise Academy beginning in our town and so many of the things you said are exactly what I’ve been trying to warn people about.
whenever a preacher says he is an apostle u tell him sorry that quato was filled years ago but thanks for applying.for more indetail on this subject watch justin peters ministries.
I went through same tragedy since 2019, ,till 2022 in January, until my eyes began to open. Till daye I still live in confusion, not knowing if the decision I made to leave was right or not. They don't marry out of their ministr, your relationship with a leader is a determinant of your relationship with God,you don't freely exercise your gifts and talents,unless it is approved by your leader, all your life ,activities,rotates around the ministry, you are even criticized for. You are even criticized for taking a holiday out of town without informing your leader, in every life's decision,you are required to seek approval from your leader before venturing or else you are labeled as rebellious..and so many others. I even failed to perform my responsibilities towards my parents, seperated from my family because they were not believers, and we called that consecration. Worst of it all, I was in my final year at the university, but failed my exams because I studied and consecrated less. Rather, I spent many hours in chirch and in church service, and doing so many religious activities rather than studying.. Im now a drop out, because same year I lost my dad, and had no finances to continue. In all of this in all I was going through as a new convert, it meant nothing to most of. Well, occasionally they could express love in words but not in deed. I became so depressed, with many other things... Just to cut things short. I believed in the lord, but was shocked to rather live a miserable life in the lord, than when I wasn't in the lord.I practically had no life. Till date,I have lost "friends" friends from that ministry, because they consider me a backslider, and I don't match to their vision or consecration. Thanks for the message that is enlightening.
Calvary Chapel as a movement has several statements of faith that they call "Distinctives". Having been part of several Calvary Chapels for more than 20 years, I can comfortably say that the only Distinctive that they take seriously is this - "The pastor is accountable to no one except God." There rest of their Distinctives like the Lordship of Jesus Christ they might as well add LOL in the end because it contradict their teaching that the pastor is accountable only to God.
All of these traits sound like a Narcissist They also lovebomb,devalue,then discard just like a Narcissist Also sounds like the Narcissistic hive in families
Hello there. Although this is about signs of a cult, I cannot help but to tell that it was pleasing how you described your God and your view in the religion. Each human have their own beliefs and in those beliefs have different point of view. If we stop stomping on each other foot it would be a progress 😪 -from a humanistic-pagan
For me #1 warning sign is that what they teach is not in the bible #2 they teach that other churches might not be saved but the church they have is saved and going to heaven #3 they get people out of college (ie persuade ppl to make a major life decision quickly) those are my top 3
Beautiful video, thank you. Wish I could send it to my Jehovah's Witness family, but if I did, the consequences would be dire. JWs have all the signs, every single one.
well, when the current church process is we go, we sit, we listen, and we leave, and discipleship has been tossed out the door for church services. which, where did church services even come from? ive noticed that verse that says do not forsake the fellowship of the gathering of believers is often used to manipulate people to go to church, or stay in church, but when we are not in fellowship, and how many people are actually believers? i mean, i see the current church process as a dictatorship trap now, when all eyes face front, and we listen to a so called sermon for an hour, for what exactly? when the the bible says preach the gospel and make disciples? so, yeah, the church has become toxic because there is clearly no repentance, at all, church has become nothing more than a bunch of church goers, but no disciples.
im not ghod, i talk of my experiences.i listen all your words and i have a good confrontation thankyou.im exiting from a very hasrd time, so i need too peace and cares
Church today is about emotion and too formulaic. The people walk in and sit down, sing hymns, take offering, sermon, alter call, rinse and repeat every week. Most praise and worship is about what God has done for the individual, how they feel about it. Praising God for being God is almost non-existent in the modern western church.
