A good story... Having much less of "The Message" than previous posts is a definite improvement ! It allows being able to listen without cringing. My only complaint is the disappointingly flat and mechanical narration. It blunted the impact of the story quite considerably. As you seem to be committed to mechanical narration, may I suggest you upgrade your program.. There is definitely better software out there than what you are currently using. Story 7/10, Narration 4.5/10
Good story, but PLEASE take away the blue highlighting for the words-- It's very distracting/annoying! Also having a full line of text (8-9 words) would make it easier to read. I'm often in locations where I can't have the volume turned up, so I'm reading the text more than listening.
Thank you 💐🌺💐for all your effort & the time you put in when uploading this. It is really truly appreciated 🙏 ...the Empire will strike back (SW?) 😂 ....Federation of planets... (ST?)
There are some really good TTS services these days. Definitely much less artificial sounding than they used to be, although I'm sure a specialist with better audio equipment would hear it, along with the obviously unusual cadence and pacing.
I liked this. It was more a road map to a story. Less individual battles and adversities and more conclusions and results. This should be a way to map out a full story including heroes and villians. Maybe even a loyalist protagonist or 2.
I enjoyed this little story, but I do agree with you. I would love to see this expanded upon and given a little more emotion to attach to. It does read a bit like a the beginning of an older PC game that is trying to catch you up on history/lore to prepare you for gameplay quickly. There's a lot here. This could be expanded into at least one full volume, for sure.
Probably if like in RL there would only be a few people per ship and every thing automatic the people on board would be putting on a show that they had a bigger crew onboard 😂
Have an AI that just sends loads of chatter and messages around, as if there's a big crew... but they're all at home, naked, and pleasuring themselves whilst watching on a screen.
So on first meeting with an alien the alien broadcast a flawless audio visual broadcast and we picked it up? On what frequency? Over what means of transmission? Was their machine language even binary could our computer interfacing with there’s even begin to understand that garble was code and not noise? Yeah sure I guess they just “hail us” all ships can hail right? Just a standard aspect of all species. We use the same energy to convey data and all pick it up. What?
What if their species conveys data over long distance by manipulating gravity waves? Highly likely if you can travel that distance you control gravity. Something we could not decide or read. Nah. They just hail us and send a video feed.
I really want to know why he got promoted to general from being a scanner tech.on top of that wouldn't he be an admiral since he was leading naval battles in space? Dude just got put in charge of humanities defenses because he made first contact.
The entire thing is stupid, you don't reveal your defensive systems to a potential enemy, specially when they are stationary, sure they manage to see thru the stealth of that scout ship, but what if that not the best they had? You can't think you will be always able to see thru their stealth, and they have no idea what kind of weapons the "Galactic Empire" has, telling them you have satellites that "create" a "planetary shield is stupid, more so because they can't protect against everything, drop enough "rocks" on it and it will blow up together with the world, or just turn Sol in to a furnace and cook us alive, ignite Jupiter in to a second sun and we are also dead, so so many ways an advance enemy can make life death it ridiculous.
Who else would do it Russia? Barely half of their military equipment they have left works at all. Iran? Brazil? China? The US has the strongest military the world has ever seen. China has more naval ships because we don't count every crab boat in our waters as a naval vessel to inflate numbers just look at the difference in tonnage. I would be surprised if Russia could even make it to the moon and back at this point literally every one else in the world has ass tech except the US and Europe. So yeah you can leave earth in the hands of India or Afghanistan if you want but we will just get clapped before they make it to the upper atmosphere to defend anything.
These "stories" are all tell and now show. They aren't active fiction at all, and violate the most fundamental rule of all good fiction which is SHOW, DON'T TELL.
Yep. Show it in a text based story... 😉 Ah, come on. Most of these stories on the 'secondary' HFY channels are casual fiction, written for personal entertainment, from noobs. (With some help from AI to put things together and expand on some narrative, it seems, considering the use of certain types of trope sentences or statements that seems to crop up on them.)
Did you have to buy it off of a bookstore's shelves? No? Then why expect it to meet the same parameters as "good fiction"? That being said, At least you ACTUALLY put some real criticism down instead of just insulting the author like most of the negative commenters.
