Understandable, honestly. If your daily life is like this, you look for an escape. But also, these will be the rules the parents follow in the nursing home, so too bad for them for very likely raising an emotionally broken human. Clap clap
So true I have a similar mom just less strict on shower and food and I need to go sleep at 10 too but if they find me awake i will just not have my phone for the next day, can’t keep my phone at night and once I asked to go out with my friend and my mom said I’ll go with you and I said they are boys cause I am a boy and she said doesn’t matter, but true I am scared when I leave my house and finally get freedom I do the worse just cause I never had freedom and then regret it
Tucking in her mom is really weird, same with a parent sleeping in bed with her if she is caught awake. Also it would be a genuine safety concern of mine if i couldn't lock the door while in the bathroom.
like, ur own mom or dad sleeping in the same BED as u if ur caught twice not asleep. i feel like when ur younger, yes it’s okay if maybe ur mom or dad sleeps in the same bed as u but anywhere above 9 is just a big no no, unless there ain’t much space. plus, it’s an invasion of privacy if you can’t lock or shut the door while you are showering? what kinda rule is that? my own parents are strict, but they don’t go THAT far. my parents sometimes maybe invade my privacy but it’s mostly my mom and I don’t find too much of a problem since it’s just for changing or in the bathroom. these parents are gonna experience their own child doing concerning things when they turn 18+ and move out for a taste of freedom.
Those are some strict af parents. I feel bad for her if this is really true. Not giving a child freedom might make them feel trapped or insecure, people shouldnt do this. Have a great day ❤ (I aint a bot, just nice and grammatical)
Yeah I have the same except I don’t have shower rule cause I am a boy and don’t spend over 30 minute in shower, and my parent don’t sleep with me but same in bed by 10 even during holiday oh and I have no restriction on what I eat like I need to ask but like I don’t need to ask every time
this is TOO invasive and strict. You gotta let kids do their own thing sometimes. I understand being worried. But if they can’t sleep and are caught twice a parent sleeps in the SAME bed as them is wild. And showering with a door open is crazy and if you don’t get out at 8:30 your water is shut off? Strict is not the word for those parents, overbearing is. Hope she puts them in a terrible nursing home when they are older.
@@SKlBlDl_T0lLETthe people who say this, act like their parents money and houses will be given to them no matter what they do, like if their parents are forced to give you anything after you turn 18. You laughing at them when they get put in a nursing home They'll be laughing at you, dealing with getting a job and a house.
@@josephwilliams9786it's not worth any money to be treated like a puppet. I mean when my father dies, I doubt I will get anything. These parents are one of the worst parents that do not do physical harm. I would rate this abuse a 9/10. 10/10 is reserved for people who restrict their child's basic needs
That's not just strict that feels like whole abuse and gr00ming esp this thing abt showers, sleeping with parents and tucking mom to sleep like girl that's terrifying
@@Hatingonuuuuuu i didnt said that is certainly g*ooming, i said that this feels like it. This is DEFINITELY not normal when you should always leave your door open when you're in the bathroom, when your mother makes you tuck her to bed or she wouldn't leave and when your parents would sleep in your bed with you. This type of behaviour makes to desensitized to future abuse and possible predatory. This makes you feel like it is how it should be. And this is what predatory do. Makes you feel like there's a place for such things.
My parents were wayy worse. I freaking wish I had her parents lol. I wasn’t allowed any electronic devices even at home. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house except to go to school or church. I had to use a clear backpack. At school my parents (somehow?) convinced the principal to have one of the teachers escort me around to each class. Before and after school and during lunch I was with a teacher so they ensured I had no friends. At home I had no privacy. My room was a loft (no door or wall. Just directly connected to the hallways). The only thing in my room was a mattress on the floor and baskets of clothes (they only let me keep my clothes because I told them it would be illegal to not send me to school and illegal to send me there naked.) at home I wasn’t allowed any privacy. I had to stay within 20 feet of a parent. I wasn’t allowed to close the bathroom door for bathroom or showers and showers were monitored by my dad. (As in he watched.) they punished me by taking away food for weeks at a time. I could go on but these are some things my parents did. This is clearly abusive behavior but I also want to be clear that I did nothing to warrant the level of distrust they had for me. I didn’t have a chance to be bad.
@@Siltcat The "parents" rule - No locking the bathroom - No privacy - No social media - No going out unless patroled - Times for showers - Times for bed (for a teenager) - Checking in if they are in bed - Asking for premision - Not being allowed to wear what you want - Tucking her mother The rules in prison - Communal toilets - No privacy - No social media - No going out unless patroled - Times for showers - Times for bed - Checkin in if they are in bed - Wearing the same clothes Like I said thoes are more like prison rules and not normal rules in a household.
@@mahbubrahman7901 not really, i’m that age i know no one addicted to drugs at 14. It’s very rare in good communities and areas, and I bet the parents are in a good area with good communities.
Don’t worry. As someone who’s 19 and had similarly strict parents, you’ll actually do pretty good in the world from all the lying, manipulation, and sneaking around. My footsteps are nearly silent, I can talk out of most situations, I notice opportunities when no one’s watching to leave boring parties early, I know how to hide stuff, and I have a high pain tolerance. Someone who can sweat talk and make people uneasy, while still following authority without question is a perfect combo for climbing the corporate ladder.
I don't have super strict parents, but my siblings are when my parents are gone, so I am really good at lying, but my siblings think I'm terrible at it what they don't know it I have multiple secrets that I have kept from them that I won't tell them till I'm older and have moved out of my house.
I am a 14 year old girl and l now know that my mom (single parent)is a very fantastic woman who always gives me freedom.l don't have any curfews,l have my own phone,l don't like Snapchat 😅😅l don't have an Instragram,l do have a Pinterest account and that's it.l honestly feels so bad for you.❤
This just proves that strict parents will create sneaky kids as the rules don’t allow them to have freedom at all but kids with lenient parents have no rules to break and can actually come out as less sneaky and rebellious
Don't do this when your kids turn 18 there going to go crazy at the first taste of freedom I have seen this most of the time the get into drugs and alcohol as a act of rebellion
@@SiltcatWhen people who just became adults try to cope with their childhood trauma, they usually have no friends or family who would support them(especially if your parents drive your friends away). At that moment, they might find happinees and joy from things like drugs and alcohol. Because they don't know anything other fun as they had no good childhood, they start to slowly drift towards drugs and alcohol. And soon they are addicts who don't know any other life than alcohol and drugs. Those people are almost never mentally stable, and so are people with childhood trauma and panic attacks
Speaking of panic attacks, I almost had a panic attack, three days ago, I was on a trip to ski Egypt, in mall of Egypt, in Cairo, Egypt, where I live, I got back from the snow and I got my waist bag, I realized I forgot my kidzania passport and my wallet, so I got them, I then realized I forgot my phone, I checked locker 306, I didn't find it, I was worried because my channel is in that phone, and if I lost my phone, my mom wouldn't buy me another one, I looked everywhere, yet I couldn't find it, fast forward almost an hour later, I was about to have the panic attack until the phone was finally found, I was so relived, my panic attack amount started to decrease until I finally calmed down, and that's the story of how I almost had a panic attack, quick reminder, I'm one month away from being 12 yrs old, and panic attacks usually happen to people ages 13 and above, so, I almost had a panic attack early
Congrats to the parents! They have found a way to not solve their own mental health issues and instead have ensured that their child develops a whole bunch of mental health issues! When she grows up, the girl will most likely not be able to trust others, have very low self-esteem, not be able to have healthy relationships, and always be picked on and taken advantage of by dangerous people. Parents who stifle their children's personal development by not giving them privacy and not letting them learn that they are allowed to defend boundaries and how to handle certain things themselves are not protecting their child. They are ensuring that their child will be in danger later on. (Edit: Grammar, which really wasn't that bad for a text written in the middle of the night).
Hmmmm should i let you go? No Shut yo goddam mouth this aint strict at all unless your brain is broken wich this entire comment section is except the people who agree the parents arent strict wagwan if you want you can come visit me in the other replies
@@cccoster1281 True , they might even drive her towards drugs and alcohol necause as an adult she tries to find a way to cope with her childhood. Btw other people also do grammar mistakes, I once had a comment with 920 likes and it said Rome instead of some
@@Siltcat How old are you? Because you can't be over 8 if you want to tuck your mom when you're 14. My family loves me and they show it by giving me freedom and happinees, something what abusing parents don't give
“The tighter you hold onto the leash, the faster they run off when you let go” great saying for strict parenting. Fuck strict parents and great job on the children. I am one of them, well I used to be.
I’m 15 and my parents are only strict in no drugs, no alcohol and no smoking. They let me have freedom but let’s just say I wish they would take to a psychiatrist
Im 15, i hand in my phone and laptop when i get home (i need a laptop for school), so i have to do all of my homework at school. No social media or even youtube (i delete it when i get home) they go through my messages every single night. I cannot go over to any friends house and no one can come to mine. I cant wear crop tops, tanktops or shorts that are shorter than my mid thigh or any skirt that is shorter than my knees. I cant wear anything tight without being body shamed, this made a massive impact on 12 year old me as i hated going into public bc i thought i was going to get laughed at, (i know now that im not actually ugly). I then developed an eating disorder and when my parents found out they got rid of my phone, laptop and told the school that my friends put me up to it and i am not allowed to hang out with them. I spend my lunchtimes in the music room as i love music, i know that it wont turn into a career but i still love it, i dont take any lessons or it as a subject but over the years i have manged to teach myself a few instruments (last time i expressed my intrest to my parents it did not go well). I talk to my guidance counselor at my school but she told my parents about my depression as she thought i was a threat to myself, this made it much worse bc my parents dont believe in mental health and they are going to make me move schools bc they think that im cant form any sort on opinion for myself and this is 'because other people have but this idea in my head'.
honey if I were you, I might’ve called CPS on myself. If you display any type of harmful behavior to yourself and your parents don’t do anything to help you, and it becomes a problem, you need to say smth. i’m praying for you🫶
Honestly my mom was the same way with me and my 2 brothers. She controlled EVERYTHING! Whether we could eat or not, what clothes we had to wear, even if we could go to school or not, she would even make us have certain hair styles, straighting my hair, and basically buzz cutting my brothers hair. If we did ONE wrong thing, she would either threaten to hurt us, or actually do it. One example is she threatened to cut my leg because I accidently scratched my 2nd brother (the favorite child). And we would even get hurt from our mom even if we didnt do anything wrong, she would just find a way to get mad at us. What hurt most is that now that we live with our dad, she wants us to come back to live with her, and when we would talk to her about her abusive behavior with us, she would deny it, or blame it on our dad. She basically wants us to be misreable, while shes happy. It makes me so upset, its like she didnt even care that what she was doing was wrong, and has caused HUGE mental scars on all of us.
I know 😢 we are the same I wish you joy 😢 and hope that you will be free to feel, be who you are and do as you feel is right. TO THOSE PARENTS YOU BLOODY LET HER BE A TEEN AND FIND HERSELF YOU UNDERSTAND
Ik a lot of ppl are js gonna say the parents are looking out for the kid but in this case it’s more than that, it’s about control. Establishing a power dynamic that says I’m better than you, and everything I say must be done no questions because I can take away your “privileges”. I’m 15 and I have a very relaxed parent, my mom is very lenient on what I can and can’t do and I’m so thankful I have some ounce of freedom and privacy. You can protect your children, but not like this. It gets to an extent where your child is going to end up resenting you in adulthood.
No it doesnt this is perfectly normal if i could copy and paste a comment i would show you one of my replys where i go through all 'strict' (quote and quote) rules and give a reason for each one
That's not strict enough. 1. I wasn't allowed to have a phone, tab, laptop till I was 20. 2. I wasn't allowed to stay out overnight in anywhere, even at my mom's place cause she's married to another man (they're divorced). 3. I don't have any sleep restriction but I have friend restriction. They have to know and approve my friend set. 3. I can't wear anything too tight, too showy, no tubes, no short skirts, no shorts and no sleeveless. In short, I have to remain conservative even if the heat is making me go insane. 😅
My household used to be extremely strict. So much so that i wasn't allowed to be in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes if I wasn't showering. One time when I was 13, I had constipation and had to spend about 20 minutes. When I can out, my sister immediately called my mom, who hit me twice. I'm glad I moved out.
@@damayantiprasad7458 you shut the (had to remove or couldn't post) up, you sound like an 8 year old and I GUARANTEE you don't know anything about parenting so you don't have a right to speak about what's strict and isnt
I’m going to college in the fall, and my parents warned me that since there will be kids who had such strict rules growing up, they will go wild on drugs and other things without any regulation. My parents had strict rules for me that loosened as my brother and I grew up. We still have some finite rules, but they are to keep us safe, and we’ve never had any issues with them.
Probably because the girls were b1tches Well it depends if they kill themselves over something like the parents in thsi short then yeah but stricter no thats still horrible
Rules that makes sense and aren't abusive: Handing over phone + laptop No Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat Time limit on shower 10 pm bedtime Asking for permission to watch a TV show Rules that make no sense/ rules that are basically abusive: No locking bathroom door No going out with friends without mom Parents sleeping in bed Asking to eat food (only makes sense if it's a treat/ if it's being saved for a specific reason) Mom picking clothes (maybe a "house dress code", and she can pick clothes within that) Tucking mom in I have some of these rules, and they aren't so bad (no insta or fb or Snapchat, and sk about movies and tv shows -not always- ) But i feel bad because some of these rules are straight up abusive.
So I use to think my parents were strict... as I grew I realized they had my best interest in mind. Here's my family rules. (For me anyway. My siblings rules can vary since were different ages. I'm in my middle teens) 1. Bed time is 11, but in my room by 11:30 is ok. 2. No phone in my room at night. I can have my laptop or tablet in my room at night though. (Still not sure why) 3. During the school year only 1 hour of electronic entertainment 3 days a week. Mon, Wed, Fri. None on Tues & Thur. Weekends doesn't count as long as we don't slend all day on electronics. And school, educational, communication beneficial things on electronics has no limit any day as long as were not doing it the whole day. 4. No social media, save Pinterest and YT. 5. No texting people online. (There not as strict with me on this one as long as it's a game and the conversation relates only to the game) 6. No super violent video games (I don't even like video games) 7. No electronics till chores are done. 8. No giving or getting contact info without permission. (Although now they have begun to let me have freedom with this decision as long as I inform them.) 9. I'm homeschooled and get up time is 8 am during the school year and whenever during summer. 10. Christian music only unless you have permission to listen to something else. 11. I don't have to ask to watch certain movies anymore as long as I look up a content review and my parents know that I know what I can and can't watch. (I have a lot of freedom in this area. I can watch like LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc) 12. The same rules in 11 apply for books. 13. Keep conversations on devices appropriate. (Although I do... to be fair I can't remember one time where my parents read my messages.) 14. Keep clothing modest. (We can choose what we wear as long as it follows that rule.) 15. We cannot go outside if our parents are sleeping. 16. No cussing. 17. No drugs or alcohol. (Duh) 18. No eating snacks as a meal. Food is for meals and snacks is for snacks. 19. No devices at dinner. (This one can be broken in some circumstances) 20. Knock before entering someone's room. Also no locking your bedroom doors unless you're changing. (We can lock bathroom doors.) 21. Parents have to know all passwords. (Although they never remember mine and I can hardly remember a time where they have actually used my passwords. They don't know most of mine and like only ever ask when I need them to do something on my phone like when I'm driving) 22. Get at least a C- in school. 23. Be respectful to everyone. There are other small rules that aren't really necessary for me to list but those are the main ones. To be honest though this is my parents rules for me now as a older teen. They were stricter when I was little but have slowly become less strict as I grow up. I'm also a very responsible child so I've always had more freedom than my siblings. I also happen to have matured faster. And I'm a natural rule follower. I bet those 3 aspects have played a part in why my parents aren't as strict with me.
Rules I think she should NOT have. (I’m not a bot btw.) The bathroom one is invasion of privacy and I don’t like people coming in. The laptop and phone is also a invasion of privacy as they are checking her stuff. The bed being caught once is very creepy to me like I don’t want no person checking to see if I’m sleeping. The second one is horrible like a parent has to sleep with you??? If your dad is allowed to do this im very concerned. Having a time to shower is stupid. She’s 14 like 10PM? I’d say 11 or 11:30 (early if she has test.) Having to be chosen what to wear is not fair as it is HER body like I get if it’s like too revealing but something not too revealing,mother is trying to control her fashion interest. Asking permission to eat something is horrible and stupid like what if parents aren’t home? Oh I gotta wait till they come back?💀 Having to tuck your mum who is a full adult is stupid like she’s not a child and refusing to go asleep if she doesn’t tuck mother in is childish. Having to ask what to watch is not fair (I wouldn’t allow to watch like stuff that’s not for 14 year olds but she shouldn’t have to ask to watch a show.) No Instagram Snapchat or Facebook? She’s 14 she can have those. She’s 14 like you don’t have to accompany her when she wants to chill with friends like that just means your mother does not trust you.
Laptop I don’t think it’s an invasion of privacy, just checking are you swearing online or some stuff, usually my mother tells me to sleep at 9, only if weekend she doesn’t care No parent would force their son to wear too revealing clothes, if not that abuse. Eating you can secretly take some Parents can be overprotective of their child watching some stuff they aren’t supposed to I still don’t have any snapchat facebook or insta since I also isn’t allowed to It’s just the mom being overprotective as hell
@MaxErous fr. As someone who’s the same age as OP, I feel like none of these rules are really that strict(except the parents sleep with her, that’s a little weird). While these rules set boundaries I may not be entirely happy with, there are still other ways to find joy and not be bored. I love my parents and are very thankful that they care about me, keep me safe, and help me set good habits ☺️
As a 13 year old girl ever since I was a little child my parents had set some rules some of them were No Facebook,Instagram,Tiktok and overall no personal Account on any app Parent must be present at all times when I am outside or inside my house No trusting anyone except my parents and my grandparents it even includes m Other family members .No personal devices until age 20 (I can.only use my mothers phone to text but she will always check after me ). No Cartoons as it wil give me "Bad influences" No staying up after 10pm.If caught you will get yelled at I am now 19 years old and finally have some privacy but to my younger siblings they have the same rules
TILL 20?! MY GOOD SIR/MA'AM YOU ARE AN ADULT WITH FREEDOM AT THAT POINT (If you're in the US) AND THEY STILL SAY YOU CANNOT HAVE YOUR OWN DEVICE BY THEN??
What is wrong with your excuses for parents A lot of these parents clearly don’t know what they’re doing or how to be a responsible caring parent or anything of the sort
thats way too far they CANNOT control you like this. get a phone, treat yourself, do anything you want as long as its safe. youre an adult. if they object you have to make them understand youre an adult and they cannot be so overbearing
I would say that could be considered unsafe if you can't eat when you want. Also if it causes severe anxiety the medication or therapy could be benefical. My sister has severe anxiety and it is easier for her with meds. (DISCLAIMER: NOT A DOCTER, JUST TRYING TO HELP)
I have the bestest parents ( everyone does but i think mine are just❤) I can sleep anytime i want before 2:30 am I can shower anytime I can go to my friends house I get what i want My room is filled with toys and plushies I get the thing i wanna eat ( except for those days i cant) I can go anywhere but an elder should be with me to keep me safe
After spending a considerable amount of time educating myself on the right way of parenting, I've realized that every level of strictness equals abuse. The literal meaning of abuse is misusing power to hurt someone. The only exceptions of strict behavior is if it's better for the child/teen, and thus not abusive. For example, "You can't go to your cousin's house because your uncle is being creepy." or "You can't see your grandparents because they're abusive people." or "You can't go to clubs because it's dangerous."
Having no social would likely make you end up having no friends even with the bad stuff in it, even tho you can easily avoid that, having no social life until you’re an adult just makes it more dangerous to use it afterwards as you don’t learn to avoid certain things,
@@Playeryewen tbh, at 14 social media isnt a good thing to have, as a teenager myself, i know that exposing myself to social platforms wasnt good for me, it makes people insecure, exposes a person to hate, toxicity and a whole lot of other stuff that is bad for their self esteem and image. compared to the other rules? social media is fine, but for a normal household id wait or limit social media untill like- 16-17
@@Digital_Dandelions I get your argument but what about people in their late 14’s or 15 years old also search history counts a lot in what you watch in these social media, if you Whatch things with bad influence, it will mess you up in the future but if you don’t you’re all good especially when you only use social media to communicate with friends and nothing else
Whats abuse is reading your comment all these rules are fine. Do you support your child sneaking out a night and doing drugs and smoking and watching 18+/r rated movies at 14 cause to me that sounds like BAD PARENTING
overly strict parents don't make good kids, they make sneaky kids. my parents were strict growing up, even had people tell them that they were "too hard on us", but when I got my license my mom told me "you're old enough to make your own choices, be responsible" I don't have a curfew but if I leave the house i am expected to let her know even if its just a text, it was a good amount of strictness growing up while still letting me be independent
@@Siltcat having to HAVE your mom with you when you go out with friends is overly controlling. at that age i understand having a responsible adult present but usually one is enough. the parents going through the devices weekly is invasive, i knew full well that my parents could and would check my shit if they felt it necessary, but a weekly check at that age is invasive, shes just gonna learn how to hide things. and how is being forced to share a bed so your parents can keep an eye on you because you were up late not strict? only time ive HAD to share a bed like that it was because of a makeshift sui watch at home. cant say the actual word otherwise youtube snipes the comment
@@spicywaffle_They actually don't make sneaky kids They make kids who get panic attacks because the rules, and maybe even drug/alcohol addicts one day
@@bluesolos they also arguably make kids more sneaky, i got real good at quite literally sneaking around and hiding things i didnt want them to know about, my mom used to go through my room fairly frequently and i just moved hiding places
honestly when i become a parent (if, i do want to tho) the rules id set would probably look something like: (14-16 and under) -dont take a shower over 45 minutes, (give or take) -Hanging out with friends must be schedualed and i must know where you are going (or have a tracking app on phone) -Bed time is 10:30, unless previously discussed (for studying ect.) or on weekend nights/holidays. -if caught awake, electronic devices are taken away for the night -choose 2 social media apps, unincluding youtube/ -phone is allowed but must not use phone during family dinners , lunchs, breakfasts. -no dating untill at least 13 -skin products are allowed but make up is banned untill 15 -no wearing overly revealing clothes (such as crop tops that are litterally just bras or super mini mini skirts is this too much? i realise im abit harsh on no makeup rule and that teens may like it but ive seen people my age go from makeup free to cant live without makeup because now they feel ugly without it
I'm not a parent but those sound pretty good to me. Expect maybe the makeup should be little lower like 12-13, but only with few simple makeups, not some 2 hour makeup everyday
That’s the type of crap my mother wanted to inflict on me and other things that are much worse then folks wonder why I became so rebellious and refused to listen to anything anyone had to say. What she did wasn’t parenting that was abuse and some of the rules were creepy too like the bathroom rules. Exactly why I don’t want that nutcase raising my kids, especially not my daughter to try and make her insecure or have low self esteem and start looking for love in the wrong places when she gets older from abusive controlling creeps. I found it hilarious when she called me the other day asking why I hate her so much? The audacity as if she thinks I forgot any of the evil she did to me. I was a happy confident kid in Jamaica when my grandmother finally started raising me and I finally had stability, until I moved to live with her in America and she tried to destroy that for me. Glad I got my old self back.
Yes I agree this is TOO STRICT! They make you shower with the door open? That’s invading privacy, the phone thing is not strict but asking permission to eat something is over the line strict, I mean if it’s something before dinner like candy or something then I kinda understand, but if it’s like a small snack then I don’t know. (I’m not a parent but just giving out my opinion)
You had me in the first 3 words but then you lost me this is normal and good parenting you need to stop promoting letting parents let kids do drugs and smoke and have s3x at 14
@@SiltcatMy parents have been letting me go out with my friends and walk to home alone since I was like 7, and I have not tried drugs, vape or s3x even tho that I could technically have some. I also don't have any plans to do something like that, even if that I could get some chance. Btw this is a pretty safe country so I can walk to school without 10 bullets in my head
@@Siltcatwowwww you're just annoying atp just saying that the parants aren't strict, they're just abusing their powers and they're pretty much predators
Not being able to shut the door! My parents don’t allow me to lock my bedroom door unless I have a good reason but I always lock the bathroom door. I feel like that’s just weird and an invasion of her privacy. And a parent sleeping with her! This is all just creepy.
Ahh yes because if my child goes and locks a door and has a heart attack or stroke and i cant get in to help them is amazing and sounds great to ke what about you?
@@Siltcat I highly doubt your child will have a heart attack or a stroke if they have health issues causing seizures, passing out, or smth that requires immediate medical attention… then no they should not lock the door. But I wasn’t talking about a child that has a big possibility of needing medical attention
My parents are similar to hers. I'm 21, still living in their house, and some rules I have ever had (and still apply to this day) are: you can't close any doors, not even bathroom doors or bedroom doors, couldn't have socials until 18 (had them at 15 for school related stuff), can't make friends in school as that is a place to learn and study only (the bullying ended up being pretty bad, and had my first friend at 17, with whom I ended up with and turn out into an abusive a**hole), couldn't go to classmates' houses for projects it always had to be mine, I can go anywhere without asking them first (i started to hang out at 17, with my now ex), if I want to eat something I have to ask them first (this one nowadays I don't follow as much, only if my parents are home), if they see me with my phone when they think I shouldn't be using it they'll take it away, and many more other rules they subtly imposed. And yeah, they've caused me mental health issues, some I still deal with today.
I consider myself a fairly strict parent, but these rules are insane! I understand, you love your child and you want to protect her, but I think this is a really bad case of invading your daughter's privacy and preventing her to grow as a person.
No they arent insane Also incase of an emergency what your child locks the door and she has a heart attack or something. I know tis unlikely but could still happen. Then you'd be stuck outside not able to help your child also its not hard to say "hey im going to the toilet" or "im going to the bathroom dont come in"
@@SiltcatThen you have to break the door. Hammer, bat, gun, axe, you can smash a door broken even with a hand sometimes. What if she has a panic attack because her rules, would you still care about the emergency?Do you really think that people believe and remember that someone said don't come in bathroom?
14……? It’s absolutely ridiculous how strict these parents are it’s sad this can lead to PTSD anxiety depression etc. I can get some of this for ten and below but freedom is a real thing and is needed in the world
if you were a parent would you make your kid let you sleep with them if you caught them awake 2 times, would you stay awake all night and check on them every four hours to see if theyre asleep, would you restrict their food would you be so overly strict with so many rules you give your kid panic attacks over the anxiety of acciedently breaking one, giving youself a more likely chance for your kid to participate in drugs, alchohol, or adangerous sex for just a sense of freedom and rebellion as they were never allowed to have simple freedom or guilty pleasure like to have a sandwich without asking you for permission
“The world is like a sky, and the people are doves. But, at some point, the cruel parent birds would lock their innocent children inside a cage of darkness, until the dove k1lls itself. All people deserve freedom, but not idioticity” - m3l0np4nn
I'm 14. I have to ask to eat something and my parents yell at me for asking to make a sandwich or toastie. I have to make my 6yr old sister breakfast, clean up after her and I do almost everything for her because she likes me more than my parents. I have to watch my 5yr old sister alot of the time and deal with her tantrums. There are times where I've had to make dinner for me and my siblings (I also have an 11yr old sister). I share a room with the 11 yr old and 6yr old and usually have to be asleep at 8:30pm. Thanks to an old friend of my mother's who was my toxic ex-bff's mother, my parents installed parental controls on my phone so almost everything was restricted and my phone shut off at 4pm and they use to search my phone thoroughly and they just let my best friend watch and she'd constantly harrass me about what was on my phone and personally ask to read my texts.
I get the social media rule, my mom doesn’t let me have any of that either but she also lets me take the public bus by myself, be home alone for up to 6 or 7 hours, and lets me have my privacy. She does have some other rules, like I have a downtime on my phone and such, but while she is strict to an extent, she will listen to me and share her concerns when necessary. These are the kinds of rules that prove that someone is a good parent and having too many rules can and will lead to a child hurting themself, as well as being straight up unnecessary
My friend has similar rules shes 12f and is not allowed to have snapchat but her brothers can 15-8. they check her phone every weak shes never allowed to go to after school practices but again her brothers can,shes has to ask permission to be friends with people,and its not like shes a bad kid shes a grate person people pleaser and good grades i feel really bad for her
Rules my parents have -no shutting my door or locking it. I can only close the bathroom door when I'm showering (I asked to because my little brother kept peaking in the shower.) I can't lock it of course. -no social media besides RU-vid -lights out at 11 pm during the summer (which means no electronics, and I can only read.) -my phone goes in their room at night (every day except if someone is sleeping over) -they can look through my phone whenever they want. -my mom has access to my phone so she can shut it off Uninstall apps etc. -I can't just eat when or what I want too. I have to ask. I think that's the main ones.
Umm, no. As a 14 year who follows very similar rules I find these rules very reasonable, and while it sets boundaries I may not be entirely happy with, there are still other ways to find joy and not be bored. I love my parents and are very thankful that they care about me, keep me safe, and help me set good habits ☺️
I have a lot to say about this so buckle up. I am a teenage girl and have been through this before. When it comes to parenting, there is strict, overly strict and unnecessarily strict. As a teenager it is already hard enough to fit in without the barriers of parents who believe that kids don’t have a life outside of homes. The behaviour and morals of today’s society are fully disgusting; it can change the ay kids see the world and the way they behave. Being as strict as this makes children like us feel trapped and left out; it makes us vulnerable to social abuse and it makes us want to be more distant with our parents. I find some of these rules disturbing such as sleeping in the same bed as the child and needing to be tucked in.
Literally having strict parents just leads to us finding more loopholes into doing terrible stuff that could have been prevented if they just didn’t give us these strict ass rules.
@@Siltcat Could you explain? I do not think these parents are good parents, they limit the child from doing basically everything. A growing kid needs discipline yes, but parents this strict will just cause mental health issues. I’ve literally grown up with strict parents, rules like this slow down the aging process a ton making the kid more immature and once they are exposed to more people with non strict parents they will feel the need to lash out. This isn’t the same for all kids but is the case for many.
@@bluesolos well my explanation is. Society. You know children at 11, 10, and even nine are out vaping and swearing and bullying others and this can be a lot a worse at 14. So no, just because your parents let you do that. Doesn't mean it's the only right thing to do
@@Siltcat I'm pretty sure that if I would come home and have vape in my hands, I would get punished. I was free when I was 9-11, but I didn't bully, vape or do other bad things. When did Izsay that those bad things are right thing to do? And btw you forgot to answer some questions, so I can write them here 1) Why can't she lock the bathroom door? What if this 14 year old who wants some privacy is in shower, and her dad walks in? 2) Is it really necessary to hand your laptop and phone for a check every week?? That doesn't give her any privacy in internet, and not having apps like Snapchat when she's 14 is ridiculous! 3) No going out without a mom? Really, that just ruins all the fun. The op probably doesn't have any friends she can hang out with, and I can understand that nobody wants to be with her because she has her mom with her. So yeah, this rule makes her have no friends. 4) Only 30mins in the shower? My parents would also complain if I would waste water for 30 mins, but what if she does women things which can take time? Also what if she has shampoo in her head and the water gets turned off? 5)Why does a 14 year old need to be asleep at 10PM? She's not 5 anymore, a normal 14 year old can't even fall asleep at 10PM! It's not like she can control when she falls asleep 6) Having to sleep with a parent is ridiculous for 8 year olds, but what about 14 year olds? Is it normal to you that a 14 year old girl has to sleep with her dad if she isn't sleeping at 10PM?? 7) Why does her mom decide what she wears?? Op should have some freedom to choose what she wears, not have some mom who decides what she wears. She's probably bullied in school if people know that her mom chooses what she wears 8) Why does she tuck her mom when she's 14? People stop doing it when they're like 7. It isn't really necessary and it's very weird that her mom doesn't leave her room if she doesn't tuck her 9)Why can't she have her own taste and watch what she wants? Why do her parents tell her what she can watch and not watch when she's 14?? 10)Having to ask permission to eat food is ridiculous. They could basically starve her with this rule, or feed any crap to her what they want. What if she's hungry and she asks her parents to eat something, but they say no? They should give her some freedom and let her eat what she wants! 11) Do you think it's normal for kids to have panic attacks and a fear of breaking a rule?? Why can't she have more freedom? 12) Do you think that all kids who get freedom go and do bad things? Kids who do bad things are mostly mostly those neglected childs or abused ones. 13) How is having panic attacks because some rules normal?
Imo a good general rule is that freedoms and responsibilities ought to be roughly even. As you age from childhood into teenagehood, the amount of responsibilities increases, but the amount of freedoms too. If your parents demand teenage responsibilities from you but you still have the same restrictions of childhood, that's too strict. Restricting certain freedoms in response to basic behaviour is fine, but imo there are also certain freedoms that ought to be immutable. If I were a parent I wouldn't leverage my child's friends against them - for instance grounding might be on the table, but you can still call your friends. I wouldn't use "you can't go to your friend's birthday party" as a punishment, because I don't believe it's fair to detriment a child's friendships as punishment. I wouldn't use my child's possessions against them apart from technology. I wouldn't toss out toys or treasured items as punishment. Even in the event of very very very bad behaviour, I personally believe certain freedoms need to be respected. If a child's behaviour is SO bad that they're not responding to any punishment, that's a sign there needs to be more intervention, not just increasingly extreme punishment to the point you've tossed out all their possessions and grounded them for a year with no outside contact. I feel like too many parents demand adult behaviour from their children but refuse to allow them adult freedoms - and neither is appropriate.
I have strict parents but this is insane like for example i pick my own clothes but my mom sees if it's too inappropriate. AND I DON'T NEED PREMISSION TO EAT LIKE WTF IS THIS i am SO grateful for my parents. And yes i didn't get a phone until i was this year and i still don't have TikTok and Instagram and stuff but i don't need it and maximum time i stay up is like 2-3am (in summer/weekend) and i actually think that some of the thing that i need premission to do or they don't allow me to do is actually good and NO parent is sleeping beside me for three day back in the day we were the once sleeping beside them
CONGRADUALTIONS to these parents cause those are the same rules you will be following at a nursing home!!! and when your kid trys drugs dont say "how could this happen we were such good parents" or "it was that phone" because remember all the rules and anxiety you gave them and really reflect on how you treated your child 😁
Yes they would say that becaude they raised completely properly what woulf let them want this is if the parents said "Hey dk whatever you want NO RULES" she'll try drugs and get addicted but sheilding it from her is good
I had a friend in middle school and her mom had her wear a gps collar thingy and she told the teachers to never let leave the classroom alone. She never allowed to be on her phone in her room only common areas she wasn’t allowed to eat seconds or have snacks during the day so she wouldn’t get “fat” they would drug test her every week even though she never end did anything bad I felt so bad for her 😭
I’m 20 years old but I’m not allowed to date, have non family member males on social media, have friends over, go see friends, I’m expected to do all the cooking and cleaning including for my mom and older brother, I’m not allowed to stay the night anywhere. Growing up and even now my mom has been abusive. Starting at the age of eight she put me in psych units because I would have separation anxiety and had behavioral issues so instead of trying to work through it with me she sent me away time and time again. My mom told me to just stay in a group home where I belong after sending me to two where I was once again abused. The way my mom has treated my older sister and I would be considered sexist because her and I were made to do everything while my brother got to do whatever all because we were the females in the house and it was our “job as girls”. My sister and I have decided to not allow her to live with us when it comes time so it’s either up to my brother or a nursing home. I REFUSE to live with a parent who doesn’t respect boundaries, who doesn’t show love or compassion and who for years and to this day abuses me.
My parents were similar to this. Not as bad but close. Even when I had my kids they were incredibly controlling. They always yelled and hit me and called me stupid. Everyone thinks I'm stupid. They used to talk to me to their friends so badly. I've started just cursing them out. I spiraled for awhile, self depreciating, but I'll never accept it again. It's gotten to a point where I feel everyone is against me, even the people who love me and s/os
If l be a parents my rule would mainly depend on there age like when there in highschool or college at that point they should not have a bed time since highschool/college work is a lot and l would give them freedom of leaving but l will tell them to Atleast keep there location on when visiting friends it not to be a creep but sometimes things can happen
I can't have any social media even if my friends parents are besties with my parents and say it's ok. I can lock any door at all. If I close a door too loud I get yelled at. If I accidentally drop something I get yelled at. If I say sorry to many times my mom get mad at me. I can't talk to ppl online no matter how cautious I am. I also have to put up with my mom's family's "love language" which is saying insults specifically to me or making me feel bad. They know I take things literally and I am very sensitive. What makes it worse is the cousin I look up to the most doesn't make it seem like she even loves me💔
As someone with Strict parents i Have to ask permission if Im Gonna eat smth, They wont let me go outside Literally… I Have to be asleep by 6:00 PM My Mum Has to Pick My Clothes,My Life,My School And Dreams…. If i want to be an Artist (Painter) She said i need to be a Mother That is a Teacher… The Thing is.. Im not intrested in dating… Im 17 And She still does this 17 Years Like this….
This is too strict because of obvious reasons and also that once allowed to be free from that, the child will almost certainly do dangerous things and maybe even drugs
Omfg my parents are almost exactly the same. I'm sorry to hear this. My life's also like this. I also can't lock or shut any doors. I feel your pain. I'm a 14 yr old boy, and just know that i hope that you find a becon of hope in your life. Never give up.
I think some of the rules like shower time 30 is good because you don’t wanna waste the hot water right the shower one is the only day that I see is not
It is nice unless she has some crazy hair that takes more than 30 minutes to do (example: mine is very curly so to untangle it I need the water to make it easier on me, most time it’s ever taken me is an hour at WORST)
In my house it was no colored nail polish until I was 13, I "technically" wasn't allowed makeup until I turned 13, my mom got around that because I didn't turn 13 tell January, no dating until I was 16, my boyfriend wasn't allowed in my room, he could come over but had to leave at dinner time, if he came to Christmas eve dinner or any family function he had to allow himself to be questioned by the family at that function, that's a lot of questions. Once I started getting tattoos "dress code" for funerals changed, the black veil was still there, but I had to wear a dress that covered 5 of my 9 tattoos, the other 4 were always covered because there on my back, it changed when my cousin Bobby died in the middle of July, I told my dad if he's gonna make me go to the funeral in a church that had no air conditioning in a dress that covered my wrists and past my ankles I wouldn't go.
The girl when she grows up:Why didn't you let me lock the bathroom door? Her psycho path parents:Why are you mad? You have no reason to hate us for that! The girl:And you have no reason to never visit me and stay in the nursing home for the rest of your life
As someone who had a very strict mom, your fried. Dont be surprised if your therapist diagnose you with depression and anxiety. or even a personality disorder... Thank God I'm free and cured from all that, but parents really need to understand that this overprotective behavior only makes the kid become extremely anxious, insecure, and even sometimes a criminal. Parents, do better. And kids, be strong. It gets better and dont feel bad for cutting ties with the parents. I had to in order to heal, and even got baptized and live a beautiful life in Christ who strengthens me.
I have really strict parents.So there are SOME of the rules they put : 1. No youtube no snap no insta no facebook.... or any of these (im on yt secretly rn) 2.My mom chooses what I wear. 3.She chooses the time we can stay on my tablet 4. NO PHONE 5. NO PLAYSTATION 6. I cant have my only room. AND AND AND these rules are only for me, my younger and older siblings can dow ahtever they want. PROOF : MY 10YO SISTER CAN WATCH RU-vid AND I CANT AND IM 14. 7.I cant wear makeup. 8. I still didnt get my eyebrowns done and didnt even shave ( how can she let me walk woth unibrows ?????) My older sib always made fun of my "hairy hands". 9. Ialways have to wear Very tight bras that give me acne and i always remove them and see that im all red. these are real im not kidding.
i started being more open with them and telling them upfront if what they are doing is worng, i still love them and they love me too they've just been stuck in a horrible parenting cycle
You have a certain amount of strictness in your life, if you dont have very strict parents as a kid then you keep those habits as an adult,if you're overly strict, the kids going to do something stupid when they're and adult
Just remember a couple of things, if you're an only child, YOU get to chose their nursing home and once you're 18 and out of the house, you get to chose when or if you visit/call them...........
I just so happen to be a 14 y/o girl as well, and tbh it doesn't sound that bad. Somewhat similar to my parents, except for a few things. Some things my parents are more lenient with, like what I can eat isn't monitored and I don't have to tuck my parents into bed, but some things are more strict, I'm not allowed to close any door inside the house, and I'm not allowed to go and hang out with my friends nor are they allowed over. I know my parents are strict, and it does get quite boring, but it's really not that bad. I mean, I still have electronics and I've learned to kill time with a variety of hobbies ranging from gaming to drawing to even picking up a few instruments. I've also learned to think, just lay down and think about things, and sometimes I can actually come to realize quite a lot about myself. Anyway, what I mean to say is, I don't find it that bad. I know my parents are strict, but is this as bad as everyone's making it out to be? Are everyone else's parents that lenient?
