This is literally me with my husband last night. We both were eating cake .. I was hyper focused on finishing mine, it took him over an hour to eat his, seemed to care less about it while I was about to eat his too.. I was like so you can think about other things when there’s a piece of cake in front of you. How do you do that ? 😅
My husband is the same! And it's only gotten worse since we've had our daughter, because now I either stuff my face with whatever food I can get or just go hungry as a WFH mom running after an extra active toddler... he goes to work, has a peaceful human lunch sitting down, and no cravings at all... while I basically inhale my food when I have a second to eat it, because that second might be gone in the wind of an eye.
You control your inner animal that is constantly thinking “I’m starving please feed me.” You sit it down like a child and say, “no, sweetie, you can’t eat the entire container of chips ahoy…”
@@EroticInferno I heard this same advice recently on a podcast. They also added to it by saying ‘what do you think a child would do the first day you set that boundary with them (after having the habit for a long time)?’. ‘They’d cry’. ‘Yeah and probably for a few days after that until they got used to it’. Really put it into perspective for me that you have to get through the bit that it’s uncomfortable and of course it’s going to be uncomfortable, until it gets easier
Quick advice it is perfectly fine to ask your partner for help with this. My girlfriend has a hard time not eating the entire plate even when she’s full so what she will do is she will tell me she’s full and then she’ll sort of push the plate over to me and I will saran wrap it and go put it in the fridge or put it in the leftover box to go or whatever. This helps her start and deal with healthy eating.😊
Yep. I often eat out of jars or Tupperware solely so I can just put a lid on it and put it in the fridge. I also don't like the overly full feeing so I just eat until it's enough and put it away for later. Even if it's really good it just means I can enjoy it later!
Something I've been working on lately is putting the food away as soon as I start to feel full, instead of letting it sit there in front of me and overeating. Plus I can always grab it out of the fridge if I'm genuinely still hungry. It's really kind of you to do this for your significant other.
@@emilybennett7864agreed, significant others (and anyone else) who support their partner w EDs or any kind of mental health issues don’t realize how special and wonderful they are. it can be such a struggle to go through alone and knowing you have a partner there to support you can make all the difference
Since having a bf I've noticed these differences even more. He can just eat whatever he wants whenever he's feeling hungry without overthinking it at all. I hope I can get to that point
@@nicotinedealer7653i’d think because usually men don’t try to live up to society’s psychical appearance standards, therefore they have always felt comfortable eating whenever without issues
@Betty.PfefferI just wanted to second this ❤ I didn’t have brothers but I had boy cousins. My grandma wouldn’t comment much to them, unless they got “greedy” and ate all the ice cream, but to me she would say things like “every time I’m in the kitchen here you are” or “do you always eat this much at your house?” 😭 like why is it a crime to eat food as a woman, damnit!?
My husband to a T 😂 Has really helped me heal my relationship with food over time. It is so nice to have such a positive example and have a partner who isn’t pressed about it.
I truly didn’t know this was possible till I put in years of healing but now I know it is. Absolutely wild. This is my favorite video so far of yours. ❤
@@lilyofthevalley1811 I start gagging when I walk past the fridge or look at food (even in packets) when it’s early . Maybe it’s too late . But I been drinking meal replacement shakes to at least get sum in my tummy. Thank youuuu!!
I'm like that "normal eater". I have ANA and went many years without a diagnose or proper treatment by masking my avoiding food habits as "healthy habits". I used to say to other people "I eat everything I want", and it was true, but also I "forgot" to eat most of the days and just have a tea and a piece of bread during the whole day. Often people were amazed by my self control (not finishing my portions, don't "binging" over ice cream), so that made me proud and wanting to keep being "moderate". I've been underweight my whole life, but not to an extent to worry the people around me. However, I started to faint, my joints are broken, hurting all the time, and my digestive system is all over the place. It is a very lonely experience, and it's hutful that nobody seemed to noticed my alarming habits. This short represented me and I can't say it shows a healthy relationship with food. I know that every person is different, but I wanted to share my experience, hoping it will help someone to accept their problems with food and look for help ❤
I was just coming to say the same thing. Restriction and excess are both equally dangerous. This is just promoting disordered eaiting and making people woth binge eating feel bad.
I will say this can be interpreted both ways depending on the context. You said how you would mask your negative behaviors as healthy ones. Well, there's a reason why you're able to mask them as healthy--because there are healthy behaviors that *appear* very similar but in actuality are drastically different. For example, when she forgot the Oreos were in the house and decided not to eat them at that time, she's listening to her body saying, "I'm not in the mood for these right now." Now, the flip side could be that she chooses not to eat them because of calorie restriction and not wanting to gain weight. The problem is that without the context of the motivation behind these behaviors, they can be interpreted differently. You can't mask something negative in something positive without at least something tying them together, which is another reason why people can get away with allowing their destructive behaviors present so blatantly. On the outside looking in, it's difficult to tell what the motivations of a behavior is and is why this short presents both ways. There's not enough time to explain the context of all of the scenarios. I'm not trying to comment on whether the behaviors you showed were obvious or not, and I'm not trying to discount your experiences in any way. I'm especially not excusing people's decision not to intervene and address any concerning behavior you presented. I'm sorry that people didn't stop to help because they felt like it wasn't "obvious enough" in their minds, and I'm so glad that you were able to find help and start your healing journey.
@@SarahxSurgery The video is definitely not trying to encourage disordered eating, even if the message isn’t really getting across. I had anorexia (in recovery about 7 years) & I get what she’s trying to say. When I was restricting I could not think about anything except for food, which is a very typical symptom. Sometimes people with disordered eating behaviors develop a binge-restrict cycle, like counting calories all day and then eating the whole box of oreos because the body and brain are begging for energy. And then restricting even more or exercising to compensate. This happened to me a lot as I was actively getting sicker before getting treatment. It’s so unpleasant. I think the point she’s making is that when you eat intuitively and get enough calories, your brain isn’t so hyperfixated on food all the time.
Watching this has absolutely made me realize how bad my relationship with food had become. Growing up I had a weird relationship with food but started to get better at it in my late teens/early twenties. Now I’m approaching thirty and food can be terrifying to me and since I’ve lost weight it’s such an extreme desire to never gain weight again.
Literally I think about food almost all day long. It was very hard losing 130 lbs and though I’m not always hungry, I can’t seem to just…not think about it
same i dont have issues with wieght or body image (not as much as i used to) but i still think about how to eat less and then if there is a cake or leftover pizza i literally cant stop thinking about it even though i am not on a diet i am always worrying about the next meal and how many calories it is
I’m in recovery and it was surprisingly startling at first to accept I’m always going to have cravings. the more you say no, the more of a habit it becomes to say no, the less actual temptation is there. But initially there was a lot of shame I still held onto for having cravings, and then I moved into frustrated anger with like WHAT DO YOU MEAN ILL ALWAYS WANT ALCOHOL EVEN WHEN SOBER, Wtf 😝😝😝 now I’m at peace with it
If you are craving/thinking a lot about sugar one thing to know is yeast in your gut can actually highjack your brain to think about sugar so they can get more fuel. It was an issue I grappled with hard.
Oh wow, I just had a little emotional moment with myself after watching this video. I think, I have arrived at this point after food controlled my life for around 15 years. I used to have to avoid having specific food in the house and struggled eating socially where people had much smaller portions, while nowadays my partner keeps pointing out that I leave unfinished snacks around the house lol. I don’t think about food in the same way anymore and sometimes (like in the video) don’t even realise when lunch comes around because I might not be hungry yet. I still eat big meals often but then I’ll feel full and satisfied, and no longer think about the next snack, or worry about my weight after that single meal. Very proud of how far I’ve come, it’s easy to forget. Sending everyone in the comments so much love 🤍
Yes, but for some people those aren't excuses, they're just the true. Believe it or not some people have a healthy relationship with food (I know right? How tf do they do that? Seems alien to me)
With an ED those are excuses/lies you tell other people and also to yourself because internally the food topic occupies you a lot. But I think the delivery of this video is a bit unlucky because being so goofy doesn't give it a genuine look. Might backfire in the psyche of some people with an ED. So I see absolutely where you are coming from.
This is so true! My husband has no food issues and he’s thin and in good shape and he has helped me so much with my food problems, just watching him and realizing what normal looks like has helped me regulate my weight, I love being able to maintain a healthy weight and not have any food rules! Im autistic so I enjoy the number game of calories but I don’t hold myself to any moral standards if I go above or below the calories I want to eat for the day I just have a range I like to stay in and it works for me :) it’s been better to focus on what makes me feel good vs just what tastes good lol
Definition of intuitive eater! I mostly eat healthy because I love healthy foods and I crave healthier options. I thought that I would never stop craving sugar and processed foods (less nutritious foods) all the time but I finally do I just listen to my body and when I crave processed or less nutrient dense foods I eat them without guilt thank goodness :)
After years of healing my relationship with food I feel closer and closer to this. People will say things to be like “you’re so lucky”. And I’m just like….this took a lot of work and it’s not all the time but thanks
I'm sloooooowly going there too. Congrats ❤ It's really not easy and I tend to relapse when I'm very anxious or feel my depression coming back. We'll get there 💪
@@sk22-12 I'm sure you already know this, but wanted to day it anyways. If you feel like you failed or relapsed don't feel to bad, just set your sights on tomorrow 🫶
@@MC-tl5bfexactly…. She stops when she’s full and doesn’t eat things that are bad for you just to eat them, only when she craves them?? What’s the alternative “healthy eating” lol. I have had multiple ED and this is the kind of life i aspire to, one without dieting. You should be restricting things within reason for your health. You don’t wanna survive off junk food but also you want to have a balanced diet to where you don’t feel the NEED for sugar all the time. She’s showing that.
That's a kind of "normal eater" that is not really a foody i would say. I consider myself as a normal eater but i'm enjoying good food as a really important part of my day ! You can enjoy and think about food and still be a normal eater thankfully 🥰
I have adhd and from the outside a lot of what i do might look similar to "normal eater" (i hyperfocus and skip meals coz i didn't notice, food sometimes suddenly tastes too food and cannot eat it, forget what food i already bought but too much effort to open now so end up with a lot of food that expires coz i just never got around to it, even safe foods suddenly become not-good randomly) .... But i get called a foody because despite my safe foods, i actually seek interesting flavours and interesting food i close my eyes and just happy dance in my seat 😅 hubby likes finding interesting cafes and food places and restaurants for me to see me happy eating... i will assess it for texture and flavour and scent etc But daily food is... a struggle. And yet this vid weirdly... weirds me out. Coz ppl could easily misinterpret me as being similar... but it's a problem. And not actually normal. It's a pain.
I don't even know why but I really really hate throwing out food. My mom isn't even one of those people that refuses to throw out food ar anything, even if the food looks fine if she thinks it's been in the fridge too long she'll throw it away to he safe. I never like throwing out food though, even if I know I won't finish it later. It makes me wanna cry sometimes honestly.
At a young age my parents told me I always had to finish all the food on my plate or I wasent leaving the table. Here I am as an adult over weight. Reteaching myself that I don’t have to eat it all if I’m full 🤦🏻♀️
You may have inherited grandparent genes who suffered harder times, thats how genes usually operate, not from parent to child, but grandparent to grandchild, sometimes these reasons are why parents can be at odds with their kids.
watching this makes me feel extra sad because my issues are recent and i remember so much of how i used to be and how i don’t think i can ever go back to that anymore. i feel like i’ve permanently ruined my relationship with food.
I’ve been working really hard on my relationship with food for the last 9 years and I realized I can actually say that’s me! Sometimes I go a little heavy on the less nutritional stuff when I’m stressed, but for the most part, I’m doing it!
Ok, but the stale cookie....I happen to have joint pain....that is very easily exacerbated by sugar. If I take a bite and it's not the best thing I've put in my mouth all week, it gets voted as 'not worth the pain' and politely tossed away later. That's how I personally 'do that'. But believe me.....there are PLENTY of things out there that are definitely worth the pain now and then!😂
I have huge amounts of joint pain so far I've been told I'm hyper mobile/semi double jointed but that doesn't sit with me as I'm becoming far less flexible my shoulder and neck are agony. Sugar can effect this?
The thing about intuitive eating for me is that often times I eat wayy less than I need to but I am trying to listen to my body and I don’t feel hungry at all. Like today I only ate about 300 calories at around 1 and it’s 8 pm and I am not even hungry. Granted, it was a small portioned pasta and meatball dish so I did get protein and carbs which likely kept me full, but I know that eating 300 calories is not nearly enough for my body, but I also feel like I could go without eating the rest of the day because my body isn’t telling me im hungry. Where is the limit where I should stop listening to my body? Should I eat just to reach the amount of calories my body needs or should I not just because I don’t feel hungry. This is very weird and unexpected for me because I am usually a huge binge eater, which is the reason I started trying to eat this way in the first place. Any advice ?
One big thing that I've learned is to match my protein intake to my weight that I want to maintain. So if I want to maintain my weight at 130lbs, I should have at least 120g-130g of protein a day. You want to make sure you aren't losing muscle mass. If you're less active, you could cut the protein to 60%-75% of your weight
That is me! I didn’t know that it’s just a healthy relationship with food, I’ve always had people try to shame me for not making food a bigger priority.
I see me!!!! My relationship with food changed, though, with my food allergy development. And listening to my body took a whole new meaning. ❤ it's always worth it, though. Feeling good and healthy is priceless.
me: i think my relationship with food is ok also me: genuinely starts paniking when she didnt finish her meal thinking about it i guess my way of dealing with my food trauma has been to regulate the amount of food i cook and serve, rather than actually deal with the issue i have - an inability to waste food
i have parents who always practically forced me to finish my plate as a toddler. (i am a pre-teen now) because of that, i feel the need to finish every plate and its hard for me to stop eating even when im full because i still have some food in front of me. it is getting better as i practice giving it to my brother, or my dad, or someone who will eat it because i hate wasting food. going to continue healing my relationship with food and ur channel is helping me. thank you.💗
You just made me realize how big of a deal it is that I've started to forget I have sweets. I had some double stuffed golden oreos that took a month to eat the pack, and I didn't hate myself for eating three or four occasionally.
This channel has given me such a better mindset regarding my food! Thank you!! Also, this is exactly how I eat, and it wasn't until I found this channel that I thought I had a bad relationship with food because I can never finish anything, and my sweet tooth comes and goes 🥰
I especially get that last one, as a diabetic I’ve been taught that I have to finish everything on my plate because I dosed for it (this is why I hate dosing before meals, but my blood sugar hates it when I dose after, it’s a cycle.) and I’m still trying to unlearn it!
Stale cookies are perfect for adding to puddings and trifles, and if it’s just for you it won’t matter that you took a bite haha (you can also make cookie croutons which are delicious on ice cream)
Waw I didn’t even notice that I had regained my healthy relationship with food till I watched this video … not only do I care less about the sweet stuff laying aroun in the kitchen but I forget I even had them … I made a cake and I swear last year Me would have finished that in one sitting it’s been in the fridge for 4 days and only ate 1/4 of it and I’m not even restricting I’m just not craving anything sweet .. I don’t even think about what I’ll eat anymore I’ll just go to the kitchen when it’s meal time and cook something … I also don’t care about finishing my plate or how much is in my plate I eat till I’m full and keep the rest for next day if there is any left … I never crave fast food nor do I visit my fridge 100 times a day to see what I can snack on … thank u god for this blessing and thank u for making this amazing video
Your definitely doing it right!!! As a teen you definitely are I grew up around a lot of sugar and tbh not enough vegetables and I love vegetables we barely bought some as a kid because my dad doesn’t like alot of vegetables and fruit(he grew up in a household where he wasn’t allowed to eat sugar) so it was always frustrating balance is perfect everyone needs balance
I feel real called out by the stale thing 😂 if it's not going to hurt me, I'm going to eat it. Your content is helping to give me some direction with addressing my food issues though
All of your stuff is relatable but this one hit hard. Now that I'm getting older my body is being less forgiving and the pain of my unhealthy relationship with food is blatant. It's a struggle every single day and any time there is any food in front of me. Even if I don't like it. Your content is so helpful. Thank you for choosing to post.
sometimes these videos point out things i struggle with but other times it shows things i’ve always been good at and it makes me happy theres even a small area where my relationship with food isnt dysfunctional
When I was younger at home their was an unwritten rule that there was no lunch it was only breakfast and dinner because lunch time was to close to dinner and so was breakfast apparently
I love people who have a good relationship with food it's sweet like instead of being obnoxious at times saying how it's bad they ignore the influencers and even without a sweet tooth the last part with the cookie really hit me hard
Tbh, I’m one of the few people i know irl and online who has a healthy relationship with food, is mentally okay, happy, and just wants to enjoy my childhood. I’m in seventh grade for your information. A lot of my classmates are the complete opposite and I’m concerned for how it’s so common at even our age. 😭 I know life hasn’t really gotten difficult and all that yet, but that’s precisely why i’m trying to keep myself this way and encourage my friends to take care of themselves too. 💗
I used to have such a hard time with food. Over the years it has gotten better, but I am nowhere fully healed yet. What I have got better at is saying no to offerings when I am full, not finishing a plate when I am full and saying no to treats that taste bad or stale just for the sake of eating something ✨.
I am that 😂 And is weird because growing up my mum was "forcing" me to eat a lot 🤦🏻♀️😂 Not physically forcing but she was: "food is ready", "come and est", "eat everything in your plate"..all the time..
I ate what I thought was a tiny breakfast this morning, but it turns out it was a decent protein meal. Skipped lunch, skipped snacks, skipped everything, and now I'm hungry for dinner
My life has been kind of a lot and physically, kids aren't in the cards. Maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to foster or adopt..... Things like this are why. Which sounds weird, but....I grew up in a really abusive household. And the thought of a kid whose been traumatized, whether by abuse or being removed from their home for other reasons or whatever, being in a loving environment where the "challenges" they have to deal with at home are finding crystal mushrooms or finding ways to communicate with their parental figures or getting into a battle of attrition over a porch goose are what I want. Life is hard enough outside the home, it doesn't have to be hard inside the home and I want to give that to kids. And I'm so, so grateful that if I ever do get to have kids someday, Gwenna, I've had you and Tori to help teach me how to be a good parent because mine were dogshit.
Exactlyyyyy, food does not have to be 'perfect'! You can eat a stale cookie sometimes, or finish a meal when you're actually already full.... It's called ⭐not overthinking it⭐
@@annasophia2005when I finish eating because I feel full, I'm far away from overthinking. And why on earth would I want to eat a stale cookie - apart from politeness, if 96 year old grandma Grace made them half a year ago and is waiting for my judgement?
@@annasophia2005So long as it's just stale, I agree about the cookie, but it's fine to save a meal for later. It's not like she tossed it in the trash. If you're full you should NOT continue eating. Being full is literally the body telling you to stop.
@@annasophia2005she’s not saying you have to she’s listening to her body say she’s full or say the cookie doesn’t taste good so why eat it??? Eating too much while you’re already full can make you feel shitty and why eat a cookie if it doesn’t taste good when there are other things out there to eat lol
I’m so thankful I was like this. I watch all these “what I eat in a day” videos and was forcing myself to eat as little as possible, I was basically on the brink of an ed until I found people who ate whatever food they wanted and weren’t so self conscious about their diet.
That being able to not constantly be thinking about food to the point of being able to forget about it (to get an idea where I'm at, my autocomplete first suggestion after "constantly" is "starving"). The ability to say no to food and leave food on your plate, even really yummy food, because you're full and not because you're desperately hungry but over your calories for the day.
Its the idea that we may not have access to the food later and we may really want it or maybe we just don’t want to lose out on the chance. What helped me is telling myself there will always be more cake, there will always be more red beans and rice, you don’t have to eat it all right now. If it really bothers you pack some up and save it for later. Often times I find that it sits in the fridge for a day or two before I feel like eating it so I realized it was me panicking thinking I needed to eat it RIGHT THEN. Food will be around, its okay to say no when you aren’t hungry! And to say yes when you get hungry!
It’s actually funny, I’m 29 and I used to be a normal eater when I lived at home with my parents. Maybe it was because the food just seemed to show up in the kitchen, my mom always grocery shopped on her own. I had preferences of course like a sunny side up egg with toast for breakfast over cereal which some of my siblings would have rather had etc. We always had a variety of healthy and unhealthy snacks and I would just go for whatever I was feeling. My mom got us into the habit of putting chips or whatever in a bowl and never eating out of the bag. But when I moved out and had to do my own shopping and realized I couldn’t shop to my preferences and then no one was there to tell me not to eat right from the chip bag etc. I kind of spiraled, especially since my job is 5pm to 11pm 😅 I would sleep in, eat brunch then make a quick dinner but then come home from work and stress binge before bed.
i was very lucky to have parents who fed me the right way and never complained about my weight and appearance, i love food and hate diets. I hope you will all find a way to reconcile with food and be able to enjoy it
Last year I was so addicted to food. I began healing my relationship with food and I don’t feel the need to eat everything on my plate or finish entire packets. I Can put the rest away with obsessing with what us left. It’s so relaxing not having that constant obsession.
I have been doing that with girl scout cookies. I found them this week after a couple of months and was just like... Maybe later lol. I just finished m&m from when I went to Ireland in August. I still eat all the yummy stuff it's just not as intense as it was.
Had a roommate like this and wooWEE did it make me feel bad about myself lol she never EVER thought about food and was so naturally little 😭😭 but when she ate she ate as much as i did!!! Just so frustrating. Thank u for these videos ❤️🩹
Before ed recovery I could have never imagined this, now this is how I eat and it's fantastic! 👐 No "willpower" or counting calories or "clean eating" required. I don't eat so much I feel sick anymore, and I don't constantly think about food.
I work with a mother and daughter. Both are slender enjoy sports, and I love watching them eat. They have such a comfortable level with food and exercise. I can’t imagine living like that. We went to lunch the other day and both of them had a 6 inch sandwich, shared a small chips, and drank water. Meanwhile I ate a 6 inch of a foot-long, lying about taking the other half home and a whole chip and drank a 20 ounce diet Pepsi…. Then hated myself for hours after I waited for them to go to a meeting while I shoved the entire rest of the sandwich in my face.
The reason I can do it is because for me foods were grouped into “always” and “sometimes” foods or alternatively “brain foods” and “body foods” and was taught that both were important to your health and happiness
I got there from eating because my emotions told me to. The key was listening to my body, understanding and internalising that food cannot fill the whole in my heart and a sliocht problem with object permanence.
Me with my husband. I just cannot comprehend how he stops with his plate full and says "I'm full" and just saves it for later. I'm equally so happy for him and so jealous
Omg the stale cookies. I cannot count the number of times I have choked down a sub-par dessert secretively in a dark kitchen just because I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to eat “bad food” while it was there. That paradigm shift has changed my life!
This makes me think I’m getting better with food I used the be the person who couldn’t stop obsessing over food for years! Now I’m the forgetful one who isn’t obsessive
I started a weight loss mediacation and turned to this! At first I was like "how can I possibly forget to eat?! How can I leave a part of a nice meal uneaten because I'm already full ?!?" And then I realized that I had turned to normal, and my previous behavior was abnormal.
all these people saying it’s a restrictive diet are trying to find something wrong with this video are missing the point. she’s saying she’s listening to her body. Her body doesn’t say she needs to eat the Oreo right now (like those of us with an addiction to the foods that make us feel “good” or are addicted to sugar) , that she’s can finish eating when she’s full and not feel the need to finish the plate, and that she can try a cookie and if she doesn’t like it not feel the need to binge on them anyways just because it’s sugar. Also the people commenting on her weight there are many people who are built extremely slender but healthy or have medical conditions that make them thin.
