Thank you to all the sweethearts who are welcoming me back, you are amazing and the reason I choose to overcome my distaste for RU-vid and start being here for you again :)
Glad to see you moving forward. Your body of RU-vid work was highly suggestive of your ability to become a first-rate intellectual/academic, and it's really cool to see you pursuing that. I wish you the very best.
So glad to see you back! Is there a chance this also means your website will be coming back? Even if you'd stopped sticking new articles up there a while back, it was a really useful source of information to counter unscientific claims.
Please go away again, because: a) You've discussed this topic ad nauseum already b) You either know surprisingly little about said topic, or are deliberately deceptive via omission, cherry picking & fact twisting c) You AMABs monopolise the discussion on the topic, check your privilege
I’ve been following your channel since 2010 and you were my North Star for so many philosophical and political issues, especially atheism. It’s so great to see you’re doing well! Take care, ZJ!
Just last year, I learned about a thing called Developmental Trauma Disorder, or under a competing name Childhood Complex PTSD. I don't know about you, but I found being able to put a name to this helped with that sense that my own brokeness had an identifiable cause. And, knowing that I can now legitimately challenge those who say "but all parents argue" with this response: "how many times a week is it O.K. for a child to go to bed with a knot in their stomach. Oh, and my brokeness in particular is an inability to form a normal pair bond, so no long-term relationships for me. Thank you for the backstory. And, I'm so glad to hear that your in a place where hopefully you're having a constructive and rewarding interaction with educators. Your mind deserves it. And, I've been thinking that for years.
I left high school in 11'th grade. (In Florida at the time, you could just take the GED preemptively and skip the rest of high school, and I hated it there, so I just got it over with.) Went to community college and state schools. Once you get your associate's degree, no one cares any more about high school. Sounds like an interesting career you've got coming up.
ZJ, I've been watching you since I was 12 and I'm 23 right now. I was a big fan of your channel when you did regular videos on atheism and LGBT because it helped me to sort out my own beliefs and identity.
Zinnia! I've been checking in monthly to see when you'd post again. Regardless of whether you stay or not, I'm happy to see you again and hear that you are well. I also had a rough start to life due to being raised in a regressive cult-like Catholic group and I feel like I'm doing everything that most people do in slow motion. It's frustrating sometimes but I'm glad I've dragged myself to where I am. Best of luck in your studies! Do you have an email address? I don't have social media (don't like it) but when I tried the email in your about section it said the website does not exist. If you don't want to give out an email address I understand. I would just love to pen-pal you.
Please help! I’ve been pouring through your videos for the first time ever (just discovered you) and your articulation is really great! You’re deep dives into journalism and transition sociology and transition medicine is so needed right now. I’ve been completely set on my heels by the attacks on trans people that is seemingly coming from every direction (left, right, and center). Your adherence to sound data, research, and science coupled with a compassionate voice is not only refreshing, it is frighteningly absent in today’s polarized and dismissive discourse. I hope you find your emotional footing and all the love and gratitude you deserve because WE NEED YOU!!
Great to have you back Zinnia! I followed you some 8+? years ago but deleted that account and lost ur channel. And I'm very bad at remembering names. But it finally came back and found you. Great videos in the past, I hope you'll keep sharing your sane remarks about the present-day world around us. It's a sure recipe for getting depressed, when one looks at what's happening, so I won't blame you if you changed the subject of your videos. I'm a 58 yo queer man, married for 20 years to an astonishing man from Louisiana, who moved here to Europe. As much as I like the USA, I wouldn't live there for any money in the world. As I didn't grow up there, the social injustice would break me to pieces. Not that we're free of that here but sill... I find this new video very courageous and I suppose it will be welcomed by many people. To me you're talking about a world I do not know first hand but human stories always touch me and people with your courage and determination can inspire everyone. Good luck with your studies and drop a video when you feel like! I think your family is lucky to have you! Mon
@@directingstaff8525 It was a rebuttal against people trying to stop transgender teens from deciding for themselves, if or when it is right to start taking hormones.
That's awesome, the prospect would have been frightening to me, but you did it! Definitely interested in hearing more about your college experience and whatever else you want to share!
I subscribed to you back in your Atheist activism days, and I still love you even though your platform has shifted to LGBT rather than religion. You're adorable and super smart. I feel like I gain brain cells by listening to you, unlike most RU-vid creators.
Congratulations for every success! I have loved you since I first heard you here at least 10 years ago. (I really thought you were 15)! You're one of the smartest people I've ever heard speak and I wish I had had any idea at all of the pain you went through - just because... Anyway, you are a valuable part of a lot of people's lives. Keep being true to you.
I do think it's important to keep perspective when going into college (even a community college). That's something I only managed to do in the last few years. I started hormones back in May, I'm working on a degree in Cyber Security with the goal of becoming a penetration tester, and hopefully I'm on track to have my life going in the right direction. I've even come out to instructors and fellow students and, to my surprise, managed to find them calling me by my prefered name and pronouns. No matter where or why you do start the journey of higher education, the experience of attending college will always be worth it (even if you don't manage to finish). From one trans female college student in her 30's to another, I hope you find what you're looking for and that you're happier as a result. With love Delilah
Hello. I used to watch your channel when you and I were 19. I was a Christian making youtube videos about my beliefs. Thanks to you and others, I turned out ok, instead of ultra conservative.
I've been aware of and had watched your channel for what I'm shocked to realise is a decade now, and it's kind of funny to see that somehow, even in very different lives and with very different viewpoints, we've followed a somewhat similar path from where I sit. This will be long winded, but I have a thesis chapter due for review this week that I'm procrastinating lol, so I beg you to bear with me as I ramble here as opposed to expounding more upon the intricacies of indexical use in natural and machine languages (read: blowing hot air for the sake of my advisors). Back when I first began watching your videos I would have been in about 9th or 10th grade I think, in a similarly dark situation as to what you describe and also with a dissociative disorder of some, at the time unknown, nature. Not to mention I was in some, perhaps similar to you, denial of how my feminine presentation and proclivities might reflect on my inner identity (mtf). That time really felt like a strange disconnect, before I was forced out of the closet around a year or two later, in no gentle manner I might add, and the long and fruitless fight for hrt began as a way to at least make the best of it (I'd originally planned to wait until 18 for informed consent, and ended up having to do so anyway, much to my misery and dismay with this healthcare system). Here I'd like to mention that, if not for creators like yourself and others influencing my viewpoint when I was younger, those years may have been the last for me, what with being stonewalled at every turn and utterly alone, so from a random stranger with perhaps some para-social relevance: thank you for that. Truly. Looking back, I'd struggled my entire life in school as well, always 'gifted' but never utilising it according to my teachers, with a long history of bullying and trauma to boot, so feeling a similar isolation to what you describe. I spent most of my highschool years, from what I remember, scraping by in grades with bare minimum effort, with just enough money to afford my drug and nicotine addictions while facing homelessness due to a rather at-the-time hysterical parent. Highschool to me now is still clouded in an anmesiac/dissociative haze beyond in the abstract, along with much of my younger years, but some part of me still remembers. I managed to get through highschool and into, what in the states you'd call, a community college for technical production of live theatre events (sound, lighting, set design, costumes etc., which is how I'd made my living in highschool), thinking that at the very least an empty shell could be involved in bringing the light and art of others into this 'reality', like a lens is what I thought of it at the time. No light to give of my own, but able to bring what others had into focus. Well, in the last semester of the diploma I landed myself in a mental ward (very long story), and that combined with the lack of drive and feeling disgust with the commercial nature of the theatre industry drove me out of that field. I got the diploma by the mercy of the instructors in light of the whole getting committed to a mental ward mid-semester thing, and because at that point I'd been accepted to university for the following year. They passed me in the final semester despite the lengthy absence and doing next to none of the work I should have done. From there, as I mentioned, I somehow got accepted into university despite my wildly varying grades (from 55 - 98 depending on interest in the subject) and began a BA in philosophy, just as a way to try and figure out something about this strange place I call my head, this strange experience we call life, and, perhaps with some inspiration from your videos and others of the vein, the vague feeling that academics could be a good thing to pursue considering my young proclivity for Aurelius and exposure to philosophical thinking at the time. The first year and a half or so left me a total nihilist, even moreso than before, even though I'd began and completed my social and most of my medical transition in college, there was still 'the nothing' to contend with. But past a point I ran into something the same as you seem to describe: I began to take some pride in my studies, I began to enjoy it even, and set myself on the track to a PhD and hopefully some day a professorship (with some small part of me wishing I could rub a Dr title into my middle-school principal's face for saying I'd never succeed in highschool). At time of writing I'm nearing the end of my masters degree and running into a similar issue as I did in college -- disillusionment with the field of 'academic philosophy' (so I'd warn you, grad school is nothing like undergrad, even if you're a good academic). But there is a parallel, being awful at or unsuited to public school is no indicator of how academia proper will be for a person, especially when mental illness plays a role. And in fact, it can be extremely beneficial if you find inspiration in an academic field. It's not just dry work to do as the reputation holds. Not a slog for the sake of a goal, a goal in and of itself. Like I mentioned, I don't really know why I'm sitting here writing this besides to procrastinate via a vague spark of inspiration, and now a few drinks in I have even less idea why I began, besides to say thank you in some small way, Zinnia, and for the sake of any who read this who may be interested in academia but who have struggled in public school, who have struggled through serious mental illness, or are LGBTetc. To you, my hypothetical reader: don't give up, cut into the wounds you most want to avoid and dig out the painful part as Zinnia says. You'll likely be better off for it, even if you just end up back in a similar place years later -- a new perspective via the passing of time can be invaluable, and the long term is really only made up of snippets of the short term, remember that if nothing else. And don't listen to people who know nothing about you. Everyone has at least a little flame in them; kindle that flame, protect it. Let the rest be damned. (sorry if this ends up a repost, first try didn't go through)
Congratulations Zinnia. Thanks for sharing this history and for your recent achievements in your college program. From the first time I began watching your videos, about 5 years ago, I had assumed that you had a firm academic background. I've known another person who was a HS dropout but all along I realized that occurred because this person's intellect was far ahead of the dumbed-down teaching methods. It is a shame that more of our public school systems can't meet such people's needs. Thanks for explaining some of the other factors that have inhibited your growth. I hope you see great successes in your current goal of being a statistician.
So happy you're doing well and pushing your life in a positive direction. I'm a long-time subscriber whom you've helped back when atheism was more your focus. Thanks for sharing your very personal story, and I'm glad to hear of the steps you've taken to increase the probability (see what I did there) of happiness in the future. Sincerely, all the best to you and your family.
Welcome back ZJ! I’m happy that you managed to evolve independently from the year you dropped out of high school and I hope you had a great 30th birthday! :)
So good to see you again, hope all's well! You're genderanalysis website was a great resource when I was first figuring out I'm an enby 3 years ago, thank you! I don't know how much you enjoy or how well you handle live chats, but given how much of an ardent & knowledgeable supporter you've been of the trans community I'd love to hear you discuss/defend some trans issue(s) in a live chat with Destiny or Vaush one day! I'm glad you're loving college, keep on keepin' on, all the best Zinnia:)
I'm glad to hear you are doing well. I must admit that I'm in a similar boat actually. I managed to barely complete high school despite the latent depression, but I only managed a few classes at my community college before I had the combination of my mom dying and coming out as trans without access to hormones or treatment, and the negative experience with high school was so traumatic I've been scared to go back. This video is reassuring, as I have been considering either going back to college or getting a job lately, which is how one can tell my life is in a much better place.
Holy crud, I used to watch your videos when I was In College(5 years ago), I was reminded of your existence when a right wing facebook group started attacking you and I was like wait is that zinnia jones, and lo and behold you are still making videos. Glad you are still hanging in there
He does say that all children should be forced onto puberty blockers until they can decide what gender they are. No wonder attacks came in his direction, he is a dangerous person.
@@directingstaff8525 my comment was less about what people were saying and more that Zinnia is still around. It was like a flash from the past kind of thing. That's all I was trying to bring up.
I'm so glad that you're back! I squealed with excitement when I saw that you had posted something. Congratulations on your new direction with your career. I hope that you enjoy statistics as much as I did.
Zinnia!!! I’m happy for you & so glad you’re having a healing and uplifting experience :’)) I was surprised to hear you says statistics but I can so see that & I’m excited for you!! Excited to see you as a statistician! hahah I’m 26, and I first found your channel when I was in my junior year in high school (having a tough time and very depressed).... and I connect with a lot of what you described here... both the negative (the guilt, shame, and family lording failures over you)... and the positive (having a shifted experience with returning to school later, with more maturity, support, purpose, and being able to come into a new stage of life!) As someone who’s appreciated your insights over the years, I’m really glad for you & wishing you all the best going forward ♥️
I am not surprised that you are doing so well in college. Statistics is a great choice. You can work with just about any research group if you are good at statistical analysis. It is a great way to an interesting career.
I hope your classes in Statics are going well, and I’m very happy you have support around you. I’ve got my best friend Pete to help support me, I’m going to tackle the giant that is getting my BS in Accounting. I get scared, especially since my family and I have grown apart… being Whole Food Plant Based, and trying to have a growth mindset contribute a little to that. I know this video is a year old, but I do hope that you’re doing well. I too have seen your videos since I was about the age of 16, and am 27 now. Being older and more mature, certainly has helped me feel like I have the capabilities to do much better in school. I’m redoing my GED, so that I may get accepted into the BS of Accounting. Wish me luck, and I will wish you luck on your journeys.
Welcome back. I am a little curious to know why you love statistics? I hate statistics, the main reason being is statistics can be interpreted so many ways. In other words, statistics are usually wrong, that's the first thing you learn in statistics class.
uhm, no... I don't know who would teach that class, but no... I really hate that bad reputation statistics gets. Interpretation of phenomena just relying on some statistical data can be wrong, sure. But that's not the flaw of statistics _per se_ . I mean, you recognized it yourself there, but still proceeded to say IT's usually wrong. I'll have an issue with that _usually_ too. Maybe if you count in politicians' misuse of it (deliberate or out of ignorance) but scientists generally know better. I loved it, anyway. Because it helps understand a lot of reality's variance (studied psychology). Curios to read Zinnia's reasons, too.
@@heckinbasedandinkpilledoct7459 keep thinking that. If you had ever actually taken statistics then you would know that is the first thing they teach you in class; statistics can be used to say anything.
I'm so glad to see you back and doing well! I'm close to thirty now and I'll be going back to school sometime next year. Hearing how positive its been for you is incredibly motivating.
Well, you can see the effect of all those medications. Sweet jesus, not even 30 yet. I remember that was a kind of a nerdy teenage boy, a decade ago, making atheist videos from his bedroom in his parents house.
Oh those depression descriptions are scary! Even to someone who's experiencing it! (I had my feelings cut as side-effect of (prescr.)drug that works for my chronic pain.) So glad it all ended on happier note. Best of luck for your future, whatever you decide to go for. Also, I'm somewhat of a more recent subscriber, never seemed to me like you didn't finish school... even higher education.
yayyy this video makes me so happy, go you zinnia, also having read some of your essays i'm not shocked in the least that you are killing it at college.
I know this video is quite old, and the majority of the recent comments are... vitriolic- but I wanted to say thank you for sharing your past. Around the same time I figured out who I was (13-14?) I got slapped with depression. This was a mix of a gender crisis and other undiagnosed conditions which made me struggle at school (ASD, ADHD). At first I kept going to school, every small conversation was difficult to even participate in, but one day I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't get out of bed. There was nothing. Waiting. I was dead and everybody thought that I was being lazy. There are entire years of my life where I felt as if the world was over; I would cry and I would hurt myself, but there was no feeling. Although I had dropped out of secondary school, I wanted to try college. (That's the UK kind of college, I think it would be the later half of high school for you.) Dropped out again. Spent a few months on a ward, absolutely not scarred by that experience at all no no! Tried an apprenticeship, failed again. I think I had about 11 months of some of my worst depression. Nothing will compare to the blood and frenzy of teenage depression but those 11 months were really bad. Didn't shower bad, couldn't leave my room to piss bad, didn't regularly order my meds bad, etc. The turning point here was drugs, y'know, I was prescribed a different antidepressant. I'm 20 at the time of writing, so I'm kind of describing the present now. Been on this antidepressant for a year now, got meds for my ADHD for about 6 (EDIT: forgot to say months. 6 months), and I'm literally bothering my doctor for my hormones right now because I just passed the bloods. I have been attending a college for about 6 months too, I think I'll actually finish this course. Plus you're right, being a kid forced through education by law is understandable but Holy Shit. College is so much fun because I chose to attend, learning is fun because I want to learn. Life is great when you want to live it. I hope you and your family are safe, may you be the world's best statistician.
I like you. Back in 2010, when I first ran into your videos, I thought you have a sharp view and an informative lookout on things. It was obvious to me that you are smart, and that the fact that you dropped out of school was the system's fault. I had the same problem, and I have a deep mistrust of the schooling system to this day. I heard from principles, teachers, psychologists and psychiatrist that I will amount to nothing. I hold a PhD, and I proved them wrong. So I have ADHD and had some fluid sexuality in my youth. It did not stop me, just made it harder. Go ahead and get yourself free of the stigma you got from past adults that had not enough compassion, and not enough understanding to help you in your hour of need.
The background story is tragic proof of what is going on in modern society. This poor boy felt he was failing at being a man when in fact there is no such thing. Instead of being reassured that he was a real man no matter what size he was or personality he had, he fell victim to the lie that he should subject himself to sterilisation, a lifetime of medicalization, and potentially castration. This is the fate many autistic or otherwise outcasted children are being pushed towards by this political agenda. Choose therapy, not mutilation.
Welcome back! We missed you in video form. Looking forward to seeing all the contributions you´ll be able to make with this new knowledge you acquiring.
