"Who I Am" - Jamestown Story (Official Music Video) 

Yeah, exactly, my family always yells at each other, I always have had horrible self-esteem, but the kids at school destroyed what little self-esteem I have, I'm only holding on because I know if I took my life it would destroy my girlfriend, but more and more every day I hope to fall asleep and never wake up.

@@ConnorSentByCyberlif3 I felt the same as you at your age. Everything was horrible. I’m 28 now and my life is great. I would be lying if I said I don’t still deal with mental illness, but my life is astronomically better. I highly suggest getting help and getting on antidepressants. I wouldn’t be here today without them. I’m still on them after 11 years. You gotta do what you gotta do. I hope you’re doing okay.

Feel this it is the reason y im thinking of moving out be on my own so i can think and restart my system before i totally shutdown

It always gets better. It’s tough to wait it out, I know. I hope you’re still doing better. :)

thank you very much for the support :)

❤

Thanks Alex!!

thank you so much for the support :)

I have an amazing life now at 28. A husband, a beautiful 2 year old, and a beautiful house. I still struggle with my demons every single day. Keep on fighting.

Keep your head up Danny!

thank you!

+Kevin Bakken you're an inspiration kevin! keep on fighting- you've got my support

and mine :)

Dyslexia

Exact same

Love the positive energy!

Hope you feel better pal - praying for you!

thank you for the support jane

working on it. thanks for listening!!

:). where are you from.

thank you!!

thanks for listening :)

***** as a matter of fact I myself learned to play this one. I love it. I learned a few of your songs.

If it wasn't for my girlfriend, I would have ended it all quite a while ago, she stopped me from ending it all...

With?

In general, the final act of a person committing suicide is as much of a choice as say... You getting hungry & eating. You can choose not to eat & they can choose to keep living but it gets pretty painful. This is an example of the mindset of a suicidal person: (Can't say all but it's at least one experience.) Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die. But which is faster? Which means less pain? With the kind of thinking that leads to suicide it's the apple every time. It doesn't matter at that point that they still have days left where they could be saved, it hadn't happened yet so why think it would? It's a chance to ease the pain they've endured for so long & they take it. Suicide is a symptom of a disease just like cancer is & honestly I'd rather have cancer. No one blames the patient for needing treatment or dying.

+Ray Gun "Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die." Without intending any personal offense to you, this analogy is broken. Of what will the otherwise healthy person wanting to commit suicide necessarily die if they don't kill themselves? Nothing. They won't necessarily die. To make it seem like their only choice is between two ways to die is a cop-out. There's a third option. *Fix it.* Don't just languish. Don't try and get someone else (a lover, a religious character, etc) to fix it for you. Those are just crutches that don't allow for real healing. They're just occupying space in the void that's supposed to be filled with love that you give yourself. So fix it yourself. That is the only lasting and harmonious solution, and the real answer is inside you and only you. The problem of a suicidal person is that they feel disempowered. They don't think they have the ability to solve their problem in life. The answer to the feeling of powerlessness is not giving-up. It's discovering your power, and that starts with the power of choice. And before anyone even starts-in trying to tell me how wrong I am and how I don't know what it is because I've never been there, yes I do and yes I have. You are hearing from a former victim of suicidality right this instant. I believed I wanted death for years of my life, but I chose to keep living and eventually I realized I didn't want death, I just wanted healing that I didn't believe was available to me. I wasn't "starving" for anything I couldn't give myself. So I chose, I lived and I healed, and so can anyone else. There's nothing that makes me special or different from anyone else in terms of that choice. The free will that I have is everyone else's too.

Thank you for not intending offense, I'm not intending it either. The analogy does hold up, the only food available is the poison apple and the person would starve to death. I was trying to express how at that point suicide is only a choice (to the suicidal person) insofar as the person in the analogy has a choice: how much pain they endure before they die. It's not about the fact they'll die otherwise, it's that it feels awful for whatever amount of time before they die. Perhaps a trapped animal gnawing off it's own leg to be free might have been a better analogy, it's instinctive to do whatever you can to make the pain stop, not a purposeful choice. I'm not saying no one does make the choice purposefully, some probably do, but mental illness, like depression, make it very easy to behave instinctively. I'm suicidal right now and depressed. I'm getting help but I can't express how difficult it is. You wanted healing, but I literally don't want anything anymore. Everything feels pointless and I'm only alive now to prevent hurting the people that love me. I don't choose to feel this way, in fact I've actively been trying to choose not to and have been doing so for the past almost-decade. I've literally been depressed and suicidal for half of my life. I'm extremely optimist but it's feeling a little ridiculous to keep hoping I can make anything better. It's not that I want to die either, I just have no fear of death and no will to live. I'd prefer just having never existed because even if I don't die by my own hand my death would still probably cause others' pain. I'm very glad you were able to heal and live. It's encouraging. I just wish I knew what to do when "fix it" doesn't work. I can't remember what "fixed" might even be, I was 10 when I first attempted because I thought the world would be better off without me. I didn't even know exactly what I was doing, just barely what death meant and how to use a knife. The first part hasn't really changed but now I know wayy too many ways a human can die and literally don't feel safe alone with myself sometimes. When I get low it's very hard to think about anything other than the pain and how to stop it. The most "choice" I get then is to tell myself I need to wait until "the perfect circumstances" which is specifically vague and unattainable. It only works because my worst fear is failure, since all I understand at that point is pain and fear. I also discovered that that worked accidentally and not at all to use it to keep myself alive. At some point I might be able to be happy it did/does. For now I don't live alone and I don't keep anything dangerous easy to get to.

I hope to god your ok. Im sorry noone noticed this.

Hope you've continued holding on, even though this was 4 years ago, have a good day! You are loved! No matter how much rejection we go through we have to keep holding on.

Said to hear that, but like Kevyn said you'll get through it. And it's good to take things day by day then, not think to far ahead and keep in mind what makes you happy though it can be hard to find sometimes. But you will make it out of the mess again.

Rough life here to man, all I can tell you is tomorrow always holds a chance for a better something. Don't follow the feelings, thoughts and emotions involved with these situations. Set goals, and go for those! That's all I got, I survived my attempt. I'm still broken, but you as a person decide what your escape is! Don't dwell on it, even though it is way easier for me to say, than for me to do.

Thank you so much amigo!

Thank you!

Jonathan Orange two years later I see your post and I pray you are still here bud. I know the feelings and I swear I'll be here if you still are I wanna help cuz I go thru the same shit let's band together brother! Maybe we can help each other?

right?

Omg, I never thought about it like that, but it fits so well! I only ever thought of it relating to suicide

Thank you for the support Rachel

Keep on fighting!

@@thejamestownstory I just came back again, i didn't notice that you reply on my comment! Anyways i still love this song!

Good!!!

That's so good!