Why a Therapist Won't See You Anymore 

Aww, baby's first clickbait! Im so proud I cant even be mad.

omg I about had a heart attack thinking you were gonna stop seeing us haha

My therapist kept seeing me even though I couldn't pay her because of insurance. I was is a really bad place and she is the only reason i made it through. ♥️

You know you have abandonment problems when the title of a video scares you to death. Jokes aside, I knew about some of these, didn't think progress and couples could make a difference.

Me: I have abandonment issues and- Therapist: sir, I can't see you anymore.

Oh my fucking lord Kati that title, I freaked out I thought you were ending your channel!! My heart dropped !

A lot of people with attachment issues just got real antsy at this title/thumbnail!

It was so difficult when my therapist let me go. She said that she feels she has done all she can and she encourages me to seek a new kind of therapy. I moved from regular talk therapy to DBT therapy. I got a more accurate diagnosis and treatment that I needed. It hurt like a break up.. however, I now understand why she let me go.

I had a therapist "dump me" as a teenager. It was very harmful to me because she just abruptly said "I don't think I can help you!" in a frustrated fit and that was it. She didn't have a proper conversation with me about it and encourage me to find a better fit. Because of the lack of explanation, I'm not 100% sure what her reasons were, but I'd guess lack of progress and maybe non-compliance (from her perspective only). She was the pushy type of therapist, and would even trigger panic attacks in session while trying to pressure me to do flooding by myself. I would explain to her so many times that that was too much, and her "homework" was superficial and made me feel worse. After a few months, I found a new therapist that is AMAZING!! If she suggests a solution to an issue I'm having, but it's absolutely not right for me, or I'm not ready to tackle it quite yet, I can tell her, and she says "ok." She doesn't get irritated or tell me to "just do it" like my old therapist. She's kind, patient, optimistic and flexible with her thinking. But anyhow, the reason why I'm telling my little story is to convey how important it is to clearly and kindly explain why you're stopping the treatment. If you end things in an unpleasant or emotional way, it leaves a terrible impact on the patient. I really hope most therapists are better than my old one.

My old therapist had to end therapy with me but didnt explain properly the reasons behind her doing so... it broke my heart and for a long time meant I was both unwilling and unable to trust another therapist. Thank you for this video Kati, as always incredibly helpful and really... just reassuring I guess. xx

i panicked for a moment kati o my lord

Another is that the therapist is not dealing with their feelings towards you...counter-transference. They may develop feelings of anger or fear or romantic love for the patient which gets in the way of treatment. It becomes unprofessional and unethical to continue and usually they will refer you to another therapist and will not tell you the reasons or fib about it.

As a respectful, appreciative patient it's so frustrating to have to start all over again. Especially if you pay, have basics anxiety (pandemic issues, grief, depression) and don't see a valid reason for being dismissed. It crushes us.

I got dumped by my therapist today. Out of the blue. No warning. I hit rockbottom and I guess I became too much for them. Triggering abandonment and Core wounds. I am too much for them and so they leave. Really inappropriate to do to someone who’s in a crisis.

GUYS THUMBS THIS UP SO KATI KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!

My therapist and dietician gave me a letter one day and said they were not seeing me anymore due to reasons 2 and 3. They knew I could not afford higher levels of care. It was so sudden, it sent me reeling way back into the eating disorder and I got so much worse. I’ve never felt so hurt and alone in my life. Don’t they have to give you a couple more sessions to terminate? From my perspective, this rule is not ethical at all. I went from seeing both my therapist and dietician each week to no support at all, which was harmful to me.

This actually just happened to me last week. My therapist that I've been seeing for almost a year decided that I would be better off seeing another therapist because we weren't making any progress anymore. I admit that it hurt me a lot to hear that and made me feel like I failed in someway. However I want to believe that this is what is best for me so I'm going to try to see where this leads.

When I get depressed I don't want to go anywhere so I miss my appointments. I stopped taking my medication because it's not working. I never follow through on anything. It's been a life long habit. I wish I knew how to change my behavior and attitude. When I get discouraged I shut down and it frustrates people including my therapist and Dr.

My therapist didn't end therapy but I was medically discharged from the military and she did research to find me a new one which was great!!!! Awesomeness all up in this video!!!! Love ya kati❤️

The most important thing is that the therapist clearly communicates the reason(s) for ending therapy. I had a therapist who 'surprised' me with not wanting to make new appointments and just vaguely recommended to consider inpatient treatment, handed me some leaflets and said goodbye ;). Not really helpful.

My heart fell at the title of this video. Trying to get back in to see a counsellor or therapist again after even 2 years break is hard for someone with bpd. I've been rejected twice from a popular place which is worldwide because they say they can't help and with someone who has borderline personality disorder really knocks me down further and makes me feel more useless than I already did. The stigma for people with bpd needs to change. I'm now studying psychology and counselling at university level. I'm hoping to learn and teach others. Xox

A change in health insurance can be a reason too! That's what happened to me :(

Panicked because I thought this meant Kati was leaving!

I have never felt as rejected and alone as when my therapist said she would have to refer me to someone else. It was heartbreaking, but we talked it through and realised what was going on and we're trying to move forward now.

loved this video☺️thanks Kati. thank you for everything you do for our community, we really do appreciate it x

I was just wondering about this earlier today! It's like you read my mind!

I read the video title and knew exactly what you meant but thought it was funny. **thumbs up**

This was so helpful! Thank you☺️

Your videos are so helpful! It makes me feel less anxious about my first every therapy appointment after a decade long break!

I have subscribed to you because you are so down to earth. You can see your honesty. The people that do get to see you are quite lucky. You make a difference. 🕊

You’re literally my favorite RU-vidr. I want to be a therapist someday, and you are my biggest inspiration. I hope someday I can be as awesome of a therapist as you, Kati. 💛

Kati I just want to say thank you for everything you do and for being you. Thank you for making videos and being simply amazing. Your videos help me more than you probably know. When I'm having a bad day your videos always help me so thank you. Lots of love❤❤❤❤

my very first therapist refused to see me after only two sessions because I didn't want to get on medication. The reason I was so against it is because she had only met me once before saying "Hey, you need meds" and it all felt too fast. Needless to say, that kinda made me not want to go back to therapy.

Thank you Kati. Your videos always have important information. 🌸

I really appreciate this list. I am always worried that I will let myself and my therapist down by not doing the homework. Now I have more of a reason to try hard to get better. I do not want to lose a good therapist or fall back into bad things. I really want to get better. It's really hard to try sometimes. This list will help motivate me to keep working hard. Thank you

um my heart dropped when i saw the title 😂😭😭 i love your content it helps me so much! please continue what you’re doing ❣️

"not doing homework" Awww! That puts a lot of pressure on someone, I assume if they are working 40+ hours or if they have severe depression or anxiety they get more leniency with this?

THE TITLE OMG! I thought you were leaving RU-vid Kati!!! I am glad it was NOT that video!!! This was a truly a great video Kati! So much good info!! Thank you!!!

kati, i seriously love you so much. your videos have helped me so much. i just want to give you a hug lol

My heart just about dropped when I saw the title of this video!!! But so glad you made a video about this, I'm currently afraid of IOP kicking me out because I just can't bring myself to open up. You videos are always so helpful!!!!!

Thank you. Your video made my day. You are the best ❤️

Great video. Very useful and concise.

thank you for this. I'm about to start therapy for the first time after getting referred by a doctor and this is really useful. so thanks!!

Put off watching this because I thought it's really gonna be the end and I didn't think I could handle it, yesterday being a bad day. Feel a bit better today so went on to watch this. So glad it wasn't a real farewell, phew. I never comment before but, Kati, your videos on depression and suicide prevention had been a great help for me this past year, having to deal with these issues on my own, without access to therapy or any support group. Please know I am truly grateful for everything that you have done through this channel.

I was sooo upset when my therapy finished I personally didn't feel like I was ready.. Turned out I needed higher care I have psychosis

I just got fired by my psych. I felt so rejected and confused. I am currently relapsing with Anorexia and my spiral is going very fast. So this is very comforting. Thank you for sharing.

Well, I'm glad you aren't stopping, I only just subscribed.

This information was very good to know. Thank you Kati

Thanks this eases a lot of worries for me. I'm glad you'll still see us though :)

That’s an awesome video. Thanks so much.

I'm really glad you did this video, my husband and are planning on going to marriage counseling in the new year, and I am also planning on doing individual therapy, and didn't think about the fact that I wouldn't be able to see the same therapist for both. I'll keep that in mind as we move forward, so we can figure out our best course of action.

I like your channel a lot. You ask and answer tough questions. Thanks for putting out good content on a format dominated by junk.

That title scared me. My heart jumped for a minute there. I literally dropped what I was doing when I looked at my phone haha. Now I have to watch the video over again because after I figured out there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't focus on what you were saying because my mind kept going to what the world would be like if you actually did ever stop this. Oh Kati...

Now, apart from abandonment problems ( which I know ALL too well) I just would like to say that therapists can be difficult and all too efficient themselves, ....in fact, even well-meaning, ready-to-oblige patients can be shocked sometimes, what degree of compliance therapists apparently expect.

The only experience I have with a therapist that stopped seeing me was when she left. She told it in my last session with her. Still kind of mad about that...

Thank you for sharing your Videos with us, it really helps

Well done Kati. I've had to terminate with a couple of clients over the years. It sucks, but unfortunately it's part of the process.

SUPER HELPFUL!!!

Think you for being YOU Katie

Thank you so much for this video!! It’s has helped me so much and has eased my anxiety about it!! 💜💜💜 quick question how do I better manage after effects of flashbacks? 💜💜💜

Can you make a video about reinforcement in therapy? My therapist is always talking about it. Like how me going to a residential level of care is reinforcing because I enjoy the support and safety. And how seeing me more often when I am doing poorly is reinforcing too.

i didnt know #6. im looking for individual therapy and couple therapy in the future. thank you for the heads up. I appreciate your videos and efforts. thank you :)

Some other reasons: if countertransference affects the treatment negatively; and if there is a dual relationship.

Interesting video Kati, and very important to have this discussion. We often look into why clients stop therapy but why a therapists stops therapy is interesting. I think ethics are a huge thing here, something I think a therapist knows that the most has been gotten from therapy and so it has to stop. Thanks so much for this!

I’ve had both good and bad therapists. Some are basically “ how does that mak you feel” ..but the good ones dig a bit, ask where you want to go and how you see that improving

I thought you were going to stop RU-vid and I was about to cry. Still a great video.

Great video (you spooked everyone with that title Kati) as usual!! Also, I think I would be really cool if you could do a video on something like finding your romantic/sexual identity and how that relates to finding a healthy relationship! Or something along the lines of how to be confident in your new identity etc. etc.

that's a relief. when i saw the title i thought you were leaving youtube

I'm glad I'm not the only subscriber that thought Ms. Kati was leaving RU-vid! :-) I was watching another channel I'm subscribed to but when the title of this video scrolled across my notification marquee I immediately stopped what I was doing, muted my TV, quieted my boyfriend, closed the currently playing video and opened this one. Definitely glad she isn't going anywhere!!! Aside from that: All 6 reasons for client discharge Kati listed seem to be broadly utilized as acceptable stipulations in a provider-patient terms of service agreement across the board not only in the mental health specialty but in every other facet of medicine, too, with the only exception being emergency departments (at least in the United States where anyone can go to the emergency department of any hospital in any location with confidence in knowing they will receive the best, most expedient care that specific emergency department is capable of provosing regardless of their emergency, ability to pay, citizenship status, background, mental health even if they're being detained by the police and are being evaluated for possible 51/50 involuntary hospitalization for dangerous behavior or for any other federally protected reason including, but not limited to; age, race, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexual orientation, religion and an endless list of other reasons).

You didn't mention the idea that client has gotten better and does not need you any more!

Love your videos! Im going through some shit atm, as is everyone and u really help, don't quite know how or why 😂 but you do👊💞

I thought you were gonna stop posting after I saw the title of this weekend. my heart dropped and I got so scared.

Freaked out at the title. Thought you were leaving YT and were going to stop making vids. Thank gosh you aren’t. Love your vids and this was a super informative video.

Thanks so much for making this video. My therapist has referred me out for DBT and I've been feeling really bummed and hurt about it. But I've realized it's because she cares enough about me to want me to get the right treatment, not because I've failed her or because she doesn't like me. I guess it'd be like seeing a dermatologist about your skin cancer - they're not equipped to deal with that and they're gonna have to send you to an oncologist, someone who specializes in cancer. It's not that you're untreatable or they don't like you, it's just that they aren't equipped to help you with that kind of problem.

Another great informative video! I do wonder though if some therapist use these reasons as a cop-out. They simply dont like you and use one of these reasons to get out of treating you.

Excellent video.

perfect time for this kind of video since I actually came to that point with my therapist the other week. She wants me to go back to inpatient treatment.. I don't want to.. so I basically have no treatment at all now.. and my ED is getting worse again from day to day.. but she also said I may have to hit rock bottom to realize how sick I really am.

I know many people have said this already. I had a mini-heart attack when I saw the title. Your videos have greatly helped me improve as a person and I would have been really sad if that was the case. Really informative video! To be honest, I did wonder at some point about these reasons. Love your work, Kati. Keep it up!

So relieved this is not a "Quitting RU-vid" video. YOU SCARED ME KATI!

Hey kati are you able to talk about situational depression and if you witness abuse/ domestic abuse? Thankyou for other videos😊💛

P.T. - Oh my Goodness! I thought the same thing! I even put off watching the video until I had taken my meds/vit.'s & had quiet time to watch it! WOW - would that be a classic ex. of "catastrophizing" and "dramatizing"? 2 (of many) skills I'm practicing, at the suggestion of my great psychiatrist. We love you Dr. Kati! (In a healthy boundary way). I guess there's no uncreepy way to say that after this video, but I believe y'all understand. Anyway, I have so many therapy stories. And questions. But hell, this ain't Sister Shannon's blogging hour and I've dman near written a novella as it is. God Bless all y'all. Never stop fighting your illness.

My therapist is great ❤️.

I remember when I was in Therapie in grade 6 or so, because my parents felt like I needed help with organisation and because I had some problems with social situations. After some time, I actually lied about all the organization things that they have gotten better... Maybe I felt forced to do these things and just didn't wanted to do them... But the therapist didn't care, or just didn't say anything about that again, even after talking with my parents. We were just focusing better on social things, where I myself wanted to get better, and there it really helped me, because I wanted a change.

Great to know!! Good way to get out of it.

Thanks for the video! What do you think about a therapist seeing two individuals and having occasional couple sessions with them to check in together?

Well, I’m wondering if there are good reasons to stop therapy yourself. I quit therapy about 9 months ago now, and i made things better on my own. When i was getting therapy, it was forced on me, and I’ve always hated it. I think i therapy could still help me, but with my past experiences i just feel like it won’t do any good for me. Anyway, before i go off rambling about everything, what are reasons to stop therapy yourself?

Love the video, but I also like the Patreon shoutout at the end. The little click noise is oddly satisfying and the animation is very slick.

Stopping by to say hello. I found you in the youtube magazine. Happy holidays!!

I would classify all of these as boundaries. In a therapy setting, boundaries are necessary in order for a safe and open space to exist. I have been in therapy for 15+ years. When I moved cross country, I went to the phycologist and psychiatrist (they were in the same clinic) recommended by my insurance. The therapist was warm, patient, looked thru the work I had been doing, and created a plan for us. Basically, it was a healthy system. The psychiatrist, however, made significant changes to my medication. He switched me from Seroquel to lithium. I was then prescribed both Xanax and Xanax xr apart the same time. He added an antidepressant. Then he added lamictal to balance the antidepressant. Then he added Risperdal. When my moods started swinging more, he added Depakote and increased my lithium. I ended up hospitalized for lithium poisoning and was triggered into a full manic episode with psychosis. The lithium poisoning wrecked my balance, which still hasn't completely recovered, and I have tinnitus. The manic episode pasted nearly two weeks. It was literally hell. When I got home from the hospital, I was served a letter from the psychiatrist and therapist saying I am not welcomed there anymore. I was then served a restraining warning from communicating or approaching them. I was barely able to walk, was in physical therapy, emotionally exhausted, and at a completely loss of what to do. Luckily, the physical therapist knew of a psychologist group with an excellent reputation, the only draw back was that their M.D.'s and therapists usually had lengthy wait times. I gave them a call and after they heard my predicament, got me in quickly. Needless to say, he took me off of nearly everything, rerouted to Seroquel, Lamictal, and a low dose of Xanax only for anxiety/panic attacks. He got me with a primary care doctor who began treating me blood pressure and blood sugar. The previous psychiatrist continually said that those were all in my head. My new therapist has been fantastic. I guess I am saying this because for all the good apples or there, sometimes you find a poisoned one. I didn't listen to my inner voice that he was not respecting boundaries. He didn't like when I questioned him. He didn't like when I told him about side effects. I paid the price. I still have flashbacks, but I can deal with them. I just wish I had walked away when those boundaries were first ignored.

Hey Kati, I've been in therapy almost 4 years, I'm thinking of taking a break for a bit but at the same time in terrified of taking a break because my counselor is the only one who I talk to about anything going on. Plus I'm not sure how to bring it up to my therapist. Any thoughts on this?

I like what you said in another video--a therapist is really only there to be an empathetic listener. They will not solve your problems, etc. even really make any reccomendations beyond basic feedback. Two that did were massively off base. I wish you guys would track progress more and keep us on track with our stated goals. Hardly any therapist I've had over 30 years off and on on different cities EVER wrote a treatment plan. Two Ivy League psychologists in there too.

Please could you make a video about arithmomania? A lot of people don't know about it and I would love for more people to be educated on it! Love you & your videos - thanks a lot xx

You are so pleasant to look at

Literally almost cried. Please don't leave youtube ever.

Glad I didn't die by the title gosh Kati you won scare of the year

I for one thought this will be a video about burning bridges with toxic people around.

The title made me so anxious omg

thx for this awesomely ha bisky vid these are things i never even thought about except for the not making progress

How to I handle when I cant See my counceler for weeks We did not Get time to plan A plan And I am not doing well and how do I Get over A slip up? Thanks

Hey Kati! Do you think you could make a video that talks about PTSD related to accidents? It seems like the vast majority of PTSD patients have experienced abuse or were in the military; however, I developed it after an ATV accident. -Thanks a bunch!