Why abstinence kills your dating life... || STEVE HARVEY 

That's very nice coming From a man.

Paul Hollesen Good for you

nice

Paul Hollesen, Me too, sex is beautiful and is shared with someone you love and not with someone you'll leave the next day.

I'm 26 and still a virgin. People give me crap for it but working without paying child support and having drama has allowed me to save up to buy a house. People act like abstinence is impossible and believe me I had plenty of opportunities in college. Congrats to anyone who is able to have the self control to wait until marriage.

Kira Lunar exactly because people will drop you because they want to be active and you don't, love or no. And you have to let them go but you must still be yourself. Don't wait too long to tell people anything important but I believe if she is Christian or so they would meet in church of God will connect the them

Up front is best. Men have a choice just like women and men should be ridiculed if they don't make the choice the woman believes is right.

ohhh, scatter they do...

Exactly!

Kira Lunar Yeap!!!!! The faster they run the quicker God can present who meant to stay 👌🏾👌🏾

Yes

I have done it for 64 yrs. , turned sex down several times now it doesn't matter anymore

What do you think of this pro-abstinence rap? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WcktBC3hr-g.html

Abstinence and celibacy are two different things. Abstinence is saving sex before marriage celibacy is no marriage, sex, kids ever

@@TVwriter23 Abstinence just means not having sex. A person who hopes to marry but is just not having sex is abstaining and is celibate. This is a choice that much be respected. Sex is not, as so often described, a "need." It is a desire.

Penny for your thoughts? Yeah but don't you feel like your wasting it i mean sex is an amzing thing and if u just wait for it and never find the right person then your missing out

Marriage is an outdated concept and is nothing more than a busniess proposition that benefits women. There is nothing in it for a man to be married to a woman.

The Science Fiction and HORROR AND FANTASY FAN. You can’t miss something you’ve never had. “You’re missing out” no she’s good lol let her be

Amen sister. I bet you look young. Don't worry about your age.

If you dont mind me asking are you a virgin? Or have decided now to wait for marriage after failed relationships? Just asking for insight not judging 😊

Well I never have sex without a condom I sing going raw until I'm married

And the reason it's on the rise is cause people are being dumb and not having their partner being tested.if your partner dont want to show the proof they're clean then they either dont know themselfs or hiding the fact😒

?? And people seem to conflate sex and abstinence, there’s a huge gap between wait till you are legally married to someone to have sex and literally having sec with everyone you meet.

have you heard the weirdest story about abstinence? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-sQv7194eYQw.html

Me too. No emotional scares. No broken relationships or regrets in my past. No time or money wasted. Great decision imo.

they are making fun of you because deepdown inside they wish they had waited. Good job family, don't fold to peer pressure. If sex was the glue to keeping relationships together, then no one would be breaking up if they were having sex together. Much respect to you fam for staying true to yourself.

I'm on my 2 year of being divorced and I have been abstinent from sex I don't even go on dates or talk to any females, this time I want to do things the right way I want to wait for the right one if she ever comes if not I don't mind staying single

When it comes down to it, it does matter what any human being thinks about you, it's totally ilrevelant. God is the only One who we should be worrying about.

Me too. God designs and plans everything beautifully.

Juanita Michelle you and me both 😂😂

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ybZ7MypGn8E.html Another Steve video if you looking to fight.

me too! hahaha...

Not really

Mika L lol thanks sis #facts

BlueRaven lol

Sadly... no... :( lol they still run :(

🤣🤣🤣 that’s why they leave so fast coz they know they cannot handle themselves around her 😆

Jewel For Jesus Same with me but I never know when to bring up the fact that im a 23 year old male virgin..Im always afraid that will scare her off and for some it has.

+mrosterbra then they're not the one. Your girl won't be "Willing" to wait. she will be waiting before u even meet

We were both in our twenties and had been dating off and on for a year or two and having sex during the "on" times. It was the seventies. She liked me a lot, maybe even "loved" me. She wanted to marry me. I was not so much on board with that at this young age. I had just graduated college, top in my class with an associates science degree in aviation technology, had my pilots license, and was on track to get a job with the airlines. Marriage and a kid, which is what she wanted, would have killed all that. If she had supported the direction I was going, I could see myself marrying her and having children later, but that's not what she was putting on the table. Well anyways, the story I wanted to share is this. We where sitting in her apartment one evening getting ready to watch a movie. It was cold outside and Christmas was just a few weeks away. She had very tastefully decorated her apartment and the only light in the place was coming from the tiny lights on the Christmas tree. A very romantic setting. As we where cuddling on the couch she told me that she wanted to stop having sex and that going forward we would be dating without sex. I was fine with it cause I really did like being around her sex or not. She looked shocked that I was okay with it and said out loud, "you didn't leave, you stayed". I guess she had expected me to get up right then and there and walk out. I told her that I enjoyed her company and that it didn't have to include having sex. A half out later to my surprise with her taking the initiative, we where having sex on the floor of her living room. Some of the best we have had up to this point and for some reason she was extra passionate that night.

Exactly!

Yeah, Steve’s advice here really seems to be emotional manipulation to me. Frankly, I think issues of things like “I’m waiting for marriage” or “I have a STI” or “I have a high body count” or anything like that should be laid out there early on so the other person can make an informed decision about moving forward or moving on before being at a point of letting emotions cloud their judgment. Yes, that’ll probably mean lots of “that’s not okay with me, good luck in your search for someone who will be okay with that.” But that’s fine. It helps filter out people who ultimately you wouldn’t truly have been compatible with.

@@theeliteelite1873 Oh please, men manipulate and control relationships all the time to have the upper hand.

@@theeliteelite1873 eh you seem to be voicing the other side, which is fine and should be heard. However, it takes time to get to know someone to even make a decision on if they want to pursue beyond talking. Meaning that if you’re someone who just makes decisions on relationships based purely upon whether they want to have sex, that’s on you and not on the other person. The abstinent person doesn’t owe that person anything until they decide if that person is important enough to have those conversations. Not all business is public. Even Sti’s. I think you should get to know the person first before making any decision on a future which goes for both parties involved, not just the one who wants to have sex.

@@kacatx91 Err, if you're dating, it's not about "making business public." You're dating. That puts you in a different category of intimacy. You're trying to see if you are compatible for a life together. Sharing morals is an important factor there. If you have one person who wants to wait for marriage for sex and the other person who has the view of "I'm not buying a car before taking it for a test drive" that should be made known to each other quickly so they can know not to waste time with each other. If you have views that are incompatible and are deal-breakers, that sort of stuff should be put out there very early on. Like if you have a devout Christian and a devout Muslim who go on a date together, something that fundamental to your life should be made known right away, so they both know they aren't compatible. What would be the point of going through several months of dating to just then make it known "oh hey I have these religious views that are extremely important to me and I can't be with someone who doesn't share them?" What a waste of time for both people.

good for you! Sex is not a necessity in a relationship outside of marriage

@ali govro don't tell them your bizness then. I don't believe that's true friendship either.

+ali govro Your friends should be encouraging you to do what's right for you and not make fun of you because of your choice. Stay strong and if not look for friends who will support you.

wael ffs ; wauw true & respect man !!

HARD ASF AND IM A FEMALE BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE😭🎯

Wow!!! That’s so mean of him! He was selfish narcissist

too bad that happened to you, but some men do care about women's feelings, just like some women do not care about men's feelings.And you would be surprised about how many men are either virgins or celibate. I have been celibate going on seven years now and I feel refreshed mentally and physically. And I agree with you, I let women know up front that I am waiting until marriage now.

@@koolsmoothfan Same with me

you are wrong not all man are like that, well I'm not like that, I was married and two years ago she decided to throw everything away it took me almost 2 years to heal so I decided to be celibate until I find the right one and I wouldn't mind waiting until the wedding night

beware👹he may stay, if u tell him, to try & change your mind but then ghost u if u don't have sex.

Hayley Doan thank you so much doll!

@@AskDQTV Hold up you are from the video-

Its not "manly". It's possessive.

you should be.

if that’s what you want then good for you :)

WOW❗

you should be

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

phantom2k10 that was nice man I enjoyed what you said and your right

word!

well said . People like you still exist. God bless you.

Connee M you 2 grace and peace

Stutters the Pimp absolutely bait and switch!

The "bait and switch" door swings both ways. A man can let her think he'll marry her if she goes to bed with him before marriage. Then he'll vanish. Make him wait, girl.

felt stupid for telling him im abstinent instead of stringing him along hoping he'd fall in love & stay. but couldn't. i want honesty. told him 1st date. he ghosted after 3mos.

How about being friends with one? What state are you in? 😇😎😉

so no late nights, sitting alone in cars or other private places, or doing any such thing that would compromise integrity and lower standards. Then you are not dating, you are friends. I don't fully agree. I can handle it.

You can take it even further by asking the Church for permission to have sex after marriage. Not that it’ll be an issue anyway Bc she’ll be getting it from Chad and Tyrone anyway

I’m not dating someone that I can’t spend time alone with. People take scriptures and make their own doctrines.

amen family

The Change Agreed. If she introduces it politely as her belief system to a man with a similar belief it should be fine. Convincing people to share her belief sounds difficult. Holding that information for months sounds disappointing. She nor he will be comfortable. Both will lose the time invested.

Why the Emmett till pic tho?

Same

Agree

When they mad at you, they will throw it in your face and make it seem like you're silly for holding out.

Raeleen Margo those type of men disgust me and have low values in themselves. If they seek love and self acceptance in their partner just based off of sex.

@@MsBadBody She shouldn't be with that type of guy in the first place. You can't put yourself in a a bad situation than complain & blame the other for you choosing to be in that bad situation. You have to date people who agree with you, relationship are not about fighting & disagreeing thats just a ghetto mess.

Been here to many times.. They end up hurt why you didn't tell them sooner.. The early the better

you better preach, lol, seriously, you are spitting facts.

That was the only part I didn’t agree with. Why would I allow someone to become attached and then say oh by the way you ain’t getting this……. It’s best to say so up front

I cannot tell you what a relief it is to hear someone say this out loud after so much noise in the opposite direction. This basic understanding is good for men and women. It’s a failure to accept the initial challenge (and benefits!)which screws everyone up so much until they are inventing all kinds of weird alternatives which don’t really match up with who they really are and what they really need as people who basically want to love and be loved fully. That last line … my God if you could just share that with the sisterhood today, it would heal so many hurts. People have become so understandably cynical about marriage and love but we have to wake up and realise that real love and the commitment is demands, is way more sexy than sex can be loving, on its own.

true! real men know: a woman they can trust is pure 🔥 gold. & that trust is the MVP (not her pus🙄).

kingtutakhamon I agree

Right

That's why men need to learn self discipline.

amazingyear thank you so much ❤️

Yeah I agree w/you. Furthermore Steve’s advice is terrible.

Kristy Smith what about men who have standards? Oh yeah that makes them sexist

Barbie it IS and the church should respect that Instead of Being closet feminists

With how many men have gone their own way, I wish her luck.

truth speaks thank you so much!

we need more of this nowadays

The right man won’t mind

​@@bunnym5617You think couples married for forty years still have sex? If yes, it's private. I stopped being interested in it in grade 12 - 2001.

Took the words out my mouth, it's like tricking the guy into it when he should want to do it, if not you guys shouldn't be together point blank period..

I couldn't agree more.

if the subject comes up then yes if not then no,because some guys will see that as a CHALLENGE TO BREAK YOU and to prove that you aren't so i agree with steve if you guys are getting to close or around the third date then go for it and tell him if he gets pissed off he was never the right guy anyway it's not tricking a guy if he can try and trick you into giving it up his intentions were never pure from the start...

I agree with your comment. Most people don't speak on their intentions early on and it can have bad consequences later on. However there are times where men will deceptively continue to date a woman without having sex with HER until she is ready, all while getting some getting his fun from someone else in the meantime.

GigaRex 201 If she’s not having sex with him why should she care if he gets that handled somewhere else? It’s not disrespectful to her. Why would someone want to control another person like that? Seems evil and selfish to me.

Didi victory I agree. Jesus told me to buy more vintage Mx motorcycles so I did

@@jamessharp9790 haha you're the best 😅🤣

Are you still a virgin??

I've decided to be celibate as a way to reconnect with God and be obedient to His word. Not a virgin.

Everything is about game fam that’s life!

Total respect for this point of view

Hana Bryant K don't even like steve like that but I think the point is to let your spirit define you, not your celibacy. It's like telling them that you're a virgin when they first meet you. They are going to be focused on that instead of just who you are as a person. Not every girl is worth the wait, either.

@@charnaeyoung9815 You missed the whole spiritual part which most often involves obedience to God's words AND YES every woman is worth the wait 🤦🏾‍♀️

Wini so a woman who has been run through more than the Holland tunnel is worth the wait ?

If somewhere in your mind you feel the need to precise that you’re not wrong for having sex before mariage , you’re for sure doubting yourself… the world is the world … people will still do whatever they want . And I , as a Christian I know that , and I also know Better , that God is capable of everything , even change someone way of thinking , of living . And I will always encourage another , talk about the way HE taught me about all these things . Sex is for marriage. God bless you ❤️

@@naledims9082 its a bit ridiculous that I even had to say that in the first place. But 2 years later i stand by what I said lol

trust me, there's more than one way to look at it ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-sQv7194eYQw.html

I have been celibate for 24 years in November. No interest in intercourse unless to have children because it can be another addiction and it is private in the long marriages I observed. The husband and the wife never talk about it like randy young people would.