Why are movie swords always wrong? (An armourers thoughts) 

Webb and Mitchell.

Something 9 of 10 movie goers wont notice anyway.

We need this in some movie

@@Sk0lzky It should have been in Robin Hood: Men it Tights.

@@kevinsullivan3448 or Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I wonder why that might be... 😃

@Kent Goertzen What the hell are you even trying to infer?

Swallows are known for carrying migrating coconuts.

@@lordwasabi6330 African or European swallows? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-liIlW-ovx0Y.html

Sometime knights don't even need an horse...but a pair of coconuts :)

They might... but then there's always some excuse as to why the helmet is either taken off, falls off, or ends up missing.

Yeah Henry V with Kenneth Branagh no helmet at all, as a royal noggin needs no protection.........too much BS I don´t watch reguardless of the explainations. Best example "The Last Kingdom" books great entertainment, the film puke! Lindey Beige took that series nicely apart. Not financing filmmakers rubbish.

Helmet off then I turn off movie.

They should ALL wear helmets all of the time, and keep their visors up with one hand. - Monty Python

@@Tiberiotertio Especially after he got shot with an arrow at 16 years of age.

GoT has a guy stabbing through plate, mail, and gambeson all the way through the torso. So two layers of plate, two layers of mail, and two layers of gambeson, plus the torso itself. These shows need to have a historian, and for the choreography there needs to be a HEMA instructor.

As a former weapon specialized stuntman, I would like to say there are a few reasons this commonly happens 1) Safety: You want the actor to perform the stunts, but he/she is not skilled enough. Hitting the armor is safe and there will be only a few people complaining, so why not. 2) Speed: The action has to be fast, but not really violent. I can write a choreography of one hero cutting through a dozen armored opponents, but it will be really bloody and I would need a lot of time to train the actor to actually do it. Cutting the chest or belly is the fastest and least bloody way of doing such a scene 3) Money: Most commonly, the budget cuts didn't allow more complex choreography to be in the scene. We were a rather cheap crew to film with, yet as far as I know, it can cost about 50 000 USD per day of training. With the payment like that for every day of choreography preparation, you don't wanna have too complex scenes. (PS: Feel free to ask me anything about stunts)

The worst part of historical movies is the forced diversity.

@@Tyrhor How were stunts filmed? Are they seperated from the normal movie stuff, like on special days, or do they directly follow the scene before, to avoid continuety mistakes? I want to become a director, and learn much stuff. Not that easy without the right connections, so I ask anyone everything, I could need to know, to form a project and coordinate a team.

@@robertslobson Oy he was born an Aussie

Ah, nostalgia :-)

There is NOTHING funny about a D4 when you step on it. Nerd caltrops.

Funny or Fuzzy dice?

Heh ... I saw "armed with just some NO2." and my first thought was "what does nitrous oxide do for you against orcs?"

And a can do attitude

The thing that bothers me most in when they get things wrong by overcomplicating things. In Vikings, for instance, saxon or frank soldiers are given some ridiculous armour that never existed in orther to make them look more uniformed than the vikings... Yeah, I undertans, making lots of long chainmail gambesons (the most acuratte type of armour for carolingian era soldiers) would be pretty expensive... BUT gambesons made of cloth would be much cheaper and historically accurate! Most foot soldiers who could not afford mail (or whoose lieges could not afford to equip them anyway) still would wear cloth gambesons. With cloth gambesons, helmets and shields you can equip a large group of soldiers and make them look a real medieval army. Add some officers or knigths with full mail armour, some mail coifs (you can buy them already made ones for just 40€ so you dont have your costume department saturated making mail) and you will get an uniformed regular army in no time... Also, when you need your soldiers to be gutted by vikings; it's much more realistic if they die easilly wearing ligth armour than if they are killed wearing full mail...or worse, full plate But no. They prefer to made up wacky armours that did not exist nor even look to work propperlly (I'm thinking thoose englishmen in Braveheart; with random pieces of square metal bits just stiched into their sleeves and trousers)

So...no First Knight? I'm not the sort to actually ruin my filmgoing by trying to find all the historical inaccuracies, but I _hated_ the stylized armor in that flick. It looked like they were wearing the medieval equivalent of bowling shirts.

​@@purpledave3271 yeah it's a shame cos it's an extremely good film in other ways. At least in that one the armour actually does something some of the time... doesn't just get chopped through like paper.

YES!

"With respect to the requirements of art, a probable impossibility is to be preferred to a thing improbable and yet possible." -Aristotle, Poetics Impossible: a 12th century soldier wearing armor that wasn't seen before the 14th century Improbable: a soldier weighing himself down with hundreds of pounds of plate mail that somehow still gets torn to shreds like it's tissue paper - they'd *probably* just go for maneuverability with the type of cloth gambesons Dhorn mentions, if their opponents' swords were so sharp (/magic)

Suck and such

Technically, you could hire the artist who owned the copyright to the descriptions and they would not have to provide you with the copyright they hold... itd need to be specified that they would use the copyright you want... so in effect, you're still buying the copyright..

@@Phenix19 An interesting proposition from Peter there ;)

You have to coat the blade with the blood of a maiden, that attracts the orcs.

To properly hunt Orcs, you need a machine gun. The reason is that they are too fast, too strong, so you need a high rate of fire - definitely no hunting rifles. OR you need even more phantasy - then you use a sword bigger than a human. I consulted with Professor Orc and he told me that their worst fear is to be rendered immobile by laughter, they really cannot control their views of the ridicule. And ridicule is abounding in all "medieval" enactments in movies and comics. Look at what happened to the Dragon when he looked at puny George 😉

King Elessar promised to get rid of the Orcs. Promises made, promises kept. You're welcome. Vote #Elessar2020

Wut weapon dammit???!!!

I have the same problem

Leather biker gear

Throughout history colours were expensive

@@alextusv That very much depends on the colour. Red wasn't terribly expensive, nor was yellow. You might spot the difference between a cheap red and an expensive one, but "colour" by itself wasn't expensive, only the ones that were difficult to make dyes and paints of. That's why purple was such a big deal. It's not like nature itself defaults to dirty beige, and whitewash for the houses was dirt cheap.

my local castle is red cause its made out of brick

@@yalewaller5721 which was cheap?

This. If I went Orc hunting I would take a jingeom. Not because it's especially good for orcs. Because it's the only sword I have some skill with.

So, a lightsaber?

@@purpledave3271 I you have one, then yes please, go Orc hunting. Just a suggestion, though, not Orcs with their own light-sabers. Be smart about this.

Coincidentally this is the same advice for people looking for the best gun for home defense

Still rather have a projectile or a reach weapon. Keep those things away from me.

Add heavy breathing and strikes too, just to add tension to it, hell, i know a good story for it too, give a bit more time, a script

@@osmacar5331 budget wise a short would be extremely doable and youtuable

Actually I remember seeing something like that in my early schoolyears: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-I0wPpCXG7b4.html Not much, but close to the point )

@@dennispetrov9628 that was great. If someone were to take that idea with a higher budget and better choreography, it would be amazing. Like something out of the videogame, 'Kingdom Come: Deliverance'

@@zerozeroone4424 yeah, and it would be even more amazing to watch in a VR-headset

Gladiator

Season 1 GoT shows armor is actually useful then by the end they make it paper armor.

To be fair, it's not really "balls" in those films, the entire identity of those characters *is* the costume.

I'd just like to point out that in Dredd, his mouth is visible which can still convey quite a bit of emotion

The produces in Dredd wanted some scenes where Dredd takes off his helmet, but because Karl Urban is a massive Dredd fanboy he refused.

- Realistically, a 7.62mm machine gun w/ 1200 rounds of NATO ball ammo! 😄 - Imaginarily, full gothic plate armor w/ sword and shield and I still got beaten by them even though they wore leather jerkins because all I could do is roll 1's! 🤦

Actually, I was the ork. And I was using a double sword and chain mail.

And that, I bet, is a major reason for silly and stupid errors, like giving all the British cavalry red trousers (rather than only the 11th Hussars) in the film Charge of The Light Brigade.

I have to disagree with your second point that films have a responsibility for the mass's knowledge of medieval history. You are absolutely right many people develop their pool of "knowledge" from said films, but that is their fault. Unless the movie claims to be educational, they bare no responsibility for the stupid decision of a person to take what they see as immediate truth.

Look at Kathleen Kennedy, she was kept as a producer because she made nice coffee. Moment she was in charge you could see ALL her terrible decisions.

I've worked on some horrific productions where you got (too many) producers putting their oar in purely for the sake of being seen to be "contributing".

People are stupid. A person /can/ be smart, insightful and curious about truth, but people, en masse, are tribal, entrenched in their own ignorance, and stupid.

Honestly the response you got is exactly what I think when someone starts nitpicking those things. Did the movie say it was historycally correct in every little aspect? No? Well then shup up and watch the movie.

@@THEPELADOMASTER Oh I totally get it NOW... But for someone who also repairs and restores ACTUAL antique locks, as well as just being a locksmith, as we tend to be compulsively detail orientated (watching a scene in a movie involving lock picking, with a locksmith, is like watching a horror film with a trauma medic, something glaringly wrong just takes us completely out of the scene...)... It was a totally different mindset then what I was used to.

@@derekbroestler7687 Don't you just stick a nail or a paper clip in the keyhole and jiggle? I'm pretty sure that technique beats every lock.

@@CrownRock1 you can actually jiggle a paperclip, but only if it's shaped right(like an actual picking rake), and even then not every lock can be raked open. edit: and you still need to tension the lock somehow

@@logicplague2077 well, I was just poking fun at movie style lock picking, but thanks I guess.

That decision was made by the feminist writers (who did their damnedist to fk the story over with their agenda)

@@AMetroid uwotm8? xD Have a cup of tea, calm down, regain sanity.

@@TF_Tony its true tho. It was something along the lines of scrotum armor to show their toxic masculinity or some shit. Fact is the armor looks retardet but the show itself was pretty cheesy and b movie like anyway....

@@allanredhill8682 Citation needed. Although that concept is pretty hilarious and completely justified, if true, unfortunately, I couldn't find any sources to back up that claim other than people spreading the rumor without any original sources.

@@allanredhill8682 Doubt. I don't think it was meant to actually resemble a scrotum btw, it's probably incidental that people took it that way. My first thought was that it was a cost saving measure for background characters, but that didn't turn out to be the case. Either way they'll probably use different armor for season 2. Don't read into it too much mate.

No it an't

I got more annoyed when poor down trotten peasants toiling in the mud are all immaculately clean.

@@TurinTuramber u got mud on ur face!!!!!u big disgrace!!

@@TurinTuramber Exactly! Especially when(in Britain at least) peasant folk had only two baths in their lives..one at birth and one at death...

@@olsim1730 this isn't true lol

Christoffer Bergström - I suspect that if riding you probably would hang the longsword somewhere on the horse’s harness anyway... trying to draw it from your side on horseback, you’d probably end up chopping the poor nag’s ears off.

In many ways, yes. However they suffer from the common mistake of armour being useless. I'm glad the main heroes only wore leather jerkins, because all the Gondorians who wore full plate still got killed effortlessly by crude arrows and slashing weapons.

@@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human this actually isn't that true. A lot of the time the orcs bash them over the heads and they fall down and arrows generally go through areas that are uncovered. Not always of course but there are many cases where this is true

@@Jhakaro I'm talking about the movies. In the books the Gondorian heavy infantry was very good, but in the films their armour was made of tissue paper. One (in the siege tower scene) gets killed by a slash across the chest that in real life would have just left a scratch on his chestplate.

Meanwhile, the director was rewriting Tolkien in his own image.

I LOSE MY MIND every time I see them do the "NIGHTTIME" scenes in films, but it's clearly daytime but they use a BLUE FILTER on the camera to make it appear it's moonlight. OOOOF!

Serious problems with this as a 3D designer. I would guess that such a thing comes down to budget.

Is there no way at all to adjust camera settings, use a different lens etc? Or is that a budget question rather then the equipment does not exist question? How the heck does documentaries get away with it when they do it accurately then?

@@HawkJedilord I think the primary problem is cost and often safety. If you want to film in the dark you have a limited time to film, you may have to pay people more, you will still need light but that is more difficult to get right and it might be dangerous for action scenes if the people performing can't see as well. also dark environments may just not give you a good picture in the end so you end up having it not be true night so the audience can see what is going on better.

@@thebaumfaeller1477 I see. Unfortunate and interesting at the same time. Safety first is a good thing though.

That and the fact that they used stuntmen whenever the face shield was down thus saving them money

@@willis32 Yes, that's the "and doing so let stunt doubles more easily take over the roles of an actors." part =) It never felt jarring though, it was very well done.

@@etelmo honestly most of the time it doesn't bother me. Unless you've got a bloke with a longsword charging a phalanx I can suspend my disbelief

Completely agree. Some of the best films have portions where they have the balls to have noone even talk for five or ten minutes, and a combat scene where you're locked into the combat with the main character could be fantastically done. No disrespect to Tod, but I felt like most of his points were like this. I don't want more conservative, mostly mediocre films (imo); I want something that really tries to do it perfectly. Like nail the narrative structure of it, alongside making it gritty, realistic and historically accurate. I've no doubt people can do that if they're just willing to bother and invest in the idea

"We will, we will ROCK YOU! We will, we will ROCK YOU!" What do you mean that wasn't the common peasant's cheer??

гыыыы

You sir made me laugh hard. Thank you very much. May you have a great day!

You have no idea how many people would watch that movie just for The Rock. And probably not even be disappointed.

@Colin Cleveland Corinthian Column: The Second Row ;)

I'm not sure The Rock has the acting chops to convincingly play a column.

Big oof

At least you ppl still have drive-ins. My country has zero such cinemas. So chances of going to a new movie would be like earliest next year. Might as well gather at the home of the guy with the best sound systems and biggest screen.

That would just be Ionic...

That would be a blockbuster hit film in the universe of "The Invention of Lying".

Can my daughter have that when you die?

Deploy the space Marines!

I prefer an Assault Cannon with Hellfire rounds.

For emperors sake! Just send in a squad of terminators with a librarian in charge. Job done.

Purge with holy fire Brother.

@@RevRaptor898 May Emperor always shines at your dice Brother.

Hong Kong style gunfight

Ahhh the 15 shot six shooter.

What do you mean? Surely running into the face of John Wick so he can close range shoot you is a legit strategy

I understand that movies are flexible on what weapons are used, but when they show Japanese soldiers in ww1 with Soviet Ppsh43 from ww2 1943.... that upsets me. When I see a 1400s European knight with a katana.... that upsets me.

@@brianspenst1374 You think that's bad? What about Arnold Schwarzenegger wielding a $@!#'ing minigun off of a mount? Now I know the man is stronger than some oxen, but an 85-86 pound minigun with about 60lbs of ammunition, this isn't even including a power source because miniguns are electrically powered? First of all, it doesn't matter how strong you are, miniguns' weight distribution is ridiculously barrel heavy to compensate recoil, because otherwise firing it for just a moment would send it flying off the mount. Second, you cannot be stronger than the explosions of 2,000-6,000 7.62NATO per minute. Arnie would have lost an arm after the gun launched itself out of his hands. Lastly, How TF was he so accurate? The dude was sniping people with a heavy machine gun meant for covering fire and forcing enemies to retreat, hide, or get turned into swiss cheese. It wasn't meant to be a weapon to hit someone over the horizon with. I will take a 15 shot revolver over a dude wielding a minigun on foot ANY DAY. At least in film, you could say he reloaded the revolver when the camera was focused on other entities. I mean speed loaders were a thing back then.

Remember Banderas in the Expendables? i was hollering on the floor^^

Mine too. I recently bought the DVD to add it to my collection. Great movie.

great movie but not especially known for its historical accuracy

@@tyrionas Well, since "the 13th warrior" is a fictional defictionalized "Beowulf" written by a historical character, they actually had a long road to walk with realism ;) Tod is triggered by the helmet... I'm triggered by the cavemen: there's so much wrong in them that I don't even know where to begin.

Perfect

part of the fun is spotting the inaccuracies though. Although it gets boring on very inaccurate films

Also, in the less realism oriented sword fights when the combatants are both really skilled and one loses his weapon he just beats the crap out of the other guy until he gets his weapon back. Why even have a weapon if you are apparently capable of killing an armed opponent with your fists better than with a sword.

Well, that's because if somebody gets hit with a sword they're killed instantly, right? They can't end the fights that quickly! :P

@@alkohnest because when you have empty hands you are better able to grapple/wrestle/maneuver by closing the distance if the enemy hasn't already foolishly gotten too close by being over confident. a weapon merely holds an opponent at distance. at some point if an enemy closes the distance beyond what your weapon is capable of functioning at then YOU are at a disadvantage unless you drop your weapon to free up that extra hand... OR pull out a hidden dagger/knife which is able to function in a far smaller space. CQB comes down to who has the better skill/will to want to live but hollywood always wants the hero to prevail so it's a false sense of reality in truth.

if they had those pointed boots it would make a load more sense tho

Dam, if only I brought a dagger too.

the worst ever, for me was that shithouse movie First Knight. they had stupid blue skivvies with little square plates stuck on them :D

First Knight was such crap on other levels that I don't even remember the armor :-) It's amazing how bad a movie can be despite a whole host of awesome actors.

Heard of "steel wool"? I don't see the problem... :)

That's a bad habit film picked up from theatre. Theatre costumes need to look good and convincing from 20 or 30 feet away. From that distance, painted string does look like mail.

And what annoys me is when people allways say chain mail.. Its called mail. Not chain mail.

Kind of puts Disney's iron grip into perspective. They can make the same Mickey Mouse in whatever medium they want.

Copyright is such crap. Artificial monopoly. Anti-competitive garbage. Might as well throw for profit motive out the window... hence why there's only a handful of major media and publishers per each nation. They end up monopolizing content.

@@jmitterii2 : I think (don't know) that he's probably over-playing the degree to which copyright influences weapons choices made my movie makers. The idea of intellectual property is one of the few things that actually puts money in a creative person's pocket. I'd say we need MORE stringent copyright law. What we HAVE is a system where if you're big enough and have enough lawyers, nothing is sacred, and anything you almost had a thought about is YOURS. But if you're some low-budget creative type, they'll steal your stuff and sue YOU!

Copyright was one of the key reasons the Klingons look so different in STD.

@@harrymills2770 - I think we can reduce copyright length to 45 years after initial publication, while providing more stringent protection until the copyright lapses. Especially for the smaller scale producers, who might not have a legal team ready to go at a moment's notice.

Holy cow, I just had surgery and shouldn’t be laughing so hard!

😅

David Hedges right, safety sure. Technical problems sure. Director/actor ego? Never, those idiots shouldn’t be paid a tenth of what they are.

Yeah those are the worst, like spins it doesn't add anything and everyone who has even spent a second thinking about how real life works hates them.

Films are not educational. They are entertainment. You guys clearly confusing Netflix with the documentary channel?

Yeah, that's what this video is about.

Yeah, the big example of this that comes to mind is the Laurence Olivier Henry V. Where it had the infamous scene of a knight needing a crane to mount a horse. I remember seeing that the historical consultant begged the Olivier not to include it because it's not remotely historical and looks absurd, but he did it anyway.

@@Radhaugo108 No shit, obviously a joke

@@Radhaugo108 r/woooosh

There can be only one.

There can be only one!

*Gathering intensifies*

Clearly a good choice!

I have some Cutlery made by David Bowie. Would that also work?

@@13tuyuti nah, thats for fae and spirits

Underrated thread, we should run all the way down the labyrinth with this one.

@@alexandernewman9735 I have a book full of Brian Froud (the concept artist behind the Dark Crystal and The Labyrinth) artwork!

I watched it all, and I still feel pretty pedantic. I buy the part about points on swords. But the rest of it... To me, it's all about the "feel" that the movie is going for. If it's a "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" style flick, then by all means let the swords "schwiiiinnngg" and have armor be worthless and let people somersault and dance around with their backs to the enemy and observe all the other tropes established for that genre. But if the movie tries tell me with a straight face that it represents a period, then I expect to be taken into that world. Surprise me. Wow me. Don't be afraid to educate me. Maybe I will even see something I haven't seen before. If some things don't look "cool" to modern sensibilities, but are clearly treated as such in 'verse, wouldn't that just be a way to further tell us that we're not in Kansas anymore? Cinematographers suddenly don't wanna take any excuse to play around with colors on film now? How did that happen? Surely the problem of differentiating the two sides was the same for the actual fighters back in the day (and a damn site more important)? What solutions did _they_ have to that problem? And what do I need to care if actors are expensive? Bits of ornaments and heraldry on people's gear wasn't uncommon at all, so why would a proper helmet automatically mean we can't tell A from B? How much of this move is going to be spent on the actual cavalry charge anyway? Aren't limits supposed to be overcome in interesting ways, not just ignored? (and does it make me a bad person if I didn't even notice that the color difference on fletching was supposed to be something systematic?) Why do the heroes need "swords with built in extra oomph" if they wouldn't have had that for the fighting style their gear is otherwise supposed to portray? Aren't limits supposed to be overcome in interesting ways, not just ignored? If scabbards created so many problems when running around, how was that dealt with by the actual people carrying them? If equipment is found to be so impractical to walk around in as to be hazardous, how was that dealt with by the people using that? Aren't limits supposed to be overcome in interesting ways, not just ignored? I guess what I'm saying is this: The "rule of cool" only works when "cool" isn't just "stupid". (Oh and btw... I think village blacksmiths would make wargear when the occasion called for it, at least if the mass grave on Gotland is to be believed)

The King on Netflix tried something different. Imo it worked a charm.

@@LucifersLandLord not amazing in terms of "trying something different" but certainly not close to the worst. As a movie it's phenomenal, but historically speaking it's definitely not amazing. It's like they just read some critical comments on a fantasy medieval youtube video and picked out the most prominent criticisms then made sure to give a quick nod to them. For example the duel near the beginning of the movie, where two stumbling knights slashed their swords at eachother for a bit was far from sensical, however they made sure they grappled and used daggers at the end. Armored opponents would be taken down using daggers in CQB. Other than that, there wasn't much to go on. The whole movie had a drab appearance, which while that is a result of the style they chose (and it worked great) it isn't really how you would want to go for a historical feeling movie. The Agincourt battle scene showed men at arms getting slaughtered by longbow arrows through plate armor. The whole battle was a giant pool of disorganized knights breaking off into one on one duels practically giving up on any sort of formation in the first second. Henry V's armor was very wonky and did not fit well. Henry V, the king, immediately ditched all his armor and more specifically his helmet and it all being conveniently explained away (like a king is going to rely solely on maille and a cuirass in the age of near full plate). Archers shot straight up in the air and rained their arrows on top of their enemies (which by all accounts did not happen). And the extras generally had really shitty armor. Basically most of the movie does fall victim to common medieval misconceptions and movie tropes. However, while there is alot to criticize historically about the movie, there is much to praise. It is certainly a very good movie, and it's historical shortcomings aren't overly prevalent enough to take away from the entertainment value. (Besides maybe the archer thing).

WH40k 5 Part series on youtube, Astartes, shows helmet work in cinematics.

well here is the thing, making movies costs serious money. Are you gonna risk that on something that might not work ? Or use the route you know does work ? Especially if the new route, even if it does work, might not make a huge difference. It is risk versus reward.

Have you watched The King on Netflix? I thought they had some great knights fights..

one that looks nice but isnt too expensive?

I just saw Roger. He went👉

And maybe a nice path down the middle

And maybe a herring to cut a tree

LMFAO!

Didn't he have a bunch of fights with katanas used to parry each other's blows? And isn't that very inaccurate in that they would shatter if used this way? I'm not an expert on this, but that is what I remember reading somewhere.

Correct

Katanas don't shatter under extreme stresses; if anything, they snap. And no, direct parries-which are more actions of necessity than the deflects typically used-won't themselves cause either of two katanas to snap. However rigidly we may think they're held (even in the most firm hands), the way one holds a sword at the hilt has a fair lot of give. On top of that, the sorts of high-carbon steel used in katana blades aren't entirely brittle enough for two swordsmen to clash with blade-breaking force at first collision. A well-prepared blade won't snap.

@@akafuguvids Isn't that accurate? Ideally you won't parry in that way, but if its what you have to do to not get iron in the face... you do it. If they hit like that you'll get a nick or a splinter, and maybe they will snap. It's not an instant snap when two swords touch though, otherwise they'd never have survived the age of shields.

This. It's showing respect to reality and having a movie be actually better than its CGI or flashy props.

@Thomas King A genuinely stupid comment. Why did you bother?

You know what he meant.

@Thomas King Sometimes it's just to get people with a stick up their ass to respond just as you did.

@@jguenther3049 IT WAS A JOKE WHOOSH

@Thomas King r/ woosh

I too recognized that element in his vernacular though english is my native language

"Inconsistencies tend to take you out of the moment." This seems like an over-generalization. Wasn't Tod clear that for 99% of the people who watch movies, it doesn't matter? Not that I specifically disagree with you; _Aliens_ drives me crazy to this day, but for most people, rectangular shield are just shields. The functional differences that irk you are somewhere between completely unknown and random trivia to most moviegoers.

@@AaronMcLin That can certainly be the case. But just to offer an example of particularly bad design: in the last Hobbit movie (ok, not exactly a historical story, but even so...) the dwarves' armour is so horrendously impractical that the actors had to take it off in order to do the fight scenes. To someone who never thought about armour design, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. They see a bunch of warriors in armour, and then they see these warriors taking off their armour before going to battle.

Your point reminds me of the "I swear by these swans" scene in Outlaw/King which had basically everyone (even the "experts") googling what the hell they just watched.

It's true, @@CosmicDuck494, that sometimes movies do a poor job of explaining character actions to the audience. It seems to me that if the armor doesn't work for the _actors_ then it would have been redesigned; so if we're seeing the warriors taking off their armor before going into battle, then the audience is meant to understand that the armor doesn't work for the _characters_ on-screen. The movie may have done a poor job of conveying that to the audience, but no-one's perfect.

Thank you, @@tods_workshop.

That's pretty cool. I would like to what you made

dunno about anyone else, but the most enjoyable thing about blood splatter in movies for me is how fake it is. Like in some Samurai movies, where off shot a head is cut off, and about forty gallons (US) of blood hits the wall. THAT is funny. Faces of Death style accuracy makes me ill. There is a move called Dead Alive from New Zealand. It was so over the top ridiculous it was the funniest zombie movie I'd ever seen until Dead and Breakfast. I was on a remote job somewhere in the 90's and saw a video for rent in a store that said "Dead Alive Productions" so I rented it without looking at the cover or the back. It was a series of snuff vignettes, of actual people being killed and/or eaten alive by animals. No. Just, no. I LIKE the fake stuff.

@@phillipsofthedriver I think it is Peter Jackson's first film. It is the one with the priest "kicking ass in the name of the lord" and with the dude who strapped the lawnmower to his chest to kill zombies, right?

@@phillipsofthedriver Check out Texas Chainsaw Massacre. My mother is like you, after 50 years in ER, she likes the fake stuff, and Texas Chainsaw had her howling in laughter.

I hate how everyone DIES INSTANTLY when shot anywhere on their body. Cripes. In my graphic novels, I mock everything and every one. EX: every time someone's head is chopped off or ripped off....i have their head on the ground, wondering why it takes over 3 minutes for them to die, and how awful it is just being that head on the ground, ha ha.

@@phillipsofthedriver You must like Kill Bill and Django Unchained.

They have a high reduction so blunt weapons are a good bet, but you are better off with heavy armour and a 2h tetsubou for the 2k3 damage, reduction ignore whilst keeping the knockdown chance. Bow build would be good with high reflexes, so your TN would be high but your DPR would be low due to the high reduction and low arrow damage, at least if the orcs wore armour. This could reduce your chance of getting tainted, but you might get one turn ko'd. Alternatively go magic, because magic is cheating.

I generally carry an AR-15. AR-10 if I'm expecting Uruk-hai.

I carry a monomolecular sword while riding my baneblade

I sell all of the weapons listed in this thread. I make out like a bandit, and avoid battlefields like the plague. Im an aging klutz!

Agreed. Plus, there is plenty potential to have very appealing visuals and atmosphere more more realistic elements.

As a re enactor one of my pet hates was ' ah but they didn't do that in (insert movie of choice)' . We spent so much time trying to teach people and that was what you got back 80% of the time, There were people who'd spent hundreds of pounds getting the right fittings and ornaments on their kit and get 'Saxon shields are square!'. On the point about the scabbard decoration, no most audience members won't be going ' oh flowers, I wonder what that means?' to use GOT as an example , there are people arguing ' Dany went mad because of Sansa/ Jon/Tyrion, that's why she burnt KL.' never mind the fact she's been lighting people up since she got the dragons . Seriously , they really aren't noticing a scabbard design, well apart from the re enactors/ history buffs who will move it frame by frame to see said design and call it out for being ten years to early or in the wrong country.

@@wulfheywood1321 Yes! This is a big point I think. The 'Average movie goer' treats what they see in the movie as historical fact. It may just be an inherent bias in humans to believe everything we see, but in any case that's where people get to. So actually, on the contrary, average people DO want to be informed of historically accurate things... and be entertained at the same time!

Yes indeed the the masses need to learn more...

I would also think these were not just excuses if bloody they were ubiquitous. They are not, so they are just excuses. For example, backscabbards are mentioned. BUT we often see side scabbards in productions. So the talk about backscabbards being about solving the "issue" of side scabbards becomes just a bloody excuse for the poor ability of those involved in the production.

I'd say your second point stands, but the Mandalorian can have protagonists with helmets on for extended periods of time because their actors/actresses aren't your A-list/blockbuster actors/actresses who make $10+ million each film they star in.

@@calebsmith7179 Pedro Pascal isn't famous enough?

@@IngenieurStudios Pedro Pascal is not that famous, and I'm saying that as someone who enjoys his acting. Last time I checked Pedro is making six figures in the shows he's been in and his net worth is two million dollars. Now compare that to someone like Robert Downey Jr. who on average makes $33 million a film and whose networth is $300 million. It speaks for itself.

Not to mention that this helmet design harkens back to Boba Fett whose face is never seen in the original trilogy so we have an iconic character that has popularized the notion of a helmeted protagonist with an obscured face. The design is probably well-known enough that the audience can accept it as a substitute face for a while.

@@calebsmith7179 Lmao where the fuck did you get his net worth is only $2 million. The low end of estimates are at $30 million, and the highest at nearly $50m. Come on now, get the fuck out of here with throwing out false information.

@@parad0xheart They should be more responsible though. Like it or not, people use movies to educate themselves, even if unintentionally.

@@parad0xheart Popular culture used to get away with anything easily for ages, because only isolated individuals among the audience recognized particular flaws. These days one person recognizes a sci-fi engine room as the brewery it is and the wole internet can be made aware overnight. I think this does call for a change of approach on the filmmakers' part.

Lutz der Lurch Like Errol Flynn?

I was disappointed to not see the Boltons in mostly pink clothes in GoT. There's Ramsay's flayed.man armour. It would be expensive and time consuming, but really badass.

plus the perception at the time, and thus the expectation of the onlookers, could be drastically different. Showing off how filthy rich you are by having all sorts of exquisite jewellery on you scabbard could have been ultra-manly.

Thanks and welcome

Many cathedrals, too, were wildly colored and painted before many of the "puritan" style movements in later centuries. It's such a funny thing we're missing out on. :)

@@LayneBenofsky Visit Stirling Castle and see the restored Stirling heads for a great example.

The ancient Greek iconic white marble buildings. Not so much. Scientific analysis has recently discovered microscopic paint samples in the stone. They were wildly colored in primary colors. So were the clothing worn by the Greeks. No white togas at all.

Grahame Nicholson - Yep, the Elgin Marbles. All technicolor. We did see a glimpse of the colour of the Ancient World in that excellent TV series Rome, but such treats are rare.

@Sir Rather Splendid... & unfortunately the reason that AWESOME Show was cut back by 2 or 3 seasons short as it was originally intended to run for by Hirst ( I think 🤔 it was Hirst? maybe not ) Is because it had already had gone WAY over Budget by Millions unfortunately! It's sucks we live in this“NOT interest in History” Century!

I get the reasons but I also think that the reasons are stupid. Now if the companies wants to pander to the idiots, sure. But I can also be as aloud and noisy as the masses and try to force the company to pander to my taste.

@@anthonybanderas9930 your right anthony the reasons are stupid and this guy should take a look at the short film knight of hope.

No helmet is not the problem, rushing in first is, it's complex and lethal team work.

Love that movie...and to go with the video, the armor is way more advanced for the period it is supposed to be in....but it looks so flipping cool....I am happy they made the choices they did for that movie. The armor and weapons and fight scenes are amazing.

the costumes where aluminium , Adam Savage did a 7 part series where Terry English makes him armour and Excalibur is referenced a lot (he made all the armour). It's well worth the watch

One of the worst parts of that movie was watching then grind down a Germanic pattern spatha into a vaguely scimitar looking...thing.

Hence the 17th century breastplate on one Viking sharing a screen with the Roman gladiator's helmet worn by another one.

13th Warrior is a beautiful movie and one of my favorites!

That is a pretty knife, when you die, can I give it to my daughter ?

The movie is great, the swords and outfits more than terrible. Vikings didn't have double handed swords. The swords didn't weigh over 1kg at the heaviest. So it could've never been too heavy for the little Arab. Vikings didn't wear hides and leather vambraces. A viking wore leg windings for example, which could be quite colourful. Even pink or lilac. Moviemakers have the duty to educate their audience. The real outfits are not more expensive than the crap they are wearing instead. So that can't be an argument.

To distinguish a character you can give him a distinguish helmet or shield so that can be easy solved and yes this did happen in combat that William the conqueror removed his helmet to show he was still alive .

The only caveat is when the character is completely distinguishable even when wearing a helmet. You are never going to not know which Avenger Tony Stark is... Or which character is Darth Vader. The trick is to associate the character with the helmet on before we learn who the actor is. Then when we see the distinctive helmet we know who is wearing it. But then they would just get the helmets wrong every time.

Very good point. People in theaters don't "yearn" for it because nobody even tries. They come up with an excuse and stick to it. And it's really sad when the event itself is already amazing in the first place.

Reminds me of CSI Cyber. They tried to dumb it down for the masses... In the end, it was a show "too complex" for the masses and "stupid, nothing makes sense" for people who actually knew about stuff.

​@skywyze I can't speakwith authority on the matter, and I deliberately only pointed to the depiction of the black hole as an example, since I've seen other sources refer to it as more accurate to science than anything else seen on film. Hence the phrase "taking (...) into consideration". Wether it's accurate or not isn't for me to descide.

@@migueeeelet An uncanny valley of accuracy if you will. I think there are few things that take me out of the experience of watching a movie than realising that the moviemakers think their audience is dumb.

@@rockyblacksmith Entertainment should be made to be entertaining, but not stupid. You can simplify and streamline, but don't overdo it. It'd be like if Burger King suddenly called it's salads "gourmet" or some sophisticated shit.

not the greatest for playing soccer though hey! lol.

Naturally you're at the center since everybody else forms a wide ring around you as they try to avoid getting stabbed in the shins.

Awesome for kicking people in the rear too, punches right through the pants and into the flesh for a painful wound.

How are they for driving?

​@@ironpirate8 I had to get my car refitted a bit, but they're workable. just have to be careful getting out.

Funnily enough, i dont think that the books describe any form of body armour other than mail. So the movies are, in a certain sense historically inaccurate.

@UCuis6c20HsKgWdIwdMbGmJg platemail is not specifically mentioned, however, plate helmets are so it's really not too much of a stretch. ornate helmets are a big deal through all ages in middle earth.

The books are better! Sorry, had to be that person... though considering Tolkien's probably my favorite author and his works, my most cherished!

@@fireteammichael1777, books are almost always better because the films/tv shows will rarely, if ever, meet the expectations of our imaginations.

Swords and non-plate were good. But stuff like the gondor armour suffers from a lot of the same fantasy design issues as most fantasy plate does. Breastplates go way too low, the shoulders articulate way too loosely, the weird articulated tassets, total lack of throat or lower limb protection, etc.

🤣

Do you use buckshot or slugs?

Obviously a European Troll, real Americans hunt Orc’s with those murder machines, those AR-15’s (that stands for Assault Rifle Weapon and 15 bullets a second that the hi capacity clip can spit out from the drum, BTW). 😈

@@kristinfrostlazerbeams light sabers.

Or you hunt everything with a sawed off shotgun, Doomguy approved.

Given the rapid increase of Identity Politics cutting a swath through popular culture with gender swapping and color washing of a hero/main characters the norm these days we can expect a proliferation of purple flowered scabbards in historical stories. Soon we will be told half the greatest heroes of history were gay; no matter how inaccurate to actual history.

@@damo5701 uh. Bub. You've got the wrong idea. Purple scabbards with flower inlays would have been showing off. Something for a ladies man to carry. Or a man's man. Because... frankly there wasn't any give a darn about anything we would consider LGBTQ till the 16th century. Heck. The Roman Catholic church used to do "brotherhood" and "sisterhood" unions, ie gay marriage. Seriously. Its a modern disfunction to care at all.

@@jimandaubz No you have misunderstood my post. I am aware of the significance of the flowers on scabbards in history and that it wasn't gay. The OP mentioned today it may be considered gay by some in the population. Given the propensity to write so called "minorities" into everything even when historically incorrect then expect more flowers as this is considered gay by people today; it would be signaling homosexuality to people today; not that it did in history.

Purple is one of the most expensive colour in medieval the sad thing is today It's considered as gay or widow

Movies can break social constructs just as easily as they create them.

Sounds to me like the idea of a dumb director or producer that they had to go with.. The hairs on that show make it unbearable for me, models today don't walk around with hair that pretty and well done, how is this pretty boy in the late migration era pulling that off ? Cut it short or at least make it look bad, it's not like they had shampoo back then ffs.

@@7643764 They had various kinds of soap, and they definitely did wash their hair and comb/brush it.

@@Aconitum_napellus Not enough to look like his hair. Models today don't have hair like that on a daily basis. That's just got out of expensive salon level hair. The character travels for a week on horseback and has impeccable hair, this is migration era europe, they weren't bathing everyday either. It's just too jarring for me..

@@7643764 so you don't like all the long hairs in modern military movies either?

@@baysword It depends on the movie and how it looks. Another thing that annoys me is loose long hair combat, It's one of the worst things you could possibly do, it gets in the way of your vision and doesn't provide any benefit. Tie it up ffs, you're going into combat, you want things as optimal as you can get, looking cool is not relevant when it could cost your life.