Why Child Stars Have Chronic Illness and Mental Health Issues | Dear Hollywood Episode 7 

Hi, everyone. Many comments have brought important information to my awareness about the sponsorship. I will speak further to this at the front of next episode, but I want to share a few things right away: First, I instantly looked into it, and appreciate you bringing up the concerns. Second, given this podcast is my life’s work and the material has been vetted by therapists/experts for over a year prior to release, it is stressful to consider that anything might undermine the credibility and I’m committed to resolving this. I deeply value the conversations this is opening. And I’m eager to share more soon. In the meantime, please let me know your thoughts on the full episode. See you next week for more!

Alyson, I know your heart is in the right place, but you should be weary of accepting BetterHelp as a sponsor. A lot of unethical and scammy activity has been associated with that brand.

“Who are you if you’re average?” hits SO hard.

As a kid, I adored Aly. Now as an adult, who has a passion for psychology, I appreciate Aly.

Hi Alyson, I'm so grateful that you had a positive experience with Better Help, but I'm disappointed to hear you supporting them today after lawsuits, privacy issues, and multiple allegations of unethical and incompetent therapy on their platform. It seems like Better Help's inconsistent at best, harmful at worst approach to therapy would be incongruent with the messages of Dear Hollywood.

1) I'm crying because I'm 40, have been in burnout for 5 years now, have no money for therapy and just completely identified with the child star lifestyle without being a child star. I was expected to excel and succeed, period. There are huge chunks of my childhood I don't remember. This helps so much because I'm still so arrested and I couldn't figure out why. It's like getting lost pieces of the puzzle finally. 2) I haven't liked child entertainment ever. I was 20 when you all were Disney sweethearts and I knew it was weird. When Stranger Things came out and those kids skyrocketed, all I could think was "I hope someone is keeping them safe. I hope someone is keeping them safe." 3) After hearing all this, all I can think of is Britney Spears and her IG posts right now. Her development is so arrested because of her monster reps and father, that all I can do is watch her IG videos and think that I'm glad she has this freedom but it's all evidence of a lot of complicated psychological trauma.

Alyson..please do more research on Better Help. It's not as great as you think and they've had a huge issue with selling information among other sketchy things. Update: I just saw you responded to someone else and that you are looking into it. Thanks.

ooh gurl not better help

I was not a child actor but I was a high performing kid in a small town. I didn’t know how healing this series would be 🙏🏾 Also I have had the ick about watching entertainment w kids in it for a long time.

From my own experience; To anyone who's ever been a victim of bullying / hate / violence because of their appearance, gender, orientation, race : DO NOT ever let a hateful notion 'there's something wrong with me' sink in. Trust me, it's a recipe for self hatred, I've wasted half my life feeling it. When we suffer and we need a break, it's only natural to think: 'maybe if I wasn't 'different', if I was 'normal' I would be accepted. No, haters will always find something else to pray upon. I've always had kinda androgynous look, which was a fuel for bullies when I was growing up. I embraced it, used it to my advantage in my acting / modeling career, I was almost the face of Leon in these new Resident Evil games :) Remember; There's never anything wrong with you. Beware of extremely toxic people around you who can see your potential and value but will keep and drag you down with intent and hideus determination, when they notice a slightest sign of insecurity.

I would love to see a podcast between Jeanette McCurdy and yourself.

I’m not a former child actor, but I’m an adult who was a “high performing child” in school growing up in a very chaotic household and woooof… this all resonates with me so much. I always joke that I can’t remember high school AT ALL, which I’m realizing isn’t funny. Also- diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year after YEARS of pain without answers. And there’s still no treatment plan

No pressure, but I think the world would benefit from a full meditate with Alyson series. I’ve been skeptical about meditation or other such mindfulness activities, but doing that (healthy) body check-in at the beginning felt so liberating. I’m saving and downloading this video so I can rewatch the beginning as often as possible. Also, as always, so well thought-out and articulated. You’re a treasure, Alyson, and I’m learning more and more with each episode. Thank you for this series.

I'm a late diagnosed autistic and this pretty much details what neurotypical society is like for autistic people. I had to pause because 8/10 points exactly described my life just in a different setting. Constantly changing jobs leading to constant change in social hierarchy etc leading to lack of safety and cennection = autistic persons experience with how every social situation is different with different rules and norms and opinions where we dont know whats happening. High performer who is praised for how special they are from a young age and doesn't know who they are if they do something ordinary like get a bad grade? Yup! Being told repeatedly that our discomfort doesnt matter and to just push it down? Yup! "If you cant hug youll never be able to be in a relationship", "its not that loud stop exaggerating", etc etc etc etc etc! The ableism is neverending. And so on and so forth... Having it put in a different context relly helped break through the denial of how bad it was. Being able to hear these scenarios and think "of course that would be harmful" as im realising thats what regular society did to me as an autistic person was a really healing way to affirm myself. I had to pause and just breath through all the unprocessed emotions that surfaced several times. There's a lot of prejudice and misinformation about autism especially in women. Doctors didn't properly realise we exist until 2010 and ever since society is playing catch up. So look out for prejudice and your own preconceived notions.

not betterhelp!! Please look into the company before taking another sponsorship.

As I get older I've progressively gotten more uncomfortable watching child actors, noticing certain situations even scripted into the show/film/situation to be inappropriate but after starting this I really avoid things with child acting, it feels wrong to support and my mind goes to what they could be experiencing. I find it especially hard watching some classic films and seeing actors we now know have experienced dreadful things probably whilst filming that, such as with Corey Feldman. P.s. I find Alysons words to be so therapeutic whilst I am going through my own journey with trauma and I cant thank her enough ❤

Better help has a history of data mining with meta and other big name corporations! Even though theyll tell you point blank that they dont, theres a few settlements you can find online proving they have and do.

I love this podcast, and i have so much respect for you Alyson, but please research betterhelp before taking another sponsorship from them 🤞

I am so glad you finished with that question! Because yes, watching ANYTHING with a child in it now I have all of these concerns. Before watching your series, I was curious about some of these things. Like does a young child really understand that it is all pretend? But watching your series has shed so much light onto all of this and more. The traumatic stories of child stars growing up make so much more sense now. As you talk, particular famous people pop into my head. I believe I am and have been an empathetic person, but I am gaining such a deeper understanding of them and myself. This is truly a powerful series you have created and I am here for the whole thing.

"THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST 👀👀" Caught that. Haha

“Yes this white pasty kid at the NAACP awards.” Lmao Alyson the black community will always hold you near and dear to our hearts bc of that Missy video. Especially black millennials, like myself, who saw you in all of your Disney projects growing up. Thank you for this podcast.

Ever since I started watching your docu-series on RU-vid, I noticed in the last movie/TV show I watched, when the child actor came on screen I instantly paused and asked myself: Do they have a supportive family? How often are they working? Are they able to still go to school? What is in their contract? Do they have access to their funds when they turn 18? Are they alone with casting directors or are their parents around? All because of YOU, Allison!!! I’ve been able to put these thoughts into perspective. I really appreciate how vulnerable you are telling your story. I think this will help us become advocates of the future children have in Hollywood. But this makes me wonder, is this more Indication for Hollywood to start using AI instead of actual actors? Great video!!

this whole series feels so much like a place of healing. it's really beautiful.

Wow this is hitting HARD as an academic high performer. Years of college prep school has seriously messed with my health.

I relate to the constant moves. I moved so often that for 9 of my 14 years in school (counting pre k), I didn't know anyone in my class on the first day of school, or I recognized one person. I'm very adaptable now. I can talk to anyone. But, I have a VERY hard time building and maintaining lasting relationships and knowing what boundaries to have with people at different levels of friendship. I'm just now figuring this out at 27.

I appreciate you specifying "high functioning children" because some of the points resonate with me. I'm by no means a celebrity in ANY capacity, but my family held me to certain standards that I picked up and tried to meet them to the best of my ability. I think it stunted my independence, my self-esteem, and maybe more. I appreciate you making this whole series because I love this deep-dive into an industry where I'm an AVID consumer. So thank you for telling your story, giving your analysis, and telling the stories of others who may not be at liberty to do so.

I work in the mental health field and have had a lot of (really useful, genuinely lifechanging) therapy in my life, but this video actually made a connection for me that I never realized: your breakdown of your attachment style being not just connected to your specific caregiver relations, but to the unspoken dynamics of "nothing is permanent" in all of your work as a youth, made me realize that even though my home and homelife was technically on paper stable and consistent, my mom through processing her own trauma had the mindset of "always searching for something better" to give me better than what she had- which meant she often favored connecting with new parents and introducing me to new kids over sustaining connections with parents/my friends that I'd made, she moved me between dance studios/piano teachers meaning I never had consistency in the extra curriculars because I was always unlearning what I had previously learned turning what should be enjoyable hobby into a deeply stressful routine, and she moved me between schools a few times as well. I knew these frequent movements had always bothered me, but I really never connected until right now that my relationship with these aspects of my life (not people, but routines) ultimately might have influenced my deeper struggles with not having consistency, relationships ending, and change.

I grew up around the same time as you in the "soccer mom" generation. You described my childhood. There were days when we had 3 extracurricular activities after school before the age of 10. When you put it the way you did the mental health issues of our generation are not too shocking.

I think the part that hit home most for me was when you talked about attachment wounds and how kid actors can't form bonds with people or places because it's constantly changing. I'm in the military so I definitely know how difficult it is to get used to a location or a group of people only to have to leave them or have them leave you behind. If it's difficult for me as an adult, I can't imagine how that must feel for a child. I've been absolutely loving this series so far, Alyson. Thank you for what you do 💙

When I see child actors I can only help but wonder: are they safe? Is anyone looking out for them? Are they having fun? Are they getting abused? Do they feel tired/overworked? When was the last time they spent time just being a kid? Are the parents aware of anything that might going on behind the scenes that’s not safe for their child? Do they have loving caretakers present? I have a million and one questions now besides: “wow they must be living the life.” 😢

I recently watched Bird Box and I couldn’t help but think of how intense that had to be for those kids. Of course, there are other movies and shows dealing with content that is just as intense or more so, but I think it’s the first thing I’ve watched with kids in it since watching Dear Hollywood. Thanks for making us think Alyson!

I think this confirms what the industry refuses to center in these strikes, the casting couch and child abuse culture that is deeply entrenched in even getting jobs in Hollywood. It is super-gross and long-standing. Thank you for speaking truth to power.

the whole casting couch thing is so terrifying i literally cant imagine the things some ppl have to do or be subjected to "chase/reach their dreams" i hate that predators are supported and allowed to thrive in this world. tysm for your work and dedication Alyson I wish more celebrities were open and honest, but I also understand that some are bound by contracts are are too afraid, and maybe even justify all the stuff that happened to them as "just the price of it".

Ive never been ok with watching kids and babies be in media. Everytime i see a baby it makes me so sick because of exactly what youve been talking about. This is a small helpless being that is being passed around in the arms of adults that may not have the best intentions. Thank you Alyson for shedding light on this i truly hope you can change things for others.

I used to do this kind of body scan daily along with my yoga practice, and now I understand why I've stopped and been avoidant with both after trying it again. Pain. Intense pain. I have been dissociating and avoiding and eating foods that are unknowingly making me ill for the last several months, and I literally did not realize how ill I was until "we" did that. I was dissociating through the pain and wondering why I was so tired. So, thank you. This goes out to all the girlies who have struggled with ED: Please also check for any other type of digestive issue. My parents thought I had an eating disorder, my therapist thought I had an eating disorder, I was getting eating disorder treatment - I had hundreds of tiny ulcers in my stomach, esophagus, and small intestine, and possibly gastric paralysis. As soon as those get treated, I gain 10 pounds. When they get worse or I eat something that makes me ill, I drop like a stone. Editing to say also that EDs can cause these types of issues - not just the other way around. But anecdotally, most of the people I know with EDs originally struggled with undiagnosed digestive issues or other difficulties around food that created the anxiety. So it needs to be a holistic check, not just a therapy referral.

When growing up, my parents rarely let my siblings and I watch TV, and when we did it was usually PBS kids or cartoons on tape, neither of which really let us become too attached to characters or idolize those who could be peers in different circumstances. And, even when we did watch live-action shows or movies, my parents would talk to us about reality vs. fiction so we could understand the difference between a character and the person acting. I am so thankful for that fact after watching your videos.

Fame seems like a nightmare. Thank you for breaking it all down Alyson.

The pace, the writing, the ability to articulate such a complex topic. This is such an amazing podcast. Thank you for bringing us into the conversation. ❤️

it’s crazy to me how these problems really aren’t a secret and are extremely prevalent. like we know working in entertainment can be super damaging to kids, yet we care more about a good movie with a kid in it, than the livelihood of that kid. it’s just sad how common this experience is, yet we let it slide because it’s the norm. I really appreciate the concise articulation of how your career effected your growth. Anyone who works in casting or kids entertainment needs to see this before they alter a child’s life permanently for a damn tv show

Alyson, It’s a long shot for you to see this comment, but you were a very very influential and important person I looked up to when I was growing up. I’m 25 now and non binary, but AFAB. Growing up in the 2000’s, was terribly hard for me as gender norms in our society were thrown on me since before I was even born. I grew up as more of a Tom boy, and am working through healing a lot of the shame I carried through my life for that growing up. Between bullying/harassment, feeling “different” and constantly trying to be changed it was a brutal time. there wasn’t any representation at all that I saw at that age so I felt like I was just wrong. So as silly as it seems, your roles in suite life and cheaper by the dozen, playing a more “tomboy” ish character, that was just so confident impacted my little self in ways that I didn’t even realize at the time. It was the first time I really saw someone I related to and that meant the world to me. I’m sure it wasn’t intended that way, and you may have never even thought about that. But I just wanted a chance to possibly share how impactful that was to me! Thank you for caring about others and being such an incredible human!

Thanks so much for this video, Alyson. It just goes to show that Hollywood is not all glitz and glamour. It makes me even more determined to steer any future children of mine clear from the seedy industry.

Please research better help. They are very unethical and there are many more accessible options than better help.

I relate to the experience of never fully settling somewhere and being afraid to open up to new people, because I moved around a lot as a kid, and even as someone in my twenties, I haven’t moved, but I’ve watched other people move in and out of my life and it had pushed me to see everything as temporary.

This makes me think about the kpop industry. Early teens being made to practice until dawn to be perfect, extreme diets put on them by adults not for health but for the perfect beauty standard. Millions of people critising their every action and body imagine? The recent stray kids lyrics "gave up my youth for my future". It sounds inspiring. And I guess it pays off for those who become rich and successful. But what about those who don't? Or who can't cope and leave us too early? Fame sounds tough on adults. I can't imagine what it's like for young people.

These video series has been therapeutic for me, realizing how much human everyone is and how important it is to recognize and take care of yourself even if you were never taught to

ugh…I didn’t expect to discover issues I lived my whole life with while being completely unaware to it, and it’s because of this video. Im so mad now and angry how the adults in my life treated my disassociation as me having a lack of maturity, my parents and teachers both told me that. I don’t blame the teachers or my mom because they couldn’t have known, but when you realize the reality you lived in wasn’t true, and there was something dominating and programming you in your existence, that’s really debilitating to learn. I got in trouble for not being able to show up academically, socially, and mentally as I wasn’t able to focus and I would disassociate constantly. I was told I was “being irresponsible” and that “I needed to get it together.” A memory I forgot came up because my body is only now getting medical attention for the issues I had, and it’s of a school nurse lashing out at me and telling me I was lying about my physical problems and that I was crying wolf, that no one would believe me. She did this for a whole year, then made fun of me to another student while I was in the room and they both laughed at me. This went on when I was 13. Forward to now in my early twenties, and I pushed through high school and higher education, completed what I was told to do, only now I had to stop working and doing anything altogether because my body was screaming out for help and i couldn’t ignore it any longer. I’ve now been diagnosed with so many medical conditions and I’ve had to get new meds, multiple surgeries and medical treatments, and I’m seeing now 10 different medical specialists. Trauma really affects you physically too, and it’s so weird to think about how much this translates. I’m also so mad that the authorities in my life pinned all this on me and I was told I needed to keep performing. Now so many memories are coming up I didn’t realize affected me or I had forgotten about it, and fortunately I’m going to get help from a new therapist who is certified in EMDR, and fortunately my doctors are really helping me and are recommending I seek trauma therapy too. My therapist just had me fill a form out so she can tell how severe my disassociation is. You can go your whole life not knowing what made up your reality, and how it programmed you to exist, and that is devastating. I am grateful Alyson is talking about this, and she is shedding light on topics that are so prevalent, necessary, and important to discuss. Finally these things are being talked about.

When in high school, I was asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, and one of the things that often came to mind was to be a therapist for actors because it seemed to be something so important.

There’s a huge parallel I feel as a military brat and now processing my trauma from that upbringing. Moving, knowing places and people are temporary, etc.

I just continue to be so impressed by the thoughtfulness and research given to this series. Honestly, any content with kids and teens in it has started to give me the ICK! Maybe we should only allow kid performers to work a certain amount of hours per month/year? Ugh, idk what the solution is, but I’m glad we’re bringing these issues to light. So important.

I just want to say, I have general anxiety disorder among other mental health diagnoses, and my stress and anxiety often physically manifests itself all over my body. Thank you for starting the podcast the way you did, I find that is one of the most important tools for me to help ground myself, especially when I'm feeling anxious.

The idea of watching entertainment with children in it now makes me uncomfortable, I don't think I can ever forget the backdrop it is set against anymore.. I respect you so much for shedding light on this and am so happy you are recovering and doing very valuable work now to change things. I wish you well and hope your life is filled with light and guidance!

I did the first part of this, the therapy (feeling kind of dumb to try it) and afterwards started crying uncontrollably out of nowhere. That’s crazy! No idea where that came from, but my body clearly needed it. Thank you Alyson.

East Asian kid in a military family. We don't even need to go to Hollywood for examples😂

I was honestly brought to tears when you were talking about the pressure put on people to succeed

To answer your question, I feel terrified that there are kids in the entertainment industry. Especially now we’re there’s access to technology to toddlers to teens. There’s sadly increases of cyber bullying, abuse, and bullying to these young kids. Lack of growth for toddlers who are gluing their eyes to screens.

As a pregnant mama, who is also a survivor of CA and just holds a lot of tension in her body, the meditation at the beginning was the gift I didn’t know I’d need or be getting today. Thank you. 🩷 Loving this series.

I would LOVE if Alyson could share the best books she read in the last 5 years. Maybe a top 10 or 5 list, no theme, just books that she loved ♥

to answer the question: i dont watch tv but oh do i watch youtube & were gunna have a whole generation of people who basically grew up as the actor in their own home. its insane.

I'm late to this but this episode hit hard. Having a partner of 5 years recently tell me "I feel like I still dont know you. It's been this long and you still havent let the wall down" and "it amazes me how little you need to be happy" both were very sweet and from a good place. Which makes this all the more poignant. When you dont feel attached to the world, when you dissociate and rely on yourself for so long, letting others in, or asking for more, doesnt even appear in your mind as an option. Seriously, love this series. An incredible dialouge for those in and out of the industry. Incredible work.

I've been refreshing like no other for this episode today. Mental health AND we start out with Ridin' dirty? I'm here 💀💀 Love and support as always girlie!!! 🖤

Ive always felt weird about watching horror movies with kids in them.When i see them it just makes me wonder how recording these scenes affects the child's mind.I wasnt aware that all kids face a certain level of difficulty because of the industry

I’m really starting to grasp your point of thinking about the industry as a real job and everything that’s associated with the jobs I’ve had and applying those experiences to kids. That’s brought me to they shouldn’t even be doing this and I know that’s an unreasonable thought. I think it’s because I’ve never thought of tv like that when it comes to kids. In my head I assumed that there was like a special set of rules when it comes to child actors and to know they aren’t exempt from so much has me doing a hard 180 in the other direction.

I was a (much smaller scale) performer in the slam poetry scene as a teenager, and abused before and throughout that. i also have dissociative identity. disorder(and thank you for mentioning that as beautifull as you did), and i just, relate to so so much of the internal experience you've shared within your story

I’m definitely looking at child actors differently now. Before I thought “well, it’s necessary for entertainment to include kids, otherwise TV would be so bland” but now I’m realizing how selfish that statement is. That there are other ways to seek entertainment that isn’t putting kids in harms way. I feel terrible for thinking that it’s a dream come true to be young & famous & be able to buy whatever you want to make yourself happy. You guys have gone thru so much more & fame comes at a price. I’m sorry & thank you for opening my eyes. I’ve really been thinking deeply about everything you’ve said.

i've only ever heard bad bad thing from Better help :(

As a child actor myself back in the day with mild success and brushing shoulders with big stars, I've often felt wary and sad for child actors and the pipeline, while also bring envious of them if they got further than me. I feel its a bit better now than when we were growing up, but I can also tell a lot of the same power structures are in place as well. I always still feel horribly behind, and feel envy when people are further ahead of processing their trauma than me. Thats how pervasive an obsession with competition is in me. I began disassociation at 13, my head taking over. It seemed like a demon ruining my life that I had willingly accepted. I consciously recall moments of 'Ive experienced enough life, can't I just die for a while? But if I stop Ill die for good. But I already feel dead. 'I felt like a fraud, like it was my fault, and became my own main abuser. Ive never really look at it in terms of body sensation very much until the last week. Listening I could feel my body being very tense. I carry a weight Im so accustomed to yet its insane I do, its so heavy. I so seldom got the experience of true unconditional love and understanding, and Im starving for it. Im always starving for it. Im used to feeling like a beautiful desert with a few amazing flowers in it, made more beautiful by the contrast. But why can't I ever feel a meadow inside? Numb is a feeling I need to feel. That has been very helpful. As for feeling my whole body sensation, not just my stomach as I reflect and deconstruct things, thats a whole new concept for me.

Not gonna lie, now I see children on tv in a very different light. It makes me feel like I should turn off whatever I'm watching but I know that's not the point. And there are SO many. I never realised how many kids actually work on Hollywod productions.

I’ve never heard anyone articulate denial as a trauma response and it resonated SO hard. I still struggle with widening the story of my life, and not just creating slightly different skewed slivers. Thanks for naming this.

I relate to this episode soooo much. I grew up with my parents constantly bragging about my accomplishments, never wanting to he a burden or the problem child. I always kept a constant highly productive schedule. My parents claimed it kept me out of trouble. Yes, i am grateful in some aspects but it definitely also left me unable to create proper boundaries, regulate myself and value self care. I work without end driving myself to sickness or burnout, have a meltdown or depressive episode and then restart. I judge my self worth based on my productive output and achievements. I think it starts to become destructive for children when not providing the proper tools and wisdom to learn how to create balance and how to optimize self care whether thats therapy or just regulating their lifestyle as the parent and leading by example.

I think children and adults outside the entertainment industry assume that acting as a child is a form of playing - an extension of pretend play that "must be so fun" etc. Play is so important for children and young people's healthy development, and how you describe working as a child actor is nothing like play is meant to be. Thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences so honestly in these videos Alyson. I'm having really negative feelings about the entertainment industry and how it exploits children/teens (and everyone else) but I'm not quite sure what to do about it. How can we support children and other people being exploited within the industry? Should we be watching shows or is boycotting helpful?

i worked as a stage manager for only a few years. After every show I would get sick, and I ended up getting anxious before shows and rehearsals, PLUS needing to keep emailed companies to tell them i exist wasn't great for me, and by that time my partner and i bought a house, so i needed a more stable job. then Covid started and the entertainment industry stalled and i felt i dodged a bullet because i had "gotten out". i do find that sometimes i miss it, but mostly, I'm glad it's behind me

Hi, I watch every video. I love the message you're spreading, but I'd like to ask that you please reconsider allowing BetterHelp to sponsor your channel. It has many controversies, including allegedly sharing incredibly sensitive user data to online buyers like Facebook and settling with the FTC over it.

I absolutely loveeeee this series! It’s so informational. I’ve always wanted to work in the entertainment business, and even though I’m nowhere close to your success, this, give me an insight or and really helps me understand what the business is like behind closed doors! Thank you for this!!!

I was not a child star or anything close to it, but I was very dedicated to local theatre acting from the ages of 8-19. I relate to so much of what you shared here-the cyclical stimuli of being a part of productions leading to mood cycling, the constant building and breaking of social bonds and intimacy leading to insecure attachment, the self-imposed and societally-imposed pressure causing the mind and body to shut down. I now struggle with a very long laundry list of physical and mental health conditions, which are constantly in flux. I appreciate you so much for raising awareness around this issue.

Thank you for sharing all of this with us , I have so much MORE respect for you!

I feel like I don’t find children on screen entertaining anymore. It just makes me sad

Absolutely loving this series so far, bravo! Though very different, I've found so many similarities. Growing up as someone born with Spina Bifida (specifically Myelomeningocele, and Hydrocephalus soon after birth), a neural tube birth defect affecting the spinal cord. I'm 39 so I've gone through my fair share of therapy to address my traumas (medical and otherwise), and try to explain why I still feel so different from my sisters, besides logically, the obvious physical disability, as well as abusive relationships....so yeah, childhood trauma really does a number on us. Like I said, lots of similarities so far, body modifications and all. Society and expectations certainly don't help, mine's dealing with systemic ableism, daily micro aggressions, an already weakened immune system (thanks Spina Bifida!), chronic/mental illnesses and now the wonders of aging with all this. Daily physio, somatic therapy, managing my chronic pain and mental health, and self-advocating have best described my 30s. Add being queer and a cycle breaker in my family, the self-advocating and boundaries have been necessary. Thank you, looking forward to the rest of this series.

Thanks for sharing all this Alyson. ❤

Thank you so much for your commitment to this series and your compassion as you deliver each episode. Your reminders to check in with how we are feeling are (I believe) part of the reason that the comment section is so much more respectful than I was expecting from youtube. It is a wonderful moment to acknowledge and set aside the personal baggage we're bringing in. And as a person who feels like a pinball in the machine of the mental health industry, I appreciate both this series and your commitment to truth and transparency so much. Keep being awesome, the world needs more people like you

Just a thank you for doing this series. I started training as an actor/performer at 13 & kept spinning my wheels, going nowhere with my "career" until I was in my early 30s. There is so much of your story that I can relate to. I don't think that people realize that for every child star whose name you know, there are countless others who are fed through this extremely toxic system that you never see. But you've been clear on that point since the beginning & I'm grateful to you for making someone like me feel included in your analysis.

I’m really enjoying this series- I appreciate Alyssons honesty and willingness to open up. It can’t be easy.

Thank you for making this series, Alyson. I grew up with you as we are the same age, thank you for everything!

I will say that after learning of what Drew Barrymore went through I started to realize that children don’t need to be in the entertainment industry. I have not really liked the idea of child actors or singer. I have heard plenty of stories and do not wish that on anyone.

Hi alyson another great episode you doing a great job with this series you are my role model for so many years and I just want to thank you for all the years you have help me my first memory of you was in camp rock and cheaper by the dozen you and phineas and ferb your role in those tv shows and movies were amazing and what you are saying in this video is really changed me as a person thank you alyson. And keep up the good work:-D

Alyson, i really admire your intelligence and your commitment to bringing awareness to all that you and many other child actors have been through.

Thank you Alyson for these kind of podcast! i really love all your detailed content with very important questions! Send you a lot of hugs and love ✨

Thank you for sharing this. My nervous system has also been impacted by childhood trauma and I unfortunately completely understand and experience the same emotions and feelings.

Goodness gracious this is SO well thought out and SO well spoken. You touch on ALL of the big points in healing your inner child. Just magnificent.

I SO appreciate the humble perspective of those in Hollywood, but even on a whole other level the focus on people in general even in the workplace. The acknowledgement, even though it isn’t the full focus of this podcast, that there is trauma happening beyond the industry and for you connecting the dots between the two and how to resolve those issues is incredibly fascinating!

i can’t thank you enough for the dedication you’ve put into this series. from a hyper-empathetic point of view, this series continues to provoke deep emotions of revulsion towards the industry as well as feelings of betrayal and a deep sadness when i realize we as a society play a huge part in this nightmare when we obsess over child actors/artists or child-led shows/movies…. stranger things came to mind multiple times and even now, when it hasn’t even been that long, i can clearly see the effects of this culture in those child actors and it hurts. going forward i pledge to not hype up or obsess over child artists because no matter how much they think they want it, we now know the reality of it all and not buying into it is the only way we as the audience can positively impact this industry that seems so detached from us “normal” people when actually we are exactly the ones defining it. demand determines supply!! lets jot even mention the family vloggers exploiting their children now. 😔 where to find hope it the current question and this series definitely is a good place to start. i hope this conversation can continue until everyone sees the truth and that it will inspire and encourage more former or current child actors to come forward. thank you a million times Alyson.

I really respect you for being vulnerable and making this series. Im proud of you for standing up for yourself, living in your truth and being a voice and advocate for child actors. I can identify with a lot of the things youve shared in this series ❤

this episode made me cry. hit really hard. thank you so much for sharing everything

I have no words for this episode. I'm still processing. Thank you Alyson ❤️

You're definitely not alone! The world needs more people who speak out like you do.

I’ve never commented on a video before but I’m commenting now to thank you for the chance at reflection you have offered me! I’ve sat with the first ten mins of this video for the past few days and am returning to finish it now. Thank you Alyson!

This is such important work you’re doing Alyson. Not just for yourself but for everyone you’re sharing it with. Thank you for taking the time to do this. I’m really enjoying this series, you are so well spoken and I can tell you worked so hard putting this together. So many people have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes and are so quick to judge out of jealousy of the fame & (supposed) money. But I wouldn’t wish child stardom on my worst enemy.

I’ve been watching these videos with my mom. They’ve been teaching us a lot and I’m grateful for all of this. Thank you for putting yourself out there in order to help others.

Thank you, Alyson so much! I don't want to watch something with children because it makes me feel like I condone the very environment that blurs boundaries. I have family members that I "love from afar" because of trauma that I went through. I hope you get to experience a sunset and sunrise that leaves you in so much awe.

Thank you for creating these videos. Up until this video, I couldn't figure out why I suddenly felt like I could relate to all of these celebrities around my age who I rarely watched growing up because of my parents' rules around the TV. Your discussion of attachment and how many child actors become attached to the industry made it click for me. When you brought up attachment differences, I know I've always struggled with attachment to my parents (unintentionally neglected child number 4 of a family of 5 kids). But, beyond that, my first seven years of adulthood were centered around cross-cultural communication, language, culture, travel, etc., where I met many people whom I connected with quickly because of our similar interests who then moved to Germany, or Nepal, or Thailand, or Madagascar, etc., and then I moved overseas myself. Even though I avoid being in front of a camera, my interests have led me to becoming quickly attached and detached to people, and then becoming somewhat of a celebrity within the small circles I am in simply because I know another language or two. Anyway... your mentioning how insecure and pressured your life was as a child reminded me so much of my time overseas. So much uncertainty in work: will I be allowed in the country with this visa? Will I be able to communicate well with my boss with my limited vocabulary and understanding of cultural nuances? Also, so much difficulty in making friends: are they just friends with me because I am a white American? Can we get beyond these surface-level conversations into deeper connections? How attached should I let myself get to this friendship when either I or the other might leave without knowing when we will see each other again? I'm praying that God continues to heal your heart, and the hearts of those put through the same industry, as I know he is slowly healing mine.

Alyson thank you for sharing the mind f- world of mental health. Btw, you are presenting yourself in such a professional and kind demeanor which I appreciate so much. You are always a rockstar to me. Thank you for doing this series and sharing the truth. The world needs it!