Why do I have the urge to break up, when I don't really want to? Relationship OCD I Anxiety 

I’ll have like 2 or 3 months of feeling more so happy and in love with my partner but it only takes one uncomfortable or triggering thought to send me back into a “Is this right for me? Maybe I should leave, Maybe we don’t actually pair well, am I even happy?” And it’s so stupid bc I know the answers to all those questions but I just get anxious still, so annoying

I didn’t even know this was a thing. I just thought I was the only one to feel this way. 🥺

This started happening to me around late October where everything was completely fine, then all of a sudden I started to get extremely anxious and question myself and my choices. Watching videos like this gives me reassurance and for a brief time I get that 'very in love' feeling again, but then I get super anxious again.

All this came on so suddenly about a week ago and it’s so nice to feel seen and know I’m not utterly helpless. Thank you so much.

I really needed to hear this badly. No one had a video this detailed before

I've been in the same relationship for 4 yrs and I've ended it and got back together tons of times. My boyfriend is still here and loves me. It's so hard to deal with this and him having to experience this. It SUCKS having OCD esp ROCD! THANK you for this video. I'll check out the others. I know I'm not crazy but if makes you feel like you are. 💜🙏🏼

I have thought that I have ROCD for a year now. It started when my boyfriend and I were moving to a new city together to study. I had constant thoughts about "what if we break up", "do I love him?", "do I want to have sex with him". My brain was constantly working against me and I went into a depression. After six months I started seeing a psychologist who said I had obsessive thoughts. Her therapy didn't quite work for me so I stopped. During the summer when I moved back home and didn't have the stress of school, I didn't feel any obsessive thoughts. my feelings for my boyfriend started to come back again and I was very happy. When I was about to move back again and started stressing about exams, they came back and were quite pushy. My head went "break up, break up, break up". I went to a new psychologist, but now she says that it's not obsessive thoughts, but just that I'm afraid to break up and that I don't really love him. I began to believe it even more. My gut told me to break up with him, but I was in a vulnerable situation where I didn't want to make a choice. After the psychology class, I just lay in bed and cried. I felt very cold and nauseous. Now I can't do anything and feel numb all over. I'm really in pain. I don’t know what to do

Thank you for this video! It’s given some clarity to a situation with my wife who has OCD and I’m so scared of her safety and for our relationship. I don’t know if what’s happened is a real issue I’ve been oblivious to or relationship OCD, Hopefully we can get through this and become stronger because she’s amazing.

Thank you for this video. You have made me feel seen. The comfort and deep sense of relief I got from watching your video is priceless.

Oh man! I definitely have this. I have done this ever since my first bf at 16. The amount of anxiety I felt in that first relationship was insane and once I ended things I felt so much relief. I keep doing that ( pushing my partner away) every few months once in a relation since then, I’m 31 now.

I'm 17 and got into my first relationship, he's been nothing but amazing to me. But there's some days I wake up feeling so in love other days I don't and I get so worried that I'll hurt him...

This is what i need. This video help me to address my issue. Thank you so much.

I'm experiencing that right now, but earlier today I was clinging onto the possibility that this could be rOCD. And yesterday too. These thoughts have only started three days ago, but now it's really pushing me to have a breakup. It's making me stray from the idea that this isn't rOCD but my REAL thoughts. But before these three days, everything was fine. I don't understand how everything could just change and how my feelings could just change in a single night, that would lead me to three days of overthinking and anxiety.

Thank you this has made me see through her eyes ....

I am having this problem right now and it hurts so bad , the fact that I feel this way with the person that I love , the person I am happy with , The person I want to spend my life with... it just doesn't make sense... I go from happy to over thinking and obsessing 😪

What if there are legitimate problems in the relationship? Addiction, anger issues etc. No abuse though. My partner seems dedicated to working on these things in therapy, but my brain is constantly saying “run! Run away, you can’t be with someone who does _____ you need to find someone funnier, someone more motivated” etc

Yep. This is me. Thank you for the insight 💜

I only get these thoughts when I am alone. When he is with me I feel so loved and happy and I forget these thoughts. I would never want to break up. The thought of doing so is scary and hurts. I am just so scared that one day I will act on this compulsion. I don't want to lose him.

The video was superb im going through the same these past two and a half months😢

Yeah, I really need help. I’ve been having some thoughts of breaking up and I’ve been overthinking my feelings for her when I really feel like I love her, I don’t really know what to do, It’s giving me intense stress and anxiety.

My bf out of nowhere a couple of weeks ago said that he could do this anymore thy he felt like he is living a lie and everything hasn’t been real up to now. We had been dating for about 4 months and he had asked me to be his gf about a week before and said about meeting friends etc moving forward. He has told me before he was falling for me and that he was so lucky to have found me I make his life better etc etc. He said similar things the last time I saw him and was really happy and loving etc in how he was towards me. 2 days later he said he couldn’t do it anymore because it all feels like a lie. He said I give him everything he has ever wanted from someone and he wants more than anything for me to be the one and to fall in love with me but he cant. Everything he did up till now has shown me that he loves me even if he hasn’t said it properly. He has OCD intrusive thoughts anyway which he has told me about, does this sudden change and overthinking sound like ROCD?

It just… ROCD feels faded…. 😞 life has been adding extra stress… now when I did try to get help it’s like I don’t have ROCD at all anymore….some relationship issues are making things worse but I don’t wanna break up! I’m thinking too ahead in the future. I constantly feel like I know I don’t love him… work has been adding stress, needing to move is adding stress… I know I love him… but right now I truly feels like I don’t….

I had contamination OCD since I was 10 and the compultion to check locks etc. I had no idea about this subset of OCD. Our relationship does have problems but I think because I have learned to give less energy to worry about germs/locks (I thought my OCD was getting better) it has really just evolved to this. There are legitimate problems in my relationship but I think my brain is magnifying those problems and minimising the positives. I have been self treating my OCD since I was a child but it looks like it has just been evolving and not getting better :(

How do you know if it’s ROCD or you’ve just lost emotional/physical attraction for someone? Is staying in the relationship longer a way to test it? Or should you bring it up with your partner?

I feel like this was one of many caused that ended my relationship with my ex just after a year being together. Been over 2 months but still feel stuck and not motivated for anything in life, my mind always comes up with ways to talk to her again and that there is a possibility of getting back together...

About a year and a half ago I discovered that I have R-ocd. I started to work on myself with eft and this summer we're together a lot. I felt good and had the feeling that I was healing my R-ocd, But now he has internship each day whereby I don't see him that often anymore. in the weekends we both work and since last weekend my anxiety got worse and one of my most scariest thought (that I need to break up) came back.. How is this possible? I feel like I didn't heal anything at all and that im back at square one and that I need to break up bc of the anxiety :((

The problem for me is that sometimes the feeling is so real that it feels like I really do want to. I feel numb, depressed, physically anxious around him… and I can’t feel even calm. I’m not sure what to do, o know all this is ROCD but it physically HURTS. I can’t take it anymore… I feel almost on the verge of something stupid.

this has happen to me also in SO-OCD: i have the urge to say that I might be gay, when I don't want (and don't feel to)

I’ve been in wonderful relationship for the past four months and just today I experienced the first feeling that something wasn’t right, that she’s not being honest with me. My gut is telling me I need to run. I’m so upset.

my partner is the most amazing girl in the world and i love her so much but my ocd has been telling me all these things like "I don't love her" and "U don't have feelings for her" and I get the feeling that I should leave. But I know if I leave I will regret it, how do i try my hardest to just be happy with her?

Me and my girlfriend we are deeply in love we love each other so much and care for each other so much but she have ocd and she broke up with me recently because she can't stand the pressure and anxiety anymore and she just wants to be alone to relax and not to have these thoughts but we still love each other and she tells me she can't because she is tired and so, so how do I get her back and help her, what should I do please answer me

Ok so I understand how to tell when it is ROCD, but how can someone who has OCD recognize legitimate concerns and when you really aren’t in the best relationship for you?

I did something bad in my relationship back on Tuesday and it cause me extreme shame/guilt ever since I’ve been having non stop thoughts about breaking up . I’ve never had this before and I’m scared , the thoughts are staying with me every second of every day . It cause me anxiety as I don’t want to break up but I can’t stop thinking about it . And it’s effecting my relationship and my life . Is this ocd ?

I love my partner very much and yet I break up with him all the time. He doesn't give me emotional security. I was looking for anxiety attachment, but then this video showed up. I have OCD, but I've never thought of this connection. I don’t know what to do. Is it me or is it him. It could be my OCD but his actions does not match his words and he is changing his (future)plan all the time.

I realy love her i dont want to leave her😭

I don't have the what if thoughts but I have to avoid my partner because it scares me , I had a lot panic attacks.

Hi how much do you take per session

What if deep down it’s like you want to break up? Or you did a compulsion saying you know you don’t love your partner to feel better to see if you would go back to normal again… but it didn’t work…? I obsessively thought of issues flaws in my relationship non stop… I cried after but the break up urges got stronger! But now I am convinced I don’t love him anymore that I am only with him to avoid hurting him when I want my non obsessive moments back bc I didn’t constantly think of the issues and flaws. I was just relax and could actually enjoy my time with him. I could say I love you.

Can someone please help me out.. I've this feeling that my partner is my everything and feels like the one, but something in me is resisting to fully commit to him. Like right now I want him, but cannot even talk to him. If I'm in his presence everything is fine, but when I'm not with him my body is constantly feeling the pain of losing him. Like I'm in a break up. I'm constantly feeling pain, anxiety and cannot live like this anymore. I just don't get it and it drives me insane. Its getting worse and right now I cannot even enjoy life anymore. Everything is triggering me. I cannot listen to music about love or watch movies about love. I know I have a fear of abandonment, but he's giving me already enough assurance. So it must be something else.. Can it be that my body is telling me that I have to leave even though he's my everything and I cannot imagine living without him????

can you have such a big intrusive thought around breaking up and ROCD that you start to convince yourself that you really do want to break up?? Parts of you still wants to be with the person but the anxiety wears that down?

I have been having those feelings for a year now, and we broke up and we are still in contact its like unending circle!! Its really exhausting.

Yesterday i saw a video on tiktok and it was related to how to break up and I started to think about it the whole time should I break up it’s so bad and like idk if I want a break up or not it’s not leaving my mind I’ve been dealing with rocd since march

I have ocd since june 2022 and i was ok since last week where it came back like very Bad ... I have break up urges but when i think to leave my partner i start ti cry and want to throw up... What trigered me IS that you said it happens at the beginning but not for me !!! Is this Bad !!!!?

Do you have video on the compulsion of comparing

Relationship happy Jessica till 3 years

My ocd focuses on what if I’m being abused by him and I’m in denial or I will take something he said and make it seem so big does anyone have advice on this for ocd and not being able to tell if your being abused or not? My partner is very sweet and loving but when I was a child I was abused and I feel like I should know what abuse looks like but I really can’t tell and it’s trying to make me breakup and there isn’t really anything he does and if there’s something like a dumb argument my brain goes crazy

I’m wondering, how do I bring up this concern to my therapist?

What if there are genuine issues in the relationship? I love my partner but I feel that many of my themes revolve around real issues we have. For example, he is a jokester and his jokes have made me uncomfortable and hurt my feelings. We’re both 18 and I’m aware we’re still learning and growing but how can I help myself see things clearer and understand how much of it is the ocd and what are my genuine thoughts and feelings?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost six months and around 2 1/2 months I started pushing away even tho I was super happy with him and since then it’s just been in and down rn I’m currently up until just recently

Why do i have this? A childhood trauma? Which one?

i definately have rocd. Now i'm on the stage where i think i have decided to break up with my partner in one month and that makes me feel better. is that because of the certainty ocd seeks or is that our relationship is over because i got tired od fighting with no result?

What about attachment type + childhood trauma +ocd

How does one do an ERP session for break up urges? Could someone give me an example?

I broke up with my gf and didn’t want to. I broke down so bad in tears and I still cry over her a lot. We haven’t cut contact. We still talk everyday and want each other .I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore. I’m scared to date cause I don’t want the intense anxiety anymore but I miss her and want her in my life. Does this sound like something your coaching could help? I don’t wanna waste my time and money. I’m a college student and am nervous about therapy