To men, certain women is good enough to be a baby momma but not a wife. My 93 year old grandma use to tell me that if you are good enough for a man to sleep with, then you are good enough to marry.
Remember, even if he marries you... That doesn't mean he won't abandon you and the baby at any time. Nothing, absolutely nothing, guarantees that a person will stay with you in the long run.
These men are making these babies to "lock" these women down so they can always have access to her. It's not always about they just want a baby to love them.. I have seen this alot and the women have to know who they are and use wisdom and not let a man dictate what happens to their body.
If you don’t want to be a daddy, don’t do daddy things. I don’t be having no cares in the world when I tell men hell to the nah we can’t have casual sex. I’m not about to be doing activities that may potentially cause me to create a single parent household. I’m cool sir…you can call me every name under the sun, but a baby mama just won’t be one!! Lol 😂
@@KeepTheFaith00 I turned 40 in May and I don’t have any kids. People used to try and make me feel bad because I’ve always said I never wanted children. Just randomly having kids with men is weird to me. That was just never a turn on for me. And I always tell men “You wanting to sleep with me is not a compliment. You wanting to stick your d$&k in me raw is not a compliment. Marry me then. If you want that kind of access. Commit to me in front of God. Put me on your life insurance policy and health insurance. That’s a compliment.” I’m so glad my daddy raised me. It gives me a chance to understand the type of woman and person I am in general. I’m not a vibe, I’m a whole frequency and I’m not meant to flow with everyone. I’m so happy and there’s nothing anyone can do that can take that away. I wish women and men would start feeling better about themselves. Stop treating themselves low budget.
I'm telling you I'm struggling as a baby mom. Begged me for the child then left me to raise the child alone. Don't. Have. A. Child. Outside. Of. Wedlock! It's Not Worth It
You’ve been a wife… that man was trying to play you. I’m glad you got out. That’s weird that he wanted a life long commitment (a child) without any paperwork. What!? That’s crazy. Did you tell him that you wanted a family too but wanted to be married first? He still didn’t budge? That’s strange. I bet he’ll change his mind and will be calling you. Watch.
@@myahill7475 Thank you Mya, I told him form the word go that I want to build a family God’s way, righteously. He is also a Christian but a while after started saying he doesn’t not want to conform to society’s templates of getting married, he just wants a baby and to move in together. I was like not with me, no way in hell. Such a waste of time, I should have also left sooner.
@@buildtheark5973 he may not know any better and might be listening to dummies giving him bad advice. When he reaches out to you, because he will, explain to him what marriage actually means. Tell him how serious you are about being the best wife and loving towards your husband. Tell him that you believed that HE was your husband… that you thought your prayers were answered, but when he only wanted to shack up and make you a baby mama, it hurt your heart. Speak of all of your values of respect, honor, and how you will keep a beautiful and peaceful home. Tell him how dysfunctional it is to have children out of wedlock and without the proper commitment. Ask him what are his hang ups about marriage. Be in a chipper mood. Don’t get emotional or aggressive, just listen, and reiterate the truth. Jordan Peterson explains the importance of commitment. Send him a clip. This man may just be influenced by other ignorant men. You did give him three years, he’s probably a good guy so… at least have a decent dialogue to provide closure. Try not to be upset. It’s not you. It’s the culture. We must get what we want before giving away any husband privileges. Men are comfortable with the toxicity and the sinking ship. He’s going to reach out so be prepared. God will provide you a wonderful husband and family. Keep up the faith and great work. It’s hard doing what you did. You’re courageous and strong.
@@myahill7475 Thank you for the beautiful advice, I really appreciate it. I also have faith that God will bless me with a beautiful husband and family. I will have the conversation with him, it’s imperative that I do, I just pray that we can all just be spiritually mature and to take God’s narrow path that will lead us to all have beautiful fulfilling lives instead of conforming to the ugly patterns of this world.
Unfortunately, there are also some men and women that think marriage is just a PIECE OF PAPER and a FORMALITY. They don't see anything wrong with bringing an innocent child into the midst of this situationship. No thought is given on how the child(ren) will be raised. The parents just "GO WITH THE FLOW."
I saw a post on Reddit recently on r/personalfinance about a woman in a situationship whose partner suddenly died. Together for 10 years but not married. She’s not next of kin and has to go to probate court to MAYBE gain control of the house. Definitely not just a piece of paper when it comes to legal/health matters.
Protect your womb, as Iyanla Vanzant stated to women. Wait for a GOD fearing good husband before starting a family. People have deviated from the scriptures in this world. These men creating families without stability are going to face accountability on judgment day
“ egg beggars”😂 that’s so true! This was a great message, I refuse to have anybody’s child without being married. I made the mistake once and God has taught me my lesson.
Almost everyone is having seggs on the first date these days or at least withing weeks of meeting. Forget about vetting getting to know and figure out what that person is about - their character standards or values. All of this unprotected!!! That's why
I can't understand why ppl need to make children not being married. I understand sometimes things happen women get pregnant. But there are children in this world who need a loving home. This world has turned backwards! We should get the ring & then the babies!!!
Bc alot of ppl are satisfied with the bare minimum and enjoy the baby making process. Alot of women don't even expect a man to stop with the baby bc they genuinely thought that man loved them . As a child born out of wedlock,I wish we as a people stop it. Alot of children are suffering and trying to heal in different parts of life due to 1 night of passion. Men think about themselves. They don't think about they child not getting the opportunity to have their dad their full time,but will give another woman's kids that opportunity or his new family that opportunity causes alot of resentment/issues in children. I'm not super religious, but I'm mature enough as a adult to realize how God intended our family unit to originally be. And it looks nothing like what it is today. Little girls developing around men is another thing men don't think about when doing this crap.
Wow! I'm so glad that Tony addressed this issue! Yes, we women have our issues. However, I have seen men act exactly how he described as far as just wanting to procreate with an attractive woman but not wanting to commit to that woman! Also, there are a lot of men that trap women. They intentionally impregnate women that they know they don't want to be with just to sow their seed. Consequently, they have no intention of providing mental, emotional, physical, or consistent financial support to these children. It's truly sad.
And this is why women should go on birth control and make men use condoms. Women are the gatekeepers to childbirth. A woman can go on birth control, get an ab0rtion, etc. I knew one whyte girl who was a straight-up sleaze in college, but I saw her pop that birth control pill in her mouth every night.
Without passing judgement or ridicule I simply must inquire, If birthing a child would lead to a suspected negative outcome, why not prevent pregnancy or terminate the pregnancy...with numerous forms of available contraception, emergency contraception and even abortion still lawful in many states. No child has to be born. Forging the "it takes two" and abortion debate, while also understanding this is a religious oriented audience. I truthfully would enjoy understanding why a women in modern times would become a unmarried mother.
@@Maybe-cg2tn You've suggested: "There are some women that want a child but not a husband." Even with the all the available statistical information showcasing the disadvantages associated with being a single mother? Again no judgement nor ridicule, however I would assume a mother's desire would be steeped in providing her child with optimum chances and opportunity to become successful in life. Within the black community there is decades of research and visible outcome depicting the negative affects of single parent households. These overwhelming statistics support traditionalist theory two parents are routinely better then one. Of course their will always be statistical outliers and anomalies however I believe perspectives of "There are some women that want a child but not a husband," are a huge issue to a ongoing problem.
@@slickdawg5976 So many women have been left to raise the children on their own when they were expecting to have the father there to help. They really weren't prepared for that. Some of the women that are choosing to have a child on their own are much more prepared. They aren't going to be counting on a man for support. I know I wish I had forgone marriage and children both. It really wasn't my plan.
I agree. There comes a point in a man's maturity where we can see a 7 or 8 (out of 10) for her beauty and who can be our one & only. After seeing all of the baddest on campus you can see, after seeing in real life the standout 10s that work for the TV news outlet or in a Health Profession, after being in the environments where pretty girls are in their bathing suits (fitness shows, Spring Break, Bikini 👙 Car Wash, etc.) - you realize that it all starts the same: a smile 😀, a nose, 2 eyes, 2 ears, a forehead, a hairline, an abdomen, legs.... You learn to appreciate God's creation: woman. It's the day that you see that pretty: librarian, school secretary, higher education leader, volunteer/staff worker in church, mail carrier, etc. Far from ugly, you just see with mature eyes now and not what some level of media told you is beautiful.
At At least you notice that we work and have jobs. Because if I had a dollar for every time, some ignorant man asks me. Who bought that necklace or who bought that purse? "As if 80% of house hospital workers aren't women" is beyond my comprehensive lol 😂 I'm like f00l I bought it with my hard earned cash... But as a black woman, it's even more offensive because we don't have a history of being housewives nor stay-at-home Mother's. We always been working right beside yall..
Not only do men do this but some women do the same as well look at a man based off looks economic status career or fame. I believe that’s why all these women are falling for mr cannon and his not even putting a ring on it. Also may I add..these ppl are very reckless idc how fine how rich someone is STDs are still real. You can’t look at a person on the outside and say they have this or that. Medications that ppl are taking now ppl look healthy. Folk better be careful out here in these streets
You better preach Tony. This is why I just cut off a toxic grown boy after 4 years (sadly I waited that long ). By God's grace and mercy I didn't get trapped by that grown boy. I just received a Master of Science degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and now I feel free, accomplished, and patiently waiting for my husband from God.
I'm a Mental health Therapist of 12 years, welcome to the field and congratulations! The right man will find you, just focus on building your career, it's alot of work, but it's worth it. 🙂
@Malimal The dating market isn't a big deal to me. What's for me is for me. My education was the most important to me at the time. And I accomplished it with a Master's and higher salary. I'm still very young and have plenty of time for dating. So your comment is irrelevant.
@@cort4830 Very young ? you have until 35 before you are in geriatric pregnancy , when you are 28 you are already out of your prime dating age and think your money will make you more attractive which it won't, and will honestly do the opposite. The more and more money you make the smaller and smaller your dating pool becomes and you are getting older which decreases your dating pool and you are more than likely raising your body count which decreases your pool even more and you are becoming more independent which decreases your dating pool even more. Society has lied to women about the time they have to get a good man, you don't need to focus on that in the future you need to focus on finding a good man yesterday as your dating pool of men is becoming smaller and smaller each day you put it off cause you think you have so much time . So many women make that same mistake , don't be stupid
In my early 20s, I met a guy in his mid 30s who was clearly targeting me as a potential "egg donor". On our first date, he said to me point blank: "Marriage I can live without. Kids I can't."
@@justfit71 Tbh it threw me for a loop, cos it was a change from ye olde "I'm not looking for anything serious"... but that went nowhere. I realised kids outside of marriage was the norm for all his relatives in his age cohort. He was the "successful" one in his extended family, with the Good Job and the mortgage doing all this stuff and spending all this money on others people's kids. I recall saying to him firmly and calmly that he already had way too many responsibilities to others and very few self-respecting women were going to be okay with that arrangement. Also, with the other kids' parents' lives being such trainwrecks (incarceration, drug abuse and the list goes on)... what would happen if the nieces and nephews he loved ended up in foster care but he had kids of his own to care for??
Some women are still under the impression that getting pregnant is going to keep him or be future income. Although it takes 2 I blame women for not protecting herself from getting pregnant and when the relationship is over immediately she's having a baby for the next man, it's a vicious cycle. If the woman doesn't require the man to wear a condom she should at least protect herself from getting pregnant and STDS.
I would never want a men to want to marry me because i had his baby. I want him to marry me because he loves me and wants to be with me. Want better for yourself. Dont have no baby with nobody that didnt marry you before wanting a baby. We got to know our worth and value. Am happy my husband didnt want to have sex with me until after marriage snd i didnt want to have sex with him until marriage. We both waited until our wedding night and had our first baby together in marriage. That what should be happening when you love and value someone you want the best for them even if that means denying your desires to have sex before marriage. We wouldnt be in some of the postions we find ourself in if we would just wait until marriage. Some people motives arent good either they try to trap you and cause you to be in sin.
I can't be away from my child at all....AT ALL. No amount of time. I don't see how people do it. And then some women are wanting to send they kids off to live with they fathers for good.
You know Tony our society has changed so much. My mom said if You will help the man by keeping Your legs closed that it would cause the man to ponder or push to marriage. I have noticed if You do not have sex even at my age, the younger generation knows that. I am tell my sons that You do not want children allover the place. It heartbreak the children an they are possibly with a man who does not like Your children. especially now days.
I totally agree with.💯 I do somewhat believe that Mr.N.C is doing this because he is trying to perserve his "legacy" because of his illness. I sense he is trying the way he know how to "Live his life (YOLO)" before he pass.....🤔IDK..But may God be with them children❣
I've been pursued by 3 egg chasers who were aspiring serial impregnators (luckily none of these men are father's from what I last heard and there's a GOOD reason for that-society has been spared from their recklessness so far). The sad part is before I got therapy and cleaned up my social circle I was beyond flattered until I realised that the reason I was allowing such broken men in my life is because I was broken myself back then. Luckily I was only in a brief relationship with the first one of them and the other two I only dated for 2 months before it ended. But the first guy was the biggest lesson I needed to never settle for a man with this mindset, access to your womb is the highest honor you can give a man and if he's not willing to reciprocate that honor first through marriage you NEED to run for the sake of your future, wellbeing and offspring. I know two women who had children with egg chasers and one of them had a severe mental breakdown despite being blessed with her son. Life is hard enough don't make it even harder by having children with broken men.
You are absolutely correct but I’ll be honest it’s kinda silly we think this way. I know we look at others and think our kids will get their attributes ect but I see a lot of times that is not the case at all. I’ve seen the most beautiful couples (Demi Moore and Bruce Willis ) have kids that look average & vice versa - I’ve seen extremely beautiful people come from “average looking” ppl. Look at Zendaya Coleman. I couldn’t believe when I seen her parents because They are just everyday average ppl (not saying they are ugly) but it’s shocking as she is easily one of the most beautiful women in Holly weird…. to me anyways. Genetic lottery is a thing. 🤷♀️
Thank you for making a video on this topic ✅ Ex boyfriends want me to be their baby mama but that does not impress me. I KNOW I am worthy of being a wife 💍
Another great topic! You find so many relationships today, they will have a baby but not commit to marriage. Know your worth. Nick Cannon having all these kids from different women is not good.
Every women in the world needs to have sex only in a marriage especially in this day and age and they must ensure that before having a baby they are in a marriage and that their husband is capable of being a good father, its about stability
Amen, because these precious Babies need stability not a toxic teeter-tottering existence its unfair to set them up to gratify someone's fleshly appetite and to idolize oneself its very selfish 😒 they deserve to be loved for who they are special gifts of the LORD.
Thank you Tony appreciate your prayers back at you and your family …. These messages have helped me clearly understand what God wants for us in the long term best of luck in all you do for the collective community again muchos gracias.
People got it all wrong God design marriage first and then you can have a baby God design it right we people supposed to get married first not have a baby out of Warlock they getting messed up in all wrong go to God first and pray he'll let you know and he will show you some signs😃
Marriage Come From Heaven but don't let the devil steal it because he hate it and God loved marriage God want us to do it right and his way some people get confused but baby don't come first marriage come first
Just happened to see this video as soon as I opened my RU-vid. The title seemed interesting, so I opened it. Wow, what a powerful video, powerful words of wisdom. So true. Opened my eyes to some things I will share. Thanks, Tony.
thanks i needed this was feeling low earlier adn doubting mmy worth/value cz i make it very clear i want marriage and then a kid and men want short cuts with miss loose booty
I am Indian but living in the Netherlands-Europe. In my indian culture and religion (Hindu) you should get married first and only have children after marriage. We apply this strictly and as far as I know, Christians and actually all cultures also apply the rule of getting married first. I understand that line of thinking too. However, I see that black people and Latinos often have a promiscuous lifestyle and often start having children before their marriage. You also see that the black community in the Caribbean countries and Europe has a promiscuous lifestyle. Black women often have children from different men. Also the same with black men. This ultimately leads to children doing exactly the same as their parents and making little progress. It remains a circle and leads to a lot of pain, trust problems and anger. Morals matter, it protects and gives values. You are right Tony, it's very good to marry a natural beautiful or average woman with good morals and values and worthy of marriage type. Those women make the relationship spiritual. Such a shame that men these days make the choice to come up with a shit woman. Apparently for many men appearance is more important than moral norms and value and love.
My grandmother always told me that if I don’t want to get married and have kids don’t. She also told to not let anybody try to convince or force me to marry, and to only do it if I’m comfortable with it. Peer pressure be having people having babies and getting married and ending up unhappy.
I need help! I got a girl pregnant out of wedlock and I’m lost. I asked her to marry me during the pregnancy and she said yes initially but then over time she eventually rejected me. We broke up when my son was a few months old and after a few months of being apart she wanted to get back together and to try again. I moved back in and we are already on the path or separating again. I’m trying my best. I want to be there for my son every single day of his life, but I just can’t make it work with my girlfriend. She refuses to commit to me but wants all the benefits of having a Christian husband without having to be a Christian wife and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve already decided I could love her and forgive her for anything but I just don’t see myself having a “wife” in the future. I feel like I essentially have to chose between a broken family or being in a household where the woman has no commitment or respect towards me. I feel like I compromise my morals and ethics’s and suppress my true nature on a daily basis just to please her. I don’t know what to do
I feel alone often and have not been my husband’s priority in a long time. He puts his first born daughter(my step daughter) before me and our 2 other children. This can really hurt sometimes and seems to cause less intimacy in our relationship.🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your knowledge despite what culture or society may believe. We need a reset, marriage and building families matter and having present fathers are an essential need.
Marriage doesn’t solve anything. I see women who are married who husbands leave them as single mothers to be with next female. I see them complain how their husbands don’t even help with the kids. Married men act like they are single smh.
Women have to take out the time to choose the right man, a lot of times we look for the superficial and not really seeking a man of character. Marriage is honorable and it’s better to marry and attempt to do things right in the sight of the Lord than to not try at all.
People who think like that really kill me!🙄 I'm pretty sure God intended for MOST people to marry THEN have children. She needs to take accountability!
Well I'm not gonna attract a husband then because I'm beautiful I know I am. But bc my stomach it takes away points lol. Also bc my body isn't booty. And skinny too not thick which depend on guy preference bc some guys like skinny. So I feel I'm a 9 at my best bc my stomach. At my worse a 7 and my reg days an 8 Also guys never approach me and I feel it's bc they think I'm too beautiful. Kids have told me I look like a model and a doll. But also guys dnt just come up me all time holla they dnt approach me They actually seem run from me Then when I say something them like smile speak and if start talk they say how beautiful I am and focus on looks and that's why they like me So according to him men being train not pursue beautiful women that's not right ppl can't help if they beautiful. That's like saying dnt talk woman bc she not as beautiful that's not right we don't tell ppl dnt talk him bc he not as good looking bc Tony actually good looking. Or dnt talk a guy bc he too good looking Ppl need stop judge ppl appearance that's the prob. It's pose be abt what's inside. Ppl always judge me bc how I look. But I look young etc. Then when they actually talk to me they perception change. I dnt judge ppl. I dnt even care or see ppl appearance outwardly. I dnt notice until I'm made to notice I see ppl souls and hearts That's good he decide marry her But to me he said his wife wasn't beautiful to him that's wrong smdh. He said bc money she became beautiful. How does he think that make her feel That's why he sayin that abt women bc he didn't think his was beautiful until others now sayin she is He seem he married her bc he felt she was reg and would stay w him so to me this a guy insecurity
I refuse to have a baby before marriage. I would be a TERRIBLE baby mama. My child will live in the house with their FATHER so yea. Don’t be an egg beggar over here bc I would pay child support with no issue
