I believe i lost my salvation. I read Hebrews to learn more of the new covenant and ended up learning why i cannot stop this depression. Heb 6:4-6 and 10:26. I willingly fall into sexual sin, and it keeps happening until I felt lost. God left! Once this happens it is impossible to repent. Like Esau. I feel like Esau. Since I cannot ever be saved now, all i can do is expect fiery wrath in the future. I hate life and people and just eant to find drugs to numb my mind. Am i really beyond hope? Not looking for sugar coated lies either. I wish i was never born
