Why don't men wear engagement rings?

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Once upon a time, American jewelers proposed engagement rings to men, and they did not live happily ever after.
Source: "A 'real man's ring': gender and the invention of tradition." Howard, Vicky. Journal of Social History. Summer 2003.
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20 июл 2014

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Комментарии : 291

@Emac951 8 лет назад

After my fiancé and I got engaged. His friends at work were asking " where's yours?" His work friends are quite a bit younger than he and I; so to us this seemed like a foreign concept. The idea of him having a ring to signify that we are engaged and he's off the market, intrigued him. So one Saturday we went out and he picked out an engagement ring for himself. After I bought it we stood in the store and I said "Will you marry me my love?" .. Of course he said yes and I put a ring on it 😉 He loves his ring, wears it all the time and gladly flaunts it . I'm really glad we went the unconventional route on engagement rings. It seems much more special.

@rizzzzzzzzzzzz 7 лет назад

That's so sweet! Congraaats!

@Amy_Dunn 10 лет назад

I don't know about other countries, but at least in America, women being the "asker" is seen by a lot of people as Shameful for both parties. I saw a post online not too long ago with a video of a woman who proposed to a man, doing the whole getting down on one knee and presenting a ring to a man, who was overjoyed and had tears as he accepted. The amount of seething hate the both of them received was disheartening. The man was emasculated and the woman was called pushy and all sorts of other horrible things.

@sutematsu 10 лет назад

That really is a shame. I proposed to my (now) husband, and he actually seemed relieved that he didn't have to plan a whole big thing for it. (Although the big proposals these days are cute, the expectation that's starting to build around them is vexing.) Women should feel like they have more power to take steps in the relationship without waiting on the man. The relationship is between both people; neither should have to wait for the other to do anything that moves the relationship. Women need to feel strong enough to go after what they want, just as men need to get over thinking that having a woman do a traditionally male role is emasculating. This is supposed to be a partnership, not a dictatorship. :p

@BlackHayateTheThird 10 лет назад

sutematsu These two posts make me feel so relieved! I was the one who originally initiated the relationship. we never really asked each other out, we just started always texting each other, I visited him often at the library, then we were always together, and then eventually we were like 'are we dating?' It was like we'd always been together, it was so natural. He's mentioned before that he doesn't like the stress of having to propose or ask people out, and that he'd rather be proposed to. In the end, since he's Korean we would have to make that decision together anyways. I haven't met his parents, since in Korean culture you only meet the parents once you decide to get married. And so, I find it relieving that others have proposed and made this decision and it's worked out so well! We'll see where our relationship goes, since I don't know a lot of Korean- Canadian couples and it's tough understanding cultural differences sometimes. Thanks for the post~

@GraceSerenityK 10 лет назад

I would love to be proposed to by a lady. If we've been dating long enough that she thinks it's time to get married, I will feel no shame in accepting. I don't care what society tells me, I refuse to let strangers dictate how I feel about my intimate relationships.

@MD-gx4bw 10 лет назад

I can not think of anything that would make me more ecstatic and certain of my relationship than if my future girlfriend proposed to me. I would sport my ring with pride in her strength and in the love that she has for me. It takes a huge amount of bravery to ignore tradition and stand up to that social pressure and If she was willing to subject herself to all that to be married to me... It would mean a lot. I can't convey how much it would mean. Probably more than the wedding vows or any other action.

@lilydalbkce3249 10 лет назад

This is how I see an engagement happening between a future boyfriend and myself. Person 1: (jokingly) Well, maybe we should just get married. Person 2: (seriously) Do you want to? Person 1: Why not? Person 2: Let's do it! Explaining to relatives: Mom: How did he propose? Me: Well... Uh....

@darrenskjoelsvold 8 лет назад

My wife got me a ring when we were engaged, and I wore it as a "mangagment" ring (spell check says that's not a real word but forget about it). It became my wedding ring after I gave it to the Maid of Honor who then gave it to my wife to give it back to me during the service, but I already had a tan line by that time. Anyway, I don't really think there's anything strange about engagement rings for men, and I sorta liked mine when I was engaged because I liked it. It made me feel special.

@rizzzzzzzzzzzz 7 лет назад

This story is so cute! Congrats!

@darrenskjoelsvold 7 лет назад

+Riza V. thanks

@eggsnspam 7 лет назад

My husband wore what was supposed to be his wedding ring for almost a year before we got married. He said it's a good reminder. I was reminded by my girl friend that it's not a custom in the US and that I should consider it a positive. We're still married 16 years later. When you're committed, you're committed.

@_kimball___1826 7 лет назад

Darren Skjoelsvold I'm glad to hear you liked it. I had no idea men didn't wear engagements rings. That's so fucked up in my opinion, so the WOMAN has to wear a ring, she gets a band claiming her as someone else's future spouse, she has to let everyone know, but the MAN doesn't? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I dunno it feels sexist almost. I'm gonna get my fiancé a ring. No way this trend is continuing.

@threestoogesfan2 8 лет назад

I got my fiance an engagement ring and gave it to him after he had given me mine. He loves it and wears it all the time. I didn't think it was fair that I would be the only one getting something nice to show for our commitment. If relationships are supposed to be 50/50, then why do engagement traditions still have to be one-sided?

@jungleno. 5 лет назад

50/50? Just curious how much did you spend on his engagement ring versus how much did he spend on your engagement ring? I'm sure you got a diamond.

@edwincorvera1156 4 года назад

Haha lol, don't listen to the diamond comment it's the thought that counts! Traditionally when the man gets the woman an engagement ring the woman gets the man a Watch

@nathaliedaceus8654 3 года назад

That’s a big “if”

@threestoogesfan2 3 года назад

@@jungleno. 50/50 means equal effort. Please do not make the mistake of thinking it means equal money. You're setting yourself up for disappointment if that's the case.

@jjrichardson5434 2 года назад

No your supposed to be 100/100 you both give your all some days you may have to give 110 to carry your partner sometimes

@dracawyn 8 лет назад

My husband wanted an engagement ring. He was just as excited as I was that we were going to get married and he wanted to advertise it. In fact, on the way back from the canyon where we got engaged, we stopped and bought him a cheap little magnet ring off a street vendor. It didn't take long for it to break, but I bought him a nicer one (it even matched mine) and did my own goofy little proposal to give it to him. His brothers made fun of him for wearing an engagement ring but could never quite articulate why they found it worthy of mockery.

@Pet_Obsessed5253 3 года назад

Omg I read your comment and you gave me an idea because my man wants an engagement ring and once I get it for him he's allowed to propose to me he already has my engagement ring. He's ready to get mocked at work for wearing it lol he has brought that topic up alot lol just saw that this comment is 4years old 😂 sorry but thank you😁

@dnationapocalypse 2 года назад

@@Pet_Obsessed5253 I bought my own wedding ring and wore it up until the day that I married my wife. I just told people I didn't know, that I was already married and my family and friends didn't care that I was already wearing my ring, nor did I care

@emiwarble 10 лет назад

I died at the "Marry me, Suzie!" "Who's Suzie?!" bit.

@Amy_Dunn 10 лет назад

"But Sam!" "Who's Sam?!"

@tetsubo57 10 лет назад

My wife asked me to marry her. Because she was more commitment shy than I was. I did not receive an engagement ring. She gave me a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary. Our wedding bands are tungsten. Actually our second bands. We originally had bands made from titanium and silver. But we both lost 65 pounds and needed to get new ones. I wear both now. The old one on my right hand and the new one on the traditional left ring finger.

@iamcuriousidiot 10 лет назад

This sounds amazing :) Wish you both luck!

@tetsubo57 10 лет назад

Alina Kuzmich Thank you. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on Halloween.

@tetsubo57 10 лет назад

***** If I gain weight I would wear my old ring. I doubt I will lose more weight. I have been trying and failing.

@WobblesandBean 10 лет назад

An engagement dictionary. Oh man, I am so jealous!

@CasualVince 8 лет назад

As a male, I would love to have an engagement ring when that point in my life comes.

@Noah_E 7 лет назад

Rings can be downright dangerous for men to wear. My parents have been married for almost 50 years and in that time my dad was an Air Force officer, machinist, mechanic, Fire Chief, and safety service officer. He never wore a wedding ring and even after retiring still doesn't. An engagement ring would be just as strange and would do nothing to further validate my parent's relationship. Buying overpriced trinkets as external symbols of internal commitments is stupid.

@jungleno. 5 лет назад

True. In owning three homes I've always done my own carpentry, masonry, plumbing, electrical, Etc. work around the house. The day I got my wedding ring caught on one of my power tools was day I stopped wearing it. Of course my wife was forever suspicious of my motives.

@MsDanceDiva234 7 лет назад

I'm glad men want an engagement or wedding ring. I for sure will be getting my future love a ring, whether he wears it or not. I want him to have something to show for our commitment.

@_kimball___1826 7 лет назад

DanceDiva234 😂 whether he wears it or not. No I'm making mine wear it.

@BradMcHelm 7 лет назад

I thought men get rings after the girl says yes...

@isabellaereshki 7 лет назад

exactly. this is what i was taught was tradition.... traditionally i was taught conversations were had and ring shopping was done together for both engagement and wedding rings as time and finances dictated... surprise proposals became more common over time, with a ring to accompany the proposal so the woman would know the man was serious and possibly be more likely to say yes. to mitigate the risk if she said no, only one ring was purchased.. if she said yes and both agreed they both should have rings.. the guy then got a ring as well... usually already having an arrangement with the jeweler to have a matching one in his size or at least matching style/color/material. over time tradition became more elaborate rings for the woman and for the proposal even if it meant forgoing the man's ring, also, poorer couples usually could barely afford the woman's engagement ring if any engagement ring... those two trends combined for what we see today where men rarely have an engagement ring.. for a time men didn't have wedding rings either due to frugality or if they did the men's wedding ring was not purchased til 2-3 years after the wedding took place, with a placeholder or borrowed ring used for the man in the ceremony if the rings were given during the ceremony and appearances needed to be kept up with. wedding bands changing from more elaborate to simple bands identical male and female rings facilitated rings being bought both for the male and female separately or as a ring set. for a time engagement rings were simple silver colored bands and wedding rings were simple golden bands... during this time men often had engagement rings too... when engagement rings became more elaborate and ornate and costlier men stopped using them... also at issue is most traditionally male occupations bar ring wearing due to not being part of a work uniform or due to safety risks of the ring getting caught on something and a finger hand or arm going missing as a result. Those who follow the irish/celtic "Claddagh" ring tradition, usually both the man and the woman get a "Claddagh" ring as an engagement ring, and sometimes those rings also serve as the wedding rings as well and are turned a different way or a gemstone added to them after or just before the wedding ceremony, or the "Claddagh" rings are used in the engagement as a nod to tradition and modern style wedding rings or golden bands are used for the wedding itself. if i remember correctly sometimes there are 3 sets of rings... engagement/betrothal... ceremonial rings used only during the ceremony and possibly the honeymoon or first few years of a marriage... and then actual wedding rings or golden bands to symbolize enduring marriage after the ceremony or honeymoon or a certain anniversary i forget which one... sometimes there are promise rings as well before engagement rings ever come into play... so 4 sets of rings potentially... and sometimes couples exchange rings after a major milestone like the 25th wedding anniversary so potentially 5 sets of rings. again, traditions often get scrapped though based on personal preferences or especially based on wealth/financial circumstances.

@BradMcHelm 7 лет назад

Isabella Rhoslyn 5 rings!? "If you want it you should put 5 rings on it"!

@DinosaurwithRPG 10 лет назад

I am wondering, why is being "feminine" or "masculin" such an important thing, and something like, having long hair as a guy, or playing sports as a girl is so outlandish to America and probably other places of the world?

@YouShouldRepeatThat 10 лет назад

It really shouldn't be a huge issue but due to the way people were raised and how they grew up believing that one sex should do something but another shouldn't and such like that, gender roles became a thing.

@YumLemmingKebabs 10 лет назад

YouShouldRepeatThat Gender roles have always been a thing, how do you think people got raised that way? Originally this was likely just due to sexual dimorphism, but it has changed over time as human society has become more complex. Now days a lot of these traditional gender roles are somewhat obsolete, but people still stick to them out of habit, and/or a fear of being considered abnormal.

@YouShouldRepeatThat 10 лет назад

+YumLemmingKebabs with my statement, I wasn't trying to imply that gender roles are a new concept. I was trying to say how they are still learned and, in a way, enforced in modern times through ways such as being raised to think and believe that gender roles are necessary. Sorry for any misunderstanding from my earlier comment and hopefully this comment has cleared up that confusion. :)

@carolinejulstrom1302 7 лет назад

I feel like gender roles are a complicated subject given the fact that there are lots of gender identities and not everyone is cis. For most people it doesn't go gender role first, then personality, it goes personality that just happens to correspond to my gender identity.

@joylox 7 лет назад

In my intro to psych class today, we breifly talked about gender, but the prof said that it was so complicated that we could have spent a whole class or more on it. It is very confusing, as it is a spectrum. Like my boyfriend has some more feminine traits, and I have some more masculine traits, and I first asked him out. It really goes down to what the individuals are like and yes, personality.

@thereallantesh 7 лет назад

I wouldn't want one, but then again I wouldn't want to wear a wedding ring either. I find wearing rings in general annoying. If I were to ever get married I'd just get it tattooed on.

@PotionsMaster007 8 лет назад

in my culture we both wear engagement rings, men just wear a plain band, also we buy our rings together because when we date the end goal is to get married anyway, so a proposal is never a surprise. we also wear our engagement rings on our right hand untill the wedding day when we move them to the left, like the Greeks.

@yltraviole 8 лет назад

+PotionsMaster007 Just curious, where do you come from?

@PotionsMaster007 8 лет назад

I'm Coptic, basically orthodox Christians from Egypt.

@SteelsCrow 7 лет назад

I'm wondering if you're misinterpreting "engagement" ring and "wedding" ring. An engagement ring is given at the time of proposal, while wedding rings are at the wedding ceremony. Typically women end up with two rings and men with one. Though personally, I don't understand why us westerners don't just use the engagement ring as a wedding ring. Fewer objects to keep track of around the house, as well as the expense.

@PotionsMaster007 7 лет назад

nope we both wear an engagement ring and a wedding band. the guys just usually dont wear the engagement ring after marriage, if they do they keep it on their right hand.

@SteelsCrow 7 лет назад

Ah. Ok. Thanks for the info.

@melissamenchaca9121 10 лет назад

I gave my husband an engagement ring. We also had mutual promise necklaces.

@lilydalbkce3249 10 лет назад

Ooh, I like the idea of a promise necklace better than a ring. I keep thinking that I would lose a ring in an hour.

@melissamenchaca9121 10 лет назад

Oh goodness I hope you don't loose the real rings! Lol

@MavaPalava 7 лет назад

In Germany it is traditionall that bride and grom pick out engagement rings together. Both of them wear these on the left ringfinger as a symbol of love and commitment. Those rings are as simpel as the wedding bands but with the posibility of a small simpel dimant in the womens ring. Also the engagement is something both decide together and it is not just the man having to ask.

@YumLemmingKebabs 10 лет назад

Cristen, you always bring us the best weird random information and funny voices. :D

@twinklelight09 10 лет назад

Can you make a video explaining why jealousy is bad in a relationship. I'm tired of people thinking that its "cute" when their partner gets jealous over the smallest thing. Its an insecure trait and is lack of trust. It can lead to a very controlling partner and can get dangerous. Its hard to explain because they bat their eyelashes to it. I was in a relationship that my boyfriend told me I can no longer be friends with anyone. I immediately walked away and proud that I did. Jealousy can come from not just your partner but a friend or family member. Jealousy is a warning sign and I just want people to be safe. I will proudly choose be single and happy then to be in a toxic relationship.

@doctorwhofan1989 10 лет назад

Being jealous means you care. If I had a girlfriend and I saw her with someone else, hell yeah I'd be jealous. I don't want anything coming between the relationship. Relationships are hard work and need to be maintained

@twinklelight09 10 лет назад

booklover exactly it is hard work. To the point that you can trust each other. If you're jealous just because she's talking to some other guy and just want her to yourself. Then you're being possessive. A relationship whether its friendship, family, and you partner means you are to separate beings. There has to respect and trust. I never get jealous because I have to stop and think why I feel that way. Not only that but talk to other person about it. Not demand that person to stop talking to others. You have to talk and trust one another.

@IppityBippity 10 лет назад

booklover Jealousy HAPPENS, that doesn't mean it's healthy. Being jealous isn't "working on" or "maintaining" anything. If a person has good communication with his or her partner, they can WORK THROUGH any jealousy that has previously arisen. Jealousy is something to overcome, not something to giggle at and let happen again and again and again unchecked until the jealous partner feels he or she can no longer trust the other. Or worse, neither partner trusts the other.

@twinklelight09 10 лет назад

IppityBippity of course. Its okay to be jealous, its one of the deadly sins but when its over and over above jealous where I can't even talk to a dear friend then that's a huge warning flag and walk away.

@IppityBippity 10 лет назад

twinklelight09 Yes, that's basically what I was saying. Jealousy is ok, it's a human feeling, but people should work it out; not just accept it or mistake it for "caring"

@nowisgood4me 10 лет назад

When talking to my sociology professor, she told me that genderroles actually only started around the time childlabour was banned, because before that there wasn't much concern about childhood among poorer people, and aristocracy always had others to watch over them. It seems kind of logical, but I couldn't find any educational videos on the topic, I though this might be an interesting topic to explore for another video?

@VKingMD 10 лет назад

There have always been gender roles dating back to the hunters (men) and gatherers (women). True among the aristocracy traditional gender roles were somewhat absent, but they did have their own unique set of gender roles. While child rearing wasn't as important when children were off to work as soon as they were old enough, women still had domestic duties and filled a different role than men.

@nowisgood4me 10 лет назад

Can you point me to any studies, especially concerning the hunters and gatherers, because I always find it weird, that people seem to assume that this is were genderroles date back to, but can't show prove of that. Just the lack of data (not that many people from that time are found) makes me uncomfortable. Plus I find that hunting and gathering are very general genderroles, whilst taking care of offspring, cooking, cleaning, etc. is much more specific. Thanks for your answer! =)

@jjbmgm 10 лет назад

nowisgood4me scitechdaily.com/females-distinguish-colors-better-while-men-excel-at-tracking-fast-moving-objects/ Not god enough? www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/where-men-see-white-women-see-ecru-22540446/ Still not good enough? news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/09/120907-men-women-see-differently-science-health-vision-sex/ ... news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/12/061207-sex-humans.html "Some research has suggested that the practice of dividing labor according to sex dates back as far as two million years." Proof of women and men are different and women used to gather men used to hunt, a little process of evolution in there. I find it astonishing how people think men and women are equals we both have our own fields that we excel in... Absolutely agree women deserve the same pay etc... But men and women are NOT equal different bodies etc... just like every other fucking animal males are larger and stronger (for the most part) then the females, females are more maternal especially mammals.

@nowisgood4me 10 лет назад

jjbmgm Thanks, for the articles. I 100% agree that strenghts are different for different people, and gender is a factor, but it shouldn't determin my career options for me, e.g. I'm somewhat stronger than some of my male co-workers, still I won't get asked to help lift or move stuff, because I'm a fragile woman, and I always earn great applause for my strenght when I do help. I think it depends on the person and all the factor that make them who they are more than genderroles which seem to only consider one of these factors!

@VKingMD 10 лет назад

nowisgood4me Men are generally chosen for anything where there is a possibility of physical injury or loss of life or limb.

@vmmirandar2 10 лет назад

Here in Chile, there is this tradition of wearing rings called "ilusiones". Basically, when a couple is engaged, both man and women where rings similar to wedding bands. This is very typical in christian and conservative families as a way to show that the commitment between the parties is quite serious. The couple starts wearing these rings after a ceremony, kinf od a pre-wedding, in which the couple receives the blessing of their families and a priest which in turns makes their engagement "super" official. The importance of this ceremony, I believe, is that most of the times the couples that wear these rings they do so because they cannot afford a wedding right away. Obviously, there are also a lot of cases in which this is done by super wealthy and Catholic couples just a traditional ceremony before the wedding.

@anaterka231 7 лет назад

I've got my hands on a 1900's book, sort of How to get a girl guide, and there's this paragraph(rough translation ):" In this important act of engagement it is fiance's duty to buy a ring. Fiancee also gifts a ring to her beloved." funny thing it also states that one must not under any circumstances buy a diamond ring, because it'll bring bad luck and tears to the relationship.

@choirgrrrl1257 7 лет назад

I'm a gal, and I don't want a stinkin' ring, either! In fact, my husband and I have somehow been married 20 years without either of us wearing any sort of ring.

@rebeccaverlinden7203 7 лет назад

My husband very specifically requested an engagement ring when we were getting close to being engaged. HE thought it was ridicules that women got something and men got nothing. So while I was down in Mexico for my 18th birthday I had one specific quest: find an engagement ring. I ended up having it made from a silver ring, placing 3 square (on end like a diamond symbol) fire opals flush into the metal and engraved between them was "Friends * Partners * Lovers." He's very fond of it even now but it's interesting to note that I personally didn't want to have 2 rings so he gave me a custom pendant which I wear every day 8 years later.

@gameguy10694 9 лет назад

I love you so much! You are so funny, and your videos are so interesting. I can't stop watching them!

@leonardobelletti7985 7 лет назад

in my country we both use silver rings during our engagement, and gold rings in marriage.

@MaraMirOo2009 10 лет назад

well here in egypt and i think the middle east in general men and women wear engagment rings women's are golden and men's are silver ..they wear it in the right hands if they engaged and when married they switch it to the left hand even some weddings have a some sort of ceremony for the ring switching from the right to left hand :D

@jade5089 7 лет назад

for me, both my mum and dad wore an engagement ring. the believed that an engagement ring is just that, a ring to show one is engaged. my mum also proposed to my dad, as well as asked him out and asked him out for their first dinner. my mums a more of a, get what I want person

@DaaaahWhoosh 7 лет назад

I had no idea men weren't supposed to get engagement rings. Guess that's why women don't propose? But then what happens when a man proposes to another man? Who wears the ring? Is there no ring? Maybe this is the confusing stuff the homophobes were talking about...

@jade5089 7 лет назад

DaaaahWhoosh why not both? they are both engaged to each other, so, wouldn't both wear a engagement ring, you know, a ring that is worn to show one is engaged?

@feezlfuzzl564 7 лет назад

I know a gay couple who both wear their wedding bands on their middle fingers. That may be a big "fuck you" to those who don't want them to be legally married!

@_kimball___1826 7 лет назад

DaaaahWhoosh Whaaaaaaaatt? Fuck this shit. If I have to wear a ring and let everyone know I'm engaged so will my fiancé or no wedding. It will be EQUAL.

@pretentiousred6159 7 лет назад

If two men get engaged, they can decide wether the one who is proposed to is the one who gets the ring or they both get one. Mostly likely, they'll both get one. Just like if two women were engaged. It's verily likely they'll both get an engagement ring, but it can depend on the couple.

@alyg3044 6 лет назад

AJ's Journeys it IS actually. Gays and lesbians have a cultural habit of wearing a ring on their middle finger to signify that. For some it's a commitment ring, for some it's a community symbol. And now has spread out of the community through fashion. But some not so subtle celebrities in their glass closets sometimes sport rings that also match their very best friend ever! Gasp. Also, thumb rings are used that way.

@katiemacdonald7443 10 лет назад

Love your videos!

@Naaoomz 10 лет назад

Neither of my parents wore engagement rings. They actually only got married 3 years ago, after being together for about 20 years I think. They deciced together that they wanted to get married, planned the wedding and picked out the wedding rings together. Though I find this cute, mature and what not, I do believe there is beauty in an actual proposal. I guess it completely depends on the relationship you have, what works for you; a traditional proposal or a mutual ('about time') decision.

@lancerd4934 9 лет назад

Men generally haven't worn rings for fairly practical reasons. For working class men rings can get caught in machinery, causing injury or becoming damaged. For those in jobs where hygiene is essential like doctors, vets, and those in the food industry rings can harbour bacteria and for those in military service they reflect light and can give away a position. In the case of engagement rings, making two people each spend 3 months salary on a pair of rings before they can even consider getting married would do more damage to the traditional family unit than an entire rainbow army of homosexuals in their most flamboyant assless chaps.

@callumsedeman7878 9 лет назад

I agree: my dad wears his wedding band all the time but because he is a builder, he only wears a sapphire and diamond engagement ring when at home.

@kalliste01 10 лет назад

Engagement rings seem to be common here (Australia) and the bigger and more costly the better. Personally, I don't want a massively expensive rock on my finger and would prefer something a little more subtle, I recently found eternity rings and they seem like a beautiful combination of the two.

@alg11297 10 лет назад

Actually the idea of an engagement ring wasn't even thought about until DeBeers company found a load of diamonds in South Africa. If you watch old movies, or read old books, the only ring given was at the wedding. DeBeers wanted to shame men into giving a diamond ring as part of a status thing. So after that men had an engagement ring, a wedding ring and then their suffer-ing.

@pretentiousred6159 7 лет назад

alg11297 that's false. The idea that engagement ring had to be a diamond was a DeBeers ad campaign, the concept of an engagement ring existed before that.

@cOmAtOrAn 7 лет назад

Rings make working with your hands dangerous. Combine that with gendered definitions of what work to do, and it's not surprising.

@eggsnspam 7 лет назад

When I work in a machine shop, one guy told me he got around the ring by tattooing a "ring" onto his finger. Shows his devotion to his wife, serves as reminder, and keeps him safe he said. I've now seen lots of guys do the same thing. Haven't seen a woman do it yet though.

@Arkylie 7 лет назад

My mom worked in a Laundromat for years, and she wouldn't wear her wedding ring because working with electricity has a nasty habit of taking fingers off. She says if a man can't tell from a few minutes' conversation that she's married, she doesn't have much use for them.

@Rosi_in_space 7 лет назад

Climbing with rings is dangerous too; In Swiss Football league, a player once jumped up a fence to be near the supporters, jumped down to the field, but got stuck with his ring and lost half his finger, torn apart in a joint...

@sydneymokrey845 10 лет назад

My fiancé wears a ring, we are having a long engagement and it was completely his choice and idea, he bought both his and mine at the same time and not one person has questioned it.

@satuhahmo3093 9 лет назад

I'm finnish and here both men and women wear engagement rings. They're usually identical and simple looking. When we get married we get different rings but sometimes men choose to wear the same (engagement) ring when they get married. Women on the other hand always get a new and a much more expensive ring with more details. I didn't even know men don't wear engagement rings in other countries.

@colbybabcock5462 8 лет назад

I don't even want to wear my wedding ring. I work in the oil and gas industry and a ring is dangerous.

@jeremy59685968 5 лет назад

colby babcock get a silicone one.... if it gets caught it breaks before any damage can be done. And they are cheap

@MayaGasterMoll 10 лет назад

Men TOTALLY want engagement rings! At least... my husband did. He was suuuuper jealous that I got to wear a ring and he had to wait for almost a whole year to wear a ring, too. But that's partially because my engagement ring was a family heirloom from his grandmother; when we got engaged, it was a mutual decision that came out of a conversation, not a planned surprise proposal or anything.

@tararacine3235 9 лет назад

My ex and all of his family and friends wear/wore engagement rings when they got engaged. In some cultures, especially his Middle Eastern with Russian minority roots, men do wear engagement rings. They put them on the "other" hand before the wedding, and then switch it to the "correct" hand after the wedding. Obviously, wealth has something to do with this-- you need to have enough money to afford not only one (for the woman), but two rings (one for yourself as well). That's actually probably a big part of it; they all seem to buy more impressive male engagement rings with each new engagement, as if to broadcast to society that they are doing well. It also shows that they can provide for their soon to form new family. I think it's mostly in Western cultures that men don't wear engagement rings, but again, it's just pockets of some cultures (and you/your family has to be able to afford it).

@milissamackey7231 9 лет назад

The consensus among my friends is that men want engagement SWORDS!

@chickadeestevenson5440 7 лет назад

I asked my man out on our first date. Though it was more along the lines of "hey, we've got friends in common, maybe we should meet and hang out for half an hour"

@LexieAssassin 7 лет назад

I didn't know that guys didn't wear engagement rings. I mean, heck quite some months back a guy I know got engaged to his GF of 5 years and they both got engagement rings.

@thijsjong 7 лет назад

Does that mean I cant sleep around when I m engaged? Because the ring kind of gives it away.

@nanialba1126 9 лет назад

In Argentina both people are supposed to wear engagement rings, usually made of silver. And they're usually just bands, no stone involved.

@alexvictoria84 10 лет назад

I think the fact that the increasing acceptance of same sex marriage nowadays means that people are feeling more able to go against and challenge the traditional female/male gender expectations when it comes to marriage. I think we'll be seeing some pretty big changes with regards to this in the marriage/wedding industry in the near future.

@wsc31 10 лет назад

Neither my wife nor I wear a wedding ring and there was no engagement ring due to fiscal concerns (couldn't afford it). During the four decades of marriage we have bought each other rings as jewelry but not as designation of claim/ownership of the other. In most respects we are traditionalists, but not this one.

@VKingMD 10 лет назад

Thats so interesting (arousing curiosity) (holding or catching the attention)

@YumLemmingKebabs 10 лет назад

Seems like wedding rings can be handy. If nothing else they're a subtle way of telling people you're not interested.

@clarencecrunch9449 7 лет назад

Hi there, I really enjoyed this video, and i was wondering if you could do another one on the practice of 'stag' and 'hens' nights, and the culturally acceptable (encouraged?) trend of strip clubs and private sexually-themed performances or activities for the respective parties on these occasions. It seems confusing to me, why would that be acceptable behavior just before 'tying the knot' when its generally considered a bad (or terrible) thing to do when your in a committed relationship, as it kind of implies a lack of respect for your partner?

@sugarapplesweet 10 лет назад

I'm an engaged woman without a ring. I wear heirloom rings all the time, and I decided that I would rather wear those than a formal engagement ring. When we get married, it's likely we'll both get necklaces instead... if we get anything at all!

@edisonmichael6345 9 лет назад

I'm Brazillian and here both use an engagement ring (which we call "engagement alliance"). Unless she is the one proposing, the woman doesn't usually give the ring to him at the proposal, though. The most romantic or traditionalist couples exchange the rings with a few closest of family and friends gathered, in a semi-formal little party or dinner. The guy's engagement ring is almost always a plain silver, gold or platinum band, on the ring finger of the right hand, ALWAYS the right hand for engagement. It's exchanged by a gold band (rarely a white gold band) on the ring finger of the left hand at the wedding cerimony, always the left hand for marriage. This way you can get the marital status of any given man or woman with a glance. Some people here get really angry if you ask someone with a ring on the left hand if he/she is married. I got very confused when I first watched a foreign movie in which a married woman had the ring on her right hand, I tought it was a hint to something I wasn't geting or that she was, for some reason, trying to pretend she was engaged and not married, mwahahaha. Sorry if my English went a little too basic or even wrong at places, it's not my native language. Great series of videos, by the way.

@hedera1332 7 лет назад

To those worried about men wearing rings in the workplace, I got a special ring specially made for me for my 18th birthday. I have fluid retention in my fingers and they can get really puffy when it's hot and I am also really good at losing things, so I just wear it on a chain around my neck. This works well, as I can just tuck it into my shirt whilst at school.

@Xaksia 10 лет назад

In Denmark it is actually becoming the norm that both people in a relationship has rings, both engagement- and weddingrings. We sell a lot of "cheaper" silver ring pairs to young couples who get engaged, and mostly gold rings for weddingrings in the jewellery store I work in ^^ Yeay equality, or whatever :P

@gregorybrown4062 5 лет назад

When I got married I got a wedding ring. The fourth time my ring got smashed onto my finger, I stopped paying for the ring to be repaired. While working in emergency medicine I grew to dislike ALL jewelry. I've seen all types of jewelry cause permanent damage.

@mizuniki66631 10 лет назад

My fiancé proposed to me but he also wears a ring I bought him slightly after :)

@1997Mummi 10 лет назад

Good point!!

@maddhatter6551 10 лет назад

I always thought that since marriage is the share of life between 2 people that both women and men should get rings. It shouldn't have anything to do with masculinity but the sharing of love and life with the person that you want to be with for the rest of your life.

@BrandyBVB13 10 лет назад

My father wore his engagement ring on a necklace because he works in a factory and when he did wear it on his finger, his digit nearly got torn off!

@ajzebadua 10 лет назад

I think that if a couple wants to get married, both parties should be able to wear an engagement ring without judgment. That said, I don't believe in marriage so I wouldn't want to give or receive one in the first place.

@BlackHayateTheThird 10 лет назад

In Korea (I don't know about other Asian countries) and Brazil, people who are dating often get couple rings, and put them on the RIGHT ring finger, to symbolize they are dating. It's a big deal, and I've witnessed friends being confused if they have a ring on their right ring finger and being asked if they are dating.

@alyg3044 6 лет назад

A guy friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend and... we were afraid she'd turned him down when we visited and he still had the box and the ring. But he was over the moon. Beaming, he told us that she would only wear a ring saying "spoken for, bitches!" if he did too, so they were going to go ring shopping for him later. I found it adorable, probably because of how happy he was. It felt like "promise ring, leveled up" in a way.

@Zequire1 10 лет назад

Sorry about that last comment. It would seem my phone does not like various punctuation symbols in the RU-vid App.

@emilysavage2151 8 лет назад

Actually, once I asked my dad why he has a ring and my mom doesn't. He said he had one, but he didn't like wearing it because he was afraid he would lose it.

@dream2event 10 лет назад

How to adjust to college life? I am going to college (Auburn University!!!) in three weeks and will be over 600 miles from home! What is the best way to make new friends and not stress out? PS Love your videos, I have always thought it was strange men didn't wear engagement rings!

@SUNNY-BB 10 лет назад

Id want to be able to propose to a guy and give them a ring. my personal philosophy has always been that if you're interested in starting something (or taking it to the next level) you should just do it instead of waiting around for the other person to "properly" play their gender role in your favor.If I'm with a guy and I want to marry him I'm not going to sit around waiting for him to do it, i'm going to be the one giving chase so to speak.

@nateman332 10 лет назад

Actually yes! Even if I'm the asker an engagement ring would be much appreciated! I want something to remember a date like that as well!

@altghost5434 10 лет назад

engagement rings are over priced trinkets anyway. If I ever plan on marrying someone, I'm going to tell him upfront: Don't waste your money, lets go out to eat or something instead.

@Loreki 10 лет назад

I love when you do accents from the 30s no one uses anymore.

@mitchellm1451 5 лет назад

@ Carlene Louisa...i wear my ring when i head out of the house (no flirting around for me anymore) hmmmm ;)

@The_Lonely_Texas_Pagan 10 лет назад

If my wife-to-be would like me to wear one I would have no issues with it and would even assist in getting it, but I need a wife-to-be to even do that.

@TheBernas24 10 лет назад

Men do wear engagement rings where I live, too.

@wizzardwacs 10 лет назад

Is an engagement different to a wedding ring

@Saloron22 2 года назад

I want an engagement ring simply because I want to be seen as a man who is preparing himself to be with his future wife for the rest of his life. I’m proposing on Sunday and have been thinking of the oddity that men don’t have this visual queue of being reserved for someone else.

@JM-oo4ly 10 лет назад

yeah, I'm a gay male and I feel like it would just be kinda wierd for only one of us (me and my partner) to where an engagement ring, any thoughts?

@MrKangorilla 10 лет назад

I honestly didnt even know they didnt lol

@Acquavallo 10 лет назад

I didn't even know engagement rings were a thing. Is this just in the states?

@jeannellealfordjohnson2790 6 лет назад

I got my fiancé an engagement ring after we got engaged. I ran it by him, asking "if I got you an engagement ring, would you wear it?" He said yes if it was something simple looking, he prefers nothing flashy. So I got him a ring that's a simple silver band on the outside, but the inside surface has iridescent colors. He loves it.

@ShoeGod 10 лет назад

I'd want an engagement watch

@chrisrees7054 6 лет назад

NO, NO, NO! DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION

@jcd221 4 года назад

Yes I do because I find it pretty shiny on my hand and I don’t mind it being rose gold, but the real question is could man wear a diamond ring?

@gachzorge 9 лет назад

It's normal for both to wear wedding bands for the engagement in Sweden.

@bandotaku 9 лет назад

So, here's a question, if it becomes the norm for both men and women to receive engagement rings, what about the other partner? I never thought that the reason men don't wear engagement rings is, so it seems, because they are usually the one proposing, so they are then giving a ring to their partner, and not my original thought that it was just a societal norm that women wear rings, men usually don't. I'm not opposed to proposing to my boyfriend, if it ever comes to that, but I have also always liked the idea of having a ring myself, preferably he being the one to give it to me. So how would that arrangement work, assuming the other partner wants a ring as well? Would society just find a way?

@shantanupanda1650 6 лет назад

I for one want a big diamond on my left ring finger

@wheredidwendigo 10 лет назад

I'm a guy and I definitely want an engagement ring. Because I like shiny pretty things. I also want a wedding ring but I want an extra engagement ring because I'm shallow and want an excuse for more jewellery tbh

@gsherman83 10 лет назад

I was engaged years ago (the relationship didn't work out), but I didn't have any problem wearing a ring. I am allergic to metals, so my then-fiance made me one out of hemp. The only comments or remarks I received about it were positive. I'm sure some folks had other opinions, but those weren't shared with me.

@OmenaOmega 8 лет назад

Are engagement rings really still a thing in the US? I may be wrong, but in France I don't think many people get formally "engaged" beside maybe some religious people. Maybe I'm too young to have friends considering marriage though, at best they're getting civil partnerships. I'll see when I get into my late twenties...

@MsDanceDiva234 7 лет назад

They are definitely still a thing in the US, whether religious or not.

@_kimball___1826 7 лет назад

OmenaOmega Yes they're a "thing" in the US and we take them very seriously. It's not a religious thing, it's just fun and well.... you're letting people know you're soon to be married so why not?

@JimmyJimJimmer 10 лет назад

Wearing 2 rings on the same finger sounds uncomfortable and awkward, I just want one versatile and timeless ring to wear 24/7 if I get married.

@dylandrees6460 10 лет назад

I would definitely where an engagement ring but I can't even get a date so no hope there lol

@mitchelldubeau7006 10 лет назад

My girlfriend asked me out, and if she proposed to me I would not say no, although I would have the wedding wait until I could support a family(or if she could support one idc as long as we both have a house and are fed im good)

@roseteax 10 лет назад

We decided not to get an engagement because we just didn't want it. We felt a lot of pressure from people always asking about a ring but we still didn't get one because then it would just be to appease others

@Sharpener00 10 лет назад

Dutch men wear them

@luciasol2804 9 лет назад

Im from Argentina and the tradition here is different. Both men and whomen wear engagement rings and it isn't even that common to engage. I never heard of someone propossing like they do in american movies. It's ussualy a dessicion that the couple makes together, and sometimes there is an engagement party and rings but i think most of the times people just make plans and get married. Also engagement rings look basically like marriage bands though i think they are made from cheaper materials

@ashleyann9460 10 лет назад

MY fiance wanted an engagement ring because it had a batman symbol on it. It looks pretty awesome actually.

@sweetone1896 8 лет назад

I gave my husband an engagement ring after he gave me one. He has it put up somewhere and just wears his wedding ring.

@godbear2930 7 лет назад

I thought men did have engagement rings. This is news to me. There's 3 right. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and the wedding band right?

@xxYumiixxMimiixx 10 лет назад

When my husband and I got engaged both of us wore engagement rings (:

@mummy4569 3 года назад

The hell with ring, I want a watch.

@alexius23 10 лет назад

Comment on men wearing wedding rings. I worked in Construction on & off for over 20 years. In those trades most guys never wore rings to work as there were always stories about accidents at a job site & the ring would get snagged & the guy would lose the finger. As more women entered the Building Trades they too would leave their rings at home...

@aaps8814 4 года назад

That's not true. My grandma was married in the late 30s and her and my grandpa had wedding bands.

@MrJ567 8 лет назад

I'll happily wear a wedding band, sure. But engagement ring? No thanks. Just doesn't sit right with me, and I wouldn't appreciate being given one. With women, the engagement ring connects with the wedding ring. I'd just end up shelving mine after getting married and receiving my wedding ring.

@dracawyn 8 лет назад

+MrJ567 I've never understood the two different rings thing. My wedding ring was also my engagement ring. Same for my husband, actually.

@Athithan_2000 Год назад

If I put an engagement ring on my future wife, then she is engaged to me, but if she doesn’t put one on my finger, then I am not engaged to her, it’s like to be continued stage!