Why I Almost Took My Own Life in 2019 and Why I Didn't. - setting it straight. 

Hey Steve, This is your old college friend "Chris Richardson". Whenever you're feeling down, I hope you can remember the times we had at CVC. The days of having almost no money. Do you remember how cold Crockett hall was because they wouldn't turn on the heat until it snowed. You've grown so much since those days. Even on the bad days, you've grown so much, and you're an inspiration to many of us who knew you since you were a teenager. I 'll always be in your corner as just seeing your success has had a real, tangible impact on my life. The last time we spoke was at GP Indianapolis, you gave me some personal advice that literally changed my life. After speaking with you, I picked up programming, got a job as a software engineer. I've had a decent career, and a very happy life. I don't think I would have had either of those if we hadn't chatted nearly 20 years ago. I'm sure there are many people who won't take time to write a message, but I hope you know that you have helped many, many people. I for one am in the line of people who's life you've helped so much. Thank you... -Chris

Boogie, please believe me when I say this. I have been in your exact shoes I have attempted suicide several times in my life but never fully followed through with it. I eventually had family and friends to turn to and I also got the professional help from a Counselor that I saw two times a week. It eventually got way better. I have turned to your videos over the years and you are an inspiration to so many of us. We love you Boogie, don't EVER forget that.

I will never get tired of clicking on your face. ❤️❤️❤️

You've helped me through very hard times and still do. Thank you for everything.

Boogie just remember the internet isn't your only path. You can quit RU-vid. Move somewhere new. Find a different job. A different passion. A different pathway. It's never too late to change your life- it's a big world out there, and from what we can all see, the internet is not good for your mental health or well being. You can do this, man. You're not alone, and your life isn't ruined.

I’m glad you’re still here Boogie. You may not know us personally but you’re a big part of our lives. We love you man! Stay strong.

Hey Steve, I've been through the same things you have been. I have just completed my 10-week therapy course due to my suicidal, well pas suicidal and depressive state. Your videos made me have hope. Knowing someone on this platform with the size of your audience can go through things like this. It gave me hope. And I hope it gave others hope. I have had times where I have lost control over my own body, my own life. But I always had some sort of hope in the back of my mind and this was primarily you, and other content creators on this platform or different ones, that have or are going through the same problems I have had. So thank you for making a difference to my life, I am here for you, we are all here for you if you ever have an experience like this again. Suicide is NOT the solution. Talking about it is. Thank you Steve, -Lewis

Boogie. It breaks my heart to hear you go through tough times. I can't pretend to know what to do to fix things. But i want to tell you we care about you, buddy. Sending virtual hugs your way dude.

Thank you so much boogie for being here. You done so much good for the community and RU-vid and a whole, I’m so proud to be able to say I’ve watched you change the world for the best. Love you man

Hang in there boogie, gonna be watching this fully I'm glad you didn't 😢 Ive always enjoyed your characters and videos and have been subscribed since 222k when I was a younger kid

I'm glad you're still around, boogie.

Hey Boogie, I’m not so good with words but I want you to know I’m one of the people that never believed the rumours, I believe you are stronger than you know and I’ve always been a fan of these rambling videos you make. I also really enjoyed you talking on H3’s podcast so having your own might be really cool and definitely something I would be interested in! Keep on going man you can do this. X

Love you dude

I have had low times. Not so much to go as far to end it, but I highly respect those who can can come back from it. And I highly respect you for it mate. Always respected you and been here watching you for years. Love ya mate.

hey Boogie, I used to watch your content years and years back, and I found your channel once more through, oddly enough, TikTok. I’m glad I did, because I found this video. While your channel may be dying, which is extremely sad to say, you most certainly left a mark on this platform and I couldn’t be more happy to see you overcome the greatest of challenges your life has put you through, I’m proud. I’m really proud of you.

“Afraid what the future will bring.” Feel you. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming for me that I’m starting to spiral, but being afraid of the future is okay. The future is scary and with 17 I thought I would die young, but here I’m now, turning 29 soon, working on my master degree and having a wonderful baby girl, who brings so much happiness to me and my partner that I can’t believe how lucky I am. Yes, I’m still struggling with money every month and I will try to work on it and use my master degree to find a job I like, but one step at a time. 😊

God bless you man. I’m so glad you are still here.

I am glad your still around boogie you have made me laugh when i went through tough times a couple years ago

Boogie, I had my best friend take his life and that was such a heartbreaking time in my life. It warms my heart to see you decide not to go that route. You have many family, friends and fans who love you and are so glad to see you around to this day. Keep up the great work you do and whatever the future brings, we'll be there for you.

I've been watching your channel for over 12 years mate. You helped me through some dark times.

I remember you on one stream randomly out of nowhere saying that you were going to commit suicide on that day, your birthday. I realized then that something was up and you were going through stuff. Hopefully you've moved past those dark times.

I’m glad you stayed Steven. When all is said and done I can’t picture my lifetime without you in it bud.

Glad you’re still with us Boogie. You’ve helped open the door several times to some important introspection of my own over the years and I’m grateful for it.

I have watched you ever since you would talk about deep topics in a room with just a bed. A goatee, glasses wear white guy. I still appreciate and listen to everything you have to say today. I appreciate how open you are and what you do for this platform and myself. Thank you, see you next video

Glad you didn’t Boogie ❤️

"You have the power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." -Marcus Aurelius

I just want to say that my perception of you has always been overwhelmingly positive and you are inspiring as hell. Your story deserves to be heard and so many of us love you x

We love you Boogie. I couldn't imagine a world without your videos coming out everyweek, and being able to see your face in them anymore. ❤

Boogie we are all here for you ❤

I was struggling late last year and early this year, taking multiple attempts at my own life. Finding a passion was the main thing that helped me out of that hole. To anyone reading this, if you’re feeling down and need a friend, please message me and I will be there for you. You aren’t alone. ❤️

Thank you for letting us in! I've enjoyed your channel over the past few years and glad that you've shared your journey with all of us! Keep moving forward and don't let up!

I’m glad your still with us Boogie, I’ve been enjoying your videos for years. You’ve given so much good advice over the years, you should be proud of what you’ve achieved despite where you came from

Seriously can’t imagine a world without Francis, let alone my man boogie. Glad you’re still here with us bro. Stay strong, we love you and the content you make.

I almost did a couple times this week and my friends were here to help me they actually called the cops on me and the cops even helped me he told me to give me my phone number for he can check up on me and I’m glad my friends did this they are amazing people and are my family

Thank you for staying with us. I'm sorry I didn't comment back when I felt worried. I could feel the pain in your videos of going to your childhood home last year.

I'm glad you're still here, even if I become the only one, I'll always be here, you've always been one of my favorites because you are always open and honest about everything, you don't care about the money, you just care about helping people, you've helped me through a lot of my struggles over the years and I have been seeing a professional for the last few months due to my anxiety and OCD and it has helped a lot, please take care and remember, life is a beautiful thing, it may be complex and stressful at times, but there is nothing more precious then life. Thank you for all you do Steve

Boogie, I'm a few minutes in - I can already tell that this is something very passionate about. If you keep making videos you are passionate about - im certain that people will come back. Going to watch the whole thing man.

Thank you, Boogie, just for being you. This quarantine is hard for everyone, but it's especially difficult for those with mental issues. You continue to be an inspiration to keep on keepin' on. 😄

feeling that low is awful, I can empathize with you and I'm really glad you're still around, your videos always brighten my day, love you bro

Thank you boogie. I’m so glad you’re still here, you have brought many many smiles to my life

❤️ we all love you man! Thank god you are as strong as you are! Life gets tough sometimes and many times people don’t know what to do! Thank you for putting the resources for people struggling to use!

I know you probably won’t see this brother but you were, are, and have been a major inspiration to me. I was 600lbs a little over 2 years ago and am now 237!

July 24th is my birthday too, Boogie. I'm glad your still here. Your self- love and preservation is so much more important than what a bunch of mean jerks think. And your video's are talk therapy, cleansing and very important. I get it. Thanks boogie. ♥️

Glad your still here with us boogie! Thank you for all the entertainment! Looking forward to the next one!

Much love, glad you're still with us man! Life is some bs, and some ofus just have a rough time navigating sometimes... that's okay, as long as we work our way back to where we need to be eventually without giving up. A quick scroll through the comments shows me that there are many that love and care greatly for you, and like me, haven't seen the Reddit and Keemstar bs. I could care less about all of that. I just remember the guy who told a rediculously long joke about "State Lions" that made me laugh probably waaay more than I should have during a horribly dark time of my life and that little ray of light brought me back on track despite just being such a random thing. I will always be thankful for your YT presence and I hope even if you find other ways to make money that you at least keep some kind of vlog or something going for those of us that truly enjoy you for you.

Don't worry boog we will always be here for you if people can't see the truth through the lies they need to take a look in the mirror at themselves

You’re really brave to upload this, I understand how you feel, it’s really easy to focus on the negative when it feels so overwhelming. Just know that things will be okay. The people that are there for you are the ones that matter. Do what makes you feel the happiest, whether it’s RU-vid or not. Looking forward to seeing more of you and I’ll always be a supporter

I’m glad you’re still here boogie. I’ve been a fan of yours for years, and wouldn’t know where to get my nerdy news. Love you man

Recovery is difficult boogie, there's no one fits all solution, keep trying, keep fighting, loving your videos in the last few months, stuck with u through rough times glad to see you back making content you love again💙🐐

Boogie you’re a king. Hearing you speak is basically my own therapy. Don’t go anywhere please, you’re too important.

Much love, Boogie. Tuning in for every video you do. This one hit home. Onwards and upwards my friend ❤️

These types of videos were always my favourite videos of yours in the first place. Glad to hear you got more on the way! It goes without saying but you’ve been through a lot. But your pain is not a waste. These videos where you’re just being your raw genuine self and talking to a camera can do people a lot of good. They can learn from your pain. They can find comfort knowing they’re not the only person going through a certain type of pain, or honestly maybe people can find comfort in realizing that you’ve been through harder times then they have. Don’t let the haters change you, you’re an inspiration to a lot of us 🙏

This video is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you Boogie!

Boogie, I've been around since probably 09 or so. I remember watching you back in college. My friends and I LOVED your comedy sketches and loved watching everything you did. We still do. I know I haven't been keeping up with you over the last few years, I've been so busy myself, but I want you to know I'm so glad you got help. Please continue to see a therapist/counselor if you can. I can't express enough how mine helped me. I'm here for you. There are so many here for you. We love you and support you in any way we can!

Love you boogie! Thanks for being that light in this dark world we live in. Your fans, myself being one, are behind you 100000%

I'm glad you're still here. You're a creator ive watched on and off since i was incredibly young and witnessed online when you hit your lowest point. But when we hit our lowest point we are open to the greatest change. Keep going Boogie.

Thank you so much for everything you are and everything you do boogie. You’ve never disappointed me. And I don’t think you ever will. Thank you for the millionth time for opening my mind and my heart. Love you boogie

Boogie, I’m one of the people who saw through all the drama and believes in your heart. I’m so glad you’re here.

I’m happy you’re here with us boogie. I understand some days one feels like giving up. I too myself have gone through those times, time and time again. But no one in life lives with no hardships. And no one can do it alone. If you have no one to lean on, we your fans are your support. And are here to remind you just how much you’ve impacted our lives for the better. And how you too are just so special and amazing. Love from IL, may nothing but happiness and success come your way ❤️

Glad you are still here, and even if you move away from RU-vid I will still look forward to your new videos.

Boogie I love the positive changes you've made to your teeth. Your face getting thinner. You getting healthier. It gives hope to all of us we can change too. Thank you for being you!

Hey Boogie, i've been watching you for as long as i've known about RU-vid and I just want to tell ya that there's more to ALL of this than just what a few people negatively think of you, brother. We're all flawed and damaged in our own unique way but you gotta focus on the good and continue to work towards that. Yes, because you're a public figure, some will point at your flaws but keep in mind that they'll rarely take their own into account. Work towards not losing yourself in those moments. Yes, it's easier said than done, but it's worth fighting for when you consider how your life has positively affected others. There's just so much more to this existance than those negative moments so please brother, continue to correct your path, to grow and to learn same as we're all doing. Appreciate ya and those who support you will always be here. Love ya brother!

Wow, this was impacted! My son turned this video on tonight and I became cativated with your story. Your message was one of hope and love. And was the perfect message for my son. I admire you so much for your bravery to open your life up to help others. Thank you so much! I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to seeing more of your content.

Boogie, you’ve helped me tough times throughout my life. I really like to watch you. I am happy that you are still around :)

this is the kind of content I love and look forward to. thank you boogie. we’re in this together, I’ll be here for you no matter what. stay well. 🤍

This is deep, I'm glad you didn't go through with it.

I rarely comment on videos, however for this I will make an exception. Boogie, I have enjoyed your content for years. I understand and have seen you make mistakes, but please don’t let them consume everything you have achieved. We all make mistakes, through a recognition and an aspiration to do better, we can turn these into tools that can be used to help others while helping ourselves. It’s the video’s like these that really highlight your talents and are truely insightful/beneficial to people such as myself. I and so many other’s are grateful for your courage in recognising your past mistakes and sharing your experiences with suffering. It truely does resonate with parts of your audience and can be used to help people grow and learn alike. Thank you for choosing to continue life and push forward, as the alternative outcome would have been horrible to the many fans like myself who don’t always comment and show an appreciation. I wish you a prosperous and happy future where ever it may lead you.

As someone who suffered from depression and suicidal ideations for years thank you for speaking up and bringing awareness to this issue. Your videos helped me out when I was in a really dark place.

Boogie, I don't know how much this could help, but know that here there is at least one person that firmly believes that a world without you would be a worse place than a world with you. I am also sure a lot of other people think the same, so keep it up, buddy: despite what some might say, you are doing a great job.

You know Boogie’s still standing better than he ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid Boogie’s still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of his life without Keemstar on his mind

I haven't watched your videos in forever, but I'm really glad you're still here and I'm really happy for your transformation. You're one of the realest RU-vidrs out there. Talking about real issues and helping people, as opposed to just wanting the attention for their own monetary gain like the people who reported on this. All the best

This is truly beautiful. Glad you had the will to share this. DMT has changed my life as well.

I miss these un edited long talks where your just being you and passing on wisdom. I'll be honest I don't watch you as much now but you will always be an inspiration to me and others so please when your feeling down just remember you have touched so many lives. Also while the haters are louder there are still so many who love you. They might not make as much noise but they are out there. Stay strong boogie

There's no shortcuts in life boogie, you gotta be strong and even though u didn't make the best choices you gotta live with those choices, and make the best out of everything you got now, I never judge anyone because I'm not a hypocrite and know I'm not perfect as well as how others aren't either, will always support you and I hope you keep at it and strive.

I have been a fan for many many years. I feel like you're a part of my family and your videos have always helped me. Live you brother. I'm glad you're here.

seeing you keep on keeping on is literally the only reason i even open this damn youtube app. always glad to see you encouraging and helping us fight the good fight. we love you boogie. keep it up brotha

Suicide is never the answer guys ! There will always be people out there that love and care about you ! Never lose track of that because they will always be there for you !

Boogie: I did DMT... Joe Rogan has entered the chat. Glad your still here man.

Much love and respect to you brother. Your content has helped me get through some how the darkest moments of my life. I have found myself making Francis quotes and then everything didn't seem so dark. You have definitely brought a smile to this face. And heart. I love you. Keep your head up.

I may not watch your videos as much but I'm glad you're still around. I hope that one day you can finally find peace and happiness with yourself and whatever that means to you. Looking forward to more of these types of videos.

Hey Boogie, my name is David, and you might remember me by the comment I made on the Kermit singing impression (btw I was making a joke about the "next song" being true colors and I apologize for making it if I hurt you or anyone in your audience). And surprise, I was the same kid that I had met you at Disneyland back in the summer of 2019. well, here I am... still watching your videos and not even criticizing your videos or your personal life. It's sad of what I am seeing in youtube and on social media that literally people that are literally bullying and picking on content creators of what they should do or not etc. ; pulling their strings... I didn't know at the time when I met you at Disneyland that you were suffering inside without me even knowing. At the time I was shocked to see a famous youtube with 4 mil subs! (and adamthewoo having hundreds of thousands of subs and maybe a few content creators? idk). To me, meeting a famous youtube, even a famous person to me was a surreal experience and I was so happy sharing it with my family. I was grateful that I met any famous person to that matter and in my life... We all wish to go back to the simpler times of youtube and experience it while we can... but time goes and there has to be an end to this "life called a show" Don't ever give up boogie...:( I really do want to see your content again a little more... I appreciate and enjoy from you to the bottom of my heart. :) (P.S. I never got the chance to say hi to adam cause I was too shocked at the time, and can you say hi to adam for me? I didn't know if it was him or not.)

Boogie, I'm very much like you, I fought for so long that helping others is about the only thing that makes me happy and smile anymore, I'll always be there to care about you man, I have for years, please remember me at least when times are hard. I'm not goin anywhere and dream of needing out with you in person or hanging out one day. Love you man

Thank you for this, I just discovered you're old videos today and got curious. I'm so unbelievably happy you're doing better and this video really helped me with some things. Thank you for being you man, it means a lot to me

Hi Boogie, I’ve been a fan for years. Love you and you have my support. December 2019 I almost took my life, after several months of deep depression. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. I got help, and over time have learned to love life again. Thank you for reaching out and telling your story. Keep your head up, love you, Boogie!

This series should be called Boogie’s wise words as I feel a lot of these videos to spread awareness of many things I hope eveyone around the world is doing okay and that if anyone needs to talk to someone just know I am here.

Been watching you for years, still think you're hilarious and hope you get to where you wanna be, good luck with everything

I'm so proud of you for still being here, Boogie. You've come such a long way in just a year and you're just going to keep going up from here

I'm so incredibly grateful that you didn't take your own life. I know those struggles more than I'd like to admit. I am so proud of you for pulling through this and deciding to survive. The next step is to not only survive but to thrive, like I know you're going to do. It's always darkest before the dawn and things will continue to improve and get better. I love you very much!

i feel you, been going through that recently, i understand some aspects. your not alone.. stick around and keep making good content

it sounds harsh, but if ive learned anything from the hard times in my life, the only person that can truly help you is yourself.

I’m glad your still here for what it’s worth. Stay strong man even though I’m sure it’s tough a lot of days. Wishing you the best going forward.

I’ve been watching you for years boogie. You have helped me so much through my darkest times.

Boogie I am so happy you're still with us. You make me laugh, I have so many great memories of watching your twitch stream and laughing until I cried. Nobody is perfect man, thats what makes us human. There have been times in my life when I've been in a really bad place, and I remember you saying in a stream, "just get through the day, one more day", I say that to myself all the time now, just one more day. It works. I'm babbling, I'm just happy you're here man.

Boogie, your sincerity, desire to help people and genuine personality are showing again. You've had a lot on your plate the last couple of years with all the personal ups & downs; I'm sorry you've had to go through that and that it's been such a public affair. I had no idea it had been that bad for you. To be honest, with the recent content I drifted away but hoped you'd find your feet again. I wish it was in a happier context but this video does still remind me of the content you were putting out years ago when I first subscribed: selfless, genuine content set out to help your viewers by giving then the benefit of your thoughts & hard-earned life experience, with the amusing extras on the side. I'm really sorry the last few years have been so rough for you. It's great to see you found the strength to get through and come back to share the lessons you've learned. It's especially encouraging to hear you say that you realise the problems partially stemmed from not taking time to look after yourself and take a step back when needed. I hope you can carry that forward and find a way to continue to benefit others and be happier in yourself again. I'm so glad you found the strength to keep going and make this video. It's impossible to please everyone, and unfortunately even those who wish you well won't always be the voices you hear the loudest, but there's a lot of people across the world who appreciate you. There's no doubt you've helped a lot of people (myself included), with perspective, guidance or even just a laugh/smile over the years. Look after yourself and keep up the good work. Don't worry too much about the last couple of years, they're already behind us. The important part is what you take away from it going forwards. Wishing you all the best.

boogie, My name is Corey and I have been watching your videos since around 2012/2013, Your videos cheered me up through breakups and even some of my own depression periods throughout my life. I will always be one of your subscribers and just like many of your true fans that you will always have here for you, I will always look forward to see more videos and content from your channel, both for comic relief, as well as the videos where you just talk about yourself and the universe, thank you for being such a positive impact on my life.

I'm glad you're still here. I always get a kick out of your Francis videos.

I’m still here boogie, I’m going through some rough struggles (as are many in 2020) but you inspire me. I’ve got my own unique struggles and I sometimes feel too weak to keep fighting, but if you can do it I can do it. Keep on going boogie, I believe in you and in myself.

dislikes are from people disapointed he didnt go through with it

The worst thing about RU-vid is that these content creators can never know how sincere you are when you say, “thank you”. I needed to hear this, today.

I want to go back to school to become a counselor. I hear your story, others stories, and I can just sit and listen to these all day and find some points to relate to. I love listening and giving people comfort and an ear to listen to. Thank you for being so deep and honest with everything. This is just amazing.