63 years old and been single my whole life. I have come to the realization love really does not exist it is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Family and friends are more important. I find freedom is way better than chasing women
agree, i was thinking being in relationship will be the answer but i got a little bit bald in my 19s bc of love with someone else. So i was thinking maybe i want to be single forever not thinking or worrying anyhing, i just hope this is the answer for me finding peace.
Great Video! I'm 73 single all my life. It's a wonderful life. For me, it's been the freedom of choice. The key for me has been close friends and family. Enjoying creative Arts, hobbies, sports, Theater, travel, reading. But most importantly is being comfortable, happy being alone with myself. One of my pleasures has been after a stressful or busy day, I can come home to my Apartment/Sanctuary shut and lock the door and I can relax and be at peace.
Were we separated at birth LOL? I'm also 73 and perpetually single having retired on June 30, 1988. To me that was my last day of being an "employee" and transforming to a contractor. Employees are told what to do. Contractors are told what there is to be done. I'm still very active and love what I do. I'm a psychologist specializing in child disabilities. There's plenty of work out there for contractors and in my private practice to keep my mind sharp while I tread into old age informed, experienced and helpful. I completed all of my adventure travels before age 50, and am so glad I did. I visited 47 countries, lived a year in Vienna and two months in Egypt. I've backpacked through the Andes, ventured deep into the Mongolian Gobi, camped in the upper Amazon, visited every major art museum in Europe, and trekked into the Sahara on three ventures. Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass if I ever get on an airplane again. I've eaten well, maintained my health, and have a wonderful circle of family and friends. I've also received a federal art commission. How could I have done all of this if ball-and-chained to one who could divorce me at anytime if she felt options were greater with some dim bulb, big dick jock, taken most of my stuff, and left me with nothing but bitter regret? Fuck it!!! To my prime satisfaction, I'm content, well loved and respected, and I'm keeping it all. Cheers!
It is, it was harder before to "be" single. Like in the 1930s. If you had a apartment and you were " single"? You where Rich kind of. Other people had to live together.
@@BrightestLight5 They don't evict people here in Sweden because of lack of money! We have social security! All people can afford housing with or without money! And live alone, no cohabitation required! Only for those who not pay rent or get evicted because of disturbance.
I've just turned 40 and Decided to give up on Love/Relationships. I finally become comfortable with the fact it simply won't happen for me. As soon as Covid is done I'm off travelling!
I got married at 38, thought she was the “one” after dating many many… Ioved her and thought I would grow old with her! 18 years later, she just left 1 day with another guy. 3.5 years now, love myself and my single life, no kids, freedom and catch-up on things I missed the last 18 years. Plan to travel again after this stupid pandemic, may just live in Asia most of my retired life. Pretty sure I would not want to get married again.
@@deepdiver849 yes, I really dodged the bullet! I would have been “divorce raped”……anyways, 99% sure I would not get married again and planning to move back to Asia/SE Asia to travel, maybe retired there. Doing the things I’ve always wanted to do, just like the RU-vidr “Better Bachelor”!
I’m 39 single never been married, no kids. It’s a great way to live, have more time and freedom of doing what you want, living your dreams, and set goals for yourself.
I’m older than you and was single for a long time. I did meet someone and held on to the “shituation” for 2 years. Never again. I didn’t take to being controlled and used. Staying single. I have peace.
@RecoveryINK. baring "his" children? Arent they your children (both yours and his?) I'll never believe someone in a relationship telling me he is completely happy. Yes 7pm comes and you come from work and you should TALK with the person next to you (even though you talked the whole day at work), maybe even argue because 2 minds never think exactly the same While I come home its 7pm put my favorite music on, go out if i feel like, or call a friend if i feel like, or play some movie if i feel like. There is no one i should consult with if they wanna do the same. I choose. It's just me and its magical. And my friends are here but i dont owe them anything we only hang out if we want to. They want be mad if im too tired and just want to sleep
@@sunnyalley8051 I'm 55 and consider myself a confirmed bachelor. To me, there's not a woman alive that can make me happy. Women want to know everything about you, including how many sex partners you've had in the past. To me all a man is good for is to be used as an ATM for when they want money, or to be used as a fertility clinic whenever they want a kid so they can stick the poor shnook with child support payments, and in the event of a divorce, the guy always gets screwed by the courts. Not for me.
Same logic applies to having kids, my choice to not have children is just as valid as your choice to have children. No one every asks a parent to defend their decision to have children.
I don't think anybody is pressuring or shaming if that is the case that's wrong but people genuinely care they want to see with someone, so you can share moments, passion, love with someone. If you are fine with self love then there is no need to be with another person. You absolutely do not have to justify, as much as those are in a relationship have to justify anything to anybody. But if you have questions yes of course you can ask each other as there is no silver bullet, each type of life style has tread offs. I don't believe in trolling but I am going to repost the same comment because it applies to the whole video.
@@johnballard6725 Do you live with this dude? ALL SINGLE PPL IN THEIR 30s, 40s, EVEN IN THEIR 20s HAVE TO BE ASKED THE SAME FREAKING QUESTION, looks like you are living under a rock all these years.
My friends that are married envy my single life. If I want to go biking the whole weekend I am free to do it. My married friend has to escort his wife to the mall the whole Saturday. Yikes.
You never will understand until you are much older, and realize then being different than the “follow the crowd” mentality, or “majority rules” is the root cause. You are in same boat as children too young at the time when parents say “when you are older”, we will tell you. Anything good you achieve outside of the group will always be destroyed, never celebrated except rejected, unless you fail. In other words are not successful, as they are. Same goes for the usual vices like smoking, drinking, gangs in my time, shex, drugs, tats, all shet like that. Though the older you get you will see your contemporaries lives and how they really live. And forget being friends with your married buddies, she ain’t having it. Acquaintances perhaps. In the states, better understand the laws involved, don’t know anyone who does, at all. Serious consequences life altering right there. Good luck.
The darkest most lonely moments I have experienced in my life were when I was in a relationship. I have found so much peace being with myself and focusing on my goals with no expectations of others. Thanks for the vid, couldn't have explained it better.
I am much happier by myself, in every way. I always felt like I was loosing myself when I was in a relationship. After working all week I ended up doing THEIR hobbies, NASCAR, Harleys, horses. I like my freedom, Not always having to fit someone else in! No drama. Do what you want. Make your own smarter financial choices. Relationships a lot of times will hold you back.
I'm 46 been single 95% of my life. Wasted 4 years of my life on a few relationships. Total waste of time. I'll never go back. I have way too many interests and have no problem keeping my own company. I love being single and love being stress free. 😁❤
65 and single, wasted a number of years in my early 20s in a bad relationship with toxic woman. never do that again, no g/f no dating, celibate. single is the way to go. workout, eat well, love yourself, travel the world. no stress, i sleep when i want no stress etc.. STAY SINGLE GEMTLEMEN!!
I’m 49, never married, and single as of a few minutes ago. I thought I had finally found “the one” who loved me and I just had my heart ripped out of my chest. I’m very grateful for this video.
I was single for over 20 years too. Then I met someone who turned out to be very selfish and used me until I had enough and left. Single now for 2 years. I’m staying single. Enough BS from other people.
Im 52 never married or kids by choice, I knew when I was in my teens I never wanted it I make a decent living $60K a yr plenty for me however, I invested in myself young. I will retire at 55 with a mid 7 figure bank account and a 10K a month rental income flow...Stay single guys.
Single and very happy! Don't need anyone. Never had a gf and thank God for that. Never had parents too. I have learned to make me happy every day since the age of 6. Why complicate your life? Being in a relationship with myself is the best thing that ever happened to me.
32 years old here (people think I'm in my mid 20's). Single forever, never had a girlfriend. I play Bass, write music and I am in good shape. It is great life. Thank you for the insight.
When u turn into your 40’s or 50’s, u might still look like in your 20’s - living with less stress and no need to please another person ages u a lot slower. 👍
I am 47 single no kids.I love it, I travel and do self care. I love children and the idea of marriage. I just have not found a good partner that’s values match mine. But that’s ok, if I do find a partner I am well rounded and emotionally available. If I don’t that’s ok, I contribute every day to making society a better place🌸
Same position here. Its great being single although I leave the door open to meeting someone...not wide open, just a crack. But generally I am very content with myself although I crave human touch now and then, but that's the trade off I suppose.
Same here, I'm 30 and single man...havn't found someone yet who match more or less the same values as mine...I'm focused on my career for now. But if I do meet someone who is comfortable with me and understand each other, then I'll take my chance...Being single for so long, I discovered many aspects about myself and learnt to find my happiness, besides I have matured a lot and improved my personality.
I burnt my hands attempting to start a relationship. All the women I dated and I tried to start a relationship throw me like garbage. I think being single is something you should be happy and proud of. There is no such thing called true love. I realized it won't happen to me. Love yourself!
Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve together problems they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
Well said. I'm not worried about dying alone. Everyone dies alone! I'm worried I die without living first: without being brave enough to walk my own path.
I wish I didn’t feel any shame. But I do. I’ve never dated. Like ever. I know I’ll be single forever which I’m fine with, I have fun all by myself. But I still feel great shame. Argh.
I see my dad everyday at night he relaxedly sits in the backyard on his rocking chair smoking cigars bcoz I clearly see that mom frustrates him everyday & I know he is not happy but still they have been married for 40 years and its a love marriage now so Is he happy to be married - No bcoz I clearly see on his face and sometimes he also keeps telling me do whatever you feel son enjoy your beautiful life, be stable & love yourself first, that's it and i'm 38 years old still single and happy bcoz of my dads words😁
Absolutely. I married @ 47 and divorced @ 51. It was unwise. Not sure why I did it. I love being single and celibate. So much easier to be friends without the emotional messiness. I don't hate men but think our culture creates unrealistic expectation for both sexes. I am reasonably attractive and am comfortable financially. I long for deeper friendships with people that have the same values. I consider friendship a high honor
"If you are not a happy single, you can never be happy in a relationship." My neighbor urging me to marry now that I'm 32. I don't hear him anymore I think he got kicked out by his wife. Seeing them, I am now determined that getting married is a curse on paper and alimony.
Personally I don't see that marriage has to necessarily be a curse just because it's a curse for some people. Just as being single doesn't have to be a curse even though many people find it to be really challenging. Perhaps it's worth giving up on the idea of curses? Check out this article on Ideapod: ideapod.com/heres-great-explanation-karma-really-means-can-improve-life/?ref=2
Good point. I stayed single my whole life. One of the reasons I never even dated was a drank like it was going out of style. I would have brought my girlfriend down with me! I did get help for drinking eventually, though I’m in a relationship for 10 plus yrs. since 2011 I knew I met my match and she truly loves me so I can’t just pack up and leave her. It is just selfish to only think of me all the time. I’m committed and will stay with her until the end of time. Being in a relationship isn’t for everyone.
Yay! I'm 47 and have never had a relationship. Interludes never worked out and I'm glad. I'm so relieved to find like minded people at last! One of my friends believes you can only be happy with someone else and my being alone is telling men to f*** off. She has always said I'm closed off, yet I have beautiful friendships with men and women that are more soulfull than marriage is. Suffice it to say she is not a close friend anymore. Thank you for this video 👍
@@dominicusbenacus because we have tech now. I go to bed alone every night and don’t feel alone, because I have my phone. I watch endless content, or text/call friends or family and before you know I’m yawning and ready to knock out. If this was happening in the 60’s, I would just be left to my thoughts and probably feel very lonely.
I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship.Truly good relationships where you feel secure and aren't worried whether they are cheating on you is few and far between!
Pre-quarantine, I never would've thought that at 21 I'd be choosing to be single. But here we are..... and I LOVE IT. I seriously don't feel the need to get in a relationship at the moment.. I just want to fulfill my career goals and be happy!!!
I'm 51 and have been single for 7 years. I was in a long relationship from 15 - 30 years old, but he wanted to get married and settle down at 30, and I just KNEW it wasn't for me. In the intervening 21 years I've had 2 serious relationships of 3 or 4 years. The rest of the time I was single. I was not remotely interested in marriage and the societal pressures to marry; also never interested in the typical role of the mother. It was interesting to me, that despite telling someone who I am at the beginning of a relationship, most men I dated eventually DID want to settle down and have kids! Both times was a big waste of my time, when that came up. I'm sure they assumed I would 'mellow' or change my mind. I still, however, seek an enlightened, child-free, fun, adventurous life partner! I do miss companionship and closeness.
Thanks for sharing, Sarah! I must say I think it's reasonable of one partner to try and convince the other to join them in a particular life journey. Just as it's reasonable of you to choose your own path!
Sarah, it's encouraging to hear from a woman with this perspective, it's normally portrayed as the negative traits of most men. I'd be interested to talk more, are you an IdeaPod tribe member by any chance?
Same here. And I'm a woman too.I say from the start "I NEVER want to be married". And they agree, assholes. Then, they act nice and attentive for years, luring me to fall in love, saying they don't care for marriage and just want my presence in their life. Once I fall in love and grow a bond with them, they switch their bait and give me an ultimatum "either you marry me or I leave". Such a sudden heartbreaking blow! They strung me along with false future faking all those years. How could they forget that I said a million times that I never wanted marriage? I should have put a tattoo on my forehead that says "NEVER WANT TO MARRY" so that every time they see me, they are reminded of that truth and think hard if it is worth wasting our time and breaking my heart.. This is ridiculous for how long they play the game....
Most important point in this video .Being alone forces you to confront the flaws in yourself and also helps you to learn more about who you really are and what your true desires are. I believe this helps you grow and become a more complete individual.
I've always felt more myself when single. I get people saying to me 'you just haven't met the right one yet'... Honestly, I don't think it's that at all. The issue is I am too nice of a person and a struggle creating boundaries and I think it's a massive sign that I need to focus on myself. I've always been unlucky and I'm not talking one about one or two people, like I've probably gone on dates with about 6 people and all of them have used me. Surely atleast one of those would have atleast been a decent person and this just tells me it's not meant to be. Maybe I am wrong but I need to take time out just to look after myself and focus on self growth first atleast. I rely too much on others and I just want to become strong first.
You’re not alone. I got married at 23 and divorced recently at 26. My choice, and that was because she was terrible honestly and I became more of a shell of my former self. Long story short I’m feeling more like myself again and I consider myself a very kind person and have this same mindset as you. Take care of yourself and share your love with only those who deserve it.
Relationships are just not worth it. One thing that I dont.understand is how someone can try to impose their beliefs and values of relationship on me because they can't stand to see me be single and happy so they would rather I get into a relationship to where I can be controlled and miserable. Most people who Date and get involved with others just want control. I can understand if people can't be alone or just want relationships and that's fine. But they don't have a right to infringe on others with their irrational thinking just because they are too weak and insecure to focus on themselves.
yeah, being single is awesome, the infinite freedom, chasing ur dreams, building yourself, finding ur passion, finding ur own happiness! Happiness is man's ultimate goal -Aristotle
55 and single. I ve had big relationships and on my own last four years. When I am single I have the most breakthroughs and personal growth. Relationships are a choice. Choose wisely. The ultimate challenge has been living alone through this insane pandemic. If you can do that, you’re made of strong stuff! Love yourself!!! 💟☮️
No justification needed. Being single is the happiest state for me. No need to compromise, freedom to do whatever u want. My mind is my best friend, n it will stay w me forever (unless i get dementia, but hopefully not). Love is probably a long shot for someone who enjoys getting absorbed in their own world. It is really difficult to find, i agree. I honestly love just listening to my mind think.
They say, being single is just being selfish...sharing your life with someone else is ..having to be giving and loving....but it has to be equal and respectful....this man is honest.
I love being single it so peaceful. 90% of the couples I see are toxic it just comes out in different ways. I have only seen a handful of relationships that I can really say, those people are meant to be together and they work well together. Everyone else is just putting up a front but dealing with a lot of BS behind the scenes.
I'm 61 and although I have been engaged 3 times and even have a daughter but I could not get married and have chosen to stay single and happy .Marriage is not for everyone .
I’m 46 & have been single most of my life. Being in a relationship is not a necessity in my life because I love my freedom. I’m working towards financial freedom to help myself, family then travel the world to see what’s out there & learn different cultures.
Oh gosh, I agree with you SO much. I am a female who was married once and then we divorced (we are still friends), had another long term relationship ( he passed away), and then ANOTHER long term relationship (he disappointed me…let’s just leave it at that). I own my own condo, have a good job and support myself…and during COVID isolation these past couple of years, I have realized I like my own company and want to remain single. It feels SO good to do what I want to do and not wonder if someone is wondering where I am, what I am doing, or worry about checking in with someone. I am sure there are good men out there (although they are hard to find) but I don’t need a man. I will enjoy dinner out with a man, etc. but I value my independence too much to compromise any more. I feel strong, independent and I value me. Problem is society. People tend to “pity” me… with comments like “oh you will meet someone” etc and I feel like if I say “ I want to remain single” it comes off as defensive. I wonder if my family and friends really believe me when I say I am happy alone. I wonder if deep down they believe no one wants me. Ugh. It is such an awkward situation. I have looked for forums, or podcasts dedicated to people who are single. But most of them talk about single as a period of time UNTIL you meet someone. Soooo frustrating. Wish you would start a podcast. Singles UNITE!!
I wish more and more people aware about how amazing being single is. I’m not saying that being with someone (as couple, husband-wife) is bad or anything, I just want people to NORMALIZE if someone choose to be single in life.
chin up find strength in yourself through doing things /activities you love. or help others : there is so much meaning and fulfillment in that. i cannot speak to what it must be like in you position but i can say you have one life and living in fear is an awful way to live. once you realize your own power - peace will come naturally. be willing to be open to the unexpected and non typical experience and expectations of happiness or better of being content and at peace.
For me after being married 3 times and now single,.. I never had experience so much joy that being with me.. and discovering who I really am and I love it. I think it's my first time I can be really free....
I'm 35 years old and I love bring single love my peace love that I can go wherever I please love that I can travel the world whenever I want don't have to deal with the headache of being in a relationship never been married don't want any kids I just love me and im thankful that I have a good job own place I'm saving money don't gotta worry about a women asking for money the child support none of that headache love that I can make myself a better person each day and love my freedom
41 and a single guy. This is great honest content. The more this kind of message is put out in today’s society the less guys like ourselves will have to have to answer nauseating questions from those confirming to societal norms.
Good video. I'm 38 and apart from some brief interludes I've been single for more than 15 years. Nice to know there are so many others that are single and ok. I'm the same, I rarely want to be in a relationship but the very occasional times I meet someone that I consider a relationship with it never works out. I'm pretty sure I'm better off single, but have the occasional doubt. I think we should create some kind of single and ok community, I think it would help us and others accept it and feel good about our lives if you don't already.
I'm 28 and struggling with my single status. I'm happy most of the time, but I have been feeling a lot of pressure recently to get married. Definitely not helping my anxiety
I agree. Don't rush into something just because you're feeling pressured by someone. That's almost guaranteed to end in disaster. I do understand the feeling of being lonely. I've been single most of my adult life. For me life has not been a real positive experience. I've watched my friends and family meet people and start families of their own. Which please don't get me wrong. I'm very happy and proud of them for it. They truly deserve to be happy. I pretty much just keep to myself now. They do invite me to do things or go places with them because I think they feel sorry for me. Which I do really appreciate. I just feel really awkward. Kinda like the extra wheel. Years ago when my mom was still alive. She'd always tell me that there was someone for everyone. I know now that was her way of trying to make me feel better. I truly hope that you find a good person who will treat you right and love you for you.
@@jamesnorthup7717Why would they say that? I don't know how old you are, but maybe it is a smart decision in your opinion. However not everyone who is single enjoys it. In my opinion. What is the purpose of being alive if you're constantly alone. In my opinion. That's not living. It's just existing.
@@jaredharbin5968 You could say the same for those in relationships. You think they’re happy. Years of life experience and wisdom will teach you. Unless you’re one of those individuals that needs someone else to validate your existence.
I'm 44 with no kids to any of my ex girlfriends and I new when I was 17 or 18 I didn't want to have kids. At my sister's weddings I never had any pressure from my family to settle down. I've been single for about 15 years now and loving it. I agree with everything you said in this video 👍
Justin, Yes! thanks for posting this video. I turned 40 this year and have for the most part, been single the majority of my adult life. I've dated etc. but nothing ever quite fit or stuck and I'm so sick of society looking at us like we are the weird ones. I've struggled with wondering what's wrong with me at times but after 25 years of dating with no real steady long term relationship luck, I have now, for the past few years decided just to allow myself to accept that being single is just an alternative option! I've traveled the world solo (female) and I'm a strong independent woman and that's not a bad thing! Yes, I like men and still pursue romantic relationships but I've gotten to a place where I've put aside the "goal" of finding "the one" and needing to achieve the whole white picket fence fairytale ending we all grow up with examples of. Its time for singles to speak up and start showing others examples of how people can live their best lives and be single and still happy. Its not easy to choose to be single because its seems so hard for the majority of society to understand but I say do it! Be single, have fun, and live your life the way it works for you!
I genuinely don’t understand why as humans we feel the need to be in a relationship. We arrive in the world alone and leave it alone - the only thing we need to do is reproduce. I agree with you that “Hollywood” portrays an image that the younger people are drawn into and few they must have. Great video and though provoking 👍🏼
Because that’s how our ancestors live in groups of family and neighbors hunting and gathering Together for survival humans are social animal , we don’t really arrive alone we experience the world alone but there is always a benefactor or a parent
Even the notion of the must continue human race is odd to me. Who says human race absolutely must continue? Universe is vast and possibilities endless, if humanity ends, it's probably not the worst thing that can happen.
@@randomnumbers84269The destruction of human civilisation is not the worst thing that can happen at all, yes. But since most people (not sure about the percentage 😂) identify as part of the human race, they instinctively want it to continue...Simple as that.
I turn 23 tomorrow and I’ve been single ever since I was 19. It’s great!!! I have so much freedom. I can travel and do whatever the hell I want whenever I want. No more constant stress/ headaches of “is she cheating on me, did I mess this up, and everything else that comes with being in a relationship. I do hope to finally meet someone special one day, but either way I’m happy as can be!! :)
Great content Justin. I'm 29 and I live in India where society just pressurize you so much to marry by a certain age. It's such a pity because the basis of marriage should be love and we shouldn't force it just for the sake of it. I've loved being by myself and I do plan to carry that on. Your video gives some lovely insights. Thanks!
My problem with relationships is that they become distracting and too much work to maintain. I've been single for over 10 years and I'm loving it. I'm only 36 and I'm close to achieving my dream and I was able to get this far by avoiding relationships. Some day I will get a relationship, but for now I'm happy being single and I want to enjoy it while it lasts 🙂
Except that good quality men want a woman who is young and fertile with a very low body count. Relationships are not difficult for women, because men are not hard to please. Just be nice and pleasant to be around. Don't be argumentative and difficult and you will have a happy relationship. It's really that easy.
I just turn 40 I just came to the conclusion that I never gonna experience that type of “love companionship “ and am okay with that I had learn over all this years to enjoy my life solo and building a net of friends
I’m 39. After a lifetime of always being in relationships including 15 years living with 2 different men, I’ve been happily single for 3 years and have become the best version of myself!!! I’m loving every minute of it and feel fulfilled. I am not missing anything and have accomplished so many things. Finally on the road to my absolute dream life, I’m already mid-way!!!
I HATE when I'm with a group of people, maybe coworkers or friends and they just bring up their dates that they've been to. And they always look at me and tell me "what about you?" And I just simply state "I'm happily single" and they all laugh. Even when I try to explain myself, they continue to laugh. Like I dont understand why choosing to stay single is such a bad thing? Choosing to stay single doesn't stop me from talking or sleeping with woman. Idk why they get this idea that I'm a "incel" or something. It's really annoying. Society is annoying.
Been single my whole life & never ever in my whole life had sex before. Honestly I have no idea how to be in a relationship at all, no clue what so ever.
@@待明歌 Get a job , spend less, save more, invest in something you're passionate about! And Remember most of the Billionaires were Bankrupt in early days!
I am 73 and never married. Stopped dating at age 40 since it was such an obvious waste of time. As the years went by, marriage seemed to be such an obvious sucker bet that I wanted nothing to do with it. Women have become so awful and yet seem to believe that men just have to put up with their awfulness that it is almost comical.
@@sallybutton6237 You seem like quite a stupid person looking at things like that. Let's see if you are even bright enough to answer this question since you talk about the past : would you rather live the role of a seaman who risked drowning before the age of 35 or his wife who would take care of the house and children; or a coal miner who often would slowly die of lung disease or his wife who would work in a shop, or a soldier in the first world war who could get serious permanent injuries and even die, or his wife who taught school? My guess is that you are so stupid, that you will either not answer or just ask another question.
Been single since 2018 after a 18 year relationship and 3 children. Dating is awful , emotionally draining and not fun. I love my independence , my eldest is 21 ,my youngest is 13. I have accepted that I may not find love again and incredibly grateful and fortunate that I experienced it when I did.
i am so annoyed by people asking me "why are you even single?!" like something was wrong with me. I am a 31 year old woman. My last relationships turned to shit plus an on/off relationship for 7 years. I needed a break to find my center again and focus on and find out what I really want in my life. I am tired of being in a relationship just to be in a relation ship. I am happy / good on my own. I am looking forward to my next relationship because this is going to be someone I choose with open eyes.
As someone who has spent most of his adult life in long-term relationships, I am now thrilled alone and not even seeking to date. I am now 42 and have realised nothing lasts forever, and you should put the time and effort into yourself. I am in love with adventure and a newfound love of photography and seeing the small beauty of the world. I have time for all my hobbies. I choose my own schedule. I am starting to travel alone and love it.
I am 36, have Asperger’s Syndrome (an autism spectrum disorder), and I cannot figure out friendships - much less relationships - for the life of me. Not to mention I have been employed by the same company for 11 years now, but I barely make enough money to support myself and my basic needs, let alone have money to pay for dates and/or support a family.
@RecoveryINK. FYI, this is my 6th job with the same company. I have had 5 other jobs, just all the same company (they like to hire internally). I have another job possibility with my long time employer which is at least 50 cents/hour more (which I need to cover rising housing costs), so this is pretty much the same pattern I have been living for the past 11 years and two months.
50 yrs old, single. when at 25 a cancer took away from me the possibility of having kids, i had to make life decisions. I decided to not follow the societal path ( i could have, married a woman with kids, or adoption, but did not want to "force it"). Well now at 50, i feel something is missing, the kids: that s probably why i became a great teacher and kids of all age see me like an guide, an oncle, some even a missing or extra parent. Despite all this, i gained something extra that many of my married friends envy me. A freedom that allows my life to be an adventure everyday. And it is a real bliss, i wouldn t change a thing! I am glad i stumbled on that video, i dont know who you are, but i guess in real life, we would have become quite good friends.
When I was in high school I was perfectly happy not being in a relationship. Despite peer pressure, I occasionally tried to fit in by forcing myself to be with someone and although it wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, I ended up hurting some people because of it. Number One, I was too young and immature to even consider being involved emotionally with someone. Two, I suffered from abuse as a child, so I needed to heal. Now, I am an adult, I’ve made the mistake to listen to people and society as they believe and teach that to truly be Happy, we must be “married” but far from it. I actually got caught in the web, but I’m finally free from it. I’ve only been single for four months and I’m perfectly happy. Yes, I have moments were I fear being the old lady that lives with 20 cats, but What I fear most is being in a relationship where I am miserable just to please my relatives. So if anyone is reading this and you can relate in any way, do what makes you happy.
Hey i must say whatever you said i totally agree with you!! i have been single for 5 yrs now! I can't say it's been very awesome thing to do it's just that i don't want to go through the emotional turmoil anymore. It's just that if you don't think you can handle all the emotional drama when being in an relationship then avoid it. It's not absolute necessary. You Can live with or without a romantic love!
The periods where I've been single have been some of the consistently stable and happy times. I've just found myself single at 50 recently and I genuinely feel good.
27 and still single. To be honest - it was so painful chasing, or running. Even being stable in 'relating' its an everyday process and changes all the time - so who are we and who do we really think we are in love with. Once I was single long enough I cut through the illusions, the pain I was ignoring etc. I didn't want to capture anyone or them me. I am happy to meet someone, to trust them (even if we disappoint each other), I am happy to give and partner with someone for however long it works. But I am not going back into limerance or lust, all but for a fling perhaps. I know that it isn't everything as you say. I am free to just be present with people, to feel, to let go, to care. We are all one but we are also sovereign. There are too many conditions. I also love the wonderful moments with people. This message is so important. Yes fear comes up being alone, being 'lonely' as you say - but I know that's just emotional pain that will filter through. It would be there anyway. This is life. The 'search' is elsewhere. Life is tough.
I needed this and all the comments in this section. I've come to realize after I broke up w a situationship that I am just meant to be alone. And I am already a survivor from rare medical issues so I know I'll be fine by myself along w my family.
Great content, thank you. I'm 37F, entrepreneur, and my current relationship is breaking my heart because it's dying. The person in question has covertly abusive and manipulative traits and I feel like although I don't want to jump into the dating pool - maybe ever again tbh - I don't want to feel the sadness, disappointment and anxiety I am experiencing anymore. Being single is probably better. You have to look at the ROI on your investment - not only in business.
Same. Im a 40 yr old female, never married, no kids. I have been out of a toxic relationship for 7 months now. I feel too exhausted to get back into a relationship right now. Ive been enjoying the relationships I have with my family and friends.
In society even now if you do not form an exclusive relationship with another and eventually bring children in this world you are judged as selfish as putting yourself first and rejecting others, also if a person is not one of a couple after a certain age they are seen as deficient in some ways,something is not quite right with them,they have some kind of "personality" problem,they are inadequate because they have not "caught" a mate.In the fifties when I was a girl I even heard it said that it was a shame a woman was not married,better a bad man than no man at all,some even said,when I say "a shame" it really meant that the shame lay with the single person,yet women lost their independence when they married,for the most they had to give up their profession and hobbies to become a "housewife" if not you were selfish and definitely odd.Bad marriages were not mentioned,if you had children and abused them you certainly were not called "selfish" you had given birth and accomplished what society expected of a woman,but if you refused to reproduce then you were '"selfish".Enough said.
Thanks for sharing this Yvytte. Interesting to get some historial context to the societal pressure on single people to get into relationships. You touch on an interesting point about relationships and marriages having the purpose of creating children. I suppose at one level this is important for perpetuating the human species. But on another there shouldn't be so much pressure at an individual level - rather it's a community task of raising children. It's all interesting to consider. Thanks for sharing.
😌 I was looking for a specific comment. There it is. Its a big "fuck the societal norms." I dont care how anyone feels about me or even you n others who think like this. Got better things to do.🥂🙌🏽🎉 The funny part is, when u finally develop a healthy, happy and long lasting relationship which is not "normal or its rare" in the caribbean society since apparently ppl easily succumb to arranged relationship toxicity or fake or unhappy marriages. They would try to lil of much, destroy it.🤔😒 I celebrate this comment Yvette vernet You're one that made my early morn porsh.👌🏽
A lot of sense has even spoken here... and it helps me understand myself a bit more, I have been single for most of my adult life,.. I am 53 now, and although I have chased romantic love, and only found potential a couple of times, timing wasn't right on theyir part, butbit acted as a blueprint of what I expect from romantic love. And also confirms to me that Id rather be alone than be with someone for rhe sake of it. Im realizing a lot of life enriching experiences can come from spending it alone.
You are absolutely right. I don't have to be in a relationship to experience romantic love. I can be super duper in love if I want to, all the time, if I choose it.
