why I 'quit' my dreams of working in animation 

I am blown away by the response on this video, thank you guys so so much! And thank you for leaving all your comments and sharing your story with me. I can’t reply to all of them but just know I read every single one!! ❤️ Also, I would really recommend reading through these comments just to remind yourself that you’re not alone in this :)

I remember in high school the art teachers would discourage kids from drawing anime, and now we have artists making money drawing cute anime style twitch emotes and v-tuber models, and of course the anime con circuit and fandom merch stores are huge. I think finding an art career is more about finding the jobs that fits the art you already naturally do, not trying to transform your art to fit a job

God, i really needed this. I related so hard to the "kid who can draw" part, lol. I always loved to draw as a child and everyone told me that I was really good at it and that I would make a career out of it. So I believed it. And then I went to uni to study arts without really knowing what art school was like and it was a huge disappointment because we had classes like sculpture, oil painting, performance, art and technology and all of this different things that I knew nothing about nor did I enjoy. So I ended up dropping out after three years because it was taking a huge toll on my mental health and I found myself completely lost. I always thought I would end up becoming an artist so I didn't have a plan B. I enroled in a makeup school completely on a whim and luckyly foun out that I really enjoyed doing makeup and that I was also good at it, so it became my new dream. But a few years later I found out thta my country does have quite a small industry for makeup artist and that is very hard to get your foot on the door. Also, after working in small productions I also realized that even if I loved doing makeup, i didnt quite like the uncerten nature of freelancing work on the enterteinment industry. And then 2020 happend. Two years latter, at 28, I found myself not knowing what to do with my life. I've recently reconected with my love for drawing and, thanks to therapy, I've been able to recognize that I'm actually good at it. Since uni I've always strugled with impostors sindrome and, since drawing always had come natural to me, I started believing that if I wasn't improving as fast as I used to it was because I was simply not good enough. I guess I've always struggled with the concept of hard work because I was scared of putting my all into something and it not being enough. I think I'm finally at a point in my journey were I have the strenght to actually try. And I found your video at the best time possible. Thank you so much.

omg girl THIS IS THE STORY EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR! Thank you so much for sharing this 🥺 and i'm so happy to hear you're on a path that resonates with you more. I find it interesting how you mentioned Tangled was also one of the animated movies that got you into animation and it was about changing your dreams, and here you are living your best life in your changed dream!

“Dreams can be quiet, and that’s just as important.” Wow, that hit hard! Amazing video that I really needed to hear right now, thank you!

Funnily enough, my dream was to be a children's book illustrator, and I've ended up as an animator. I wrote and self published a book, and I've done some illustrations for other books freelance while I work full time as an animator, but never been able to really get illustration off the ground as a viable career. I do love animation as a craft, but my current job is taking me down a particular path I'm not sure I want to go professionally, so I'm at a bit of a crossroads myself. This was a great video to watch with regards to the concept of "giving up" on your dreams and the fact that people can just change, it doesn't have to be seen as giving up on your dreams. You can just change what you want in life.

Didn’t know how much I needed this. I recently let go of my dream of becoming a film maker. I used to think film making was the only way I could be apart a community that helped tell meaningful stories. A few months after letting go of my filmmaking dreams I took a job as an art teacher/librarian and slowly started integrating my love for graphic design and filmmaking into my classes and started to realize how much more fulfilling and important it was to me to help my students tell their own stories.

Thank you for sharing this! I went to Gobelins and after working for 12 years in animation, I've decided to quit it for a lot of the reasons you stated here. I think the biggest mistake people can do about animation is thinking they could "create meaningful art". Animation is an industry and the vast majority of people working for it only sell their skills, not their art, style or ideas. I've recently heard someone state a famous movie director saying, "making a movie is like painting a canvas while you're fifty feet away from it and you can only tell 60 persons how to paint on it by talkie-walkie". It's easy to think you'd be the director, but it's plain to see that it's only for a handful of over-talented or well-connected people and all the rest are just holding the brushes (and nothing says that the director will enjoy the process or even be happy with the result). And I've come to a point in my life when I can't stand holding the brush for anyone's else creation anymore. I've always felt way more creative fullfilment by making my own comics aside from my animation jobs (except that I couldn't make any living out of it lol). I'm currently facing a life-crossroad too and I couldn't agree more with all you said in this video!

"Dreams can change", yes! Growing up I wanted to be an animator, but when I saw all the work that goes into it I was like, " New Dream.... Illustrator it is!". I like the satisfaction of a quick finished drawing over working years on one project. ☺😁 The mental struggle of artists is real. 😌 Self doubt, anxiety, depression, mixed with joy, excitement... Lol. Yup that sounds about right. But after a while, and your skills improve, you sort of come to terms with your abilities and you learn to be gentle with yourself and your art. Looking back you see how much you've grown and you begin to realize that you have blossomed into a beautiful artist. 😎😘

I turned 25 last November, and last year had been the most difficult year of my life. I was diagnosed with a shitload of chronic illnesses (I'm basically a person with disability now) that impaired my ability to create and think - hence, I had to quit my music career, right when it was starting to gain some traction. I had to cut ties with the record label that was good to me and I had to give up working with my mentor and musical idol. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I feel like I died already - when you attach your identity so much on your dreams and what you do, the moment you lose sight of it, you lose your purpose as well. And it's all my fault really, I'm stubborn to a fault. I had those horse blinders for years and sacrificed my mental, physical and emotional health because I thought it would really pay off in the end (not bragging; people told me I was really good and had a future with it if I just put my head down). What happened instead is I forgot about my health, relationships, and got seriously ill in the process. Someday, I hope I can be where you are right now. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope.

"Dreams can be quiet" - yaaasss girl. Thank you for sharing.

Yep. Ever since I was little, I wrote songs and sang. I got fairly close to a record deal, but nothing planned out. I have notebooks full of songs that very well could be hits, that probably will never even be recorded. It’s something I devoted the first 30 years of my life to before I had kids. There just doesn’t seem to be a path for music in my life anymore and it’s devastatingly heartbreaking. I truly believe(d) that was what I was born to do. I’m not bitter anymore, but I do get sad. Now I just sing to my 5 kiddos and that’s enough for now. Sometimes I get angry and it all seems like such a waste. Why would I be given all of these songs to write and this voice if no one will ever hear them? All that said, I also always have filled my life with art. And at a very young age picture books fascinated me and sucked me into fantastic worlds and situations. As an adult I have an embarrassingly huge library of picture books that I’ve collected. I can blame my addiction on providing good reading material to my babies. 😉 a few years ago, before turning forty I started focusing my time and energy on actually producing picture books. I now have a notebook full of book ideas and storyboards and sketches. Working on finishing illustrations for my first book with at least five more in the early stages. In my art, I’ve found a blissful realization of a different dream. With music it was cutthroat competitive and backstabbing. With art, I get to just create what I love, and it’s exciting to me that I could publish a book that could inspire a kiddo like so many books inspired me when I was a child. 💗

needed to see this today. i pivoted torwards art teaching because thats just what was avaialable in my area when i graduated art school. im not making a whole lot but im getting by and i have more time to animate than i thought i would. but my "inner child" just will never shut up about me not being a showrunner or director of some kind. like bruce lee says man. you gotta be like water. take th e opportunities that you can get and make with them what you can. and the older i get the more i find out life usually does the unexpected and through that you grow in a new way. getting the trip you NEED not the one you WANT 🤘🏻

You hit every note, key, and chorus of how I've felt for a while! Even working freelance feels shameful at times because it's not the status quo 9-5 that my family expects, and the jealousy that comes with it is real.

I also love how you talked about tangled at the beginning because one of the great arcs in that movie is also a 'quit' dream. At the beginning of the movie eugene wants to be rich and popular, and after the events of the movie his priorities change and his love becomes his new dream. Sometimes change is for the better.

I'm so glad I clicked on this. The rejection stage of your story is my life right now. Applying nonstop for jobs for over two years with nothing to show for it, despite having a BFA in Animation. Seeing my LinkedIn feed makes me feel sick at this point. I turn 25 in a month and I dread it more than anything. I'm not ready to "quit" just yet, since I'm lower class, I can't return to school to try again. I hope I can learn to get over this pain and find something that works for me. And not have to worry about money for the rest of my life. Thank you for sharing your story!

Its interesting that tangled, a movie all about dreams, is what sparked yours! And then another disney movie helped you untangle (hehe) your complicated feelings about your dreams. I feel like im in a similar position and hearing this was so helpful!! Thank you as always!

I'm kindA at the part of life where everyone got dream jobs except me , have been applying everywhere for a job for the first time for a librarian role while all my friends got a dream job, the feeling of envy and jealousy is so so baaad. I'm glad you talked about this bc I was feeling so shitty ;-; The other part of my life is good tho i got to make a cover for a book with a big company without even asking for it! I thought that because i have never gone to art school and am from a 3rd world country i would'nt get this opportunity but somehow God paved the way :')

Didn’t know how much I needed this talk! 💖 I can relate to so much, especially the part about holding onto things because if you let it go it’s like you were giving up. For me it was teaching physics, I went to school and studied physics, I thought I wanted to be a professor and when I did it for a year I realized I didn’t love it. It gave me so much stress and anxiety. But I held onto it because I did not want to admit that I actually wanted to do art this whole time. I was scared of what people would say/think. So just in case people asked me what I was doing, I held onto that job just so I had something to show for all my years of school. I finally took a break from it last year and it was the best decision I ever made. Every now and then I do feel guilty or slightly jealous of peers who are working in the field/ or at a fancy lab or engineering company. But I know deep down that I am meant to be an artist. And I know if I keep working on it, I can make this art thing happen for me 🙏

Thanks for sharing your story.. for us artists, it's truly a struggle to find our path, and it's inspiring to hear yours. subbed.

I wanted to be an animator since I was very, very young. I used to watch behind the scenes videos on youtube, I adored the animation industry, I even made it into a charter arts hs where I was able to take classes relevant to that passion. I was so *sure* I was going to go into animation. Then the pandemic hit and I realized I had so much time and wasn't nearly as passionate about it. I was scared shitless about letting go of animation. I also have so many interests it's a little paralyzing to commit to one thing. Rn I'm at community college and I've swapped degrees twice, and I'm currently aiming for a degree in business. I still want to do creative things, but I'm more interested in the production angle than being in one specific role forever. Letting go of wanting to be an animator was such a transition and sometimes I still feel sad about it, but the art I've made since has all been BETTER. I also realized a lot of artists weren't really happy about their careers. They were successful, but I'd see them at gallery shows and they'd just...seem so empty. There's a lot of egotism. I have issues revolving around validation and attention and I think...art might have been a coping mechanism for a long stretch of my life. So stepping away from tying it to my identity was scary. I have my ups and downs but its nice not to hinge everything on art and animation, and just enjoy things as they come

Aw thanks for sharing your story Anoosha, it was lovely to hear!! Our paths have been a strange wiggly road with unexpected turns too. Sometimes rejections can feel devastating but with hindsight, you realise they truly were a blessing in disguise :D - Steph

thi video has me crying in my office (at an animation studio!!!), i struggled a couple years with this too, the pressure of "pursuing your dreams" is so strong but sometimes its not even your own dreams, its what you THINK your dream is because everyone else is doing it. its so hard to find the correct path to follow your true heart. im still on it, trying to find the one that fits me. thank you so much for this video, you are amazing and so brave

I'm (almost) 26. I've been doing cosplay since I was 12, and when I was 16, Avengers came out and changed my life. I wasn't into Marvel or superheroes at all, but I loved the movie so much. My friends told me that we had to wait to through the credits to see the after credit scene, and that's when I saw costume designer as a job. And, like you, I had this sudden realization that my love for cosplay and costumes could get turn into an actual job. So I went to college, but the only one that I could afford only had a fashion major. I thought, well, as long as I can make clothes, I'll get a job. So even though I was miserable, I forced myself to finish college. But, when I applied to jobs, everyone was shocked that I had never worked in a theater before and didn't see how fashion connected to costume design. (Even though I had a costume portfolio and fought my professors every step of the way to make it so.) Then I moved to Atlanta where all the Marvel movies are filmed and after a year, I had failed to make connections and was still rejected from every job. I even went to part time and hardly had enough money to eat because I needed to 'get better at sewing'. I realized that... I'm satisfied with how I sew. It works for me, and I don't have to make costumes for anyone but myself. I realized that the networking and cattiness of the theater/film world wasn't for me. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I am now living in Germany and learning German (Which, learning a second language has always been a dream of mine in itself), and university is free here, so I have every avenue to explore. I'm considering art history and/or museum work. I think once I start down the path, I'll find the niche that's right for me...

this has helped so much with my university choice. i wanted to go into concept art for disney for similar reasons- i like how it inspired me and i wanted to do the same thing for kids. after firming games art as my university choice i was crying everyday and i just brushed it off as 'ive never done it before so I'm scared'. jump forward about a month, i had no offers- i decided to change every single course to illustration. after this i got my offers back almost instantly and i got into my top 2 unis. watching this video helped me realise that i prefer illustration even though ill always love the animation side of it. and there's nothing stopping me from teaching myself these things! anyway, I'm going to firm my top university soon, this video calmed me down and made me realise that i am doing the right thing. thankyou for sharing this!

I’ll admit I got a bit bitter you talking about lack of resources yet I live in CA and was never blessed with the financial and physical support I needed to have that opportunity to pursue ANY sort of art careers when I was young. I was hung up on supporting myself at 17 after having all my jobs earnings from the age of 14 taken from me to support my mom and stepdads illicit activities. All schools out here are an hour and a half at least away and I had no money for transportation or school. The support you had would have meant everything to me. I’m glad however that you ended up explaining how you were thinking the wrong way and that every situation is different. It’s amazing and inspiring where you are now and thanks so much for sharing! I am now 30 and am hoping to start an actual art career in the next few years despite having young children and having a lot of hardships with little support from family. Wish me luck ✌️

Reminds of the end of Tangled when Flynn says "You were my new dream" and goes back to being Eugene. Your story is super relatable! I'm 32 and have always been trying for animation my whole life. I've done a few cheap kidlitart jobs and the illustrator lifestyle does seem to appeal to me more. But I'm still at a point where both studios & the kidlit agencies are rejecting me and I'm not sure what my art strengths really are. I get more attention freelancing as a clean up animator online, but I noticed I only enjoy animating when its not a rush job for money. Trying to go with the flow, like you said! And putting more time into my illustration skills than before (Your other videos have been very helpful). You make a great point about figuring out the actual core of the dream, and using that to help with the prioritizing decisions!

I really like this video. I've actually never had a dream job. I'm getting my PhD in Pharmaceutical Sciences ( I love research and science), but I love art and learning things in general too. Right now I'm teaching myself graphic design. My favorite medium is watercolor, I am teaching myself Korean, and I'm writing a book. Just because I want to. I may never make money with these things but that's fine with me. I see art as a hobby, and I don't think I would ever want to make it a job. Recently I went to a Van Gogh exhibit (which was amazing) and an older lady asked if I'm an artist. I said no it's just a hobby. She just replied sounds like an artist to me. This got me thinking how much we limit ourselves just because it's not apart of the big dream or it doesn't add monetary value.

I had a similar realization when I knew my artwork is not ready for the animation industry. I wanted to work on backgrounds but my work was not on a professional level and I wasn't working on my art often enough to improve in a short amount of time. This was after art school and I was working retail. I enjoyed making art but was not good at keeping myself accountable and probably doing freelance work. I tried to apply to other jobs like graphic design and other computer skill jobs but I was rejected again and again. However when I updated my resume to say that I was working with all kinds of printing machines thats when I got a job at my dream company! I am now working there full time, mostly doing some graphic work but printing a lot. I am happy I have a very stable job with a great company. I still work on art but more casually :)

I haven't even finished the video but I can tell you that this is what I NEEDED to hear. I'm a filmmaker and writer. I have poured my whole heart and life into this, still with no success (on a LARGE scale). It's hard not to get sad and discouraged. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this!!

Maany good points in this video, I do think dreams can be toxic, it brings an expectation (normally based upon no actual hands on experience but a daydream), this can lead you to lose scope of the bigger picture which is you wanted to do something you thought you would've enjoyed. Some people get in the industry (games industry in my case) and realise their mental depiction doesn't match the reality (or worse their skills aren't what they expected so they don't even get into industry to begion with). You then have to be honest and admit this isn't what you expected and switch, or suck it up and tell yourself you love it so you look like you made it and are happy externally. I believe knowing when to quit is actually on of the most important traits a human can have, trying to chop a tree down with a hammer isn't a good idea, maybe you're meant to be knocking nails elsewhere but to see that you have to turn your back on the tree sometimes, and due to social media and as you said underdog stories (which by definition represent something that DOESN'T happen often which is why its made into a film, its a fantasy) there's a negative perception to quitting something which means you get trapped trying to look like a success to people probably struggling to be a success themselves. Bare in mind i speak realtively partly from hypothetical and part from experience, in my case I did athletics for years (wearing a nike T-shirt that said "Never ever ever ever give up" which is dangerous in itself) and gave up after 6 years, that was 100% the correct decision, I'd have failed at that long term for sure, its a genetic based sport lol, I wanted to be a pilot academic wise until i flew a small plane on a lesson (single engine 4 seats). It didnt't meet the 16 years of expectation and i dropped it there and then. Then I went all in for Game dev, the parameters clicked (i.e i was more built for it than the previous subjects), and I went uni, killed it and had 2 dream jobs in a row, I just left that second dream job unexpectedly in december to start freelance and I had no plan of leaving until years later but something bigger popped up. That last job was 100% fit for a "dream job" so I left sad tbh but freelance pays exponentially more so even if its only an 80% match passion wise (still higher than most people ever reach), because passion alone doesn't pay the bills, 20% compromise for 100%+ financial gain is fine for me. In general on your journey its best to every so often , pause, survey your surroundings, if the environment has changed, pivot, readjust then continue. Tunnel vision can take you off a cliff in an everchanging world even if it was once on target :)

You were like send from heaven, thank you so much! I was so depressed, this month I just kept getting sadder and sadder. I always dreamed about making a career of drawing even tho I didn't even know in what exactly. It was not until I finished my career as a graphic designer (and getting frustrating over it as it was not what I wanted in the end) that I learned about what vis dev is and all those amazing jobs in the animation industry. None of that was even mentioned in my school or college as it didn't exist in my country (most people just said art would make you poor). I'm from Latin America and here there was so little information and the access was so limited when I was younger that I really felt it was impossible to make a living as an artist or work in any of those projects. I'm older now and being a pro artist is still my dream, but I feel very depressed sometimes; even tho now it's more possible than ever and there are a few indi studios in my own country now, social media shows how other younger artists work remotely and have incredible skills and connections while I feel so left behind and not good enough. I almost start crying when you talked about jealousy bc I feel like a terrible person for feeling it, and I start hating my art and myself thinking that after all this time drawing I should be in that pro-industry level and I'm not. But I noticed recently that my biggest problem is that I don't know what to do, I want to do art but to achieve what exactly? I'm without direction and that's why even tho I'm constantly illustrating and learning, I don't have a route and my standards just keep expanding. But then I remembered that I want to tell stories and to connect. I started drawing bc I was very shy, and bad at communicating and making friends as a kid, but art gave me both a scape, but also a connection to people, the possibility to talk. I could spend all my time drawing, imagining stories in my head. I don't need to be terribly good AAA video game level for that, maybe I just should put myself out there and ask for critiques. You are so open with everything it really feels refreshing

All your words are so inspiring , im glad someone talked about jealousy in creative industry. At the end of the day focus on what makes you happy. and 100% correct dreams can changes too

Wonderful. Thank you for sharing your experience. For a long time I thought I'd illustrate comic books or try to work in animation, and I really think part of that comes from the adults around me not being very imaginative when it came to thinking of art jobs. Even now as I provide for my family illustrating board games I sometimes get told that my work would make a great movie, like that's the real goal that every artist should aspire to. I'm so grateful to find something different that works for me, and I appreciate your perspective so much!

I absolutely resonate with the art school disappointment, I went to Cleveland Institute of Art and spent it teaching myself too. Always feeling like I was behind other schools and not having enough oppertunities. This is such validation thank you so much

This video couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Exactly like you, I saw Tangled when I was 8 and realized that real artists actually made the films I adored come to life. That’s when I decided I wanted to work in animation. I had always loved drawing and been the “artist“ of my school, and I received a lot of praise for my work. Everyone was sure I would accomplish my dreams of working for a big animation studio. In the meantime, I started a social media account where I casually posted my art, but it grew a large audience I became a full time freelancer illustrator by the time I was in high school. I also wanted so badly to attend a fancy art school like CalArts or Sheridan, but my family didn’t want me studying so far from home. I was able to get into a really competitive arts program at a local college where many alumni work for big animation studios. I’m now in my first year of a college, but I’m feeling the pressure of all those promises I made my younger self start to way in me. As my freelance career as an Illustrator takes up most of my time, and my current portfolio strays further from animation, I’m worried I’m heading the wrong direction (even though I’m happy). I feel pressured to live up to what everyone close to me, including myself, imagined I would be doing. I know I still have time, but I’m not sure if I even want to work in animation, or if I just want to meet other people’s expectations. It’s been a really stressful crossroads coming to the realization that my old dreams might not suit who I am now. My take away from this video was not to stress about it. Just go with the flow, see where life takes me, and I’m sure I’ll be happy as long as I stay true to myself. If it’s meant to be, it will be. But it’s not worth changing myself and working towards a dream that doesn’t represent who I am now- just to please my younger self and others around me. I now see that I’m not giving up, I’m simply keeping my options open. I don’t have follow any strict rules or stay in one lane to be happy. Thank you so much for this video, its something that ppl don’t talk about enough. You definitely gave me hope and assuaged my fears!

I love this. I studied film for two years because I wanted to be a screenwriter more than anything. But I knew something was missing, even if I didn't want to admit it. I left my film school to study political science, and all these opportunities opened up. I got into film because I wanted to connect with people and help them feel seen, but I realized that I could do that (and more effectively) with diplomacy and writing books. I think I also just wanted to be famous 😅 It's so important that we be honest with ourselves in this way. We should all be more accepting of quiet dreams 😊

Everything you're feeling about jealousy is 100% my experience, too! It's so so meaningful to hear another artist talking about these feelings and how they worked on the issues it brings up

Thank you for this. I feel less alone where I am right now. I have friends from college who graduated a couple years after me and immediately landed their dream jobs. I’m ashamed of the resentment I felt when I learned about this through Facebook. It’s good to know others have been through this and found fulfillment in the end.

Thank you so much for talking about failure and the misconception and toxicity of the concept of dreams in 90s/00s movies. I grew up thinking that following our dreams was the most important thing and eventually crumble when I found out my carrier path was not exactly what I expected it to be. Right now I am pursuing my dream of being an illustrator but in a less competitive/ demanding way in order to give myself space to express my passion genuinely and without to much stress. THABK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS!

Oh boy...I held off on watching this video when I saw it pop up on my feed because I knew it was going to be relatable. And it turns out I was right. This is SO similar to what I went through. I saw The Little Mermaid and Aladdin in theaters when I was little and I was absolutely blown away by them. They meant so much to me. When I was 12 I got the 'How to Draw The Little Mermaid' book for Christmas, and from then on I decided I wanted to animate for Disney and there was no other job for me. When it didn't work out after college I was devastated and lost. After being side tracked in a few different directions, I'm finally a freelance illustrator, but I always feel that tinge of regret for not fulfilling a goal that I set for myself. And like you said, that goal doesn't even suit me! Thank you so much for posting this video and telling your story. It's very helpful to know that successful artists struggle with this very same thing.

This video has really come at a perfect time. My dream since I was young was also to work in the animation industry. But life had other plans and for my priorities now I don’t want to move to Los Angeles to hustle. I want a house and stable lifestyle and have respect/pay artists don’t get in the adult working world. Also the gig work structure of the animation industry and constantly having to find a job every year sounds exhausting. I worked as a graphic designer for a couple of years and now I’m taking a boot camp to change careers to UX/UI. It’s strange not pursuing an artistic career, but I realized doing art for a job burned me out. Especially making art for other people on demand. The pressure of your work defining who you are wrecked me. And the jealousy burned friendships. I feel sad like my dream died and almost like I lost my sense of purpose. But I think in the long run it’s good to try something new and move forward.

Thank you SO much for this video, I really resonated with it. When I was a little kid my dream was to be an artist, but as I grew up my Asian parents were like "How about get a stable job and do art on the side" so I ended up going to college for computer science, graduating, and working in software. During that time I started selling art at cons, and it was a good and bad experience. The good was that people loved my art enough to buy it! The bad was that art became tied to money, which tarnished my relationship with it. At the beginning of 2020 I decided to take a break soo the pandemic was actually good timing for me 😅. During that year, there were ZERO conventions for me to make art for, so I just made it for myself, like I used to as a kid. It felt SO good to enjoy creating for creating's sake again, and I felt more energized than ever to keep painting. So much so that in 2021, I was feeling burnt out from my day job and decided to quit to pursue art full time. Although my software job was stable and my coworkers were great, deep down I knew I only picked it because certain parts mimicked what I love about the creative process (getting into the flow, building something from nothing, creative problem solving, seeing it all come together). It was a stand-in for what I really love, and you talking about why you sought out an animation job reminded me of that. Even though I'm financially way worse off at the moment, I feel SO much more motivated and passionate about my day to day work, and I feel like I have so much to share with the world. But I know I wouldn't feel this way if I had decided to quit my job back in 2017 or 2018. Like you said, things happen for a reason, and for me I NEEDED to learn those hard lessons about how to balance and work through the conflict between passion for art and making art for money before I fully took the plunge. Thank you again for your video, I'm definitely gonna save it and come back to it if I ever need a motivational reminder to keep pursuing my CORE dreams ❤

Thank you for this. I recently made a HUGE career switch from animation to theatre and ive been having a lot of guilt about it. Listening to your story has helped remind me that can appreciate what other are doing withput doing it myself

This is such a relatable talk, even tho I'm not an animation industry. I understand going through rejection in job searches and dealing with jealousy. DREAMS CHANGE, and thats okay!! Thank you for sharing your story! 💗💗💗

you just helped me feel so much less angry at myself. loved listening to this. I'm still not sure what my career will be yet, but this gives me hope

On the rejection bit 😭 I appreciate you for being open/vulnerable!!

I switched from 3D animation to Graphic Design and it was so hard to make that change, but Im better off financially, emotionally, and artistically. Even with the period of deep depression it caused, I came out on the other side much healthier at the end of the day

This video couldn't have been recommended at a better time.. Its so tormenting when its all in your head and u want all these things.. I can't even believe the similarities between my story and yours.. I was in a bookstore a few days ago and the childrens books/Illustrated books got my attention i was like y haven't i thought abt this before like its so obvious.. So im at a crossroad now and ur video shed some light onto the situation thank u very much.. And ur other content are so valuable.. How haven't i discovered u before..timing is everything

Holy heck this video hits so hard... I had a horrible experience in artschool, went to study marketing in uni (hated it), tried to work as a tattoo artist for years, bad experience, gave up, moved 3 countries working service jobs, went to animation school in 2020, heard almost nothing back from animation studios I've been applying and just now started to consider that doing 2D animation full time might be not for me and started to look seriously into illustration! And I've been feeling all that age-shame, jelaousy and stuff you're talking about and it just... feels so much better that I'm not alone with this? Honestly. The relief.

Came across this video today. This is by far one of the best videos I've watched, and in touches on so many things that are left unspoken. I've been dealing with all of the things you listed here, and you sharing your perspective has really helped me. It definitely has me thinking, and revisiting my goals, but also understanding that it's ok to adapt too. Thank you Anoosha!

This video makes me so happy, people need to hear that it's okay to change your mind. I went through something like this about 2 years ago. I desperately wanted to be a freelance illustrator but working with clients on my own was giving me SEVERE anxiety. I needed more structure in my work life than what I could set for myself so I started looking for a solution. I've now been at my current job for almost a year and I'm so unbelievably happy. I'm still an illustrator but I don't work with individual clients anymore; instead I illustrate books and lessons for special needs content and I HAVE COWORKERS. No one told me how isolating freelancing could be and it's really something I wish I'd known before trying it. Thank you for making this video, it's amazing!

I'm glad you were able to get a career in the art field, at least. I draw cartoons myself, and had the lifelong goal of creating a comic strip. But since I'm already 60, I'm finally facing the fact it's not going to happen, and it's emotionally crushing. Even though you "failed", you didn't really, it seems to me. You had a plethora of creative endeavors going, something that was never true of me, simply because I was so single-minded.

Anoosha you have no idea how hard this hits girl. I really resonated with a lot of what u said and you were able to speak for my deepest fears as a 18 year old teen. I've worked so hard through all this pandemic to achieve my goals but I have this constant fear of loosing myself for my goals. I'm a Mexican girl and I know the pressure. I know my parents want me to do what I love and succeed but I´m starting to be too overwhelmed with founding money and school that all this is so stressful. I feel like im working but not being rewarded. I still have this fire in me but idk when it starts to burn myself. Please keep making this content, you are my favorite artist and you sharing this is so comforting. Thank you. Please take care of yourself

This is such a good video! I love how gentle you are with yourself reflecting on your past, but also very honest and real about your feelings, insecurities, and struggles. Its really very beautiful to see someone genuinely open up like this.

doing art for over 20 years and to be honest I have kinda had enough of it. chased it for so long i missed out on so much, im grateful for my ability and what i have built but the daily routine of waking up drawing sleep, repeat has kinda gotten old. life is much better now I have put my friends and family more in the focal point

This video is SO IMPORTANT! Everyone would talk about this. After watching this, I'm feeling a lot less alone. Thank you. I'm 26 and since ever I want to be a manga illustrator and an animator. Today I am an actress, a painter and have a main normal job in an inn. I find myself in plastic arts much more than in illustration world, but I feel a great guilty for not insist more in this old dream. I don't want to be an illustrator anymore, but I'm feel so bad with the old me that dreamed with this every day. So, here I am. Therapy is helping, but there is a long, long jouney to accept that I changed and it is very good.

Currently going through exactly this, except games instead of animation. After years and years of thinking I have to do concept art, getting rejected from concepting gigs, and forcing myself to make portfolio work I dont love...I'm actually getting freelance gigs doing illustration based on the work I do for fun. Enough to do it full time and support myself. Now that I don't have to apply for game jobs any more, it still feels like I can't quite let myself give up on the idea of doing games. Now I'm wondering if that's actually what is right for me or if it's just a sunken-cost fallacy feeling. This was super insightful and encouraging!

Thank you for this 🥰 I'm currently trying to get into the animation industry as a character animator and it is SO competitive. I've wanted to be an animator since I was 11, I'm now almost 25 and have had more rejections than I can count. Sometimes I feel like giving up and going in a different direction.This video makes me feel normal and that no matter what I decide I will make the right choice for myself 🥰

I want to thank RU-vid for this one as they have recommended your video right at the time when I was struggling between my studies, my mental health, and my career choices. This was really reassuring to hear that I do not have the obligation to fulfill my dream of working in the video games industry and rather focus on what my goals are, and for that, I thank you deeply ❤ Also, I really like your art 😍

Definitely had this dream of working in editorial illustration and after years of trying trying trying, I let it go. I just didn't want to keep asking them to "see me". I also let myself be inspired by making kids books and making public art. I wouldn't say no to a big editorial gig now but I am not desperate for it either. Good shit Anoosha!

I know how you felt. I wanted to be an artist but my parent said no so I became a nurse. It paid the bills. Now I am retired and taking art classes at community college. I am even taking digital art. My son who is in a university in California near where we live has used some of my ideas with my blessing. I give my friends paintings as a gift and they frame them. I enjoy working from home. I don't know where it will lead at my age but I am happy.

thank you so much for this! as an international artist i don't often see other international artists talk about their experiences at least none that are as well known, this was a great video and i hope to see more of what's coming :)

this was so inspiring. i too have left tmy animation dreams behind and have finished my degree in illustration and am currently doing my masters in children's publishing. its so validating to see someone go through the same struggles as you. thanks for the video

Thank you for being so honest about your negative emotions you experienced when you were looking for job, I really needed to hear this, I felt so relieved especially the part you talked about rapidly evolving dreams

Oh my goshhhh I resonate with this so much! I wanted to be an animator so bad but I realized illustrating is really my path.

Your dreams, goals and aspirations are going to change over and over. Especially being a creative. We need that change and the challenges of constantly evolving. You’ll likely come back to animation at some point. You may even go in a completely different direction that doesn’t involve art/illustration in any way. Keep evolving and following your path.

I really needed this video. I have been following your work for a while now and it made me so happy to see someone use art and storytelling in a traditional method. I am in high school and I love love love to draw comics similar to Calvin and Hobbs or Tin Tin. I am currently deciding on school and my future and every where I go on youtube or other platforms most cartoon like artists work in animation. Now just like you I have a zillion art books and love animation but I always found it difficult, never had any training or supplies and didn't want to end up working in someone else's style. I love telling stories and teaching kids and after discovering your channel I want to get back into making comics for kids. I grew up only reading comics and I want to give the same thing back. Thanks for making it seem like animation isn't the only thing out there.

This video was like a comforting cup of tea, thank you for this. I go to SAIC and I’ve taken two gaps years, the first because of my mental health, and the second because of the pandemic making everything online. It’s so easy to get down on myself because I’m 22 and barely finishing my sophomore year, and won’t graduate likely until I’m 24 so I feel pretty far behind from my peers. It’s good to have a reminder that other artists are just as human as me and that it’s ok that I don’t have everything figured out. I don’t even technically know my ‘major’ yet, but I’m just gonna take classes that interest me, do my best with them and see what sticks! I’d like to be a character designer (as of now), so hearing your own critiques of your portfolio and how you need to adjust your portfolio to the jobs you apply to was very helpful to hear! Thank you for this. You have a new subscriber 💜

I feel SO RELATED to the story you just shared...thanks for putting words to most of my thoughts and feelings...38 and still looking for the right path for me, but definitely on the gol! I am really glad you made it, CONGRATS! every artist should watch this video!

this video has been appearing in my recommendations for weeks, so i finally watched it, and it was exactly what i needed to hear. thank you!

Even when you reach your ‘dream position’ you still can feel unhappy. Im 28 now, a music teacher and education designer.. and im not happy. I love to draw, to paint… i miss making art. Now im at home with a burn-out figuring out what im suposed to do in life. I relate so much to your story ❤️ you explained it so well! Thanks for talking about this subject. Its making me feel a little better ❤️

My story is also similar, I spent half a semester in a cartoon & animation school in another city but had to move back to my parents house due to health reasons. I’m currently studying fine arts and I think I’d like to open a gallery one day! Changing your goals doesn’t mean you “give up” you’re just making experiences. I loved this video so much thanks for making it :)

This was so helpful to hear. Thank you. I'm in a similar boat where, for a long time, I wanted to work in the animation industry, albeit with little success. Many people have told me for years that my style would be great for children's books, and I know it's something I really want to do, but, for whatever reason, be it fear or jealousy or ego or what-have-you, I haven't pursued it. And even though I veered away from the animation industry job-wise, focusing more on directing and writing, a small part of me still longs to do what my peers and friends are doing and work at a big studio. Deep down, though, I know that I need to stop being afraid and make that children's book I've wanted to make for years. Thank you for sharing your story and for this kick in the butt that I need.

Definitely needed this! Thank you so much, Anoosha!! ❤️

Thanks Anoosha 😭💕 needed to hear something like this, the ups and downs of being an artist can be so defeating. Figuring out where I fit right now, lots to consider 💕🥰

This video is so real. I've gone through this process countless times. I'm glad you're talking about this! Thanks for sharing!

This has helped me so much. I was just crying to my spouse about this exact thing and he gave me a lot of similar advice but it seems that the universe finds it important to reverberate this truth to me to help me through the time I've been having. Thank you again

THANK YOU for talking about your bad feelings. This is something I have been struggling with trying to break into the illustration industry. It is so soothing to hear other people have this issue same as me.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story! You’re oozing with so much wisdom and your story is so refreshing, validating, and encouraging.

I have been in this exact mindset for a year now, nearing the end of my animation major and also becomming more and more in love with books and illustration work. Thank you so much for your honesty!!! This helped!!!

Haven’t finished this yet, but Anoosha! Your story is providing me with amazing perspective! It’s less about changing my work to fit my dreams but DISCOVERING my dreams through the work I love making.

Thanks so much for making this video. I work in animation, which had been my dream job since high school, but I have been finding it more and more unfulfilling. I need to do some soul-searching to figure out if I still want to make my animation career a priority. This video made me feel like I’m not alone in feeling like this. You’ve given me a lot to think about!

I really needed this Anoosha! Your videos are so helpful and touch so many important things that are usually ignored. Thank you!

Would love a video on ‘bad artist feelings’♥️

I absolutely LOVE when you said, "I'm sorry I just have a lot of feelings about this movie." Such a real, relatable moment!!! ❤

Thank you for speaking so candidly about your career/dream pivot experience! I’m in the same boat and it took me a long time to even have the guts to switch to doing what I know I’m passionate about. Looking forward to seeing more of your illustration and videos! 😊👍

I’d also recommend watching the movie Soul. As someone who was struggling to make it in my desired career path (which I’m in now) it was such an interesting perspective on passions, how you should enjoy life even if it’s not what you wanted for yourself, and how dreams can also disappoint.

This made me feel 100% better and helped me focus on my portfolio while I listened. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it's crazy to feel less alone. I really resonated with the ownership of value when it comes to your own journey as an artist. Thank you for helping people 'get the hint'.

this is THE VIDEO that i needed to watch, thank you for sharing your path, not only it feels similar to mine but it also is inspirational and doesn't make me feel like its all over and there's nothing wrong with falling out of your 'dreams'

On another note, I got my dream job after trying for 10 YEARS. Now that I've been doing it for 2 years, I want to quit. Crazy ego clashes and toxicity, gossiping, just like in high school. It has turned me off to "art careers", and I don't even care anymore and want to quit and just work for myself. The gossiping and back stabbing is worse than when I was at a regular office job. I feel like I'm in a bad relationship with the people I work with. It sucks. The grass is always greener on the other side.

What a great message :) I know a lot of younger people read/comment, so I wanted to put in my 2c as an "older person"...I have been down several career paths, tried many things...many that I realized weren't for me, either at that time, or ever....even if you hit 40/50/60 and realize you don't like the path you are on, it is so okay to change...in fact, as you get older you learn so much about yourself and what you really want or need in life. Right now I am a freelance writer, but I have a goal of doing children's illustration or storyboarding....I also have a handful of young children that I homeschool....my life will be much different in ten years and it will be okay to reevaluate and change paths if need be.

Needing this kind of talk right now!

I am such a different artist and person from how I was 10 years ago. I loved hearing your story! I resonated to a lot of what you said about dreams. I question my choices every day and I just have to accept that I have no idea where I'll find myself in the future. Who doesn't hate that question in interviews? If I say I want this job because I want to support myself and my family and have a peaceful, "boring" life, no one will take me :)). But while 10 years ago I was depressed because I wasn't a painter extraordinaire (at 20 mind you), now I am happy to be a baby food illustrator. Is this the right path? How would I know? Can't there be multiple paths and still be happy and fulfilled? There are so many artists ahead of me, even in my niche, and I too feel jealousy and frustration sometimes, but this is where I am and who I am right now. And if I look back, I've come such a long way, I can't believe my abilities right now, even if I still have a very long way ahead of me. But today is today, not yesterday or tomorrow.

Thank you so much for this video! This was incredibly validating; it's weirdly comforting to know that I'm not the only artist who has felt these feelings. The jealousy, the feeling like you've aged out of the race before you even started, feeling guilty for 'giving up'...It's hard to talk about but so, so important

Thank you! This was very helpful, Anoosha. Love your videos.

thank you so much for sharing your story! i just graduated last spring and I feel like the end of the video explained a lot about why pursuing art as a career right now doesn't feel right to me. There's something about money that makes me less motivated to create. this video was really reassuring

Okay here's what I don't know what to do or understand: 1. you DO work in animation. You have Character Design credits. You achieved your dream even if it isn't your main job. 2. I am in the same boat you were I but here's the thing, I am constantly getting rejected for Illustration jobs as well. And no agent wants to represent me. So I'm not achieving my dream OR my secondary dream...what do you do in this situation?

Thank you so much for this video, I felt the same many times, from jealousy to realizing where I really want to get to with my illustration career, I'm from Argentina and the path was not as smooth, fast or easy at all as I would have liked or as you said, as the social media of kids from first world countries show. As always, your videos inspire me a lot.

I LOVEEE This vIDEO SO MUCHHHH!!! I LIKE That you mentioned Monster U! Another Pixar movies that fits this example is Soul with Dez the barber. But man, I want to like this video a 10000 times. I am currently an art student and I feel everything about what you said. Thankyou! I am very happy for you !