Why I Quit Teaching - The BRUTAL REALITY of being a teacher with undiagnosed ADHD 

I took 8 years to do a 3 year teaching degree. I’ve never even attempted to apply for a teaching role. I know I’d crumble. Waiting to be assessed

This video was really eye-opening. I actually did my Pgce over 10 years ago now in science, so the route was a bit different and initially it was really good. I guess the dopamine kicked in there was a lot of enthusiasm and I was teaching activities or part lessons instead of full lessons during my first placement. I was in a school which was quite enthusiastic and not so structured driven so I actually loved it, but moving to 2nd placement and more structured school with harder deadlines completely made me crumble. Lesson plans, handed in 24 hours in advance and checked for grammar as well! Less resources available and less friendly environment - sink or swim. My performance went down. Lesson planning took far too long, and during the lesson was very stressful. Despite the time spent on lesson planning, it’s like it went out of my head during the lesson specially with everything going on - behaviour management, Remembering to collect resources, science experiments, Following up detentions. I actually set the students of science project and forgot about it! None of my tutors could understand why I suddenly found it so tough. Transitions were biggest bugbear. The school got fed up with me and told me I was failing. I always felt like such a failure and had so much emotional trauma from my PGCE. I actually managed to pass But vowed never to go back. In hindsight, now, I think it was undiagnosed ADHD. I do still struggle with it now, but I’m older and much more compassionate with myself. I actually found working in smaller groups of students with special needs was something which worked much better for me and I excelled at it. Having my own kids is what made me realise, I probably have ADHD and makes a lot of sense given previous struggles even as a schoolkid myself. I actually teach my own children Arabic (a hyper focus hobby of mine) at home. I’m good at it but even now I know doing a full lesson is not something I do very well. We do micro lessons here and there and learning in nature - and applying it. Having said that The experience made me take a long hard look at my mental health I took us sabbatical, and I learnt to let go, learn NLP all sorts of techniques from a course. It was life changing, and I no longer connected self-worth to my job performance. I am in a different phase of life now, figuring out raising kids whilst living abroad. Other challenges 😆🙈 But teaching is the first time I realised trying harder was not getting me results. Have so much respect for teachers, but I’m so pleased to be out of the profession! Sorry for the long message, I just feel I had to get this out somehow. Excuse the grammar I dictated this message! Thank you for sharing this

Thank you for this frank and honest video. I am pretty sure that I have ADHD, but I have had difficulty getting a diagnosis. I taught in academia for 8 years, but ultimately had to quit as I just couldn’t cope. I have never recovered from the disappointment, self-disgust and shame. Your description of your struggles made so much sense to me, and gave me a new way to frame my difficulties. I am very grateful.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I’m so sorry you had such a difficult time with teaching and mental health, but it’s great you were able to do what’s best for you, as hard as it was to leave. And it’s wonderful you can look back now and see the tremendous strength you had. I’ve been a teaching assistant at a university for the past few years while doing grad school, and even though I only teach one or two sections a semester, I really struggle with it as someone who also has ADHD. It takes me twice as long as it should to lesson prep, because even though I know the subjects I’m teaching, if I don’t over-prep I know I might just get up in front of the class and completely forget everything. The stress and anxiety teaching causes me also definitely takes its toll, so I can’t imagine having to teach full time. Thanks so much for sharing your ADHD journey-I’ve been loving your videos & vlogs 😊

Yes Emily! I have passion to teach music and guitar at high school! I am also about to quit! You are not alone ❤

all of this resonates so much. thank you for sharing.

Just finished my four year teaching bachelors at 34. Have inattentive adhd and I’ve been medicated and known this is the case throughout. Even so I have a similar story throughout my last year which was a full year of unpaid full time teaching. I performed well, great reviews, kids love me etc told I’m an “excellent teacher”. It makes it extra hard to confront the reality that my life was totally falling apart in order to show up and get the things done that were required of me. Living in a total mess, skin picking so bad I scarred and disfigured my face, couldn’t see friends or date, lost thousands of dollars to food delivery or fast food. It’s hard to accept when it’s something that 50% of you is totally meant for and you excel at. Something that makes a difference. But we also have to know we’re worth saving. I’m thankful that I can make decent money as a substitute teacher (takes away most of the planning and nightly paperwork bs). Eventually I’m interested I’m interested in trying out a year long contract, after I’ve got my systems and medication down and my life is more stable. But ultimately, while I sub I will also be looking to build experience in other fields come time to make the leap. Bless you, so few understand the pain of this…being talented but also having a hidden disability is a painful combo. Best of luck sister!

I'm an English and Media Studies teacher at Secondary, and I am 95% sure I have undiagnosed ADHD and am awaiting diagnosis (currently a 3 year wait). I feel everything you've said. I've been doing this for 10 years and I did nothing but cry after school for the first 3 years due to stress and feelings of failing to meet the system. I thought I was getting the hang of it, but earlier this year, after being given a timetable of about 70% year 11 and 13 (exam classes), I found myself falling. I started making too many jokes about hurting myself to get time off. I even joked about walking into traffic. I decided to let my SLT know how I feel. They were supportive, but ultimately can't do anything. The most they can do is make sure my timetable and rooming next year is less brutal. I am 4 days a week this year for the first time as these feelings were going to crush me. I'm stumbling through until June, when most of my classes leave for exams. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone in feeling this way.

I'm awaiting to be formally accessed. The part about having panic attacks everyday while driving home and being in constant fight or flight, that hits home

its such a huge step make a choice for you, your realy inspiring! those moments of struggels are so hard mostly because its all about menaging your own expecation and not letting yourself believe your worst fears....(at school that is like the number one challange) for a adhd brain this is so hard because all these emotions are so powerfull and its actualy because of caring too much it can realy break down the self and escalted those fears. facing and thinking about these thinks are so important to undestand the why of it all and feel contected too yourself. i always repeat this thing i read : "learn form your past , live look towards the future , live in the now. " and "emotions are not made by you but felt by you, how you act on them is your own choice". emotions can change but the fundementals are the same the person u are and want to be might be diffrent. accepting oneself means accepting the person u are. this is where the feeling of content comes form because the only work that will be a head is experiencing live throu your emotions("follow your heart") (there is a whole processes but its like opening your eyes for the first time in a long time some things are scary some things are good but in general u can see aign and that is great!) i want u too know you are doing the hardest thing know too humans and that is selfreflection i have alot of respect for you !

As someone who was recently diagnosed with ADHD-I, and now moving into teaching as a second career... Phew. I was really struggling in my office job so hoping the structure and hard deadlines in teaching will help me. Any tips?

From about19:22 to about 19:38 was particularly powerful. Don't be sorry for sharing that, and I'm glad you included it! Links with the points you've made of empathy. Points I relate strongly with and...honestly, I think moments like that show the best of us. People think moments like that are unattractive but it's what makes them most attractive. They think moments like that show them as weak, when really it's proof that they are oh so very strong. Can't wait to see what you come out with next! I just might be your biggest fan.

I definitely shouldn't have listened to this on my way to school as a teacher. It's really brutal isn't it. I'm leaving after just 2 years. It's funny that we had opposite experiences but ended up the same way. I did teach first as well but I found it was really bad for me because the lack of supervision meant that I couldn't build good habits and routines. Being observed a handful of times a term meant that nothing stuck. By the time they saw me again I'd already forgotten all the feedback...even when I printed it out and stuck it to my desk! My biggest problem was inability to build routines and be consistent. I had good lessons but I was struggling with all the organisation and workload. I actually missed some observations because the school would schedule them well in advance and even with calendar reminders and notifications I'd still forget things. If I remembered the observation I'd do all the prep and then forget to send the lesson plan ahead of time. I just looked like a mess. What didn't make sense to me is that I was always academically very capable. School was mostly exams and I was good at them even though I was bad at revising. I got by on talent. Uni was fine too because there's actually even less work when you think about it. A few essays a term. When it came to teaching it was on a different level. I say to my friends I have 5 hard deadlines every day. If the lesson isn't planned you have chaos. You can't improvise (not at my level anyway) and you can't reschedule. For me I began to see the ADHD in the fact that no matter how much I prepared there would always be something I missed. Sometimes I'd be editing my PowerPoint as the lesson went along. Not a little bit but a lot because I just hadn't thought it through even though I FELT like I had. I realised in hindsight that part of the issue is that I just couldn't sit for a solid 30 - 40 minutes and plan one logical lesson. I'd do it in bursts of like 5 minutes all while doing a dozen other things. I wouldn't even do it chronologically, just as the ideas came. At the end it would be alright but not something someone 2 years in should be doing. My mentor suggested bringing lesson plans into the lesson to help me stay on track. I did it so many times. But every. Single. time. As soon as the kids came in I forgot about the lesson plan on my desk. It's like I couldn't keep that stuff in my head. Everything was too fast with behaviour, and handing out resources. I just couldn't do it all. I'd lose my worksheets around the room mid lesson, I'd lose my pens. I think ADHD also affected my behaviour management because I'd basically "procrastinate" over sanctions and discipline. As you probably all know being indecisive in that respect is a recipe for disaster. Sadly in the end the school just didn't renew my contract at the end even though the other teach first people were allowed to stay. I suppose the only positive is that with teaching being so high demand it made me realise something was wrong far sooner than I would have done and I'm now on medication and things are somewhat better. Honestly as you said teaching isn't accessible even for neurotypical people. I call it a burnout profession. That's why need the holidays. By the end of every half-term we're all burnt out! It needs massive reform. Anyway thanks so much for the wonderful video. Teaching drove me to some pretty dark places too. When I think about some mornings and standing on the tube platform... Anyway we made it and we have bright days ahead I'm sure. I really appreciated this video as it made me feel so seen. Best of luck and do keep us updated.

I'm sorry you went through this. I've had a lot of the same troubles. I think that it's good for everyone to figure out adhd can be pretty harmful to our lives.

Oop. I’m an ECT waiting for my ADHD diagnosis. I’m certain I have it. My sister and dad are AuDHD. Your school day sounds JUST like mine. I’m struggling to stay on top of everything. I’m full considering finishing my ECT and then leaving the country to teach somewhere else… My personal relationships have suffered. My health has suffered. And it’s such a thankless profession. I’m berated by students, parents, other teachers. I just feel burnt out. I really want to make teaching my career but it really is overwhelming.

I taught English lit as someone is likely undiagnosed ADHD ( my son has it so recognise the struggle). I could only do it part time and that was more than enough. Eventually I trained as an OT. Now I work as a mental health Clinician. It is structured due to the assessment tools, I get to use my empathy, love talking to people and writing short assessments plus I run structured training courses. Basically it has alot of STRUCTURE 😂😂. Can still only work pt time though. And still get v tired on work days.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm in my 3rd year of uni to become a primary teacher and I think I have ASD, maybe ADHD (adult diagnosis is expensive here). My first prac was torture and I never expected to be able to teach full-time, especially as a mum. I began with the intension of casual work, but am now interested in teaching on-line, choosing my own schedule and workload and only needing to focus one lesson at a time. Have you looked at other work you can do with teaching qualifications? I'm guessing teaching English as a second language might be less non-teaching tasks. Maybe. I wish my uni would talk more about other options.

I dropped out of my teaching degree as I was given no instruction on lesson planning and was paralised when it came to creating content, i had to do lesson plans across a range of difficulties for kids with different abilities but wasnt allowed to see which kids had difficulties, I had to lesson plan at school but wasnt allowed to lo onto the school internet. The woman resopnsible for mentoring me had me in for a few weeks and punted me off to the guy who had been teaching a year. transgenders got to have their own bathrooms at the expense of the disabled.

One of the worst things about teaching is the inability to do basic things like eat and drink when you need it. Similar to service work. You cannot leave your post when you want. If you have a small bladder drinking during the day is a real gamble. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a double lesson bursting to go to the loo! I just stopped drinking in the end.

You are just adorable. You deserve a coffee donation!

Can I ask what it is you do now? Thanks, Davy

I do wonder what is your career now. But I know you could still teach just under your rules. You’ll find a way.

Since You have not found a job yet. Have you ever thought of starting an online business?

Please know you're gorgeous❤

Frigging pretty 😍