Why I Thought I Couldn't Be Autistic | Neurodivergent Magic

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So, some of you have noticed that I have some conflicting videos on my channel. One says I'm not autistic, another one says I am...what's going on??
Here's the gist: I am autistic, but for a while there, I thought I couldn't be. This video explains why I was so confused for so long. If you're also exploring whether you might be autistic, I hope this video helps clarify some things for you.
😊 Hi, I'm Megan Griffith, I'm a neurodivergent life coach and content creator on a mission to help neurodivergent folks embrace their strengths, cope with their struggles, and be their true, authentic selves.
💜 Resources That Might Help You
ADHD & Autism Diagnosis Binders: neurodivergent...
Love & War: Navigating Neurodivergent Relationships: neurodivergent...
💜 Ways to Work With Me (18+ only)
1:1 Coaching: neurodivergent...
Neurodivergent Magic Coaching Program: neurodivergent...
Patreon (Discord, Zoom calls, & more!): / neurodivergentmagic
If you or a loved one is experiencing an immediate mental health crisis, please go directly to the nearest emergency room.
💜 You matter. 💜

Опубликовано:

28 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 457

@dustyscribe8397 Год назад

I was depressed for nine years, so a lot of my outward autistic traits were severely repressed because I basically lost touch with myself and had no personality. When I first started looking into autism, I recognized a lot of the inward traits but I felt like an imposter because they didn't "manifest" like they were supposed to, and I had such a strong disconnect between my inward and outward selves. Since the depression ended, it seems like my autistic traits keep getting "worse" because I'm finally becoming myself!

@IFTALES Год назад

yep I was depressed in part because I couldn't be normal in some very particular ways, despite accepting any degree of weird from everyone else in my life, and hating most norms you could call out to me, despite that I finally just decided not to care and about a month later I realized I probably had ASD, and now I knew why I shouldn't ever care again about living up to any other ideal of what it means to be me except to just do what the hell I want, ie give no f*ck* and be yourself. Truly freeing to learn about the asd!

@adv0kitty Год назад

it would hurt less if you just shot me T^T you put into words how I've felt for my entire life!!

@sciencenotstigma9534 Год назад

@@IFTALES. It’s a lot easier to accept others being “weird” than to cope with being called, and singled out as, weird and different…no matter how grown-up we are. I can tell you’re definitely another one (like me) who has had to deal with that!

@maryquinlan3683 Год назад

@@IFTALES,wawl

@MrEmo_69 Год назад

oh god i've been depressed for 8 years and i have no personality either (tho autistic traits of what remains of my human being) man i should get help i need to at least know if i have it 😭

@fury5500 Год назад

I literally have the stereotypical autistic childhood, and my autistic traits have led me to social failure. My parents refused to get a diagnosis despite my teachers insisting that i probably have autism because they thought it would go away. It never did, and now as an adult, i finally had the chance to talk to specialists who actually understand autism. It's actually insane how many mental health professionals are completely oblivious to signs of autism and can not detect it and will insist every issue you have is minor depression or anxiety without helping you figure out what's causing it. Another thing about autism is that when you also have adhd, it can really mess with how your symptoms present themselves, so a lot of diagnostic lists are pretty unhelpful and also when you aren't good at self introspection it's hard to know exactly what issues you have.

@danielaruhl1710 Год назад

On point. Except the childhood you are describing me and my life. Well, being a probably gifted girl in rural Germany in the 70s I give the doctors that one. But throughout my whole adult life with decadelong problems not one doc had a clue … until last year. But still most don‘t get it. Started diagnosis for Autism and ADHD this week.

@kittysunlover Год назад

The autism and ADHD crossover making diagnoses hard is especially frustrating because there is SUCH a high comorbidity rate with the two conditions. (Like 60-80% high.) Definitely something the medical system needs to understand better.

@WalliFrog Год назад

I'm really glad you get that chance 💖 My teachers told me I was lazy, and as far as anyone can tell I still am for not holding down a job. I probably have both, not enough of either to be obvious, but not "normal" enough to function. And not enough money to weasel my way into anywhere with experience enough to make this clear to me or help. I'm doomed.

@mali_empire21 Год назад

well, wish you good luck :/

@Jane-yg3vz 11 месяцев назад

I went to a psychiatrist, and he asked me about a dozen yes or no questions but wouldn't let me elaborate. The questions he asked had very logical causes that weren't tied to mental illness. He diagnosed me with bipolar 2 and put me on a very dangerous drug that I've been trying to wean off for 2 years now. When I later looked at the DSM 5, the criteria for hypomania is describing ADHD. I was depressed and anxious from 40 years of masking and not resting when I had burnout. There was nothing wrong with me. I'm just neurodivergent. When I brought it up to him, he said "you're not autistic" without even asking me why I thought I was. I'm now waiting for my appointment with someone else to get officially diagnosed. It's shocking to find out so late in life that others don't experience the world the same way I do, and it's not because I'm just not good enough.

@marisad292 2 года назад

You are SO lucky to have people who give you time when you don’t respond right away! I don’t really have the kind of non-speaking episodes you do, but I have ADHD & listening is very difficult for me, so if someone says something to me, I need time to make sure I “caught” what they just said (unless I flat-out missed it, in which case I ask them to repeat it). Most of the people I know get impatient with me if I don’t answer immediately, & say my name in an annoyed tone, or tell me to “wake up” or something, which puts me on the defensive. Empathy makes communication SO much easier…on both sides!

@TheNeurocuriosityClub 2 года назад

Yikes, I'm so sorry people don't respond well to you taking your time to respond. Everyone's brain is different, and you're right, empathy makes it all easier. I'm so unbelievably lucky.

@maggasaki7774 Год назад

Omg I have so much to say just about this. My ex-husband would get so pissed at me for having to repeat himself so often. That’s one of many things he got frustrated with me for. I didn’t suspect or receive a diagnosis until after we divorced…and I’m even a therapist! So it both warms my heart that NDMagic has such a wonderful partner, AND triggers my grief that I didn’t, and have to subsequently he’s from all of the gaslighting and mindfuckery I went through. And you know what’s funny? Our oldest daughter was just diagnosed…thanks to me spotting it and advocating for her when he told me I was projecting.

@NayeliGarciCrespo Год назад

Or have you ever gotten the mimicked response like they start answering for you in a bad imitation of your voice? GRRRR...

@marisad292 Год назад

@@NayeliGarciCrespo yes, all the time! I HATE it. It’s so patronizing, & I don’t understand it, because I would NEVER dream of doing that to someone!

@lynnhettrick7588 Год назад

That could also be auditory processing disorder. It takes a little extra time for the words to get to your brain and for your brain to process the sounds into words and ideas. I have this and often have to ask people to repeat themselves enough though my ears heard each word my brain hadn't unscrambled the sounds yet. Any of my jobs where I had to take phone messages were a nightmare.

@anamei9 7 месяцев назад

One of my friends studied psychology in university and told me I couldn’t be autistic. We both took an RAADS-R test online, and I scored extremely high (“Very strong evidence for autism” and 4 points short of “Autistic female”). She was genuinely shocked but I wasn’t 🤭 We know our own lived experiences more than others, as as you said, we don’t all fit the narrow view of typical.

@FollowingRabbitWhite 6 месяцев назад

I'm thinking that maybe if you took the test again and thought deeper about the questions you might score positive for autism.

@stormyco8446 Год назад

I used to think I didn't have nonverbal episodes at all, bc I thought they were just random episodes where you suddenly couldn't talk. But I have nonverbal panic attacks and shut downs. I have times where I'm super anxious and I physically can't talk, aswell as times where im over stimulated and talking just feels like too much, I can talk I just really really don't want to. Sometimes learning what exactly certain terms looks like is incredibly helpful

@freedyorozco8451 Год назад

Munchausens

@cameronschyuder9034 Год назад

@@freedyorozco8451 No

@DeJaVuNous Год назад

I’m an adhd-ER but sometimes I wonder…The diagnosis is less important than finding tools for a life with less spoons. Social stuff is hard for me, although I am “well liked” I generally stay alone. Ugh. I’ve tried making ND friends but I get talked over so badly or get annoyed. Or they seem bored with me. I am super self aware and seek the same in others but that’s hard to find in other NDs. I’m really glad you found a loving hubby! The main thing that matters to me is to find peace, ease, and connection in this world.

@iWoofie Год назад

I really relate to this, I can make friends if I have to be with people but otherwise I avoid contact, it’s too difficult and any more than one person and I feel left out. I hope you find what you need, it’s tough being a round peg in a square hole.

@HH-kg4fq 10 месяцев назад

Curious, what is the reason YOU NEED to have that diagnosis? If you already know you have some symptoms and you are aware, what extra benefits do you get from getting that diagnosis?

@susanswinny588 Год назад

Me too regarding the HSP vs ASD topic. I've been a software developer for 43 years (71, still working). Software development requires long periods of intensive thought and little human interaction. Since I tend to either explain too much detail or say nothing at all. It makes many people uncomfortable unless I conform to social norms. So the less interaction, the better for everyone. I'm a hair twirler, knee bouncer, former marathon runner, and daily walker. Not crazy about haircuts or wearing anything but loose soft clothing and running shoes, mostly to eliminate the distraction of itchiness. I take a 10 minute cool to icy bath to calm my mind and senses morning and evening. Sleep deficit issues throughout my life eventually led to depression and anxiety. Prescription medications didn't really help. Decades ago, I tried pot and alcohol as a sleep aid, but these weren't acceptable solutions for me personally. Ultimately I adopted yoga, meditation, buddhism, and exercise instead. With buddhism, I learned to let go of judging myself or others, and past events. When I felt emotional, it really helped to focus on my breath often every day throughout the day. In a meditation group I joined, a retired woman manager from IBM told me she had a team of nothing but ASD developers for a performance study., and it was found to be a highly productive team. She told me this out of the blue. I hadn't told her anything about my life except I was a siftware developer.

@kdcraft89 Год назад

About 15 years ago I found I had sleep apnea and was sleep deprived without knowing it. This helped me in many ways. Even with that I'm "still autistic," but getting restful sleep helped me be less prone to feeling anxious/depressed etc. The anxiety has always been there but learning meditation yoga, etc. has helped me regulate it, too. I'm not a software developer but have incidentally learned five programming languages which were fun at the time, plus repaired partially rebuilt computers. I'm now an artist, so these things seem far removed to many, but I think both things are focused and done individually most of the time and calming for some.

@LammasDeluge Год назад

Thank you for this. I really needed this. I've been so tired of being constantly misunderstood by neurotypical folks and neurodivergent folks alike. My closest friends are neurodivergent (usually on the autism spectrum or diagnosed with ADHD or an anxiety disorder), but I can still feel incredibly lonely around other neurodivergent individuals. I thought that not relating to every single experience of my autistic friends meant that I can't possibly be autistic, which resulted in me not being able to provide anyone with good explanations for my behaviors and those people then assuming the worst of me. For example, I accidentally interrupt people because I can struggle to read social cues and understand timing in conversations so people assume I'm just self-centered. I also jump from topic to topic and ramble at times because I struggle to organize my thoughts, which makes people think I don't value their time or their thoughts and just want to hear myself talk. After years of being misunderstood like this, I really believed I was all the bad things people accussed me of being. Videos like yours have helped me immensely to understand myself better and to realize that I'm not what people assume. Thank you so much for your help. ❤

@katie1353 Год назад

I was officially diagnosed autistic earlier this month (I was also diagnosed ADHD in 2020) after suspecting it since 2019. Looking back there were so many signs but I suppressed so much because I knew I wouldn't be accepted by those around me, and when I couldn't suppress I was made to feel like I was making life difficult for people. Examples would be my ex-husband constantly telling me to keep my legs still because I would bounce/rock them all the time, or if we were going out to dinner with a group of friends I would need to sit in a specific place and get really stressed and start making a scene if I couldn't and he would have a go at me for making things difficult etc. My discovery of my autism came a year into my relationship with my now-partner and he has always been so accommodating, it still takes me by surprise. Sure, he gets frustrated sometimes and is still learning, but he helped me with both assessments and asks if I'm OK when we're in social situations and helps me as much as he can, without taking my independence away when I need it. He doesn't make me feel like I'm broken, and calls me out when I'm the one saying I "should" be able to do something. Having someone on your side makes such a difference.

@Mushroom321- Год назад

Yes!!, it does make such a difference..AWWW, CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 🎉🎉 I've found my understanding person , aka love, 🥰 too!! Its such a calm, comfort feeling!!

@AutisticSeptuagenarianAtheist 11 месяцев назад

I'm so happy to have just discovered your channel. I was diagnosed with "asperger's syndrome" (ASD) at age 43. I'm now 72. Looking forward to viewing your content.

@kellyely9113 Год назад

I swear doctor's are my nemesis', I've only found 1 doctor that I actually could connect with and speak with candidly without being told I have anxiety or psychosomatic issues (I'm an HSP and most likely on the spectrum, certain I have inattentive ADHD). I have refused the vast majority of meds or been found that I am not open with doctors about how I actually feel (unless I'm in severe physical pain) if I feel that they are not open minded to the fact that I'm neurodivergent. And unfortunately, lots of doctors are neurotypical or are so rigid because they have only ever been a doctor (and likely lack personal skills to have a more rounded life) and "know what they know", give you maybe 5 minutes of their time and prescribe bullshit for you to take. So, I lie a lot to doctors or find a new one unless I can trust they will take my word seriously and consider my issue to be valid. Needless to say, they do not like me 🤣.

@kezrave2982 Год назад

Lightbulb!!! My son was finally diagnosed with ADHD last year at 23. I was dismissed out of hand by all the psychiatrists despite him basically being diagnosed by his educational psychologist when he was 8 years old. He went on medication a year ago and it has not helped at all. He is now being tested for autism which I think will be the final diagnosis. I never thought he was autistic as he was very verbal and could make eye contact, but now with so much more information available, the stimming, the lack of regulation, the lack of social cues (why didn't we realise when we have been telling him since he was 4 to "read the scene" but he never could). He has been in therapy and group therapy from 4 to 18 and I was always told that it was bad parenting or that he was a difficult child. He experienced some terrible times in childhood due to this. Plus I also did soooo many parenting classes. I hope that this does not continue to happen to other families and individuals.

@princesspikachu3915 Год назад

Awww. Similar to you my husband is accommodating. Funny thing is how accepting he is of my diagnosis. To the point where when he mentioned my diagnosis to someone once he also got angry because of their reaction. It was during a school meeting for our daughter and he mentioned thinking she might be on the spectrum too because I was. Really sweet and understanding person. Glad to see someone else find a good person too. I see too many lonely people on the spectrum and I feel bad for them.

@SydneyRichards 10 месяцев назад

This is the video I have been looking for!!! Thank you so so much for sharing, Megan!!

@cristinaroe2166 Год назад

Dear Megan, I have had much the same experience as you have. I too have ADHD and autism but wasn't listened to or believed for YEARS. Also being female, it's so much more difficult obtaining a proper diagnosis. On the face of it, I'm an extrovert yet ordinary communication is really difficult for me. You are blessed to have found such a husband who understands and even some friends who aren't 100% on board, even when I've tried to explain to them. Thanx so much for your channel.

@psychicjoline Год назад

This video is so so beautiful! That’s wonderful to have friends and people around us that can make us happy and help us through our own experiences with love and understanding 💙💙💙

@shantibeefree 4 месяца назад

So many years listening to you! Thank you so much for sharing. I am not diagnosed officially but ever since my oldest child was diagnosed I realized I also was neurodiverse and this was healing to hear

@TheNeurocuriosityClub 4 месяца назад

I'm so glad I could help

@jessicawalsh7135 Год назад

Im so thankful to of found you!! I am 98 percent sure my daughter is autistic and watching your videos helped so much.

@annap62407 Месяц назад

It’s amazing how well you can naturally mask to survive when punished for autistic traits as a child

@saffsholistichealth 27 дней назад

I prefer direct communication too but I also can have to THINK about an answer for things sometimes

@InHisSservice 4 месяца назад

Love the shout out to him.

@LindsayTheThriftySwiftie 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much for sharing this video and your knowledge!

@ESEJESEJ Год назад

That thing about not responding while thinking of what to respond is me 100% I'm a musician so I don't know about the stim part. However, I play drums on my knees and every possible surface all the time and it drives people nuts. I seek eye contact but I have a hard time maintaining it. I have to look away and reset.

@Kdrouil 8 месяцев назад

First off, your husband is an awesome person! Second, I feel so relatable to everything you said. I lived in a house hold that didn’t believe in mental health or disabilities. A lot of mind over matter, you can do better & suck it up buttercup mentality shoved in my face from great parents 😂 I was finally diagnosed with ADHD none attentive at 37 but I still feel somethings off or missing. I have always asked myself why I can’t be a normal human being, why can’t I function like everyone else?!? Probably because I’m not like everyone else, I’m pretty sure I’m autistic, especially when everyone I meet says I’m one of a kind 😂 Everyone always tells me I have a quirky sense of humor, I see things in a different light & you’re such an odd ball but in a good way. I’m always pondering on what they see but deep down I know I’m way out of this world & in my own 😂 Even seeing therapist & psychiatrist are so draining socially & emotionally when discussing myself, half the time I don’t want to go because I hate talking about myself & feelings 😂 Can’t they see & understand how awkward our interactions are! My online aspie assessment even said 100% probability of being atypical! It’s just so hard to find the right help & get proper testing from trusted professionals.

@emilybelzer5773 5 месяцев назад

Ohhh, you've got Seamus Heaney's Beowulf on your shelf there!! I got to hear him read from it when I was in college and it was incredible.

@oddduckdeena 6 месяцев назад

44f. Until this year I never entertained the idea that I could be Autistic. I didn’t think I stemmed. I don’t go non verbal. I’m sensory seeking. I can make moderate eye contact. What made me look into it is my naïveté. I’ve always been a bit odd, but the autistic community on here feels like home. I have so many shared traits and experiences. So much of my past experiences that I thought were caused by something else fit so much neater in this category instead of having multiple vague other explanations. I probably wouldn’t seek a diagnosis, but just knowing why has been cathartic.

@Madmontyjam Год назад

😭 thank you for the video, for your truth, your kind words, I for one appreciate. 💕

@lovinglife3954 Год назад

Thanks for this. I've been told by *all* my mental health practitioners and *all* my family therapy mental health practitioners that I don't have autism, but do have ADHD. I'm still not sure I have autism because ADHD traits are so strong. idk if it matters but it's good to watch you explain your point of view and your experience.

@meaningfullives9360 Год назад

Thank you for your video and sharing about the chapters you've travelled through. I'm brand new to your channel and relate so much to what you say. Yet to seek a diagnosis, so this is really useful in case I need to advocate for what I know to be true about myself

@brightthembo Год назад

I just found out 4 minutes ago that I am not the only autistic person who has non-speaking episodes. I'm shook but so grateful. Here I go to watch a bunch more of your videos.

@RainbowCurveCostuming 2 года назад

Most of the things you brought up also apply to me and I got my diagnosis. Granted I approached a place specialized in adult diagnosis.

@TheNeurocuriosityClub 2 года назад

Good to know!!! Thank you

@TentacleBees Год назад

I'M LITERALLY YOU, YOU ARE ME, WE ARE EACH OTHER. Thank you so so much for this video

@MellowJelly Год назад

Same especially the nonverbal episodes! From the outside my past relationships think I'm giving the silent treatment or being spiteful or throwing a tantrum. I just can't speak or express how I feel sometimes and it's frustrating but I'm usually very calm when I'm dissociating

@hellojossews4582 5 месяцев назад

My husband is awesome too. Stimming - the leg rock, twirling hair, sucking any kind of tie on clothes since childhood. You make me feel seen. Thank you.

@dominic.h.3363 Год назад

A psychiatrist and a psychotherapist told me I'm not autistic enough for a diagnosis, nobody will diagnose a 1-2/10 (the latter took about 40 seconds to decide). My first outreach to an actual ASD diagnosis center happened about a month ago, and I get nervous with each passing day, because they had me fill out a 43-page diagnostic sheet that ended up being 65 pages printed, by the time I finished with it, I've had that much to say. Whenever I watch a video about autism I freak out over the one thing that's just not me, as if the other fifteen things that I know apply to me wouldn't be enough, but I look at any behavioral pattern that isn't me as a reason for dismissal, because I don't know how much it weighs into the whole diagnosis, and that's one of my actual issues, my utter and complete inability to prioritize, to determine how much a part contributes to the whole, and my perfectionism is just that... I don't strive to be perfect, I'd be perfectly fine giving 95% instead of 100%, my issue is with determining that that thing I half-assed only contributes 5% to the whole picture, so I shouldn't bother fixing it. And here I am having no idea how I ended up talking about this when my main topic was being stressed about issues I don't have, as if the other ones I have weren't enough...

@HH-kg4fq 10 месяцев назад

Curious, what is the reason YOU NEED to have that diagnosis? If you already know you have some symptoms and you are aware, what extra benefits do you get from getting that diagnosis?

@dominic.h.3363 10 месяцев назад

@@HH-kg4fq Because I'm 38, and paraplegia was a perfect scapegoat for my autism for tne entirety of that duration, except not for the entirety of my quirks, and what those quirks did. - eye contact: I have an issue with people looking at me, that's what's causing me anxiety, which is not heightened by returning eye contact, making no difference in my observed behavior when I return eye contact vs. when I don't. - restricted interests: I'm paraplegic, so I have a limited range of things I can pursue the first place... do I have limited interests because I have autism, or because I am paraplegic? chicken or the egg... - rigid insistence on routines, dislikes changes in them: guess what, being disabled it's absolutely essential for you to do things one way, the best way, to avoid any kind of exertion that would lead to accidents, therefore it makes complete sense to have devised one way to conduct yourself for your own wellbeing, another chicken or the egg case Should I continue? 7 out of 10 manifestations of autism fit me, but the majority of them is just something that is completely justified for me to exhibit as an adjustment strategy to my spinal cord injury. I'm not masking my autism, paraplegia is masking my autism, autism and being paraplegic are completely synergistic traits and I can't just drop being paraplegic to show people I'm really autistic. I've been considering seeking a diagnosis because I've noticed certain patterns and challenges in my life that fit autism as a reason better. I think having a diagnosis would provide clarity not only for myself but also for those around me. It's not about labeling or categorizing, but rather about gaining insights that can help me communicate more effectively and navigate the world in a way that suits my multifaceted needs, the right approach this time. I believe it would be a valuable tool for both personal growth and building stronger connections with others. I haven't had a migraine with aura in four months, because the specificity of how autism affects someone, and the strategies how to self-regulate helped me avoiding situations I haven't had the first idea would trigger them, trigger me. Putting up with my quirks wouldn't be a good faith gesture people would be free to ignore, but an accommodation of a legitimate issue. And I need something that qualifies and quantifies how much of that excuse is legitimate, so I can self-regulate how much slack I'm giving myself, which is the most important part in all of this. If I do not know where autism comorbidities stop and the excuses begin, I will never have a measure of what actions toward self-betterment are a worthwhile approach, vs. an exercise in futility. You can't power through dyscalculia, just as much as you can't power through a spinal cord injury. It's too easy to delineate these limits with paraplegia, because it's a clear-cut physical challenge. But you can't do that with things that are literally all in your head.

@HH-kg4fq 10 месяцев назад

@@dominic.h.3363 sooo, if/when people ask you if you have autism, are you not offended? Like if you don't make eye contact with someone and they ask you if you have autism, would you feel offended? Or, grateful?

@dominic.h.3363 10 месяцев назад

@@HH-kg4fq People never ask, people see the wheelchair and ascribe any social ineptitude on my part to my mobility issues. Other than that, I never take offense on an acknowledgement of facts. It's just information.

@HH-kg4fq 10 месяцев назад

@@dominic.h.3363 I have not yet asked, but when I witness obvious signs of autism, sometimes I want to just come out and ask them directly. It would make communication SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE AND EASIER. It is like trying to talk to someone who speaks a different language. It's no big deal if they just tell me. Like if they said, "No hablo ingles." There would be fewer misunderstandings and annoyances. Like if someone refused to make eye contact with me. Rather than notice it as rudeness or inappropriateness, I would just give them a pass if they said they are autistic.

@laurahansen2741 Год назад

Many of my family and few friends say I am not. A few say am. The tests say I am. I don't know. I am nervous to get a diagnosis because if I am not, then I will think I am loonie tunes thinking "now it all makes sense". Regardless...your video helped. Thank you beyond words. I send kindness

@lorenzmenke3121 Год назад

Just discovered your channel-very nice. I wish I wold get my NT wife to really understand what it is like to have both ADHD & Autism in my day to day.

@HeatherLandex 5 месяцев назад

I'm so lucky my psychiatrist was a sweet guy I could be almost myself around. My diagnosis (already had ADHD diagnoses 2 years prior).. took only a few weeks. I was doing the classic deep research on myself & in response to an assessment & questionnaire. AuDHD in women (or people with those hormones) is a particular flavour. I also go non-verbal & people think I'm purposefully doing the silent treatment. I couldn't think of words, or wasn't understanding why they expected an answer (maybe as I'm usually chatty). I don't look autistic, I do give off the classic Hyper vibe sometimes.

@melsgalleria Год назад

I have adhd and suspected to be autistic. However, apparently even though both my therapist and my psychiatrist said I do have autistic traits it is very hard to be diagnosed as an adult where I live. My therapist is supposed to be doing an unofficial test with me soon to see if it is worth attempting to get an official diagnosis. I know I still have a lot of imposter syndrome with the idea as I don't know if it is just in my head, or if I am actually autistic. It sounds like you have a in a gazillion husband, and a great support system. My husband is more than likely autistic as well and he has a lot of issues with getting easily overstimulated especially when my adhd meds wear off and my adhd traits get full blown.

@lynnemarie7885 8 месяцев назад

I am just trying to find out what is going on for me so your channel is very helpful. I did not understand the breadth and width of my struggles until the pandemic: when everything shut down and we were forced into social isolation all I felt was PURE RELIEF. Why was everyone freaking out?! Not trying to downplay the terror of that time, but socially for me: I was totally at ease with no visitors, no in office meetings, no small talk with anyone, everything was suddenly so.... quiet. Not even a lot of traffic or people. Also, just like you, being with someone who is so able to just let me be myself has helped me endlessly to do just that: truly be me. Finally. My husband is the rock star of my life. (he happens to also be neurodivergent hahaha.) So, I also never thought I had that many social issues (spoiler, I totally do. Like, I have always known that I don't need or want deep friendships amoung many other things). So now I am trying to figure it allllll out. Thanks for your video!

@dreyddog19 6 месяцев назад

COVID quarantine was nice for me too!

@mimib8932 10 месяцев назад

Well heeey this is the second video I've watched and just realized your channel is called neurodivergent magic and I also over think everything and can't help but to think I was drawn to your page by fate and it sounds crazy I guess but I love the word magic and everything it means sorry just want to put that out there the last video I watched I choose because of what the title said and completely bypassed the name of your channel til now 😂😊

@mimib8932 10 месяцев назад

Also by son is autistic and my daughter has adhd so I wonder where they might have gotten it from

@barbarahansbury2291 Год назад

Your genius of sharing and ability to make understanding so clear thank you!

@lizhyink5636 Год назад

Yes, this is why affordable biological testing might save people years of wonder. Whatever condition or conditions apply can then get addressed, and a person can have the advantages of more specific support. Sara Fay wrote a book about misdiagnoses and advocates for this. There was a panel discussion about it on the 1A radio show.

@lizhyink5636 Год назад

Also, Beth Ellwood wrote recently in " Psypost" about a study of the right anterior region of the brain showing nore connectivity. This might be another helpful diagnostic tool besides wider genetic testing, for instance.

@kirstywhiley3975 Год назад

I don't think i am autistic as I have a learning disability but my rare condintion is on the borderline of autisim. Bu ti do have some autisim traits, like having a routine in the morning, i defiently do sit in my towl after shower for an hour or half an hour, i fidget witht things so my fidget ring has been my life line after shielding for a year in 2020 and getting back to normal life again. i love being busy, I'm in so many different groups It's amazing. I want to get diagnosed but my mum said i don't need to as I'm me and unique but want to. I absolutely hate tags in my new clothes so always cut them off. i love how i just found your videos. amazing.

@Nutrition2Nourish1 Год назад

So happy to see how supportive your husband is. 🥰🥰

@KristineLevineComedy Год назад

Can you tell us what your diagnosis was finally what type of autism? Or does it not work like that? I really appreciate your videos, you have a kindness and a genuine warmth that makes people feel safe.

@busra_telli Год назад

I feel so seen. It is so much relatable. Thank you for making this video..

@dawnlivingston6236 Год назад

It is a blessing to have people support you in your circle of family and friends. This is a rare thing. God bless you on your journey. I have self-diagnosed myself. Because I have been treated badly by doctors my whole life. I have been different my whole life and I always knew it. I have 5 out of 12 grandchildren who are for sure autistic. I just know there's a connection between me and the kids. I have absolutely no one that supports me, even though we have autistic children in our family. My husband is not accommodating at all. He's always trying to force me to do things I didn't want to do our whole marriage. He never lets me be alone when I need to be alone. It's really aggravating. No matter how many times I explain myself to him, I have to explain myself to him.

@goldenquill96 Год назад

I hope you can build a friendship with some of your neurodivergent grandkids. My gramma's name is also Dawn and she is in my top three closest, favorite people. I feel completely accepted by her. I grew up with a lot of shame, judgement, and fear (my parents were ill-equipped to be raising a child who had both autistic and ADHD behaviors), and memories of her compassion and acceptance got me through the hell of childhood and still comes back to me as reminders to be gentle and accepting. I'm not sure if she's neurodivergent, but I'm very sure my mom was autistic (she passed away when I was a teen) and my dad has ADHD. All of my siblings are one (or both) of the two, in addition to symptoms that look like OCD, anxiety, depression, and C-PTSD, likely more the products of our upbringing than anything else. My dad doesn't like to acknowledge how we were raised- he's got a shiny version of all of us in his head: versions that aren't neurodivergent or queer or anything else he doesn't like or understand. We're not on speaking terms. Being embraced as I am is the greatest gift anyone has given me, and my Gramma is one of the few people to give me that gift. It's made all the difference between life and death, for me. My Gramma has been my reason for living, my spiritual compass, my role model, and the warmest light in my heart. I hope you find some people who accept and embrace you where and as you are, and I hope your grandkids can become some of those good relationships. You deserve love and acceptance.

@rowdysgirlalways Год назад

OMG! I have to do this before I do that, etc., this is me! Shutting down? When things become overwhelming, I can't do anything but sit in my chair and play my games...for hours and hours. I wiggle my right foot. Sometimes my left, but that tends to be more a conscious decision rather than when I suddenly realize that my right foot is wiggling. I'm a shy introvert who has learned to let go and be extroverted, but then I require more time to recharge my batteries. I've endured depression most of my life. I've been a loner, I enjoy my own company, I can keep myself entertained, my mother really appreciated that when I was a child. I had trouble focusing in school. The thing is, when I was a child, I don't think that autism was a thing. Not back in the 50s or 60s. I was tested in 4th grade as to whether I was learning-challenged, though that wasn't the word we used. 🙄 Turned out that I'm gifted, whatever that means. I just couldn't concentrate on what was going on, I got bored easily. In a social situation, I preferred the quiet corner. Big crowds overwhelm me. I just figured I was nuts. But so much of what you say speaks to me. It explains the jumble I have inside me.

@SunflowerGirl__ Год назад

I was born in 1986 and I just got diagnosed with autism. Years before I was mistaken with having bipolar disorder. Now everything makes sense, but I still don't know what to do about it.

@4everpee Год назад

My life is a nightmare of struggles. My struggles are very noticeable. I have an orendeous job that i dont like at all because the way I am. My feelings are more connected and meaningful when I am drunk or high in stress medication. My brain is always trying to over fired. Its exhausting and it is not necessary.

@JaySun333 Год назад

Thank you.

@CurtisCanby Год назад

The autistic community on youtube is really accepting of people regardless of how doctors see them. I haven’t seen a neurodivergent youtube channel yet that doesn’t have some version of “If you really believe that your autistic, then welcome to the club.”

@bryonseverns5919 Год назад

Awesome insights which transformed inner experiences into words to share.

@annwilson3069 8 месяцев назад

❤❤love the way

@RatsPicklesandMusic 9 месяцев назад

One of the first psychiatrists I saw (after being formally diagnosed too) seemed skeptical of my autism UNTIL they "caught" me rocking back and forth slightly. After that the apparent doubt dissipated. 🙄🙄

@meadowbright9134 Год назад

I like like ur voice so much.. It's very soothing.. ~ I was diagnosed with autism and adhd ricently and I still cant quite admit that.. Like.. I know that l have both of them, but sometimes it's just so hard to connect the dots... I also have really bad issues with memory (I think I should check it too), so this could be the main cause of this hesitation (can't analyse my life for these traits properly, can't remember what was like minutes ago (I had to rewatch your video 3 times) ) The other reason why I doubt my diagnosis is that I don't stim But I Actually Do These stims are not healthy, like biting my nails, scratching my skin a lot .. I can even see how it effects me, but it kinda looks more like anxiety Thank you for this video! 🍃✨ Your thoughts were very helpful to hear 💓 (damn, I wish I had predictive text on my phone.. I write in english only in youtube comments, so it's rly hard thing for me to do... But it's cool tho, that I write about topics which I like thinking about the most, so thnx for this opportunity 🍃🌸🌿) Much love 🍃✨💛

@meadowbright9134 Год назад

I forgot about vocal and visual stimming!! I sing and whistle a lot when I have some kind of internal urge And I also like watching beautiful things like crystals, pictures of crystals, shiny pics.. I do stim : )

@arin.000 Год назад

Idk if it helps but i rock back and forth(bc i try to unmask so fuck it if i want to do it i do it) and i ramble about dinosaurs and still had trouble getting diagnosed

@allisonleighandrews8495 Год назад

thank you

@houki8636 Год назад

One thing that came out following my diagnosis was that my flatmate also mentioned that I wouldn’t respond to her so she thought I wasn’t interested. Then about 5 minutes later I would suddenly start responding. She asked me the same question - “why didn’t you respond? I though you weren’t interested?” I replied -“ I was thinking and trying to process the information”. So now she knows I kinda lag in my response and she’s getting used to it.

@zaviahopethomas-woundedsou9848 Год назад

You have helped me see I too am on the spectrum, I wondered a bit when my son was diagnosed at 17 but not sure. I questioned if he was because he has great eye contact and is very compassionate and empathic. I was so wrong. I just don't know if I should bother getting diagnosed.

@BG-nm5xt Год назад

Psychologists with the correct training and able to do detailed testing can diagnose autism. But they can make errors if not provided the correct information by the person or parents. Psychiatrists can diagnose autism but don't do the necessary testing for mild autism. Some therapists are able to see and diagnose autism, but don't do the detailed testing either. If you have a child or teen that needs a diagnosis, go to a psychologist and they can do testing that is necessary. Then the child, teen or adult may be eligible for SSI, and you use the psychological report for your medical documentation. Most doctors, PA's and NP's don't have much training at all in this area.

@Charrbonic Год назад

This is a fantastic video. Thank you.

@HobbitBroad Год назад

I had my daughter tested for autism. They told me that yes she does have a lot of autistic traits but that she was 'to social' to be autistic. Then they said most of those traits must/most likely are learned traits. I just realized I should have asked them "learned from who?". Now I'm learning about masking and the implications it has for women with autism. I'm also discovering it's nearly impossible for a 55 year old woman to get tested for autism, specially in the state I live in.

@elequira5467 Год назад

i kind of want to be autistic as weird as that may sound, because i feel like it would explain a lot of the weird things about me and i’d have somewhere i belong, i guess. but at the same time i feel like there’s too many autism symptoms that i don’t have. i struggle with eye contact, but not with people i’m more familiar with. I’m pretty socially awkward and do not know how to operate in social situations, but i’ve already been diagnosed with social anxiety and adhd so that could easily be the cause of that. i understand sarcasm easily most of the time. and when i was little, i didn’t display any autism symptoms that i know of. i played normally, made up stories with my stuffed animals, had imaginary pets. i was very social and good at making friends, and i loved it. most of my issues only really started with puberty. and i don’t really have a lot of sensory issues, i can handle any kind of lighting even if i prefer dim yellow lights. i’ve never had a meltdown/shutdown, or sensory overload. but on the other hand, i have always, always felt like i didn’t quite belong, like i was missing some basic life instructions that just seem to come naturally to other people, and for a long time i wished something would happen to me so i’d have a reason for it. i stim a lot, like just rocking back and forth very slightly when i’m just sitting down, or messing with whatever is within reach, or when i hear a loud/bothersome noise i flap my hands to shake it away unless i know someone is watching me. i have some touch issues, particularly when i’m not the one who initiates it, like when someone puts their hand on my shoulder as we’re talking i have to fight not to immediately cringe back and as soon as the person is out of sight i have to scratch/rub at the area to get the feeling off. and i just feel like socializing is weird for me, and it doesn’t seem like solely social anxiety. it’s like everyone else was given a script and i was expected to just improvise and i have no idea how to do that. how to know when to respond to something, or what to say, or what tone of voice i should be saying it in, etc. In short, i just wish i had an answer, a definitive answer to whether or not i’m autistic. i really wish there was some physical test they could do, like a blood test or an MRI, that would tell me for sure. but nope. just have to deal with not knowing edit: that was so much longer than i thought it was i’m sorry

@Jovana652 Год назад

Shout out to The Husband, this is s true mate!

@SunIsLost Год назад

I sometimes doubt my Autism and ADHD.

@AUDHDYGia 3 месяца назад

Great video and I have in common many of the traits you talked about, internalized stimming for one!

@barbarahansbury2291 Год назад

You are amazing !

@WizardKitty723 Год назад

I was misdiagnosed as bipolar 2 for decades. It can be confused with ASD and adhd, especially in women

@WizardKitty723 Год назад

@@freedyorozco8451 ?

@WizardKitty723 Год назад

@@freedyorozco8451 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist at Stanford’s Adult Neurodiversity Clinic with adhd and autism last month.

@freedyorozco8451 Год назад

@@WizardKitty723 ❤️

@foreverendeavoramen333 10 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@KazWinchester Год назад

We all have the same fecking story, and yet here we all are. When will they listen to us, 😢

@JdSandersfitness Год назад

You are amazing thank you

@DeZigningLife 2 года назад

Have you ever looked into selective mutism? My daughter has it and many doctors wanted to test her for autism, but she just has severe selective mutism.

@TheNeurocuriosityClub 2 года назад

I have! I think my range of experiences better fit the autism spectrum rather than the mutism spectrum, but I absolutely appreciate the recommendation!

@luisavelez2407 Год назад

My eye contact was a sneaky bc I literally was beat into mandatory eye contact by my very abusive Mom. I had forgotten that had happened until it was brought up.

@twilightwillowglade7214 Год назад

I suspect I'm autistic, I just don't have a job right now to talk to my doctor and see about getting a diagnosis. It may help with getting better accommodations at jobs due to my mental functions and neurodivergences. I am already diagnosed ADHD, but there are things that I do that are a lot more autistic than ADHD. My sister in-law even said that there are things I do and always did that her son does, he's diagnosed autistic. She's known me since I was 8 (my brother is much older than me). I stim a lot, I have to consciously look people in the eye, I don't do it automatically and when I talk, I'm looking all over the place as if looking at someone directly is distracting to me. I don't really have nonverbal moments unless I'm in a high intense emotional state, which usually happens after crying or raging. It's like my mind shuts down to recover the energy used by exerting so much emotion. I am actually reaally chatty, which is where the ADHD comes into play. It's weird, my mind is weird, I don't know what to do about it, and I can't typically find the right words to describe what makes sense in my head.

@twilightwillowglade7214 Год назад

@Custom BatchServices that's so great! Hopefully they continue to improve! I'm glad you could get him the proper care and hopefully going forward things will be better for him

@tenshimoon Год назад

I feel like i can relate to you so much - I'm not diagnosed with Autism and I'm not sure if I really meet the diagnostic criteria even - I meet some but it doesn’t seem like enough for a Dx. Whenever reading through the diagnostic criteria checklists, I've always come away from that with the impression that I'm not "Autistic enough" for a diagnosis. And maybe I'm not, i genuinely don't know. But hearing your story makes me wonder because I really relate to your story. I know there's B.A.P. (Broader Autistic Phenotype) which is basically a fancy way of saying you have enough Autistic traits to seem Autistic **sometimes** but not enough traits for an official diagnosis. And you can't be diagnosed with BAP, it's just a catch-all term for those who exhibit enough Autistic traits to seem Autistic at least sometimes, but still not tick off enough on the checklist for an official ASD diagnosis. It's the in-between stage between Allistic and Autistic. I do feel like i fall into that range at the very least. But i **am** diagnosed with ADHD which also muddies the waters, because we're finding out there's so much more overlap between them than previously assumed. So sometimes I find myself questioning "is this behaviour/experience a case of having BAP or is this something that overlaps with ADHD?" It's confusing, but maybe someday I'll find a more definitive answer.

@HSunday40 8 месяцев назад

My son doesn’t respond to me 90% of the time. I get so annoyed! Then it was pointed out to me that I also do the same thing. lol! Hypocrisy at its finest. 😬🤭

@oliviaswann4686 Год назад

A therapist said I was autistic but I'm not.

@TheEnterthedreaming 8 месяцев назад

0:50 this is so frustrating.

@golbat2836 4 месяца назад

❤️

@Coast2CoastTuber Год назад

When she said see you next Tuesday was that a pun/joke?

@SylviusTheMad Год назад

That your husband is aware he can't read your mind makes him a fairly unusual neurotypical.

@sleepygoblin87 Год назад

❤❤❤❤❤❤

@said9088 Год назад

i love you

@reallivebluescat Год назад

have your psychiatrist ever apologized??? that pisses me off no end. That person need to CHANGE and LEARN

@celesteeden 2 года назад

Yah need to pin this to top of your channel. Wow. TY

@BlueGreenEyedSoulSis Год назад

After watching your video and reading all the comments I'm thinking, "So who needs these 'neurotypical' types if they're gonna be so sharp tongued and judggy? Masking only lets them get away with their bad behavior." Kindness is a human trait, expressed when we're elevating ourselves out of the reactionary animal world we're born into and reportedly evolved from.

@midnightwriter79 Год назад

😂 c u next Tuesday… That’s not all I took away from this video. I’m just immature and it’s 2am.

@lunablossom4737 Год назад

The hardest part is wanting friends but not wanting friends at the same time. I have 0 friends other then my mom dad and sisters 😅

@charlynnegibson2893 6 месяцев назад

I totally understand

@CassandraElkin 5 месяцев назад

I can't relate to that at all. I only ever have friends by accident, I find it taxing to have to deal with humans.

@Vanessas985 5 месяцев назад

@@CassandraElkindo you get lonely? As the years go by, sometimes loneliness sets in

@seuny 2 месяца назад

💯😂

@furballpuker 3 месяца назад

When you mentioned your husband, I smiled at my boyfriend next to me, who is also accommodating like that. I got my autism diagnose about 2 months ago, and he wasn‘t shocked at all - he just said: „now I know a little more of you, and that‘s great because I’m excited about every part of you I meet“

@idadamgaard4351 2 года назад

For me the number one reason was that I'm very empathetic. You know in that enmeshed way where I have a hard time not feeling other people's emotions, which turns out to be a very neurodiverse way of experiencing empathy. But the stereotype held me back and I just got diagnosed a few weeks short of turning 42. I also have ADHD and the two mask each other.

@aliciawelch1473 2 года назад

this is exactly me. I'm 36 and just now discovering I'm on the spectrum... It's such a relief. And it has been immensely helpful to me to read other people's experiences that make more sense to me than just reading the basic symptom lists

@Alice_Walker Год назад

Same! I have a lavish amount of empathy and can see things in intricate detail from every side. So my thinking is exhaustingly across every shade of grey rather than black and white.

@kittysassafras Год назад

Yes!! I identify so much with this. I’ve always been highly empathetic to a degree that can be debilitating sometimes. And honestly, realizing that this isn’t typical has made me a little less judgmental of others who DON’T live their lives trying to contribute the least harm in every situation because most people actually aren’t wired to do that and I’m the atypical one…

@allisongilmore3311 Год назад

I am the same with being overly empathetic. Recently got diagnosed with ADHD at 39.

@4chicagogrl Год назад

Same here with feeling extremely empathic, thought no way can I be autistic cos aren’t they out of touch-ish with others and outside world? Still, so many other signs I have always had, and always thought it was my ADD. I have been diagnosed with nearly every mental condition in the book shy of schizophrenia and sociopathy/psychotic (although I’ve had psychotic episodes in high stress/poor phys health moments, like a severe panic attack but completely out of my mind screaming, rocking, hyperventilating, shaking, etc. You know the drill 🙄lol) anyway RU-vid keeps sending me “recommended” videos on autism and bipolar. For a long time they’ve been sending these and I have refused to watch any cos I feel like I have enough to deal with. Well today I caved and watched a few autism videos, and they made me cry! 😩. How can anyone stand me? What a mess I am! It’s frustrating too because I am considered highly intelligent, but my symptoms of brain fog and or tornado brain frustrate that intelligence and dampen it. It in there 🧠, (brain), but difficult to express. I think that’s why I prefer writing. It’s easier to organise my thoughts and no one can tell how often I’ve stumbled! 😅

@LindySouthern243 2 года назад

I also thought I didn’t have social differences! I actually do. Mine show up as: conversational differences including, but not limited to: interrupting (a LOT), topic changes, also a lot, typically to whatever’s on my mind, even if it’s completely unrelated to the conversation at hand, talking *excessively*, and less interest in non preferred topics that aren’t my special interests.

@TheNeurocuriosityClub 2 года назад

Yesssss, I should have listed these too!!! Thank you for sharing!

@LindySouthern243 2 года назад

@@TheNeurocuriosityClub also, yes, I have successful relationships with my friends and other people. I’m still suspecting I might be autistic though.

@wibble5543 Год назад

That also sounds like ADHD

@mchlle94 10 месяцев назад

Sounds about adhd :P

@ConvenientlyShapedUsername 5 месяцев назад

Aren't topic changes and continuing by saying what's on your mind not completely normal things?

@idunno5720 2 года назад

I don't think I'm autistic, but I'd love being told that I am. That'd give me a sense of belonging somewhere. I am definitely a sensory seeker, I can have times when the only thing I think about is my interest (october aaaaaa), I stim almost all the time, in various ways, but I don't know if I have any social deficits. Sure, I go partially mute a lot (There are times when can speak, but it's really hard to start doing it). Except that I need to have precise instructions for what I have to do or I can get something wrong. And I exeprience few other stuff. I never belonged anywhere. I was always felt as the weird one despite having many friends. I just, I just feel different. But I think my social skills are too good for an autism diagnosis. I also never felt like "everyone has been given a manual except for me". Sometimes I wish I could belong somewhere. But yeah, that's why I'm probably not autistic. Probably, because there's always this 1% chance that I may be. But I'm probably just searching for a problem where it's absent. Also off topic, but I absolutely agree with the feeling that you are staring/people are staring into your soul when looking in your eyes, it's a weird feeling and not always a comfortable one! Edit: turns out I had severe anemia probably caused by a chronic illness (which is still getting diagnosed because it is very hard to identify), and that caused me to go mute and stim so much. I still feel different from everyone else and like I don't belong anywhere, though I still have anemia, just not as severe, so it may be the cause of that, idk. Either way, I am not autistic. Stay safe out there though, pals. If you feel like you may be autistic, there is definitely something there, even if it is not autism.

@harleequinnezl5032 Год назад

lol girl get tested that sounds a bit autism’d

@guntera3845 Год назад

I know this is a bit late but I hope you still see this. I am pretty certain that I actually am autistic. From stimming all the time, special interest, problems with eye contact etc. I don‘t know how well you can form relationships but for me atleast it is just a bit different / harder than for most people. I have friends and get along pretty well with everyone around me (school etc.) The part where I notice being different the most is in groups. Even with close friends I‘ll feel left out and isolated as I can‘t always keep up in conversations. It doesn‘t happen all the time but I am much less talkative the more people there are. Not like selective mutism as I can still respond to questions when asked directly I just can‘t partake in a normal conversation all the time. As a child I had the same feeling of being able to speak but it being hard to start. It felt like I had cloth stuffed down my throught and I had trouble breating and speaking. I am not officially diagnosed but about 99% certain that I actually am autistic and not just faking it. Finding out that I likely am autistic made me content with my life for the first time ever. I rarely tell others as it is not an official diagnosis and most people wont accept a self diagnosis but it helped a lot. I don‘t see any problem in believing you‘re autistic if you share the same struggles as others with a diagnosis even if the social deficits don‘t impact you a lot in your daily life as long as you don‘t use it as an excuse. The people I told about being on the spectrum are much more understanding and I can finally be more myself around strangers/ friends. Feeling like everyone has a manual and you don‘t is something pretty individual as far as I know. Some feel like they live on an alien world as everyone is different to them. I‘ve only had this feeling when I am in public while stoned. I have better social skills than some friends that are not autistic but just weird. When talking to someone directly I understand a lot of cues (might be because I love learning about psychology and spent wayyyyyy too much time researching). I understand sarcasm pretty well but my dad who is likely also autistic often doesn‘t know if we are serious or joking. Not every autistic person has the same difficulties and strengths as others. Just by reading your text I‘d say you probably are autistic with feeling like you don‘t belong anywhere and the other behaviours you described. Hope this rants helps you a bit. Accepting I might be autistic took around 5 months for me. I just started masking less and observing how I‘d naturally behave without altering my behaviours. If you notice that autism would explain a lot of who you are (aside from the social aspect) then I‘d take that knowledge over someone elses opinion. You know yourself better than anyone else don‘t let others define who you are.

@directioner3153 Год назад

I love this comment of wanting to be autistic so you could belong, I spent my whole life running away for it and ashamed of it. I told no one because when they knew they looked down on me like a bug under their shoe so I hid it. I’m still ashamed of it like I failed myself for being this way. Social skills were my biggest indicator, I didn’t have any at all as a child.

@CeruleanStar Год назад

I know this comment is very late, but your comment already covers all the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autistic traits can present in different ways for different people. Here's some examples of how differently they can present in different people: I was diagnosed as autistic last year when searching for an adhd diagnosis (which I also have). My adhd therapist, bless her, noticed the autistic traits in me even though they didn't fit the stereotype. Much like the woman in the video, I never really had problems making or keeping friends. I am very conscious of social cues, but I struggle to respond at times, and had to learn many of the appropriate responses through trial and error when young. I was considered shy and quiet, but people tend to like me. I always have friends. I am autistic. I have a sister who is autistic as well (not officially diagnosed yet due to cost. Her daughter got one, her husband is currently getting one, and they can only afford one at a time). Unlike me, she could never be accused of being accused of being shy. She is very social and talkative. Her autism presents as missing the social cues of when to stop talking or when she might be coming across as rude. People label her with a type-A personality, and she has many friends. She is autistic, but presents differently than me. Then there is my brother-in-law. He's currently getting a diagnosis. His autism presents as missing the cadence of conversation. His timing and responses are a little off. People are often only cordial with him, and he struggles to make friends with people who aren't neurodivergent themselves. He's also autistic, but presents differently than both of us. I'm saying all this to explain that the autism criteria can present itself in different ways depending on the individual. Your saying that you feel outcasted and struggle to speak at times meets the criteria for the social part of autism. The same could be said for any other autistic trait: they can present in very different ways to different people. Anyone or anything who says one of these traits must present a certain way is wrong. That includes specialists who insist an autistic person can't make eye contact or quizzes that list specific presentations of the autistic traits. I hope you investigate getting a diagnosis. Your comment covered the criteria of every trait listed in the dsm-5 other than it being present jn childhood (which I'm guessing you jist didn't mention. While there are other things that can mimic many traits of autism (victim of trauma, borderline personality disorder, adhd, bipolar disorder, anxiety, etc), any specialist worth their salt will be able to tell if you are one of those instead and be able to refer you to someone who can help. You aren't alone, and if nothing else, is the autistic community gives you a sense of belonging, then you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need :)

@thatappolmarie Год назад

I know I'm not the original commenter but i relate to them aswell. But thank you so much. Reading that encouraged me to get a diagnosis since I share both symptoms of adhd and autism but I wasn't sure because I felt like I was too "normal" even though I know something was wrong with me. I always wanted an answer for my behavior because when people would get mad at me for it I couldn't explain why, I just do it and it always makes me upset. And example is me not being able to recognize/understand the social cues my friends make, they would always get mad at me for it and I would never see or understand it properly. But I also have other symptoms going on with me I just don't feel like listening all of them 😅 but yeah thank you so much

@ando1445 2 месяца назад

Not immediately responding to a prompt is totally relatable. I have to process a lot of things before I respond.

@gabriela_xy Год назад

I got obsessed with so many different personality disorders back then, bpd, borderline... I was a depressed teen that time and I felt something was really wrong with me, my mood and brain were a mess and realization started to hit. Now I am obsessed with ADHD (and recently with autism) cause it would explain SO MUCH about my life. I thank youtube and tiktok that took off the wrong stigma that I had about ADD and autism, I had a wrong and hurtful idea about it my whole life. Now I am once again afraid that I am just an attention seeker, like I felt when I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and didn't want to tell anyone. My whole life I was told I was weird, "gifted", then lazy, broken, quiet, with weird cringe mannerisms and hyperfixations that I should change. And when I reached out to my mom that I might have some executive dysfunction and wanted to see a professional she replied "I made you perfect. You just WANT TO HAVE a disorder".... and she is not wrong: I feel like I am craving a diagnosis for so long time, cause I have to live with myself and my thoughts everyday and I know there is something different that makes so hard to me to behave "normal". I want a diagnosis to finally get to know me for who I am. To accept me and learn more and have the right treatment. It should not be shameful to want that, right? I am 20+ already and this question mark keeps haunting me and hurting my social life, my grades, my relationships and dreams. (Thank you for the video. I just discovered your channel 💜 you're light fot the ones that still feel lost💡)

@yazzie208 Год назад

I'm so with you on this! You don't "want to have a disorder", as your mother puts it, you only want clarity. Fight for your clarity. It's so important to know how oneselfs brain/psyche works and how to handle it, especially if neurodivergent. Neurotypical people sometimes don't get how hard this can be. :/ It can be soooo freeing to surround yourself with neurodivergent people! A lot of my friends are xD With each other, we don't feel "wrong", "weird" or "out of place". It's great. Let's me breathe once in a while. You are not alone!

@Yams-Hams7734 Год назад

Are you my twin or something? I used to research those mental disorders obsessively too. (especially personality disorders they’re so fascinating to me.)

@myrtila Год назад

I felt this on a spiritual level. I love searching about personality disorders and I go through a short period of time where I think “oh this sounds like me” but after some time, I always come to the realisation that sure, I have some internal struggles that are found in these disorders but they don’t interfere with my life. But autism… is something else. I’m kinda stuck and obsessed on whether or not I have it. I spend too much time watching RU-vid vids about it. My childhood screamed autism but now as a young adult, the autistic traits are lessened so I’m not quite sure 😫 tbh I would love to get finally a diagnosis of autism OR SOMETHING because I feel like something’s “wrong” with me without knowing what

@LK-oe3qw Год назад

i realte to this so so so much..

@trashyraccoon2615 Год назад

What a crummy thing for your mom to say.

@shockthetoast Год назад

I had the exact same thing, thinking stimming was involuntary so whatever I was doing wasn't that. It didn't even seem like a "real" thing to be doing, just a weird quirk I would stop when I noticed I was doing it. Just knowing that stimming is voluntary (but also very helpful) has been such a huge deal.

@maggasaki7774 Год назад

My psych, who also has ADHD, and whom I actually like, told me that it’s rare for ADHDers to also be autistic when I told her I’m exploring that possibility. And then used her autistic brother as a litmus. I’m like….seriously? Sigh.

@larahood4508 Год назад

I recently read that 30% of those that are autistic also have adhd … so that’s odd what your psych told you !!

@mchl252 Год назад

Oh wow. It's actually often comorbid. She needs to update her knowledge...

@ShintogaDeathAngel Год назад

Might not be relevant, but I’m starting to suspect I have some form of ADHD and I was diagnosed as on the spectrum at 17 (though I want a second opinion/reassessment as I’m not sure if I “only” have C-PTSD or if that’s another comorbid I have with autism 🙄. Also, my current counsellor has been excellent in other ways, and I’ve made a lot of progress, but she’s basically done the same thing, using younger male relatives as a litmus test against my own diagnosis. Women and men present differently in *so many* conditions, even when they’re having heart attacks (I only learned that recently, thankfully not “the hard way”), that such comparisons are blatantly useless as a diagnostic “tool”.

@wibble5543 2 года назад

Best thing I did was to find a neurodivergent therapist. So much more understanding and can really tune into neurodivergent struggles!

@StephtheGD Год назад

This right here.

@mishasimons702 Год назад

this is part of why I'm going to become a mental health worker later in life! I'm queer & ND, and have high emotional intelligence. I have high empathy as well, which makes it easier to open space for healing (I do this with my friends and people I see often enough to care about)

@wibble5543 Год назад

@@mishasimons702 that’s awesome. No one can truly understand what it’s like to be neurodivergent unless they have lived experiences.

@kittysunlover Год назад

"So we're always going to need textbooks, and diagnostic criteria, and studies on these things. You know what we also need? We need lived experiences." Oof. This whole video hit me right in the feels.