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Why I Was Always Failing - Taruri Gatere 

Engage Talk
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“Your life is always speaking to you in whispers, guiding you to your next right step ..….. It’s a quiet nudge from deep within saying, Hmmm, something feels off.………. It’s the pit in your stomach, or the pause before you speak.……… Whatever form the whisper takes, it’s not a coincidence. Your life is trying to tell you something. “ - Oprah Winfrey
Taruri’s life had been whispering to her for a long time. She knew that things were not right, she’d felt it for a long time. Everything she touched, turned to dust. There was the growing feeling of dread that had become a constant. A nasty break-up opened the door for her to sit with herself and examine the cracks in her life. Taruri Gatere tells of identifying, examining and resolving layers of subtle trauma and limiting beliefs from her childhood. This has allowed her to find meaning, peace and purpose. Now everything she touches blossoms.
#mentalhealth #trauma #selfawareness #healing
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21 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 97   
@georgesongwe267
@georgesongwe267 9 месяцев назад
"for a long time I thought I was defective" me exactly 😢....I always feel like am a substandard human, I always think life is a game and for the life of me I can't figure out how to play.....I just pray I get it right soon
@teresiamaina9573
@teresiamaina9573 9 месяцев назад
I have that same feeling here
@Ladyfaithke
@Ladyfaithke 2 года назад
She’s described an environment in most homes of people born in 80’s regardless of the geographical location in the country .Chilling but a sad reality,work in progress!
@TheGushy
@TheGushy Год назад
true 💯 people need to learn and unlearn a lot.
@JudyWanderi
@JudyWanderi 2 года назад
Thought provoking. I went through conscious healing to deal with internalised trauma and limiting beliefs, many of which had been passed on from generations before m. It’s true that if one doesn’t deal with their trauma, they will pass it on to their children. I’m a better person, mother and friend because I went back into the messy tangles of my life and the stories embedded into my consciousness (the beliefs also came from my schooling and religion). Once I could untangle the mess, my life became much better. The clarity and courage you get after dealing with trauma is worth the effort.
@phdclassmanagement103
@phdclassmanagement103 2 года назад
Speaking with pain but with a smile. It takes a brave woman to open up the way you have done. Thanks Gatere. May God answer your prayers.
@njogujuliusunil1568
@njogujuliusunil1568 2 года назад
It feels like me giving my story.
@shikushishi6820
@shikushishi6820 2 года назад
Deep, relatable, hard truths. Kudos for your courage to speak up and speak out.
@wangarimacharia1027
@wangarimacharia1027 2 года назад
😭😭😭This is me right now,, I'm encouraged,, I will never fold
@lynnetmuritu1821
@lynnetmuritu1821 2 года назад
this is the most beautiful story telling ever. Transcribed as a story, I'm in awe of this woman's writing!!
@robawako8436
@robawako8436 2 года назад
This is literally my story. Word for word. I am happy for you that you are happy now.
@esthercynthia7312
@esthercynthia7312 2 года назад
I relate with this story
@teresiamaina9573
@teresiamaina9573 9 месяцев назад
My story now very broke and broken by this life ... no job no hopes ...😢
@susankaruw
@susankaruw 2 года назад
Good work Taruri. This conversation needs to be held since most of us are trapped in psychological boxes that have shaped our outlook on life. Sadly we explain it as curses, bewitching, bad luck...yet it was conditioning in our upbringing.
@wanguink3912
@wanguink3912 2 года назад
I can totally relate to your story and I looooove your name. Taruri❤️❤️❤️
@Sugarbella10
@Sugarbella10 2 года назад
Thank you for sharing your story. Trauma is a necessary dialogue. Sending you all the love and light.
@michellewanjiru2643
@michellewanjiru2643 2 года назад
You are such a star 🌟 We are literally the same! I deeply relate to this.
@annabelndiloTV
@annabelndiloTV 2 года назад
This has touched me. Depression is Real. God bless you Taruri
@janetwairagu4462
@janetwairagu4462 2 года назад
1st you are so beautiful. Really regal beauty. Since primary school days you have never ever aged a day !!🧡
@karongeowen3346
@karongeowen3346 2 года назад
Turari, sorry about your journey. I knew your maternal grand parents. Good people and gave their children the best the could and did. They were typical of the parents of their generation both loved education. I can bet no kikuyu child born before 1980 was ever hugged by their parent after age of 5. So your mother grew up as the other children of her time. I pray for your healing
@KK-bf6rs
@KK-bf6rs 2 года назад
Taruuuuush!!! I’m so excited I’ve not even watched the video yet!🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥❤️
@faithnjoki1471
@faithnjoki1471 2 года назад
She is gorgeous. Second time watching this.
@phyllisi.340
@phyllisi.340 2 года назад
Such deep truths, our roots/ past affects/ influences a lot of who we become. Hurt people hurt others. Recognizing what needs to be un-learnt and what is to be embraced is the beginning of freedom and victory. Thank you for sharing your story. Very inspiring 👍.
@TheSandycaps
@TheSandycaps 2 года назад
So eloquent
@everlyneoluoch2509
@everlyneoluoch2509 6 месяцев назад
Your story is one that I relate to in all levels. I have looked for safety. In friends . Etc but I totally understand
@JayJay-me2qy
@JayJay-me2qy 2 года назад
Absolutely relatable ❤️
@carolnjeri1963
@carolnjeri1963 Год назад
I love you, Taruri 💝
@ingridnyesigire7509
@ingridnyesigire7509 2 года назад
This is literally my story, incidentally I am still dealing with it. I am not yet out of it, it’s really never easy. Thank you for inspiring me, glad that you can ably share.
@angiegrace7296
@angiegrace7296 2 года назад
you will be okay
@RoniMugaki
@RoniMugaki 2 года назад
Well said Taruri! You've spoken 💯 truth, may healing come in our lives...
@AngeloAkot
@AngeloAkot 11 месяцев назад
Thank you so much for testimony that you went through it ,as you stand firm about this world you become who real is you in you knows you who can helped you because the decision is in you all ,you were the problems but now you is solutions for all.
@anne-mariekosh5010
@anne-mariekosh5010 2 года назад
Eloquent and articulate.
@jacquelinechep9882
@jacquelinechep9882 2 года назад
I can really relate to this,I hope someday I heal fully from a traumatic past
@gilliannjeri7708
@gilliannjeri7708 2 года назад
Jesus heals, prayer,fasting,worship & declaration of the word of God will heal you. That’s how he healed me from my childhood trauma.
@KerryKagiri
@KerryKagiri 2 года назад
Thank you Taruri
@benedictmusau9654
@benedictmusau9654 2 года назад
What a content 🔥🔥
@benso2576
@benso2576 2 года назад
From the story and comments here this relates to lots of us .... could it be a phase one's life we have to go through....2017 was also that year I hit rock bottom on every aspect of life
@carolinewangari878
@carolinewangari878 2 года назад
Hugs we are many
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
17:00 - If you don't deal with unresolved trauma, you are likely to pass it on to your unborn children.
@ruthvulimu6559
@ruthvulimu6559 2 года назад
I actually said the two words with you. My mom said the same two words to me. I have cried, but I know that regardless of what we've been through, we will be just fine.Come home.
@mamelangmmutlwane1511
@mamelangmmutlwane1511 2 года назад
Thank you for sharing your story, Taruri.
@petergichanga3380
@petergichanga3380 2 года назад
Very touching story I can feel it, but Gosh! Mimi bado nimekaa ngumu kijeshi
@lucemutiso7197
@lucemutiso7197 2 года назад
It’s not any easy process. The thought of beginning to face my demons was horror in itself 😂 but just begin, slowly, small but begin. Three months down and I’m like, kumbe it wasn’t that hard after all 😅 There are many therapists giving free training on RU-vid, (check out The Dr. Cloud Show) they will guide you and you will be glad you started. All the best 😊
@kap849
@kap849 2 года назад
😂 pole but your comment is funny. Anyway pole sana.
@fatumarebecca2943
@fatumarebecca2943 2 года назад
Wow what an amazing story and lesson. Praying for you that one day the pain will go away in Jesus name 🙏.
@sainaaggie6197
@sainaaggie6197 2 года назад
Hard truths,I can relate so well.its not easy.
@wanjirumuthee3024
@wanjirumuthee3024 2 года назад
Conscious healing. Thankyou for sharing your story, majority are in this kind of a mess and they are not even aware.....
@ayaan3499
@ayaan3499 2 года назад
What a beautiful name she has❤️
@esthermurugi4882
@esthermurugi4882 2 года назад
I get you! And my prayer for you is healing.❤️‍🩹
@liliankagure4708
@liliankagure4708 2 года назад
I can relate. My story at the moment.
@VareesAura
@VareesAura 2 года назад
You're not alone @Lilian kagure we're many in this space, time and place. Being present and acknowledging where we are is important. We will overcome
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
11:20 - Baggage and relationships.
@consolatatharua9223
@consolatatharua9223 Год назад
An exact copy of my story.. trauma is real and it's amazing that one can recover from it
@Walterlagat901
@Walterlagat901 10 месяцев назад
Touching,it shall be well
@C_Sonnie
@C_Sonnie 2 года назад
Profound and I resonate
@davidtole9924
@davidtole9924 2 года назад
Deep. I have learnt a lot.
@octaviaochieng4639
@octaviaochieng4639 2 года назад
this is what is happeing in my family now.so sad and frightening
@Debbiekp
@Debbiekp 2 года назад
Thanks for sharing 🥺
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
12:40 - Being COLD and Icy.
@elleyonaspg9580
@elleyonaspg9580 2 года назад
If our culture is not of "hugs" and a constant barrage of "I love you" why is it that all of a sudden when we grow up we want to fault our parents for not dishing out foreign culture ways of upbringing. Different cultures have different ways of outwardly expressing affection. I see this statement recurring in a lot of talks of childhood trauma. Sometimes if we deeply analyse our upbringing in a cultural context; some of us will realise we were loved beyond measure. Yet what was said about your parent's relationship sounds abnormal to me.
@KijoButterfly
@KijoButterfly 2 года назад
Thank you for this input. Maybe it's because many of our parents were taught and maybe even encouraged to ridicule our culture. But also look at our education, TV programmes, story books etc. Until recently when Kenyan/African content has increased, all they portrayed and instilled were that European values are better, and we have been encouraged to aspire to that. Also I think those who grew up during colonialism are heavily traumatised
@elleyonaspg9580
@elleyonaspg9580 2 года назад
@@KijoButterfly You are truly right, not only on the continent, but everywhere these Europeans place their mark. Cultural Imperialism: theirs is superior, ours inferior. That's what they preach, that's what they teach. Our parents and foreparents were caught in the quagmire. Punished and sideline socially, economically and otherwise for rejecting that narrative and upholding their values and culture, yet they were treated scornful even if they assimilated. So let us not spite our parents not not embracing strange ways of expressing their love. I remember a lecturer saying that she was so angry with her aunt calling her "my black bird" said in the local dialect/language called patois. And I sais to her, all your aunt is saying to you is " my darling." She was unable to appreciate what her aunt was saying because it was not said in the dominant language.
@mercylynirungu9531
@mercylynirungu9531 2 года назад
But that doesn’t dismiss the fact that parents are to blame.it doesn’t have to be “i love you”kind of talk but also actions.How do they respond when you make a mistake..are they patient to let you evolve or do they call you all sorts of names?and that is what we have to consider.This is not about white supremacy it’s about understanding that family is an institution that faces a lot of challenges and they are universal.
@kap849
@kap849 2 года назад
I understand where you are coming from but I have come to accept that many of us were raised by broken parents as a result of their parents PTSD from colonization. It's not about Western cultures but about the reality of the trauma our parents were raised with. It's not normal to never see your father say anything good about your mother. My dad treated my mum like the "lesser" person in their marriage and from a young age, that did not sit right with me. As a kid I knew something was not right but it wasn't until I was an adult and accepted the fact that my dad had his own issues, maybe trauma from growing up during the war. I want you to understand a lot of us, are raised by parents/grandparents who had trauma. I'm saying this with confidence because I have interacted with people raised in war-torn countries like Afghanistan, Liberia, Iran and you cannot just ignore the trauma.
@lugaritzbrown2250
@lugaritzbrown2250 Месяц назад
Can we have ENGAGE Buruburu,ENGAGE Dandora,ENGAGE Kibera,ENGAGE Nyali,ENGAGE Mtwapa,ENGAGE Old town,ENGAGE Milimani,ENGAGE Kondele?
@gladysmichael
@gladysmichael 2 года назад
Difficulties come when you don't pay attention to a whisper. Life always whispers to you first but if you ignore the whisper you will get a scream.
@oneaccountBball
@oneaccountBball Год назад
Its tough growing up on the corrosive side..
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
8:05 - 13:00 Full Circle. DIAGNOSIS - It's always Childhood.
@morriann2832
@morriann2832 2 года назад
Wow 👌
@jacquenderitu3779
@jacquenderitu3779 2 года назад
Relatable
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
15:30 - Dealing with myself!
@jackielunyolo1163
@jackielunyolo1163 2 года назад
True
@kinyuakariithi
@kinyuakariithi 2 года назад
Madam you not the problem!! Its Kenyan system messed up!! &
@susankaruw
@susankaruw 2 года назад
We joke about it, but it is about the conditioning over time...we do what is familiar even when negative. That is why we respond as we do.
@Rixpoet
@Rixpoet 2 года назад
Taruri 🌻🌸🌼
@melsiegiteru959
@melsiegiteru959 2 года назад
I wish I could speak out as she dud just to heal from the trauma ...
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
14:57 - Dying for affection
@benedictmusau9654
@benedictmusau9654 2 года назад
Fika kwangu pia
@phillipsantei9564
@phillipsantei9564 10 месяцев назад
Okay, one more time, never check his phone 😅😅😅, hata heri umdump
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
1:17 - Life giving signals and being smacked in the head
@vagatsiva
@vagatsiva 2 года назад
Awwww... Stato... Simberian.....
@mish1990ful
@mish1990ful 2 года назад
Similar to my story but now born into a cult originally from Korea
@bobogitau5383
@bobogitau5383 Год назад
Wait is this the same lady who said she don't want kids at all some years back.
@irenemwangi4798
@irenemwangi4798 Год назад
Yes she is
@lucymuturi7657
@lucymuturi7657 9 месяцев назад
Five years ago you said you don't want to have children's ..did you change your mind 🤔😊
@teresiamaina9573
@teresiamaina9573 9 месяцев назад
She has kids now....
@maureensamia6727
@maureensamia6727 2 года назад
😭😭 depression is real
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
1:40 - Being Suicidal
@sstanoo
@sstanoo 2 года назад
U r blaming ur parents & siblings for ur failures in life?Get serious! Take responsibility for the choices u have made along the way..
@susankaruw
@susankaruw 2 года назад
We tend to what is familiar...it may display different but fueled by what we know. She is not blaming, waking up to a reality that her life was conditioned by what she saw.
@kap849
@kap849 2 года назад
I wouldn't say she's blaming them, she's trying to understand why she doesn't the things she does. And until she doesn't, she'll keep repeating the same mistakes. I am pretty much the same, I went to the root of it all and it helped deal with a lot of what I was going through in life. We are all wired differently.
@susankaruw
@susankaruw 2 года назад
@@kap849 I agree...you cannot heal what you don't know...to heal a disease you don't heal the symptoms...those are just a warning of deeper issues.
@kimmy-rx5xx
@kimmy-rx5xx 2 года назад
@@kap849 How did you go through it.I am currently working on myself and I have no idea if I am doing it the right way
@mercygakuo6002
@mercygakuo6002 9 месяцев назад
Do you understand dysfunction family?do you understand childhood trauma?😭
@Jerry.anthony.c
@Jerry.anthony.c Год назад
4:30 - 7:30 CHEATING. INFIDELITY
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