I agree that unforgivness will ruin the relationship because the back and forth will make you both miserable until he’s ready to leave just so you can maybe heal.
This is why some people are letting people just betray them like nothing and you have to beg for love f that just move on I'm in the middle of this and the only thing i wanted was to make my person happy that's it
Getting cheated on by the person who talks about how much they love you is the worst thing ever.. although I’ve been cheated on once by the person I adore I found it in my heart to give him another chance and as time passes by we’ve been doing way much better. Communication and understanding and the love is much more stronger.
Just found out my wife cheated, just once, on me over a year ago she finally told me. We've been separated but we still talk I cant let her go. It makes me happy to see something positive as so many people tell me to just cut ties and move on with life.
I give him a Chance too ... But that i found out je cheated with 3 other Woman .. he Is sick . I Know he Loves Me .. he fights for me .. But i Had to think about myself so i leaft him Today .. ( Sorry for my Bad english )
Anna Akpele okay first of all you’re such a strong woman for finally leaving a toxic relationship. For finally saying I’m done with this I’m not going to put up with it anymore.. you’ve realized what you’re truly worth is and that’s the biggest gift you could give to yourself.. self love will always be the only thing that’ll matter towards any type of relationship bc without it a regular relationship ship wouldn’t workout anyway.. & men who think it’s okay to cheat with other women multiple times makes me sick.. don’t let men manipulate you into thinking they’ll get excused and be able to do it over and over again.
Anna Akpele people who genuinely loves you will never even think about cheating on you.. cheating isn’t an excuse it’s a poor mindset that weak people chose to do so..
My ex-husband cheated on me I found out when I was pregnant with my third child. It was hard! I was on an emotional roller coaster. I filed for a divorce shortly after I give birth. I suffered from postpartum depression and then found out this was a three years affair. Love yourselves enough to walk away.💯 Cheating is emotional abuse there's no way you can truly love someone to hurt them so badly. Cheaters are selfish individuals. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Sometimes, you have to disconnect from the person to stop the pain and find peace.
You're right ! Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Moses actually says this is the only reason that you can get out of marriage. After the trust is gone, after the betrayal and pain ! It's hard to look at that person the way you did before, their spirit becomes ugly !
I agree forgiving doesn’t mean stay or continue a relationship.. nor does it equal trust. Those are separate things. I truly believe you cannot heal in the same place you were broken. I left and filed for separation. When my husband decided to step out on our marriage for a 6week affair. My testimony is we separated for over a year. But we all sought counseling and he fought to get his family back. We are still a work in process. One thing I did learn through this. Is always choose you and make others respect your boundaries.
I am with you, packed my bags and took her to the man's house 🏠🙃..She is still mad today but I never looked back... Because God is good all the time....
@@rubenthompson5900 That isn't true though. Forgiveness doesn't equate to reconciliation at all. Forgiveness is for the person whose been wronged so that they have the strength to move on. I forgave my ex not for him, but for me. I dumped him after he cheated because I believe that if he'll do it once, then he'll do it again. Therefore I forgave him but we did not reconcile.
love, cleo it pains me to see comments like this. There is zero tolerance for “cheaters”. As believers other sins should be met with the same contempt. One sin isn’t greater than the other as all sin is met with the same consequence. Judgment and Death by the Almighty God. I forgive but pray to God to give me the heart that Jesus had for sinners because He commands us to love the Lord our God with all our mind, soul strength and then to love our neighbors. Idk. Honestly I have a lot of heart so I’m not very quick to judge or call someone a serial “cheater” without examining the truth. We all fall short of the glory of God and the moment you think for a second that someone’s wrongdoings is worse than the little white lie you told yesterday. You’re only deceiving yourself. Let’s pray fervently and recognize that all sin is grossly detested by our Lord and only Jesus can truly help us with our unrepentant hearts.
Excellent Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship minus the normal expense. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my mate after a lifetime of fighting got amazing results with it.
I'm working through this mess now, there is nothing like getting your heart ripped out by the one who supposedly loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world
Tupac once said "Just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table." So forgive but don't forget, learn from it and don't look back until you find peace.
Cheating is painful, I once said if I would be betrayed I would never stay in the relationship. I was betrayed and still stayed with my partner of 19 years but found out she did it again. Ive been seperated for three months and not planning to get back with her since she thinks that I will forgive her again. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater.
Yes... Breaks the heart. Most painful thing to be betrayed by someone you care about... In a physical way of betrayal.. Like your not good enough for them
Ouh Luis. That sounds awful. How are you now?? I’m going pass through the same thing. My partner just cheated on me. I thought the same thing that i would never accept something like that but the 2nd chances exists. The therapist that i have been hearing mentioned that if you agree to give a 2nd also you accept it could be a 2nd one. What happened to you the 2nd time you found it after 19 years? What did you felt) Your history it’s very meaningful, what did you advice after your experience? I apologise if I’m invasive and you did need to reply me. I just want to tell you that you were very courageous and i hope your heart is better now and all the pain you felt you were able to transform it into wisdom.
Agreed 💯- happened in my marriage. He just got more secretive- I just cannot trust him although I forgave him for being caught in a vicious of a lustful spirit. This is very dangerous
This is just superb, I have been researching "healing from an affair by doug and linda" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got great results with it.
This is just superb, been searching for "relationships after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
After several fight and arguments between me and my husband, I finally hack my husband cell phone and link his social media account with mine, so i can now see all my husband chat and messages right away from my phone, without his knowledge. All thanks to this great hacker who helped me you can contact him *Crystal_hackers* or on WhatsApp +44 7520 648089
@@juliana1672 so you're telling you are getting fooled by over 15 years If I came to know if my wife was cheating over 5 years I would be ashamed of myself and blame me to be fooled and might destroy myself only
You must be honest with yourself and truly heal in order for a relationship to truly work. Forgive or you will stay broken. I never though I could heal but I did with Gods help. If you allow God into your life, ANYTHING is possible!
I've been married for 30 years and we established this one rule 32 years ago, and that rule is no friendships with the opposite sex no female friendships for me and no male friends for her. Because when you start giving any kind of one on one time and intimacy to someone outside of your marriage you start down the road to divorce. People need to understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Loving someone means making sacrifices for them and being selfless for them. Being in love with someone requires no sacrifices and is fueled by pure selfishness because it's all about how the other person makes you feel. Fellas never give another woman your wife's time and intimacy. Ladies never give another man your husband's time and intimacy.
this only is needed if you cant control yourself among the opposite gender, else if you have grown up with opposite gender, you will not feel like this...
@@osirusj275 i have 5 sisters 12 aunts and over 50 female cousins so I've always been around women since birth and have plenty of self control and never had a problem with female friends but that's not how women are built especially if all your female friends are beautiful. You see me and my wife once thought we could have close friends of the opposite sex but found out the hard way during the 8th year of our marriage when we were having issues and she confided in her best friend who'd she been friends with since the 4th grade and he professed his undying love for her and I went to my female friend which nearly lead to the end of our marriage and our parents warned both us but we didn't listen because times had changed but they were right people don't. But like my grandfather says keep on living and thinking that way and you'll find out sooner or later.
Guys and gals, if someone cheats, they had time to think about it, it was planned...when you catch them....run and dont look back....love yourself and find someone that truly loves you....
Rose Marilou Hello, This is always a difficult decision. It all depends on your situation. Finances and emotional trauma are certainly at play in these situations. But I believe doing the right thing is the best example for children.
Obviously i'm here because of a similar issue... @alma What would be the right thing? This guy explained we need to forgive, but didn't explain HOW to forgive...
Poisonous word Alma. Whoa, your name is Soul and your advice will lead to killing your soul. Take it easy, this man is preaching. If you are looking at these videos then you are experiencing this or have experienced this and are a person in need. If you are hear then listen - and don’t harden your heart. Do what you need to do and forgive. Only a true women and man of Christ can forgive and understand what it is to forgive. If you don’t try - then God has yet to strive in you.
I divorced my ex wife. You can forgive her, but love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Luckily, we didnt have kids together. But choosing to divorce is more difficult when children are going to be affected.
@@manjotsingh4834 hello! I’m curious how it’s been on your journey? I’m currently going through this with kids and can’t decide what to do… any advice?
I'll never understand how someone can tell you they know how much they have hurt you and how much they are ashamed, how much they love you but on the flip side of the coin they continue to do that which causes the most pain.
Christine Hartfield, I agree, but I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. Her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. As far as I know, she never did it again.
This is glorious, I been tryin to find out about "couples survive infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my friend got great results with it.
@@sweety4271984 I think he's trolling...I hope he's trolling...but if he isn't then God should let this man right into Heaven when he dies because that takes alot to get over.
You should consider that if you feel the need to spy on your spouse, and you’re not overreacting, perhaps you are in an untrustworthy marriage, that should be dissolved.
My boyfriend cheated on me in a long distance relationship with the same girl twice. Would you take him back in the future. If he learned his lesson and knows better. It's put me through a lot of pain, but maybe in the future I could give him a third chance but what do you guys think?
@weee wooo how would he learn his lesson if you take him back? What lesson would have been learned? Only to give you time to get over it.. nah, the only chance of learning a lesson these men/women have is if they actually lose you.. then maybe they’ll learn, but you won’t know because you have moved on.
Never forgive an affair. It’s not only about the affair. It’s about lying,deceit and selfishness day after day. You can never have trust again under those circumstances. It’s just time to move on. Find someone trustworthy who wants and deserves you.
I forgave my wife for cheating but I couldn't get over all the deceit, lying and the fact that she was friend with her lover's wife and they used to come to our house, or she used to go to their house pretending to be her friend while sleeping with her husband for years, or the guy coming to my house seating at my kitchen table. So trust is lost for ever , finally somebody saw them entering a hotel and told the guy's wife and he told her who his lover was, so yeah he threw her under the bus, so she had to come clean, not but choice,...I really think the only regret she had was getting caught.
I am all for forgiving, I forgave him bc he doesn’t deserve my time or energy, no need to say, I closed the door to be even fiends. Who can trust again? Only a codependent. Not me.
Forgive, life is too short. Unforgiveness spawns sicknesses, especially mental ones. Move on, don't take that hate, bitterness, jealousy, and pain with you. Leave it behind.
Cheaters dont deserve forgiveness..they always think we were fool ....they think they are king or queen tht they can fool anyone and they have proud feelings such a selfishness and they karma dont hit them😖😖😖I been cheated yesterday brutally
Forgiving is hard, It’s different when she not only had an affair but she hit you with blatant disrespect almost rubbing it in your face over the years but she knew you had no proof. They get bold and cocky with it.
This is glorious, I have been researching "healing yourself after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my partner got great success with it.
I have experienced a similar situation, they will regret it later, maybe not now but so much later. Karma misses no one. She was a narcissist and that is what they do.
The dealmaker for forgiveness and reconciliation was when Hasani said, "we introduced God into the relationship." Unless God watches over a marriage, those who attempt to keep it pure will be doing it in vain. Unless the Lord builds a marriage, they build in vain who attempt to build. God is the copyright owner of any marriage and must be consulted for permission to establish, build and restore.
@@abuvavrage not really. David was a man after God's own heart, but we all know how things went with he and Bathsheba. Sometimes our humanity interferes with our divinity
@@zayworld9933 many of us are hurting, the pain caused by unfaithfulness is hard. I'm trying to heal myself and if you need a hand I'll lend it as best I can
URANIUM REAPER I appreciate that , as of right now. I’m feeling good about myself and I’ve over come the hurt and sorrow I was going through. If I could do it i know damn well each and everyone of you in these comments can... patients, pain it temporary guys ! PUSH THROUGH🩸🩹🕛💯
@@zayworld9933 I'm trying very hard to reconcile with my wife. We have been together almost a decade. I'm remaining patient and in many ways I've dealt with my feelings of myself and my inner self. She says she is committed to changing and restarting our life together. I want to believe her and I will do what I can to heal and forgive. Stay strong, I'm glad you are doing well.
@@aleechaadams2691 wow!....my wife chearted and I battle with it, but I want to move forward with our life, but something is stopping us from doing that!
@@bodyBYuncle OK.... that's what going on now we just can not pull it together. We have both trying and it's HARD for me and maybe him as well. 🛐ONLY GOD CAN...FROM HERE😭
What were the reasons for her infidelity? Perhaps you should try fully forgiving. If she’s truly apologetic, and the two of you are ready to move forward with your marriage, then let the past be the past. Focus on enjoying a bright future together. Now if you still can’t trust her, then you will need to be honest with yourself and prepare for divorce.
Does a marriage have to end when an affair takes place? For me it does. It’s not just pain, it’s TRAUMATIC. It causes PTSD. What’s left? There’s no trust, no intimacy. The foundation has been swept out from underneath you. There’s nothing to stand on. The cheater should go be with those people he/she found such a *deep connection* with.
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God calls the man to love his wife unconditionally, even when she messes up. If you divorce, which God also understands, then stay divorced. But you are not to marry another person, that would be adultery on your part. The only way is to reconcile the marriage.
@@bernardlartims9114 Yes I can forget! I'm so different. I put things in the back of my mind like it didn't happen. However, that's because I won't allow my peace to be broken.
OKAY!!! PSSST..SOUNDED MORE LIKE A CAMPAIGN TO EXCUSE CHEATING....THEY ARE SO MUCH STRONGER..WHAT THE HELL EVER......I COULD NEVER LOOK AT THAT PERSON THE SAME...ALL I ENVISION IS HIM AND SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF ME, IN AN INTIMATE WAY JUST LIKE WITH ME...I THINK THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP THAT YOUR NOT SO SPECIAL...ANY COOT/DONG IS SPECIAL AND WORTH WHATEVER IT WAS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEAN TO EACH OTHER. i'LL SHARE FOOD, CLOTHES,..I'LL EVEN LOAN MY CAR...BUT A MAN I WILL NOT SHARE. I'D RATHER BE SINGLE.
After several fight and arguments between me and my husband, I finally hack my husband cell phone and link his social media account with mine, so i can now see all my husband chat and messages right away from my phone, without his knowledge. All thanks to this great hacker who helped me you can contact him *Crystal_hackers* or on WhatsApp +44 7520 648089
I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again, and she said "I don't love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and she confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening, as i was coming back from work ,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina @gmail .com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina @ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295 prophet ehiagwina can help solve problems such as: genetic battle spell to kill or destroy your enemy spell to get a good job win lottery dealing narcissist spell Avenge someone Spell to someone and many more
Yes, what the children go from through is even more heartbreaking to witness. Healing has to take place and it’s work to insure the children are good mentally
I’m going through this right now. I found out 6 weeks ago my spouse of 6 years was having emotional/social media affairs all the way up until the day I found out and maybe still after. I’m struggling on trying to forgive him and them. Me, him and those women all work at the same place so I’m not comfortable at work, at home or anywhere else. I have been going through so many different emotions since then. We just started therapy but I don’t know where or how to even begin to forgive. The hurt is massive and the humiliation is just as huge.
Hey, stay strong. You will make it, it's tough and will take months. I think you may eventually get to a point of not feeling so bad when you think about it but at the moment take each day as it comes and allow yourself to experience everything.
Well he married you and did not cross boundaries with any of them. So this is just an ego thing, does not seem like a big deal. I bet if he was making millions you would not even think twice about this.
@@Naija4K you’re right. Yes he did marry me but he along with them all knew he was married to me too. I’ve gone through a lot and my worst fears were confirmed a few weeks ago that it went beyond what I initially thought. This is no ego thing at all. By no means. I don’t care how much he makes disrespect, lies and deceit have no price tag. And one more thing. We both have very well paying long term careers. I’ve always had and made my own money so I could care less about his. He can take with him what he brought into this relationship.
Why are you still with someone who cheats on you? He was happy to throw away 6 years of marriage while making you the laughing stock of the office and you're happy to forgive him? 🧐 Self respect, my dear, self respect.
The deal breaker is simply disease. My ex cheated and I found out he contracted and std. thankfully I did not get it but it brought me to the realization that...when a person is eager to step out and doesn’t think about protection they can end your life. The possibility of catching a disease that I cannot heal from is scary. My life is worth more.
I know of two widows in their 70s who only found out their husbands died of AIDS after their deaths. I of them is okay. The other isn't. Since I learned of that I, like you, put disease at the top of the danger list to the person they are decieving.
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My girlfriend just confessed she was seeing and being intimite with a guy for a few weeks when we were on a break and now wants me back. It's beyond my understanding why anyone would take that person back, to actually commit an afair many things have to happen.. from a meet up, to flirting, to actually be somewhere alone and commit an act. Difficult to forgive, impossible to accept and be with that person like nothing happened.
i had the same thing happen to me man. She put me on a break but I found out from friends that she was cheating on me for weeks before the break. they committed the act twice and it’s disappointing. I’ve eventually learned to forgive, i hope you found a way to recover.
The pain that he caused me I still feel it every day for the past 2 years. I said it would’ve be better if you just broke up with me since you knew what you were doing. People have feelings and he knew how emotional I am and that I was hurt a lot before. He destroyed me even more than anything. I tried to forgive and to stay together but my heart and feelings towards him weren’t the same. It made me angry, mean person towards everyone and everything. I gave up on love and relationships, I do not want to feel the same pain again.
Trust me I feel you , I’m going through a similar situation.. My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me and I found out by seeing a picture of a another woman half naked on his phone wallpaper, then I searched his phone and found out that he’s been having sex with multiple women .. he keeps begging me to forgive him and take him back but I honestly can’t because I feel so heartbroken, used and betrayed and i know if I go back to him I won’t feel the same and I’ll never trust him again . Sigh I’m sorry for the little rant 😞 but I pray you get the healing you deserve ❤️
Similar thing to me. My boyfriend had grindr and sent nuds and everything and he deleted it when I told him to, but then he redownloaded it about a month later and sent more nuds and payed for nuds. He is extremly apologetic and even asks me why I am still with him and says I should leave him. I want to forgive him and get to "paradise island" but i always want to give up and throw in the towel and get back to my life even tho its the closests relashship I have ever had in my entire life.
I can only talk for myself, it took 3 years to forgive and 5 years to regain trust. Even then it can only be achieved if the person that cheated shows genuine remorse, which in my case was very strong.. You will never, ever forget and why should you?
*Why not just divorce your spouse? A cheater makes a conscious decision: ‘What I’m about to do may jeopardize my trust with my partner, my relationship, but after careful consideration- I’m going to cheat because it’s worth the risk and I have my own reasons (what anyone thinks doesn’t concern me), my partner deserves me betraying them and wouldn’t understand so I’ll do it behind their back.’* *Did she forgive you move on remembering the good times (regardless of length of relationship)? One time is more than enough because cheaters made a conscious decision to betray you. You should never confront a cheater showing anger, frustration and upset because it’s meaningless; It’s only an ego stroke and laughing material for them. Cheaters don’t care what you think, how you feel or how their cheating affects you. Cheaters pretend to be remorseful when they’re caught, some will provide an Oscar worthy performance while crying saying they regret their actions. Ending a relationship with a cheater is the most unselfish thing you could ever do for someone else. It allows them to opportunity to have a clear conscience, get with others guilt free without all the misleading and sneaking around. Did I miss anything?*
I never believed that forgiveness always results in restoration of a relationship. Broken trust and the lack of skills to rebuild that trust is what destroys the relationship.
@@lngwnd1 I’m decided to move forward with my divorce. The grass wasn’t so green on his side now he wasn’t his family back. I wasted my years. I’ve been with him since I was 15. I’m 30 with our 3 year old daughter. I’m done. Im asking for a healthy co parenting and now he’s flipping out because I rather move on. Pray for me please it’s scary but I’m excited for my new future. Thanks for this video.
@@Kashmere23_ Thank you for sharing because I’m going through a similar thing. I am 32 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I just found out about 3 weeks ago that my husband of 4 years has been having an affair for a year and a half. The details of the affair are so painful for me. He is saying he wants to fight for his marriage and family. Initially I’ve said divorce was the only option now I’m grappling with staying or going. When I tried to say I was leaving initially and didn’t want to fight, just wanted to coparent. He flipped and threatened me with unreasonable custody arrangements and this and that. I know if I proceed with a divorce I will have to fight him because he so desperately doesn’t want our marriage to end. I am so hurt and confused. Sorry for the rant but I definitely can relate to you. I commend your strength in standing for yourself and your daughter.
@@ashleys.5478 Same! My husband flipped tf out!!! Threatening etc! Saying crazy things! It’s crazy. He seen I was serious about not wanting the marriage no more and now he’s content in his situation I guess. He still not agreeing to the divorce… shit scary.
Yes, you should forgive them. You should break up with them and not look back. But you should forgive for yourself because you are not truly free until you do. You deserve someone who does not cheat on you. Period. End of story.
Life is also too short thinking there is a perfect person out there. Everyone has skeletons in their closest. Its only Christ thats perfect. I will never live this life thinking people wont betray me at some point, because they will. And forgiveness will be tested. Its life.
With repeat offenders we can forgive but it’s healthier to move on instead of stick around and wait for it to happen again.Once a cheater always a cheater. No integrity no trust no relationship no marriage.Life’s too short to have to police your spouse.
I can tell from the comments that people have forgotten who God is, that He's the restorer, He makes things new but I do get where the hurt is coming from and how we would be hurt even more to become vulnerable again. It sucks
Couldn’t pay me to sleep next to a woman after she cheats on me idc what I’ve invested house money kids idc I’m out because I firmly believe that when you love someone you would never cheat on them period. That’s not Love at all.
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” -Johnny Depp.
I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex once, over 3 years ago. It was in a period that our relationship was very toxic (fights everyday, etc.) And he admitted there were no feelings, just lust. We've been together for a long time, and i found strength in my heart to give him another chance, and we can both grow out of this experience. But i'm having a hard time letting go of the mental image, wanting the details, etc. It still hurts and needs time to heal. But i do have hope
If you have love in your heart and soul to forgive him. As far as the mental health, it would probably be wise to get counseling. You need to recover from the situation. It happened to me. Being married for 39 years and he cheated on me! We have two grown children and five grandchildren, he almost lost it all for the affair partner. She was an old friend of ours from a long time ago. Some friend huh? My husband failed to talk to me about it and thought I didn't care or anything else. It lasted four months. I found message on his phone, and he broke it off that day. We're still working on it and I'm not so much mad as I am sad 😔. It is a process and you need help to get through the rough stuff. Good luck to you and your boyfriend.
@@gatchcat1297 thank you so much for this message, i didn't think anyone would see it and i'm so touched that you replied ❤️ i've also thought about counseling to get through this. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that after so many years of marriage. I wish you all the best and much love and luck with recovering.
My wife cheated with two men for a few months. I have been able to forgive her and move forward, even though it might be very little, but I too struggle with the mental visions of her with them sexually. I can be a typical man as to not wanting to talk about it with a counselor, but I also know that its not going to get better if I don't. Its reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one. The other aspect that I have trouble with is that she denied things all the way. I had to trick her in thinking I knew things that I didn't so she would confess. I confronted both men and got details. Not sure if that helped or not.
I find my self in the same spot, we are to get married in October... weve been together for 3 years and i recently found out hes been texting with his ex and he cheated on me with her last year... i ended things out of anger, but he begged for another chance. I told him i will give him another chance, but i jist find myself hurt and crying all the time and lashing out at him. I see him trying to fix his mistake, but the pain is there.
Lisa Godoy has he been texting her recently in addition to having cheated before? It sounds to me like its a blessing for u to have found out before u got married. Every situation is different but u potentially have the chance to cut ur losses before ur in so deep with marriage. Marriage has ups and downs so if this is the kind of person he is, it likely will happen again when a hard time comes. Be careful and think about it!!
This is just superb, I have been researching "mending a marriage after an affair" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my neighbour got great success with it.
@@mariyaa111 Its unfortunate you feel that way my friend. Study deeply before you come to a final conclusion, answers will be found. Love to you and to all that see this message.
Hell no. No forgiving, no forgetting. My ex and I knew each other in high school. We both married other people. Then I divorced my husband, his wife died. We finally got together and he told me he had waited decades for me. Then he cheated on me....with his daughter in law. Cant get much lower than that.
@Anna Waller I say what I said from experience. Forgiving my then boyfriend now husband of 15 years of cheating ended up being the best decision I ever made in my life.Its not always the end
@@reginebarnum189 oh no ma'am. That isn't how that works. He gets a one time pass solely dependant on how he responds to your pain,and how hard he works to get your trust back. No where in the mist of that should he have time or even want to cheat again. He doesn't love you if not hurting you again isn't more important than cheating on you.
@@larandle OK, so you gave him a one time hall pass. No problem if you negotiate that up front. People can customize their relationships however it suits them. But when you say it can never happen again? Why?
It is ok for cheating to be unacceptable to you and an uncrossable boundary. We teach other people how to treat us. Couldn’t disagree with this guy more
Why on earth anyone would think that the person who thought it was a good idea to give in to temptation would change is beyond me. If you believe in the possibility of fixing the relationship you will actually take the first step in doing so. Cheating is not the first step in fixing anything. It is a complete lack of respect for your partner and frankly if you don't run from this person then you deserve everything that will happen going forward. You can only change yourself and to think you can change another person is nothing more than wishful thinking.
My wife decided divorce was the best option. I went to rehab and she found out to my many hookups I’m completely ashamed but she won’t even speak to me. The pain I put that woman through kills me because she was the best thing to ever happen to me.
*I’m glad you two are moving on with your lives. It’s probably best that you two went your separate ways. Is it a fair assessment that she wasn’t the best thing to happen to you and that’s why you cheated on her? Not trying to be rude.*
*Cheating is never a mistake. Cheating is a series of planned conscious decisions, the cheater justifies it, they determine that it’s worth risking their current relationship to do so, then after further consideration- they move forward with the act of infidelity.* When you forgive a cheater and remain with them, they interpret that as a slap on the wrist and to do a better job hiding the cheating next time. A man or a woman with no self control is a liability. *I can’t think of anything more degrading, humiliating and pathetic than getting emotional or fighting to remain in a relationship with a known cheater.*
Im currently going thru this. I got 5 kids. My wife had a short affair. I caught her, the affair is over, she's remorseful, ashamed, and regret it. Now she's trying her hardest to keep me. Phone tracking, work schedules, all information I need, goes nowhere alone, anything I need to feel secure. But idk if I can forgive. My 15 yr marriage may be over. 😥😔😞
X V Don’t focus on her. Focus on God. Remember that this life we live is for Him and not for us. I have been in your shoes. My husband was unfaithful for 7 years. I was always one to say I would end my marriage the moment infidelity played a part of my life. Truth is when we view life through our own lens, we see things from a selfish perspective; “what about me? I don’t deserve this! I loved and stayed faithful all these years, so why should I forgive?” We are to forgive the way Jesus forgives us of all our sins. When we are broken in our walk with God, we are prone to breaking all the rules. We see relationships through a distorted lens. One where we believe the other person is supposed to make us happy. Truth is, our relationship is supposed to Glorify God. It should reflect God’s love for us. When you focus on Jesus and place Him before anyone else: especially yourself, you will be set free from the lies the world has fed you. You will no longer see through a distorted lens. You will see your spouse through God’s eyes. When this happens, you will see that forgiveness comes naturally. Loving your broken spouse will be all you want to do. A love that only God provides. You will live with joy in your heart. A joy no one can ever take from you. A joy only God gives. Trust me. Put God first and you will see just how He will take the most broken and nearly impossible situation and create something so beautiful, so amazing that will only reflect His Hand. I do not walk with fear, doubt, mistrust, or anger. The reason? Because I don’t focus on my husband. I focus on God. My husband has never treated me so good. He has loved on me more than ever. He has seen God’s work through me. This is what changed his heart. We now pray together, attend church together, and work on our relationship through God. Don’t give up.
Once someone has cheated on you, they've exchanged DNA with another person and that foreign DNA will never go away. There have been studies on this although counterstudies funded by liberal and progressive interests try to counter these results. Your partner will never be the same after they sleep with someone else, and it is best not to take them back even if you are emotionally able to. It is good to forgive, but forgiveness doesn't mean you should let them touch you ever again.
@@Alex-pt5no The only ones who end up as incels are the ones who were ok with sloppy seconds and ended up getting an std. Nobody wants the chick who got the gift that keeps on giving. I'm not going to settle for some used up disease-ridden petri dish. Know your worth man. Don't settle for the skanky hoes.
I cheated on my wife when she found out she did same to me we had a very hard year we got through it it was VERY tough that I would never get through it but I felt what she felt til this day we are more closer than we ever were before been together 14 years now 👍❤️
that's reassuring to know, I cheated on my wife while out of town. I hate myself, I hate I'm ran the risk of breaking up my family. I want my wife to atleast trust me about 75-90% as much as she used to
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact John to help he is a genius. You can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) and don't forget to thank me later...
If some one your married to does not communicate that they are unhappy, that is their fault not yours. And when they cheat, thats unforgiveable. You can forgive that person, but do not take them back.
That's a lot to go through to restore a marriage that was not honored by either partner. This couple is an extreme example. Forgiveness doesn't have to be quite that challenging... I hope people do not have to survive a near death experience in order to be intimate with their spouse!
Im going through the same issue and I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest.... I don’t know what to do part of me wants to stay but I feel like a fool if I did I know time heals everything but sometimes it’s not enough to hear those words when ur going through it at the moment
I am currently going through this myself she decided that she needed space 2 years ago i knew there was someone else but she denied it and i eventually found out who he was 2 years later and i still can't get past this i try to forgive her I've even tried to be friends with her we were together for 18 years and we have 3 kids together hell it's to the point where she has lied to me so much that I'm starting to wonder if the kids are mine and I'm actually scared to get a paternity test because i wouldn't know what to do if the results came back I'm not the father i have so many trust issues i wish i could find some type of help to get over this
Well I think everything basically depends on what you really want or are looking for. Their are far better and far reliable ethical hackers out their and I feel very lucky to be able to find one of them, (spiunknown) on instagram has been a great help and lots of potential. Just ask him anything hacking related I am sure he has solution to your hacking need. you might want to copy this {spiunknown} dm on instagram now you can also contact on gmail .jordancyberhack999@gmail.com
The couple he's describing half way through, having multiple affairs ect is not one to look to as a example of forgiveness... It's horrifically toxic!!
Sometimes even forgiveness does not work. I have forgiven my husband for 30 years and he still lives with his girlfriend. I have emotionally let go living separated not no longer deal with low self esteem and mental health issues. Great for those couples that can forgive and work it out. God bless them!
I feel just like Amanda says in the comments One day I feel forgiveness and the next I’m back to feeling hurt and don’t trust him anymore My heart seeks for help 😢
I cheated back and I felt better. I know they say that cheating back is bad but living with the fact your were cheated on and stay in the marriage is worst. I felt validated after my affair, then I forgave him because we were even
@@pittleague though it can sometimes play out that way.. Someone who truly believes that statement is foolish & lacks understanding of the foundation of marriage.
If the marriage partner that is unfaithful to their partner does not confess to the act, but the event did happen it leaves the door open for the event to repeat. Reconciliation can only happen when the truth of the event is confessed. So forgiveness can happen and needs to happen, but the thought of it reoccurring is always present until it is hashed out by both partners.
Forgiveness is easy, but when it happens unexpectedly from a church, that is hard to take in. I have forgiven her but cannot forget the act. It is time to move on and be aware of particular relationship not to get into. We communicate as associates; however, it can never be the same.
Trust yourself and trust no one and never have expectations of others and you will never be let down . I have had my heart broken so many times that's how I know this to be true . Its all just a game . The old whats in it for me . People come people go and then we all just die
It's been three years since I've tried to forgive my fiancee. We've been together for almost 10, and we have two young boys together... no matter how hard I try or say it out loud I can not get over it, it can change with the day or even the weather it seems. She's the only woman I've ever truly Loved, but this eats at me so much. I don't know if I even know how to forgive her, I desperately want to but my brain and heart won't soften.
*You should forgive a cheater and move on with your life. Forgiveness does not mean you have to stay. Cheaters don't have the integrity, honesty, guts or mental toughness to end a relationship before getting involved with someone else. Confronting a cheater upset or frustrated is meaningless, it's laughing material and a ego stroke to them. They're not worth your time or energy because they have to lie and mislead. If a cheater is caught they have to 'pretend' to have remorse or be sorry for their actions; some will put on displays so believable that they should be nominated for an Oscar. Ghost cheaters, go no contact and live life looking forward to the great days ahead!*
My husband cheated on me after 16 years of being together he cheated on me with one of his co workers. Hurts so much How could he do this to me is the question that I keep asking myself over and over again like why wasn’t I enough? Even though he tells me that she was a nobody that she didn’t mean anything. How do I stop thinking about it? Everyday I think about her and him everyday like where did it happen where was I at? What did he do when he came home? All this questions and I feel like I’m going crazy I feel lost and broken how could this man that was supposed to have my back hurt me like this?
I like this man's views...forgiveness, healing...and a willingness to seek professional help...for both man and woman. The commentaries on these sites default to hate and revenge upon the other party...nothing good can come from such behavior. Those who have such attitudes destroy the sunlight of THEIR souls. Please remember this inescapable truth of 'relationship, when considering these unintended , inevitable consequences. Thank you, and subscribed. PS: please look to examples of long-married men and women and their stories of recovery as married couples.
How powerful is that People need to know that relationship without God is destine to failure Jesus say without him we cant do nothing and when we try to do it without him the enemy of our soul will be happy to take control.....lets hope that people will learn from that experience
Marie Savannah I learnt it the hard way. I am married to an unbeliever. And I am dealing with the big hypocrit and liar I've never met. I need to rebuild my life and journey with Jesus first. And The Lord only knows what will happen. Please pray for me.
I will pray for you sister we all make mistake we all desperate for love yet its only by experiencing the love of God for ourself that we wont fall for these ungodly human love Matthew 6:33 says seek fist the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you if you do that the lord will come through remember Jesus love you more than any man can love you on this earth.here is my email ,dress if you need support Jesus_is_comingsoon@hotmail.com in our savior love Martina
Forgiving after an affair is a must! First you must forgive your partner for YOU not for them. The longer you hold on to the pain and hurt the more destructive it becomes to your life and eats away at your soul. A marriage does not have to end after someone steps out if BOTH PARTIES want the marriage BUT several steps have to happen before you can really start the rebuilding process. First the adulterer needs to be very remorseful and sincere in his apology. Counseling is a must for each other and then together. You need to talk about it and ask specific questions. It isn't always about just one person stepping out. If a wife is not giving her husband what he needs, he will probably stray. If a husband is not giving his wife what she needs, she'll do the same. We as humans need affection, touch, to feel loved, wanted and desired. We need to feel appreciated by our partner. This is why communication is key!!
I disagree! You must work with your partner, that's a must. But what you're saying is that I should talk with my partner and work with them and clean up their mess that THEY chose to make. I've been there never again. And I'm not a hard partner to please either.. be nice to me, compliment me, do activities with me and stay faithful. If you stay with someone who has cheated on you, you are communicating to them that you have low self esteem and that what they did was okay. Forgiveness is a must in all situations in life.. but forgiveness doesn't mean you stay and tolerate disrespect and mistreatment.
I understand what u are saying. I felt that way 2 b4 it happened. His reason was "I did it because it was easy and because I could. I felt at the time that it was fun getting away with it"..... i asked all the normal questions like was it me was it sex was there anything I could have done better and to all this he said no. He told me that out of our 5 years, I have been an amazing wife and sex was amazing. He just wanted more.
Why did you state he ? Women are every bit as likely to cheat. In general sexual desire in women for their partners plumets in long term relationships while men's sex drive remains a constant. In general many men may cheat while wanting to stay in the relationship. Maybe parts are missing. Women generally cheat when they want to exit a relationship. As a man if your partner cheats it is highly likely your relationship is over. Hanging in there will only see you being used. As a woman if your man cheats in general it's not because he wants to exit the relationship. Reconsiliation can work. Please understand people are different and I'm speaking in general terms.
It’s just the attraction!! That’s normal but to act on it is where you need to stop and think a minute about all that could be lost and will be DEFINITELY!
Sometimes we need to forgive to save the Relationship... But the thing we need to take care about is we shouldn't lose ourselves in the Process of getting back to them.
Change is good too . In my case I cheated. From us never dealing with the pain of when I did cheat . how I was being to her and not treating her right . I apologize and we are working on us everyday. I think change is good if you were the problem in the relationship . In my case, I was demanding a lot from her and telling her to change herself to become my kind of pretty instead of seeing her beauty like before when we meet. fixing yourself was needed in are relationship . I see what you mean about not losing who you are , but it’s okay to be a better person from it and give all that pain to god and let him heal that!
Maggie Taskila, thank you for saying that. I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. She knew him for a long time. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. She said her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. She promised not to do it again and as far as I kniw, she hasn't
My wife cheated with someone I work with. I've been off since I found out. I have since allowed my wife to come home. I have not forgot. Forgave. I'm tolerant to it. For now. I go back to work in 2 days. I'm terrified. I feel like running away. I feel like saying fuck it.
@@Camis.locjourney work did nothing for me. But the wife and I were separated and found away back to eachother. It hasn't been easy. And still sometimes isn't.
Sending love your way bro. It sucks. Me being cheated on has made me keep my guard up in all of my current relationships. I dont think i will ever be lovebale again because i am too damaged to trust now
@@scottlaflame9857 I don't think it's really trust anymore. It's taking a mindset. If they are going to do it. It's on them. Don't allow them to stop you from being who you are. And getting what you want. Not all are painted with the same brush. People can change. You just need to allow yourself to heal. It has nothing to do with walls. Nothing to do with trust. It's self defence. It's self protection. And I so get it. I'm telling you. You can move on from it. You don't know me. I don't know you. But if we compared stories you'd question how I am here today. Only you can just say fuck it and get over it. No one can convince you of it. Until you convince your mind and heart to be on the same page. Am I 100 percent with my wife. He'll no. Does it hurt everyday I say the guy. Fuck yah. But not hitting him jas made me strong. Mentally. Take care of yourself. Don't deprive yourself from showing someone you can still give a shit about them.
